


Spit It Out

by HelAuditore



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Explicit Language, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Monkey D. Luffy/Usopp, Minor Nami/Nefertari Vivi, Minor Portgas D. Ace/Smoker, Modern Era, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Zoro Luffy and Ace are siblings, minor Shanks/Mihawk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 288,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelAuditore/pseuds/HelAuditore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji has repelled love for his entire life as countless events destroyed his trust in it. Unable to deal with his emotions, he indulges in the pleasures of the flesh with random strangers while Zoro, his childhood best friend, is left aside to watch. The two share the common dream of bringing their goth metal band to a professional level, but their hearts and minds will make it ever so hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MajesticookFassy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticookFassy/gifts).



> I'm gonna have to start this off by saying that I haven't written ZoSan in a lifetime and I've had a huge lack of ideas for this pairing, then this old plot I had thought of years ago (and partly realized but, meh, it sucked) came back to me and I decided to give it a go with the absolutely precious help of my girlfriend - without you I would have written jack, so thank you very much my love ♥
> 
> Rating and warnings will eventually be bumped up and added, and I'll make sure to tell you at the beginning of every chapter.
> 
> I really don't know what to say besides I'm sorry, and I hope you'll enjoy this first introductory chapter at least a bit.

Live shows always have that magical something about them, be it the dim colorful lights or the smoke concealing the surface of the stage, the way in which the vocalist's voice surrounds you and takes you to another place, a better one, how the guitars enrapture you with their irresistible riffs and how the beat of the drums thrums through your chest and you can't help but jump to that mesmerizing rhythm, forgetting all your problems and pain, unable to feel anything different from pure bliss and adrenaline.  
  
Zoro had felt all these sensations every time he'd gone to a gig, and now that he was the person behind the drum set, the one banging his sticks on the tight skin and setting the rhythm of the song, the feelings had only improved and grown. He lead the music and watched his bandmates doing their best on stage, he saw the fans going mad right below them, jumping, moshing and screaming the lyrics to the top of their lungs and man, if that wasn't one of the most glorious things in life he really didn't know what else it could be.  
  
Zoro told this to himself every single time he had to jump on stage and he knew that that was what he wanted to spend his life doing. Hell, he wanted to die on stage when his time would have come! Zoro lived and breathed music, but when he tried to convince himself that the one and _only_ thing that really mattered to him was his music, his eyes would fall upon the lean, leather-clad figure of his lead singer, or more accurately, his kryptonite.  
  
Sanji's voice was deep and warm, but also hoarse and powerful when needed, he was a natural on stage, the way he moved, sang and interacted with the audience, it was like he was born to do that. Sanji was also a natural born diva and primadonna who appeared vain and shallow but held so much talent and passion that drew people to him, just like honey to bees.  
  
He and Zoro shared the same dream and passion and many times their bandmates and friends joked on the fact that it was probably fate that had driven them together ages before, but they'd just huff and puff, scoff and exchange a couple hissed insults that made everyone groan and roll their eyes. Behind all the growling and barking, though, everyone knew they shared a really strong bond, and Zoro was way too aware of the fact that Sanji was his greatest weakness.  
  
There were times, during shows, when Zoro would be too caught up by some of Sanji's sinful moves, or too upset by the way he'd lick or grind against one of the luckiest fans, that he'd miss a note – even though he'd go back so quickly to the right rhythm that no one would even notice. That very night Zoro messed up twice, and even if he'd hoped that no one would notice, a couple of his bandmates usually did.  
  
The musicians were still playing the theatrical ending of their last song for the night, exaggerating and showing off their skills, when Sanji broke into a dramatic cry of "Thank you so much you guys! We're _Murder Of Crows_ and we hope to see you soon again!" making the small yet extremely crowded venue boom with screams and applause, until the music died down, picks and sticks were thrown to the fans and the band could finally leave the stage.  
  
They hadn't even set foot backstage that their crew whooped and hollered at them in raw excitement.  
  
"You guys did a great job, tonight! Really!" Brook was their self-proclaimed manager, because even if they still weren't pros, for their most hardcore fans they already were.

Brook handed Ace, the guitarist, and Zoro a couple towels to dry off their naked torsos, but before he could add anything else, Usopp and Franky, the roadies, shoved him away bringing beers and bottles of stronger booze.

"It wasn't perfect and you know it," Sanji tucked a blond strand of hair behind his heavily pierced ear "the damn Marimo keeps messing his parts up! The fuck is wrong with you?" he growled around the cigarette he'd just lit up as he glared over to Zoro.  
  
"Fuck off! It happens to all of us, every now and then!" Zoro barked. He had pulled on a Slipknot hoodie, when someone was suddenly at his side, making him jump in surprise.  
  
"Bitch please, I never mess up with my keyboards!" Nami grinned at him as she tied her long ginger hair into a messy top knot.  
  
Sanji smirked at her words "And I'm never off key, just like Ace and Luffy rarely fuck up," he said as he jerked his thumb behind his back, where the two brothers in questions were stuffing their faces with hotdogs. "You're the only one who cannot play your own songs," Sanji simply shrugged as he breathed out smoke from the corner of his lips.  
  
Zoro was used to that abuse, and he knew very well that Nami was only siding with Sanji because it was funny to give her friends some grief, just like he knew that every single one of them wasn't perfect and they all made mistakes during their performances because they were only humans. Still, he couldn't help but fight with Sanji.

"You're never off key? Gimme a break, you shitty singer!" Zoro stepped between Nami and Sanji, inches away from the singer's face as he went on snarling "You're not Jesus Christ, you screw up just like all of us!" 

"Apart from me," Nami added as she calmly made her way to her dressing room for a shower and a change of clothes.  
  
Sanji placed his entire palm on Zoro's face and pushed him away, not minding the fact that he had probably got eyeliner all over his fingers. "Stay away from me! You stink, go get a fucking shower!"  
  
"C'mon guys! Don't start this right after such a great show!" Usopp sighed before yelling at Luffy when he stole a huge bite from his slice of pizza.  
  
"They're hopeless," Franky shook his head before taking a big swig of lager.  
  
Zoro slapped Sanji's hand off his own face and went for a shower in order to calm down and not having to murder the little bitch.  
  
"Well, I gotta give it to him," Sanji commented as he watched Zoro marching off "he's pretty obedient."  
  
"Don't..." Usopp squeezed his eyes shut, and just when he did, a flying boot hit Sanji square in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.  
  
"You fuckin'–!" Sanji tried launching himself at Zoro who was still standing there, but Ace held him in place with both his strong arms.  
  
"Christ, give him a break!" Ace groaned as Sanji kept struggling to wriggle away from his grip.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and finally went to the showers, even though he could still hear Sanji and Ace bantering.  
  
"Your brother is an asshole!" Sanji barked, and Zoro couldn't help a hollow smirk from tugging at his lips as he stripped off his clothes.  
  
"But you gotta leave him be anyway," Ace replied as he headed to the showers himself.  
  
Zoro had no intention of facing Ace directly, so he quickly stepped into the shower and turned on the water just in time to hear Ace walking into the lockers.  
  
"You don't have to fight my battles, y'know?" Zoro grunted as he lathered his skin with some pine scented shower gel, the one Sanji always complained about because he claimed it made his nostrils burn.  
  
Zoro heard Ace snort and kick off his boots, then the rustling of the brunet shuffling off his pants was partly muffled by his voice "Isn't that what big brothers do?"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "No, they can fuck off."  
  
"Rude," Ace commented as the shower turned on "I have no idea how you managed to endure Sanji for all those years, you deserve a medal or something."  
  
Zoro growled and rolled his eyes as he began to wash his green mohawk "You fucking adore him, stop pretending to think he's an asshole just for my sake."  
  
"Well, I actually can do both things, yeah?" Ace paused and Zoro waited for him to go on "you're in love with him and think he's an asshole, who's worse?"  
  
That wasn't Zoro and Sanji's first fight, and it surely wasn't going to be their last one, but things had always worked out just fine the way they had always been, he couldn't stand it when someone had to force themselves between them and preach how things should go.  
  
Zoro rinsed his hair and let out a big huff of air before replying to Ace "I know him, I know how he is. In the end we're both fine with this, we've always stuck together and that ain't gonna change soon," he turned off the shower and stepped out of it to grab a towel "so stop it with the pathetic brotherly advice, it's not cute, it pisses me off." Zoro wrapped the towel around his waist, then used another to rub his hair dry.  
  
Ace remained silent for a few minutes, and Zoro wasn't sure it was out of anger or pain, but he didn't take his words back, he meant them. He could still hear Ace moving under the spray of the water, but it wasn't until he turned off the shower that he spoke again.  
  
"So..." Ace wrapped a towel around his hips "Can I fuck him?" he grinned wide and challenging.  
  
Zoro groaned and threw the only boot he had left right at his brother's face, but Ace ducked it as he had definitely seen it coming.

 

*** * ***

 

Murder Of Crows were kind of famous, not Iron Maiden famous, they weren't such a big deal yet, but maybe they would be one day. They didn't dream of becoming sellouts, nor did they want their music videos being played over and over on MTV, they wanted to be known worldwide in their scene, like Slipknot or Nightwish, Rammstein or Arch Enemy. Either way, they were already well known as the local underground band along with a few more, and as it usually happened after every concert, once they walked out of the venue, they quickly got surrounded by their ever growing group of fans.

Zoro loved their fans, despite some of them being slightly too extravagant... Well, some of them were definitely creepy.  
  
First of all, there was Bartolomeo, he was completely obsessed with every single member of the band and crew too, he owned every single merchandise item they had sold and had showed them photos of the walls of his room, plastered with pictures and homemade posters of all of them. His appearance was quite singular though, he had green hair (definitely inspired to Zoro's), facial piercings and tattoos all over his body, shaved eyebrows, and last but not least, since he was obsessed with vampires and all that, he had got proper fangs sticking out from under his upper lip. All in all, he was a nice guy who would have fought tooth and nail to defend his favorite band, and always brought presents to all of them. Zoro didn't mind him, he was almost fond of him and his craziness, there was definitely worse than him.  
  
Duval, for example, he was the founder of Sanji's small fan club of idiots, they had a name or so Zoro thought, but he voluntarily forgot about it because it pissed him off to no end. He was way worse than Bartolomeo, because he tried to look and act like Sanji as much as he could, even though he was at least twice his size and not even remotely as charming and attractive as the vocalist.  
  
They also had their fair share of female fans, most of them in love with Ace, and the guitarist could safely claim to have slept with a few of them who surprisingly didn't hold a grudge against him for not ending up together... Well, maybe there were a couple of them who had stopped coming out to their shows for that matter. One of those female fans though, a girl named Hancock, was utterly head over heels for Luffy, not minding the fact that he was way younger than her and that he was completely uninterested in female attentions – well, actually Luffy was asexual and couldn't care less about having a relationship of any sorts with anybody, but no one had the heart to break it to her.  
  
Zoro was really glad that he still couldn't see the creepiest of them all, a girl who was totally obsessed with him and who freaked him out, so he breathed out a relieved sigh and began a casual conversation about his drum kit with an over excited, blushing Bartolomeo, while Sanji was standing right beside Zoro as he spoke to Duval with an extremely annoyed expression painted all over his face.  
  
"I'd love to see you play one of those huge drum sets a bit like Tommy Lee or maybe Joy Jordison, can you imagine that?" Bartolomeo practically squealed in excitement "You'd look so cool hanging upside down while playing!" he clutched both hands into fists and Zoro sniggered.  
  
"Maybe one day, when I'll have the money," Zoro arched a brow and took a sip from the bottle of the finest sake that Bartolomeo had been so kind to bring for him. He could see Sanji side-glaring at him from under his bangs and he couldn't tell exactly why, so he guessed it was only because Duval kept blabbing about the new skin of his website or something like that.  
  
"Oh but I'm sure that will be soon enough! You just need a good contract with an equally good label and you'll have enough money for a new monster kit!" Bartolomeo's grin was all teeth and fangs, but Zoro couldn't return it just as wide.  
  
Surely he believed in his band and their talent, but signing with the big companies wasn't that easy and no matter how much Zoro believed in it, he knew they still had a long way to go. He took another swig of sake as he kept listening to Bartolomeo's rant about drums, slightly covered up by Franky's bark of laughter over something particularly funny that Usopp had said and Duval asking Sanji for the fifth time if he had just called him handsome, when something (or rather someone) happened.  
  
It was a bit like in the movies, it happened in slow motion, or at least that's how Zoro's mind had registered it. Sanji jumped slightly to his left and bumped into Zoro's side, startled as an unsettling, ghastly and annoyingly high pitched laugh suddenly bubbled from right behind Duval and Bartolomeo. Zoro knew that laugh and so did Sanji, even Duval and Bartolomeo knew it very well and couldn't help but groan when two hands were placed on each of their faces, pushing them aside as a girl in a black and white Gothic Lolita outfit appeared and stroke a pose in front of both Zoro and Sanji.

“You thought I missed the show, huh?” the girl bursted into another giggle, covering her mouth with her tiny hand, her long, pink piggy tails swaying gently as she tilted her head back “I could never not come out to see my favorite teddy bear!”

Zoro's blood froze into his veins. He really had thought he had escaped her, his one seriously creepy fangirl with the teddy bear kink.  
  
"Oh fuck, no!" Zoro practically threw Sanji at her and bravely hid behind him.  
  
"Oi! You bastard!" Sanji snarled from over his shoulder, then his expression changed completely when he turned back to smile at the girl "Don't mind him, Perona. You know he's a brute!"  
  
Perona sighed "I know, he's always running away from me like a mad man," she shook her head, then looked at Zoro from over Sanji's shoulder "you should learn some manners!"  
  
Zoro muttered a few curses under his breath and Sanji went on, a muffled laugh was barely hidden in his voice "She's right, shitty Marimo! You should treat your girlfriend with more respect!"  
  
Zoro would have punched the idiot right there and then, but the last thing he needed was causing unnecessary commotion, so he just growled and rolled his eyes "She's not my girlfriend! Why don't you go out with her, since you like her so much?"  
  
Sanji sighed and took Perona's hand in his "I love beautiful, sweet ladies but I prefer different company," he singsonged as pressed a quick, soft kiss to Perona's hand that made Zoro huff.  
  
"Aw, you're really nice Sanji, but the teddy bear suit wouldn't look as good on you as it does on Zoro!" Perona looked at a horrified Zoro with dreamy eyes.  
  
Zoro shook his head way too vigorously and his earrings clicked together a few times "No, he'd look perfect with that shitty costume on! Just annoy him, not me!" he cried out in desperation. Why couldn't he have Duval instead of Perona? He would have coped better with a fansite, that teddy bear obsession was just grotesque.  
  
"I don't want Sanji, I want you!" Perona shrieked out, making both men cringe and basically everyone around them stare in surprise.  
  
"For fuck's sake..." Zoro breathed out as he rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Well, I'll leave you two doves to this lovely discussion," Sanji excused himself as his eyes were fixed somewhere near the emergency exit of the venue "I'll call it a night." Sanji smirked and lit himself a cigarette as he strutted into the direction he'd been staring at.  
  
Zoro furrowed his brows and followed Sanji with his gaze, not even noticing that Perona was clutching his arm with both hands and completely unaware of the fact that she was still talking to him, all Zoro could see was Sanji approaching a finely dressed man that went by the name of Rob Lucci.

Zoro watched as Sanji spoke a few words to the man, blowing smoke in grey-blueish coils, until he decided it was time to whisper something definitely dirty into his ear. It was then that Lucci's face turned a bright shade of pink and all it took was a small flick of Sanji's tongue against the shell of Lucci's ear and they were walking off, probably in the direction of Lucci's car.  
  
"Are you even listening to me? Why can't you just pay attention to me?!" Perona whined and tugged a bit too hard on Zoro's arm, making him turn to look at her with a dark, dangerous gaze. She let go of Zoro's arm right away and backed off, half scared and half disappointed.  
  
"Hey," Franky placed a hand on Zoro's other arm "c'mon Zoro, let's go have a drink, yeah?"  
  
Zoro knew that the rest of his friends had seen everything and knew perfectly what was going on in his mind, he was an open book to them, sometimes, and he hated it. He turned to look at Franky and felt everyone else's gaze burning on his skin "Shouldn't the kids go home? They got school tomorrow..." Zoro never refused to go drinking, still he felt responsible for the youngsters of the gang.  
  
"Shut up, we're not kids," Nami rolled her eyes and wrapped her arm around Usopp's neck "Let's just go."  
  
"Yeah, we're old enough to stay up a while longer," Usopp smirked, his confidence had probably been boosted by simply having Nami's arm around his neck.  
  
"I wanna get wasted!" Luffy threw his arms into the air and hopped on Ace's back, making him huff.  
  
"Like fuck you are! Zoro's right, you got school tomorrow." Ace chastised him.  
  
"Yohohoho! You're all terrible college students!" Brook shook his head as he pulled out the keys to his van "Let's go!"  
  
Zoro grinned, thankful for having the extremely supportive friends he had, still he couldn't help but look once more in the direction where Sanji had walked off.  
  
"Can we come too?" Bartolomeo and Duval asked in unison.  
  
Luffy grinned widely at them "Sure!"  
  
"Well, what about me?" Perona asked as she stepped closer to Duval and Bartolomeo.  
  
"No, not you." Zoro grunted as he followed Brook.  
  
"Sorry little sister, let's not piss him off more than he already is!" Franky sniggered as he winked at her.  
  
And as everyone walked away, Perona was left back, fuming and shouting insults.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murder Of Crow's sound is basically melodic/symphonic metal with a hint of industrial gothic, even though my main inspiration for them is Nightwish.
> 
> Zoro, Ace and Luffy are siblings, yeah, and Ace and Luffy are blood related - if you're confused do not worry, my friend, things will be explained throughout the story. I just really needed these three to be brothers, alright? Alright.


	2. Chapter 2

When Zoro blinked his eyes open the morning after the concert he groaned and had to burrow his face into the pillow as a pounding headache threatened to split his forehead open.  
  
He didn't have the strength nor the willpower to check the time, but he had a few certainties: he couldn't hear Luffy moaning about how much he wanted to skip school, so he was certain that Luffy wasn't home; he couldn't hear Ace playing the damn Game Of Thrones opening theme on his guitar, as he did almost every morning just to piss the whole house off, so he was certain that Ace had gone to work already. Now, these two certainties lead to the scariest one: Zoro was late for work, yet he was too hungover to hurry the hell up and get out of bed.  
  
The funny thing is that Zoro had a very high alcohol tolerance, which made it nearly impossible for him to get pissed drunk, so the night before he had either emptied his whole wallet just to get wasted, or he and Nami had probably started a drinking contest that had resulted in loads of free drinks, since usually even the bartender wanted to see how far they could go – thing that had happened way too frequently. He definitely hoped in the second option since he didn't want to be broke because of booze.  
  
Zoro rolled on his back and carefully opened his eyes again to stare at the dark ceiling as he tried to dig into his memories from the night before. He did have some small and vivid ones, like Franky being three sheets to the wind, taking off his pants and standing on a table only in his speedo as everyone yelled at him that the 80s were over and he sure as fucking hell wasn't Tommy Lee. He remembered Bartolomeo leaning into his personal space and making him so uncomfortable that Ace and Luffy had to physically hold him back from punching the guy's teeth in. He remembered Nami disappearing into the toilets with that cute girl with blue hair and– Ah that was it! That's what had reminded him way too much of Sanji sauntering off with Lucci, that's what had triggered his exaggerated drinking! And then she had come back to their table with that smug grin on her face and had challenged Zoro to a drinking contest.

“Son of a bitch...” Zoro rubbed at his eyes with the back of his wrist and hoped to God that the house was really completely empty, but then he remembered it was still only Wednesday. Fuck, they needed to stop playing gigs during the week.

The door of his bedroom creaked open and the light from outside filtered in, blinding and painful to Zoro's sore eyes, making him groan and press the spare pillow into his face.

“You're late,” a deep, hoarse voice came from the threshold and Zoro knew it could only belong to his adoptive father. The grim one.

“Fuck off,” Zoro muttered into the pillow and curled on himself. He heard a sigh and the stomping of boots, then the pillow was ripped off his grip, making him groan again.

“Just get up, you bull.”

Two fingers tugged softly on Zoro's septum piercing, making him raise his head from the bed to glare up at the stoic figure towering over him.

“Are you hungover?”

“No, I'm peaches.” Zoro muttered as he finally found the strength to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed. He yawned, scratched the back of his head and then tried to idly tame the few bangs that were sticking up into different directions.

“Shanks heard you and the guys coming back at four in the morning, stumbling and muffling your laughter.”

“Listen,” Zoro began as he scrubbed both hands over his face, then looked up at the piercing yellowish eyes looking back at him “I'm sorry we made Luffy drink, we won't do it again on a school night.”

With a sharp eyebrow quirked up and burgundy silk clad arms folded against his broad chest, Mihawk tilted his head, his expression not changing much from his usual frown “You better.”

Zoro furrowed his brows when Mihawk didn't budge, he thought he would have left the room right after scolding him but when he acted like that there was always something more, something he wanted to say but he obviously couldn't. He wasn't really worried about Luffy, the kid was probably just an excuse, so Zoro sucked in a deep breath and nodded “I'm fine.”

A crease formed between Mihawk's eyebrows and he looked like he had just been informed that the earth wasn't round “I know?”

Zoro failed to bite back a tiny smirk “Good.”

Finally Mihawk made his dramatic exit, so theatrical that had he been wearing a cape Zoro would have probably heard it swoosh on his way out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Zoro showered and dressed as quickly as he could, hoping to God that he finally had the house only to himself once he'd left the bathroom. He rushed downstairs, nearly missing a step and flying face first on the marble, his head was still torturing him so he was planning on popping a couple aspirins on the way out, but he wasn't as alone as he thought.  
  
"Well, good morning!" the red haired man standing by the counter smiled at him from over his coffee mug.  
  
"Hey Shanks," Zoro cursed mentally and dropped his sports bag on the floor only to search the drugs drawer.  
  
"The pills you're looking for are right next to your bowl of cereals and anti-hangover shake," Shanks sipped his coffee with such a proud look on his face.  
  
Zoro knew that Shanks loved being a father, acting protective and cool, always looking out for his kids, even Zoro who was his stepson, but sometimes he was just too much, especially when he radiated vitality and happiness at 9:40 in the morning and Zoro just wanted to dig his own grave.  
  
Zoro glared down at the empty bowl, the milk jug, the bag of cereals, and a glass filled with a nasty looking substance. He picked up both aspirins and bravely decided to swallow them down dry.  
  
"You dumbass, you're gonna suffocate! Drink something at least!" Shanks chastised him with a frown and a huff.  
  
"You know I prefer tea, and like hell I'm drinking your hangover remedy shit! It tastes like ass!" Zoro growled as he shouldered his bag, ready to leave.  
  
"It'll help you!" Shanks insisted "Besides it does not taste like ass, it's quite nice!" he continued with a more hushed tone.  
  
Zoro shrugged "It's nice to people who like eating ass."  
  
"Zoro!" Shanks cried out as the young man made his way out of the kitchen, then Zoro heard him speak again once he'd opened the front door "You'd definitely like it then!"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes at first, then shook his head and left the house sniggering under his breath.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
Even though the band's goal was to make music for a living, until the day in which they'd get a contract they all had to either go to college (like Nami, Luffy and Usopp) or work, using a few spare hours in the evening or night to practice and perform live.  
  
Zoro had two jobs, a morning part-time one as a personal trainer in a gym and in the afternoon he worked as a kendo instructor at Mihawk's dojo.

That morning Zoro was supposed to train one of his most annoying customers during the first two hours of work, and he really hoped he wouldn't give him too much grief for being horribly late.  
  
When he arrived at the gym Conis the receptionist gave him a worried look as he threw his badge at her to check in.  
  
"Are you alright? You look awful, are you sick?" she asked with her eyebrows drawn in concern while she checked him in for the morning and returned him the badge.  
  
Zoro was staring at her with furrowed brows all the while "I'm perfectly fine. I just woke up late, that's all!" he shrugged as he pinned his badge to his previously worn uniform.  
  
Conis nodded in understanding even if Zoro could tell she hadn't completely bought it, still he had no time for chatting so he rushed to the lockers. He quickly changed his shoes and turned the septum piercing upside down inside his nose to hide it. Once he'd reached the workout area he found his customer already lifting a few pounds on his own.  
  
Zoro sucked in a deep breath and stepped over to the bench "Hey, Paulie. Sorry I'm late, I just–" he was kind of glad that he didn't have to go through with his excuses, because Paulie dropped the barbell and sat up all of a sudden.  
  
"I had to keep myself busy or else I would have exploded!" Paulie barked and Zoro saw a few heads turn into their direction.  
  
"Shh, keep your voice down!" Zoro raised his hands in order to hush the flushing man sitting in front of him.  
  
"All those girls! Look at them!" Paulie went on, gesturing wildly around the room "Why do they have to dress like this? They're so provocative! They should cover up!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his broad, toned chest then jerked his head towards the couple young ladies running on the treadmill "Women are allowed to dress how they please, and they're only working out so–" he briefly pointed to the leg press "gimme three sets of thirty, same weight as usual."  
  
Paulie looked outraged for a few moments as he stared at Zoro with his mouth slightly hanging, then turned an even brighter shade of red and spun around to reach the leg press, leaving Zoro to mutter under his breath.  


 

* * *

 

  
  
Zoro's lunch-break arrived earlier than he realized, that's why Conis had to walk up to him and let him know that his friend had arrived with his food while Zoro was advising a girl on her weight training. Zoro excused himself and followed Conis to the reception where he found Sanji sitting on top of the desk with a shit eating grin on his face and a box in his lap.  
  
"Are you all sweaty and stinky, shitty Marimo?" Sanji asked as he chewed on a piece of gum, then looked at Conis "I always smell good." he winked at her.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes as he watched them giggle together, then slapped Sanji's knee "Get off the desk, idiot."  
  
Sanji glared at him "No need to get scrappy," he grunted as he held the box and slid off the desk.  
  
Zoro slipped on his hoodie and began to walk outside, hearing Sanji spill some cheesy nonsense to Conis as he followed him outside to their usual bench in the small gym courtyard.  
  
"You went drinking last night?" Sanji asked as he spat out the gum and lit himself a cigarette.  
  
"Yeah," Zoro shrugged as he opened the box with the food Sanji had prepared for him.

It was their special little ritual: since the gym was only a block away from the restaurant Sanji worked at, they'd spend their break together and Sanji would bring Zoro freshly made food.  
  
"Sabaody?" Sanji kept asking.  
  
"Nah," Zoro shook his head and stabbed a few macaroni with his fork "that place near Franky's shop," he said casually as he stuffed his mouth full.  
  
"Ah, yeah. I fucked one of the bartenders there... That guy... What's his name..."  
  
Zoro choked on his food and it threatened to shoot out of his nose, so Sanji promptly patted him on the back.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing? You can't even eat now?" Sanji huffed as he kept his hand between Zoro's shoulder blades.  
  
Zoro coughed and tried to clear his throat as much as he could and managed to croak out a "Fuck off!"  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "Well, try not to inhale your food again," he chastised Zoro, then took a deep drag of tobacco. "It's been a while since the last time I got drunk," Sanji sighed as he stared off into the distance and chewed distractedly on his thumbnail.  
  
Zoro snorted "Not really, you got wasted three nights ago and you kept saying you were afraid of going home because your old man could have killed you." he watched as Sanji's head snapped back in his direction.  
  
"Well, that's still a while," Sanji shrugged, taking another puff "Next time you go drinking I'll tag along."  
  
Zoro nodded as he chewed his food, not really answering. It really didn't make a difference if Sanji went out drinking with him and the rest of the guys or not, because the outcome would always be the same – Sanji would constantly find some arguably attractive guy who he hasn't fucked yet and he'd end his night at the person's place. Sometimes the guy would tell him that he could only have a quicky in the toilet or the backseat of his car, so in that case Sanji would come back to his friends reeking of sex and making Zoro's stomach twist uncomfortably more than usual.

"So last night I finally saw Lucci's house, he really is as rich as they say," Sanji started with a smug smirk as he lit up another cigarette.

Zoro still wondered how a chain smoker like Sanji could still sing the way he did.

"And he really does fuck like an animal!" Sanji wriggled his only visible eyebrow and sniggered.  
  
Zoro pulled a face "I don't give a shit about how he fucks!"  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrows "No but really, he had me pinned against this huge french door," he explained as he gestured for something larger than a normal window "I was completely naked, facing the street and he just–" he placed his hands at the same height as his hips and began to thrust them with his lower lip tucked between his teeth.  
  
Zoro groaned and threw the empty box at him "Stop being gross and just piss off back to work!"  
  
Sanji dodged the box just in time, then shot Zoro a deadly glare "Don't you dare ruining my work clothes."  
  
"Ruined or not they suck anyway." Zoro shrugged as he rose from the bench.  
  
"Fuck you! I cannot wear leather and studs at work!" Sanji chewed immediately (out of habit) on his lip in the exact same spot where his labret piercing usually was. He wasn't allowed to wear any piercings at the restaurant and needed to keep his roughly shoulder length hair in a ridiculous bun.  
  
Zoro smirked "Do you have to take off the tongue one too?"  
  
Sanji stuck out his tongue at him, revealing that he was still wearing that one at least "How could I? This thing drives guys insane!" he grinned and Zoro rolled his eyes "What about you?"  
  
Zoro showed him his pierced tongue and a pleased expression painted Sanji's features. They had got matching tongue piercings when they were sixteen because they wanted to be absolutely badass, and had regretted the couple of weeks of eating only cold and soft food.  
  
"Too bad you don't pleasure anyone with that, it's gonna go rusty. Like your dick!" Sanji clicked his tongue and Zoro kicked him in the shin "Ow! You fucker!" he pulled a face and returned the kick that Zoro had been definitely lucky to dodge.  
  
"Go back to work. I gotta go too." Zoro stuffed his hands inside his pockets and walked backwards towards the door of the gym.  
  
"You're an asshole!" Sanji growled as he got off the bench and picked up the empty box from the ground.  
  
"Right back at you!" Zoro turned around and entered the gym, raising a hand in goodbye as he prepared himself for another hour at the gym before going to the dojo.

He could still hear Sanji's poorly muffled insults, but he chose to ignore them, and he had just got back to the workout area when his phone buzzed with a text.  
  
 _'dont forget practice tonight, you shitty marimo head'_  
  
Zoro smirked down at Sanji's text and quickly replied:  
  
 _'im not as dumb as you, shitty cook'_  
  
He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and politely greeted the girl who was approaching him for the next training session.

 

* * *

 

 

From the moment in which Murder Of Crows had made it into the underground scene of their city the band had started practicing every day (when possible) in Franky's garage.

Franky himself had turned the garage into a proper soundproof room and equipped it with everything the band needed: amplifiers, microphones, mic stands, spare instruments, a Mac they could use to edit their recorded tracks, and a fridge always stocked with beer, water and sodas. It was their little piece of heaven and it made them feel like they were already famous.

When they all arrived at Franky's he had got pizza for everyone and Sanji was already complaining about seeing it in reverse if he dared eating and then singing, but no one was really listening to him as they shoved pizza slices into their mouths like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow.

"You guys are pigs," Sanji rolled his eyes as he took a drag of tobacco.

Zoro, who was sitting right next to Sanji, had to wave off the smoke that had been blown pretty much all over his face "You don't eat 'cause you've gotta sing, yet you sit here smoking like a fucking chimney." he grunted as he took a bite from off his slice.

Sanji cocked an eyebrow, carelessly flicking ashes all over the floor "Do you have a problem with my smoking?" he asked in a challenging tone.

"As usual." Zoro replied without looking at him.

"Better throwing up pizza than one of your rotten lungs," Luffy suddenly cut in with his mouth full of food, making everyone cry out in disgust.

"You're fucking gross!" Nami groaned as she slapped Luffy on the back of the head.

"My lungs are far from being rotten, thank you very much!" Sanji barked as he nonchalantly threw a leg over Zoro's lap.

"Yeah right, and I'm the queen of England." Zoro muttered as he looked down at Sanji's leg. He never knew whether he should complain about how often Sanji deliberately forgot about the existence of personal space when they were one next to the other or not.

Everyone snorted or sniggered and Sanji moved his hand towards Zoro's forehead to tug on a strand of wet, green hair “The queen of England would never dye his hair green, and she would definitely dry her hair before going out.”

Zoro slapped Sanji's hand away “Well sorry _dad_ , I was in a hurry.”

“When you two doves are done cooing,” Nami started, shooting Zoro and Sanji a glare “I'd really like to know where the hell is Brook. How come he isn't here? He was supposed to play the violin with us, tonight!” she asked as she cleaned her hands with a tissue.

Zoro just sighed and pushed Sanji's leg off his lap to stand up and get a can of beer that he perfectly knew Sanji would have sipped on, then returned to his seat to drink in silence.

“He's stuck working at home, he's preparing an exam for his conservatory students or something.” Franky nodded as he finished off his can of coke.

“Wouldn't wanna be his student, man.” Ace commented with his eyebrows raised.

“He loves to scare them _so_ much, I wouldn't wanna sign up for that either.” Usopp added as he took a bite off his third slice of pizza.

“Can we start practicing, already?” Sanji whined as he snatched Zoro's beer, spilling lager all over him.

“Shithead! Couldn't you just wait for me to actually swallow?” Zoro snarled as he looked down at the wet patch on the front of his shirt and on his lap.

“'Course not,” Sanji hummed into the can. Zoro was ready to punch him right there and then, but someone always had the decency to stop them from jumping at each other's throat.

“Alright! Don't start fighting or I'll have to kill both of you!” Nami growled as she stood up and tied her hair back into a ponytail “Let's do this,” she nodded and took place behind the double keyboard.

Most of the times it looked like Nami was the true leader of that bunch of scalawags.

Zoro glared at Sanji one last time receiving another deadly glare in return, then stood up to sit at the drum kit. Had they been alone Zoro was sure that it would have ended in bruises and blood, but they were all there to practice and so it wasn't time to throw punches and kicks.

Everyone got to their positions, while Franky and Usopp got comfortable in their seats to enjoy the show once again, never really able to get tired of the talent of their friends.

They had decided to add a few covers of their favorite songs to update and change their set list a bit while they worked on writing and composing new original songs, so the song they had practiced the most during the evening was Nightwish's Storytime. Sanji and Nami had come up with a nice vocal arrangement that fit Sanji's voice range perfectly, while Nami's backup vocals reminded a bit more of Anette Olzon, and Zoro and Ace had worked on adjusting the music to their needs.  
  
"Are you gonna wear a skirt and a corset to sing this one?" Ace teased as Sanji was scribbling on his lyrics sheet.  
  
"You never know, I'm always full of surprises," Sanji shrugged, not lifting his eyes from his paper as he spoke.  
  
Zoro did his best not to let out any strangled sound but his cheekbones had definitely pinked up, because Ace was staring at him like he was about to burst out laughing. The last thing Zoro needed as a distraction was Sanji cross-dressing, damn him and that other bastard of a step-brother he had.  
  
"Are we gonna go drinking?" Luffy asked with a grin that threatened to split his face in two.  
  
"Why are you so eager to become an alcoholic just like your moss-brain brother?" Sanji asked as he put his things into his messenger bag with methodical precision.  
  
"I'm not an alcoholic, you bastard!" Zoro snarled as he threw his drumsticks into his bag.  
  
"That's right, you're a saint." Sanji smirked as he shouldered his bag on, ignoring Zoro's glare.  
  
"So are we going or not?" Luffy whined, pouting as he realized that no one was paying much attention to him.  
  
"I'm going to Vivi's, so count me out." Nami announced casually as she untied her hair and combed her long fingers through it.  
  
Zoro frowned over to her, but before he had a chance to open his mouth Sanji was already speaking.  
  
"Who the _fuck_ is Vivi?"  
  
"She's the girl you hooked up with last night, isn't she?" Franky smirked knowingly at the girl, but Nami shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.  
  
"Yeah, it's her."  
  
Right, the blue haired girl from the bar, the one she dragged into the toilet, Zoro knew he couldn't remember her name. That was a first though, to see Nami seemingly interested in someone so much to see them a second time.

Zoro couldn't help but look over to Sanji who looked somewhat shocked by the news. There was no denying that Sanji preferred men over women, but Nami had been the last of Sanji's girl crushes, and maybe he didn't know how to deal with that. But really, in the end Zoro had pretty much no idea about what was really going on in Sanji's mind most of the time.

"She's still gonna pay to see us live." Sanji warned as he lit up a cigarette.  
  
Nami scowled at him "What are you implying?"  
  
"Just 'cause you two are fucking it doesn't mean that she can watch us perform for free." Sanji rolled his eyes as if he found it extremely irritating that he had to explain himself.  
  
Zoro was glad that since the second year of high school Sanji had stopped screaming, drooling, jumping and all in all embarrassing himself in front of girls, but what he had just said was just too much, too unlike him and Zoro was pretty sure he wasn't the only one confused there.  
  
"Of course she's gonna pay her ticket! We're not married, you idiot!" Nami looked ready to kick Sanji's ass, but all she did was shrug on her coat and leave without a word.  
  
"What... What just happened here?" Usopp blinked, clearly not believing what he had just witnessed.  
  
"She just... Left?" Luffy cut in with the same bewildered expression.  
  
"Without punching his face in?" Franky finished their list of questions.  
  
"Can we fucking go?" Sanji groaned as he put out his cigarette on the floor with the heel of his boot.  
  
"Are you done dropping cigarettes all over my garage?!" Franky yelled all of a sudden.  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Sanji cried out in exasperation as he left the garage, too.  
  
Everyone was left behind frozen, unable to speak again or move outside, and Zoro definitely didn't need Ace's eloquent look to know that he had to speak to Sanji. It wasn't the exact moment to do it though, it was better to let Sanji cool down a bit before trying to put some sense into his stupid skull.  


  
–  


  
The car ride was far from quiet, since there was just no way to make Luffy, Usopp and Franky shut up, not even when it was more than needed, but maybe it was better off that way, too much silence would have ticked Sanji off even more.  
  
Zoro was sat right next to the blond and his leg was pressed flush against Sanji's in the limited space of Franky's backseat, which was rare since Sanji loved to get at least a limb over Zoro. Sanji's brow was pressed against the window and Zoro couldn't tell if he had his eyes open or not.  
  
That was weird. Well actually everything Sanji had been doing the past few minutes had been odd and Zoro wasn't exactly sure why, though one thing he was sure of... There was going to be more room in Franky's car on the ride home.

When they arrived to Sabaody, Franky, Usopp, Luffy and Ace launched themselves at the counter, showering Shakky in greetings and compliments before ordering a drink. Sanji was just about to go over there himself but Zoro placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him backwards.  
  
"What do you want, bastard?" Sanji growled through gritted teeth, looking back at Zoro from over his shoulder.  
  
"We need to talk," Zoro began, his voice was low but firm.  
  
"We don't," Sanji bat Zoro's hand off his shoulder, but Zoro promptly grabbed his wrist instead "leave me the fuck alone!" Sanji tried to wriggle away but he couldn't.  
  
"You've acted like a dick with Nami," Zoro cocked his head slightly "that's not you. Why did you do that?"  
  
Sanji's eyes widened and his cheeks suddenly flushed red "That's none of your damn business!"  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow "It actually is, yes. Especially when it concerns my friends and it could affect the band."  
  
When the word _band_ was uttered Sanji visibly stiffened and his gaze dropped to the floor. That's when Zoro knew that he could let go of his wrist without having to run after him through the entire club.  
  
"Listen, I know you're too fucking stubborn to tell me why you treated her like shit, but you gotta apologize to her, Sanji." Zoro folded his arms over his chest, adamant.

He wanted to know what had gotten into Sanji more than anything else, but he knew his pride, he knew how he didn't like to talk feelings (about as much as Zoro didn't like to get sentimental, no matter what) and he wasn't going to tear a confession from him, but the last thing he wanted was to lose Nami because of his stupid, childish behavior.  
  
Sanji was still staring at the floor, clearly unable to hold Zoro's gaze and ashamed for what he'd done. Sanji used to be different from how he was nowadays and Zoro kind of missed it. If Sanji were to lose his respect and adoration for women, then what else would happen? Maybe he'd stop pestering everyone while trying to get them to eat healthy? Stop cooking... Stop _singing_? No, Zoro wasn't going to allow that.  
  
"Oi, are you listening to me?" Zoro chucked him under the chin, his fingers grazing Sanji's goatee in the process.  
  
"I _am_ listening, you moron!" Sanji snapped as he finally glared up at Zoro.  
  
"You gonna apologize?" Zoro repeated. He needed to be sure.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Sanji muttered as he stared off at nothing in particular, just to avoid looking at Zoro again.  
  
"Call her. _Now_."  
  
Sanji looked up at Zoro like he was the most stupid person he'd ever met (even though he thought that very often) "Right, while she's banging her girl!" he shook his head and fumbled with his pocket to pull out a cigarette and his lighter.  
  
Zoro threw his head back "Just do it, for fuck's sake!" he groaned exasperated.  
  
"Climb out of my ass, Marimo!" Sanji nearly yelled in return, and Zoro was sure that he was just going to cover him in insults and walk away "I'll do it!"  
  
"Why can't y–!" Zoro stopped mid-sentence as he processed what he'd just heard "Wait, you will?" he furrowed his brows, puzzled.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes and pulled out his cellphone "Yeah, but _not_ 'cause _you_ asked," he muttered as he searched for Nami's number through his contact list.  
  
Zoro blinked "'Course not..." he licked his chapped lips, watching as Sanji brought the phone to his ear and waited.  
  
"Hey, Nami... Hi," Sanji looked briefly at Zoro, then down at his boots "no, no! Don't hang up, please! I just... Wanted to..." he lowered his voice and turned his back on Zoro, walking somewhere more private to finish his conversation.  
  
Zoro let out a relieved sigh as he followed Sanji with his gaze, seeing him flailing his free hand as he spoke a bit more animatedly. Well at least he could still speak some sense into that blond head of his, that was something.  
  
Zoro walked up to the counter and ordered plain vodka just to start out the night, losing sight of Sanji on purpose and trying to keep himself busy speaking to his friends until everyone decided to hit the dance floor. It was then that Zoro saw Sanji again all smiles and flirtatious attitude as he ground against a random dude. Zoro had the sudden impulse to crash the glass he was holding in his hand, but a familiar voice made him snap out of his thoughts.  
  
"He has quite the effect on men, eh?"  
  
Zoro turned to see an old man laugh beside him. It was Rayleigh, the owner of the club, he wasn't always around but he really liked Zoro and the others, so he often spoke to them.  
  
"Yeah," Zoro grunted and decided it was best to just set the glass on the counter "he's become some sort of a men's magnet ever since high school," he shrugged as if it didn't matter as much as it actually did.  
  
"Well you must be the manliest of them all, then."  
  
Zoro quirked up an eyebrow, quizzically.  
  
"You're the one he has the greatest effect on!" Rayleigh patted Zoro's shoulder and sneaked off.  
  
"For fuck's sake!" Zoro groaned and facepalmed so hard that he probably left a mark on his own face.  


 

**To Be Continued...  
**  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Nightwish - Storytime](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAagiSp_5Mc) 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a teeny tiny sexual content, nothing too graphic really.

After the infamous night when Sanji snapped at Nami for apparently no solid reason, Sanji had apologized profusely for at least two or three days, baking all kinds of cupcakes, muffins and cookies for her and for Vivi as well, sending her flowers every morning with a stupid poem attached to the bunch and just being incredibly stupid and pathetically sappy during band practice.  
  
The world was back at peace, or so it seemed, and Zoro could definitely see that Sanji seemed to be back to his regular self – even though the singer didn't appreciate it much when Nami brought Vivi to practice once and Zoro had to do his best to convince Sanji not to make a scene again.  
  
Things were good, Murder Of Crows had three show scheduled, two during the weekend and one was set for the week after on a Wednesday. They could have definitely done without another concert in the middle of the week, but the offer of a gig could never be turned down, so they sucked it up and went with the flow.  
  
The fans appreciated the new set list, they had liked the four covers they had come up with, even the most unexpected one, an IAMX song that Sanji sang only accompanied by Nami's keyboards and Zoro's drums that goes by the title of _I'm terrified_ – it wasn't exactly Murder Of Crows style, far from it, still they had made it theirs, made it believable and people had liked it.  
  
Duval, Bartolomeo, Hancock and Perona were present to all three shows, congratulating the band on their incredible choices and beautiful performances, and on Wednesday night, after the concert, they all got invited to drink with the band, even Perona who wouldn't stop shrieking into Zoro's ears and Hancock who was all over Luffy who thoroughly ignored her.  
  
After such a busy week, on a Friday night Zoro, Ace and Luffy decided to be so hardcore that they stayed home for a Breaking Bad rewatch marathon eating pizza and drinking beer on the couch, despite Shanks' protests.  
  
When the food was finally over, they were well into episode four of the first season, and Ace and Zoro were sitting sprawled on the couch while Luffy was lying down on it with his head in Zoro's lap, the doorbell rang.  
  
"Dude! Are they serious?" Ace growled as he glared at the front door, visibly outraged that someone dared interrupting their fun.  
  
Mihawk and Shanks, who were playing chess after their seafood dinner, lifted their eyes from the chessboard to glance from the door to the boys.  
  
"Who could it be now?" Shanks frowned as he pushed back the chair in order to stand up.  
  
"Was any of you expecting someone?" Mihawk asked with an impassible expression and a monotone.  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "We didn't invite anyone over," he replied as he turned to look at Ace for confirmation.  
  
"Yeah, we didn't." Ace shook his head.  
  
"I'll get it!" Luffy shouted as he sprung to his feet and sprinted towards the front door before his father could even move.  
  
"Pause it." Zoro sighed and Ace grabbed the remote to pause the DVD player, leaving Walter White frozen with his mouth hanging open as usual.  
  
They heard the door being opened and everyone moaned and grunted about how Luffy always forgot to ask who it was first. There was a muffled chattering, then Luffy cried out in joy before marching back into the living room.  
  
"Tada! Look what the cat brought in!" Luffy sniggered as Sanji stepped into the living room beside him with a backpack hanging from his shoulder.  
  
"Hey there!" Sanji greeted with a smile and a raised hand "I was hoping I could maybe stay the night?"  
  
Zoro's heart skipped a beat and his brain didn't quite process everything when it should have. It wasn't exactly the first time Sanji asked to spend the night, since they had basically known each other all their lives, still Zoro wasn't expecting to see him there, not with that tired and somehow bashful look on his face.  
  
"Ah, Zoro's boyfriend is here!" Shanks teased and Zoro hoped to whatever deity that he wouldn't turn red as a damn pepper, while his brothers sniggered mercilessly.  
  
Mihawk sighed, clearly used to that kind of situation "You either sleep on the couch or in Zoro's bed," then he turned to Zoro "unless you take the couch and give him your bed."  
  
By then, Zoro was sure that he had been a murderer or some other sort of horrible criminal in his past life to deserve all of that.  
  
"Like fuck I'm giving him my bed!" Zoro barked out as he folded his arms and glared at a random spot to his side.  
  
"We can sleep in the same bed," Sanji said simply, and Zoro saw him shrug as he lifted his eyes on him again "we've slept together before, it's not a problem."  
  
Ace let out a snort of laughter and Zoro couldn't help but elbow him in the ribs.  
  
Mihawk seemed pleased with the answer, but Luffy was sulking right next to Sanji.  
  
"Why don't you sleep with me? You've never done that!" Luffy whined as he hung his head.  
  
"I'm not sleeping with a trout," Sanji huffed "a trout who kicks like a donkey, too." he rolled his eyes ignoring Luffy's complaints and strutted over to the couch, dropping his backpack before plopping down on the spot next to Zoro. "My feet are killing me." he sighed as he kicked both legs over Zoro's lap.  
  
"That was my spot!" Luffy cried.  
  
"Well now your spot is on the floor!" Sanji snarled.  
  
"Have you come here to disrupt our peace and quiet?" Zoro asked as he watched his little brother sit on the carpet.  
  
"That's my job," Sanji grinned, then looked over at the screen "You were rewatching Breaking Bad without me?!" he cried out in horror, then stared at Zoro "You're a horrible person!"  
  
In response to that, Zoro simply pushed Sanji's legs off his lap "Stay out of my territory."  
  
Ace and Luffy laughed like idiots, but Sanji only rolled his eyes and slung his legs back on Zoro's lap.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

  
The marathon went on until nearly 2 am, with the aid of caffeine and ice cream. Mihawk and Shanks had gone to bed not too late after Sanji's arrival, and the blond didn't fail to make a dirty comment about that, receiving a series of groans and a couple pillows thrown to his face in response, as he laughed his butt off.  
  
Zoro was quite concerned about Sanji sleeping in his bed, especially now that his raging, historical crush on him was at its climax, and especially when he saw him dragging himself out of the guest bathroom in a Sisters of Mercy shirt that was at least two sizes too big for him and a pair of tight black boxers that left very little to the imagination.  
  
"I'm going to bed, guys," Sanji announced to the boys still sitting on the couch before yawning into the back of his hand "come whenever you want, I doubt that you'll wake me." he said as he turned to Zoro.  
  
"Ah, he'll be coming soon, I'm sure!" Ace cut in with a shit eating grin that Zoro was going to take care of later.  
  
"Whatever," Sanji scratched the back of his head and stretched out his arms "'night, you jerks." and with his last line Sanji walked upstairs to Zoro's room.  
  
Zoro made sure to hear the door being shut, then slapped Ace over the chest with as much force as he could, leaving him out of breath and making Luffy jump in surprise.  
  
"The fuck is wrong with you?" Ace cried out as he held his chest "God!"  
  
"The fuck is wrong with _you_ , man!" Zoro growled as he glared at his brother "Stop dicking around like this, it's only funny to you!"  
  
Ace looked at him puzzled "What are you even talking about?"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "Tell me you're joking, or I'll knock your teeth out!"  
  
"Calm down, guys! C'mon!" Luffy sighed as he stood up "Let's just all go to bed!" he sighed as he rolled his eyes.

Some times Luffy was the most adult of them all.  
  
Ace stood up, still rubbing the sore spot on his chest "Touchy, much?"  
  
Zoro decided to ignore him and go upstairs before the others did. Deep inside he knew he was clearly overreacting, but this behavior seemed like it was never going to end and Zoro wasn't exactly sure that he could endure it. He loved his adoptive brother (well he loved both of them) like he were his own blood, but there had to be limits that he shouldn't cross.

Once he had arrived in front of his bedroom door he hesitated, with his hand on the doorknob, as he heaved a sigh and finally opened the door to step inside. He tried to be as quiet as he could not to wake Sanji up and took off his clothes, throwing them over a chair that was already overflowing with t-shirts and jeans.

“Mmhey...” came Sanji's sleepy voice from under the duvet, making Zoro jump slightly and whip his head around to look at him so quickly that he nearly snapped his neck.

“Fuck! You scared me!” Zoro grumbled as he walked up to the bed and climbed under the covers.

Sanji snickered and burrowed his head into the pillow “'Msorry...”

“I thought you were sleeping. Did I wake you?” Zoro asked, lying on his back as he stared up at the moonlit ceiling.

“No. Well kinda,” Sanji shrugged a shoulder “I wasn't properly sleeping yet.” he replied before yawning into the pillow.

“How come you...” Zoro didn't exactly know how to end his question. Did he want to be a snarky bastard or not? Either way Sanji let out a long breath and shut his eyes.

“Zeff kicked me out,” he began “for the night at least... He doesn't even want to see my face down at Baratie.”

“Shit,” Zoro frowned and turned his head to look at Sanji who had pulled the duvet over his nose. “What did you do to piss him off, this time?” he arched a sharp eyebrow.

Sanji rolled his eyes “He's pissed by default and you know it.” he brought his knees to his stomach and pressed both of them into Zoro's thigh “Same old, same old. I came back home hammered last night and apparently I threw up on the floor...”

Zoro bit both of his lips really hard not to laugh at his friend's misfortune, but both his shoulders and chest were already trembling so he just gave in to a throaty laugh that earned him a slap on the chest.

“You're a shitty friend, you know that?!” Sanji growled as he rolled on his other side.

“No! No, I'm sorry!” Zoro placed a hand on Sanji's shoulder and tugged on it to make him turn around again “It is funny though, c'mon! Did you puke right on his shoes?”

Sanji didn't move, but he did reply “No... I just barfed on the hallway floor and went to bed.”

Zoro laughed again, long and hard as he threw an arm over his eyes and the other held his stomach. He rarely laughed like that, and he really couldn't say he hated it.  
  
"Stop laughing, you bastard!" Sanji growled lowly, kicking Zoro's shin with his heel.  
  
Zoro felt the hit and it did hurt, because that damn idiot had an inhuman strength in his legs, but he didn't even flinch, instead he rubbed his eyes as his laughter died down and allowed him to breathe and clear his throat.  
  
"So why are you here?" Zoro finally asked "Couldn't you find someone to fuck and stay the night at theirs like you always do?"  
  
There was a brief moment of silence and a sigh so soft, yet exasperated, that was probably meant to be left unheard, then Sanji spoke "There was nobody interesting enough around, so I came here."  
  
Zoro was kind of expecting an answer like that, still it stung a bit making him frown in the penumbra "Thought so." he sighed as he let his limbs relax and his eyelids drop shut.  
  
Sanji turned in one sudden motion and threw an arm over Zoro's chest, pressing his nose softly against his shoulder and keeping his eyes shut.  
  
Zoro remained frozen. He hadn't seen that coming, especially not after that exchange, but Sanji was unpredictable and rarely readable, and Zoro couldn't really complain about having Sanji half curled around him.  
  
Silence fell upon the room, not awkward just relaxed, but Zoro couldn't sleep, not when Sanji's breath curiously matched his own, not when Sanji had chosen to spend the night in his best friend's bed instead of a stranger's after a fight with his father.

"You still haven't told me why you snapped at Nami, last week." Zoro tried, after nearly two minutes of deafening silence.  
  
Sanji groaned into Zoro's shoulder and singsonged " _Blame it on my A.D.D._ "  
  
Zoro huffed, rolling his eyes "Fuck off, I'm serious!" leave it to Sanji to find songs lyrics that fit every situation he was in.  
  
"I just did, okay?" Sanji sighed "No particular reason, you know how I get sometimes," he shrugged a shoulder "I just lost it."  
  
Zoro wasn't exactly buying it, because he knew perfectly that he would never snap at a girl just to throw a tantrum. Sanji definitely had a reason to act like that but of course he didn't want to talk about it.  
  
"Well you better control yourself more," Zoro humored him "next time Nami might kick your ugly face in."  
  
Sanji let out a fake laugh and absentmindedly started drawing random patterns on Zoro's skin, making him shiver slightly. Sanji liked to do that kind of things, his cuddliness used to bother Zoro at first but he'd learned to accept and like that particular side of him, it was endearing after all, and ever since Zoro had come to realize what his true feelings for Sanji were he couldn't really say he hated that.  
  
"Won't your boyfriends be jealous if I get all your cuddles for myself?" Zoro teased.  
  
Sanji snorted "What boyfriends? You know I don't do boyfriends," Zoro could just hear the eyeroll in those words "also, why would I cuddle any of them? All I need is between their legs." he scratched Zoro's skin softly "Plus you should know I'm not cuddling you, 'cause you're gross and I hate you."  
  
"Of course, I hate you too." Zoro shook his head and placed a hand on Sanji's shoulder, squeezing it softly.  
  
Sanji hummed and kept quiet for so long that Zoro thought he had fallen asleep, but then he came back to life with a sleepy voice.  
  
"Zeff says I'm a good for nothing shitty son," Sanji slurred out "he has a point? Besides singing for our band I'm not that useful. What would I be if I couldn't even sing?" the hand that lied flat on Zoro's chest balled into a fist as Sanji waited for an answer.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows at those words. Sanji was usually full of himself, at least that's what he wanted people to think of him, because it was so much easier to appear like that than to show his true colors – those that only Zoro had seen. Sanji only allowed Zoro to see him like that, and only when he really needed it.  
  
"Well... You're annoying, for starters." Zoro began.  
  
"Shithead," Sanji muttered as he hit his fist into Zoro's chest.  
  
"You're also a rude little shit." Zoro smirked, relishing Sanji's annoyed groans.  
  
"You're a useless moss-brain, you know that?"  
  
"I thought it was _you_ we were talking about." Zoro arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Nevermind," Sanji grumbled as he placed his hand flush on Zoro's pecs and let out a big sigh.  
  
Zoro sniggered quietly and only after a handful of seconds he went on speaking. "You're useful, you damn idiot. Without your voice you're still a cook, you can feed people."  
  
"Yeah, wow." Sanji said in a monotone.  
  
Zoro ignored Sanji's lack of enthusiasm and went on "You can fight. Not as well as I can, but..." he shrugged.  
  
"Shut up, I can kick your ass anytime!" Sanji yawned and hummed, getting more comfortable on the mattress.  
  
"And..." Zoro hesitated, because he wasn't the praising type and speaking nicely about people made him uncomfortable, especially if that person was Sanji. "Well, fuck it." he sighed "You've been my best friend since when we were like 6, so yeah... You matter, and you're definitely useful to me."  
  
Only saying those things made Zoro feel exhausted and he was actually waiting for Sanji to either laugh or insult him, or maybe both things at the same time, but he heard none of these, just a soft, nearly inaudible snore.  
  
"Oi... Did you hear me?" Zoro looked down at Sanji, not getting a response.  
  
The bastard was asleep. Of course he was asleep! Damn him! But that was probably for the best, so he hadn't heard jack of what Zoro had admitted. Yes, it had to be for the best.

Zoro had tried to ignore the extremely uncomfortable swelling at the front of his boxers the entire time that Sanji lounged half atop of him as they spoke, praying to the entire Norse Pantheon that the blond hadn't noticed. Well, Zoro was sure that if Sanji really had noticed he would have teased him to death, so maybe he was safe.  
  
Zoro gently peeled Sanji's limbs off his body, careful not to wake him up as he slid out from underneath him and climbed out of bed, watching as the blond squirmed and curled on himself.  
  
Once he was out of bed Zoro suddenly regretted the lack of warmth that Sanji's body radiated on his own, so he promised himself he was going to be quick. He just needed the bathroom and then he could sleep, nothing too hard about that... No pun intended.  
  
Zoro sneaked out of the room, controlling his strength as he shut the door without making excessive noises, then padded his way to the upstairs bathroom. He really thought (or rather hoped) that no one was still up by then, but apparently the odds were pretty much never in his favor.  
  
The door of the bathroom cracked open and a yawning, heavy lidded Ace dragged his half asleep limbs out of the room.  
  
"Shit." Zoro muttered under his breath.  
  
"Oh, hey there," Ace smiled sleepily "crowded place." he joked despite having his eyelids struggling with the rest of his body to stay open.  
  
"Looks like it." Zoro shrugged a shoulder and tried to squeeze by, but apparently Ace was in the mood for chatting in the dead of the night.  
  
"So how is it going with lover boy?" Ace gave a crooked grin as he rubbed one of his eyes.  
  
Zoro huffed "He's sleeping," he nodded in the direction of the bathroom "I need to piss, go back to bed."  
  
"That bad, huh?" Ace chuckled, hanging his head and as he did so he saw the world from a different prospective "Oh God..." he pointed at the bulge in Zoro's boxers.  
  
"Wha-?" Zoro asked annoyed, then his eyes dropped immediately on his temporarily forgotten erection "Fuck!" he cried out as he tried to cover himself "Leave me alone, you bastard!"  
  
Ace laughed and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder "You're not gonna find condoms there, I can lend you a couple if you want." he teased with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.  
  
Zoro shoved him aside with a growl as he stomped towards the bathroom.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Ace protested with a frown as he was roughly pushed aside, and Zoro turned to look at him "Since you don't wanna go there... Can I use my condoms with Sanji, then?"  
  
"Fuck you!" Zoro snarled as he shoved his brother so hard that he fell on his butt. Zoro threw the door shut and rested his forehead against it, breathing long and slow in order to calm down.  
  
It was the second time in a single night that Ace deliberately ticked him off and Zoro was starting to think that he had a death wish.  
  
Zoro looked down at his boxers and sighed, he wasn't rock hard as before, still he needed to take care of it before going back to bed.  
  
He shoved his hand down the shorts and grabbed himself, a soft, shuddering breath abandoned his lips as he thumbed at the tip. He didn't really have any time to waste, so he just tucked his lower lip between his teeth and stroke himself, brow pressed against the cold, wooden door and being as silent as he could.  
  
Zoro came hard and quick, biting back Sanji's name and cursing when he saw the mess he'd made. He took in a deep breath, cooling down before cleaning up and spraying his face with cold water, then he left the bathroom and went back to his room.

Crawling back into bed felt pretty much like heaven, even if the mattress was small and hard, having Sanji's smell all over the sheets made it ten times better. Zoro rolled on his side facing the other man, he couldn't help watching him sleep peacefully with the duvet curled tightly around him. Zoro sighed and let his eyelids drop shut, smirking slightly when he felt Sanji's leg move to settle over his own.

"Marimo..."

"Mh?" Zoro hummed in reply without opening his eyes.

"Don't you dare snoring, you bastard." Sanji muttered as he slid closer to Zoro.

"Shut your mouth and sleep, you idiot." Zoro replied with a huff as he threw an arm over Sanji's shoulders.

"You're heavy!" Sanji whined, not moving a single muscle under the weight of Zoro's arm.

"'Mnot, Zoro yawned "g'night."

"Night."

 

 

* * *

 

 

_The night was hot and sticky, and Zoro could smell blood. As he looked down he could see he was covered in it and the good thing was that it wasn't his own. He was leading an army that was just coming back from a battle in the dead of the night, his legs felt heavy and his arms were sore.  
  
When he approached the encampment many people cheered both he and his troops, he smirked proud and kept walking until he reached the biggest tent of the camp, guarded by two men armed with spears and shields. He was allowed to go inside, and as he walked past the threshold he heard screeching and a heavy flutter of big wings.  
  
In the middle of the tent, sitting on a big, high chair was Sanji with long silver hair and a white silk dress. Beside him were three dragons that reminded Zoro all too well of Luffy, Usopp and Franky.  
  
"Kha-" Zoro furrowed his brows as he thought his words through "Khaleesi?"  
  
Sanji arched a brow as he stroke the biggest dragon's head. "Oh, you've returned."  
  
Zoro nodded, a small hopeful smile curling his lips "It went just like you said it would, we attacked them and they yielded almost right away!"  
  
Sanji waved his hand in a dismissive manner "Good, good. But where is Ace?"  
  
Zoro's smile dropped from his face instantly, his hopes crushed and burnt as he saw Ace walking past him and getting down on one knee.  
  
"I'm here, my queen."  
  
The smile that appeared on Sanji's face was that of true happiness and it made Zoro's heart ache so much that he couldn't breathe. He dropped his helm as he vaguely saw Ace walking up to Sanji, and when the two kissed everything became a blur._  
  
Zoro jerked awake as if someone had poured a bucket of ice on him. He sat up panting, and pressed a hand on his chest where his heart still hurt slightly.  
  
"What the–" he muttered as he turned his head and found Sanji sleeping with his mouth open and his limbs sprawled all over the bed. Zoro scrubbed a hand over his face, then combed his fingers through his mohawk as something dawned on him "Jesus, I'm the Knight of the Friendzone." he cried as he lied back down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Both Zoro and Sanji had forgotten to roll down the shutter the night before, so in the morning a ray of sunshine woke Zoro up, making him groan and pull the covers over his head.  
  
"The shutter..." he growled with his eyes still closed as he rolled on his other side "You shithead, you didn't close it."  
  
When he didn't get an insult or a kick as a reply, Zoro finally realized that Sanji wasn't there. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. Sanji's backpack was still in a corner, at least he hadn't left the house.  
  
Zoro sat up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his wrist and yawning like a hippo. He couldn't believe that Sanji wouldn't sleep in on a Saturday, not even when he wasn't supposed to go to work.  
  
There was a sudden knock on the door and Zoro furrowed his eyebrows at it "Yeah?"  
  
The door opened and Ace poked his head inside "Morning, sunshine!" he smirked.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Does your face miss my fist or something?"  
  
"Yeah, so much!" Ace nodded towards the bed "Can I come in?"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow "No, not really. Why are you being creepy?"  
  
Ace huffed and rolled his eyes "I just want to apologize, c'mon!"  
  
Zoro frowned "Are you drunk?"  
  
Ace groaned and just entered the room, shutting the door behind him and sitting on the floor across from Zoro "I shouldn't make jokes when Sanji's present, nor pester you about him too much, I'm sorry."  
  
Zoro pressed his lips together and nodded "And you came to this conclusion all by yourself?"  
  
Ace ignored Zoro's reply and went on "Sanji's been in the kitchen since 6 a.m., I think? He made the biggest breakfast ever and Luffy is still downstairs eating it!" he laughed, shaking his head.  
  
That food freak seriously woke up at 5 in the morning when he could have slept at least 'til 7 or 8? Zoro didn't think it was normal, not even for Sanji. "And you're up here instead of pigging out in the kitchen?"  
  
"This should be enough to tell you what an amazing brother I am!" Ace grinned "So, how'd it go last night?"  
  
Zoro stared at him dead in the eye "You're kidding, right?"  
  
Ace threw his head back with a groan "Come on!"  
  
Zoro shook his head and stood up to put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt nearly stepping on Ace in the process "What do you think that happened? We spoke a bit and then we slept, that's all!" he growled as he pulled on the t-shirt.  
  
Ace sighed and rested back against the leg of the desk "You're a gentleman. Other guys would have jumped him, being in your shoes."  
  
Zoro shot him a glare "You better not be talking about yourself!"  
  
Ace's eyes grew wide and he immediately waved his hands in denial "No! No, no, no! Every time I imply something is just a joke!" he shrugged "Just to piss you off!"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow "And you do a damn good job at it." he scratched the back of his head as he thought, then let his arms fall back along his sides "I don't wanna be like the other guys... Even if he's an annoying asshole I respect him too much to do anything stupid."  
  
Ace nodded as he listened to him, then he cocked his head "And getting into his pants isn't exactly all you're aiming for." he smiled softly when Zoro didn't say anything, but a soft blush tinted his cheekbones.  
  
"You know what, you jerkoff?" Zoro suddenly spat as something came back to his mind "I had this dream in which Sanji was Daenerys Targaryen! He had dragons and shit... And you were fucking Daario Naharis and..." he paused, looking down at his bare feet "I was Ser Jorah."  
  
Ace stared up at his brother for what seemed like ages, then fell on his side as he laughed so hard that Zoro thought he was going to have a fit.  
  
Zoro cursed at himself mentally for telling him and shook his head as he watched Ace squirming and crying from laughter "Are you gonna stop dying or what?" he barked out in embarrassment.  
  
Ace didn't stop laughing but he did push himself up to his feet, and as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder he squeezed it "Ser Zorah, Knight Of The Friendzone!" he bursted once again and had to use Zoro as a support not to fall on his knees.  
  
"Fuck you, Ace!" Zoro growled as he pushed his brother aside and walked out of the room, leaving Ace to laugh on the floor like an idiot.

The moment in which Zoro was halfway down the stairs he was suddenly surrounded by the delicious smell of Sanji's food. 

How could he possibly think that he was a good for nothing when he could sing and cook the way he did? Zoro was aware of the fact that he never complimented him, but then again it wasn't in his nature.  
  
Once he arrived to the kitchen, Zoro lingered on the threshold, just to get a look of what that room looked like when Sanji was in control.  
  
Mihawk was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and occasionally sipping on his coffee, sitting across from him was Luffy who kept wolfing down every food within his reach. Shanks wasn't around, he was probably down at the dojo since Mihawk was still at home, being a lazy butt, and maybe Shanks was also a little jealous to have someone so much better than him taking care of his men's stomachs.  
  
Zoro couldn't help but smirk at that thought, and as he finally settled his eyes on Sanji he couldn't help but lean against the doorjamb and sigh. He was nearly elbows deep into the sink as he scrubbed pans and dishes, his long hair slipped from behind his ear and fell to cover half of his face, but his hands were wet and he obviously didn't want to get his hair soaked too.  
  
"Sanji, these are the best pancakes I ever ate!" Luffy cried with his mouth still full of bacon pancakes.  
  
Zoro saw Sanji's face light up and the hint of a smile curved his lips.  
  
"Of course, you're not used to eat healthy, nourishing food." Sanji replied in a monotone as he kept a cigarette between his lips.  
  
"Oh but Shanks tries," Mihawk commented as his eyes never left the newspaper "God, does he try." he sighed as he flipped the page "Son, are you done lurking from the door? It's rude."  
  
Zoro stiffened and widened his eyes, and at the same time Sanji and Luffy turned to stare at him.  
  
"Morning, Zoro! Come here, Sanji made bacon pancakes!" Luffy greeted him with a huge smile and a forkful of food in his hand.  
  
"Good morning, you lazy fuck." Sanji greeted without looking at him.  
  
Ah, nothing like Sanji's kindness to start out a great day. Zoro didn't answer to anyone and went to sit next to his brother who all but threw an arm around his neck and pressed a sloppy kiss to Zoro's cheek.  
  
"You snail! Quit drooling on me!" Zoro grunted, but failed to bite back a tiny smirk.  
  
"You like it, shut up." Luffy responded with a smile as he sneakingly tried to steal Mihawk's french toast.  
  
"Do it and you're gonna have to play bass with your feet." was the low threat that came from behind the newspaper, and Luffy gave up on his attempted theft.  
  
"Don't you ever feel full?" Sanji commented as he placed a plate of pancakes and a mug of tea right under Zoro's nose.  
  
Luffy snorted and tried to steal one of Zoro's pancakes in response, but Sanji was quicker to slap his hand away.  
  
"You've been eating since the moment you stepped in here, enough!" Sanji barked making Luffy flinch and Zoro roll his eyes.  
  
"Stop shouting, you're already giving me a headache!" Zoro growled as he threw one of his pancakes into Luffy's empty dish.  
  
"Thank you, Zoro! You're the best brother ever!" Luffy sniggered as he began to eat the pancake with his hands as if it were a cookie.  
  
"Why'd you do that?!" Sanji slapped Zoro on the back of his head.  
  
"I'm supposed to be the best brother! What's all this about?" Ace asked as he stepped into the kitchen with both hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.  
  
"God, is impossible to bear with you lot," Mihawk huffed as he slammed the newspaper on the table "and I hoped you'd get more quiet growing up, what was I thinking?" he stood up to leave the kitchen and not too long after they heard the front door slamming shut.  
  
The boys had remained there, frozen into the positions they had assumed when Mihawk raged out, their eyes widened in surprise.  
  
Ace was the one to break the ice "I bet he regrets this family like twice a day."  
  
"He only regrets having had to deal with Shanks' brats for all these years." Zoro commented as he finally started eating.  
  
"Hey!" Luffy and Ace cried in unison.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes and lit himself another cigarette "He's just sick of every single one of you," he exhaled some smoke in a thin line "and your friends."  
  
"I'm sure he loves all of us," Luffy cut in with a full mouth "he just needs some space, every once in a while." then he jerked his head in Zoro's direction "Like father like son."  
  
Ace sat on the empty chair across from Zoro and lifted his eyebrows "He has a point."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and Sanji snorted.  
  
"What's so funny?" Zoro asked, not even lifting his eyes to glare at Sanji.  
  
"You've been with Mihawk all your life, you really took after him," Sanji shrugged "even if he's your foster dad and you'll never admit it."  
  
Zoro threw his head back groaning "What's with the dad talk, now? Fuck off, already!"  
  
"See?" Sanji grinned "Just like Mihawk!"  
  
"And you're an ass just like Zeff!"  
  
"You shithead!"  
  
"No! No! If you break something Shanks will kill both of you!" Ace cried as Sanji knocked Zoro's chair back and they both ended up wrestling on the floor.  
  
"Breakfast with a show!" Luffy laughed, stuffing his mouth full as he watched Ace trying to break the fight.

 

**To Be Continued...**

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'll have to bump the rating up a bit because there's some mild sexual contents in here, still nothing too graphic but you never know. Enjoy!

Sanji ended up spending the entire weekend at Zoro's. Everyone was more than happy to enjoy the quality cooking they got in return for their hospitality. Yes, even Shanks, who didn't like having his kitchen and cooking duty stolen, in the end really appreciated what Sanji did.

Murder of Crows only practiced on Saturday night to get some well deserved rest from an intense and productive week, but the brothers called rain check on going out for drinks since they wanted to save some money.

Sanji wasn't happy about the decision. Being in the same room with Nami and Vivi for more than two hours, and for having ignored at least ten calls from Zeff stressed him out and all he wanted to do was getting wasted and fuck. Zoro had told him that he could have gone ahead without them, he would have also given him the keys to their house in case he wanted to be stay for long, and that was when Sanji decided that he could definitely do without a couple wild nights.

On Monday morning Sanji decided it was time to face Zeff (and no, not because Zoro had insisted he'd do it) so he shouldered his backpack, thanked Mihawk and Shanks for their hospitality a few too many times and left their house.

Even if he'd kept waking up at the ass crack off dawn like he was used to, Sanji felt somewhat regenerated, be it the homey environment he'd lived in for the past couple days, or just being with his friends, or probably having avoided to stay out all night. He was ready to go back to work, hell he needed to work or else he would have gone mad, waiting for practice that night all day long.

Sanji decided to take his sweet time walking in the crispy morning air, a hand firmly buried into the pocket of his leather jacket and the other brought up to his lips as he puffed on the third cigarette of the day. Or maybe it was the fourth? He couldn't tell.

The streets were already trafficked and a few bikes threatened to make him fall as they sped past him on the sidewalk, the sky was hazed by a few clouds and he really hoped it wasn't going to rain. He didn't particularly like rainy days, they made him moodier than he already was and that morning he wanted to be a bit serene at least.

Sanji stopped right outside the front door of the Baratie to admire the elegant wrought iron door and the sign he had helped his father paint when he was younger, then moved towards the door that was just a few meters away from the restaurant. He pulled out a bunch of keys from an inner pocket of his jacket and unlocked the door.

Sanji had lived with his father in a beautiful apartment right above the restaurant all his life. It was always tidy and clean, no matter the fact that the two men worked a lot and didn't spend much time at home – they wanted it to be as impeccable as their kitchen down at Baratie.

Sanji shut the door of the apartment behind his back. He contemplated whether he should just go to his room and get ready to wash the dirty clothes he had inside his backpack, or walk up to the kitchen where he was sure that Zeff was having breakfast.

Apparently he never had to make that choice, since Zeff called out for him as soon as the door clicked shut "Son, is that you?"

Sanji rolled his eyes "No, it's a burglar. I'm here to steal your ceramic knives." he announced as he decided to at least drop his backpack into his room before going to the kitchen.

"You'll have to tear them off my cold, dead hands." came Zeff's hoarse, sarcastic reply.

"Don't tempt me." Sanji sighed as he tied back his hair into a ponytail and finally went into the kitchen.

"Why didn't you return my calls, you stupid Eggplant. I thought you were dead." Zeff glared at him from above a steamy mug of coffee.

"If you really thought that you'd have called the cops." Sanji deadpanned as he poured some coffee for himself.

"I called Mihawk, that equals calling the cops."

Sanji almost dropped the cup as he turned around to stare at Zeff "You did what?!" he yelled out in a semitone higher than usual.

"I was worried! And you little shit wouldn't talk to me!" Zeff shrugged "What was I supposed to do?"

Sanji raised his eyebrows "Fucking nothing! You wanted me out of the house and I did! You should have been happy!"

Zeff shook his head "You're such an idiot."

Sanji gestured towards Zeff "I take after the best." he muttered as he focused on stirring his coffee. Suddenly a flying spoon hit Sanji in the forehead, making him squirm and glare at his father.

"I should have thrown the entire table at you but I'm having breakfast." Zeff explained calmly as he sunk his teeth into a croissant.

"Stupid Old Fart, you could have chipped the mug!" Sanji muttered before taking a sip of his warm coffee.

"I have an impeccable aim, I would have never hit the mug and you know it," Zeff went on and took a bite of croissant as he started checking the list of things that needed to be bought for the restaurant that day. "Have you been eating?" he asked as his eyes didn't leave the paper.

Sanji furrowed his eyebrows at that question "Uh, yeah?" he hitched himself up on the counter and placed both hands on the mug, relishing the heat radiating from it.

"Yeah. You got a better color than usual." Zeff wore his reading glasses and started editing the list here and there "You usually don't eat enough and drink too much."

Sanji snorted and rolled his eyes "That's bullshit!"

"It's true," Zeff raised his eyes from the paper to look at Sanji from over his glasses "and get your ass off the counter!"

Sanji ignored that last part and just kept sipping his coffee.

"You're an adult, Sanji. Quit being a fucking idiot and take some responsibilities." Zeff continued, his tone was harsh and made Sanji want to fling the mug at his face.

"I  _am_  a responsible adult," Sanji began as he set the mug down on the marble surface of the counter "what the fuck are you talking about?" he grimaced.

Zeff huffed and took off his glasses "I'm talking about the fact that you're supposed to be a sous-chef not a party animal, you damn Eggplant."

Sanji's jaw dropped slightly at those words "Are you saying I'm not doing my job right?" he asked as he pointed to himself "I bust my ass all day at the fucking restaurant, I'm a great cook! Don't you dare judging my skills as a chef by what I do outside of the workplace." he pushed himself off the counter.

"Watch it, young man," Zeff warned, lifting a threatening finger at him.

"What?" Sanji spread his arms, challenging "You wanna fire me? On what basis?" he cocked his head slightly "Being butthurt?"

"You little shit!" Zeff stood up so suddenly that he nearly knocked back the chair "You should be grateful for having a job and a roof above your stupid head! And if you do keep heading down this way I  _will_  fire you!"

Sanji listened to him with a hollow smirk tugging at his lips "Do you really think I'm gonna rot in this house? You think I'll work in that shitty restaurant for my entire existence?" by the end of the sentence he was practically yelling "I'll be a famous singer one day, and that day you'll be kissing my ass!" and with that last growl Sanji left both the kitchen and the house, ignoring the incoherent shouting coming from behind him.

After slamming the door shut behind him, Sanji lit himself a cigarette with shaky hands, his breath was itching in his chest from the anger that was still thrumming through his body.

Zeff had never been the most tender father ever, just like Sanji wasn't the easiest son, and Sanji knew his father cared about him but he had a pretty detestable way to show it. Maybe it was because they were too much alike, both so stubborn and proud, Sanji could still remember his mother laughing at their stubbornness and then bringing peace between them again. Had she still been alive things would be so much easier. Had she still been alive things would be so different – Sanji and Zeff themselves would probably be different.

Sanji rubbed at his forehead, trying to ease the headache that was threatening to start pounding in his head and let the nicotine have its calming effect on his body. He checked his phone, it was barely 10:30 and he already needed a drink. Sanji muttered a few curses and dragged himself to next door – at least he could take it out on his colleagues and the pieces of meat he was going to have to chop or tenderize.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The morning went painfully slow, between stupid arguments with his colleagues and restocking the pantry, and all Sanji could think was venting to Zoro during lunch break and going to practice that night. He was nervous and annoyed, so much that he could fill his skin itch – he needed a nicotine fix really bad.

"Oi, stupid assholes, I need a smoke. Don't burn the entire place down." Sanji growled as he moved to the backdoor of the restaurant. He ignored the insults that were thrown back at him and pulled his phone out of his pocket while he took the first drag of tobacco.

There was a text from Zoro.

_'how'd it go with the old geezer?'_

Sanji snorted and typed up his answer.

_'i wanna smash my head into a wall'_

He hit send and tipped his head back, exhaling the smoke and watching it coil up towards the sky. God he really needed to scream his lungs out into his microphone, drink half his weight in booze and get his brains fucked out, it was the only way to get his skin to stop itching like that.

_Buzz-buzz._

"Well that was fast." Sanji grumbled to himself as he checked his phone again.

_'that bad huh? i gotta train a dude in five minutes, guess you'll tell me more at lunch.'_

Sanji couldn't really help the small smile that curved his lips. Zoro was a fucking neanderthal most of the times, but Sanji's sanity depended on him more than he cared to admit.

_'you only think about your wallet and stomach. later, moss-brain.'_

Sanji stuffed his phone back into his pocket and took a deep drag of tobacco. He needed to think about what he could bring Zoro for lunch that day – maybe some rice, it was the Marimo's favorite food after all, maybe that Beef Pilau Rice recipe he'd been talking about with Patty a few days ago.

And as Sanji finished off his cigarette he kept flipping through the imaginary pages of the recipe book in his head, completely forgetting about the itch on his skin without even realizing it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sanji had dodged meeting his father at the restaurant as he sneaked out with Zoro's food from the backdoor, he didn't have the energy for another fight and he sure as hell didn't want to waste his time.

He arrived to the gym's backyard at the usual time, so he hopped on the bench, lit himself the umpteenth cigarette of the day and waited for Zoro to come out.

Sometimes when he sat there in that yard he remembered when he and Zoro were younger and reluctantly hung out in the elementary school courtyard.

Everyday it was always the same situation and no one seemed to notice or care enough to change it. A group of bullies would come over and make fun of both of them: Zoro for being an orphan adopted by his godfather, moody and weird, unable to speak with anyone other than Sanji; and then they'd push Sanji around, telling him that he looked like a girl, that Zoro was his boyfriend and that he probably looked like a girl because he was such a mommy's boy.

Those were memories he wanted to erase permanently from his brain. Sanji had been bullied through all his childhood, unconditionally hated by pretty much everyone except for that weird moss head who stuck with him through thick and thin for so many years, and fuck him if Sanji knew how and why all of that happened.

"Oi, is it a stroke?"

Zoro's hoarse voice brought Sanji back to reality, making him realize that he had spaced out for longer than he thought, especially when he realized that his cigarette had turned into nothing but a small pile of ashes on the concrete ground.

"What?" Sanji asked scrunching his face as he looked up at Zoro.

The Marimo arched up an eyebrow "I thought you died or something, you weren't answering." he shrugged a shoulder.

Sanji flicked away the burnt out end of his cigarette "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm more alive than you'll ever be!" he growled as he thrusted the box of food into Zoro's hands.

"What's this?" Zoro asked as he peeled off the top of the box.

"I shat inside a box!" Sanji groaned "It's food, what do you think it is? See it for yourself!"

Zoro stared at him for what felt like ages, then hit him in the head with the clean side of the box top "Calm down or you'll have a heart attack."

Sanji felt the urge to knee Zoro in the face but restrained from doing so "Get off my back, okay?" he fished a cigarette from the packet and brought it to his lips to light it up "Everyone's taken up residence there, apparently." he watched as Zoro frowned down at the rice and poked the meat with his fork "It isn't poisoned, you dumb shit."

Zoro didn't move his eyes from the food and stabbed a piece of meat with the fork, bringing it closer to his eyes to examine it "I wouldn't be so sure, you're the culinary Heisenberg." he ate it quietly, savoring it and trying to figure out what it was.

Sanji smirked as he watched him eat "Or I could be feeding you the flesh of my enemies."

Zoro's expression didn't change and he just shrugged a shoulder "Your enemies taste nice."

Sanji sniggered and took a deep drag of cigarette, letting it fill his lungs as he looked up at the clouds and the milky color of the sky. He exhaled the smoke in long drawn out sigh, then relaxed against the back of the bench.

"So, why did you want to smash your head into a wall?" Zoro asked, still focused on his food.

Sanji turned his head to look at him and took another puff of tobacco "He says I don't act like an adult enough, then threatened to kick me out of the house and fire me," he shook his head as he stared down at his feet "I don't even know, I stopped listening when he started shouting and telling me that I act like a kid."

Zoro didn't reply, didn't speak at all and just kept eating. Sanji looked over at him with a quirked eyebrow, expectantly.

"You gonna say something?"

"I don't think he really wants to kick you out or fire you," Zoro said suddenly, then dropped the fork inside the box and put the top back on it. "He just worries."

Sanji snorted "Right, nice way to worry." he shook his head and went back to stare ahead as he sucked on his cigarette. He felt Zoro stretch and crack his neck, then resting back against the bench.

"You get back home drunk almost every night and puke everywhere, of course he'll worry." there was a pause, not exactly brief, then Zoro went on "You don't get home at all for the night, and he'll worry. No matter what age are you."

Sanji stared at Zoro and the somewhat uneasy expression on his face with furrowed eyebrows. "Well I'm not a kid, he shouldn't worry. And he shouldn't stick his nose in what's none of his business."

Zoro sighed "He's a parent, it's his job to be nosy and annoying."

Sanji huffed and flicked the butt of his cigarette away "Whose side are you on?" he blew out the rest of the smoke through the side of his mouth "I thought you were my friend, not Zeff's."

"I am your friend, stupid Cook. I was just saying." Zoro explained as his face went back to the usual unreadable frown.

"Don't just say then!" Sanji replied, frustration audible in his high pitched tone "You get on my nerves just like my old man!" he growled and crossed one of his long legs over the other.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I fucked Ace." Sanji said casually as he pulled out his lighter and began to play with it.

Zoro's eyes turned the size of the moon as he stared at Sanji "You did what?!"

Sanji bit back a laugh and shrugged a shoulder "You wanted me to tell you something you didn't know."

"You fucked my brother?!" Zoro snarled. Sanji could see the vein in his neck enlarging and throbbing furiously under his skin.

"No, I didn't." Sanji paused for effect and added with a smirk "Yet."

Zoro threw the box at him "You damn asshole!"

Sanji's reflexes allowed him to catch the box just in time, then he sighed "You're such a drama queen! What do you care, even if I did? He's a grown man, I won't break his heart."

Zoro shook his head and muttered something under his breath before standing up. "I have to get back to work."

Sanji grimaced up at the other man "Oh, c'mon! Don't be an idiot!"

"I'll see you at Franky's tonight." and with those words Zoro turned on his heels and headed back inside the gym.

Sanji gritted his teeth as he watched Zoro leave, he didn't even know what other insults he could spit at him because he knew that they wouldn't affect him. God, why was the Marimo so damn cranky? It was just a joke! Sometimes it made him think that maybe Zoro nursed some kind of a crush for his brother or something like that.

Whatever it was made Sanji's stomach feel slightly sick and he was back to square one, where he just felt nervous and uneasy and wanted to tear the skin off of his body.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of his shift at Baratie was hell.

Sanji kept being pestered and made fun of by everyone, he did reply of course, still he felt like his skin wasn't thick enough to bear with it all, that day. Zeff entered the kitchen a couple times to check on everyone's work, Sanji avoided any kind of contact with his father and darted outside for a smoke more than usually. He just needed that day at work to be over.

When the shift ended Sanji left the kitchen without saying a word and sneaked out from the back door to get home and change into something more appropriate for the night, then with his hair untied, a pair of black ripped jeans, a black button down shirt, combat boots and black eyeshadow he was ready to meet the guys at Franky's.

Sanji was slightly early, probably because he had literally ran out of the restaurant like the place was on fire, but he didn't care. Once he arrived outside Franky's house he saw Zoro sitting alone outside on the steps, playing with his phone.

"Oi, you shitty hobo! Get off my friend's porch!" Sanji yelled out as he approached the other man.

Zoro raised his eyes from his phone, a murderous glint shone inside them until he realized who had just shouted at him "Asshole. I was already about to kick your ass."

Sanji snorted as he stopped in front of his friend "You wouldn't stand a chance." he buried his hands into his pockets and bent over until he could peek at Zoro's phone screen "What are you doing? Looking at naked boys?" he teased.

"Texting Luffy, he and Ace will be ten minutes late or something." Zoro pushed Sanji's head away "You're the one who watches porn, not me. So fuck off."

Sanji sniggered and sat down next to Zoro, making sure to lean completely into his side "Dude, if I wanna get off I fuck, I don't watch twinks going at it on a screen." he smirked, then hit Zoro's knee with his softly "How come your brothers are late?"

Sanji felt Zoro shrug "Ace was still working, apparently he's just finished repairing a dude's water heater."

Sanji raised his eyebrows "Sounds kinky." he chuckled and Zoro groaned "What? You jealous?"

Zoro turned to look at him with furrowed eyebrows "What are you even talking about?"

Sanji rolled his eyes "Are you jealous of Ace fixing some dude's water heater 'til this hour?" he explained in a monotone.

Zoro shook his head and looked at Sanji puzzled "Why the fuck would I? It's his job!"

Sanji waved his hand "Whatever, nevermind." then jumped slightly when a voice came from behind them all of a sudden.

"Are you two doves going to come in, or you wanna stay out here forever?"

Both Sanji and Zoro turned to look behind them and saw Nami resting against the doorjamb.

"Have you been lurking?" Zoro asked as he glared at her.

Nami shrugged "Why, was he sucking your dick?"

Zoro stiffened immediately and Sanji couldn't help but laugh, throwing his head back. "I probably should, he needs it." Sanji smirked and stood up to greet Nami with a kiss on her cheek.

Nami squeezed one eye shut when Sanji pressed his lips against her cheekbone, then nodded towards Zoro "He sure does."

"Are you two done?!" Zoro barked as he sprung to his feet.

"Nah, making fun of you is our favorite thing to do!" Nami winked at Zoro, then disappeared into the house.

Sanji shook his head sniggering as he watched Nami stepping into the house, then turned to look at Zoro "Let's go, Marimo."

Zoro turned around and sat back down on the stairs "No, I'll wait for Ace and Luffy."

Sanji frowned "Okay. Want me to keep you company?"

"No."

Sanji snorted, trying not to sound too disappointed with the answer "Fuck you, then." he spat before storming inside Franky's house and slamming the door shut.

Fuck the Marimo and his shitty attitude.

Inside the house Sanji was greeted by Franky and Brook, and a slightly intoxicated Usopp.

"Why is he drunk before we even start?" Sanji asked with an annoyed frown.

"He saw Kaya holding hands with some guy," Franky explained "you know how this little brother gets." he shrugged a shoulder.

Sanji groaned "Oh c'mon! Don't get like this for just one girl!" he stepped over to Usopp and snatched a can of beer from his hands "You'll find plenty more!"

Usopp looked at Sanji outraged and stole the beer back from him "I love her!"

Sanji's eyes darkened as he shook his head, then before he could open his mouth to tell Usopp what his exact thoughts were, there was a bang from the door being opened too violently and a loud cry of victory.

"Sorry for having kept you waiting!" Luffy yelled out, making everyone turn around.

"Yeah, my bad!" Ace raised a hand as he walked up to Franky followed by the ever so quiet Zoro.

"Work is work, no worries! Yohohoho!" Brook laughed, as cheerful as always "Shall we go, Franky?" he suggested with a nod towards the garage stairs.

"I'm  _super_  ready for some great music!" Franky threw a fist in the air, then looked at the others "If you guys are, too."

Luffy threw him the devil horns "My hands are itching really bad, I need to scratch them on my bass strings!"

And with the laughs that followed that exclamation they all gathered into the garage.

It was decided unanimously that they were going to add a second Nightwish song to the setlist, and they were probably going to record it too. The song was one of Sanji's personal favorites  _'Wish I had An Angel'_ , and it was going to have both Zoro and Ace on backup vocals – Brook, Franky and Usopp went absolutely nuts once they heard them play it for the first time, and Sanji already knew it was going to be a success.

"So, which one of you Superstars is coming out for a drink?" Franky asked as he looked at his friends all gathered into his living room, shrugging on their coats.

"Pass." Nami replied almost automatically as she wrapped a scarf around her neck.

Ace wiggled his tongue between his forefinger and middle finger, making a few others snigger.

"You jerk!" Nami growled as she punched his shoulder with all her strength.

Sanji shook his head as he put a cigarette between his lips "You can count me in." he said calmly as he lit up his cigarette and took a deep drag. When he felt the smoke scratching at the back of his throat he knew that he had definitely exaggerated during practice.

"I can't, I've got to wake up early." Brook frowned and hunched his shoulders, apologizing with his body language.

"We're coming!" Luffy gestured to he and his brothers with the biggest grin, and Usopp cried out in happiness as he jumped on Luffy's back.

"Alright, then. Let's go!" Franky nodded and waited for everyone to be outside to lock up his place.

Brook and Nami bid the guys goodnight, then Franky, Usopp and Luffy climbed into Franky's car while Ace, Zoro and Sanji rode into Ace's beat up Chevrolet.

"God, these leather seats must be a pain to wash if you get come on them, eh?" Sanji commented as he took place in the middle of the backseat.

Ace sniggered "Not really, if you know how to treat it."

Sanji smirked at the crooked grin that Ace shot him from the rear view mirror.

"You two always have the nicest conversations." Zoro muttered as he turned on the radio.

"Sorry if we don't just speak about steroids and chastity." Sanji replied with a cocked eyebrow.

Zoro turned in his seat and punched Sanji's knee.

"Fuck! You bastard!" Sanji kicked Zoro's elbow in return.

"I'll kill you! You shitty Cook!" Zoro growled as he caught Sanji's ankle.

"Guys, guys!" Ace cried out "Knock it off! Just let me drive, for fuck's sake!"

Both Sanji and Zoro stopped fighting, and after a last deadly glare Zoro rested back against his seat and Sanji slid behind Ace's, folding his arms over his chest as he puffed on the rest of his almost finished cigarette.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sabaody was the chosen destination and Sanji couldn't ask for a better place: the drinks were cheap but nice, the music was great and the dance floor was always crowded with good looking men.

Sanji climbed out of the car, unbuttoned an extra button on his shirt and looked at himself into the reflection of the car window. Some eyeshadow was smudged on his cheek, so he made sure to thumb it away.

"Are you done, Princess?" Zoro asked as he waited for him.

"Go to hell, Marimo." Sanji grunted as he straightened back up and hooked a finger around one of Zoro's belt loops "Stay close or you'll get lost." he added as him along and entered the club after Ace. Zoro grumbled under his breath but followed him with no objections.

Usopp, Franky and Luffy were already crammed up against the counter to try and order their drinks, so Sanji pinched Usopp's butt to get his attention.

"What the–" Usopp sneered as he turned around "Oh..." he blinked once he saw Sanji's grin. "They're here!" Usopp called out from over the music, patting on Franky's back.

The big, blue haired man turned to spot his friends and waved at them "We've already ordered, you can squeeze in and ask for yourselves!"

"Ah, thanks bro!" Ace smiled and pushed his way up to the counter.

"What do you want?" Sanji asked as he turned to look at Zoro.

"Uhh, a Corona and a Black Russian." Zoro shrugged a shoulder.

"Is it the cocktail you want or a big black, Russian stud?" Sanji asked.

Zoro groaned and rolled his eyes "Go ahead and order!"

Sanji sniggered and clapped a hand on Ace's shoulder "A Corona and a Black Russian for your brother, and a Long Island Iced Tea for me."

Ace furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back at Sanji "Even the drinks you order are gay as fuck."

"I'm extremely consistent with myself, y'know." Sanji wriggled his brows and palmed one of Ace's buttocks, making him gasp.

"You got a point." Ace gave a somewhat nervous laugh, then turned to Shakki to order their drinks.

Sanji snickered to himself and turned to look at Zoro "We can get away from all these sardines pressed together, your brother is getting our drinks."

Zoro nodded without saying a word and sneaked away from the people queuing up at the bar.

Sanji tried to do the same, bumping into a couple of girls in the process and exaggeratedly apologized for his clumsiness, but only after profusely praising the girls' beauty he left them be and walked up to Zoro.

"It's adorable how you still hit on girls even though you only fuck guys." Zoro commented once they'd reached a less packed spot of the club.

Sanji raised his eyebrows "Even though I dig guys I still find women the most beautiful and majestic creatures in all creation." he explained as a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

Zoro tilted his head slightly, not really answering but getting and respecting Sanji's words. After all, the fair sex had always been the bane of Sanji's life, it wasn't that hard to believe in his statement.

"I need a smoke," Sanji sighed all of a sudden "I'll see you in a bit."

"Uh... Alright." Zoro shrugged and watched as Sanji exited the club with a cigarette between his fingers.

Sanji really needed a smoke, but most of all he needed to find his fun for the night. He lit up the cigarette, taking a long and deep drag, then took a look around, scanning the people that were smoking or chatting outside.

There were a few people he knew, three or four guys he'd already been with, and then there was him: Cavendish, in his white shirt, big blond hair, shiny black leggins and cowboy boots.

Everyone knew Cavendish, he was the lead singer of a local glam rock band, a pretty famous one, they were already touring outside of the city and the underground scene loved them. Sanji wasn't a big fan of them, but he sure as hell dug Cavendish and his gorgeous androgynous look.

Sanji bit his bottom lip, smirking to himself as he decided that he couldn't find a better company for the night, not even if he tried. He carded his fingers through his hair in an absentminded attempt to fix his appearance and boost his confidence, then walked up to the guy.

The young man was struggling with his own lighter as he spoke to a couple of girls (Sanji could tell they were fans just by the way they were adoringly staring at him), and it was then that Sanji whipped out his own zippo lighter and flicked it, extending his arm so that it was near Cavendish's cigarette.

Cavendish raised an eyebrow and cupped a hand behind the small flame, then leaned in to light up his cigarette "Thanks man." he nodded as he reared back.

"No problem." Sanji shrugged, then looked at the girls staring at him (or maybe they were glaring?) "Sorry I interrupted your conversation, it was extremely rude of me." Sanji bowed his head and took a step back.

"I know you." Cavendish cut in before Sanji could leave "You're Murder of Crow's singer, right?"

Sanji cocked his head "That would be me, yeah."

Cavendish's lips stretched into a smirk "You're more handsome than I remembered."

Sanji sniggered before taking a puff of tobacco "Well, you must have seen me in a poorly lit room, then."

Cavendish nodded "That's very possible." he licked his lips, then took a drag of smoke "Can I offer you a drink? You know..." he held up his cigarette, meaning that he wanted to do something in return for the light.

Sanji waved his hand "No, thank you." he jerked his thumb in the direction of the door of the club "My friends are already getting me one, and well–" he gestured at the girls "you're quite busy."

Cavendish frowned "Well they were just bidding me goodnight," then he tilted his head "and the drink I was talking about..." he scrunched his nose "I meant to offer it to you at my place."

The girls turned a soft shade of red and in their visible discomfort decided to quietly leave the two men alone.

"Is that so?" Sanji's smirk turned into a grin right after blowing out some smoke through the corner of his lips.

"It is." Cavendish pressed his lips together and nodded slowly.

"Oi, Cook!" Zoro's voice thundered from the front door "Our drinks!"

Sanji turned around to look at Zoro and raised his hand "Comin'!"

"Oh, you've got Mr Broody already." Cavendish lifted an eyebrow "He's more interesting than I am, I take it?"

Sanji spun back to face Cavendish "Give me five minutes."

Cavendish grinned in pure satisfaction and went back to nurse his cigarette.

Sanji dropped his own cigarette on the concrete and stepped over it before jogging up to Zoro.

"C'mon." Zoro muttered as he moved to get back inside, but Sanji grabbed him by the elbow, making him stop.

"Look," he started as he fished a few notes out of his pockets "I'm not coming, sorry. Here's the money for my drink."

Zoro looked down at Sanji's money, then lifted his gaze over the blond's shoulder. His eyes suddenly darkened and his expression became stern, almost icy.

"Bye, then." Zoro didn't take the money, he just turned on his heels and disappeared inside the club leaving Sanji dumbfounded and unable to speak back.

"You coming, then?" Cavendish asked as he'd quietly approached Sanji.

"Uh... Yeah. Yeah, sure."

Sanji hated it when he couldn't get back at Zoro, couldn't stand it when Zoro became so unreadable and cold that Sanji couldn't even insult him. It was nearly frighting and painful, it was way better to fight.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It turned out that Cavendish's place wasn't that far away from Sabaody, still he preferred to drive his white Audi back home.

Sanji wasn't quite that accustomed to riding inside expensive cars, he'd been in a couple SUVs but that was it. He knew that Cavendish was a spoiled little shit, his parents being the owners of a five stars hotel downtown  _'The Royalty'_  and that was exactly how he'd earned the nickname  _'Prince'_.

When they arrived to Cavendish's attic, Sanji realized that Lucci's wealth was nothing compared to the luxury surrounding Cavendish's life. The guy wasn't forced to work for a living while waiting for his band to become big, the attic they were in was Cavendish's only, he lived there by himself and didn't have to pay a cent for it.

The house was filled with the best modern design furniture one could ask and supplied with all the latest technology on the market. There were posters of Cavendish and his band on at least every wall and Sanji felt incredibly small in that place. It wasn't exactly like he and Zeff weren't doing well, the Baratie was a pretty famous restaurant after all, but it was very different from owning an inherited hotel.

"About that drink..." Cavendish started as he sauntered towards his own small, private bar "What would you like?"

It took Sanji a few moments to register the question, and when he finally did he blurted out a couple words "Uh, Martini Dry."

Cavendish placed two cocktail glasses on the small counter and mixed gin and vermouth dry in both of them. Sanji wasn't sure Cavendish knew the exact doses for the cocktail, but at least he knew what to pour together in the stemmed glass.

Sanji grabbed the glass by the stem and twirled the alcohol around, staring down at it until Cavendish raised his own glass.

"Cheers!" Cavendish smirked and sipped his cocktail.

"Cheers." Sanji replied before tasting his own. Maybe it tasted a little too much of vermouth, maybe it was a bit too strong but it still was quality booze.

"I've been to one of your shows, y'know?" Cavendish started with an arched eyebrow.

"Really?" Sanji cocked his head slightly "Hm, I'd remember seeing you to one of our shows." he tapped his forefinger on the glass "You're a liar."

Cavendish sniggered "Maybe..." he took another sip, taking his sweet time to add "Or maybe not."

"I've seen you to one of those  _Glitter and Dolls_  nights, down at the Colosseum." Sanji admitted as he swallowed down one last big gulp of liquor, then set the glass down on the counter.

Cavendish bit his lower lip "You should have come say hi."

Sanji leaned both elbows on the cool surface of the counter and rested his chin on top of his laced fingers "I'm doing it now." he grinned.

Cavendish knocked back the rest of his drink and put the glass down himself "I'm glad you did." he gently took Sanji's chin between his thumb and forefinger, then leaned in to press their lips together.

Sanji tilted his head just slightly and parted his lips to welcome the other man's tongue inside his mouth. He pushed himself up, one hand went to cup the back of Cavendish's neck, the other moved to press down on the counter for support.

The kiss was rough and hungry, stripped of any sort of emotion, just raw physical need of lips and fingers on skin, teeth leaving marks, clothes rapidly being shed all over the floor until both men tumbled onto Cavendish's king sized bed.

"God, you're gorgeous." Cavendish moaned as he clawed his way down Sanji's toned abs.

Sanji shivered, more because of the words than the nails on his skin "I know."

Cavendish chuckled, just before spreading Sanji's legs and going down on him. Sanji threw his head back and his eyes dropped shut as a crooked grin curled his lips.

That was Sanji's drug.

Feeling gorgeous, feeling wanted and irresistible, that was what Sanji aimed for every single time he flirted with someone. He didn't need anything else, didn't want anything more than being praised and pleasured.

Sanji did believe in love, he still thought it could exist, he just didn't want anything to do with it. Not after seeing what love did to his father when his mother died, not after being rejected by every girl he had ever fallen for as a young boy. Definitely not after that time in high school when an older girl he fancied pretended to be in love with him, dated him for an entire week before humiliating him in front of all her friends when she confessed that it was all just a joke.

He knew had examples of love around him, he had seen how much Mihawk and Shanks loved each other but he just didn't think that love could happen to him or do him any good. That was why Sanji felt so uneasy around Nami and Vivi, because Nami had always had the same thoughts on love, up until Vivi came around.

Apparently love could happen to anyone but him.

That was why Sanji never slept with the same guy twice, he didn't want any pain or attachment, didn't want to be bothered, he just wanted a toe curling orgasm that emptied his mind, a fuck that made him feel like the king of the world.

And Cavendish gave it to him, he sucked him dry and fucked him into the mattress, and only when they were a pile of sweaty, trembling and panting limbs they did stop.

"Where are my pants?" Sanji asked as he sat up, silky hot pink sheets sliding off his torso as he moved. He didn't even want to know what could have possibly happened to his make up.

Cavendish rubbed at his forehead, grimacing as he tried to remember where and when he'd torn Sanji's pants off. "Look by the foot of the bed."

Sanji crawled towards the foot of the bed and picked his jeans from the floor "Here you are..." he grabbed his packet of cigarettes and his zippo from the back pocket and sat back down. He lit up a cigarette and put the lighter by his side on the mattress.

"That's a great idea." Cavendish commented as he stretched over to grab his own cigarettes from the nightstand, placed one between his lips then went to take Sanji's lighter.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sanji sneered suddenly, holding his cigarette between his long, skinny fingers as he glared at Cavendish.

The man stared at Sanji completely puzzled "I... Need a light?"

Sanji snatched the zippo out Cavendish's hands and got up from the bed "Like fuck you are!"

"W-what?" Cavendish kept watching as Sanji put out the cigarette into the ashtray on the nightstand and started furiously pulling on his clothes.

"Just because you fucked me, it doesn't mean that you can get your filthy hands on my stuff!" Sanji growled as he collected his shirt from the floor and quickly shrugged it on with his lighter firmly clenched inside his fist.

"I was just fucking trying to light my cigarette!" Cavendish cried out with a dramatic wave of his hand.

"You don't just take other people stuff like this, you ask for them!" Sanji practically shouted as he slid on his boots.

"You're a fucking psycho! Get out of my house!" Cavendish yelled as he stood up from the bed and pointed at the door.

"And you don't even know what a prostate is!" Sanji shouted in return, then after he pocketed his zippo went on "And you're shit at singing."

"I'll fucking kill you!" Cavendish barked as he followed Sanji who was way quicker than him and nearly got hit in the face by his own front door.

Sanji kept muttering a string of elaborated curses as he buttoned his shirt and zipped up his coat.

No one was allowed to touch the custom made zippo that Zoro had given to Sanji as a gift eight years before.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cavendish's band is inspired to modern Glam Rock/Hair Metal bands such as Crashdiet and/or Reckless Love.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's been leaving kudos and comments, and thanks to whoever's reading this story, it means a lot.
> 
> A special thanks goes to my girlfriend for being a constant source of help and inspiration. ♥
> 
> There aren't particular warnings for this chapter, but I do wanna tell you that more characters are introduced in here, so enjoy! ;)

"As a few of you might know–" Sanji tucked a wet, messy strand of hair behind his ear as he spoke into the microphone "us Crows are big fans of Nightwish." Sanji smirked and let the audience shout and cheer at the band he'd just mentioned, then turned to Ace with raised eyebrows "I guess they like them too!"  
  
Ace nodded and strummed a couple random chords on his guitar as a response, making the crowd whoop and whistle in excitement.  
  
"What's not to adore about them?" Luffy asked rhetorically into his microphone as he scanned the audience. There was more shouting, and then a single, distinct feminine voice cried out Luffy's name. Of course he recognized it, and once he'd spotted the girl he waved at her "Hey, Hammock!"  
  
The was laughter from the rest of the band and audience, then Sanji's hands automatically went to smooth the black and blue tulle of the short skirt he was wearing, before moving to place the microphone on his mic stand, and that alone served as a cue for the entire band to start singing in unison the opening line to _Wish I Had An Angel_.  
  
The crowd went completely nuts. People in the first couple rows started headbanging, a few others in the back started moshing, and even the other bands that were taking part to the _Metal Mayhem_ that night sang along with Sanji and the audience.  
  
From the very back of the venue, a woman dressed in purple and black and a man with slicked back black hair, wearing a big coat sat at a table, drinking and watching Murder of Crow perform.  
  
"People love them. They have their very own fanbase, already." the woman commented as she placed her bright colored cocktail on the table.  
  
"I know. I think we could definitely take them with us." the man didn't tear his eyes from the stage as he took a deep drag off his cigar.  
  
"Should I speak with them, then?" the woman turned to look at the man.  
  
The man kept quiet for some moments, studying the audience and watching how the band interacted with it, then cocked his head in the direction of the girl, eyes still glued to the stage "Let's just enjoy the show for tonight, eh? We've got plenty of time to decide, I don't think anyone will steal them from us."  
  
The woman nodded slowly, folded her arms and turned to look back at the band with a small smirk on her lips.  
  
The music stopped abruptly when Ace's hoarse voice pronounced the closing line of the song and Sanji had ended up standing on the dais of Zoro's drum kit, facing the sweat covered drummer with a devilish grin as they both panted from the effort of performing.  
  
It was in moments like those that Zoro was more and more certain that Sanji was actually a demon sent to the earth specifically to torture Zoro for the rest of his days with his existence alone.   
  
He didn't know whether to murder or thank his brother for planting the idea of cross-dressing inside Sanji's brain, but he sure as hell needed to thank his good star for letting him perform perfectly throughout the whole song no matter the inconvenient and uncomfortable hard-on.   
  
It was hard enough having to play drums with the distraction of Sanji's provocative movements while having his body clad in tight pants and tops, but having to watch Sanji move around the stage in fishnet stockings, a tulle mini-skirt and a lace corset could have costed him his coronaries.  
  
Sanji winked at Zoro right before turning around on his platform boots to face the audience again, and it took all of Zoro's strength and self-control not to drop his head on a tom.   
  
As he forcefully tore his eyes from Sanji's figure, Zoro saw his older brother look back at him with the biggest shit eating grin he'd ever seen, and Zoro would have gladly punched it off his face. Unable to fling a drumstick at Ace's eye, Zoro limited himself to flip him the bird, only causing him to snigger to himself and turn back to the audience.  
  
They still had one more song to perform, one of their own, it was called _'Big Black Wolf'_ and it told the tale of a very special Red Riding Hood who got lost into the forest and slayed the terrible wolf with her very hands, and the fight was narrated as that of a knight facing a dragon. It was a very theatrical song with lots of choir parts, Brook's violin and a hammering rhythm – the band really enjoyed performing it and it was the perfect song for a finale.

Zoro managed to keep his eyes off Sanji for the longest six minutes ever, never messing up, only focusing on what he had to do, either keeping his eyes shut for a few moments or looking down at the elements of the drums.   
  
It was a success. Everyone cheered them on once they had finished performing and Zoro even threw his drumsticks at the audience – he may or may not have laughed under his breath when he saw Bartolomeo punching a guy in the face to get the sticks for himself.  
  
When they stepped backstage Luffy wouldn't stop screaming with Usopp and Franky about how great the show had been, and Sanji and Ace soon joined them, whooping and shouting, while Nami held Vivi so tight in her arms that she swept her off the ground and twirled her around.  
  
"Playing on stage with you is so exciting! It gives me the biggest rush of adrenaline! Yohohoho!" Brook laughed as he threw his arms up in pure exhilaration.  
  
"Well you're great Brook! We love having you with us on stage!" Nami beamed up at him.  
  
"Dear Nami, you flatter me so!" Brook's cheek flushed slightly, then he leaned closer to her to ask "May I see your panties?"  
  
Both Vivi and Nami kicked Brook in the shins so hard that he collapsed to the floor sobbing, while the rest of the guys were clutching at their stomachs in hysterics.  
  
Zoro shook his head, an amused smirk on his lips as he watched his friends going bonkers over the successful gig. He grabbed a towel from his bag and scrubbed at his hair and face to wipe off his sweat.  
  
"Marimo! Don't be boring!" Sanji groaned not too far from him "Why aren't you celebrating with us?"  
  
Zoro tore the towel away from his face and wrapped it around his shoulders as he finally looked over at his expectant friends.   
  
"Didn't wanna cover you in sweat." Zoro shrugged. It was so much easier to say that instead of _'I don't wanna risk my pants ripping on the front if I get too close to you'._  
  
"You idiot, don't you see how gross your brothers are?" Sanji grimaced as he gestured towards the sweat soaked pair standing next to him.  
  
"We're not gross!" Ace cried while his little brother picked at his nose with his pinky and sneakily tried to wipe it on Usopp's shirt.

Zoro snorted and shook his head before deciding that in that dim light and with those black leather pants the silhouette of his raging boner might have gone unnoticed.  
  
"I can't believe you actually dressed like this." Ace shook his head as he looked at Sanji, a small pleased smirk curving the corners of his mouth.   
  
"He looks great, doesn't he?" Nami grinned and wrapped her arm around Sanji's neck "We went clothes shopping together!" she winked.  
  
Oh good. Now Zoro knew who to blame and possibly kill. He folded his arms over his chest and shifted uncomfortably from one leg to the other as he listened and tried not to eye Sanji from head to toe.  
  
"Yeah, too bad we don't have the same bra size, or else we could have tried on a few together!" Sanji wriggled his eyebrows and Nami slapped him on the back of the head.  
  
"Like hell you're seeing my boobs!" Nami growled as she shoved Sanji to the side.  
  
Sanji moaned and rubbed at his aching chest "But breasts are nice!"   
  
"Wasn't he gay?" Vivi cut in as she half glared at Sanji.  
  
"He's just a pervert," Brook sighed "you think _I_ could accompany both of you ladies to buy some panties, instead?"  
  
"What is wrong with all of you?!" Nami yelled and everyone else couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"We just _super_ love ladies and you know it, little sister!" Franky grinned, then he looked over Zoro's shoulder and lifted his shades "And wow, look at her! She's _super_ gorgeous!"  
  
Everyone including Zoro turned to see a girl with long pink hair speaking to one of the techs. Zoro had seen her before, she definitely looked familiar to him but he couldn't quite place her – not from such a distance at least, she could have been Perona for all he could know. _God he hoped it wasn't Perona_.  
  
"Isn't she from _Freakshow_?" Sanji asked as he squinted his eyes as much as he could to try and recognize her.  
  
"What? Tra-guy's band?" Luffy frowned as he walked closer to Sanji to take a better look.  
  
"You guys look like creeps, staring like that!" Zoro grunted.  
  
"Bonney?" Ace furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"Yeah, her!" Sanji nodded at Ace, then went back to stare at the girl.  
  
"If that's her she'll probably snap your necks while you're not watching." Zoro muttered, then pulled on a hoodie as sweat froze on his skin. Maybe if he tugged it as down as he could it would have covered up his shame, too.  
  
"Do you plan on harassing our guitarist any further?" a deep voice thundered from behind them, making Usopp, Nami and Brook jump in fear.  
  
"Sneak up on us like that once again and I'll have you killed!" Nami growled and got immediately laughed at.  
  
"Speak of the devil." Zoro arched an eyebrow at the two men dressed in black full officer tunics.  
  
"Tra-guy!" Luffy cried out and beamed at him "How are you doin' man?"  
  
Law slightly lifted the peak of his forage cap with the tip of his gloved forefinger and looked down at Luffy with his usual stoic expression "Hey there." then his apparently vacant eyes focused on Sanji and a tiny smirk spread on his lips.  
  
Zoro glanced at Sanji and frowned when he saw the way in which the blond was just grinning back at Law.  
  
"We saw you play," Kidd cut in all of a sudden, making Zoro snap back to reality "not bad."  
  
Zoro's eyebrow quirked upwards "Yeah." he threw one last glance at Law and Sanji who had stepped away from the group to chat in private. "You're up next, right?" Zoro added as he turned his gaze back to Kidd.  
  
"That's right, we're performing after _Doomsday_." Kidd explained as he jerked a gloved thumb in the general direction of the stage.  
  
Zoro didn't exactly understand why he was alone with Kidd all of a sudden, everyone had apparently sauntered off to somewhere else, and in that moment Zoro felt an uneasy feeling settling into his stomach like a rock.  
  
"Are you alright?"   
  
Zoro blinked as he realized that he had spaced out and hadn't heard a word of what Kidd had said "Huh?"  
  
Kidd squinted at Zoro, puzzled, but spoke again anyway "I said that we'd like you guys to be the opening act for a few of our shows."  
  
Zoro raised both his eyebrows at those words. Freakshow were more famous and known than Murder Of Crows, which meant that they were touring outside of the city and they were close enough to start touring outside of the country. They also had a contract with the _Baroque Records_ , a big record company for underground and alternative music. If Zoro and the guys really ended up opening a couple of Freakshow's gigs they would have definitely gained more notoriety and some new fans.  
  
"Really?" Zoro inquired "Why us?"  
  
Kidd snorted "Are you seriously asking me that?" then when Zoro's expression didn't change he sighed and continued "You guys are one of the best bands around, and we don't want shitty bands to perform before us."  
  
Zoro couldn't help the small laugh that left his throat, then shrugged "I guess it wouldn't really hurt us."  
  
Kidd nodded "So we got a deal?"  
  
"I gotta talk to the others first," Zoro frowned, then gave a one-shouldered shrug "but I'm pretty sure they'll be fine with it."  
  
Kidd was about to do or say something when his gaze strayed from Zoro's eyes to past his shoulder, his eyes darkening all of a sudden as he focused on something. Zoro frowned and turned in order to see what was bothering Kidd only to find Law with his hand on Sanji's hip, whispering into his ear as the blond listened with a smirk plastered on his face.  
  
"Fucking hell..." Zoro really couldn't help the words that slipped past his lips.  
  
"That asshat can barely keep it in his pants." Kidd snarled.  
  
Zoro whipped his head into Kidd's direction so hard that his three earrings jangled and his neck creaked. "Come again?" he wasn't really sure he'd understood correctly, but no matter Sanji's behavior, Zoro wasn't going to let anyone insult him.  
  
Kidd shook his head "Trafalgar," he finally went back to look at Zoro "He's clearly hitting on your singer, the fucker." his jaw clenched after the last word was uttered, and it was then that Zoro knew what was up.  
  
Kidd was jealous. Probably just as jealous as Zoro was – there were rumors about Kidd and Law being a couple, after all.

Zoro glanced back at Sanji and the way he laughed when Law spoke to him and felt a tug to both his heart and stomach. His gaze dropped to the floor for a moment, as if he was trying to resume his cool, then looked at Kidd "It's not exactly as if my singer isn't enjoying it..."  
  
Kidd scowled at Zoro, but nodded without saying a word, much like he'd understood the bigger meaning behind those words and that masked look of defeat.  
  
"Law! You little slut, we're up in fifteen minutes!" someone behind Zoro roared, startling him.  
  
A grin spread on Kidd's lips as he looked over Zoro's shoulder again, so the drummer had to turn one more time to see what was going on.  
  
"Fuck, Bonney!" Law grumbled as he'd finally detached himself from Sanji's body "You gave me a heart attack!"  
  
"If only!" Bonney shook her head and proceeded to walk up to Zoro and Kidd, leaving Sanji to just stare at her dumbfounded and Law to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck.  
  
Zoro bit back a smirk and mentally thanked the girl at least a thousand times.  
  
"You're one to talk, stuffing your face right before the show." Kidd commented with a gesture of his hand towards the half eaten hotdog in Bonney's hand.  
  
"My fast metabolism is none of your fucking business, really." Bonney replied right before taking a bite of her sub.  
  
Now that Zoro saw Bonney in her stage costume he definitely recognized her as the lead guitarist of Freakshow. She was wearing the same uniform as Law and Kidd, but instead of trousers she was wearing shorts with ripped stockings. Most importantly, she was just as badass as Zoro remembered.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kidd rolled his eyes, then pointed at Zoro "He's Murder of Crows' leader."  
  
One of Bonney's eyebrows quirked up as she looked at Kidd like he was demented "I know," she glanced at Zoro "So you're coming out for a few gigs with us?" Bonney inquired as she snapped at her sub and then pushed the rest of the sandwich into her mouth.  
  
Zoro couldn't help but stare at the way she ate, she would have definitely been a fair challenge to his brothers. "I still need to speak to the rest of the band about it but I guess we might."  
  
"We'll have fun," Bonney spoke around the last mouthful, then hit Kidd in the chest with the back of her hand "You and Kidd here seem to have plenty in common." she winked at Zoro, then looked at Kidd "I'll get my guitar then we get on stage, eh?"  
  
Kidd just shoved her in the direction of the lockers "Just go, you bossy little shit."  
  
"Push me around once again and that'll be the last time you have hands." Bonney sneered as she stomped towards the lockers.  
  
Zoro folded his arms across his broad chest and cocked his head as he watched Bonney disappear around the corner "She'd be best friends with my keyboardist."  
  
Kidd shook his head "Without Bonney we probably wouldn't even be here. She keeps us all in line." then he lowered his voice "Just don't tell her I said so."  
  
Zoro smirked "Cross my heart and hope to die."  
  
"Come on, Eustass-ya." Law suddenly pushed past Zoro and fixed the strap of his bass around his neck "Time to shine." he briefly glanced at Zoro, then swanned off in the direction of the stage stairs.  
  
Kidd followed Law with his eyes, then saluted Zoro "Let us know your answer."  
  
Zoro answered with a nod, then watched Kidd strut towards Law and lean in to speak to him with an angry expression painted on his features. They were just about to start arguing when Bonney and the rest of their band (Zoro was pretty sure the other guys names were something like Killer and Heat, but he wouldn't bet on it) walked up to them, so they immediately knocked it off and walked out on stage one by one.

"Got yourself a date?" Sanji's voice arrived seemingly from out of thin air, as he'd quietly moved to stand beside Zoro. "If I didn't know how much of a giant homo you are I'd also ask if you fell in love with Bonney."  
  
Zoro cocked an eyebrow and turned to look at Sanji "Maybe you got a date with a bassist," he spat out those words as if they were harmful to his body and he needed them out of his system "I got a work offer." he added in a more relaxed tone.  
  
Sanji frowned and nodded, then placed a cigarette between his lips "Been there, done that." he shrugged his shoulders as he cupped a hand around the flame of the lighter, inhaling deeply before tucking his lighter inside the tight cleavage of his corset. "A work offer, huh?" a shit eating grin spread on his lips "Gotta help Kidd weight lifting?" he sniggered.  
  
Zoro's eyebrows drew together and a couple deep creases formed between them "You've already slept with Law?" the details about the actual offer that Kidd made him was completely forgotten in that moment.  
  
Sanji's cheek hollowed more then necessary as he sucked on the filter, making Zoro's dormant arousal stir in anticipation of something that definitely wasn't going to happen. "I have," he exhaled smoke in a thin streak "what's so shocking about that?"  
  
Zoro's jaw tensed for a couple moments as he blinked and raised a shoulder "I thought Law was with Kidd."   
  
Sanji snorted and carelessly scattered ashes all over the floor as he flicked at his cigarette "He kinda is, then again he kinda isn't." he shook his head then took a drag "Dunno really, they're fucking weird." he raised his eyebrows and chewed on his lip ring.  
  
If Zoro wasn't already confused, by the time Sanji had finished spilling his poor explanation he definitely was. He shook his head "What does that even mean? Are they an open couple or–?"   
  
Sanji's eyes rolled back into his skull as he let out an exasperated huff of air "What do you care?"

Zoro spread his arms "Humor me, alright?"

Sanji stared quietly at Zoro for a few moments, then began "Law likes the attention–" he stopped speaking right when Zoro cocked an eyebrow knowingly "I won't say shit if you stare at me like that, you dickwad!" he barked, turning a light shade of red.  
  
Zoro groaned and rolled his eyes "I'm just looking at you!" of course he wasn't going to make a kettle calling the pot black joke, but it was exactly what he was thinking.  
  
"You're silently judging me!" Sanji sneered and dropped the cig on the floor before mercilessly crushing it under the weight of his platform.  
  
Zoro's expression changed to its usual frown right away "Don't give me that crap, Cook. You know I don't do that." and it was true, at least when he wasn't blinded by rage or jealousy he never even thought anything bad about Sanji's lifestyle. Of course he was jealous, of course he thought it was unhealthy on different levels, but apart from teasing Sanji about it, Zoro had never been downright judgmental. Or at least he tried not to be. He cared about Sanji.  
  
Sanji stared Zoro down as if he was trying to turn into a lie detector and understand if he was bullshitting him, then finally went on. "Alright..." he sighed "He's actually in love with Kidd, but they're just–" he grimaced "weird. I can't even explain. They fuck around, but then they're at each other's throat because of that and never talk feelings." he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Zoro took everything in like a blow to the guts. Those words hit home somehow, or at least they sounded way too familiar. Zoro didn't know if Sanji realized that, he had noticed that he hadn't particularly enjoyed speaking about it but that might have meant all kinds of different things.

He had seen for himself that look in Kidd's eye, the mixture of raw pain and anger, Zoro knew that feeling all too well but he was just better at masking it – or so he hoped.   
  
"That's... Fucked up." Zoro scrunched his nose, his eyes not meeting with Sanji's.  
  
"Told you, they're weird." Sanji's tone was still low and calm "But at least they want us to open a few of their gigs, huh?"   
  
Zoro's gaze flew back up and locked with Sanji's smug expression "Law... Told you about it?"  
  
Sanji tilted his head to the side slightly "Well I ensured it. Sort of."  
  
Realization dawned on Zoro, and at the same time he hoped that he was completely wrong before he opened his mouth to cry out "By fucking him?!"   
  
"You make it sound so dramatic!" Sanji scowled "I didn't exactly trade sex with us becoming Freakshow opening act... I mean, we're fucking amazing, our talent did the job but–" he gestured down to his body "this helped."  
  
The mixture of emotions that suddenly washed over Zoro left him breathless like a bucket of icy water down his back. He didn't exactly know what infuriated him the most, but he was so enraged that he could feel a vein in his neck throb and his heart pound furiously in his chest like a hammer.   
  
"What... Did you just say?" Zoro sneered through gritted teeth as he still tried to hold it in.  
  
Sanji stared at Zoro dead in the eye "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"You fucked Law to be his band's supporting act?" Zoro asked with an incredulous expression. He couldn't believe Sanji had so little faith in their own abilities, they could have waited instead of fucking their way through the business.  
  
"I fucked Law because I wanted to! But I also made sure that they were really gonna pick our band!" Sanji explained with a tone that made clear that he didn't understand what Zoro's fuss was all about.  
  
"When did you become a music whore?" Zoro growled as he raised his hands in surrender. He was so mad he could barely contain himself "Why don't you do it for money, next time? Or a record contract!" he huffed, then shrugged both his shoulders "Go fuck a producer, so we can become famous thanks to how good you are at giving head!"  
  
Sanji stared at him outraged, his entire face and ears as red as a tomato and hands balled into fists "You're a fucking asshole! Don't you _dare_ call me a whore ever again!" he barked right before shoving Zoro as hard as he could.  
  
Zoro stumbled backwards and returned the push "I'll stop calling you a whore when you'll stop fucking to obtain gigs and favors!"   
  
By that point they were both shouting and Sanji had resorted to aiming a kick right to the side of Zoro's head, Zoro blocked it with his arm then threw Sanji a punch that was deftly dodged. The fight got rougher but thankfully the commotion caught the attention of a few techs that immediately called Ace and Franky who promptly broke off the fight before blood could be added to the few bruises that Sanji and Zoro had already earned.  
  
"I'll bash your brains in, you fucker!" Sanji yelled and wriggled as Franky held him by the chest and waist.   
  
"Go ahead, you asshole!" Zoro roared as he tried to jerk out of Ace's hold.

"If you dumbasses keep at it you'll be kicked out!" Franky chastised them as he struggled to hold Sanji back.  
  
"He called me a whore! I'll kick him until he regrets even thinking that!"   
  
"You've proved to be one, so I won't take it back!"  
  
Sanji succeeded in slipping out of Franky's hold and all but launched himself at Zoro and Ace, making both brothers fall backwards.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" Franky growled as he sprinted forward to catch Sanji all over again.  
  
In the meantime the rest of their friends had quickly gathered around them, but the ruckus had inevitably caught the attention of the security who, despite Nami and Usopp's pleadings, made sure to kick Sanji and Zoro out of the venue.  
  
"Thank your good star for not getting banned from this place!" Nami scolded them as they sat on the concrete of the sidewalk, panting and scowling. "I would have fucking killed you, if that were to happen!"  
  
"Now, now," Usopp raised his hands and frowned at Nami "let's calm down, okay?"  
  
"You guys are awesome! You managed to fight even after a great success!" Luffy laughed as he watched them with his hands on his hips.  
  
"We fought because he's an asshole." Sanji grumbled as he fixed his skirt, avoiding to look at Zoro directly.  
  
"We fought because you're a–"   
  
"Oi! Knock it off!" Ace punched Zoro right on top of his head to shut him up before he could trigger Sanji again.  
  
"Ow! Fuck you, too!" Zoro cried as he pressed both hands on top of his aching head.  
  
"I'll go get our stuff from the lockers," Nami shook her head, then looked over at Vivi and Usopp "will you give me a hand?" they both nodded and followed her back inside the venue.  
  
Zoro sat still with his knees bent and a hand still rubbing at his head. He threw Sanji a glance and noticed that he looked genuinely upset. Zoro never meant to hurt Sanji's feelings, but there was no way he could have held back from telling him what he thought about his stunt.   
  
It wasn't just about being jealous, it was about doing something that went completely against their values and principles. Sure Murder Of Crows could use some help, but only because of their musical talent, not Sanji's sex skills. That was just plain wrong.   
  
"I'll wait for Nami to bring me my stuff, then I'm outta here." Sanji suddenly broke the uncomfortable silence, making everyone's heads whip in his direction.  
  
"Yeah? You're not coming out for a drink?" Franky furrowed his eyebrows at him.  
  
Sanji stood up and dusted off the back of his skirt "What the fuck is there to celebrate?" he patted his chest, then pulled a terrified expression "Shit! I lost my lighter!"   
  
Zoro looked up at him with wide eyes. He knew it was just a stupid coincidence, but if Sanji'd lost the zippo he'd given to him _that_ night it definitely sounded like a bad omen.  
  
"Ah! I have it, sorry!" Luffy raised his eyebrows and reached into his pocket to pull out Sanji's lighter. "I picked it up from the floor earlier and forgot to give it back!" he grinned as he extended his arm towards Sanji.  
  
"Oh fuck," Sanji hung his head for a moment, then grabbed the zippo from Luffy's hand "Thank you, really."  
  
"Don't mention it!" Luffy sniggered, and Ace patted his head.  
  
Zoro's expression softened in a small smile of gratitude towards his little brother who beamed back at him.   
  
"I'm sorry that the night took a bad turn, but I've really enjoyed it!" Brook spoke softly as he adjusted his glassed on the bridge of his nose "I'm afraid I have to leave now, I've got an early morning. As usual. Yohohoho!"  
  
"Aw, that's too bad!" Ace frowned.  
  
"Yeah, well... I'll see you soon!" Brook saluted them "Tell the others I say goodnight!"  
  
"Definitely, bro!" Franky gave him a thumbs up, then everyone watched him leave.  
  
Zoro stood up and glanced furtively at Sanji once again. Part of him wanted to punch himself in the face for what he had told Sanji – he'd never said anything like that to him before, so it must have hurt him greatly. But Sanji couldn't always just get away with everything, could he?

He didn't have much time to ruminate on Sanji's shenanigans any further, because Nami, Vivi and Usopp reappeared from the club with everyone's bags and stuff.  
  
"Here, hopefully we got everything." Usopp sighed as he placed the bags on the concrete of the sidewalk.  
  
"Thanks, buddy." Ace smiled softly and clapped a hand on Usopp's shoulder, then bent over to grab a hoodie from his bag.  
  
"We're gonna go," Nami jerked a thumb over her shoulder, then furrowed her eyebrows as she looked around "where's Brook?"  
  
"He left already," Luffy shouldered the case of his bass, then added "he says goodnight."   
  
At last it came back to Zoro that he was supposed to tell them about Kidd's offer before he forgot again and everyone left.   
  
His eyes focused briefly on Sanji who was struggling to take off his boots in order to wear a pair of jeans over his stockings and pull down the skirt he'd been sporting all night, this time Zoro wasn't going to get distracted by anything Sanji said or did.  
  
"Before you all go," Zoro began, and every head turned in his direction, except Sanji's of course which remained low and concentrated on what he was doing. "When I was speaking to Kidd he proposed something to me."  
  
"Ohhh, you're getting married?" Usopp exclaimed "That's really sweet!"   
  
"Shut up, Usopp." Zoro glared daggers at Usopp who bravely hid behind Franky. "Kidd asked me if we'd like to accompany them in a couple of their tour dates... As their opening act." Zoro finished and folded his arms over his chest "What do you think?"  
  
Everyone except Sanji stared at him wide-eyed and Zoro didn't know how he was supposed to take it, until finally someone spoke up.  
  
"An opening act for Freakshow?" Ace huffed and spread his arms "Dude, they're like the real deal already! I say we do it!"  
  
An excited choir of yeahs followed, and Zoro could let out a relieved breath.  
  
"I can't believe they actually asked that!" Nami started, both eyebrows drawn together in thought "I mean I know they've seen us before but..." she shrugged "I just didn't expect them to do something like that."  
  
"Well we're different but can both kick major asses," Luffy cut in "it's only fair to join forces!" he beamed, then let out a small chuckle.  
  
"Well they like us," Zoro hunched his shoulders "especially  _one_ of us," he said as he tried to not so subtly look at Sanji who was zipping up his jacket "and they want us on board. That's as much as we need to know, and what  _really_ counts."  
  
"We should celebrate this  _super_ news!" Franky suggested with a clap of his big hands.  
  
"We definitely should!" Vivi agreed and Nami turned to look at her with the biggest grin before pressing a kiss to her lips.  
  
"Whoa whoa! Get a room!" Usopp waved his hand, then laughed.  
  
All the while, as everyone burst into excited comments or cheerful laughter, Zoro couldn't help but notice how Sanji was silent and listless. He'd definitely hurt his feelings, he knew just as much and couldn't help but feel bad about it, even if he'd somehow deserved it, or at least that was what Zoro still firmly thought.  
  
"Hey..." Zoro began, and Sanji's head slowly lifted in his direction "You gonna join us?" he nodded in the direction of the others. He would have wanted to say more, wanted to be more convincing without sounding desperate or annoying, but he wasn't sure how. "You're our singer, you should come with us." was all he could manage, and in that moment he wanted to punch himself in the face really hard.  
  
Sanji shook his head "I've already told you, I'm not coming. There's nothing to celebrate." he lifted his bag and slung the strap over his shoulder "Uh, guys?" he called out to get everyone's attention "I'm gonna go. Have fun." and with those words he lifted his hand, then turned around to leave.  
  
"What?" Luffy stared at Sanji's back outraged "It's a big deal, come back! We gotta celebrate!" then when he saw that the singer didn't stop, nor turned his head he called out for him at the top of his lungs "Sanji!"  
  
The blond finally stopped, rooted on the spot, and he turned with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth "Maybe tomorrow, alright?" he rubbed the back of his neck "I'm tired and I'd rather not go out drinking."  
  
Luffy's frown deepened, but he nodded his head "Maybe we could give you a ride home?" he glanced towards Ace.  
  
"Yeah, it wouldn't be a problem." Ace nodded.  
  
Sanji shook his head "It's fine, really. Go have fun, guys." he saluted them and resumed walking away.   
  
Zoro wasn't sure whether Sanji would have actually gone home, maybe he was going to find someone that would brighten up the rest of his night and lighten up his mood.   
  
"What's wrong with him?" Vivi asked, her lower lip tucked between two rows of perfectly white teeth.  
  
Nami shot Zoro a half-hearted glare, then shook her head "He's just sulking because of the argument he had with his boyfriend." she sighed.  
  
"I'm not his boyfriend!" Zoro roared. He could feel his cheekbones and ears warming up all of a sudden. God, couldn't she just shut up about these things?  
  
"Oh but you wish." Nami cocked an eyebrow and Ace, Usopp and Luffy had to literally slap a hand over their mouths to keep quiet.  
  
"I'll kill you! Shut up!" Zoro growled, then started walking in a random direction "Let's just go!"  
  
"Zoro, our car is in the opposite direction..." Ace bit his lower lip and Luffy and Usopp mercilessly bursted out laughing.  
  
At that point Zoro's face was so red and hot that it could have been used as a warmth supply for a small country.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

  
  
The celebration wasn't crazy, nor did it last for hours on end since everyone was busy the day after.   
  
Zoro hadn't planned to get drunk, but the uncomfortable feeling of jealousy mixed with guilt and a sprinkle of anger that had settled on his stomach as heavy as a rock didn't exactly help out his case. He didn't get monstrously hammered, but he stumbled on his way out of the club and into the car and slept throughout the entire ride.  
  
Once they had parked into the front yard of the house, Luffy and Ace had done their best to pull Zoro out of the car and forced him to stand on his own legs and make it through the front door. His knees almost gave out when he was stirred in the direction of the kitchen, and complained like a child as he was pushed down to sit on a chair while Ace made him some coffee and Luffy poured him a huge glass of water.  
  
"I don't want coffee, and I won't–" Zoro grimaced, his eyelids as heavy as iron and his mind on the verge of giving in to sleep "...drink water." he tried to rest his elbow on the table but missed it twice before actually succeeding, then he dropped his chin into his hand.  
  
"Yes you will, it's good for you." Luffy explained and took Zoro's free hand to wrap his fingers around the glass "Go on, drink."  
  
Zoro hummed and kept his eyes firmly shut. He was too tired for that, why were his brothers so damn restless?  
  
"Drink your water or I'll pour it on your head." Luffy threatened him, his tone as serious as ever.  
  
"You wouldn't dare." Zoro muttered, barely parting his lips to speak.  
  
"Don't challenge him." Ace sighed.  
  
Zoro didn't hear anything anymore, he wasn't sure if he had completely fallen asleep but one thing he knew for sure. He had heard a splash and then a horrible feeling of cold and wetness washed over him, jerking him awake and making him rear back so hard and suddenly that he nearly fell backwards with the whole chair. He could barely breathe both from the shock and the cold, but he had one thing very clear in his mind.  
  
"You're fucking dead!" Zoro growled, and Luffy sprung to his feet and jolted out of the kitchen as fast as lightning, laughing like an idiot.  
  
"No, no, no! Don't! Our folks will kill us!" Ace cried out as he caught Zoro just before he could charge in Luffy's direction.  
  
"I'm fucking soaked! Shit!" Zoro shouted, and Ace pressed both his hands over his brother's mouth.  
  
"Shhh!" Ace hushed him, pure horror painted his face "Did you not hear a word I said? If we wake them up we'll definitely be dead!" he hissed, then removed his hands from Zoro's lips "It's nearly 2 in the damn morning!"  
  
Zoro tried to even out his breathing, his chest heaving like mad in the wake of his outburst, but he did slowly come down from it.   
  
"You guys are such bullies." Zoro finally commented as he ran his fingers through his wet mohawk.  
  
Ace scowled "We aren't," he grumbled "don't compare us to those who made your childhood hell."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "You're not like them," he precised, then added "but you can definitely give me hell."  
  
Ace grinned "That's what brothers are for." then a bubbling sound came from behind him as the coffee boiled into the moka pot. "Are you sure you don't want that coffee?" Ace cocked his head slightly.  
  
Zoro sighed and sat back down in defeat. It would have definitely been better to go to sleep without feeling like the undead, after all.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

Zoro went to sleep at 2:15 and as soon as he hit the pillow he was completely dead to the world, not even a cannon shot or an earthquake would have waken him up. Or so he thought.

  
Zoro's phone buzzed at least three times with different text messages, and none of those times he opened an eye.   
  
Around the fifth text he blinked his eyes open, then groaned when the light of his mobile phone screen blinded him.  
  
"F'ck off..." he moaned sleepily and turned his head to the other side.  
  
A sixth and a seventh message were sent, then the phone started vibrating insistently with a call, but Zoro pulled the duvet over his head and kept sleeping through the noise.  
  
Eight, nine, ten texts. One more call, and Zoro finally woke up with a groan and a string of colorful curses, and grabbed his phone.  
  
"Two missed calls and ten texts?" Zoro stared at the screen in a mix of horror and confusion, then began to check the texts from the latest.  
  
_'you're a fuckface omg'  
  
'thats not how a best friend acts'  
  
'ffs answer the phone'  
  
'thats it im callin u'  
  
'cmon moss brain reply'  
  
'dont ignore me'  
  
'no srsly i need u to answer to this'  
  
'marimo am i good enough? do u think im a good singer or am i just a fucking slut?'  
  
'i mean, u guys are all so talented but then there's me with my mediocre singing and fuck i dont think im good enough. zeffs right im just a stupid eggplant with a stupid shitty dream'_   
  
_'marimo... do u think we would have been asked by freakshow to play with them even if i didnt sleep with law? i mean we're fucking great aren't we?'_   
  
Zoro's heart skipped a beat, then began to race in his chest. He didn't even know if he should have been annoyed by Sanji's behavior, but the first three texts were a clear cry for help and Zoro couldn't ignore him anymore.  
  
"What the fuck, it's nearly 5..." Zoro burrowed his face into the pillow as he gathered the energy necessary to call Sanji, then he pressed the green handset button on the screen of his phone and waited.  
  
"Took you a fucking while." Sanji's voice was kind of shaky and Zoro immediately furrowed his brows.  
  
"I was sleeping, dumbass. What's goin' on?" Zoro croaked out. He really wished he were still sleeping.  
  
"You read the texts?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then you know." Sanji's voice cracked slightly.  
  
Zoro scowled at the odd sound of Sanji's voice "Have you been crying?"   
  
"Fuck off!"  
  
Zoro sighed "Just askin', don't get your panties in a twist."  
  
"I actually  _am_ wearing panties."  
  
Zoro squeezed his eyes shut and thanked God for being too tired to get a boner. "Are you regretting what you've done?"  
  
"A straight answer, goddamn muscle brain!" Sanji barked from the other side of the phone.  
  
"Screech like a damn vulture again and I swear to Christ I'll hang up." Zoro deadpanned.  
  
"I'll kill you."  
  
"Go to sleep, Cook."  
  
"No, no, no!"   
  
Zoro smirked, then sucked in a deep breath and sighed out his answer "You're a halfwit, but you're a good singer." some moments of silence followed those words, and Zoro thought that Sanji had probably hung up on him until be actually spoke again.  
  
"Fuck you, I'm not an idiot! And you're just saying that 'cause you wanna sleep."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and let out a long and annoyed moan "Yes, indeed! I wanna sleep!"  
  
"See? That's why I hate you and you're a horrible best friend!" Sanji half whined.  
  
Had Sanji been standing in front of him, Zoro would have probably strangled him "Where are you, anyway?"  
  
"I'm home, asshole. You're the actual halfwit here!"   
  
Zoro's eyebrow quirked up. There were two options : either Sanji had been with someone and only later he'd gone back home, or he'd really walked all the way back home after the Metal Mayhem. "And you haven't slept at all? Not a minute, 'cause you were kicking yourself for the Trafalgar thing?" he rarely voluntarily poked his nose into Sanji's business, but certain situations called for it.  
  
There was more silence, then the hushed sound of a few ragged breaths reached Zoro's ear.

"I've tried sleeping, didn't work out. I kept tossing and turning, and torturing my brain." Sanji explained in this soft, almost childish voice.  
  
Zoro was done for, but couldn't show it. "You're a good singer, Cook. You're mostly dumb and annoying, but you're the core of our band." Zoro let his eyes fall shut and rubbed at his tired eyelids as he lay on his back. "Murder Of Crows is your baby as much as it is mine."  
  
Sanji let out a small huff of laughter, then Zoro heard him sniffle softly before saying "We're good parents, right?"  
  
Zoro snorted, a smile spreading on his lips "We are... After all." then his tone turned more serious as he added "But please, believe in your parenting skills more, alright? You don't need to hire and fuck a babysitter, yeah?"  
  
Sanji finally gave in to laughter "Shut up, you dumbass."  
  
"You gonna sleep now?"   
  
"You really can't wait to hang up on me, can you? Jerk."  
  
Zoro sighed "We both need to sleep. We've got work in the morning, you might accidentally crawl into an oven."  
  
"You fucking wish, huh?"  
  
Zoro sniggered "Sometimes."  
  
Sanji let out an outraged gasp "You bitch!"  
  
"Goodnight, Cook."  
  
"Night asshole Marimo, don't choke in your sleep."  
  
"I'll try." Zoro waited for Sanji to hang up first, then finally set the cellphone back onto the nightstand.   
  
He stared up at the ceiling for a good couple of minutes and realized that something had definitely moved inside Sanji, maybe what he had done with Law and the fight back at the Colosseum had changed some things. Or maybe Zoro was just trying to convince himself because it made him feel better, because it started raising some hope.  
  
"I just need to sleep." Zoro whined to himself and flipped on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow and trying to give in completely to sleep.

 

_**To be continued...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The band Freakshow is inspired for looks and sound to Deathstars.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Verbal abuse and homophobia.

Zoro perfectly knew what a paranoid Sanji could be like, so even though he'd managed to soothe him on the phone he also knew that he was probably still clinging to his regrets and anxiety, mentally kicking himself throughout the entire day.

Zoro still partly thought he deserved to feel that way because he needed to learn from his freaking stupid mistakes, but on the other hand he really couldn't leave Sanji alone with his mind for too long.

Once Zoro had a few minutes break at the dojo he sat into the changing room and created a group conversation on Whatsapp so that he could communicate with his brothers and Sanji at the same time, then typed in his idea.

_'oi you stupid nerds. tomorrow's saturday so the plan is the following: we go to the movies in the afternoon, then dinner, then club.'_

He hit send, then massaged the back of his neck in an attempt to ease the soreness in his muscles.

_'look who learned to use whatsapp omg'_ came Ace's reply, and Zoro rolled his eyes.

_'i just laughed so hard that shanks slapped me for scaring him awake from his nap'_  Luffy answered right after.

_'lo and behold the nehandertal boy is evolving'_ came Sanji's comment at last.

Zoro's teeth gritted so hard that his jaw cracked.

_'assholes, just answer!'_

Zoro shook his head and checked the time. The next lesson would have started in ten minutes more or less, so he really didn't have much time for staring at the screen of his cellphone.

_'we're watching cap 2 yeah?'_  Luffy was the first to finally ask the right questions.

_'dude yes, i wanna see bucky fuckme barnes'_  Sanji's response came right after, making Zoro huff and shake his head.

_'yeah why not'_ Zoro replied, then added _'pretty sure ace's in too?'_

_'sure yeah, tho we all didn't like the first one'_  Ace confirmed short after.

_'cap ain't no thor and chris evans ain't no chris hemsworth but yeah'_

This time Zoro couldn't help but snigger at Sanji's answer.

_'natasha though'_  Ace replied before Zoro could type in anything.

_'nami's doppelganger hahaha'_ Luffy cut in.

_'more like nami's wet dream'_  Zoro finally succeeded in responding and earned tons of laughing emojis in return.

_'i gotta go back to the kitchen, dirty fucks. but im in.'_ Sanji texted before leaving the conversation.

_'we're all in.'_  Ace confirmed.

_'yep yep, cap2 + + club sounds GREAT!'_

_'do your homework or you're staying home'_  Zoro typed with a smirk on his lips, when suddenly the door cracked open and a thundering voice nearly made him drop his phone.

"Zoro! Quit slacking off!" Mihawk roared from the threshold, a murderous glare in his eyes.

Zoro huffed and slid his cellphone inside his bag right before he stood up "Comin', comin'..." he grumbled as he watched Mihawk turning on his heels and walking off.

Working with his father was definitely a whole lot of fun – at least he had a nice Saturday to look forward to, he sucked in a deep breath and exited the lockers to greet his students.

The morning after Zoro was greeted by the blinding light of his cellphone screen and a text from Sanji.

_'zeff's been a pain in the ass about taking the rest of today off, but he can suck my dick.'_

Zoro was about to close his eyes again, since he had no intention of getting up at 9 in the morning on a Saturday, when Sanji sent another text.

_'well not literally. ew. i dont want him to suck me off.'_

Zoro pulled a face and decided to text him back before shoving the cellphone under his pillow.

_'you're fucking disgusting.'_

And with that statement he went back to sleep.

When Zoro didn't have an alarm set and ready to go off to wake him up, unless someone physically dragged him out of bed there was just no way he'd wake up on his own at a decent time.

His heavy sleeper skills allowed him to fall asleep anywhere at anytime and keep being dead to the world through a storm or even a war. Even though his keen swordsman senses could make him spring awake at the drop of a hat if needed, that day it just wasn't going to happen.

He had no idea about what was the time, nor did he actually care, but his ears did perk up at one point during his slumber. He heard a muffled conversation and a couple suffocated laughs, and he knew for a fact that something was going to happen to him, yet he didn't have the energy to give a damn.

Zoro had just fallen asleep like a log again when two painful weights were dropped almost simultaneously on his back and ass, making him groan out as he finally woke up to see Luffy and Sanji grinning down at him like the couple of jerks they were.

"I'll slash you both open, you fuckers!" Zoro snarled as he dropped his head back down onto the pillow.

"If only Mihawk could see how you've been easily defeated," Sanji shook his head in disapproval "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"I was fucking sleeping, gimme a break," Zoro grumbled against the fabric of the pillowcase "and get off my back, literally."

"No you're comfy, I think we're gonna use you as a couch." Luffy sniggered.

"He's never gonna get up, this way." Ace sighed, and Zoro lifted his head to spot him as he rested against the doorjamb "Hello, sleeping monster!" Ace waved at him with a smirk.

"What's the damn time, you pains in the ass?" Zoro wiped at the rivulet of drool dripping from the corner of his mouth, then propped himself up on his elbows, shooting a deadly glare at the boys still sitting on him.

"It's 3 pm, we thought you'd died in your sleep or something." Sanji shrugged a shoulder as he picked at some hangnail around the nail of his forefinger with his thumbnail, completely avoiding Zoro's gaze.

"A dream come true, huh?" Zoro swatted the hand that Luffy had buried into his mohawk to ruffle it.

Sanji sighed dramatically and nodded "I would have been very happy, yes." he crossed one long leg over the other and got more comfortable on Zoro's ass.

Zoro scoffed and with a swift movement managed to send both Luffy and Sanji ass first onto the floor, much to Ace's amusement.

"Zoro!" Luffy whined as glared up at his brother "You're no fun at all!"

"Shitty Marimo!" Sanji cried as he rubbed at his lower back.

"I'm gonna go shower, put your chef skills to good use and make me something to eat for when I'm ready." Zoro announced as he picked some clean clothes from his drawers, then pushed past Ace to get to the bathroom.

"Fuck you! You can starve for all I care!" Sanji growled from the bedroom.

"You wouldn't allow that." Zoro replied and grinned when he heard a frustrated moan in response.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Zoro was ready in forty minutes and everyone made fun of him for taking too long, so Zoro had to remember everyone that Sanji always took more than an hour and Ace always smelled like he had plunged into a pool of cologne. Sanji nearly threw the sandwich he had just prepared at Zoro's face, and he really only restrained from doing so because it was food, but he did kick him in the shin.

They needed to leave to get to the mall and buy the tickets for the movie, but Luffy was still munching on the third club sandwich that Sanji had made for him and Ace was absolutely adamant that they waited because he didn't want mayonnaise and tomato slices all over his car seats.

"Jesus, Luffy, will you hurry up and finish?" Zoro growled as he thumped his boot on the floor. "We're gonna be late!"

"Don't listen to him, if you eat too fast it'll make you sick!" Sanji spoke around his cigarette as he watched the boy eat.

"Bullshit, he always wolfs things down like it's his last hour on earth!" Zoro huffed and threw his head back in exasperation.

"God, Zoro would you chill the fuck out?" Ace bursted as he stared at his brother with wide eyes and spread arms.

"I'm done, I'm done!" Luffy announced with a full mouth and raised hands.

"You got mayo on your shirt..." Sanji sighed and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Great!" Zoro huffed and ran his fingers through his hair.

Luffy looked down at his shirt and quickly tugged it off "I'll be just a second!" he cried as he sprung to his feet and bolted out of the kitchen and upstairs to change his shirt.

"What's wrong with you?" Sanji asked as flicked ashes into the sink and washed them off under the stream of water.

Zoro looked at Ace with a quirked brow and Ace pointed at him, mouthing "He's talking to you."

"Nothing?" Zoro shrugged a shoulder.

"You were pestering your little brother like there was no tomorrow, you never do that." Sanji turned around to look at him, resting back against the sink.

Zoro rolled his eyes "I just don't wanna be late."

"Thank God you're not driving, then." Ace cut in, making Sanji snort.

"You're such a comedian." Zoro deadpanned, and a minute after he was attacked by Luffy who jumped on his back.

"I'm ready, let's go!" Luffy grinned.

"Let's go then." Ace made his car keys dangle, and Sanji couldn't help but smirk at Luffy all roped around his older brother.

Zoro suddenly felt bad about having nagged his little brother the whole time, so he decided to carry him on his back to the car. He didn't actually mean to be rude to Luffy, but he'd been really looking forward to that evening and he just wanted things to go smoothly – missing the movie because of a sandwich wasn't exactly his plan.

"Shotgun!" Luffy suddenly called out as he dropped back on his feet and ran to the passenger seat of the car.

Ace playfully rolled his eyes "No putting your feet on the freaking dashboard or I'll cut them off."

Luffy sighed dramatically and pulled the door open "What a nazi." he climbed inside the car, leaving Sanji and Zoro to guffaw at Ace's face.

"I'll leave you both here." Ace grumbled as he got into the car.

Sanji shrugged a shoulder and pointed at his own car "Like that'd be a problem."

Zoro snorted and entered the car himself.

Once they arrived at the mall and saw all the people queued up at the ticket booth everyone's eyes popped out of their sockets.

"Oh fuck me sideways." Ace groaned as they approached to get in line behind a family with two little girls and a boy, all wearing Marvel comics shirts.

"Gladly." Sanji smirked, and Ace's face paled all of a sudden as he looked at Zoro.

Zoro limited himself to glare daggers at Sanji, then sunk his hands into the pockets of his jeans and stared at the dropping count of the seats for the screening of The Winter Soldier that they had chosen.

He wasn't even mad at Sanji for cracking that stupid joke, he was just disappointed because of course everyone and their mothers were always going to be more interesting and appealing to Sanji than Zoro.

It wasn't even like Zoro expected anything from Sanji, being his best friend and the person he'd known longer for all his life didn't automatically qualify as boyfriend material, and it wasn't like Zoro had ever made a move or uttered a single word regarding his feelings, still he hoped that something would finally happen someday.

He hardly demanded Sanji to finally turn around and look at Zoro like he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen on this earth, but he'd just hope that he would slow down with his destructive behavior and not get into any sort of trouble. Zoro respected Sanji very much, no matter the insults and the fights, and loved him more than he cared to admit, and all he wanted was to know that he was safe and happy. And most of the times Sanji wasn't.

"Oi Zoro, why don't we go get popcorn and coke while they wait here in line?" Luffy asked as he nudged Zoro's side.

Zoro scowled down at him "Because you'd just eat all your popcorn and drink all your coke while they're in the queue and then you'll want to buy more." he chastised him, even if he couldn't really bite back a tiny smirk.

Luffy huffed and threw his head back "Come on! I'm not 5!"

Zoro arched up an eyebrow "Kinda."

"Fuck off!" Luffy grunted, and the mother that was right ahead of them in the line glared back at him.

Sanji waved his hand and grinned at the woman "Sorry madam, he's a bit cranky today. I'll make sure it won't happen again!" he turned to slap Luffy's shoulder, then sneered between his teeth "Stop swearing, there are kids here, fucksake!" then as he realized what he'd just done he slapped a hand over his mouth and Luffy, Ace and Zoro couldn't help but burst out laughing as the lady proceeded to lecture Sanji on how he shouldn't mock people like he'd just done.

Once the argument with the lady was over Sanji was as red as a tomato, and fuming with rage, but when it was finally their turn they were lucky enough to find decent seats which definitely brightened Sanji's mood. They weren't exactly central nor particularly high but they did the trick.

Zoro went to buy popcorn and coke for everyone, and Luffy nearly knocked everything to the floor when he almost jumped up on Zoro in excitement.

"Next time we go to the movies we're sedating him!" Sanji growled as they entered the theater. Ace laughed and shook his head while Luffy sulked and stuffed his face with buttered popcorn.

Sanji and Zoro sat next to one another, then Luffy sat near Zoro and Ace right beside him.

"Don't argue during the movie or I'll murder you both." Ace warned Zoro and Sanji.

"I'll help him." Luffy nodded, then the two brothers high-fived. In response Sanji and Zoro stared at them for a moment, then both turned to look at the blank screen, one sipping on his coke and the other popping popcorn in his mouth.

Sanji nudged Zoro's elbow all of a sudden, then pointed down at their bowl of popcorn "What if I bore a hole through the bottom and stick my cock into it, huh? Like in bad porn movies."

Zoro widened his eyes while Luffy and Ace cracked up beside him "Shut up, you sick fuck!" he growled at the exact time in which the lights went off.

Sanji laughed his ass off as he wore his 3D glasses and turned to look at the images that finally began to appear on the screen.

Zoro kept staring at Sanji, a grimace twisting his features as he shook his head and wore his 3D glasses as well. That wasn't even kinky, it was just plain disgusting.

Useless to say, since when movie began and all through the entire screening the four boys commented on the movie with poorly muffled whispers and random bursts of laughter. Ace couldn't help the little moans that escaped his control every now and then when Natasha was on screen, and Sanji wouldn't shut up about how hard he would have wanted to fuck Bucky.

"I thought you'd want him to fuck you." Zoro whispered the first time Sanji said it.

"Dude, he looks more of a bottom than me. Plus that hair is totally made to be pulled on." Sanji explained as he jabbed his forefinger at the screen.

"He's got a point, I'd totally fuck him too." Ace raised his eyebrows, and a couple sitting a row behind hushed them with indignation.

"No homo?" Sanji muttered, and everyone snorted.

Around the end of the movie Zoro's stomach began to tighten. The story of Steve and Bucky somehow hit home and he couldn't help but throw a couple glances at Sanji during the fighting scene between the two.

Zoro was like Steve, even though he actually fought Sanji back every time, he didn't enjoy it. Bucky's mindless hostility and violence broke Steve more emotionally than physically, he loved Bucky unconditionally and answered every punch by reminding Bucky that he was his friend and everything was going to be okay, and right when Bucky was about to finish him Steve uttered that sentence that made Zoro's teeth grit and his fists clench.

_"I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."_

He felt Sanji shift in his seat, his right hand clutched the handle of the seat and when Zoro looked at him he saw him push the 3D glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"Damn, why am I getting emotional over these two?" Luffy suddenly whined, and when Zoro whipped his head around to look at him he saw Ace rubbing at his left eye with the tips of two fingers.

"Fuck it, I didn't know we were watching a romantic drama." Ace growled lowly.

"You fucking morons, are you crying?" Zoro grumbled as he stared at them.

"Hey I'm made of flesh and bones!" Ace exclaimed as he pointed at his own face, and Sanji broke into giggles.

"We're all so manly, getting emotional over these faggots." Sanji shook his head as he looked at the screen.

Zoro scowled at Sanji.

So he could still feel something, that was good to know.

On the other hand it was pretty fucking pathetic that the four of them were being emotional over The Winter Soldier, what the hell was wrong with them?

Well at least Zoro wasn't tearing up like Ace. Still he felt like he had a good reason to feel upset about what they were watching, even though the last thing he was going to admit was that he could relate to damn Captain America.

Zoro drew in a long, deep breath as the lights turned back on, then pushed the glasses over his head.

"I liked this one better than the first!" Luffy announced with a huge grin.

"Yeah, me too." Ace agreed and Zoro and Sanji limited themselves to nod along.

"Look at all these idiots leaving," Sanji suddenly commented as he watched people exit the theater as the credits kept rolling.

"Are they ever gonna learn about the after credits scene?" Luffy sighed as he sunk deeper into his seat.

"Let the peasants leave, we don't need them." Ace smirked as he poked Luffy's side, making him squirm.

Zoro grabbed his coke to finish it off, then caught Sanji staring at him "What?"

Sanji shrugged a shoulder "Nothing, I was just thinking that your ass is nicer than Steve's."

Coke went up Zoro's nose and he broke into a coughing fit, worrying Luffy who started slapping him behind the back under Ace's shocked gaze.

"That was a compliment, why the fuck are you dying?" Sanji sighed and shook his head.

Zoro didn't die, but the coke he had inhaled nearly made him miss the after credits scene, so Sanji slapped him really hard on his back and Zoro miraculously stopped choking.

"C-couldn't you do that earlier?" Zoro cleared his throat and wiped away a stray tear from his cheekbone.

"Shht! Let me watch the scene, you can go back to dying later." Sanji waved a hand as he focused on the screen.

Hadn't he cared about the very last scene Zoro would have said something in return and started a fight, but the last thing he wanted was missing an after credit scene and being kicked out of the theater for murder.

Once the movie had definitely ended, Luffy could barely contain himself and started what sounded like a neverending ramble about the movie and how extremely excited he was for the other films that still had to come.

"Yeah, yeah alright it was pretty cool! But the Marimo and I are waiting for our beloved X-Men to come back." Sanji cut in all of a sudden, a smug smirk on his face as he folded his arms over his chest.

It was the small little things like those that made Zoro's heart swell, some stuff were only about the two of them and Sanji never failed to mention it.

"Yep." Zoro nodded casually.

"And he'll wear the Wolverine shirt I got him for his birthday, because he's such a  _fanboy_." Sanji added as he half-covered his mouth with his hand.

"Shut up, you'll cry over the movie and we all know that!" Zoro growled as he shoved his hands inside his pockets.

"I won't!" Sanji denied, then sighed and dropped his head "Okay, I probably will."

Everyone laughed at the confession, but it was quickly disrupted by the roaring sound of Luffy's stomach.

"You can't be serious!" Sanji growled with widened eyes.

"But I'm really hungry..." Luffy frowned as he wrapped his arms around his stomach.

"You just ate a fuckload of popcorn!" Sanji insisted. Zoro didn't even know why it was so hard for him to believe how much Luffy could eat, even thought he had known him since when he was a child.

"They opened up my stomach, nothing more." Luffy sighed.

"Well," Ace cut in, cocking his head to the side slightly "I'm kinda hungry myself."

"I could eat, too." Zoro gave a one-sided shrug and Sanji looked at the three brothers almost disgusted.

"You damn bottomless pits," Sanji grumbled and shook his head "let's find the less shitty place on the food court floor."

Luffy gave a cheerful cry, then hugged Sanji so tight that Zoro feared he might crack one or two of the cook's ribs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Going out for dinner with Sanji was one hell of a challenge, he could never settle for anything because he kept judging and questioning the healthiness of the food made in any single restaurant. Fast food were completely out of question, even when Luffy practically pushed Ace inside Burger King because he absolutely wanted a Triple Whopper with a side of Grilled Chicken, Sanji barked out his disdain and dragged Luffy out by force.

After almost an hour and thirty minutes of arguing and walking around the food court they settled for a steakhouse, since it looked like their best option, much to Luffy's happiness.

Everyone stuffed their stomachs full with all kinds of meat, french fries and sauces, while Sanji glared at them sideways as he almost elegantly ate his medium rare steak and a salad.

"You drank nearly three beers and we're not even even gone to the club yet, you'll probably spend the night in the toilets, trying not to piss your pants." Sanji commented as he watched Zoro down half of the pint in his hand.

"Get off my back, Cook." Zoro grumbled as he ate the rest of his fries and washed them down with a big gulp of lager.

"You should eat something else, Sanji. It'll probably make you less snappy." Luffy suggested as he stole a bunch of fries from Ace's plate.

"Little bastard, I'll stab you with my fork!" Ace snarled as he threateningly aimed his fork at the back of Luffy's hand.

"I'll help." Sanji deadpanned as he glared over at Luffy.

"He's right, get some sugar in your blood, it might do something about that bitterness of yours." Zoro commented as he knocked back the rest of his beer, and Sanji hit him in the chest hard enough to make him cough up some lager and nearly spit it into Ace's face. "I'll kill you, you damn asshole!" Zoro sneered and took Sanji by the collar of his shirt.

"Go on!" Sanji challenged him through gritted teeth.

Ace grabbed Zoro's wrist and yanked it away "Fucking stop arguing! This was supposed to be a nice evening! Don't ruin it!" he growled lowly as he made sure that no one was paying attention, then when he casually looked down at his dish and found it emptied of the rest of his french fries, he had to slap Luffy in the back of the head.

Both Zoro and Sanji sunk back in their seat, and Sanji sighed "We're all hopeless."

"I just really like these fries..." Luffy whined as he rubbed at the back of his head.

Sanji scoffed and stood up, grabbed his messenger bag and proceeded to walk away with it.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Zoro asked, not caring that he had spoken loud enough for everyone to hear him.

Sanji didn't turn but answered anyway "Gotta get ready for the club."

Zoro turned to look at Ace with a quizzical look.

"Hopefully he won't wear a skirt again, so your boner will be less evident..." Ace shrugged a shoulder, then added "Maybe." with a tiny, yet incredibly smug smirk.

Luffy inhaled the coke he was drinking as he failed to choke back his laughter and Zoro threw the picked bone of his steak at Ace.

Desserts were ordered and thoroughly enjoyed while Sanji was still burrowed inside the men's toilet, and for a moment they actually started to worry that he might have passed out or something.

"Maybe we should check on him." Ace suggested, his eyebrows drawn together in apprehension as he wiped crumbs off the table.

Zoro snorted "I told you earlier. He takes forever to get ready." he was actually just as worried as Ace, but he certainly wasn't going to let it show, nor he planned on bursting into the toilets to see if Sanji was alright.

"I can go check." Luffy offered as he stabbed the last piece of brownies in his plate.

Zoro was just about to give him an harsh reply when his gaze strayed past Ace and Luffy's heads.

Sanji was just fine.

He was actually  _painfully_  fine, as he sauntered towards them with feline grace in his tight bondage pants, a fishnet shirt that put his lower stomach tattoo on display, and a tailcoat jacket. His eyes were finely circled with black eyeliner and eyeshadow, making his gaze look like that of a panther, and as soon as they locked with Zoro's he felt his stomach quiver and a jolt bolted right down to his groin.

In that moment Zoro would have gladly punched himself in the crotch, just so that he wouldn't have to hear Ace's endless teasing once he'd stand up from the table and probably too close to Sanji.

"You had all those clothes in your bag?" Luffy was the only one really able to speak up in that moment "That's why it looked all puffed up."

Sanji raised an eyebrow "You all should have dressed more nicely, I'll be ashamed to walk into the club with you three." he sighed and dramatically rolled his eyes.

Ace kicked Zoro's boot from under the table, so that he finally straightened up in his chair and shut his slightly hanging mouth.

"Fuck off, you diva." Zoro managed to say as he quickly got a hold of himself and cleared his throat.

Sanji folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow "What if we meet a fan that wants to take a picture? I sure as hell won't look like a hobo for that."

"Gimme a break." Zoro grimaced and stood up, his jeans felt a bit too tight on the crotch area but maybe no one was going to notice. "Let's pay and get outta here."

"What about coffee?" Sanji protested as he watched Luffy and Ace stand up.

"It could spill all over your pretty clothes, and we don't want that." Zoro tilted his head, then quickly strutted towards the cashier.

Sanji groaned and followed him along with his brothers.

As they were finally walking back to the garage, as they had just got one off the escalators, Luffy beamed at a lady who was keeping her Staffordshire Bull Terrier on a leash and crouched down to pet the dog for what felt like ages, asking question about him and laughing when the dog licked his face, until Sanji joined in and began to scratch under the dog's chin.

Zoro and Ace didn't have the heart to tell both of them to hurry up because they should have left in a couple of minutes if they didn't want to find a neverending queue outside the club, but the way Sanji was grinning reminded Zoro of how he smiled as a child and it made his stomach flutter.

There weren't many things which put that special look on Sanji's face, sometimes not even singing for an audience made him that happy, and Zoro thought it was important for Sanji to enjoy moments like that more.

He stuffed his hands inside his pockets in a clear sign of wait, and as he was feeling Ace's eyes burning on his skin he had to turn his head to scowl at him.

"What?"

Ace smirked and shrugged, he too had his hands buried in his pockets "Nothing, you just..." he threw Sanji and Luffy a glance to make sure they weren't listening, and then lowered his voice to speak again "You should see your face when you look at him."

Zoro's eyes widened and his body stiffened "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Yes, Ace knew perfectly about Zoro's feelings towards Sanji, still Zoro didn't want to be always that obvious, he didn't want to hear how much he looked like an idiot when Sanji smiled as he pet a dog. It was frustrating and humiliating, and Zoro hated it with a passion.

Ace rolled his eyes and just shook his head, then turned to look at Sanji and Luffy "Guys, I know the dog is gorgeous," he pulled his hands out of his pockets and tapped his forefinger on the opposite wrist, where his watch was "but we should really go."

Zoro frowned, then blinked for a moment, because he pictured he and Ace as a couple of parents who were waiting on their kids so that they could leave the mall. Then when he saw Sanji stand up and turn around to face him he felt that way too familiar stir in his pants, and suddenly the thought he had just had felt deeply wrong and creepy, so Zoro had to quickly turn on his heels and march towards the last escalator that would have brought them to the garage.

In the car Sanji shifted until that he was pressed against the corner of the backseat, then kicked both legs over Zoro's lap as he played with his cellphone and sang half-heartedly whichever song came on the radio.

All Zoro could do was bless his very good health that didn't let him have a stroke or anything, every time Sanji was so incredibly close to him.

–

When they finally reached the club, there was already hardly any spot to park the car in, and Ace nearly bashed his head into the steering wheel in frustration.

"Told you we needed to leave the mall sooner." Sanji sighed as he pocketed his cellphone and rolled down the window in order to have a smoke.

"Shut up, Sanji. You were the one who made us walk around the food court for five years and then–" Ace growled as he looked at Sanji from the rear view mirror, then jabbed a thumb in Luffy's direction "stopped for two more years to pet a dog with this little shit."

Zoro snorted and folded his arms over his chest. He loved it when Sanji got called out on his bullshit, especially when Ace did it.

"How is this suddenly my fault, too?" Luffy groaned and threw his head back against the headrest of the car seat "I thought we were ganging up against Sanji."

Sanji gasped, outraged "That's not–!" his words died in his throat as he obviously couldn't find anything to say in return, so he limited himself to grit his teeth around the filter of his cigarette and mutter out "Get off my ass."

Zoro shook his head and looked over at Sanji "He's right, so just suck it up."

Sanji arched up an eyebrow "What do you want me to suck? Your cock?" he asked in his usual challenging tone.

Zoro quickly grabbed him by the collar of his fishnet shirt and yanked him closer to him "Quit being a smartass, or I'll fucking kill you!"

Sanji laughed in his face, taking the cigarette away from between his lips "You always say that, but you never actually do it!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Ace called out as he turned in his seat to look back at them "I'm seriously gonna murder both of you unless you shut the fuck up!"

Zoro let go of Sanji's shirt and dropped back against his seat, avoiding Sanji's gaze, and Sanji shook his head before taking a drag tobacco.

"You're fucking annoying, Jesus!" Ace groaned, then spotted a car backing up into the road. "Fuck yes!" he cried out victorious as he steered his own car into the direction of the now empty spot.

"Yes! Finally!" Luffy threw both his fists in the air and hit them on the roof of the car "Oops!"

"Luffy, stop denting my car!" Ace chastised him with a glare, then finally parked the car.

Zoro got out of the car before anyone else and quickly made his way to the club, leaving the others behind and absolutely not caring about what they could think.

Sanji was too much to handle for him, and not in terms of being attractive. No matter how much Zoro had tried to be nice and plan out that evening to make him feel better, Sanji always felt the need to piss him off more than anyone or anything else could. It was a gift that Sanji had, a shitty one, but still a gift.

Many times Zoro wondered why in the world he had to be in love with him, of all the people. Still, every time he asked himself that question, his own brain reminded him of all the good things about Sanji and how they made up for his terrible attitude. Not that Zoro himself was exactly a saint, he knew he could be an asshole just as much as Sanji, but at times like those Zoro needed to be away from Sanji to prevent things from getting seriously ugly.

He hoped that the couple of minutes away from Sanji and the others could be enough to blow off some steam, even though it was clearly impossible.

Zoro walked up to the queue and scanned the people standing ahead of him. He could recognize quite a few faces, and most of them were people who usually showed up at their shows or hung out at the same places that Zoro and the others went to.

When he spotted a particularly familiar green head he really hoped that Perona and Hancock weren't around to torment both he and Luffy. Now that he was thinking about it he definitely hoped that Duval wouldn't be there either, or else Sanji would have been tailed and haunted by his number one fanboy.

Zoro was just trying to peek from over the people in line before him to see if he could spot any unwanted company when he felt someone yanking really hard at the hem of his leather jacket. Zoro put on his murderous glare and whipped around really hard, ready to punch a bitch, but realized just in time that it was just his little brother.

"You're extremely rude, you know that?" Luffy scowled at him and folded his arms over his chest.

"And you were gonna be punched stupid, you know that?" Zoro answered as he fixed his jacket and pretended like Sanji hadn't just stepped beside Luffy.

"He's right, why did you run away like that?" Sanji quirked an eyebrow and dropped the burnt out butt of his cigarette on the concrete.

Zoro ignored him and turned back around only to see Bartolomeo flailing his arms and waving at them with the biggest grin ever plastered on his face.

"Your admirer is here." Ace snorted, and Zoro glared daggers at him.

"You could actually get laid tonight, for once. Play your cards wisely." Sanji commented from behind Zoro.

It took all of Zoro's self control to ignore those words and keep from starting a fight with Sanji.

Bartolomeo seemed to be in company of other people who made him blush extremely hard and that he proceeded to argue with right away. Zoro thought he knew a couple of the voices that were teasing Bartolomeo, but he couldn't quite place them, especially since he couldn't care less. At least they weren't feminine voices with annoying laughs.

Until...

"Horohorohorohoro!"

Zoro's blood froze in his veins and his entire body stiffened, rooted to the spot he couldn't even muster up the strength to turn around and face her. They were both there, Perona and Bartolomeo were there and Zoro didn't know how his night could turn worse, not even if he tried to think about it.

He could hear Sanji laugh into the back of his hand, while Ace held it in and Luffy openly let out a bark of laughter.

"Oi, where were you last time we played?" Luffy asked, and Zoro was deciding whether biting off his tongue and dying on the spot was worth it.

"I had work to do, unfortunately!" Perona replied "I was modeling out of town for a goth clothing line."

Zoro was holding his breath as if it helped him disappear or maybe camouflage to the rest of the environment like a chameleon, but Perona grabbed him by his elbow and tugged sharply on it.

"Turn around, you rude idiot!" the girl growled, and Zoro turned around with a defeated, miserable look in his eyes.

"Hey..." Zoro hummed, making Sanji burst out in a throaty laugh that had him bent over with his hands on his knees.

Zoro was cursed, there couldn't be a different explanation to being so shit out of luck.

"We're going to a club, not a funeral! Cheer up!" Perona poked Zoro's cheek with a smirk.

Zoro conjured up all of his will power in order to not grab Perona's wrist and snap each one of her skinny fingers when something suddenly caught his and everyone else's attention.

A group made up of a girl and two guys approached them, and as soon as they were within hearing reach the girl spoke up.

"Hey you," she pointed at Sanji "yes you, blondie."

Zoro perked up and forgot completely about Perona.

"I have a name, darling." Sanji replied as he pulled a cigarette out and prepared to light it up.

The girl shrugged off Sanji's words and went on "You're the guy who dressed in drag last night at the Metal Mayhem." her tone was harsh and cold, and Zoro could smell trouble.

Sanji's eyebrows arched up as he puffed on his cigarette "That would be me, yeah." he exhaled the smoke from the corner of his mouth, making sure that he wasn't going to blow it directly at the girl's face.

"I still wonder why the fuck a pillow biter like you would hit a stage," she spilled out, venomous, making everyone stare at her in disbelief. "You're a fucking freak."

Zoro's jaw tightened almost painfully, and as he was really tempted to keep on glaring at the girl, he couldn't help but throw Sanji a glance.

Sanji looked impassive, but Zoro could tell that his lips had tightened just slightly around the filter of his cigarette. His nostrils had somewhat flared and his hands were both clenched into fists as they rested burrowed inside Sanji's pockets.

Zoro knew that Sanji was strong and that he could definitely fend for himself (and he actually always could do that) but those words were like a kick in the stomach and he could tell that they threatened to reopen old wounds, and send both he and Sanji back to when they went to school. Back to when Sanji was constantly bullied by way too many people, made fun of by way too many girls he'd meant to woo.

"You see, sweet lady," Sanji puffed on his cigarette, he was so calm that it was actually scary "on stage, with my band, I do as I please." he replied in a simple, low voice.

The girl laughed, infecting the two young men who were standing by each of her sides, and the sound was cold and cruel, and it made Zoro's hands itch so bad that he had to tighten his fists even harder.

"No one wants to see a fucking faggot sway his hips on stage," the guy on the girl's right with black hair shook his head. "It's both creepy and ridiculous."

"Yeah, I pay for a metal show and I get what?" the other man, sporting long brown curly hair scowled at Sanji, eyeing him from head to toe. "A damn cock sucker swirling his skirt on a stage," he growled as he pulled a face "why don't you leave music to real men?"

Zoro's eyes darkened as he felt anger wash over his body and hatred pumping through his veins. He wanted to speak up, he wanted to beat those ignorant idiots to a pulp, but he also knew that Sanji wouldn't have wanted him to do any of those things. So Zoro bit his tongue and dug his nails into his palms, he could feel the skin ripping but he didn't care, it didn't even hurt a bit.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Luffy bursted all of a sudden "Sanji's more of a man that you'll ever be, you assholes!" his face was twisted in anger as he stepped ahead.

Zoro would have stopped Luffy or called him out, only to keep Sanji's pride intact, but his little brother had every right to back up a friend. He glanced at Ace whose eyes looked blacker than ever, he had assumed an hostile stance but he was holding back for the exact same reason as Zoro.

"Fucking hell, you have midgets protecting you?" the girl guffawed as she pointed at Luffy, and the boy bared his gritted teeth in response.

"You're the rudest girl I've ever met, you might be as pretty as you want but you're disgusting!" Perona suddenly sneered as she scanned all three of them "And the same goes for you bastards."

Everyone turned their heads to look at Perona, Zoro would have lied if he'd said that he wasn't pleasantly surprised to hear her defend Sanji like that, for some reasons he didn't think she would ever do that.

"Perona..." Sanji half whispered as he stared at the pink haired girl.

"He even has girls defending him, this just gets better by the moment!" the brown haired guy laughed along with his two friends.

"Watch your mouth!" Sanji snarled as soon as they started laughing at Perona.

Zoro's head whipped in Sanji's direction. He could tell that he was slowly losing his temper, but Zoro knew it wasn't for the insults directed at him but to those that concerned his friends, especially when they aimed them at Perona.

"Or what?" the girl challenged him.

"He'll hit you with his purse, of course." the black haired guy snorted.

"That's the best you can come up with? Really?" Sanji half-laughed.

"You think you're scary?" the man went on, an amused look on his face "Go back to work the streets, you mattress muncher!" he shook his head "He's wearing a fucking fishnet shirt, the faggot! That'll bring loads of customers!"

It was then, when that last sentence was uttered that Zoro's vision went red and he acted out of sheer impulse, punching the guy so hard in the face that he collapsed on the ground, groaning in pain and holding his bleeding nose with both hands.

Years and years of training with Mihawk had taught Zoro the importance of calm and focus, how keeping concentrated and not being driven by emotions allowed one to think with a cold mind and act or react in the rightest or best of ways. It was really too bad that when it came to Sanji all those precious teachings went down the toilet at the drop of a hat and Zoro turned into a ferocious beast.

 

 

_**To be continued...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you hate cliffhangers, we all do, but I promise you that I won't keep you in the dark for too long and I'll update soon, since I've had to split this chapter in two parts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised I tried to be as quick as I could with this update, so here we go! (I had also told myself that I wasn't going to write up very long chapters but then this 9300+ words chapter happened and here there you go!)

For a few minutes Zoro had no idea what had happened around him, all he knew was that he wanted to hit, hit and keep on hitting, completely forgetting what being in control meant.  
  
When the other man came at him he was able to dodge a couple of punches, until the man lying on the ground kicked Zoro in the shin, making him groan out in pain and lose his focus on the man who was standing, giving him the chance to finally hit Zoro in the face with his fist, splitting his lower lip open.  
  
Zoro didn't even flinch, he just spat out blood and proceeded to punch his standing opponent in the stomach, then when he bent over Zoro threw him a left hook that sent him back of at least three or four steps before the girl ran up to him and tried to keep him upright.

The guy on the ground kicked him in the shin all over again, but this time instead of losing his focus Zoro stomped on the thug's leg and kept pressing his foot down on it while he listened to the man's cries of pain and the sinister creaking of his bones.   
  
"Enough!" was all Zoro heard before he was literally swept to the ground by one of Sanji's powerful kicks, then he vaguely saw and heard Ace and Luffy sprinting forward to try and send the three punks away.  
  
Zoro grunted as he sat up and brushed his hands together to remove dust and small debris from his palms, then glared up at the two men limping away with the help of the girl.  
  
He was just about to stand up again when he felt a hand on his shoulder that made him quirk up an eyebrow.  
  
"Are you okay?"   
  
Zoro turned his head to find a flustered, distressed Bartolomeo crouched down beside him.  
  
"Uh... yeah. What are you doing here?" Zoro asked, confused. He didn't expect to find Sanji squatting at his level and being concerned about him, but he definitely didn't think that Bartolomeo was going to run all the way from where he was standing in line with his own friends.  
  
"W-well... I saw what happened and I just... Wanted to make sure that you were alright?" Bartolomeo quavered, as if he wasn't really sure about what he was actually saying.  
  
Zoro scowled at him and weakly shook his head, completely oblivious of why in the world Bartolomeo would be so damn concerned for him getting into a fight. It wasn't like he was made of crystal, and he could definitely handle himself.  
  
Bartolomeo's face turned a deep shade of red, panic clearly washing over him as he faintly raised a shaky finger to point at Zoro's mouth "Y-you're bleedin'..."  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow and rolled his tongue across his lower lip, it did sting a bit but nothing more. "It's just a scratch," he shrugged a shoulder "I'm fine." he patted Bartolomeo on the knee and watched him widen his eyes and twitch all of a sudden "Are you alright?"   
  
Bartolomeo opened and closed his mouth a couple of times without making a single sound. If Zoro's eyebrows could furrow any more they probably would have, since he had no idea what was up with the other man. He would have definitely tried to ask something more or at least shake him to try and make him come down from his shocked state but...  
  
"Oi, you shitty Marimo!" Sanji suddenly chimed in, grabbing Zoro by the collar of his shirt and yanking on it "What the fuck's gotten into you?"  
  
Zoro growled and glared up at Sanji "What do you think, shithead?"   
  
"I don't need you to fight my battles! I never did!" Sanji barked, his face twisted in anger.  
  
Of course he didn't. Of course he had to remind Zoro how much he didn't need him. "Well next time I'll let them demolish you, see if I give a fuck!"   
  
"Guys..." Bartolomeo murmured so weakly that Zoro barely heard him, but he did feel Bartolomeo's fingers squeeze lightly on his shoulder.  
  
Sanji's ears turned almost purple as he bared his teeth and tugged sharply on Zoro's shirt again "Next time you try to be a hero I'll bash your shitty moss-brains in!"   
  
"Sanji! Stop it!" Luffy cut in as he shoved Sanji until he fell on his ass. "Leave him alone!"  
  
Zoro glanced up at his little brother who looked as furious as ever, then over at Sanji who was sitting on the concrete looking deeply outraged by Luffy's actions.  
  
"Why don't you give Zoro a _single_ break?" Luffy asked as he spread his arms "Just stop attacking him for one damn second!" he added as he kept glaring daggers down at the offended blond.  
  
"It's alright, Luffy." Zoro sighed as he pushed himself up to his feet, immediately followed by the ever so concerned Bartolomeo who kept hovering around him like a shadow.  
  
"It isn't alright, Zoro!" Luffy growled, full of anger.  
  
Zoro decided that there was just no way to calm Luffy down, so he just rubbed circles on his own temple to ease off the beginning of a headache.  
  
"Luffy's right," Ace stepped in, and Zoro didn't even want to believe that it was actually happening. "You perfectly know how he gets when people attack you."   
  
Oh Christ, why did his brothers have to make everything ten times more awkward than it could have actually been? Zoro looked down at his boots, kicked a pebble, then accidentally held eye contact with Bartolomeo who was still staring at him with wide, worried eyes.  
  
"I wasn't attacked! No one lifted a finger on me!" Sanji retorted "He's the one who started a fucking fight, because he's a shitty moss-brain who needs to mind his damn business!" he added in the same angry tone that made Zoro want to punch him harder than he'd punched those punks.  
  
"They were definitely gonna start a fight, you dumbass!" Ace replied.  
  
"Verbal abuse is still an attack, idiot!" Perona suddenly chimed in, making Zoro's head snap up in her direction.   
  
He hadn't even noticed that she was still there, but at least she'd made Sanji's head lower in shame, or something similar.  
  
"We all know you're capable of fending for yourself, but don't give Zoro that shit!" Ace continued, after nodding at Perona's words.  
  
"Okay, are we done now?" Zoro jumped in, sick of the entire matter. "What happened can't be undone, let's shut up about it and just leave."  
  
"You're-you're leaving?" Bartolomeo stammered with a frown.  
  
"We certainly aren't staying here after Mr Shithead punched the shit out of two guys." Sanji explained harshly, earning a deadly glare from Zoro.  
  
"Sorry man." Zoro shrugged a shoulder and began to walk back to the car.  
  
"Can I tag along to wherever you're going?" Perona asked, a hint of genuine hope clearly audible in her voice.  
  
Zoro didn't even turn around to brutally destroy whatever hope she had "We're going home, so no. You cannot."  
  
"You're so rude, oh my God!" Perona cried out, indignant.  
  
"Zoro..." Ace called out.  
  
"What now?"   
  
"...the car's on the opposite direction."  
  
"Shit!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ride back home was quiet, awfully quiet, not even Luffy was uttering a word and the only sound that filled Ace's car was that of the radio.  
  
Zoro didn't turn to look at Sanji not even for a split second as he kept his eyes glued outside of the window.   
  
That was the complete opposite of how he had intended to end that day, but sometimes he felt like there really was no other way for things to go when Sanji was involved too. And maybe Sanji was right, maybe he needed to stop punching people to protect him, he needed to stop being so concerned if every single time he tried to defend his best friend he had to be repaid like that.  
  
It wasn't even like he expected anything in return, he didn't expect Sanji to fall into his arms and love him for eternity, he didn't even want him to be forever grateful to him, he just didn't want Sanji to attack him and be so horrible. It had always felt natural for Zoro to stand up to all the bullies who made Sanji's life a living hell, he just couldn't help it, and he knew it made Sanji feel weak and helpless but he couldn't stand the sight of his best friend being insulted and pushed around like that, holding back his tears of rage and making the palms of his hands bleed with his nails.  
  
But maybe that was Zoro's greatest fault: always being there for Sanji when Sanji clearly didn't want him. It hurt only to think about it, but it was probably true.  
  
Luckily enough he didn't have much time to ruminate over these sad thoughts, because the car stopped in front of his house and everyone climbed out of the vehicle, bringing Zoro back to reality.  
  
"Fuck, I forgot the keys..." Ace sighed as he patted each one of his pockets, then cocked an eyebrow at Luffy "I'm not even asking if you got yours."  
  
The younger boy put both hands behind his head and gave a chuckle in response that only served to make Ace roll his eyes.  
  
Sanji huffed and threw his head back in frustration "You got the keys, Marimo?"   
  
Zoro scowled over at him "Why? You're staying here?" he hadn't really seen that coming, he thought the cook was going to get in his own car and leave as soon as they got back.  
  
Zoro couldn't really tell if Sanji's cheekbones had seriously flushed a light shade of red or if it was just the streetlights playing a number on his sight, but Sanji did rock awakwardly on his heels and shrugged "Well you fucked up the club thing, so we party at your house." he explained with a shrug, not even directly looking at Zoro.  
  
"Hmm..." Zoro hummed as he studied Sanji's movements.  
  
It was then that the front door opened suddenly and a flustered Shanks appeared before them.  
  
"What are you...?" Shanks began, then cleared his throat "I didn't think you'd be back so early!"  
  
The four guys turned to stare at Shanks, but only one of them managed the courage to ask something that was probably buzzing in everyone's mind.  
  
"Were you guys... Going at it?" Ace's expression was both horrified and surprised.  
  
Shanks' face turned as red as his hair and his eyes widened comically "W-what?! No! Oh my... No! Ace what the hell?!"  
  
"Oh they were totally doing it..." Sanji half-giggled as he covered his mouth with his hand.  
  
"Jesus Christ..." Zoro squeezed his eyes shut and palmed his forehead as Sanji, Ace and Luffy chuckled behind him.  
  
"Stop it! Immediately! Or you'll sleep outside!" Shanks barked as he threatened to slam the door shut.  
  
"No, no, no! Sorry dad, really!" Ace pressed both hands on the door and bit back a laugh.  
  
"You damn idiot..." Shanks muttered as he pushed the door further open.  
  
"Wait," Zoro deadpanned before looking into Shank's eyes "Mihawk isn't walking around naked, is he?" he inquired, a hint of worry clearly audible in his tone.  
  
"Oh for God's sake! Enough with this crap, already!" Shanks cried out in an overdramatic voice "Either get in with your mouth shut or sleep in the car!"  
  
Sanji laughed out loud and pushed past Zoro who immediately glared a hole into the back of his skull before following right behind him.  
  
"Zoro what..." Shanks put a hand on Zoro's shoulder to stop him, then cupped his chin to get a closer look at his face "What's with the split lip? What the hell happened?" he squinted.   
  
Zoro shook Shanks' hand off and just proceeded to step inside the house before Sanji could chime in.  
  
"He went Wolverine on a couple bastards, that's what happened." Sanji chanted, then stretched out his arms "Hey, Mihawk!" he smirked at the man who had just come out of the kitchen sporting ruffled hair and an unbuttoned shirt.  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Cyclops!" Zoro sneered, then threw Mihawk a weirded out glance. He was well aware of the fact that he and Shanks were sexually active, still he didn't particularly like being reminded of it.  
  
Mihawk quirked up a sharp brow, shooting Zoro a suspicious glance "What did you do?"  
  
Zoro groaned and just went to the alcohol cabinet to grab a bottle of his favorite brand of rum.   
  
Ace followed behind Zoro to get an half empty bottle of gin and a couple of empty glasses "He got into a fight. Nothing new." he explained briefly, then moved to flop down onto the couch.  
  
"And you let your guard down, didn't you?" Mihawk commented in a monotone, folding his arms across his toned chest.  
  
Zoro grimaced "Give me a break!" he moved to sit next to Ace and almost in that exact moment Sanji dropped to sit beside him, nearly making the bottle slip from his grip.  
  
"What's the point of training then?" Mihawk shook his head dramatically.  
  
Luffy sat on the armrest of the couch on Ace's side "It wasn't a tournament, he was just defending Sanji's honor from some assholes who were insulting him." he explained simply.  
  
Ace snorted into his glass of gin, luckily for him he had just brought the drink to his lips, Zoro on the contrary, inhaled the burning liquor that went straight up his nose and threw him into a chest-racking fit of cough.   
  
Luffy's words made everything sound so incredibly pathetic that all Zoro wanted to do was bury himself under six feet of dirt and never come out.  
  
"M-my honor?!" Sanji turned to stare at Luffy as he had just been suddenly punched in the face.  
  
"Shit, why do people like this have to exist?" Shanks grumbled and shook his head "I'm sorry Sanji!" he frowned at him, then looked over at Mihawk and shrugged a shoulder "Zoro was probably too angry to focus."  
  
Oh God, why couldn't the couch and the floor just split and swallow Zoro there and then?  
  
Mihawk snorted "There's no such thing as being too angry to focus."  
  
"I'm not–! He didn't–!" Sanji sputtered as his face turned more and more red.  
  
Zoro knocked back the rest of his drink without even blinking, then poured himself another glass. What a terrible time to be sober.  
  
"Well he was furious, indeed." Ace nodded from above his drink   
  
Oh great, now he was hopping up on the bandwagon too.  
  
"Homophobic assholes." Luffy shook his head.  
  
"Just my favorite kind of people!" Shanks spat, his face twisted in a disgusted expression.  
  
Zoro watched Sanji down his glass of gin, then grab Zoro's bottle of rum and fill the glass to the rim.   
  
"I wanted to bash their heads in, but Zoro was faster!" Luffy growled, then looked at the bottle of gin "Can I have some of that?" he hesitated as his eyes went up to Shanks and Mihawk.  
  
Shanks nodded firmly "Definitely! Let's all drink! In those bastards faces!"  
  
"What's happening?" Zoro wasn't even sure he had said that out loud as Mihawk shrugged and went to grab more glasses and another bottle.   
  
Oh Christ, they were going to get drunk with his parents.

 

 

* * *

 

 

An hour and a half later Shanks and Luffy were three sheets to the wind, standing on the coffee table and singing _Welcome To The Jungle_ at the top of their lungs while Mihawk nursed a brandy with one hand and rubbed circles on his temple with the other. Ace and Sanji were both wheezing on the floor and Zoro lay on the couch, holding his stomach in hysterics.  
  
Zoro wasn't that drunk but he definitely was very tipsy, he knew that Ace wasn't far too gone either but he was an extremely happy drunk, and by the shiny eyes and the red cheeks he could tell that Sanji was just as drunk as his little brother and father.   
  
Luffy and Sanji couldn't handle their liquor at all, they'd drink a few cocktails and start laughing, blabbing and stumbling like idiots. Shanks was a bit more like Zoro and Ace, but he had drank an entire bottle of red wine all by himself and was completely hammered.  
  
"We should go to bed." Mihawk tried to speak loudly enough to be heard over the out of key voices and all he got in response was Sanji laughing really hard as he repeated his words.  
  
Zoro clutched at his chest as he coughed and laughed at the same time, then Ace threw his head back and hit it into Zoro's knee, resulting in both of them groaning and cursing in pain, then laughing more than they were doing before.  
  
It seemed insane, but that day had suddenly taken a surprisingly nice turn and Zoro felt genuinely happy. He seriously thought that he hadn't felt that happy in a very long time, and in his tipsy state he couldn't help but smirk down at Sanji and casually run his fingers through his hair.  
  
Sanji looked up at him, beaming, with his half lidded eyes and hot red cheeks, and in his drunken stupor he grabbed Zoro's fingers and kissed the underside of his wrist before going back to watch the show in front of him.  
  
Zoro's heart skipped a beat, even if he knew that it didn't mean anything, it was just Sanji being his usual extremely cuddly self whenever he felt safe and happy, and the addition of booze didn't help. Still Zoro stared down at his wrist, then at the golden top of Sanji's head and smiled softly to himself.

Nothing could ruin that small perfect moment – except his younger brother slipping off the coffee table and falling butt first onto the floor and then throwing up everything he'd been keeping into his stomach, making everyone freeze and stare in horror.  
  
"Oh God, are you alright?" Shanks hopped off the table and Ace and Zoro quickly scrambled to their feet to get to the boy.  
  
"I... I'm hungry..." Luffy whined, making everyone groan.  
  
"No, you need to go the fuck to bed!" Mihawk thundered from his armchair "We all do!"  
  
"Ooh, grumpy, grumpy pants!" Sanji slurred from his seat on the floor "Shanks, make him happy, go on!" he flailed his hand in the direction of the stairs "Take him to bed!" he tried to wink but ended up blinking.  
  
"Oh my God..." Mihawk covered his eyes with his hand.  
  
"I'll take the young man to bed," Ace announced before looking over at Shanks "You okay with cleaning this up?"  
  
Shanks waved a hand and nodded "Yeah, yeah, yeah! It'll be a minute..."  
  
Zoro stared at the mess Luffy had made with a skeptical look, then gazed upon Sanji who had rested his chin on the coffee table. "I'll take the other one to bed..." he nodded and moved towards the blond.  
  
Sanji glanced up at him and sniggered "You cannot wait to get me into your bed!"  
  
Zoro felt the tip of his ears heat up but tried to shrug it off "Shut up, you're drunk." he grumbled as he helped him up.  
  
"We're all so incredibly gay, aren't we?" Shanks spoke as if he had just now made that discovery.  
  
"I really want a steak..." Luffy whimpered really quietly while he was all propped up in Ace's arms.  
  
"'xcept the little one." Sanji snorted and pressed his nose into the crook of Zoro's neck "You gonna carry me too?"   
  
Zoro shivered, then twirled Sanji around and steered him in the direction of the stairs "You got good legs, so walk."  
  
"Worst Marimo ev'r..." Sanji muttered as he started walking in the direction of the stairs.

Zoro did need to catch Sanji a few times and prevent him from splitting his face open on the steps, and as he listened to him giggle under his breath he knew that even if he tried not to care about Sanji with all of himself he would have failed miserably.  
  
When they finally reached Zoro's room, Sanji risked ripping his fishnet shirt apart during his attempt at taking it off, so that Zoro had to assist him once again.  
  
"Couldn't wait to get me out of these clothes, huh?" Sanji muttered as he lazily leaned against Zoro's firm figure, and raised his arms to let his shirt peel off easily.  
  
That wasn't exactly how Zoro had fantasized about undressing the blond, but it could have still worked.

"Shut up..." Zoro shook his head. Just when he was about to turn on his heels to get Sanji a spare shirt for the night, Sanji grabbed both his hands to keep him in place.  
  
"You gotta take off m' pants too... I can't..." Sanji's expression was so far from innocent that Zoro felt his entire body being shaken by the chill of excitement.  
  
"Just..." Zoro tried really hard not to sound as hoarse as he did, so he cleared his throat and gestured to the bed "Sit down, you can definitely undress on your own."   
  
"But I don't want to..." Sanji's voice had got lower, warmer and way too suggestive.  
  
Zoro stiffened, holding his breath for a few moments and telling himself that drunk Sanji might have wanted that, but he didn't, because nothing good could ever come out of that situation. "I don't care, you spoiled little bastard. Take off your clothes on your own." he shook Sanji's hands off and moved to browse through his drawers.  
  
Zoro heard some mumbling and a faint rustling of fabric being tugged and tossed, then once he had found a clean t-shirt through the chaos of his commode, he pulled it out and turned around in order to hand it to Sanji. "There... You can use this."  
  
Sanji grabbed the shirt "Thanks..." he pulled it on, struggling just a bit, then looked up at Zoro with his big blue eyes and extended an arm towards him "C'mhere..."   
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows at him and didn't move from the spot he was rooted on.  
  
Sanji wriggled his fingers "C'mhere, you stupid moss-brain!" he repeated, this time the tone was less sweet and more... Well, _Sanji-like_.  
  
Zoro huffed and stepped ahead "What do you want?" Sanji grabbed a fistful of Zoro's shirt and tugged on it until he was bending, and their faces were way closer then necessary "Oi! What are you–"   
  
Sanji scrunched his face as he stared at Zoro's lips "Does it hurt?"   
  
Zoro had nearly forgotten his own name in that moment, so his split and rapidly bruising lip didn't even cross his mind in that moment "What are you talking about?" he grimaced as he tried to read Sanji's expression.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm an asshole."   
  
Zoro's eyebrows shot up so high that they nearly disappeared into his hairline, and he was unable to spit out a witty comeback.  
  
Sanji shook his head "Thank you for what you did, Marimo..." he licked his own lower lip, then looked up into Zoro's puzzled eyes "I know you did it 'cause you care, and I'm an asshole."  
  
Zoro blinked, and opened and shut his mouth a couple timed before being able to sputter anything "Y-you... What–?"  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "I said thank you, you idiot!" then he simply tugged again on Zoro's shirt and closed the distance between them.  
  
Zoro was paralyzed. Completely petrified. He had no idea what to do or think. He could feel Sanji's lips pressed flush against his own, he was so aware of their mouths glued together that he could also feel that Sanji's labret was digging into his injured lip, but he didn't even flinch. He held so still that Sanji pulled back to scowl up at him.  
  
"C'mon Marimo, loosen up..." Sanji croaked "You're a terrible kisser, you know that?"  
  
That was it, it had always been all a challenge between them, and as soon as Sanji teased him, Zoro pinned Sanji down onto the mattress and bit down on Sanji's lower lip.  
  
"Oh, yes!" Sanji laughed and looped his arms around Zoro's neck, opening his mouth as he welcomed Zoro's tongue inside.  
  
The kiss was rough, driven by the thrill of the challenge and how much Zoro craved for Sanji's entire being. Their teeth clashed together a couple times in the heat of the moment, their tongue studs clicked together, they nipped and sucked and licked, and Zoro thought he was going to lose his mind.   
  
Sanji wrapped a leg around Zoro's waist and with the force of his powerful muscles he pushed him flush against his own body.  
  
There was no way to ignore how hard they both were, especially when Sanji ground up against Zoro's denim clad crotch, moaning softly into his mouth.

"Z-Zoro..." Sanji panted against Zoro's lips.  
  
Sanji rarely called him by his name, and when he did he sure as hell didn't sound so erotic. Hearing his name leave Sanji's lips in that tone and in that moment made Zoro groan out long and loud, as he dipped his tongue inside the blond's mouth and kissed the air out of his lungs.  
  
Zoro's lower lip was probably hurting, maybe even bleeding, but in that moment all he could feel was Sanji's mouth against his own and how his hands were desperately scraping and pulling at Zoro's shirt as he tried to tug it off. They broke off the kiss only so that Zoro's shirt could be removed and discarded God knows where around the room, Sanji dug and dragged his nails down the elaborated tiger tattoo that took up Zoro's entire back, making him growl low in the back of his throat and rock his hips down into Sanji's.  
  
"Fuck!" Sanji choked on his words, his fingers running up Zoro's shoulders before he could reach up to lick and bite the sensitive skin of Zoro's neck.  
  
Zoro couldn't think straight, not with Sanji's teeth and tongue on his neck, not while they were rutting against one another like that.   
  
Sanji's hand sneaked between them to undo Zoro's belt, failing a couple of times in his intoxicated state, then succeeded in loosening Zoro's jeans enough to slip his hand inside them and grab Zoro's erection.  
  
"Shit..." Zoro ground his teeth and pressed his forehead against Sanji's shoulder.  
  
"You're so fucking hard," Sanji commented, and Zoro could practically hear the shit-eating grin. "And big..." he added, making Zoro's already heated up face burn even more.  
  
"Sh-shut up!" Zoro sneered, trying not to rock into Sanji's hand.  
  
"Learn to take a fuckin' compliment, Marimo!" Sanji chastised him, then thumbed at the slit of Zoro's cock, making him jerk under his touch. "I wanna suck it..." Sanji pressed his lips against Zoro's temple "Let me suck it, c'mon..." he drawled in that hot tone of his.  
  
It was when Zoro heard him slur out his sentences that the reality of things slapped him right across the face.   
  
"No," Zoro pulled back and shook his head "no, you're drunk. We shouldn't be doing this." he held Sanji's wrist and pulled his hand out of his boxers.  
  
The look Sanji gave him was that of pure shock "I'm not drunk, you shit-head!"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow "Yeah right, and I'm straight."  
  
"You probably are!" Sanji spat as he narrowed his eyes at Zoro "You just... you didn't want me to suck your dick!" he muttered, then pouted like a kid who had just been denied his candy "I'm really good at sucking dicks..." he whispered.  
  
Zoro let his eyes drop shut "I don't..." he huffed, then shook his head "I'm not gonna take advantage of you like this, just 'cause you're drunk." he shrugged a shoulder "I don't wanna be like all the others."  
  
Sanji stared up at him in silence for what felt like an eternity. Zoro didn't know if he'd understood everything he'd said but he didn't like the uncomfortable silence, so he rolled off of Sanji and sat on the edge of the bed.   
  
After that, Mihawk definitely couldn't say that he had no self-control, next time he'd heard him say that, Zoro was gonna punch him.  
  
He rubbed his face with both hands, then took off his already opened jeans and tossed them over the pile of Sanji's clothes.  
  
"Marimo..." Sanji murmured so softly that it made Zoro shiver.  
  
"What?" Zoro sighed, still giving him his back.  
  
"You're not gonna sleep somewhere else, right?"   
  
Was it fear that Zoro heard in Sanji's voice, or was he just imagining things?  
  
Zoro turned to scowl at Sanji "This is my bed, why would I?"   
  
Sanji stared up at the ceiling and nodded "Good..."  
  
Zoro blinked a few times, then moved to switch off the lights before lying down next to Sanji. He didn't know if things were going to get weird between them after what had happened, but he sure as hell hoped not.  
  
"I..." Sanji started, paused for a moment, then sighed "Ugh, the room's spinning." he pressed both hands against his face and Zoro snorted.  
  
"Told you you're drunk as shit."   
  
"Argh, make it stop!" Sanji cried as he curled against Zoro and buried his face into the crook of his neck.  
  
Zoro froze for a moment, then wrapped an arm around the blond. "I can't, but calm down... It'll pass." he spoke softly as he rubbed soothing circles on Sanji's arm.  
  
They stayed like that, quiet, Zoro's hand never stopped caressing Sanji, trying to soothe him, and at one point he actually assumed he'd finally fallen asleep.  
  
"You know what?" Sanji spoke at last, voice thick with drowsiness.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"When I die.... I wanna be buried with white lilies." Sanji slurred out, as simply as that.  
  
Zoro's eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed "That's morbid as fuck, why are you even saying that?"  
  
Sanji gave a one-sided shrug "Just lettin' you know... I don't want any other flowers on my grave."  
  
Zoro gave a long, drawn out sigh, and decided to just roll with it as he pinched the bridge of his nose "And why is that?"  
  
"B'cause..." Sanji lifted his head briefly, just to readjust himself against Zoro "They were mom's favorite flowers..."  
  
Zoro's stomach twisted uncomfortably and regretted asking the reason for Sanji's choice of flowers right away. He didn't want Sanji to dig into painful memories, not even while being drunk.  
  
"And also 'cause white lilies symbolize purity... And innocence." Sanji sighed, placing a hand flush on Zoro's chest "And since I'm so far from being pure and innocent, I'd like to have those two things back... At least when I'm dead."  
  
Zoro's chest clenched so hard that the wind was knocked out of him. The boldness and the pain in Sanji's words hit Zoro like a train, so much that he didn't even know how to respond to that.   
  
Sanji didn't like being the way he had become, Zoro had always suspected it and now he could say that he was completely sure of it.  
  
"You're not a whore, Sanji." Zoro almost whispered as he squeezed Sanji's shoulder "I didn't mean that..."  
  
Sanji let out a choked little laugh, then sniffled "It's alright...."  
  
"And what those assholes said tonight," Zoro shook his head slightly "that was a bunch of crap. You're a real man and a great singer." showering people in compliments was completely out of question for Zoro, no matter who that person might have been, but in that moment he felt that he had to.  
  
Sanji hummed and squirmed softly, pressing his lips to Zoro's neck as a silent thank you. Zoro turned his head and pressed a kiss to Sanji's forehead really hard, refusing to pull back.  
  
"Stupid Marimo..." Sanji murmured as he placed his hand on Zoro's shoulder.  
  
"Go to sleep, idiotic Cook..." Zoro said softly as he carded his thick fingers through Sanji's long, messy hair.  
  
His arousal was long forgotten by then, completely replaced by a racing heart and the want to protect Sanji from anything and anyone at all costs, even if it was impossible. If he had told himself that he was going to try and care less about Sanji, that he needed to try and cool down his feelings for him, in that moment he knew exactly why he couldn't do it.  
  
Zoro only allowed himself to give in to sleep once Sanji's breathing had slowed down and he was sure that the blond was asleep, quickly drifting off into a peaceful, dreamless slumber while holding Sanji in his arms.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey..."  
  
Zoro couldn't quite place the voice that had been trying to wake him up for the past minutes, it sounded definitely familiar, but he was so completely enraptured in his sleep that he just couldn't recognize whose voice it was.  
  
"C'mon, Zoro! Wake up!"   
  
Zoro felt the mattress dip beside him, and he couldn't help but burrow his face into the pillow with an annoyed grunt.  
  
"Let me sleep, Cook." Zoro croaked out as he flipped on his other side.  
  
"I'm Ace, you dumbass!"  
  
Zoro's eyes snapped open and he suddenly sat up "What the–?" then he groaned and placed a hand on his forehead, sitting up so quickly after having just woken up definitely hadn't been the best of ideas.  
  
Ace stared at him for some seconds, then shook his head with a sigh "Sanji left earlier, he seemed to be quite in a hurry."  
  
Zoro could have sworn he had felt his heart stop for a few moments as panic washed over him. It was Sunday, after all, why would Sanji leave so suddenly if he hadn't regretted what had happened the night before?  
  
"Oi, you with me?" Ace asked as he waved a hand in front of Zoro's eyes "...something's up, right?"   
  
Zoro looked at his brother, then covered his face with both hands and flopped back down dramatically on the bed.  
  
"Did you two...?" Ace raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened as his mind computed the various possible conclusions that could have made both Sanji and Zoro react like they had. "Oh God, you did!"  
  
Zoro groaned and removed one hand from his face to punch his brother in the side "Shut up!"  
  
"Ow! You asshole!" Ace moaned as he bent over, holding his hurting side, then returned the blow, aiming it at Zoro's hip.  
  
"Ow, fuck you!" Zoro cried out as he glared at Ace.  
  
"No, you fucked Sanji!" Ace growled as he massaged his ribs.  
  
"I did not!" Zoro barked back at him.  
  
Ace furrowed his eyebrows as he scanned his brother like a lie detector. "Well what happened then?"  
  
Zoro groaned and ran his fingers through his hair in distress "Why would you even think that? Of all the times he's slept here!"  
  
Ace rolled his eyes "Maybe 'cause you were drunk and the whole thing from outside the club happened?"  
  
Zoro's eyes darkened as he deadpanned "So a drunken pity fuck?"  
  
Ace threw his arms in the air "Oh God! That's not what I meant! Stop putting bullshit in my mouth!"   
  
Zoro scrubbed a hand over his face and turned to see the time: 11:15. "At what time did he leave?"  
  
Ace shrugged a shoulder "I casually bumped into him while I was going to the bathroom earlier," he scrunched his lips and glanced up at the ceiling as he tried to remember "probably around... I don't know, 8? Or earlier?"  
  
Zoro blinked and stared down at the pillow that Sanji had used that night. He couldn't really say he was surprised, but he had kind of hoped that Sanji wouldn't have ran away like that.  
  
"Hey, maybe he was just busy," Ace suggested as he tilted his head in search of Zoro's distracted gaze. "Maybe he had to go to the Baratie!"  
  
Zoro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose "We didn't fuck, I swear..." he began as he decided to finally share what had happened. "There was kissing and..." Zoro swallowed thickly and a shiver ran down his spine as he recalled images and feelings from the night before "...and there was grinding, but nothing else."  
  
Ace stared at his brother in disbelief, his mouth hanging slightly until he decided to finally speak "Why did you... Fall asleep before or?" Zoro shook his head and Ace widened his eyes "Why... How did you stop?!"  
  
Zoro grimaced and rubbed at his brow with his fingertips "I stopped him when he stuck his hand down my boxers." then he huffed at Ace's expression "Stop staring at me like that! We were drunk! Especially him! It wasn't fair, and it wasn't how I wanted it to happen!"  
  
Ace stared at Zoro in silence, with his lips pressed together in a thin line and furrowed eyebrows, then shook his head slowly.  
  
"What?!" Zoro growled out in frustration.  
  
"You're a fucking hero, little brother." Ace admitted at last.  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "Eh?! What are you on about?"  
  
Ace smiled softly and clapped a hand on Zoro's shoulder "I mean it, Zoro. What you did... Other people might have just gone for it, just because they would have seen their chance." he squeezed Zoro's shoulder and nodded "You're a good man."  
  
Zoro's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and if his eyes could have widened even more they would have probably popped out of their sockets. "Shut the fuck up, you idiot!" he slapped Ace's hand away, but his reaction only served to make his brother laugh out loud.  
  
"I'm not making fun of you, really." Ace placed a hand on his heart, as if he was swearing that he only spoke the truth "I seriously think that you're the best thing that happened to Sanji."  
  
Zoro snorted really loud "Yeah right, he's so lucky to have me."  
  
Ace's eyebrows raised "He is! And he knows it too!" then he shrugged a shoulder "He just doesn't like to show it."  
  
Zoro glared at his brother "Could you stop sugarcoating this for me?" he grabbed his cellphone and frowned when he found out the battery was completely dead. He had forgotten to charge it the night before, of course. "I know he couldn't give less of a shit." he muttered as he plugged in his cellphone.  
  
"You're such a pessimist!" Ace groaned as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Maybe, but you're too much of an optimist." Zoro didn't know whether he should have turned on his cellphone or not. Maybe he would have found a missed call or a text from Sanji telling him he was sorry for leaving so suddenly. Or maybe there wouldn't have been anything and Zoro wasn't quite ready to have his morning ruined.  
  
Ace sighed and shook his head "Whatever." he pushed himself off the bed and stood up, cracking his neck before turning to face Zoro again. "Speaking of optimism..."  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow as he looked up from his cellphone "Hm?"  
  
"You should tell Kidd that we are gonna tour with them." Ace beamed down at his brother.  
  
"Oh!" Zoro blinked a few times as he remembered about Freakshow's proposal, then scowled down at his cellphone again as he remembered about Sanji ensuring Kidd's offer. "Yeah I..." he paused for a moment as he decided to just put the cellphone on the nightstand and get up "I'll call him after coffee and a shower."  
  
Ace nodded with that proud older brother look of his "Let's make some before Luffy wakes up and makes a mess in the kitchen."  
  
Zoro snorted and followed his brother.

Whatever, he needed a small break from Sanji if he wanted to preserve his mental health, he could deal with him later.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sanji dropped two tablets into a glass of water and glared down at it as if it had personally wronged him, while he tried to gather up all the memories he had from the night before.  
  
A few images had slapped him awake in the morning and Zoro's heavy arm and leg slung over his body had contributed to throw Sanji into sheer panic, making him scramble out of bed and get out of the house as soon as he could.  
  
"What a fucking idiot!" Sanji cried as he rested his head against the cupboard, eyes falling shut as an uneasy weight settled into his stomach, combined with the awful hangover he'd been nursing since he'd first blinked his eyes open.  
  
Sanji was terrible at handling his liquor, more than he cared to admit, no matter his physique and how often he drank it still took him just a few drinks to lose it. The good thing was that he could still remember what had happened, even if not in the smallest of details, and knowing that he hadn't gone all the way with Zoro was slightly comforting.  
  
How could he be so incredibly stupid? Of all the people he had hit on Zoro, the only off limits man in his life, the only one he cared so much about that he didn't want to mess things with by getting physical.  
  
God he so hoped that Zoro didn't hate him now. He probably had been right to call Sanji a whore if he couldn't even keep his hands off his best friend.  
  
Sanji sucked in a deep breath and brought the glass to his lips to down the aspirins, but as soon as he did so, he had a sudden flashback of himself asking Zoro if he could suck his dick. Useless to say that the water went up his nose, making him choke and cough for a solid minute.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Zeff's voice suddenly came from somewhere behind Sanji, making him cough harder. Just what he needed in that moment.  
  
"W-weren't you at Baratie for brunch?" Sanji croaked out as he tried to even out his breathing, then wiped his lips on the back of his wrist.  
  
"I saw your car outside, so I came to see if you were alright." Zeff explained casually as he moved to sit down on a chair.  
  
"Why the fuck wouldn't I be?" Sanji asked, still not turning around. He stared down at the glass and squeezed his eyes shut as his brain brought up memories of him sneaking a hand into Zoro's boxers.  
  
"Because I thought you were gonna stay at your friends'." was Zeff's dry explanation "You might as well come help us out since you're here."  
  
Sanji sucked in a shaky breath and finally drank his medicine, grimacing at both the awful taste and his father's request. "You gotta give me a few minutes, then I'll come down."  
  
Sanji heard Zeff stand up "That's fine, but move your ass." and with this last sentence he stomped out of the kitchen and went back to the restaurant.  
  
Sanji waited to hear the front door click shut, then let himself sink to his knees on the floor. He wanted to claw at his face and bang his head into the counter for being so damn stupid.   
  
He had no idea what to do if he were to ruin things with Zoro, and sex ruined everything if done with people you actually care about. It creates expectations, awkwardness, the wrong type of attachment and Sanji didn't want that, he dreaded things to change between he and Zoro. That's why he always had sex with people he didn't know, with people who didn't care about him and he didn't care about, because it was only about that raw pleasure that both men craved and that was it. No bond, no strings attached, no useless feelings.  
  
Sanji couldn't believe how after all those years he could have been so foolish to just give in to his most primal instincts with Zoro. It wasn't even like he wasn't attracted to that Marimo bastard, because Zoro was way too fucking attractive in Sanji's opinion, but he had always been different from everyone else, he was special and far too important for Sanji to lose because of a fuck or anything else.  
  
Sanji rubbed his face with both hands then forced himself to stand back up and wash his face before getting ready for work – for once Zeff and his requests had actually been useful, Sanji definitely needed a distraction, staying alone with his own mind for too long was dangerous.  
  
He had also been thinking that he should have at least sent Zoro a text or something to apologize or let him know why he had left his house so suddenly and without even saying goodbye but... How? He couldn't write _'hey, sorry I left but I got so paranoid about us nearly banging that I had to leave'_. Maybe he shouldn't even mention the night before, maybe Sanji should have just pretended to be completely clueless and only say that he had remembered about his shift at Baratie and he had had to run.  
  
Yeah, that could work, he had been drunk after all, and Sanji often forgot about what he had done while being completely wasted that it would sound totally plausible.  
  
Sanji grabbed his phone, opened his convo with Zoro and scrolled up to re-read their past messages. He toyed with his tongue piercing, placing it between his teeth and rolling it around as he remembered the phone call from two nights before, how Zoro had assured him that he wasn't worthless and that he was more important that he thought he was. He remembered the blind rage with which Zoro had fought off the thugs who had insulted him so bad, and all of a sudden a knot formed in his throat.  
  
Sanji swallowed down the lump, or at least tried to, and with his free hand he rubbed at his stinging eyes. He definitely wasn't going to be able to forgive himself if he were to lose Zoro, he didn't know where he would have been without him.  
  
"Ah, shit..." Sanji growled as a single tear escaped his control and rolled down his cheek. He wiped it off and shook his head, drew in a few soothing deep breaths, then finally began to type in his message.  
  
 _'hey marimo, sorry i left so early and without a word, but i had promised the old fart i was gonna to the brunch shift and i had nearly forgotten about it. he would've killed me if i didn't show up.'_  
  
He hit the send button, then tapped his teeth down on his lipring a few times before adding something else.  
  
 _'i got a bitch of a hangover btw, how about you? i bet luffy and shanks feel like shit too haha'_  
  
Sanji scowled down at his own messages, unsure about whether they really sounded casual, but then he just stuffed the phone into his pocket and finished getting ready. He needed to stop thinking and just get to work already.  
  


 

 

* * *  
  


 

  
Sanji worked his ass out the entire morning and didn't even stop to eat his own lunch, as he decided to do both the brunch and the lunch shift.   
  
Focusing on cooking definitely helped him take his mind off other things and also made him feel very good about himself, since he was incredibly great at it. He baked, fried, boiled, arranged courses on the dishes and also took the time to wander around the tables to speak to the customers and make sure that everyone was enjoying their meals and there were no problems of every sort.  
  
Of course he smoked like a chimney, of course he cursed and argued with both his colleagues and his old man, especially when it started dawning on him that Zoro was probably ignoring his texts. Sanji had tried to think that Zoro was still asleep, that no matter what time it was Zoro still had to read them because he was completely dead to the world, but in Sanji's situation the quickest thing to assume was that Zoro was ignoring his very existence.  
  
"Fucking asshole, douchebag, dickwad, cocksucker, bastard..." Sanji muttered around the filter of an unlit cigarette as he thinly sliced a cucumber and fantasized about chopping off Zoro's dick. Or maybe he was actually hating on himself but he couldn't admit it.  
  
"Damn eggplant, you're supposed to slice that cucumber not blend it!" Zeff barked from over his shoulder.  
  
Sanji was so deep in his own thoughts that Zeff's voice scared him so much that he accidentally clipped his forefinger.  
  
"Fuck!" Sanji cried out as he dropped the offending knife on the cutting board and wrapped his other hand around the injured finger, while the cigarette he had been keeping between his lips lied forgotten on the floor.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Zeff groaned as he tried to grab Sanji's finger himself.  
  
"Fuck off! It's your fault, you shitty geezer!" Sanji growled venomous as he stormed out of the kitchen and into the toilet, sucking on the small yet profusely bleeding wound.  
  
He locked himself inside the toilet ignoring Zeff's banging on the door, then immediately ran his finger under the tap. He grimaced down at the wound and hung his head in defeat – he actually couldn't see how that day could turn any worse.  
  
Sanji was still holding his finger under the cold spray of the faucet and mentally cursing at himself and the rest of the world when his cellphone vibrated. Sanji quickly stuffed his other hand into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone to find a message from Zoro.  
  
"You fucker..." Sanji sneered as he opened the message.  
  
 _'oi cook, i was helping ace fix his car. it's alright, i figured as much. i didn't have a terrible hangover but I did have a headache, and luffy threw up his breakfast and lunch, while shanks slept 'til 2pm. bunch of losers.'_  
  
Sanji's eyes fluttered shut as he let out a shaky sigh. Zoro had finally answered, he wasn't avoiding him.  
  
He placed the cellphone on the small shelf below the mirror, turned off the water, then proceeded to look for the first-aid kit into the cabinet. A band-aid wrapped tightly around his finger did its job perfectly, and now that the cut was protected Sanji could finally grab his phone and move to sit on the closed toilet.  
  
 _'omg poor luffy, i hope he's better now. what was wrong with ace's car btw? it seemed fine to me.'_  
  
That was all that Sanji could type, and no matter for how long he stared down at the message he couldn't tell Zoro how scared he had been, how he'd accidentally clipped his finger because of how nervous and jumpy he'd been. Sanji rubbed at his forehead with the back of his hand then finally hit send. That small talk sounded kind of pathetic, but it was the only way to keep things the way they were between he and Zoro.  
  
He needed a smoke, badly. He would have gladly stuck four cigarettes between his lips and smoke them all at the same time. No matter what, he went with just one and made sure to open the small window, or else Zeff would have killed him for smoking into the toilet.  
  
Sanji's cellphone vibrated after the second drag of tobacco. He was starting to feel a little less tense, even though nicotine couldn't exactly work miracles.  
  
 _'he's better now, he and ace are playing master of puppets on their guitars. btw something was wrong with the brakes on ace's car._

_oh, i forgot to tell you that i spoke to eustass, we should meet up with them and discuss some tour stuff. let me know when you're free.'_  
  
Sanji's eyes got wider and wider as he read the text, he had completely forgotten about the entire deal with Freakshow, and now that it was all coming back to him he was slowly getting more and more nervous about what had happened with Law and what he had told Zoro.  
  
 _'yeah? you spoke to him? when do they wanna meet?'_  
  
He hit send so fast that the phone slipped from his hand but he managed to save it by kicking it back up and catching it again. God if his anxiety kept being so bad he was gonna need a drink, a damn strong one too.

Sanji puffed on his cigarette and focused on the smoke filling his lungs, keeping it in as much as he could, feeling it burn and scrape until he physically needed to exhale it in a long huff. His cellphone buzzed again and he cursed at it.  
  
 _'...i just asked you when is it that you could be free? they haven't decided yet. some time this week, he needs to check in with the others and then he'll let me know. i just asked nami when's a good time for her too.'_  
  
Sanji blinked for a moment, then scrolled up to re-read the previous message that Zoro had sent. He seriously needed to chill out if he couldn't even read and compute a text properly. Sanji tugged and chewed on both his oral piercings as he tried to think when it could have been a good time for him to skip a shift or anything, then started tapping away on his phone.  
  
 _'right, oops. mm can't do tomorrow, and on tuesday we had practice planned? i dont know... maybe wednesday? unless we reschedule practice.'_  
  
Sanji wasn't exactly looking forward to spending time with Law and Zoro in the same room, especially not after the Metal Mayhem night, but he was a good actor after all, he could definitely make things work.  
  
Suddenly there was some banging on the door again and Sanji flinched so hard that he hit the back of the head into the flush, activating it.  
  
"Shit!" Sanji hissed as he massaged the back of his head.  
  
"You damn Eggplant! What the fuck are you doing? Did you die?" Zeff barked from the other side of the door.  
  
Sanji groaned, exasperated "A man can't even take a shit now?"  
  
"That's one hell of a big dump, if you still haven't finished!" Zeff replied loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.  
  
"Fuck off!" Sanji barked as his cellphone vibrated in his hand.  
  
"I saw you cut yourself! Are you alright?" Zeff insisted, and Sanji wanted to crawl out of the window and run away.  
  
"Just leave me alone, for fuck's sake! I'm fine!" Sanji cried as he opened the text.  
  
 _'i guess wednesday could work, don't forget about it.'_  
  
Zeff did say something in return but Sanji couldn't hear it, as he was way too concentrated on texting.  
  
 _'i dont have a moss-brain, i'll remember.'_  
  
He didn't even have the time to stuff the mobile into his pocket that Zoro responded right away.  
  
 _'good._

_and next time you need to leave early wake me up and tell me.'_  
  
Sanji bit his lower lip and hung his head, before taking the last drag of cigarette and replying.  
  
 _'you need me that much, huh?'_  
  
He reached over to the sink and extinguished the cigarette with some water before throwing the wet filter into the trash.   
  
Zoro texted him back shortly after.  
  
 _'i just need to know that you're ok, dumbass.'_  
  
"Aww..." Sanji smiled softly and shook his head. Now he was feeling seriously sorry for leaving like that in the heat of the moment, but he had had his good reasons.  
  
 _'i'm fine marimo, but if it does make you feel better i'll do that next time. now i gotta go, zeff's being a pain.'_  
  
Sanji wasn't particularly looking forward to exiting the toilet, especially not after dramatically leaving the kitchen just like he had done. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep, especially now that adrenaline and anxiety were wearing off, leaving him completely powerless.  
  
Buzz buzz.  
  
 _'go ahead, shitty cook, don't anger him too much.'_  
  
Sanji rolled his tongue across his lower lip and finally pushed his phone into the pocket of his jeans, then rested his head back against the wall, letting his eyes fall shut. Yes, he definitely needed to go home, he had strained himself enough for the day.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't put warnings at the beginning because I didn't wanna spoil anything... OOPS!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I go again with another update! I hope I haven't left you hanging for too long, but I guess that the length of this chapter should make up for it. 
> 
> Anyway, since I don't do it enough I wanted to thank publicly my wonderful girlfriend again, because she's the one who keeps me sane while writing this story, the one who helps me develop plot and ideas and the one who pushes me to keep going. Thank you so much, babe. ♥
> 
> Then I'd like to thank you everyone of you who's left me any kind of feedback! You're all sweethearts and play a big role on keeping me motivated and inspired!
> 
> Now that I've gushed over y'all you're allowed to finally read this chapter, enjoy!

Monday went by painfully slowly, Zoro's mind was constantly somewhere else, clouded with memories and worry. He didn't hear much from Sanji, they exchanged a few texts but that was it. Even their lunch break ritual was nonexistent because Sanji was too busy to get an hour off during Zoro's.  
  
Zoro needed to see him, he needed to see for himself that things were actually okay between them, because Sanji was a very good actor and Zoro knew it.  
  
Had Sanji really forgotten about what had happened? It wasn't exactly rare for Sanji to completely forget about his drunken shenanigans, but you never know.  
  
Either way Zoro tried to immerse himself into work as much as he could to keep himself busy and focused on other things. He also decided to dedicate a few hours of Monday night to meditation, which was the best solution to any state of anxiety and paranoia – even if Luffy did try to break into his room a few times to try and get him to play Call Of Duty all together.  
  
Tuesday was even worse: Zoro couldn't wait to see Sanji but at the same time he didn't want to meet him because he was too scared of the outcome.  
  
At the gym he accidentally dropped a few barbells and other stuff, bumping into machines and benches like he was the clumsiest person on earth – thing that he definitely wasn't, and everyone kept on insisting that he should take a break because he looked sick.  
  
Zoro spent lunch alone even that day, because apparently Sanji's shift had been changed for that week, since one of his colleagues was on sick leave. Zoro had arrived at that point in which he couldn't help but think that Sanji was blatantly lying about everything only to avoid Zoro as much as he could.  
  
Well at least there would have been band practice at night, there was no escaping that. Zoro would have tried to talk to Sanji, make sure that things could be fixed and everything, then he would have finally felt at peace.  
  
Zoro only needed to hang on a few more hours, and having to dedicate himself completely to teaching Kendo to kids was definitely going to help him not think about anything.  
  
He had just worn his kendogi when he heard his cellphone vibrating from inside his bag. Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, then looked up at the clock placed above the lockers to see how much time he had left before the lesson – thirteen minutes should have been enough.  
  
Zoro grabbed his cellphone and checked the message in the group conversation named _Crows_.  
  
 _'guys im terribly sorry but tomorrow i have an important test and i'm still studying for it. i won't make it to practice :/ i'll do my best to come along on wednesday.'_  
  
The message was from Nami and apparently Zoro was the first one to read it. Well it wouldn't have been the same without the keyboards, but they could still make it work for once.  
  
Zoro was just about to reply when a message from Sanji popped up all of a sudden.  
  
 _'um actually i have a bit of a problem too... two more guys got sick, it must be a virus or some shit, so we're a bit short-staffed and i can't come tonight. but tomorrow night i'll be there for sure, even if i have to kill zeff, i'll make it.'_  
  
Zoro's heart sunk to his stomach, he wanted to believe Sanji even if he couldn't, he wanted to think that fate had been such a cruel bitch that it made everything worse for Zoro, but the more he read the message the more he got nauseous and he needed to throw the cellphone into the bag and leave the changing room.

Useless to say that Zoro held a particularly tough lesson, squeezing his students like lemons and leaving most of them to fall to the floor gasping for air once he decided to call it a night and finally leave them free to go home.  
  
Zoro watched each one of his students leave to go back to the changing room, then took his time to slowly and minutely put back every single shinai and tool that had been used during the lesson, only to hold back from going there himself and having to deal with his cellphone.  
  
"Do you plan on sleeping here?"  
  
Zoro let his eyes drop shut and sucked in a breath, refusing to turn around and face Mihawk "So what?"  
  
"Don't be a smartass and just get out of here, already."  
  
Zoro picked up the last training sword from the floor "Leave me alone, if you wanna go home just go. I'll go back by myself." he grunted as he put the sword back in the basket, then walked to the other side of the room.  
  
"Another argument with the blond?"  
  
Zoro froze and stared ahead of him, he could see his father's severe expression reflecting into the mirror so he quickly looked away "It isn't always about him." he muttered as he moved over to the barbells and started arranging them by weight.  
  
"It _is_ always about him." Mihawk didn't sound exasperated as usual, he actually sounded somewhat sorry for his son. "You should think about yourself more."  
  
Just when Zoro thought he couldn't feel worse Mihawk had to come along and turn up the heat. "I do! I think about myself all the time!" Zoro growled, still refusing to turn around.  
  
There was a moment of silence, then Zoro heard Mihawk's steps walking away from him before he spoke again "Let's just go home, you need to get some rest."  
  
Zoro glared down at the barbells, then turned his head to see his father disappearing into his office, probably to gather his things before leaving. 

Mihawk was right, maybe he should have just slept all that anger and anxiety off, so he finally decided to change his clothes and thoroughly ignore his cellphone.  


 

 

  
* * *

 

 

  
  
Zoro and Mihawk didn't speak during the ride back home even if the tension was palpable, and the background sound of Zoro's cellphone vibrating every now and then from where it lay buried into one of the pockets of the bag made everything worse.  
  
As soon as Mihawk shut the car down Zoro was already outside, opening the front door and being greeted by Luffy's enormous pout of disappointment.  
  
"I was so happy we had practice tonight." was the first thing that Luffy said, and Zoro couldn't help but grimace at his words  
  
"Hi yourself." Zoro said as he dropped his bag below the coat rack and moved to the kitchen to get a beer.  
  
"Hey," Ace greeted him with a small and unsure smile as soon as he saw him walk past the threshold.  
  
"Hey." Zoro replied dry as he stopped in front of the fridge to grab a can of lager.  
  
"Oh look, the sun just entered the room." Shanks commented sarcastically and earned a deadly glare from Zoro in return "Who pissed in your cereals?"  
  
"Sanji, apparently." Mihawk announced as he walked up to Shanks and peeked at what was cooking on the stove.  
  
"Mm, that's brand new information!" Shanks replied as he placed a kiss to Mihawk's temple, then turned to Ace "Was it Sanji who called practice off, then?"  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and shut the fridge harder than necessary "You do realize I'm standing right here?"  
  
Ace sighed and dropped his head before answering to Shanks "Well, he and Nami both. They're busy, so..." he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"What's the big deal?" Shanks scowled at both his sons "It's not the first time, you probably had to skip it yourselves!"  
  
"Yeah, of course..." Ace waved a hand, then looked over at Zoro who was staring at him dead in the eye. "It's just... Between Zoro and Sanji."  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake..." Zoro huffed as he shook his head and stepped over to the door.  
  
"Why?" Shanks raised an eyebrow, gaze wandering from Ace to Zoro "Where are you going?"  
  
"To sleep, don't you dare disturb me." Zoro deadpanned as he left the kitchen and found Luffy sitting at the bottom of the stairs. "Why are you sitting here?" Zoro frowned down at him.  
  
Luffy suddenly beamed up at him "Wanna kick some ass on Call Of Duty?"  
  
Zoro blinked at the request, he was expecting his little brother to keep sulking over band practice "But... Dinner's almost ready." not even Zoro was sure about the nonexistent argument he was trying to put up.  
  
"I can eat later, I don't mind," Luffy waved his hand and stood up "let's go!" he cried out as he ran upstairs to Zoro's room.  
  
Zoro shook his head, a small smirk curled his lips as he began to climb up the stairs himself.  
  
"Zoro!"  
  
Zoro sighed and stopped, looking at Ace from over his shoulder "I'm not hungry."  
  
"I know," Ace nodded, making it clear that he wasn't going to try and convince Zoro to have dinner "I'm sure he isn't doing it on purpose, it's just terrible timing."  
  
"I hope so." Zoro didn't smile, but he did appreciate Ace's concern.  
  
"Maybe I'll bring you some food upstairs, later?" Ace tried again, tilting his head to the side like a hopeful puppy.  
  
Zoro nodded "Sure, Luffy is definitely gonna be hungry."  
  
"Alright!" Ace smiled and gave him a thumbs up before going back to the kitchen.  
  
Zoro shook his head, still he was definitely thankful for how his brothers were trying to make him feel better.

He knew he was blessed to have the supportive family he had, no matter how obnoxious and embarrassing they could get, Zoro was lucky to have every one of them in his life.  
  
Zoro had no memories of his life before being adopted by Mihawk, and he never even wanted to recall any of it, he was way too young to remember anyway. For all he knew he'd been with Mihawk for his entire life, and even if he did know that Mihawk was his adoptive parent he'd always thought of him as his real one. Family had never been about blood for Zoro and he didn't care about the couple years he'd spent without Mihawk, his life had officially stared once he had been adopted.  
  
Maybe Mihawk wasn't the most tender and sweet of fathers, but he had always been great with Zoro and that was all that mattered. He had taught him swordsmanship and kendo, meditation and had been a supportive figure through his entire childhood and teenage years.  
  
When Shanks came along Zoro had just finished first grade and his life was turned upside down. Someone had intruded his and Mihawk's peaceful life, bringing along two other kids who were loud, impish, sometimes foul mouthed and who consumed tons of Zoro's favorite food and tea.  
  
Zoro had spent a good year of his life hating Luffy and Ace, and venting to Sanji who couldn't help but share Zoro's feelings towards the little boys. The sheer hatred was apparently mutual, especially from Ace who was extremely hot headed and always dragged his little brother to his level, even if all Luffy wanted to do was play with everyone like the sweet and friendly child he really was.  
  
There were tons of physical fights, loads arguments, many pranks à la Problem Child and Home alone, giving Mihawk and Shanks the hardest of times, especially when Sanji was involved too and they had to call and meet Zeff way too often.  
  
Towards the end of third grade things changed drastically with Sanji's mother's passing. Ace and Luffy knew what it was like to lose their mom and they were extremely sympathetic with Sanji, especially because for a long period he ended up spending more time at Zoro's than his own home, since Zeff was going through a terrible breakdown that made him unable to take care of his child properly.  
  
Sanji could only smile and laugh (even if not that often) when he was in company of Zoro, and Ace and Luffy decided that fighting all the time was useless because that was their life now and they needed to do their best to be part of that family. All the energy that they'd all wasted on rage and trying to piss each other off was put to good use by playing like good kids and trying to cheer Sanji up all the time.  
  
In a handful of months the four boys became inseparable, and Zoro quickly forgot how life was as an only child and was thankful for having his brothers, but also Shanks who made Mihawk a warmer and happier person, and was the best father he could have ever asked for.  
  
Now, as Zoro threw a couple glances at his little brother who was completely enraptured by the game, he couldn't even think what it would have been like not to have him by his side. Maybe Ace and Luffy couldn't take away the pain completely, but they surely helped easing it, and in that moment the ache in Zoro's chest was just a feeble burn.  
  
They played for hours, or maybe not, all Zoro knew is that he was exhausted and Luffy looked just as cooked as he was. They ended up falling asleep together on Zoro's bed, still dressed except for their shoes. Zoro vaguely remembered Ace stepping into the room and saying something before tucking them both in.  


 

 

  
* * *  


 

 

  
Zoro woke up in the dead of the night, one of his arms asleep because Luffy was all wrapped up around it. He snorted and shook his head, then carefully slid his arm out of Luffy's grip and shook it until it started to regain sensibility.  
  
When he turned his head to check the time he saw a tray with food on it, Ace had definitely kept his promise but he had arrived too late. He avoided to turn on the light and risk waking up Luffy, so he had to feel and touch around the nightstand to find his cellphone.  
  
He bit his lower lip as he considered if checking it was really worth it or if he should have just gone back to sleep, still his guts prevailed and made him light up and unlock the screen.  
  
Two messages from Sanji.  
  
"Fuck..." Zoro pressed his thumb and forefinger against his eyelids, then decided to read the texts.  
  
 _'marimo i'm really sorry about tonight, i know you're angry 'cause you stopped answering on the group chat. tomorrow i can't come to lunch again but... would you and the others pick me up at night? i'll definitely come with you.'_  
  
 _'wow you really are pissed off... you didn't even answer to me... well please, let me know if you're gonna pick me up or not. night.'_  
  
Zoro didn't want to feel guilty, but he couldn't help the clash of conflicting emotions he went through. Maybe he was just being too paranoid, unable to accept that Sanji wasn't trying to avoid him and things were really screwed at work, but it could actually make perfect sense after what had happened. Still he decided that he had to at least reply to him, even if he was kind of pissed.  
  
 _'i fell asleep before dinner and i just woke up, i wasn't ignoring you, i just had a long and tiring day. Sure we'll pick you up, I'll let you know the time. Night.'_  
  
Hitting send made Zoro feel slightly better, but he also forced himself to not wait for an answer and go back to sleep. The day after was going to be just as long and consuming as the one he had just gone through.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day after Zoro was greeted by a text from Nami who announced that she was running a fever and was only going to school to do her exam, but she couldn't make it that night. For a moment Zoro thought that he was going to read some excuse from Sanji too, but he only wrote about how sorry he was for Nami and how she needed to get better soon.  
  
The rest of the day went on smooth and definitely faster than the days before, Zoro was rested and extremely focused on work, he only stopped when he got a call from Kidd to set a time to meet later that night and then he had to forward the update to the others.  
  
Kidd and Zoro had settled for something informal, a simple dinner and maybe some drinks at a pub around nine-ish, which meant that they needed to pick up Sanji at 8:30 or something. It all sounded perfect and Zoro was starting to regain more confidence and positivity.  
  
Ace came back home slightly later than usual and with a weird look on his face, but Zoro didn't comment on it.  
  
"We need to pick up Sanji, you remember that, right?" Zoro asked as he watched his brother enter the kitchen to get some water from the fridge.  
  
"Relax, bro. I'll be ready in a minute!" Ace assured him as he began to drink directly from the bottle.  
  
In that exact moment Luffy walked in, already dressed for the night, he took a good look at Ace and as he got himself a packet of beef jerky he arched an eyebrow and asked the real question "Did you get laid?"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes and watched as Ace spit all the water he had in his mouth and part of it leaked out of his nose.  
  
"W-what are y-you...?" Ace managed to quaver out before coughing.  
  
Zoro snorted and shook his head.  
  
"You irradiate some weird vibes," Luffy shrugged as he munched on his jerky "like when you get laid."  
  
If possible, Ace coughed even harder and Zoro couldn't help but laugh out loud.  
  
"I didn't! Okay? I was working!" Ace replied as soon as he was done spitting out one of his lungs.  
  
"Alright, alright!" Luffy nodded as he calmly kept on chewing on his snack.  
  
Everyone found it kind of weird or even creepy when Luffy spoke about sex, but even though he wasn't interested in the matter it didn't mean that he knew nothing about it. Probably his child-like features made everything worse, and he looked even more pure and naïve than he actually was.  
  
"I'll go get changed..." Ace grumbled as he put the water back into the fridge.  
  
"Yeah, that's better." Zoro smirked as he watched his brother march out of the kitchen.  
  
Ace took less time than expected to get ready, so they were perfectly on time to pick up Sanji.  
  
Zoro was nervous, but he tried to mask it as much as possible. He didn't allow his knee to bounce up and down, nor his fingers to drum over any surface of the car, he kept his fists burrowed into the pockets of his jacket and took out his agitation on his tongue piercing, rolling it across his lips or clicking it against his front teeth. When Ace stopped the car in front of Sanji's building though, Zoro couldn't really keep from tapping his foot impatiently.  
  
"Did you text Sanji?" Ace asked all of a sudden.  
  
Zoro stared at him dumbfounded "Huh?"  
  
Ace huffed and turned in his seat to look at Zoro "To let him know we're here, maybe?"  
  
Zoro squeezed his eyes shut as he mentally palmed his forehead, then reached for his cellphone and sent Sanji a message to ask him to come down.  
  
A couple of minutes later Sanji appeared from the front door, sucking on the last drag of his cigarette before throwing away the burnt out filter and opening the backseat door with a smirk.  
  
"Oh, here are my life savers!" Sanji began as he climbed beside Zoro "How are you, nerds?"  
  
As Ace and Luffy normally greeted Sanji and proceeded to make some small conversation with him, Zoro kept quiet and studied Sanji's behavior and appearance for obvious reasons.  
  
Sanji still hadn't looked directly at Zoro and was sitting very still on his side of the seat, he was smiling softly as he spoke to Ace and gently ruffled Luffy's hair just to bother him. He looked tired, so maybe work had really eaten him up and it hadn't all been a pile of poor excuses to avoid Zoro, still it was weird of Sanji not to pay much attention to Zoro and it was starting to get on his nerves.  
  
Zoro ground his teeth and shifted awkwardly in his seat as he turned his head to stare outside, then pressed his knee into the back of Ace's seat "We're gonna be late if you don't go." he grumbled.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Ace agreed and started up the car.  
  
"Marimo," Sanji finally called him out, but Zoro didn't turn to look at him yet "you didn't even say hi, you rude shit!"  
  
Zoro turned to scowl at him, only to find him pouting and with his arms crossed on his chest "What are you, five?" Zoro asked as one of his eyebrows quirked up.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "You've been an ass these days, you barely texted me."  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I've been busy and so have you."  
  
Sanji stared at him dead in the eyes, then moved to sling a leg over Zoro's lap "Are you jealous of my workplace, now?" he smirked "Don't worry, you suck more than it does." and with those words he leaned in to press a kiss to Zoro's cheek before resting back into his seat and crossed his other leg over the one that was already on Zoro's lap.  
  
Zoro would have said something witty in return but the kiss had completely taken him by surprise and his tongue and throat felt paralyzed. He heard his brothers going _"aww"_ and then laughing, he saw Sanji grinning smugly as he lit himself a cigarette, yet he couldn't react. Feeling his ears and cheekbones burn, Zoro turned back to glare at the glowing lights and the blurred faces of random pedestrians as Ace sped the car to get to the pub in time.  
  
God he hated that blond little shit.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When they arrived outside of the pub there was no sign of anyone from Freakshow, so they decided to wait outside and Ace asked Sanji for a cigarette – more to kill some time than because he actually needed a smoke.  
  
The place looked nice from the outside, they had never been there before actually, but it seemed quiet and not too packed so it was the perfect place to talk without having to yell over the music.  
  
"And you were worried we would have been late." Ace snorted as he took a deep drag of tobacco.  
  
Zoro huffed and spread his arms "How is this my fault, now? They decided the time and they're the late ones!"  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrows "Maybe Eustass is like you and they're wandering lost somewhere around the city." he tightened the jacket around him "I'm freezing my balls off, they better hurry up!"  
  
"Fuck you, I don't get lost!" Zoro growled, and the others all snorted at his words.  
  
"You're not allowed to drive because of your shit sense of direction, bro. Don't deny the evidence!" Ace cut in with a small smirk.  
  
"I'll put out that cigarette by pressing it into your eye, if you don't shut up." Zoro threatened between gritted teeth.  
  
"You probably mean complete lack of sense of direction, Ace." Sanji chimed in with a nod.  
  
Zoro turned around to grab a fistful of Sanji's shirt "You want permanent eyeshadow, Cook?"  
  
Sanji blew smoke into Zoro's face "Go on, let's see if you can even graze me with your fists." he challenged him.  
  
"Kinky! I'm into rough shit myself..." a deep voice spoke behind Sanji.  
  
"Tra-guy! Long time no see!" Luffy bursted into an excited laugh, and Zoro and Sanji suddenly froze before looking behind them.  
  
"Hey everyone, sorry we're late but we couldn't find a damn parking!" Law stated before smirking at Luffy.  
  
"It's okay, we only just got here ourselves!" Luffy replied louder than usual, definitely driven by the thrill of having his favorite underground bass player so close to him.  
  
"Long enough to start arguing." Kidd commented as he watched Zoro and Sanji with an amused crooked grin on his lips.  
  
"They're always doing that, don't even pay attention to them!" Ace explained as waved his hand.  
  
Zoro let go of Sanji's shirt and they both muttered out an "Hi" as they stood silently one next to the other.  
  
"Uh, bro?" another voice came from the penumbra of that part of the street that wasn't drowned by the lights of the entrance of the pub "the car keys."  
  
Kidd turned and grabbed a bunch of keys from the person that had just joined them "Yeah, right." he stuffed them into the pocket of his coat, then jabbed a thumb over his shoulder "Guess you know this guy already."  
  
The man came out from behind Kidd and raised a hand in greeting "Hello guys!"  
  
Sanji went stiff beside Zoro, and Zoro's eyes widened comically.  
  
"Bartolomeo?!" Ace and Luffy cried out in surprise.  
  
"What you probably don't know is that he's Eustass' brother." Law revealed as he tilted his head to the side, then added "Spoiler alert." in a softer voice.  
  
Now everyone's eyes were risking to pop out of their skulls.  
  
"You're... You're brothers?" Sanji asked as he waved a finger from Kidd to Bartolomeo.  
  
"Yeah, we are..." Bartolomeo chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head.  
  
"So is the lack of eyebrows genetic or...?" Sanji went on as he kept staring at the two brothers incredulous.  
  
"Cook, what the fuck?" Zoro muttered as he shook his head.  
  
Law snorted, failing to bite back a laugh as Kidd shot him a deadly glare.  
  
"No we... We both wax them off." Bartolomeo answered with a shrug.  
  
"This is weird... But they do look alike! Kind of..." Luffy jumped in as he squinted at Kidd and Bartolomeo, cocking his head from side to side as he studied their similarities.  
  
"He's a shit brother though, because instead of liking my band he likes yours." Kidd remarked as he folded his arms over his chest and glowered at Bartolomeo.  
  
"I do like your band!" Bartolomeo protested, then quickly glanced at Zoro and Sanji before staring down at his boots "I just like them more..."  
  
Zoro could have sworn he'd seen Sanji roll his eyes, and couldn't really figure out why he would do that, he loved to hear people praise their band.  
  
"That's a very good boy!" Ace exclaimed with a clap of his hands, and Bartolomeo turned a soft shade of pink.  
  
"Oh, and Roronoa-ya," Law suddenly called out, making Zoro snap his head in his direction "we really enjoyed watching you fight for Blackleg-ya." he said with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.  
  
"W-what?" Zoro asked almost out of breath.  
  
"You were there?" Sanji asked, his voice louder and clearer than Zoro's.  
  
"So you were the people in line with Bartolomeo?" Ace chimed in, pointing at Law.  
  
"Jesus, Law!" Bartolomeo mumbled, somewhat embarrassed by Law's words.  
  
"Why don't we just go inside?" Sanji spoke before anyone could add anything else "It's fucking freezing here."  
  
Zoro turned to look at Sanji and his uneasy expression, and mentally thanked him for changing topic so quickly.  
  
"Yeah, he's right." Kidd agreed and pushed past Law to get inside the pub.  
  
Awkwardness: the best way to start a night out.  
  
Zoro sucked in a deep breath, exchanged a glance with Sanji, then they both entered the pub after Law.

It turned out that Law had actually booked a table for all of them, so they didn't have to wait at all to get one, even though it looked kind of small to fit all of them.  
  
When Sanji tried to ask for a bigger table he got an annoyed answer from one of the waiters telling him not too politely that it was the only table they had for seven people.  
  
"Some people shouldn't be allowed to work in food service." Sanji grumbled as he moved to get a seat across from Zoro.  
  
"Down, Cook..." Zoro chastised him as he sat down next to Ace. Before he could even realize it he turned to his left and saw Bartolomeo in the chair next to his. "Oh, hi."  
  
Bartolomeo broke into a sheepish grin "You don't mind me sitting here, do you?"  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Not at all, it's a free country." he gave him a crooked smirk and Bartolomeo bursted into giggles.  
  
"Here are the menus guys, I'll be back in a few!" the waiter said. Luckily it wasn't the one who'd spoken to Sanji earlier.  
  
"Ah, thank you." Zoro grabbed one of the menus, and as he did so he caught a glimpse of Sanji glaring a hole into Bartolomeo's skull. "Are you sick?" Zoro asked with a quirked eyebrow.  
  
"Huh?" Sanji raised an eyebrow himself as he looked at Zoro.  
  
Zoro pursed his lips then waved a hand "Nevermind," then pointed at Luffy who was sitting between Sanji and Law "be careful or you won't be eating tonight."  
  
Sanji turned to glower at Luffy "He only needs to try stealing food from my plate."  
  
Law scowled at Zoro, then at Luffy "Why? He steals food?"  
  
Luffy was too busy scanning through the menu while picking his nose with his pinky finger to pay them any attention.  
  
"Yeah, he does that..." Ace sighed with a one-shouldered shrug.  
  
Law shot one last glance at Luffy then started going through the menu himself, but the more he read, the more his expression darkened. "Don't they have something that isn't stuffed into a sandwich?"  
  
Zoro raised his eyes from the menu and gave Law a quizzical look.  
  
"Oh God here he goes..." Kidd huffed as if he had seen that scene over and over.  
  
"Shut up! You know I hate bread!" Law growled lowly.  
  
Sanji didn't even lift his eyes from the menu but Zoro saw his expression turn annoyed, nearly murderous.  
  
"How can you not like bread?" Luffy frowned at Law.  
  
"I don't." Law stated simply as he flipped through the pages "Oh, steaks. Good."  
  
Zoro threw Ace a weirded out look and Ace shrugged in response. Probably it was a good thing that they'd found people who were almost odder than they were. Just as he was about to go back to study the menu, Zoro saw Bartolomeo staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but he decided to not mind him.  
  
Once everyone had settled with what they wanted to eat and everything had been ordered, Kidd splayed a hand on the table as his eyes wandered among the Crows.  
  
"Shall we talk about the real reason why we're here?" Kidd asked rhetorically.  
  
"No, let's just get drunk and talk about our feelings." Law teased.  
  
Kidd was about to throw the smartass a punch, but his brother caught his arm before he could do anything.  
  
"No blood, we're at the table." Bartolomeo chanted, probably way too used to those two behaving like that.  
  
"Yes, let's talk business." Sanji finally spoke up after what felt like ages. Zoro saw him lock gazes with Law for a couple of moments, then he went back to look at Kidd with an unreadable expression.  
  
"We were thinking five, maybe six dates inside the country but out of town." Kidd began explaining, and all of a sudden everyone perked up to pay attention to him. "Five of them are sure, we've already spoke to booking agencies and promoters, the sixth will be held if the others go as well as they should."  
  
"Ah, we'll be awesome!" Luffy exclaimed in pure excitement "We're both great bands, I'm sure we'll do the sixth date too!"  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow "We can bring our own techs, right?"  
  
Kidd nodded at the question "Of course you can," he then clapped a hand on Bartolomeo's shoulder, making him jerk in his seat in surprise "Barto is one of our best techs, and he'll come along."  
  
Zoro watched Bartolomeo smile awkwardly and throw a victory sign.  
  
"Oh, he is?" Sanji asked, and when Zoro turned to look at him he saw him flare his nostrils.  
  
"Of course. He's always coming with us." Kidd restated.  
  
"Unless you're playing, then he's ditching us to come to your shows." Law chimed in in a monotone.  
  
Zoro smirked "Can't handle a bit of competition?" he cocked his head in Bartolomeo's direction "If he likes us better just leave him be." 

"He's got great taste!" Ace added with a smirk.  
  
"In music or men?" Law asked, staring directly at Zoro in the eye, who frowned at him.  
  
"Would you shut your fucking mouth?" Bartolomeo slapped a hand on the table and stood up.  
  
"Or what?" Law challenged as he looked up at him, not moving from his seat.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Kidd stood up himself to push Bartolomeo to sit back on his chair "Can't we just all behave like civilized people?" he chastised both of them, and only sat down when Bartolomeo and Law lost eye contact. "Jesus, fuck..."  
  
Zoro exchanged quizzical looks with his brothers, but when he searched for Sanji's gaze he found it focused on the incisions carved on the wooden surface of the table. Sanji would have been the first person to jump on the bandwagon in other situations, making fun of people and spilling sex jokes here and there, but he was completely silent. Zoro would rather appreciate Sanji's endless teasing directed to him than that awful silence.  
  
"Is everything alright here?" a waitress smiled down at them politely.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, no worries." Law assured, not even looking up at her.  
  
"Is food coming?" Luffy asked as he finally broke his own awkward silence "It would make everything better. Brains don't work at their finest on an empty stomach." he beamed up at the waitress.  
  
"Yes it is! Here are you drinks, in the meantime," she began to set each glass on the table "sorry for the wait."  
  
"Ah, it's alright! Running a kitchen isn't a game." Sanji finally spoke up, giving the young woman one of his best smiles "Don't mind the awful manners of these brutes, they're good people despite their rudeness."  
  
Zoro glared at Sanji from over his mug of beer. That idiot should have just kept silent.  
  
"Oh... I don't think they're rude!" the waitress giggled nervously as she rapidly scanned the men at the table "Little arguments can always happen," she shrugged a shoulder "but thank you for understanding." she smiled at Sanji, then quickly turned on her heels and left.  
  
"I feel like that was the last time she'll serve us, tonight." Ace commented as he pointed at the girl pacing towards the kitchen, and everyone snorted.  
  
"I think you scared her, Sanji!" Luffy exclaimed before laughing.  
  
Sanji turned a bright shade of red "Fuck off! I didn't scare her, I was trying to be nice!"  
  
"You've got a creepy way to be nice to people." Zoro nodded.  
  
Sanji turned to look at him, anger flickering into his blue eyes "I should smash your face in with this mug, but I don't wanna 'cause any problem to that girl."  
  
"Fine," Zoro nodded, appreciating Sanji's reactions after having been so terribly quiet "I'll kick your ass when we get out."  
  
"You shitty moss-brain, I'm gonna kill you!" Sanji sneered as he banged the mug down onto the table.  
  
"Guys! For fuck's sake, enough!" Ace groaned as he brought his hand down on the table "Stop bickering for five minutes! We're here to talk about work!"  
  
"We're such a hot-headed bunch..." Law commented, an amuse smile quirking his lips as he looked at everyone "I gotta give it to you Barto, you had the best idea this time!"  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Bartolomeo "What's he talking about? What idea?"  
  
Bartolomeo perked in his seat, and a grin that could only be described as dripping with pride threatened to split his face in two "I'm the one who suggested you as an opening act!" he declared, victorious.  
  
"More like pestered us..." Kidd muttered to himself.  
  
Zoro's mouth hung slightly open as his brain processed those new information. So the real reason why they had obtained the deal was their talent after all, and the love and loyalty of one of their fans – not Sanji sleeping with Law. Once Zoro made the connection he turned to look at Sanji who was just staring at Bartolomeo with wide eyes, and when he locked gazes with Zoro he pursed his lips and swallowed thickly.

Before anyone could speak up again, two waiters showed up with everyone's food, so everyone's attention focused on their sandwiches and steaks, but Zoro was still throwing glances here and there at Sanji who looked as though someone had just slapped him.  
  
Now Zoro couldn't really tell if Sanji was relieved or not by Bartolomeo's confession, but Zoro definitely was – even though it didn't erase the fact that Sanji had in fact slept with Law.  
  
He prodded at Sanji's boot with his own from underneath the table, and when Sanji jerked slightly in his seat and looked over at him he mouthed "You alright?"  
  
Sanji blinked and nodded, uttering a small "Yeah," then concentrated back on the ceasar salad in front of him.  
  
Zoro sighed and began to eat his own sandwich himself.  
  
At least the dinner went on smoothly, all the awkwardness was gone after the teasing at the beginning, everyone was just enjoying their food and chatting about their favorite bands and the upcoming tour. A few more drinks were ordered and the tipsiness was definitely starting to creep up on them.  
  
"No you don't understand, the thing that makes me even more mad about this shitty brother I have," Kidd started as he waved his hand towards Bartolomeo, who groaned and threw his head back.  
  
"Why can't you just talk about something or someone else?" Bartolomeo whined as he glowered at his brother.  
  
"Because you're a fucking traitor," Kidd replied, emphasizing his point with a single nod, then went back to look straight at Ace as he spoke on "You see, he plays guitar, piano and the _fucking_ drums... But he knows your songs more than ours!" he spread his arms, outrage painted all over his features, making Ace and Luffy burst out laughing really hard.

"Ah, I didn't know you could play the piano too," Zoro furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to look at Bartolomeo "I knew you could play guitar and drums, but you never mentioned the piano."

Bartolomeo's eyes widened and his face turned as red as Shanks' hair "W-well! I've been studying piano since when I was a child," he shrugged, clearly trying to make it seem like it wasn't exactly a big deal "but it isn't my favorite instrument to play."

Zoro caught a glimpse of Kidd elbowing Law and pretending to suck a dick, but ignored them – thank God Bartolomeo hadn't seen them. "Yeah, I'm terrible with the piano myself, luckily enough we have Nami in the band." he smirked, and when he turned to look at Sanji he saw him pulling faces and mouthing something to mock him.  
  
Bartolomeo didn't even acknowledge Sanji and chuckled louder than he should have at Zoro's words.  
  
"You know, we've been thinking about adding a rhythm guitar," Luffy began as he scratched his chin "why don't you become our rhythm guitarist? You know all our songs, too!" Luffy's grin was all teeth, but Sanji smacked him behind the head right away.  
  
"Stop asking people to join our band so lightly, you fucking idiot!" Sanji barked as he tugged furiously on Luffy's cheek.  
  
"Ow, Sanji! Let go of me!" Luffy cried as he tried to slap Sanji's hand away.  
  
"I-I'd be so... So honored, oh God!" Bartolomeo started stuttering, his eyes quickly filling up with tears of joy.  
  
"They didn't _actually_ ask you, calm down..." Law grunted as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"No we aren't actually looking for anyone," Zoro shook his head, then when he saw Bartolomeo sniffle he quickly added "not at the moment, at least."  
  
"But you could like... Be our sideman, you know?" Ace cut in with a shrug "In case one of us is sick and can't play, you could definitely cover for them."  
  
Bartolomeo nodded "Yeah, of course! I could do that!" a grin slowly spread on his lips.  
  
"And then if we like you enough you can become our rhythm guitarist!" Luffy jumped in again.  
  
"Shut up!" Sanji, Ace and Zoro shouted all of a sudden.

Bartolomeo laughed at the guys' reaction, then waved a hand as he looked at them "No it's okay, really! I understand that you don't need anyone else in the band," he nodded, "your line up is already perfect as it is!"  
  
Law and Kidd groaned lowly, rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.  
  
"Such an ass kisser." Kidd commented before taking a sip of his beer.  
  
Bartolomeo's face suddenly twisted in anger and his cheeks flared up red as he turned furiously to his brother "I'm not! I'm just telling things as they are!" in the heat of the moment, as he tried to either grab or punch Kidd he accidentally knocked over his drink that obviously spilled down Zoro's pants and the lower part of his Metallica shirt.  
  
"Fuck!" Zoro growled as he flinched in his seat and looked down at his clothes "Shit I'll stink like a brewery now!" he grumbled as he looked up on the table to see if there was a semi-clean tissue he could have used.  
  
Sanji snorted, looking at him with a smug smirk as he raised his own glass of beer "At least you'll smell better than your usual caveman stench!"  
  
Zoro glared at him "You fuckin'–"  
  
"Oh shit! Zoro, I'm so sorry!" Bartolomeo finally cried out as he let go of Kidd and realized what he had done "I-I'm an idiot, I'm terribly sorry, f-fuck!" he stuttered as he grabbed Law's still practically clean tissue and pressed it on Zoro's lower stomach, where the beer had spilled and soaked his shirt, then abruptly stopped to stare up at Zoro.  
  
Zoro stared back somewhat bewildered by how Bartolomeo had quickly tried to make up for his mistake and then had stopped to gawk at him like that. "Are you.... Alright?" Zoro tried as he blinked, then the noise of Sanji pushing his chair back abruptly to stand up brought him back to reality and he turned to look at Sanji.  
  
"What?" Sanji arched an eyebrow, looking more irritated than he should have "A man can't take a piss?" he asked as he spread his arms before walking off in the direction of the toilets.  
  
"Whoa, touchy..." Law commented once he assumed that Sanji couldn't hear him, but Zoro did and he made sure to shoot him a deadly glare before returning his attentions to Bartolomeo who had taken his hands off of him.  
  
"I'm sorry..." Bartolomeo repeated as he handed Zoro the tissue.  
  
Zoro frowned and grabbed the half-wet piece of paper "Stop saying that, you didn't stab me. It's fine." he muttered as he padded the crotch of his jeans with the tissue, then subtly looked over at Ace who pursed his lips and glanced in the direction of the toilets.

"I know I didn't stab you, but I ruined your clothes..." Bartolomeo went on, sighing in distress.  
  
"Chill out, it's fucking beer not acid." Kidd bursted as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well I'm not an animal, like you think I am!" Bartolomeo growled back, and Zoro seriously considered punching both of them because he already had enough of their quarreling.  
  
Luckily enough he wasn't alone in that, because Law cupped Kidd's chin and roughly tugged on it so that Kidd would break eye contact with his brother and look at him.  
  
"If you don't knock it off, both of you, I'm going home tonight and you can have your dick sucked by your brother or something, because I'm tired of listening to your annoying voices." Law said in the calmest, yet most threatening tone he could manage and Kidd's expression turned slightly panicked all of a sudden.  
  
"Gross," Bartolomeo groaned lowly as he shook his head.  
  
Well at least Law's threat had been definitely useful.  
  
"You guys are out of your minds!" Luffy couldn't help but laugh out "I like you!"  
  
Bartolomeo's head turned in Luffy's direction so hard that Zoro heard his bones creak, he didn't actually say anything but he did stare at Luffy with this big smile and flushed cheekbones.  
  
"I seriously can't wait to go on tour with you!" Luffy beamed as he looked from Law to Kidd, then to Bartolomeo "I heard that your guitarist could be a challenge to me in a eating contest!"  
  
Leave it to Luffy to switch topics so brilliantly and take pressure and focus off embarrassing moments.  
  
"Bonney?" Kidd's brow raised "Oh she could probably eat a grown man without even blinking," everyone stared at him in a mix of confusion and mild disgust. "That came out so fucking wrong..." he shook his head and covered his eyes with his hand as everyone laughed.  
  
"What are you all laughing about?" Sanji asked as he sat down without anyone even noticing that he had got back.  
  
"About people being able to eat a grown man without blinking." Ace answered with a small laugh.  
  
"We laugh and shit, but there are people who could actually do that," Law cut in as he looked over at Sanji, a smug, knowing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips "right, Blackleg-ya?"  
  
Sanji's annoyed expression switched to slight panic the moment Law finished his sentence and Kidd's eyes focused on him. "Do I look like an expert?" Sanji shrugged a shoulder, trying to keep his voice to his usual tone.  
  
Law didn't say anything in return but he looked far too amused for Zoro's taste, especially now that Kidd was staring quizzically at Sanji's discomfort.  
  
"Uh, guys. I hate to piss on your parade but," Zoro jabbed a thumb in Luffy's direction "the young man here has school in the morning and I'm pretty sure we all have work so," he shrugged a shoulder and began to stand up.  
  
"Sure, yeah... I gotta be up in..." Kidd frowned down at his watch, then blinked "Fuck, I didn't think it was so late."  
  
Zoro limited himself to nod, then glanced over at Sanji's relieved expression. He knew Sanji wasn't going to thank him, especially not after looking like he had been smelling a pile of shit all night long, but Zoro was sure that Sanji had appreciated the gesture.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It took them a while to figure out who had to pay what, then they finally poured out of the pub for a cigarette and a last chat before going their separate ways.  
  
Zoro still didn't know how he felt about Law and Sanji being together on tour, though he did trust the fact that Sanji seemed to avoid him, especially when Kidd was around. Law definitely had a nerve to make jokes and innuendos when his boyfriend (or whatever he wanted to call his relationship with Kidd) was listening.  
  
Kidd was a jealous person, or at least Zoro had figured as much that time they spoke backstage at the Metal Mayhem, and Sanji had said that they were in love but apparently couldn't help fighting and cheating.  
  
Zoro didn't have any serious dating experience, but he didn't see the point in cheating or whatsoever, why even date someone if you aren't interested in being faithful? But that was just Zoro, and maybe he was too old fashioned or something. Probably there were things he didn't know about Eustass and Trafalgar, and Zoro didn't really care about them, what he did care about was working with them and on a professional level they seemed to be trustworthy.  
  
After Bartolomeo and Luffy had a short but intense exchange about Skyrim, during which Sanji was looking at them with a hint of irritation, Ace and Zoro found themselves staring at how Kidd had cornered Law not too far from where they were all standing and after a short fight they seemed to be eating each other's faces out.  
  
"Whoa... Whose tongue is that?" Ace asked his brother softly, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed.  
  
Zoro huffed and rolled his eyes "Please..."  
  
"I gotta be up early, you dumbasses!" Sanji snarled after crushing a cigarette under his boot.  
  
Zoro turned to look at him, then walked over to pat Luffy on the shoulder "Come on, we gotta go."  
  
Luffy sighed and pouted up at his brother "Already?"  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows "It's past two, I think it's better if we head home."  
  
"It's okay, I'll see you in a few days after all!" Bartolomeo smirked at Luffy, then turned to look at Zoro. "Have a good night!"  
  
Zoro nodded, then clapped a hand on Bartolomeo's shoulder "Goodnight, man."  
  
Bartolomeo giggled nervously and quickly headed towards Law and Kidd, probably to pull them apart, but Zoro could have sworn that Bartolomeo's cheeks had turned a deep shade of red when he touched him, or maybe it had been the light playing a number on his eyes.  
  
The two groups bid each other goodnight, then went their separate ways, it was then that Sanji finally seemed to relax just a bit. He was still kind of quiet as he smoke his cigarette on the way to the car but he walked beside Zoro.  
  
"Those guys are so cool, and they're very good musicians too! I can't wait to play with them!" Luffy bursted, his excitement was still at its peek as he threw a fist in the air.  
  
"Yeah they are!" Ace agreed, then added with a cock of the head "They're weird as fuck, but so are we."  
  
"They're called Freakshow, what did you expect?" Sanji commented in a monotone as he blew some smoke out of the corner of his lips.  
  
"We're called Murder Of Crows but I don't see any of us flying." Zoro retorted with a huff as they stopped by Ace's car.  
  
Sanji glowered at him, then raised an eyebrow "But we sure are as black as Satan's asshole." Luffy and Ace bursted out laughing, while Zoro just rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
  
Once they were all stuffed inside the car and Ace had turned up the volume of the radio they were ready to drive towards Sanji's house.  
  
"You know who I'd like to join our band?" Luffy sighed as he looked out of the car window in a dramatic manner.  
  
"Fuckin' hell..." Ace muttered before asking "Let's hear it. Who would that be?"  
  
"Tra-guy... He's so awesome!" Luffy confessed as he let out another dreamy sigh.  
  
"No _fucking_ way!" Sanji growled from the backseat, and Zoro couldn't help but smirk at that answer.  
  
"Fuck off, he's a bass player! What would you do, then?!" Ace barked in response.  
  
"Ah..." Luffy perked up, pausing probably to compute for a few moments "I hadn't thought about that."  
  
"You idiot!" Zoro sniggered.  
  
Sanji leaned in to slap the top of Luffy's head "And stop asking people to join the band, are we clear?"  
  
"Ow!" Luffy cried as he rubbed his head and glared back at Sanji "Okay, okay..."  
  
Zoro shook his head "He's just saying it, he'll do it again."  
  
"Then when he does, I'll bash his skull in," Sanji threatened in a low tone as he threw the burnt out cigarette out of the window before sitting back, carefully keeping to his side of the seat.  
  
That was how Zoro knew something was still up with Sanji – and to think that Zoro was sure it was Law's presence that disturbed him. Zoro actually had something to ask him, but he would have wanted to wait for the right time to do so, even though Sanji's mood didn't seem to leave hope for a right time.  
  
"Oi..." Zoro called out softly. It would have been better if he and Sanji were alone, but he trusted his brothers to stay out of it.  
  
Sanji turned to look at him with the same blank expression as before "What?"  
  
Zoro pursed his lips, thinking about the best way to ask what was going on in his mind and cursing at himself for not being that great with words. "So are you relieved about the... Offer thing?"  
  
Sanji frowned "Huh? What offer thing?"  
  
Zoro hung his head with a sigh "Kidd asking us to go on tour with them?"  
  
Sanji blinked "Marimo, what the fuck are you even talking about?"  
  
This time Zoro let out a frustrated groan "We didn't get it thanks to what you thought..." he started, glancing quickly at his brothers to make sure that they were minding their own business and talking about something else "Bartolomeo helped us more than, you know... Trafalgar."  
  
Sanji's eyes darkened dangerously and his nostrils flared "Bartolomeo! Who the fuck is he? The savior of this shitty world?" he yelled out, taking everyone aback "Thank Christ for him, huh? How did we even survive without him all this time?"  
  
Zoro gawked at Sanji during the entire outburst, unable to say anything in return.  
  
"Bartolomeo..." Sanji muttered to himself with a head-shake, then pulled out a cigarette from the packet and lit it up.  
  
"What is your problem?" Zoro asked, scrunching his face.  
  
"I have none, shitty bastard!" Sanji snarled at him "We didn't need anyone's help, we made it on our own 'cause we're fucking good!"  
  
Zoro blinked, then turned to look at Ace who was staring at him from the rear-view mirror. "Of course we are."  
  
"Good!" Sanji replied almost instantly, then took a deep drag of tobacco.  
  
Luffy turned in his seat and stared at Sanji with a blank expression "What the fuck was that?"  
  
Sanji stiffened all of a sudden as if he'd regretted his fit, he didn't know where to look as his gaze wandered from place to place until it finally dropped on his lap "Sorry..." he muttered around his cigarette, glanced sheepish at Zoro then finished off his cigarette in silence.  
  
If Zoro didn't know any better he would have teased him for his behavior, but he was still so relieved that Sanji didn't seem like he wanted to avoid him that he didn't want to ruin it.  
  
Ace stopped the car in front of the Baratie just a couple of minutes after Sanji's scene, and apart from Pantera playing in the background and Luffy arguing with him about which song was better between Cowboys From Hell and Walk, the backseats were completely quiet.  
  
"So uh... See you tomorrow?" Zoro finally asked before Sanji could even muster the courage to open the car door.  
  
Sanji turned to look at him and nodded "Sure..." he hesitated, then pulled on the handle.  
  
"Goodnight, Sanji!" Luffy smiled at him "Sleep all that anger off!" he sniggered.  
  
"Shut up..." Sanji sighed "'Night, losers."  
  
"'Night Sanji!" Ace saluted him.  
  
"Cook..." Zoro called out when Sanji was outside.  
  
Sanji bent over to take a better look inside the car and raised an eyebrow "What?"  
  
"Follow Luffy's advice." Zoro suggested with a shit-eating grin.  
  
"I was gonna get you extra food for your lunch tomorrow," Sanji began, his head cocking to the side as he spoke "too bad you cannot shut the fuck up!"  
  
Zoro's eyebrows furrowed and his nostrils flared "Fine! I'll eat stuff from the vending machine again, you useless bastard!"  
  
Sanji placed both hands on the car seat to get closer to Zoro's face "If any more of that shit gets into your body I'll kill you!" he sneered lowly.  
  
"Wouldn't you like that?" Zoro challenged him with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Sanji shrugged a shoulder "Probably..." then leaned in to peck at the tip of Zoro's nose "Night." he pulled back and shut the door before sauntering off to his house.  
  
Ace drew both his lips in as he tried to hold back from either laughing or saying anything at all, but Luffy spoke for him.  
  
"Did you cream your pants, Zoro?"  
  
The slap behind the head that Luffy earned was so hard that he smacked his forehead against the dashboard.

"Stop hitting me!" Luffy cried out.

"Then shut up!"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the time that the three brothers got home Luffy was asleep and Ace had to carry him to his bedroom and force him to at least put on his pajamas, thing that obviously ended up with Luffy kicking off his boots and sneaking under the covers in his clothes.  
  
"Man, how is this kid 19?" Ace shook his head as he turned to Zoro who was standing right outside the room.  
  
Zoro didn't actually respond and just shook his head with a snicker "You know what I'd need before bed?" he asked, instead.  
  
Ace shrugged "A blowjob?"  
  
Zoro groaned and threw his head back "Screw you, Ace!"  
  
Ace didn't laugh and just shook his head "Jokes aside, I really need a fuck," then he clapped a hand on Zoro's shoulder "and you do too!"  
  
Zoro's eyes widened underneath his furrowed eyebrows "Ace, what–?"  
  
This time it was Ace's turn to stare at his brother dead in the eye "No, I'm not saying we do it together!" Ace sighed and shut the door behind him "Unless you want to."  
  
"Are you on fucking drugs?" Zoro cried out louder than he'd intended, and Ace had to slap a hand over his mouth.  
  
"SHHH!" Ace hushed him, laughing under his breath "Idiot, I was kidding!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and pulled Ace's hand away from his face "Sanji's stupid jokes are enough, thank you very much."  
  
Ace gestured at Zoro "See? This is what I'm talking about! You're sexually frustrated!" then pointed at himself "And so am I!"  
  
Zoro huffed "Don't fuck our fans anymore, Ace, they stop coming to our shows when you do." he chanted as if he had repeated that phrase at least a hundred times.  
  
"Shut up, they still come to our shows!" Ace retorted before pushing Zoro inside his bedroom.  
  
"Ace! I'm not gonna fuck you!" Zoro growled as he stumbled inside Ace's room.  
  
"Oh Jesus Christ!" Ace clawed at his face "I don't want you to!"  
  
"Then what do you want?" Zoro asked spreading his arms.  
  
Ace hesitated, and for a moment he looked about ten years younger as he plopped down to sit on the edge of his bed "I'm falling really fucking hard for someone..." he finally confessed as he combed his long fingers through his jet black hair.  
  
Zoro blinked "...What?"  
  
"You heard me the first time!" Ace grunted as he glared up at his brother.  
  
Zoro kept blinking, completely lost. He and Ace were so used to talk about anything that Zoro was surprised to hear something that Ace had probably kept from him for God knows how long. "What are you saying? For who?" Zoro uttered in a semi-tone higher than normal.  
  
Ace rubbed at his forehead and scrunched his nose "A client?"  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows "Oh dude, that's such a bad porn cliché!" he couldn't help but snort "What is she like?"  
  
Ace blushed really hard and threw a pillow at Zoro "It isn't a bad porn cliché!" Ace barked "And there's no she!"  
  
Zoro's mouth opened and shut without making a sound, everything that Ace kept spilling out was hitting Zoro harder and harder, so much that he actually had to sit down on the floor. "You don't usually fall for guys... I mean," Zoro placed a hand over his lips, then went on "I mean, I remember you fooling around with that older guy... What was his name?"  
  
Ace looked up at the ceiling, face as red as a pepper "Marco..." he grumbled.  
  
"Marco, yeah!" Zoro snapped his fingers as he kept trying to dig back into his memory "But then... You mostly had female crushes..."  
  
"All I can say is that I'm probably into older men..." Ace interrupted Zoro's train of thought.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows "Is it Marco again?"  
  
Ace scrunched his face and waved his hand "No, no! He moved away after his senior year, don't you remember?" Zoro blinked in reply "Oh, c'mon! I was fucking heartbroken!"  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows "No, you were definitely fucking Rebecca, when Marco left."  
  
Ace growled "I hate you!"  
  
Zoro laughed and patted Ace's knee "I'm sorry bro."  
  
"You're just as horrible as Sanji!" Ace hissed as he folded his arms across his chest.  
  
Zoro couldn't help the tiny smile creasing his lips "So I've been told..."  
  
Ace rolled his eyes, then reached out to tug on a strand of gel slicked green hair "We're talking about my crush now!"  
  
Zoro grimaced and swatted at Ace's hand "Okay, okay!" he cocked an eyebrow "So how much older are we talking about?"  
  
Ace chewed down on his lower lip and squinted one eye "Uh... 14?"  
  
"Shit!" Zoro couldn't avoid the shout that abandoned his throat.  
  
"Shhhh!" Ace chastised him "It's not that much! He's only 36, not fucking 50!" he added in his defense.  
  
Zoro snorted "So if he's a client– It means that you're not fixing his boiler properly," he smirked "Are you doing it on purpose, you little shit?"  
  
Ace started giggling like an idiot, then tilted his head from side to side "Maybe..." he rolled his tongue between his lips "Today I went to his place – he was shirtless and," he threw his head back moaning.  
  
Zoro shook his head almost incredulous "Oh shit. This is great!" he sniggered before adding "Shanks was right to say that we're all _so_ fucking gay in this family."  
  
Ace nodded with a snigger, then went on about his crush "Remember that time I was late for practice because of–" Ace smirked as he made air quotes "Work?"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "Get the fuck out!" Ace wiggled his eyebrows in response "So when you got here late this evening and Luffy said that thing– He was right, wasn't he?" he smirked "You really got laid!"  
  
The grin dropped from Ace's lips and he looked down at his feet "Yeah, I wish!" he let out a frustrated huff of air "I'm dying here, I haven't even kissed him, yet!"  
  
"Oh, brother..." Zoro sighed "Don't tell me that these problems actually run in the family."  
  
Ace pulled a pained expression "He made me coffee and we spoke a bit–" then he bit his lower lip and shook his head "and he didn't even bother buttoning up the shirt he had put on while I was working!" he groaned as he buried his face into his hands.  
  
Zoro frowned "Poor thing, I know the feeling all too well..." he patted his brother on the knee, then crossed his legs "So tell me more about him. What's his name?" in that moment Zoro's cellphone buzzed in his pocket, but he chose to ignore it.  
  
Ace smiled, visibly happy to be able to gush over his crush "Smoker," he began, then arched an eyebrow "and oddly enough he's a chain smoker like Sanji, but he smokes cigars."  
  
Zoro nodded "We choose the healthy ones."  
  
Ace snorted before continuing "He's a cop," he nodded "a captain, actually."  
  
Zoro's eyebrows shot upwards "Aim for the stars!"  
  
Ace laughed "He's a bit grouchy, but once you get to know him he's actually a really nice man."  
  
"Ah, you plan on dating Mihawk just like your father." Zoro nodded, ignoring the second text he had just received.  
  
Ace glared at him "You're just like Mihawk, too."  
  
"I am _not_!" Zoro grunted, then decided to pull his cellphone out of his pocket. It was Sanji, of course.  
  
 _'oi marimo, sorry for snapping earlier, like really.'  
  
'jeez no need to ignore me, are you that mad at me?'_  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes.  
  
"Is it Sanji?" Ace asked.  
  
"Yeah, but keep talking I can hear you." Zoro assured him as he typed his answer.  
  
 _'jfc you're so dramatic, i'm speaking to ace. and yeah, you were an idiot for snapping like you did. i'll slap you next time you do that.'_  
  
"I know you're not exactly the best person to give me some advice but..." Ace shrugged.  
  
Zoro looked up at him outraged "Hey, fuck you! Just because I can't be with Sanji it doesn't mean I'm fucking clueless!"  
  
Ace smirked "Oh you _are_ clueless... You can't even understand how much Bartolomeo would like to swallow your entire dick."  
  
Zoro gaped up at his brother "Oh fuck off! He just likes our band a lot!" he shook his head. There was just no way that Bartolomeo liked him, he was crazy about Murder Of Crows in general, _all_ of them and nothing more.  
  
Ace cocked an eyebrow "Dude, even Sanji fucking noticed! Why do you think he acted like he was possessed by Satan?" Zoro just shrugged "He's jealous, dumbass!"  
  
Zoro started laughing so hard that he fell backwards and had to hold his stomach as he lied on the floor.  
  
"You need to get medical attention," Ace deadpanned before kicking Zoro's boot "Stop it already!"  
  
Zoro slowly sat up, coughed and wiped away a stray tear "Sanji. Jealous. Right!" he shook his head "He doesn't give a shit about me!"  
  
Ace licked his lips "You're so _fucking_ clueless," he smirked "you're the most important person for him, he _is_ jealous!"  
  
Zoro's cellphone vibrated again, so he opened Sanji's message right away.  
  
 _'i just wanted to sleep, i couldn't do it if you didn't reply and you take too long because your brain is made of moss.'_  
  
Zoro stared at the text for a few moments, reading and rereading it, then he looked up at Ace "You really think Bartolomeo likes me and Sanji noticed?"  
  
"Zoro, even the waiters noticed." Ace insisted.

Zoro ran his fingers through his mohawk and kept them there, scratching and rubbing nervously at the skin as he looked down at his phone. Now that he thought about it, every small gesture or word that Bartolomeo had ever addressed to him made more sense, even when he had bolted by his side after the fight with the thugs. Even Sanji's behavior at the pub had a different and clearer meaning, if Ace was right, but Zoro just couldn't see Sanji being jealous of him in a romantic way, he would have probably feared being replaced and losing Zoro's attentions.  
  
"C'mon, don't fret about it," Ace placed a hand on Zoro's arm and squeezed at it with a sympathetic smile.  
  
Zoro looked up at him "How do I not fret about it? I mean, I'm not that used to have people like Bartolomeo, you know." he shrugged and tried to think about an answer to Sanji's text.  
  
Ace huffed "Shut up, you've had people crushing on you!"  
  
Zoro didn't lift his eyes from his cellphone screen, fingers idly hovering the keys "Not really, not like Bartolomeo at least." he answered in a monotone before starting to type.  
  
' _well you can go to sleep now, cook. i'm not mad at you, but try and keep from bursting like the primadonna that you are.'_  
  
Yeah, that should have done it. Zoro hit send and set the cellphone down on the floor right beside him.  
  
"You don't have to marry him," Ace shrugged "just 'cause he got a crush on you he doesn't actually expect you to be with him or anything."  
  
Zoro sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face "No, I know that. I just feel bad for him, that's all."  
  
Ace smiled softly "Well don't, he's not stupid and he isn't a kid, he can get over it." then a crease formed between Ace's eyebrows as he drew them together in thought "Unless–" he cocked his head "Unless you decide that giving yourself a shot with a person who _dies_ to be with you is a good idea."  
  
Zoro's jaw dropped as he listened to his brother speak. How could he even think that? How sad would it be to date someone just because he wasn't lucky enough with the person he had real feelings for? "So I should date him out of pity and selfishness?" Zoro snorted "What is your damage, Ace? God!" he spat out with a disgusted expression.  
  
"I'm not saying that, c'mon!" Ace waved his hand and shifted on the bed "I mean, maybe if you spend more time with him you could get to know each other and who knows?"  
  
Zoro grabbed his cellphone and stuffed it down his pocket before slowly standing up "I'm not giving him false hope," he began "I'm not going to hurt him the way Sanji hurt me practically all my fucking life."  
  
Ace frowned up at him "Zoro..."  
  
Zoro shook his head and held up a hand "Ace, no." he walked up to the door, but right before leaving the room he stopped and looked at his brother from over his shoulder "You should invite Smoker to our next concert."  
  
Ace perked up in his seat, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline "Really?"  
  
"I need to see him," Zoro shrugged a shoulder "maybe tell him that if he makes you suffer I'll kill him."  
  
Ace snorted with laughter "Are you really thinking about threatening a police captain?"  
  
"No one has the right to mess with my brother, not even a cop." Zoro smirked, then left the room.  
  
He walked slowly, his brain hazed with the information that had just been dropped on him like a nuclear bomb and now was poisoning him.  
  
Bartolomeo was probably the sweetest guy he had met, and when he wasn't blushing, trembling and stuttering he was a very interesting person to speak to, but all of that couldn't simply erase a lifetime of friendship and everything that he had gone through with that shitty cook.  
  
Zoro had always thought that he was hopeless and a huge idiot for sitting around and waiting for something that probably was never going to happen, but he wasn't lonely, he didn't need to be in a relationship, he had just happened to fall in love with his best friend, but if he hadn't Zoro wouldn't have been interested in being in a relationship.  
  
His phone buzzed again and for a moment Zoro didn't even want to read the text, he just wanted to get into bed and sleep all this confusion off, still he had to reply to Sanji if he wanted everything to seem normal.  
  
 _'i'm not a primadonna i'm a prince!'_  
  
Zoro snorted at the message, and after he had shut the door of his bedroom behind him he replied.  
  
 _'yeah the prince of the kingdom of idiots. go to sleep cook.'_  
  
He threw the phone on the bed, then shuffled out of his clothes before finally getting under the covers and checking his phone for Sanji's reply.  
  
 _'i'm really happy that we didn't get the offer cause i slept with law, we deserve it'_  
  
Zoro couldn't help the grin that spread on his lips as he typed his answer. There he was, the Sanji that Zoro adored with all his heart, the one who was allowed to pop out only with Zoro and only in certain situations.  
  
 _'so am i. i'm proud of us all.'_  
  
He didn't even have the time to lower his phone, that Sanji had already responded.  
  
 _'i'm bringing you a double portion of food tomorrow, i feel particularly good. sleep well marimo head.'  
  
'you too, stupid cook.'_  
  
Zoro put the cellphone down on the nightstand, then stared up at the ceiling as he felt his body being actually filled with blissful peace. The little things had always fucked with Zoro's brain, but after all those are the things that make people fall in love with others.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll start out by saying that I'm so ashamed and sorry for taking so damn long to update, but I struggled with this chapter so much I wanted to punch myself in the face every time I thought about it. Originally it was supposed to be longer, with more scenes, but then it would have turned too damn gigantic and I didn't want that. Hopefully the next chapter will be easier to write and will come sooner!

The evenings which followed the infamous dinner with Eustass and Trafalgar were spent at Franky's working on a setlist that would have spoken volumes about Murder Of Crows. It was their opportunity to show more people who they were and what they sounded like, so they couldn't waste it at any cost.  
  
Nami didn't miss practice, not even once, even if the first time around she still had a slight temperature, but she was more than able to play her keyboards at her best.  
  
Everyone was extremely excited about the tour, even though the dates still weren't set, but organizing such things takes some time and Eustass kept assuring Zoro that things were being discussed each day that passed.  
  
On a Friday night the band had finally come up with the perfect setlist and couldn't wait to actually make their audience listen to it.  
  
"We're gonna kill it on this tour, I'm telling you, bunch of losers!" Sanji grinned as he watched Franky type up the titles of the songs on his Mac.  
  
"We could switch and change around a few covers during the different dates," Zoro suggested while changing the skins of his drum set with Nami's and Ace's help "unless we wanna do that with our originals too."  
  
Sanji rolled the filter of his cigarette around his teeth in thought "I was thinking about adding another IAMX cover, maybe?"  
  
"Ah I love how you arrange IAMX's songs," Usopp sighed dreamy "you should do _Spit It Out_!" he nodded as he popped a can of Carlsberg open.  
  
Sanji snorted as he lit up his cigarette, his eyes focusing on Zoro for a few moments before he could speak again "I don't sing those shitty sentimental songs and you know it," he grunted, leaving Zoro to scowl over at him quizzically. "I'd rather choose _Kiss and Swallow_."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Of course you were." he muttered as he rubbed at his brow, and his eyes went back to stare down at his drum set. He mentally slapped himself for allowing his mind to wonder why Sanji had looked at him with that kind of sheepish expression when Usopp had mentioned _Spit It Out_. He knew it couldn't mean anything.  
  
"You got something to say?" Sanji asked with a challenging growl.  
  
Zoro ignored him completely "Pass me those two rods, Nami, would you?"  
  
"Coming right up," Nami grabbed the rods that Zoro was pointing at and handed them over.  
  
"Moss-brained bastard." Sanji grunted as sat down on the floor next to Franky's chair.  
  
"So do you want me to make different documents with the other covers?" Franky asked as he kept tapping away on his keyboard.  
  
"Maybe we should just wait to see how many actual dates we're going to play?" Ace jumped in as he rubbed wax on the side of a tom.  
  
"Wasn't Kidd supposed to call you or something?" Luffy asked as he finally pulled his head out of the fridge.  
  
Zoro looked up and saw that everyone was staring at him "He was busy, maybe?" He frowned "Don't give me that look, we all work and planning a tour isn't a walk in the park."  
  
Sanji snorted "Look at you acting like a professional."  
  
Zoro glowered at him "Shut the fuck up, idiot."  
  
"Want me to test the new drum heads by smashing your face into them?" Sanji threatened as he pushed his chair backwards.  
  
Franky placed a hand on his arm "Don't start, you dumbasses," he glared at him, then with a click of the mouse his printer came to life "just take a look at how this comes out."  
  
Zoro shook his head and went back to tune his drums as the printer did his job and everyone else stared at it in an expectant, almost religious silence for the setlist to be on paper.  
  
It might have sounded stupid to others, but all of that was actually a big deal for all of them, so even just having the songs that they were going to play during those six dates inked on a piece of paper was something very special.  
  
Zoro watched as Sanji grabbed the sheet and kept it between his thumbs and forefingers as he grinned down at it, looking every bit like an excited kid and sending those uneasy vibrations down the pit of Zoro's stomach.  
  
Sanji read out loud the setlist, slowly, as if he was savoring every word like the finest dish he had ever cooked, and as he did so everyone's enthusiasm only grew stronger.  
  
They had chosen to play a total of ten songs, three of which were covers, while the rest were all their original tracks.  
  
They were going to open the show with _The Crows Are Coming_ , a Game Of Thrones inspired song written by Zoro that represented them as a band and they always opened their gigs with. _The Siren_ followed, a song about a creature that seduces evil and impure men and lures them to their death, a song during which Sanji loved to move as sinfully and suggestively as humanly possible. The third one would have been _Crimson Lust_ , a song about a couple of male vampires having sex on their blood soaked bed, drinking from one another, another song that Sanji performed so erotically that Zoro wanted to die every time they played it. _Where Is The Light_ would have changed the tone of the show, with the story of a woman trapped in an abusive relationship, narrated as if she'd lost herself into a dark, dangerous and insidious forest; the first cover played would have been Nightwish's _Wish I Had An Angel_ , followed by another song written by Zoro called _Blood On The Snow_ , an epic song about a fierce battle during the cold winter on a snow covered battlefield. The peculiar cover of IAMX's song _I Am Terrified_ would be performed as usual, only by Sanji, Nami and Zoro, followed by the very personal _Tooth And Nail_ , the first song that Sanji had written in his life and told the tale of a young boy who'd been put down, made fun of and bullied but who still did everything he could to achieve his dreams. The third and last cover was going to be _The Wolves Die Young_ by Sonata Arctica, and the show would end with the original _Big Black Wolf_.  
  
Once Sanji finished listing all the titles there was a round of applause, and everyone cheered and whooped like they had won the lottery.  
  
"Guys, if a producer were to casually walk into one of the venues and listen to you play these songs–" Usopp stood up from his seat to emphasize his point "you'd get a contract right away!" he snapped his fingers.  
  
"Yeah right," Zoro snorted and Nami whacked him over the head with one of the old and worn out drum skins.  
  
"Don't be so fucking negative!" she barked out before joining her hands together and staring up at the ceiling "Think of all the money we're going to make!" she sighed and let her eyes fall shut.  
  
"Gold digger!" Luffy nudged her in the thigh with his foot "Think about making _music_ , not money!" he chastised her.  
  
"Kick me again and I'll cut off your foot!" Nami snarled up at him.  
  
"Leave Nami alone!" Sanji shouted from the other side of the room.  
  
Zoro shook his head "Stop doing drugs, seriously."

"So, hey! Do we have to rent a tourbus or something?" Usopp asked out of the blue as he opened his second can of beer.  
  
"Yeah, right," Sanji snorted as he glared at him "Where do you even get these ideas?"  
  
"Are you gonna pay for it?" Nami asked with a raised eyebrows.  
  
"Get me those other rods," Zoro waved his hand in front of Nami's face to get her attention "don't even listen to his crazy ideas."  
  
Nami swatted Zoro's hand away "Don't put your greasy palm in my face!"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "It's not greasy! I'm not changing a tire, for fuck's sake!" he grunted as he glared down at the drum head he had just replaced.  
  
"But we should think big! Make a good impression!" Usopp insisted.  
  
"That would be really cool, though!" Luffy agreed, then clicked his own can with Usopp's.  
  
"Listen, not even Freakshow has a proper tourbus yet, I'm pretty sure of this," Sanji began "and we sure as fucking hell aren't able to afford one."  
  
"It's not even like we're going overseas, we'll probably even get back home after every date," Ace shrugged before standing up and stretching out.  
  
"There's no denying it would be super cool, but it would definitely be super expensive too," Franky jumped on the bandwagon "but dude, when you guys _do_ get a tourbus I wanna drive!"  
  
"No way! I'll drive!" Luffy cut in, slapping himself on the chest.  
  
"No, you're the bassist," Franky frowned "you're a star. So you take it easy while I take the wheel." he nodded slowly, trying to convince the younger boy.  
  
Sanji flicked ashes on the floor and nodded "Like Jesus."  
  
"Stop using my floor as your personal ashtray!" Franky yelled bloody murder as he glowered up at Sanji.  
  
"I'm a singer, I'm a star," Sanji shrugged "I can do it."  
  
"No, you're a fucking dick." Zoro commented from his seat on the couch, but all too soon he found himself thrown to the floor with Sanji on top, growling and trying to strangle him.  
  
"Get the hose, get the hose!" Nami smirked as she shook her head and let them kill each other.  
  
"You're such a big help," Ace scoffed before he and Luffy tried to pull them apart.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Practice was scheduled for every day of the week until the dates were going to be set, so they could improve the arrangements of the covers and put the final touches to the originals, unless someone was otherwise busy, then they'd skip practice and relax a bit.  
  
Right when everyone had started losing hope for Kidd to contact them and let them know anything about the tour at all, on a Thursday morning, while Zoro was coaching a customer at the gym, his phone started vibrating insistently.  
  
"Alright, put your back into it and watch the angle of your legs," Zoro instructed the man before placing a hand on his phone from over the pocket of his sweatpants. "I'll leave you for a couple of minutes, okay? I'll be right back."  
  
Zoro didn't even hear the customer mutter out his consent and just strode towards the backdoor while pulling his cellphone out to check who was calling him. He squinted down at the unknown number and decided to answer while he was still on his way out.  
  
"Hello?" Zoro's tone was slightly lower than usual, he just hoped it wasn't some sales call or other promotional crap.  
  
"Z-Zoro?" the voice from the other end was soft and unsure.  
  
Zoro frowned as he pushed the door open "Yeah, who's this?"  
  
"It's Bartolomeo," there was a small pause and Zoro raised both eyebrows in surprise "I-I'm sorry I'm the one callin' but... Kidd's busy, so he asked me to do this."  
  
"Oh," Zoro blinked in confusion "he gave you my number?"  
  
"He did, yes. Oh God, it doesn't bother you, does it? I'm sorry!" Bartolomeo was so prone to panic when speaking to Zoro it was ridiculous.  
  
"No, no!" Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose, he didn't mean to sound angry or anything "It's fine, it's all good."  
  
"Okay then!" a nervous giggle came from the other end of the phone, then Bartolomeo cleared his throat "So the reason for this call is to let you know that they're planning what they called a _date zero_."  
  
Zoro scowled "Like, in addition to the others?"  
  
"Yes, exactly!" Bartolomeo's tone turned definitely more confident than a few moments earlier "It's a gig that people will pay half the price of the regular ticket and it will take place here in town, at the Colosseum probably."  
  
"Like a promotional show?" Zoro asked as he leaned back against a wall.  
  
Bartolomeo sniggered "Yep! They wanna launch the tour here in your hometown, so people will talk and shit."  
  
A crooked smirk tugged at Zoro's lips. Freakshow definitely knew their shit, Zoro gave them that. "Sounds perfect." Zoro scratched at his eyebrow with his thumb "When would it be?"  
  
"Next Friday, probably? Will you make it?"  
  
Zoro snorted "We definitely will, no problem."  
  
"I can't wait to see you!" Bartolomeo blurted out excitedly, then quickly added "All of you guys!"  
  
Zoro swallowed thickly, but then shook his head. He didn't have to read too much into it, Ace could talk all he wanted but he still didn't want to think that Bartolomeo actually liked him. "Yeah, same." Zoro squeezed his eyes shut and nearly punched himself in the face for his poor choice of words.  
  
The other end of the phone was quiet, and Zoro didn't like the awkward silence, so after clearing his throat he spoke again "Did your brother mention anything about the rest of the tour?" that was exactly what he had wanted to know from the beginning, so he might as well ask Bartolomeo about it.  
  
"Th-the rest? Uh... It should be either one or two dates a week, so you guys don't need to take too many days off at work."  
  
"How thoughtful," Zoro couldn't help but snort. "Will they let us know next Friday, at least?"  
  
"I-I... I don't know? Maybe even sooner?" now Bartolomeo was starting to sound less confident again.  
  
"That would be great," Zoro pushed himself away from the wall and began to walk back towards the door adding a "thank you, Barto."  
  
"Oh, don't even mention it, Zoro!" Bartolomeo suddenly cried out.  
  
Zoro smiled to himself and shook his head "Listen, I gotta head back to work, alright?"  
  
"Sure! Oh God, I held you on the phone for too long, shit! Go back, go back!"  
  
"It's fine, I can always use a break!" Zoro shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"I could call you more often, if you want!" Bartolomeo chuckled, leaving Zoro to gape at the door "I-I mean, no, I-I'm just kidding!"  
  
"No, I–" Zoro shook his head and for a moment he felt some sort of blinding panic wash over him.  
  
"I should go too, actually! B-bye, Zoro!"  
  
"Wai–!" Zoro didn't even manage to say bye to him that Bartolomeo had already ended the call. He stared down at the screen of his cellphone like it was the first time he'd ever even seen one, then blinked "The fuck is going on?" he shook his head and walked back inside the gym.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Zoro tried to bury the awkward part of the phone call as deep into the back of his head as he could and focus on work, this entire Bartolomeo business was the last thing he needed.  
  
What he really needed to do was tell the good news to the others and make sure that they would cancel any plan that could have compromised the show on Friday – well at least it was nearly lunch time, he could speak directly to Sanji and then text the others about it with him.  
  
Still Zoro pulled out his cellphone while his customer was doing push-ups, opened the last received calls list and hovered Bartolomeo's number with his finger until he decided to tap on the options button and save it. He might have needed it, professionally speaking of course, and if Bartolomeo were to call him again at least he would have known it.  
  
Lunch time felt so out of reach during Zoro's last hour of work that he would have gladly smashed his head against the closest wall, still he held on and helped a lady who was in need of a massage to her cramping calf.  
  
"Boy, I don't get them so often," the fair haired woman grimaced down at the pressure that Zoro was applying to her hurting muscle.  
  
"I saw you were working on them the entire morning," Zoro commented, eyes not leaving the woman's calf as he pressed and massaged on the right points "you should balance your exercises more, ma'am."  
  
"Zoro!" suddenly Conis called out.  
  
Zoro perked up and scanned the room to see where the girl was, then arched up an eyebrow once he'd spotted her "What is it?"  
  
Conis didn't even have to say anything that Sanji appeared into his line of sight, grinning like an idiot and flipping him off.  
  
"Dickhead," Zoro tried to mutter as low as he could.  
  
"Is that your boyfriend?" the woman asked innocently.  
  
Zoro turned so hard to look at her that he lost his balance and fell ass first on the parquet. He could hear Sanji laughing his ass off from the other side of the room, so Zoro made a mental note to strangle him later.  
  
"Are you alright?!" the woman asked, eyes wide with worry.  
  
Zoro's face was burning and he definitely didn't need the many mirrors covering the walls to remind him of how red he was as he got back on his knees. "He's not my boyfriend." he stammered, avoiding to make eye contact.  
  
"Okay," the woman paused for a few seconds before going on "it's just that I'm here almost every morning, and he's always here around this hour."  
  
Zoro looked up at her in horror. Were people spying on him now?  
  
"I don't have a problem with gay people," she shrugged "my cousin is married to a woman." she smiled encouragingly.  
  
Zoro jolted up to his feet "Is your calf better, now?" he didn't have any problem with his sexuality, not at all, but he couldn't stand nosy people.  
  
The woman looked up at him with a confused expression, then nodded "Y-yes, it's all good now, thank you."  
  
"Good. Keep hydrated and don't strain your muscles." Zoro shot the woman a hollow little smile before storming towards Sanji.  
  
"What the fuck are you being paid for? Being a dumbass?" Sanji guffawed into Zoro's face.  
  
"I'll rip off your tongue with my bare hands," Zoro threatened lowly "see how you like to laugh then."  
  
Sanji placed a hand over his chest "You wound me, Marimo." he thrusted the usual box of food in Zoro's arms then pulled out a cigarette from behind his ear and stuck it between his lips "Let's go."  
  
Zoro watched as Sanji sauntered outside, glaring a hole in the back of his stupid blond head, then followed him in silent anger until they settled down on their usual bench and Zoro peeled the lid off the box.  
  
"Grilled salmon and spinach," Sanji sing-songed as he lit himself a cigarette "tasty and healthy."  
  
"It would be even healthier if you didn't smoke while I eat." Zoro rolled his eyes and grabbed the fork to start eating.  
  
"Shut up and eat, ungrateful fuck!" Sanji snarled as he sat on the back of the bench.  
  
"I got news." Zoro started before jamming a huge piece of salmon inside his mouth.  
  
Sanji's eyebrow quirked "Yeah? Tour news?"  
  
Zoro nodded as he chewed slowly, so that he could use the food in his mouth as a reason not to speak and torture Sanji with the suspense.  
  
"What is it then?" Sanji tugged on Zoro's ear.  
  
"Ow!" Zoro groaned and finally swallowed his food.  
  
"Speak!" Sanji tugged on the shell of Zoro's ear one last time, then let go of it to flick at his cigarette.  
  
Zoro slapped Sanji's leg and blocked a kick that was aimed at him in return "Stop it!" he growled.  
  
"You started it! Just tell me!" Sanji groaned exasperated "Did Eustass call you?"  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows "Uh... One of them."  
  
Sanji scowled down at him "What the fuck does that even mean?"  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Kidd was busy, so Bartolomeo called me."  
  
Sanji's eyes darkened "Are you fucking kidding me?"  
  
Zoro huffed "What is your damage, Shit Cook? He called me instead of his brother, why are you making that face?"  
  
Sanji flared his nostrils "I don't like him."  
  
"No shit! Really?" Zoro gaped at him in faux surprise "That's brand new information!"  
  
"I'll stab you with that fork, I swear to god!" Sanji sneered lowly.  
  
"Gimme a break." Zoro rolled his eyes "Don't you wanna know what he told me?"  
  
"I don't know, that he fingers himself while thinking about you at night?" Sanji shrugged a shoulder "Or maybe he uses a cucumber."  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "Shut your shitty mouth!"  
  
"Or what?" Sanji retorted.  
  
"I'll knock you over and kick your ass!" Zoro growled "Cut the crap!"

Sanji took a deep drag of cigarette and looked away, letting his bangs fall over his eyes "So what the fuck'd he say?" he finally asked, not looking at Zoro and just puffing away on his practically burnt out cigarette.  
  
Zoro sighed as he watched Sanji, then looked down at his food. Trying to speak to Sanji could drain him more than any kind of physical training, he could be so exhausting some times.  
  
"You got plans for next week on Friday?" Zoro asked before going back to eating his now lukewarm lunch.  
  
Sanji turned to look at him quizzically "I don't know, I still don't have next week's shifts. Why?"  
  
Zoro smirked up at Sanji "We've got a date zero of the tour."  
  
Sanji's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, making the cigarette fall in his lap "Oh shit!" he cried as he just bat away the cigarette and didn't even care that it still wasn't completely finished "A date zero? Like a proper concert with Freakshow and everything?"  
  
Zoro watched the entire scene rolling his eyes but the smirk stayed plastered on his lips "Yes!" he exclaimed victorious as he stabbed another piece of salmon "Like a promotional gig in the bands' hometown, half the price, just us Crows and Freakshow at the Colosseum."  
  
There was a flickering in Sanji's eyes that Zoro rarely saw, it was that particular light of sheer happiness and excitement that only this kind of things could give him. "Shit! That's like... Oh fuck!" he started stammering and giggling, covering his mouth, then running his fingers through his hair "Damn, this is starting to feel real, now! I'm so excited!"  
  
Zoro smiled despite the full mouth and watched as Sanji basked in the enthusiasm that had taken over him. That was definitely a big deal for every one of them, but most of all to Zoro and Sanji. Murder Of Crows was their creature, it was their dream and a way to get revenge over all those people who had bullied them over the years – especially for all the horrible grief people gave to Sanji. That tour was going to take them several small steps closer to all of that.  
  
"I need new clothes for this tour, maybe I should do something to my hair, too." Sanji started rambling as he pulled out another cigarette from the packet.  
  
"There he goes," Zoro muttered and shook his head. He knew that Sanji wasn't even paying attention to him by that time, because when Sanji started babbling like that he didn't care about anything else.  
  
"If you weren't a troglodyte I'd ask you to come clothes shopping with me, but Nami and Vivi are way better at giving advices," Sanji snorted as he went on and paused just enough to light up his cigarette "yeah, I should totally do something to my hair. Not cut them, I like them shoulder-length."  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder as he picked one of the last pieces of salmon, then frowned when he felt his cellphone vibrate inside his pocket. He pulled it out and his scowl became even deeper once he saw that Bartolomeo had just texted him. Zoro looked up at Sanji, then back down at the screen and decided to open the text.  
  
 _'so sorry i hung up on you earlier, im a damn idiot. a rude one too. forgive me.'_  
  
Bartolomeo really liked to apologize, apparently, and Zoro couldn't help but roll his eyes.  
  
"Are you even listening to me?" Sanji smacked Zoro over the head with the lid of the food box.  
  
"Oi! Don't get oil and shit all over my hair!" Zoro growled as he bat the lid away with his hand.  
  
"That would be an improvement," Sanji grunted with raised eyebrows "listen to me when I talk to you, bastard!"  
  
"You wanna do something to your stupid hair and buy more clothes, as if you don't have enough shit already!" Zoro singsonged, looking at him with the blank expression of someone who had said and heard all of that way too many times.  
  
"Fuck you!" Sanji huffed, then tried to peek at Zoro's phone "Who is it, anyway? Ace? Luffy?"  
  
"Mind your own business?" Zoro raised his eyebrows as he stuffed the phone back in his pocket.  
  
Sanji drew his eyebrows together in a mixture of confusion and outrage "What the fuck?" he took the cigarette away from his lips and casually flicked off the ashes on the ground "Since when do you care if I ask you who's texting you?"  
  
"Because you're a pain in the ass." Zoro deadpanned as he finished off his lunch, then handed the empty box to Sanji.  
  
"Hey, fuck you!" Sanji spat, not even looking down at the box "Why are you being like this?"  
  
Zoro groaned and threw his head back "It's Bartolomeo, okay? He just texted me." he gave in, just because he knew that otherwise Sanji would hold a grudge against him for a month or something. Not that he didn't know that he would have probably been screwed whether he'd say who it was or not – he didn't even consider lying because he didn't see the point in doing so.  
  
Sanji's expression turned to something unreadable, then his eyes darkened "You two are texting, now?" he asked with that faux calm that Zoro knew all too well.  
  
"What the hell?" Zoro grimaced "He just texted me, he didn't even have my number before he called me a couple hours ago." then he blinked and shook his head "Why should I even justify myself? He's a person I know and he just texted me, so what?"  
  
Sanji didn't look at him but he took the box from Zoro's hands and hopped off of the bench "I gotta go back. Remember to tell the others about Friday."  
  
"Don't you walk away now, Cook." Zoro's voice was deeper than usual, thick with irritation towards Sanji's behavior.  
  
"Or what?" Sanji asked as he looked at him "I have to go to work, or else Zeff will be a pain in the ass," then he raised his eyebrows "just like his son."  
  
Of course he would play the victim now, how typical. "Don't make this about you, Cook, you're the one who turns into a three headed monster if I dare to even mention Kidd's brother!"  
  
Sanji didn't answer to him, he turned on his heels and began to walk away "Date zero. Tell the other Crows." was all he said before disappearing.  
  
Zoro punched the bench so hard that he broke one of the planks and got several splinters to jab into his fist "Fuck!" he hissed as he looked down at his hand, clenching and unclenching it, then looked over at the gate of the gym and shook his head.  
  
Great. Now he would have had to take the splinters out, just to make his already terrible mood worse.  
  
When Sanji shut Zoro out like that it was one of the worst things ever, there was no telling when he would stop ignoring him and Zoro refused to justify his behavior. There was no point in lashing out like that, and if they had both been better at expressing their feelings Sanji should have just explained to Zoro why Bartolomeo disturbed him so much, instead of storming off and ignore the matter completely.  
  
Zoro was starting to believe his brother, of course. He believed that Bartolomeo had a crush on him, and believed that Sanji had noticed and was unreasonably jealous, and maybe if he would just admit that, then things would be much easier.  
  
Zoro didn't care whether Bartolomeo was hitting on him or not, he wasn't the kind of person to fall for a few nice words or kind actions, he wouldn't just replace the most important person of his life in the blink of an eye, no matter how horrible that person could be to him sometimes.  
  
It was unconditional love the one he felt for Sanji, he didn't like his flaws and was pretty vocal about it, but he accepted them, because they were the things that made Sanji who he was, that made him special and different from everyone else.  
  
Zoro didn't want anyone else, didn't need anyone else, it wasn't an obsession, it was the purest and most sincere of sentiments that he could only feel for that single person that had made his life so much better, and it hurt more than any wound he'd ever endured in his life that Sanji would even think that someone else could ever take his place in Zoro's heart.

"Zoro, is everything alright?"  
  
Conis' voice brought Zoro back to reality, making him look up at the worried expression of the receptionist that was looking down at him.  
  
"Yeah, I just–" Zoro didn't really know what to say as he looked down at his grazed knuckles with a frown.  
  
"Oh God! What did you do?" Conis cried out as she saw Zoro's hand "You need to go to the hospital!"  
  
"Just a few scratches and a couple splinters aren't worth a trip to the hospital." Zoro waved the other hand "Don't worry," he stood up and gestured to the bench before walking back inside the gym "I'll pay for that."  
  
He didn't wait for Conis to go after him and just went to the restrooms to at least wash the blood off his hand. His knuckles burned and the splinters stung, and Zoro knew he couldn't just leave them in the whole day, he was going to need help to get them out, especially since he didn't have needles or tweezers, or anything else that he could use to remove them. Well, he was going to find a way to fix his own stupid mess once his shift would be over.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
Zoro kept working like his hand was uninjured, despite colleagues and customers telling him that he should have at least disinfected his knuckles, he just shrugged it off and kept on helping people lift and all sorts of things.  
  
Once he was finally able to go back to the changing room and relax, he suddenly remembered about the news he still hadn't told the rest of the Crows about.  
  
"Ah, shit." Zoro rested his head back against the wall and fished his cellphone out of his pocket. He hadn't noticed that he had accidentally switched the vibration off, so he found way too many unread texts.  
  
The Crows convo was the one with the greatest number of messages, so he figured out that Sanji had probably told them about the date zero before he could do that, then there were a couple more texts from Bartolomeo.  
  
Zoro sighed and quickly scrolled through the group chat to see what the guys were actually talking about, and after dozens of messages he finally found the first of the day, which was Sanji's indeed.  
  
 _'i see the moss-brain shit still hasn't told you yet... well it doesn't surprise me, because he's dumb as fuck and he's probably busy lifting a house or something. shit aside, wE'RE PLAYING WITH FREAKSHOW NEXT WEEK, ON A FRIDAY, FOR THE DATE ZERO OF THE TOUR HERE AT THE COLOSSEUM.'_  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes at the beginning of the text, but he couldn't help grinning at the excitement of the messages from the rest of the band and their friends who were seriously going crazy over the news.  
  
Then he noticed that the conversation had taken a different path and they had started talking about Vivi being away with her family for a couple weeks and how Nami was sad because Vivi would have spent her birthday away from her, so Franky had offered to host a late birthday party at his house the day after the concert, that would have also celebrated the beginning of their tour with Freakshow.  
  
Zoro wasn't particularly fond of parties, but he surely was fond of drinking and spending time with his friends, so he was definitely okay with the idea of Franky throwing a party at his house.  
  
 _'i was definitely lifting houses and my phone was on silent, sorry for not being the one to tell you the good news, but i see that the shit cook did a good job. also the party sounds great, i'm terrible with presents so nami you'll have to help me out with that.'_  
  
Zoro hit send, then stood up from his seat to change his clothes and shoes. He wasn't particularly eager to head to the dojo, but Mihawk was probably going to be able to help him with those damn splinters... Once he would have stopped making fun of him or whatever he was going to do once he'd see his hand.  
  
Zoro sat down again to put on his boots, then remembered about Bartolomeo's texts, he had nearly forgotten about those and no one else had still replied to him so it was the perfect moment to check what Bartolomeo was texting him about.  
  
 _'i must have really done something wrong, i talk too much i know, i'm so sorry i don't want you to be pissed'_  
  
 _'and you also hate it when i apologize too much ugh, i'm a fucking idiot loser'_  
  
Zoro sighed long and loud as he read the texts, Bartolomeo was a good guy but he could definitely be unnerving at times, especially after work, but even more after fighting with Sanji and having microscopic wood chips embedded into his flesh. Zoro cursed Kidd mentally for giving Bartolomeo his number, then proceeded to type up an answer.  
  
 _'look, i'm not mad, i was just busy. i was working and i've had a bit of a rough time. relax, ok? also never mind about the phone call.'_  
  
Zoro sent the text and slid his cellphone into the pocket of his torn jeans, then proceeded to slip on and tie up his combat boots, even if his left hand was definitely giving him a hard time.  
  
He had just stood up whent his phone buzzed against his thigh. Zoro did hope it was one of the Crows, but when he pulled out his phone he saw it was Bartolomeo's reply.  
  
"Jesus, fuck..." Zoro's eyes rolled in the back of his skull before he opened the message.  
  
 _'oh god, that's a relief, it'd kill me to know that i'd wronged you, really. i'm so sorry to hear you had a rough time, hopefully your evening will be better. i'll leave you alone now, can't wait to see you at the gig!'_  
  
Zoro wanted to be annoyed, but Bartolomeo had been so nice to him that it felt wrong to be mad at him in any way. 

 _'i hope so too. yeah, i'll see you there.'_  
  
Zoro stared down at his minimalistic reply for a while before sending it, then he pushed his phone back into his pocket and finally shouldered his bag to take his leave.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
The rest of the evening at the dojo wasn't half bad as he had thought, and curiously enough Mihawk didn't comment too much on Zoro's wound apart from telling him that he should avoid doing stupid things that might compromise both his swords and drumsticks wielding – and yes, Zoro had been quite shocked to hear that sort of kind paternal advice, so much that he nearly punched Mihawk in the face while the man bandaged his hand.  
  
When the pair of tired but proud swordsmen entered their house, what they didn't expect was to find the rest of their family drinking beer and placing two gigantic pizzas on the coffee table.  
  
"What is going on in here?" Mihawk asked as the deepest of frowns twisted his face.  
  
Zoro dropped his bag in the usual corner and shrugged a shoulder, there was no way he was going to question pizza and few cold ones.  
  
Shanks popped an Heineken open and walked towards his husband with the smuggest of grins "We need to celebrate our kids' success!" he handed the beer bottle to Mihawk.  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows and watched as his brothers gave him the thumbs up, they had definitely told Shanks about the date zero and the tour, and he had probably decided to throw a domestic, last minute party. That was definitely very Shanks-like.  
  
"What success?" Mihawk kept scowling at Shanks, then turned to Zoro "You didn't mention anything."  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I was going to tell you once we'd get home." which was partly a lie because it had totally slipped his mind, but he was sure that Ace and Luffy would have taken over.  
  
"We're going on tour!" Luffy cried out, throwing his arms in the air and spilling beer all around.  
  
"A tour? What?" Mihawk looked more and more lost, and Ace and Shanks were clearly keeping from throwing themselves to the floor and laugh at Mihawk's completely puzzled expression.  
  
"The guys from another local band, who are more famous than us and have a contract and shit," Zoro began to explain, since apparently no one else was going to "asked us to open a few dates of their tour. They're not many, like five or six, but it's still something." Zoro shrugged, almost as if he was pretending like it wasn't that big of a deal and just some casual conversation.  
  
"Our children are gonna be famous! Aren't you excited?" Shanks shouted as he grabbed Mihawk by the shoulders and shook him lightly.  
  
Zoro shook his head, smirking at his parents as he moved to finally grab the beer that Ace had been waving in his direction since he had walked past the threshold.  
  
Ace leaned in to speak into Zoro's ear "I think I'm gonna tell Smoker to come see us at the date zero." he pulled back to beam at his brother.  
  
Zoro sniggered and nodded "Sure, do that." he clapped a hand on Ace's shoulder and squeezed it.  
  
"On tour? When? And where?" Mihawk began asking "Outside the country?"  
  
"On the moon!" Shanks commented sarcastically as he rolled his eyes "No, they're staying inside country for now."  
  
"We're playing at the Colosseum for a date zero, next week!" Luffy informed Mihawk "You guys should come see us! You haven't done that in ages!"  
  
"That's because they're old and they'd rather stay home." Zoro nodded.  
  
"That, and they have to put their alone time to good use," Ace nodded as well, then humped the air in a very suggestive manner.  
  
"Yeah, that too!" Zoro laughed and shook his head.  
  
"Christ, boys." Shanks had tried not to laugh but it had been impossible.  
  
"If you go on tour we'll definitely have more time to dedicate to sex. There's no doubt about that." Mihawk stated, as blunt as he could be, then took a big swig of beer while everyone looked at him in mild shock "But I guess we can make an exception and come see you at the Colosseum."  
  
"Oh... Fuck..." Ace was the first to break the ice.  
  
Shanks looked at Mihawk and shook his head slowly "You're terrible, you know that?" Mihawk shrugged in response, so Shanks went on "That's why you're my husband." Mihawk nodded and Shanks laughed before pulling him into a kiss.  
  
"Whoa whoa whoa! Go upstairs!" Ace commented, pulling a face.  
  
"It's like a car crash," Zoro grimaced "you wanna look away but really you can't."  
  
"Oh, shut up you amateurs!" Shanks huffed after breaking the kiss "You may speak up again once you'll be married and have a bunch of annoying kids like yourselves!"  
  
Ace and Zoro gasped out in outrage.  
  
"Oh we are annoying, huh?" Ace folded his arms across his chest.  
  
"You wanted us," Zoro crossed his arms as well, then raised an eyebrow at Mihawk "especially me!"  
  
"Luffy! Are you hearing this?" Ace called out, but there was no answer, so he furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look at him "Luffy, wher–" then he stopped suddenly as he saw his little brother stuffing his face with as much pizza as he could.  
  
"Fucking hell." Zoro shook his head and sniggered.  
  
"And you guys are expensive too," Mihawk finally spoke up "the food you consume could be used to feed a small village!" Mihawk turned to Shanks to seek his help on the matter, but he was laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. "Why?" Mihawk shook his head and threw Zoro and Ace in hysterics too.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The Crows kept on rehearsing like there was no tomorrow during the days that separated them from the fateful date zero, and between Zoro and Sanji things slowly but surely got better.  
  
Bartolomeo had texted Zoro a few more times to talk about the most trivial stuff, but still he tried to keep up some sort of conversation with Zoro who decided to humor him, at least when he was bored and alone. He avoided texting back to him when Sanji was around, not because he didn't want to see him burst with jealousy, but because he didn't want to deal with the drama which obviously was going to follow.  
  
On Friday morning Ace had asked Zoro to take the day off from work and join he and Sanji to the hair salon, just to keep them company, but Zoro had preferred to only take the evening off from the dojo and work at the gym in the morning.  
  
"You girls go have fun." Zoro waved his hand as he shouldered his bag on his way out.  
  
"I wanna skip school, I'll come with you guys!" Luffy whined as he glared down at his backpack.  
  
"No, you'll have to skip during the tour, we've talked about this a million times!" Ace growled as he shrugged on his coat.  
  
"I wanna drop out, already!" Luffy groaned, and Ace widened his eyes.  
  
"Shut your mouth! Don't let dad hear you, or he'll kick your ass!" Ace chastised him, pressing a hand against his lips.  
  
Zoro shook his head and opened the front door "I'm gonna go, or I'll be late."  
  
"Don't get lost!" Ace waved at him.  
  
Zoro flipped him the bird "I hope you go bald!" he saw Ace picking up Luffy's backpack and knew he was ready to fling it at him, so Zoro stepped outside and shut the door behind him as quickly as he could.  
  
After the agonizing wait that everyone had gone through for the entire day, the band met up at Franky's so that they could go all together at the Colosseum for the soundcheck and to finally get ready for the gig.  
  
Apparently every member of the band apart from Zoro had got themselves something new just to kick off the tour, be it a haircut or a piercing, or a piece of clothing.  
  
Ace had dyed the tips of his hair a fiery shade of red, while Sanji had dyed his own tips black, apparently Nami had visited the hairdresser too, since her ginger head was now sporting an undercut, and Luffy had added a second eyebrow piercing next to the one he already had on his right eyebrow over the past weekend.  
  
"What the fuck, am I the only one who still has the same hair and the same number of piercings as always?" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows right after Nami had let him touch the shaved half of her head.  
  
"I told you to come with us, this morning!" Ace sighed as Franky unlocked his van.  
  
"My hair is fine the way it is." Zoro grunted as he opened the back of the van.  
  
"Then you should have come with me last week," Sanji cut in as he unbuttoned his coat and lifted up his shirt to reveal a still healing left nipple piercing.  
  
Zoro didn't want to get hard even before arriving at the venue, but apparently Sanji had other plans.  
  
"You didn't tell me about it!" Ace gasped, almost offended.  
  
"Oh God, it looks great! Where'd you get it? I wanted to pierce mine too!" Vivi chimed in and both Sanji and Ace turned to her looking like they were on the verge of a nosebleed.  
  
"She just wants the address of the piercer, she isn't inviting you to watch." Nami's voice was low and threatening, and her eyes were dark and dangerous.  
  
"Of course, of course!" Sanji and Ace both spluttered out like a pair of scaredy cats.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and climbed inside the van, taking place on the center row, right after Usopp had claimed shotgun as usual. Luffy wasn't exactly alright with Usopp's decision but was still happy to share the back row with Nami and Vivi.  
  
"Isn't Brook coming too?" Usopp suddenly asked as he poked his head out of the rolled down window.  
  
"He's getting there on his own, just sit tight." Franky reassured him as he pushed Usopp's head back inside the van.  
  
Sanji hopped right next to Zoro, and Ace sat beside him.  
  
"Oh, I'm in the middle of a hunky siblings sandwich!" Sanji exclaimed "Has my birthday come earlier, this year?" he added with a smirk.  
  
"Quit being a living porn cliché, shit Cook." Zoro growled with a grimace.  
  
"Fuck off, Marimo!"  
  
"I'm gonna throw both of you out of my car!" Franky barked as he turned in his seat to glare at them.  
  
Zoro and Sanji both folded their arms over their chests and looked in opposite directions.  
  
"Jesus, it's like dealing with second graders!" Franky huffed as he finally turned on the van and the engine roared to life. "I'll have to go a bit fast, or else we'll be _super_ late. I hope you put your seatbelts on!" Franky grinned at the others through the rearview mirror before backing the van out of the parking and speeding off in the direction of the Colosseum.

Outside of the venue there were already at least twenty or more people queuing up, some of them were sitting, other standing in a small group and there were still three hours to go before the concert would even happen. Those things had never happened to the Crows, and they genuinely couldn't believe their eyes when they hopped out of the van.  
  
"They're here! Oh God, Sanji dyed his hair!" Duval cried out all of a sudden, making everyone in the band jump in surprise.  
  
Perona and Hancock were there too, wearing Murder Of Crows shirts, shouting out greetings and waving their arms together with the rest of their fans.  
  
"God, this is the best feeling ever!" Luffy bursted as he grinned and waved back at the small crowd.  
  
"And we still haven't got on stage!" Ace smirked and decided to approach the people in line, so that he could greet them properly.  
  
"We should really get inside..." Franky tried to say with a tone so unconvincing that not even he could believe himself.  
  
"Fuck it, the soundcheck can wait." Sanji shrugged and grabbed Zoro by the sleeve of his jacket "You comin'?" he grinned.  
  
Zoro snorted "Of course, I am." and with those few words they went to bask in the small yet wonderful glory of having such dedicated fans, followed by Nami who definitely wasn't going to miss out on it.  
  
They usually always spoke to fans after their shows, because people mostly came on time for the beginning of the concert and never earlier, but if this was starting to be a thing for them then they definitely weren't going to complain.  
  
Zoro felt so thrilled that he didn't even mind having to take the millionth photo together with Perona, he spoke to many Freakshow fans too, and found it extremely odd that people were asking him if it was true that he and Sanji were dating – where the hell did they even get that idea?! Another thing that he found extremely weird was not to see Bartolomeo there with the other fans, even if Zoro now knew that he worked with Freakshow.  
  
"Guys, I hate to be a party pooper," Franky chimed in once again "but you really need to get inside."  
  
Zoro looked at their roadie, then back at the guy who he'd been speaking to and patted him on the shoulder "Sorry pal," he then jabbed his thumb back at Franky "you heard the man."  
  
Sanji shook Duval's hands off his wrists "Yes, we gotta go now. We'll see you later."  
  
"Bye guys and girls!" Ace beamed at them one last time, then yanked Luffy out of Hancock's reach to follow the others inside.  
  
"Later everyone!" Nami winked, and there was a choir of moans and cries that made her snigger on her way into the Colosseum.  
  
"Yohohoho! Here you are! I thought you weren't going to make it!" Brook greeted them with a wide smile and spread arms.  
  
"Brook!" they all cried out in unison.  
  
"We thought we were never gonna see you again!" Luffy replied before he and Usopp ran to hug him.  
  
"You'll never get rid of me! Not even when you'll be worldwide famous! Yohohoho!" Brook hugged the two boys back, then looked over at Nami and Vivi "Oh! My beautiful ladies, here you are!" he went to kiss their hands.  
  
"Before you even ask, we won't show you our panties." Vivi sighed as she let Brook press his lips to the back of her hand.  
  
"So the pervert is with you," a female voice cut in from behind Brook, catching everyone's attention "he asked the same thing to me. I'm not even wearing any panties."  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows at the figure who was still hidden behind Brook's height, then widened his eyes when he realized it was Bonnie.  
  
"You're not wearing any?!" Sanji cried all of a sudden, making Zoro glare a hole into his skull.  
  
"Nope." Bonnie folded her arms over her chest "I'm wearing boxers."  
  
Zoro snorted at that answer, arching an eyebrow as he glanced at Sanji to see his reaction and, surprisingly, he didn't seem as devastated as Zoro thought he would have looked.  
  
"How funny," Sanji blinked with a shrug of his shoulders "I'm wearing panties."  
  
Zoro widened his eyes, and Luffy started laughing really hard behind him. Everything Sanji was doing and saying seriously made Zoro wonder whether he was going to make it alive by the end of the night or not.  
  
"You definitely are a curious bunch," Bonnie smirked at Sanji's answer, then shamelessly eyed Nami from head to toe "and extremely interesting, too."  
  
Zoro caught a glimpse of Vivi wrapping an arm around Nami's waist in a very possessive manner and couldn't help but think that Freakshow was a band made up from sexual predators or something.  
  
"You're Luffy, right?" Bonnie asked as she averted her gaze from Nami to the bassist.  
  
Luffy beamed up at her "Yep!"  
  
"Eustass said you eat as much as I do," Bonnie began as she seemed to study the boy "I don't trust that idiot, I think I should see it for myself."  
  
Luffy sniggered at those words "Whenever you want." he flicked his thumb at the tip of his nose, then added "But I'm pretty sure I will beat you!"  
  
"We'll see about that, shorty!" Bonnie grinned, then whipped her head in the direction of the stage as a voice called out for her "I'll see you all later." and with those last words she went to pick up her guitar and got on stage with the rest of the band.  
  
"I feel like we're gonna have so much fun during this tour!" Luffy commented with a chuckle.  
  
"I'm not sure Vivi feels the same..." Ace smirked as he looked over at the girl who instantly blushed at those words.  
  
"Shut your mouth, Ace!" Vivi sneered and let go of Nami only to cross her arms over her chest.  
  
"Oh c'mon, babe!" Nami groaned, tugging on the hem of Vivi's dress "I don't care about her! I only care about you!"  
  
Zoro heard a gagging sound coming from beside him, and even without turning his head he already knew it had been Sanji.  
  
"Sorry," Sanji said as he lit up a cigarette "my relationship allergy is acting up, do go ahead." he waved a hand and moved outside for a smoke.  
  
Zoro shook his head, then jabbed a thumb in Sanji's direction when he saw Vivi's confused expression "You must know him by now, he has serious issues with couples."  
  
"Yeah, I figured as much." Vivi pursed her lips.  
  
All of a sudden everyone was staring at Zoro with this sympathetic kind of look in their eyes that creeped him out to the point that he widened his eyes and took a step back "S-stop staring at me! You guys are creepy!"  


 

  
* * *  


 

  
Soundcheck didn't go exactly as smooth as they had hoped, there were some mistakes, some imperfections, and everything nearly resulted in a big fight until Brook stepped on stage to chastise their childish behavior. They were just nervous, restless and filled with anxiety to the brim and if they didn't want this date zero to be a disaster they needed to pull their shit together and act like professionals.  
  
Brook's talk apparently came through, since the last part of the soundcheck was close to perfection and served to pump them all up.  
  
Zoro had never been so grateful to hear Brook's laugh as they all got off stage and headed to the changing room to put their war gear on.  
  
"Zoro!"  
  
The drummer scowled, hearing his name called out like that while he was about to step inside the room. Zoro stopped and saw Bartolomeo smiling from ear to ear at him.  
  
"Oh, hey!" Zoro raised a hand in greeting.  
  
"I heard the soundcheck, you're gonna do great tonight!" Bartolomeo gave him a thumbs up.  
  
"We'll try to!" Zoro cocked his head, then felt a slap on his shoulder and when he turned his head he saw Sanji glaring at him.  
  
"C'mon Marimo, or we're gonna be late."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "You're the one who takes forever."  
  
"Just move!" Sanji shoved him.  
  
"Quit being a bossy bastard." Zoro slapped Sanji's hands away.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Zoro shot Bartolomeo an apologetic glance, then let Sanji push him into the changing room.

Zoro had the hardest of times in zipping up his leather pants while side-glancing at Sanji as he dressed up in his fishnet shirt, a pair of short leather shorts, knee high New Rock boots and a black jacket with a feathered collar.  
  
"Dude, you look fucking fabulous!" Ace couldn't help himself as he stopped doing his own make up while looking at Sanji from the mirror.  
  
"I want a jacket like that, too. That's so cool!" Luffy grinned as he watched Sanji twirl and pose like the diva that he was.  
  
"Down boys, there's enough Prince of the Crows for everyone!" Sanji replied with a snigger.  
  
Zoro nibbled on the inside of his cheek and turned around to stop looking at Sanji and focus on how he was going to do his hair – a much better way to pass the time instead of agonizing over the hard on he was idly trying to hide.  
  
Just when he was about to comb his wax slicked fingers through his mohawk to just smooth it back as usual, he felt a pair of hands locking around his wrists that made him scowl and glare back at whoever they belonged to.  
  
"Marimo, it's our first important gig, I am not letting you go out there looking like a cow just lapped at your moss hair."

Zoro didn't really expect that to happen, his tongue felt tied up and he couldn't really manage to spit out a witty retort right away "Fuck... Off! Are you a singer or an hair stylist?" he mentally patted himself on the shoulder for the absolutely clever remark, but then again Sanji was too close and looked too damn spectacular for Zoro's brain to properly connect to his vocal cords.  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow "Are those things supposed to be mutually exclusive?" he rolled his eyes and shook his head "Just shut the fuck up." Sanji dipped his fingers into the wax jar, then proceeded to style Zoro's mohawk. His green hair was now long enough to be tossed partially to the side, so that he had some bangs nearly covering his left eye, then the shorter hair in the back could be played with and maybe spiked up a little.  
  
Zoro kept still through the entire ordeal, his leather pants only feeling tighter as Sanji's hands worked on his head, and a few times, as Sanji (and Zoro could definitely tell he's been doing it on purpose) pressed and massaged his scalp with his fingertips, Zoro had to literally swallow and bite back his moans.  
  
"Are you done?" Zoro complained at some point.  
  
"Yes, shitty Moss Brain, look at you! You're not boring as fuck anymore!" Sanji grinned at Zoro from the mirror.  
  
Zoro flared his nostrils and turned around to hiss "I hope you trip while getting on stage."  
  
Sanji's expression darkened as he bared his teeth "I hope you'll stab yourself in the eye with your stupid drum sticks!"  
  
"Those are very good purposes for our gig, really!" Ace suddenly chimed in, patting his brother on the shoulder "Now how about we calm down and get out of this room?"  
  
"It's time to do some metal!" Luffy cried as he adjusted the t-shirt with a huge, bloody crow on the front "Not argue like a pair of dimwits!"  
  
Sanji and Zoro shared one last deadly glare, then Sanji theatrically pulled away from him and stomped out of the changing room, leaving the three brothers alone.  
  
"Couldn't you just thank him for doing your hair?" Luffy scoffed as he grabbed his bass by the neck.  
  
"No." Zoro grumbled as he wore a pair of fingerless leather gloves. His knuckles were still healing, but he could definitely manage to play.  
  
"You need a hug?" Ace asked, nudging Zoro in the ribs with his drum sticks.  
  
Zoro yanked the sticks out of Ace's grip then looked up at him "No, we're both shirtless. That would be gay as fuck." he deadpanned.  
  
Ace shoved him "Fuck you!"  
  
Zoro grinned and spun one of his sticks through his fingers "I think we should go."  
  
"I think I'm gonna throw up." Luffy said as he threw his fists in the air.  
  
"Do it before you get on stage." Ace patted Luffy on the back, then stepped out.  
  
"C'mon." Zoro pushed Luffy out of the room, where they found everyone else waiting for them.  
  
Yes. Everyone. Even Freakshow.  
  
And apparently they were discussing which one was the best Game Of Thrones character, because Bonnie was wearing her lucky Targaryen t-shirt under her uniform jacket.  
  
"Please, everyone! Arya is the best, her bloodthirst and want for revenge is all I live for." Sanji announced with a dramatic wave of his hand.  
  
"Shut up, Margaery is the absolute best," Nami grimaced "she would make the perfect queen!"  
  
"Margaery? Gimme a break!" Sanji scoffed.  
  
"No way, Tyrion is the smartest, sassiest and greatest of them all!" Usopp tried to hush both of them.  
  
"The Red Viper of Dorne," Franky shrugged "that's all I'm saying."  
  
"We're all forgetting about Jaime Lannister, apparently." Ace chimed in with raised eyebrows.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows, but Law was quicker to ask "Is it 'cause you wanna fuck your brother?"  
  
"What the fuck are you all talking about?" Zoro thundered all of a sudden, enraged by the abrupt turn of the conversation he had just started to hear.  
  
Most of the people jumped, startled by Zoro's shout, and turned to glare at him, except for Bartolomeo who widened his eyes and just stared at him with his jaw hanging.  
  
"By the way you're all fucking wrong," Zoro went on, then pointed at Bonnie ''except you. Khaleesi is the greatest."  
  
"For fuck's sake, get on stage already." Kidd barked as he shook his head and walked back to the changing room.  
  
Law sniggered, and after throwing one last lecherous glance at Sanji he followed Kidd.  
  
"What happened to your hair, Ser Jorah?" Nami gasped as she took a better look at Zoro.  
  
Zoro felt his cheekbones warm up "Don't call me that, you idiot!" he growled.  
  
"I happened." Sanji winked at Nami.  
  
"Wow," Nami blinked "it suits you." she nodded.  
  
Vivi smiled at him as she absentmindedly played with one of the sleeves of Nami's bolero "You really do look fantastic!" then she gestured around "You all do! And I'm so proud of being part of this family!"  
  
There was a choir of _aww's_ and _ohh's_ that Zoro didn't take part in, even if he hadn't been uncomfortable, and Sanji decided to thoroughly ignore as well, especially when Nami embraced Vivi as tight as humanly possible.  
  
"Crows!" Brook suddenly cried as he paced towards them "It's time!"

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, and I was ashamed last time for taking forever to update and look at me now. But hey, I've been on vacation, so I took a vacation from writing as well. I just hope you can forgive me and that this chapter will make up for the delay – also, you might wanna know that I've already started working on chapter eleven.
> 
> The most important thing that I have to tell you though, is that after thinking long and hard about it I decided to change the title of this fanfiction from Lilium to Spit It Out, which is the title to an IAMX song that is going to be extremely important to this story – feel free to look up the lyrics if you don't know it. I'm letting you know this right now but I'll change the title from the next chapter, so you won't be too confused!
> 
> Enjoy!

Not many emotions can compare to the one you feel when the lights in a concert venue are suddenly killed and the background music stops. It's like everyone is holding their breath in trepidation and anticipation of what is going to happen next.  
  
 _Murder Of Crows_ didn't like to step on stage one by one, as their music began, with a dim, colored light to half mask them, they always got on stage all together when complete darkness and a few whispers from the public surrounded them, then all of a sudden Zoro would start banging on his drums and the lights would flash on to reveal the band grinning at the audience, setting the place on fire.  
  
As soon as Zoro played the first notes of _The Crows Are Coming_ , a warm light illuminated the stage and the band came alive, bringing the audience to life along with them as their fans greeted the _Crows_ with shouts and devil horns raised to the sky.  
  
No one could tell how anxious the guys in the band actually were, because they looked so natural and confident on stage, just like they were born to do so, and in the first couple minutes of their opening song even the more skeptic of people in the audience were captured by the talent of the performers.  
  
 _"Oh you, sweet summer child  
It's no use to run and hide  
For once the Crows are here, your fate is sealed  
Their thirst for blood and vengeance won't spare a single soul."_  
  
Sanji's voice resonated deep and powerful inside the Colosseum, accompanied by the hammering rhythm of Zoro's drums and Luffy's bass, and made even more spectacular by Nami's keyboard and Ace's wild guitar riff.  
  
"Well, well, well..." a tall man in one of the back rows nudged his silver haired friend in the arm with his elbow "When you told me that your boy toy had a band I didn't think it was gonna be _this_ good."  
  
"Fuck you, Kuzan!" the man snarled around the cigar he was smoking "I told you he's not my boy toy!" his flushed ears and cheekbones were barely visible in the dim light of the venue, and he thanked his good star for that.  
  
Aokiji threw his head back, a throaty laugh spilling from his lips as he did so "I just love how fired up you get when I tease you about him." he smirked, then cocked his head in the direction of the stage "I'll give it to them, they definitely have the talent to become pretty big."  
  
Smoker didn't say anything, he just nodded with his eyes firmly glued on Ace's figure and his arms crossed over his broad chest.  
  
"The singer looks like he just crawled out of the dirtiest dreams of a pervert," Aokiji raised his eyebrows, impressed "but I know he isn't your type. The guitarist is buff enough to handle your brute strength."  
  
Smoker's head whipped in Aokiji's direction as fast as lightning "Shut the fuck up! Stop being like this or I'll kill you!"  
  
The couple right behind them had been listening to them since they'd started speaking about the members of the band, distracting them from actually enjoying the show, and they were absolutely petrified by their comments.  
  
"It's our son they're talking about?!" Shanks sneered between gritted teeth.  
  
"Those perverts are like... Our age or something." Mihawk commented in a stern tone, still keeping his usual calm.  
  
"Ace isn't a piece of meat! Nor Sanji is!" Shanks kept going, his fists tightening at his sides "That's disgusting, they're just kids!"  
  
"Not really..." Mihawk dared contradict his husband with furrowed eyebrows.  
  
"They are!" Shanks growled lowly, making Mihawk sigh. Hadn't the opening song just ended, Shanks would have probably kept on complaining, but it was just impossible to be heard from over the roaring crowd.  
  
"Good evening, you beautiful bastards!" Sanji cried into the microphone, and everyone screamed greetings back at him. He sniggered, propping one of his feet on top of a speaker and leaning his arms on his knee "I hope you're all doing wonderful!" he continued in a lower voice, the shouts he got in return made his grin grow wider. "Many of you might not know us, but we're here to get close and personal with you all."  
  
"Get close and personal with me, Sanji!" a male voice cut in, making some other people laugh.  
  
Sanji hung and shook his head before replying with a smug smirk "Maybe later..." a few wolf whistles reached the stage, but from behind Sanji came what everyone though was an accidental bang on the drums, making the singer turn around with a scowl "You alright back there?"  
  
Zoro waved a stick, not even looking at Sanji in the eye and just staring down at the bass drum.  
  
Sanji shrugged a shoulder as he went back to speak to the audience "He probably just slipped on a pedal."  
  
Shanks exchanged a somewhat incredulous glance with his husband "Why did we ever allow him into Zoro's bed?"  
  
Mihawk shook his head, slowly "Now I know why Zoro is always so tense. Not even meditation can overcome that kind of frustration."  
  
"Mihawk!!"  
  
Sanji pulled back from the speaker in a theatrical manner "We are _Murder Of Crows_! And this is _The Siren_!"  
  
Nothing but the sound of Nami's keyboards filled the air, as Sanji turned his back to the public, Luffy hopped on the dais of the drums and Ace quickly brought a bottle of water to his lips as he tried to hydrate himself moments before he needed to attack, causing the water to drip down the corner of his lips and roll down his neck and bare chest.  
  
"Oh for Christ's sake." Smoker bit down so hard on a cigar that he nearly chopped off its butt.  
  
Aokiji snorted beside him "I can feel your pain as if it was mine, my friend."  
  
"I'm ashamed of myself," Smoker shook his head and placed a gloved hand over his forehead.  
  
"You're only human." Aokiji clapped a hand on Smoker's shoulder, giving it a sympathetic squeeze.  
  
"I'm gonna murder these men! I swear to Ronnie James Dio!" Shanks growled as he began to roll up the sleeves of his shirt.  
  
"Don't." Mihawk grumbled as he shook his head.  
  
"Are you listening to them?" Shanks cried out in outrage.  
  
"I am," Mihawk rolled his eyes, already exasperated "but Ace is a man now, and it's to be expected that people will make comments on him."  
  
Shanks stared at his husband like he was completely demented "Do you even listen to yourself?!"  
  
"I do." Mihawk paused briefly, his frown deepening "You're too much of a nice man to go Burzum on these people."  
  
"...did you seriously just say that?" Shanks blinked and Mihawk shrugged in response "I was just going to kill them, I wasn't planning on burning churches down."

"You never know."

The second song simmered down and the lights dimmed, the voices coming from the audience sounded enthusiastic and the band was quivering in excitement.  
  
Sanji was smiling back at Nami who grinned and gave him a thumbs up, then Luffy stepped between them only to wrap an arm around Sanji's shoulder and press a kiss to his temple. Zoro was watching them with an ever so fond smile, before something in the crowd caught his attention and he couldn't help but beckon Ace towards his drum set.  
  
"What?" Ace asked, eyebrows drew in confusion as he stood close to his brother.  
  
"Please..." Zoro began as he pointed at a spot in the far left of the venue, not too far from the bar "Tell me that the guy standing just in front of our parents isn't Smoker."  
  
Probably for the first time in his life – alright no, it really wasn't the first time, Zoro had only seen that same look on Ace's face already, when Luffy had snapped his elbow right before their eyes as a child. For the second time in his life, Zoro watched horror twist Ace's gentle features and color wash away from his cheeks.  
  
"Shit. You're not gonna throw up, right?" Zoro widened his eyes as he looked at Ace's horrified expression.  
  
"Fuck, what were the goddamn odds?" Ace growled low as his left hand clutched the neck of his guitar.  
  
Zoro bit his lower lip, regretting even opening his stupid mouth to point that out. But who knows? Maybe Ace would have seen them while performing and that could have been worse.  
  
"This next song..." Sanji's voice disrupted the moment of torment, hopefully putting everyone back on track "It's sort of a tribute to the band we're going to tour with–" Sanji had to pause, a smirk tugging at his lips as _Freakshow_ fans went nuts. "It was a bit of a last minute change, but we're really big fans of this song so I guess we'll be able to do justice to it." Sanji went on with a theatrical gesture of his hand.  
  
Zoro kicked the double pedals of his bass drums a couple times for effect, not exactly appreciating the way in which Ace flinched slightly as if he had been lost in thought and brutally startled back to reality.  
  
"As you all know, _Freakshow_ started out as a _Marilyn Manson_ cover band," Sanji continued as he rested his foot on the speaker again, his voice turning deeper and warmer "so tonight, we'll play for you and for them, our cover of the brilliant _Marilyn Manson_ 's version of _Personal Jesus_!"  
  
The audience went absolutely wild as he lights turned off and as soon as Sanji growled out " _Reach out and touch faith!_ " Franky switched on only the red spotlights, revealing Sanji lying on his back on the floor as he purred the lyrics into his microphone, with a lit up cigarette between his right middle finger and forefinger.  
  
That was the first time they performed _Personal Jesus_ in front of an audience, sure they had played it plenty of times for fun during practice at Franky's, but Zoro could only imagine what Sanji could have done while singing it during a show, since he had always claimed that Marilyn Manson's songs made him want to have rough, toe curling, sheet tugging and pillow biting sex.  
  
It was truly a blessing that the rhythm of the song wasn't complicated, nor hammering, Zoro still needed to focus if he wanted to play right, but he couldn't really take his eyes off Sanji, not when he sat up on his knees to drag his black lacquered nails down his neck and chest as he sung, only to do the same to the bare portion of his thighs, sucking on his cigarette every now and then as he sang.  
  
Zoro didn't even have to look at the crowd to know that both men and women were drawn to Sanji, he knew that the blond was exactly like the siren he'd been singing about on the previous song, and Zoro was the most helpless of his victims. He messed up slightly during the chorus but quickly made up for it, shaking sweat and a few wet bangs from his forehead as he focused on the skins of his drums alone.  
  
Shit. He couldn't fuck up on that particular night. He needed to pull himself together and keep his gaze away from Sanji as much as he could. Especially now that he was half curled around Luffy who was smirking like a little shit while everyone howled at how Sanji was grinding up against him.  
  
Sometimes Zoro wished he could be as totally unbothered by sexual advances as his little brother.  
  
On the other hand, Ace seemed to have finally regained both color and confidence, as he strummed his guitar with closed eyes, completely enraptured by the melody. There were no more distractions as he wandered around the stage when no particularly complicated riffs were in sight, and only stopped to play back to back with Luffy.  
  
The lack of interaction with the rest of the band for he and Nami had always kind of bothered him, but it really couldn't be helped. But then again at times like those, not having Sanji rub up against him was an actual blessing from the gods. 

A song that lasted four minutes seemed to carry on for an hour, as Zoro struggled with the urge to look at Sanji and his lecherous movements, while his brain forced him to focus and not forget how to play drums all of a sudden.  
  
Zoro had no clue about how time and space worked anymore, mainly because he was having the time of his life on stage. The world outside had stopped existing when they'd hopped up on stage and the ticking of the clock didn't matter anymore. He had this rush of adrenaline pumping through his well trained body that didn't allow him to feel fatigue, nor soreness, he could have probably gone on playing for hours.  
  
The feedback they were receiving was mind blowing, overwhelming, the band was on fire and the audience was as in flames as them. If someone was scoffing and huffing they wouldn't have known, because at least 98% of the people in the venue was jumping and singing along with Sanji, sometimes even when they didn't know the lyrics. Putting an end to that beautiful night on that stage felt more surreal than starting it out.  
  
"Thank you so much, Colosseum!" Sanji shouted into the microphone from over the virtuosities of his musicians and the screams of the public "You're all beautiful! And we hope to see you again really fucking soon! Goodnight, you guys!" he blew the audience a kiss and the music gradually stopped playing.  
  
Zoro, Nami, Ace and Luffy joined Sanji by the edge of the stage to wave at the public and bow three times, enjoying the shower of applause and excited whooping, then they slowly and neatly made their way off the stage.  
  
"You. Guys. Are. Fucking. In-cre-di-ble!" Usopp cheered as he saw his friends stepping off the stage.  
  
Franky and Brook looked on the verge of tears as they applauded and shook their heads, still not ready to give in to their emotions.  
  
"We fucking ruled! We're fantastic!" Luffy shouted as Usopp pulled him into a bone crushing hug.  
  
Zoro nearly didn't see Vivi rush into Nami's direction and crash into her arms, but as he walked off stage last he nearly bumped into her.  
  
Everyone was yelling and laughing, holding one another – spinning each other around as they did so, and Zoro's ears were buzzing so much that he nearly didn't know what was going on anymore until...  
  
"We did it, Marimo! We killed it!" Sanji cackled as he appeared seemingly out of nowhere before literally jumping on Zoro's front, and if it weren't for the powerful muscles in Sanji's legs that allowed him to hold fast onto Zoro's sides, the drummer would have probably dropped him.  
  
It took Zoro a few too many moments to realize what was going on, but then a huge grin that matched Sanji's spread on his lips as he held the blond in his arms and looked up at the excitement painted on Sanji's face.  
  
Now, that was _really_ something that made Zoro forget about the existence of anything and anyone else that wasn't that shitty cook. Zoro was suddenly painfully aware of the arms looped around his neck, of the knees wrapped and pressed around his sides, of the gorgeous smile and the glistening eyes staring down at him, and he had no idea as to how he was still standing upright.  
  
"We are great, Marimo! Did you see the crowd? They love us!" Sanji went on chuckling like an over excited child. "And you almost never fucked up!"  
  
Zoro scowled and pouted "What?! I _never_ fucked up!" he lied through his teeth.  
  
Sanji laughed this bubbly, crystalline laugh, throwing his head back, that made Zoro's knees way too weak.  
  
"I actually never do!" Zoro kept blabbing, this time getting infected by Sanji's laughter.  
  
None of them had realized how everyone had gone completely still and quiet around them, none of them could tell that they had everyone's gaze glued to their figures, but they had realized how their noses had softly brushed together, how their eyelids had drooped and their breathing had gone unsteady.  
  
"Oh shit! It's gonna happen!" Luffy couldn't help but whimper out.  
  
"Shut up, dumbass!" Franky whispered as loud as he could.  
  
It was then that the atmosphere broke, and Zoro and Sanji stared at each other with comically wide eyes, blushing so hard that both their faces could have been used to harvest the heat necessary to warm up a small country.  
  
"I-I..." Sanji stuttered as he dropped back to his feet.  
  
"Y-yeah..." Zoro replied as he let go of Sanji's hips and coughed harder then necessary, pretending not to see how fast Sanji slunk off in the direction of the toilets.  
  
"Luffy, you're dead meat!" Zoro heard Nami threaten his younger brother, who squealed under a few of her blows.  
  
Fuck. That was the closest Zoro had ever been to kissing Sanji while sober in all those years. How the hell had that even happened? And with a freaking audience too! Oh God, he wanted to bury himself under six feet of dirt and never come out.  
  
And to top it off his brain had started computing random things and making up theories and other stuff that were only going to make everything worse at the speed of light.  
  
Why would Sanji even do that? Glomping him was something, but leaning in so close to Zoro's face? That was an entirely different matter, and Zoro was probably going to torture himself with those questions. Especially because it had felt too much like something he'd already lived, a deja-vu of the night in which they'd drunkenly made out.  
  
Had Sanji really forgotten about that, or did he just pretend like he couldn't recall it? Of course Zoro had acted like nothing unusual had happened at all, but then again Sanji had indeed fled Zoro's house before the drummer could even wake up.  
  
Fuck, why did those thing had to even happen? Why Zoro was the universe's favorite person to play around with?  
  
"Guys!" a way too familiar voice made him snap out of his state of panic and utter confusion "You were too awesome for words! Wow!"

"Shanks! It's been so long since the last time you came out to see us!" Nami cried out, and Zoro squeezed his eyes shut in order to calm down and face his parents. 

"My darling!" Zoro heard Shanks pause, probably to greet Nami, then went on "It's Mihawk, y'know? He's getting older and he doesn't feel like going out at night, especially to concerts and stuff."  
  
Zoro turned around quickly enough to catch a glimpse of pure murderous threat in Mihawk's eyes.  
  
"Oh please, you two look wonderful!" Nami chirped with a shake of her head "You both look as young as we are!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes at Nami's flattering words, and saw Ace and Luffy sprinting towards their parents before Zoro could even take a few steps ahead.  
  
"I'm so happy you came!" Luffy pulled both men in a tight hug that only Shanks returned, while Mihawk awkwardly kept still with his arms folded across his chest "It was very important for us!"  
  
"It really is awesome!" Ace echoed while Luffy finally let go of Shanks and Mihawk "Did you enjoy the show?"  
  
"It was great! Really!" Shanks smile was all teeth, and Zoro could tell that his excitement was genuine, but then the expression sort of dropped from his father's face "I just–" Shanks bit his lower lip, looking down at the floor as if he was searching for the right words to use in his head "There were these two guys, standing in front of us and–"  
  
"Oh God no, why would you even bring that up?" Mihawk cut in with an eyeroll.  
  
Zoro saw the color being drained from Ace's face all over again, and that was how he knew that that was his cue, so he jumped in, squeezing between his brothers with an arched eyebrow. "No love for the middle child, I take it?"  
  
Shanks scowled at him "Don't be stupid, we love all three of you, you weren't here!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, right." Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, and Ace seemed to relax next to him "So, how did you like the gig, old men?"  
  
"That's the second time I've been called old, I won't take this abuse any longer." Mihawk grumbled, making the other men laugh.  
  
Zoro noticed that Nami had disappeared, and apparently everyone else had sauntered off God knows where, the toilets and the bar were his best guess. He did wonder if Sanji had sneaked away from a window or something, as panic-stricken as he had looked.  
  
"I was just trying to tell Ace something about these really gross grown men that were standing right in front of us." Shanks reattempted resuming his story, and this time Zoro couldn't do anything but glance at his brother and let the carnage begin.  
  
"W-what gross men? What'd they... do, or say?" Ace tried to keep his voice from cracking as he shoved both hands in the back pocket of his pants.  
  
Mihawk shook his head and looked away, as if he didn't want to take part in the conversation that was about to start.  
  
"Wait, what older men?" Luffy frowned.  
  
"I don't know who they were, but they kinda looked about my age, and they kept making these depraved comments about Ace!" Shanks shrugged, then looked over at Ace "They seemed to know you, or something! Or at least, one of them did."  
  
By that time Ace's face was nearly purple, and Zoro had to actually nudge him in the ribs to remind him that he needed to breathe. "W-what? Really?" Ace let out a nervous chuckle "Th-that's silly! I don't think I–" another nudge in the ribs, this time harder, made Ace look down at the floor "I-I invited him..."  
  
Mihawk seemed to come back to life, as his head snapped in Ace's direction and a crease of concern formed between his eyebrows.  
  
"You what?!" Shanks yapped "You invited an old perv to the concert?"  
  
Ace looked like he was ready to perform seppuku there and then, when Luffy suddenly jumped in.  
  
"I knew there was something going on!" Luffy cried out as he stared up at his brother "He must be that mysterious customer that makes you come home all smiley and giddy, huh?" Luffy cackled.  
  
"Luffy!" Ace and Zoro both cried out.  
  
"You knew about this?" Shanks asked Zoro, outraged.  
  
"Why am I suddenly pulled into this?" Zoro huffed, raising his hands.  
  
"Dad! Calm down!" Ace stepped in "I can't even believe Smoker would make such comments about me!"  
  
"Actually his friend was making them, just to tease him." Mihawk chimed in, earning a glare from Shanks "What? It's true!"  
  
Ace raised his eyebrows "R-really?" he blinked and his expression softened into a more sheepish one.  
  
"They were being gross, and you're practically a child!" Shanks growled in return.  
  
"I am an adult! And a consenting one!" Ace retorted, taking Shanks somewhat aback "I like him, and he's a nice guy..."  
  
Shanks was just about to say something in return, but all of a sudden another voice came from between Zoro and Luffy.  
  
"Oh look, my favorite family all reunited!"  
  
Zoro's eyes widened when he saw Sanji smirk at his parents while casually standing beside the person he had nearly kissed a few minutes before.  
  
"S-Sanji!" Shanks looked... Well, Zoro couldn't quite place his odd expression, but Mihawk was staring at Sanji in a way he had never looked at him before.  
  
Right. That was their first time seeing Sanji's way of performing. And they weren't even used to see him dressed like that.  
  
Oops. Shit.  
  
"Did you like us?" Sanji asked with a grin "We've never been this successful, it's insane!"  
  
"Yes!" Shanks tried to imitate Sanji's same thrilled tone of voice "Your voice, oh God! You've got so much better!"  
  
"Really?" Sanji's expression and voice melted into something so pure and genuinely incredulous that Zoro couldn't help but stare at him.  
  
"Son..." Mihawk was suddenly whispering in Zoro's ear, and it had been a miracle that he hadn't shrieked out in fear "Now I know why it's always about him... Do you want me to find a stronger meditation method?"  
  
Zoro reared back as if his ear had just got burned, and stared at his father in horror. No way in heaven, hell or on earth he was going to talk about how much Sanji turned him on with Mihawk.

The moment in which Zoro focused back on Shanks and Sanji, Shanks had gone back to barking at Ace.  
  
"I don't like that he makes obscene comments about you!"  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows "I do not!"  
  
Shanks squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head "No, not you! That... Smoker dude!"  
  
Ace facepalmed really hard "I thought it was just his friend teasing him!"  
  
"Wait, who's the Smoker dude?" Sanji asked, eyebrows impossibly drawn together in utter confusion.  
  
"Ace's boyfriend." Luffy nodded.  
  
"You have a boyfriend?!" Sanji's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.  
  
"He's _not_ my boyfriend!" Ace yelled all of a sudden.  
  
"Oh, but you wish!" Shanks retorted with a severe expression.  
  
"Guys," Zoro grimaced "please, stop this."  
  
"I'm gonna get a beer." Mihawk sighed and calmly tried to get away, until Shanks grabbed him by the elbow and kept him in place.  
  
"You're not going anywhere!" Shanks growled.  
  
"Oh Christ..." Mihawk hissed through gritted teeth.  
  
"Of course I wish!" Ace finally answered "I like him! A lot!"  
  
Shanks would have said something in return, but Freakshow appeared all of a sudden in their uniforms, grinning at the Crows.  
  
"Hey! Great job earlier!" Bonney smirked and playfully punched Luffy's arm.  
  
"Yeah guys, we really liked it!" Kidd gave them a thumbs up and patted Zoro on the back.  
  
"You were some proper eyecandy." Law eyed Sanji from head to toe. The blond gritted his teeth and looked away, and suddenly Zoro's hands itched particularly bad.  
  
"Shut up and walk, Trafalgar." Bonney growled as she pushed him forward.  
  
"Hey, break a leg!" Ace raised a hand before Shanks placed a hand on his arm.  
  
"We're going home now, but we're not done, yet."  
  
Ace dropped his head and didn't say anything.  
  
"We'll see you at home." Shanks told the others "Night Sanji."  
  
Sanji nodded "Goodnight."

As soon as Shanks and Mihawk were gone Sanji turned to look at Ace with extreme suspicion. "How dare you get a boy toy and tell me nothing about him?"  
  
Both Ace and Zoro glared at Sanji.  
  
"Because he _isn't_ my boy toy?" Ace huffed "He's just..." he shrugged, clearly unable to describe what Smoker actually was "He's just this incredibly sexy, hot man that I cannot seem to get." he heaved a long, drawn out sigh as he hung his head.  
  
"How do you guys cope with this sexual frustration thing?" Luffy grimaced, scratching the back of his head as he looked at them "It sounds exhausting!" then added with a smirk "I'm so glad I only care about food, music and videogames."  
  
Zoro and Ace both frowned and sighed out in unison "You really are lucky."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "You weak people."  
  
In the meantime, as they were too busy chatting, Zoro hadn't noticed the figure that was staring at them from a small distance, half hidden in the penumbra. Once he'd caught a glimpse of the presence out of the corner of his eye, Zoro whipped his head into their direction only to see Bartolomeo looking his way, adoringly.  
  
"He-hello, you all!" Bartolomeo finally waved at them.  
  
"'Meo?" Luffy furrowed his brows at him "Hey! What are you doing over there? Come here!" he beckoned him over with a huge smile.  
  
"Oi! Were you lurking, all this time?" Sanji barked, not even remotely considering uttering a simple word of greeting.  
  
"Hey Barto! You alright?" Ace offered him a smile.  
  
Bartolomeo, clearly overwhelmed by the amount of attentions he was getting from his idols, stumbled towards them, nearly falling face first into the floor. Zoro sprinted forward out of instinct to prevent him from falling, and it was in that moment that Bartolomeo nearly showed his entire fist into his own mouth to keep from screaming.  
  
"O-oi! Are you okay?" Zoro asked, worried by the look of apparent horror on Bartolomeo's face.  
  
"I-I-I-I'm... G-great! Th-thank you so much!" Bartolomeo managed to stutter out as Zoro let go of his shoulders.  
  
"You're so weird, 'Meo!" Luffy cackled and shook his head.  
  
"You shitty Marimo!" Zoro heard Sanji sneer from behind him, then he felt a powerful tug on his ear "Let's go watch _Freakshow_ perform, you boorish fuck!"  
  
Zoro threw his head back, groaning in pain "Ow! You fucking asshole!" he turned around to grab Sanji by his neck or something, but the flush on the blond's angry features stopped him from doing so. "I'll kick your ass, later." was Zoro's half-hearted retort.  
  
"Yeah, right." Sanji turned around and began walking in the direction of the best spot where they could watch the band perform from backstage.  
  
"Z-Zoro..." Bartolomeo said softly.  
  
Zoro turned around, a small apologetic smile curving his lips as he shrugged "I'll talk to you after the show, yeah?"  
  
Bartolomeo smiled and nodded "Uh, okay!"  
  
Ace clapped a hand on Bartolomeo's shoulder "Hey, come grab a drink with me and Luffy!"  
  
Zoro hadn't realized right away how hollow Bartolomeo's smile looked, until he saw his eyes light up at Ace's request. Damn it, Zoro was hurting him without realizing it, already.  
  
"Ma-ri-mo!" Sanji called out again.  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Zoro growled "Bossy little shit." he muttered as he avoided looking back at Bartolomeo again. He wasn't going to let guilt ruin that night.

Up to that point Zoro was fairly sure that Sanji was dead jealous of Bartolomeo, no matter the real reason behind it, and Zoro would have lied if he said that he didn't enjoy it a even a little bit. Zoro was also pretty sure that if Bartolomeo hadn't appeared all of a sudden, Sanji wouldn't have cared that much about _Freakshow_ 's performance, especially after the _Crows_ ' successful one. But that was okay, because Zoro was definitely up to spending some alone time with the stupid Cook.  
  
They found a semi-comfortable backstage spot, sitting on a pile of dusty old unused instrument cases, maybe they didn't exactly have a full view of the stage, but it was good enough.  
  
 _Freakshow_ looked completely at ease on stage, everyone was moving around freely and confidently as though they were at home.  
  
Bonney was absolutely kickass as she shredded her guitar back to back with Killer, Heat was an amazing drummer and at times it looked as though he had four arms or something. Then there was Kidd, majestic and statuesque in his stage performance, his voice so deep that it made one's chest vibrate, and not so far from him came Law, strumming his bass and moving with feline grace until he was standing with his back against Kidd's chest and the singer's hand sneaked inside his unbuttoned black shirt.  
  
"Are they fucking kidding?" Zoro didn't even realize he had said that out loud, until he heard Sanji snort beside him.  
  
"That's one hell of a sexy thing to do on stage." Sanji commented, and Zoro saw a weird smirk creeping up to his lips.  
  
Damn, he had never paid much attention to _Freakshow_ 's concert to realize how extremely suggestive Kidd and Law were together on stage, a lot more than Sanji's playful grinding against Luffy or Ace. If one of them had the chance to grope, rub against, lick or even kiss the other they seized it, and it wasn't only just for show, you could definitely tell that the passion between them was authentic.  
  
"Shit." Zoro grunted, way too embarrassed that his mind was wandering and fantasizing about Sanji being like that with him, and that his body was being responsive to those thoughts.

Of course Sanji noticed, turning around and cackling at Zoro's discomfort "It's too bad you're on drums, huh?"

Zoro widened his eyes and blushed wildly in the dim light of the backstage "What the fuck are you talking about?"  
  
Sanji raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk curving his lips "Or I could still come over there every now and then, and see how much I can make you fuck up."  
  
Zoro's mouth felt suddenly dry, and he couldn't help but shove Sanji's face away "Shut the fuck up and keep humping my baby brother!"  
  
Sanji gasped and slapped Zoro's arm "Put your hand on my face again and you'll have to play drums with your ridiculously big forehead!"  
  
"Go on, try it!" Zoro growled. Sanji didn't waste any minute to grab a fistful of Zoro's green hair, since the drummer was still shirtless. "Ow, you shitty dumbass!" Zoro tried to wrestle Sanji's arm away while the blond kept pulling on the bunch of hair in his fist.  
  
"Christ! Why don't you guys put all that energy into something more productive like... Fucking each other?" Nami's annoyed voice was enough to make them both stop and look at her, while Vivi and Usopp sniggered beside her.  
  
"Yeah guys, let out all that frustration that is stored up inside you!" Usopp topped it off, and with a gesture of his hand he showed them the way to the toilets "Get a cubicle, a stall... Something!"  
  
As everyone cackled, Zoro and Sanji were glaring daggers at their friends and their suggestions.  
  
"What a bunch of comedians!" Sanji stood up and walked over to Usopp, snatching the drink he was holding "What is this? A vodka redbull?" he sniffed it and wrinkled his nose "How do you even drink this kinda shit?"  
  
"I got it exactly because I know you hate it, so you wouldn't steal it!" Usopp smirked, then held his hand out to get back the plastic cup from Sanji "Now be a good boy and give it back."  
  
Sanji snorted and handed the drink back "Jerk."  
  
Usopp grinned and took a sip of his cocktail in reply.  
  
Zoro pushed himself off the cases and dusted off the back of his pants. Sweat had been freezing on his skin long enough, and now that every single possibility of being alone with Sanji without arguing was gone, he could finally go back to the changing room to grab a hoodie.  
  
Once he got in front of his locker and opened his bag he snorted at the fact that he had brought his House Targaryen hoodie and prayed that no one was going to make any more stupid Ser Jorah remarks. He pulled the hoodie on and put the bag back inside the locker.  
  
Zoro hesitated for a few moments and decided that lingering in there for a bit longer wasn't going to do him any harm, especially if it gave Sanji some time to cool down after their small fight and their friends' teasing. He sat down on the bench and rested his head back against the wall, he should have emptied his mind if he wanted to relax even just a little, but there was no way he could switch off his brain after every small thing that had happened that night.  
  
Now that he was alone with his thoughts he suddenly recalled the kind, even sweet way in which Sanji had decided to fix Zoro's hair, and if he concentrated hard enough he could almost feel his fingertips combing through his hair again. Things like those didn't happen that often, especially not before a concert and certainly not while other people were watching.  
  
Also what about that almost kiss? How did that even happen in the first place?  
  
Zoro's eyes twitched but they remained shut. He chewed nervously on his lower lip as he thought back about how glorious it felt to kiss Sanji, and how much he had wanted to kiss him again while he was propped up in his arms, all giggles and shiny eyes.  
  
Fuck. On second thought he should have accepted his father's offer to being taught a stronger meditation method, he could feel his stomach quiver and his hips rolled back on their own to ease the tension in the pelvic area.  
  
"Oh, you're here!"  
  
Zoro's eyes snapped open and his head whipped in the direction of the door to see Ace holding a plastic cup of beer.  
  
"Sorry," Ace grinned "I didn't mean to startle you."  
  
Zoro sighed and hung his head, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees "It's fine." he heard his brother step over to him, and suddenly the cup Ace was holding was placed right under Zoro's nose.  
  
"I got you this."  
  
Zoro looked up, then back down at the beer "Thanks, bro." he grabbed the cup and rested back against the wall.  
  
"Seems like we're both having a hard time tonight, huh?" Ace started as he grabbed a hoodie himself.  
  
Zoro grimaced "It should be a great night."  
  
Ace shrugged "It still is," he tugged on the hoodie, then ran his fingers through his hair "by the way, Bartolomeo is out there speaking to Luffy. I hope Sanji won't murder him."  
  
Zoro looked over at Ace with the expression of someone who'd been punched right into the guts "Fuck! I had forgotten about him!" he cried out.  
  
Ace laughed and leaned with his shoulder against his locker "You'll do fine. Definitely better than I did with Smoker." he sighed.  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow "You saw him?" Ace nodded "Well, what happened?" he suddenly remembered about the lager in his hand, so he took a big gulp of it.  
  
"I'm an idiot." Ace shrugged "I kept grinning while he spoke and making lame jokes when I was embarrassed, and now I want to bury myself alive." he whined as he pushed himself away from the lockers and sat down next to his brother.  
  
Zoro gave Ace a sympathetic smile "Well that's part of attempting to flirt." he shrugged a shoulder "At least you're not constantly trying to kill each other." he muttered into his cup before taking a swig.  
  
"At least you experienced some pretty hot kissing attempts."  
  
And there Zoro bursted, spitting beer all over the floor and choking on the ale that was still in his throat. Ace didn't even try to help him stop coughing, he just sat there holding his stomach in hysterics.  
  
"I-I swear to God–" Zoro coughed and burped at the same time, making Ace laugh harder and ending up laughing himself.  
  
When they had both finally calmed down, Ace took the cup out of Zoro's hand, probably to make sure he wouldn't drink while Ace spoke to him. "Seriously, what happened there?"  
  
"Don't ask me, I have no idea." Zoro shook his head "Now give me my booze back."  
  
"I'll have you know that Franky invited Smoker to the party. Embarrassing me even more." Ace rolled his eyes as he handed Zoro his beer back.  
  
A glint of murder shone in Zoro's eyes as he glared at his brother "You introduced Smoker to Franky and not to _me_?"  
  
Ace raised both hands "I did not! I went to speak to Smoker on my own and Usopp, Luffy and Franky got there a few moments later." he shook his head "It was terrible, and I wanted to incinerate them."  
  
Zoro didn't answer, he just finished off his beer.  
  
"Oh please!" Ace growled "Don't you dare sulk!"  
  
"Is he coming to the party, at least?" Zoro mumbled.  
  
Ace pulled a face "He started muttering in a distressed manner, then thanked Franky and said he had to work tomorrow night."  
  
Zoro sighed "Well he's a cop, he's probably busy." then he cocked his head "And our friends possibly scared him."  
  
Ace sniggered "That's likely."  
  
"Think we should go back out there?" Zoro licked his lips.  
  
Ace scrunched his nose "Yeah. I think we should."  
  
"Thought so." Zoro sucked in a deep breath and pushed himself back to his feet. He wavered, looking between the door and Ace's feet, when another thought that had been buzzing at the back of his head came to him. Zoro looked up at his brother with an unsure expression, biting back the words he wanted to say.  
  
Ace furrowed his eyebrows "Zoro?" he tilted his head slightly "You alright?"  
  
Zoro knitted his eyebrows together, staring down at the floor for some moments as he finally began to articulate a sentence "Sanji's so weird tonight..."  
  
Ace snorted "As usual."  
  
Zoro shook his head as he lifted his eyes on Ace's "No, it's different from usual."  
  
Ace stood up from the bench "For the attempted kiss?" he failed to bite back a smug smirk.  
  
Zoro glowered at him "Yeah," he paused for a moment, trying to figure out whether he'd been over reading things in his own head or not. "He hits on you and the others all the time, right?"  
  
Ace's cheekbones suddenly pinked up, and he began to wave his hands as to plead innocent "Well, he can do it how much he wants, he's not getting anything from me!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and for a moment he wondered how scary he must have been to others – not that it bothered him, it was quite the contrary. "I'm not accusing you of anything," Zoro chanted, then narrowed his eyes "unless you really got something to be so worried about." he playfully accused him.  
  
Ace widened his eyes "I'd never do such things to you and you know it!"  
  
Zoro smirked slightly "Good," he stuffed both hands into the pockets of his hoodie "jokes aside, what I was really getting at is that Sanji's been like..." he pulled a disconcerted face "Making innuendos and shit with me, which isn't that common."  
  
Ace frowned thoughtfully as he listened to what his brother had to tell him, then shifted his jaw aside. "He does make this kind of jokes with you too, though... Doesn't he?"  
  
Zoro tilted his head from side to side "Not really, no. He never flirts with me," he shrugged a shoulder "I mean have you seen Trafalgar and Eustass on stage?"  
  
Ace snorted "Shit, they nearly fucked on stage, how could I miss that?"  
  
Zoro nodded "I know. We were watching it too and Sanji told me that even if it was too bad that I had to sit behind a drum set, he'd like to do that kind of things to me, too."  
  
Ace's eyes widened so much that Zoro wondered if it was even humanly possible "He said what?" Ace's voice came out louder than Zoro thought it would.  
  
"Shh! Don't yell!" Zoro hushed him and automatically checked the door "I told you! He's being weird!"  
  
Ace stared down at the floor for some moments, blinking and probably trying to make out what he'd just heard, then looked back up at his brother "Man, I think it's time for you to do some actual flirting with him."  
  
This time it was Zoro's turn to shout like a maniac "Are you out of your fucking sick mind?!"  
  
Ace raised his eyebrows "You'll never know the outcome if you don't give it a try!"  
  
Zoro vigorously shook his head "Forget it, I already know what will happen. I'm not ready to lose him, things are fine just the way they are."  
  
Ace sighed and pursed his lips "They aren't fine, brother. They never are." he rolled his tongue between his lips and placed a hand on Zoro's shoulder "You are _not_ fine."  
  
Zoro gently pushed Ace's hand away, then shook his head one more time "I'm perfectly fine. Stop being concerned over things that don't exist." and with those final words, Zoro exited the changing room, even if he still wasn't ready to face the rest of his friends.

The moment that he stepped out of the changing room Zoro realized that even _Freakshow_ 's performance had ended, making him frown as he wondered for how long he'd actually been locked away with his thoughts and... Well, speaking to his brother had actually taken a while.  
  
He could hear the music from the dj set blasting through the venue, and the voices of the crowd were still loud and excited after the show. He was actually greeted from the music before he could even notice that _Freakshow_ and the _Crows_ were all gathered backstage, speaking and laughing.  
  
Bonney and Luffy were already eating everything from the small buffet that had been offered to the bands as Bartolomeo hovered next to Luffy, Nami and Vivi were animatedly speaking to Wire and Heat and each one of them had a huge beer in their hands, while Usopp, Franky and Sanji were in the farthest corner with Kidd and Law.  
  
"Oh! Food!" Zoro heard Ace say from behind him, then suddenly saw him sprint towards their younger brother. Useless to say that as soon as Bartolomeo realized that Zoro was there and alone, he quickly walked up to him with an excited grin.  
  
"Zoro!"  
  
"Hey Barto, you alright?" Zoro smiled at him.

  
"Yes, thanks! How about you?" Bartolomeo asked before furrowing his eyebrows "I was a little worried that I wasn't seeing you around."  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Nah, I'm all good. I was just taking a break from–" he gestured around them "all this." he smirked.  
  
Bartolomeo sniggered "It's crazy tonight, huh?" then he shook his head and brought both his fists up to his chin "And you guys have been mind blowing! _Oh_. _My_. _God_.!"  
  
Zoro's smirk turned into a full on proud grin "Are you being sincere?" he arched an eyebrow "You're too big of a fan of ours, you might be biased." he teased.  
  
Bartolomeo's eyes became the size of the moon, and a slightly panicked expression twisted his features "N-No! I-it's not that! I-I mean... I might be biased, yeah, but you were truly fucking fantastic!" he cried out, probably loud enough for everyone to hear "I swear! On my life!"  
  
Zoro squinted at Bartolomeo long enough for the poor guy to break a sweat, then smirked and patted Bartolomeo's shoulder "I believe you, I'm just being an asshole!" he cackled, feeling just slightly guilty because of Bartolomeo's bewildered expression.  
  
"Ah..." Bartolomeo blinked for a few moments, still slightly taken aback, then he couldn't help but being infected by Zoro's laugh.

Zoro enjoyed the few minutes in which he was invisible to the rest of the people, to just chat with Bartolomeo. Zoro had never been the type of person who demanded to be complimented by everyone, but after such an important show a bit of flattery definitely wasn't going to hurt him, and Bartolomeo was the right person for that.  
  
"I am serious, the more I listen to _Blood On The Snow_ , the more I fall in love with it," Bartolomeo explained as he shook his head and spread his arms "you're seriously great at writing this kind of epic songs, Zoro!"  
  
"I guess I'm just a big nerd who listened to Blind Guardian, Helloween and Stratovarius for too much as a kid," Zoro smirked, then tilted his head "and I have to thank my parents for that."  
  
Bartolomeo raised his brow in a clear sign of being positively impressed "Well, guess I'll have to thank them too!" he gave a small chuckle, then probably realizing what he had just said he pressed his lips together and looked away in embarrassment.  
  
Zoro blinked and let out a snort. Bartolomeo was the absolute master of sputtering the less appropriate things to everyone he liked, and Zoro couldn't help but finding it funny and kind of endearing too. Even though the aftermath usually resulted in Bartolomeo panicking and trying to make up for what he said, which was more annoying than endearing.  
  
"I didn't mean it like–" Bartolomeo stammered out, cheeks pinking up as he waved both hands in front of him.  
  
Zoro sighed and hung his head "I know what you meant, really. Relax."  
  
Bartolomeo seemed to be chewing down on his tongue as he looked at Zoro with the most sheepish look he could muster "I can only ever make a fool of myself in front of you." he let out a dramatic sigh.  
  
Zoro pursed his lips "You excuse yourself too much," he shrugged a shoulder "I know how you are, and I'm getting used to it. So stop worrying all the damn time!"  
  
Bartolomeo stared at Zoro with a slacked jaw, and for a moment Zoro thought that he was going to bawl his eyes out for having been scolded.  
  
"O-oi..." Zoro scowled deeply as he tried to read Bartolomeo's expression.  
  
"I-I just..." Bartolomeo swallowed thickly "Thank you, this means a lot jus–"  
  
"You fucking nerd! Stop harassing Roronoa!" Kidd's voice interrupted Bartolomeo's words, and Zoro could have sworn he'd seen flames flaring inside Bartolomeo's eyes.  
  
"What the fuck do you want?!" Bartolomeo barked at his brother, making a 360° change of attitude at the drop of a hat.  
  
Zoro turned his head towards Kidd and found him grinning, while not too far from him Sanji was looking just as smug.  
  
"Just come here, both of you!" Kidd beckoned them with a gesture of his gloved hand "C'mon!"  
  
Bartolomeo growled and muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, but even if he couldn't quite place those words Zoro was fairly sure it was probably a colorful string of curses.  
  
Both men approached the small group standing not too far from the stage ladder, and all of a sudden Bartolomeo was enveloped by one of Franky's huge, muscular arms.  
  
"So hey! Listen here, little brother!" Franky exclaimed all of a sudden, then looked at Kidd and Law as well "We're having a party at my place tomorrow! How about you tag along?"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow, not exactly sure that he liked that decision, and as soon as he glanced at Sanji he knew that he definitely hated it, judging by the bare teeth and the deadly glare that the singer was shooting at Franky. Zoro bit his lower lip, clearly holding back his amusement, then turned to look at Bartolomeo, Kidd and Law again.  
  
Bartolomeo was staring at Franky as if he'd just told him he'd won the lottery, and Zoro actually squinted at the way he was slightly but visibly vibrating as Franky still didn't let go of him. Kidd and Law, on the other hand, looked at each other with an extremely relaxed expression, as if they were trying to remember if they had any previous engagement for the next day.  
  
"I guess we could come?" Kidd shrugged, still looking at Law who was sporting a deep, thoughtful frown.  
  
"Err... Yeah?" Law tilted his head, then turned to look at Franky "Yeah, we should be free!"  
  
Zoro didn't feel particularly enthusiastic over Trafalgar's presence at the party, for the sole reason that Sanji would have been there too, but if Eustass was coming along then there shouldn't have been any problem.  
  
"Great!" Franky boomed and let out a small laugh before looking down at Bartolomeo and tightening his hold on him "What about you?"  
  
"Oh God, yes!" Bartolomeo cried out, or maybe it was a moan...? "Yes! I'd love to! Thank you so much!"  
  
Franky chuckled again, then patted Bartolomeo's shoulder (probably a bit too hard) "No problem! The more we are, the better it is!"  
  
Zoro could hear Sanji sneer like an angry dog, and for some reason a deep sense of satisfaction pervaded his body, making it hard for him to bite back a smirk.  
  
"Ohhh! If it isn't my one favorite ladies in the entire world!" Bonney's half-shout made everyone perk up and turn their heads in curiosity.  
  
"Bonney, you're as charming as ever." the tall, jet black-haired woman standing in front of her smirked.  
  
"Robin, long time no see!" Heat smiled as he recognized the woman and walked over to greet her.  
  
"I know, Heat, I'm sorry. I've been quite busy." Robin apologized politely.  
  
"Oh Lord have mercy..." Sanji breathed out as he stared at Robin "That wonderful, majestic creature is a friend of yours?" he cried out with the high-pitched tone he usually used when he spoke about women, and Zoro turned to glare at him in mild disgust.

Law arched an eyebrow, irradiating a somewhat skeptical vibe as he proceeded to answer to Sanji "Uh, yeah... She's a good friend."  
  
Sanji joined his hands together, heaving a dramatic sigh "How could a fairy like her hang out with a bunch of brutes like yourselves?"  
  
Kidd scowled "Now I understand why Roronoa always threatens to break your legs or murder you." he growled.  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows and nodded in approval.  
  
"Whatever, the Marimo can't understand most things!" Sanji waved a hand as he prepared to leap into Robin's direction under the deadly glowers of Zoro, Kidd and Law, until something unexpected happened "Mademois–!"  
  
Franky pressed one of his large hands on Sanji's face and shoved him to the side so hard that he bumped into Bartolomeo who quickly jumped away in terror. "Don't you dare Sanji, not this time!"  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows quizzically as he scanned Franky's expression in order to understand what was going on.  
  
"She's a goddess and deserves nothing but–" Franky pushed his shades further up his head and jabbed a thumb in his own direction "a _super_ guy like me!" he grinned, not even deeming Sanji worthy of a look as he stared at Robin who was being introduced to Nami and Vivi.  
  
"How dare you! You dickwad!" Sanji sneered, but before he had a chance to aim a kick to Franky's head, Zoro caught him by his arm and kept him in place.  
  
"For fuck's sake, Cook, he likes her," Zoro scolded him "why are you so dumb?"  
  
Sanji looked back at Zoro incredulous, and for a few moments he genuinely looked like he was at a loss of words as he stared into Zoro's eyes. "You're so fucking pathetic, Marimo! Mind your own business!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "No, you're pathetic. You don't even like girls!"  
  
"I do like girls!" Sanji retorted with a grunt.  
  
"You know what I mean," Zoro growled lowly, through gritted teeth "stop being an asshole."  
  
Sanji huffed and shook his arm "Well let go of me!"  
  
Zoro loosened the grip and watched Sanji folding his arms over his chest before starting to sulk like a spoiled child who had just been denied his candy.  
  
God he was so exhausting.  
  
Zoro limited himself to shake his head, then glanced at Bartolomeo who was staring at Sanji with an unreadable expression. "Everything okay?" Zoro asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Huh?" Bartolomeo looked at Zoro with widened eyes, then nodded vigorously "Oh, yes! Yes, I'm fine."  
  
Zoro nodded himself, then looked over at Franky who had just approached Robin and the others. They had all seen Franky mildly flirt and fool around with girls, just like they had heard him comment on them, but that was the absolute first time that Zoro had heard Franky address someone as a goddess, and the very first time that he had seen that look of extreme determination in his eyes.  
  
He couldn't exactly hear what Franky was saying, but he had probably started off with something stupid, because Vivi had broken into a soft giggle, while Nami and Robin seemed to be staring at him blankly. If Zoro looked a bit to the left he could also see his brothers and Usopp trying to muffle their laughter as much as they could with food and all the rest, so yeah, Franky was probably making a fool of himself. Poor guy.  
  
"I'm gonna get changed," Law's voice suddenly broke the silence and made Zoro turn to look at him "you comin'?" Law asked as he looked at Kidd. He didn't even wait for an answer and just sauntered off in the direction of the changing room that had been assigned to them, and Kidd followed him without a word.  
  
"What's wrong with all these couples or wannabe couples?" Sanji bursted all of a sudden, making a disgusted noise "Jesus Christ."  
  
Zoro threw his head back and let his eyelids drop shut. He was starting to be way too tired to argue with Sanji, so he didn't comment on his words, but he did feel Bartolomeo shuffling closer to him to whisper almost in his ear.  
  
"He must be fun at parties."  
  
Zoro literally had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep from bursting into laughter, but even if he tried to be as quiet as possible Sanji still turned around.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"N-no–" Zoro cleared his throat "Nothing." he shook his head.  
  
Sanji didn't exactly look like he'd bought it, but he too took off in the direction of the changing room.  
  
Zoro turned to look at Bartolomeo "Don't ever do that again while he's here, please."  
  
Bartolomeo's jaw dropped and he gripped at the sleeves of Zoro's hoodie "I-I'm terribly sorry! I'm a rude idiot, oh God!"  
  
Zoro shook his head "No, it's not for that! I just don't want him to hear and probably well..." he shrugged a shoulder "Kill you."  
  
Bartolomeo suddenly let go of Zoro's sleeves and blushed "R-right!" he looked down "Well... That was rude, still."  
  
Zoro frowned "A bit. But funny, nonetheless."  
  
Bartolomeo beamed up at Zoro, and Zoro smirked at him.  
  
Why couldn't Zoro have that kind of relaxed conversation with Sanji as well? It wasn't exactly like he and Sanji never spoke lightly or about more important matters, but after a few minutes of conversation they mostly and inevitably ended up fighting. Being able to hold a civilized conversation with someone who wasn't one of his brothers was actually refreshing.  
  
"I should probably get changed too." Zoro announced as he shoved both hands into the pockets of his hoodie, but as Bartolomeo was about to say something to him he saw Franky, Luffy, Usopp and Ace walking up to him, so his attention was completely caught by them.  
  
"Franky has a date, apparently!" Usopp teased with a snigger.  
  
"No shit." Zoro grinned proudly.  
  
"Not really, Vivi and Nami had already invited the rest of _Freakshow_ to the party, so they told Robin to tag along." Ace snorted, and earned himself a punch in the shoulder.  
  
"Fuck you, Ace!" Franky groaned "What's not to like about me?"  
  
"I'm sure she's going to love you!" Luffy assured Franky with a pat on his arm.  
  
"Don't get his hopes too high, Luffy," Usopp started with a sigh "she's a real lady, Franky is a klutz."  
  
"Have you got a death wish?" Franky barked, making everyone else laugh.  
  
"Oh c'mon, you just met her," Zoro shrugged "give it time, get to know each other."  
  
"That didn't really work out well for you, huh?" Franky smirked, but as soon as he saw the smile dropping from Zoro's face he covered his mouth with a hand "Shit Zoro, I'm sorry."  
  
Zoro rolled his tongue between his lips and shook his head "It's okay." it wasn't exactly the first time that someone had made fun of him for being in love with Sanji for so long, and most of the times he'd just shrug it off, but other times it stung, even if just slightly. Zoro could feel Bartolomeo's eyes on him, and he also saw him shift uncomfortably beside him out the corner of his eye, but Zoro didn't intend to do anything about it.  
  
"Why don't we go get changed?" Ace clapped a hand on Zoro's shoulder.  
  
"I'm not five, Ace!" Zoro snapped suddenly, making his brother flinch "Stop treating me as if I'm made of crystal." and with these last words he stormed off into the direction of the changing room.

"What a bunch of losers, you just don't know when to shut up, huh?" Zoro heard Luffy's words as he reached the changing room. As usual, his younger brother seemed to be the only one who could really get him.  
  
In the heat of the moment he didn't even recall that Sanji had got inside the changing room before him, but when Zoro opened the door and saw Sanji taking off his make up, wearing tight black jeans and a baggy black and white striped sweater he froze.  
  
Sanji jumped slightly, startled by the door opening so suddenly, and turned to look at Zoro. "Ah... It's you." he mumbled as he resumed removing the rest of his eyeshadow.  
  
Zoro shut the door behind his back a little harder then necessary "You'd have wanted it to be someone else?"  
  
Sanji shrugged, still looking at himself in the mirror as he rubbed black off his eyelid "I'm sure you'd wished the same," he paused as he started the other eyelid "Bartolomeo, perhaps?"  
  
Zoro felt the urge to smash his head into the nearest wall but restrained from doing so. "If you keep talking about him people will start thinking that you're in love with him." Ah yes, Zoro, what a smart comeback. He grimaced slightly at his own words and started in the direction of his locker.  
  
Sanji snorted "No, thanks. I'll leave his ugly face to you. His beloved, moss-brained asshole."  
  
Zoro didn't even reply to that and just took his bag out of the locker to change into a more comfortable pair of jeans. His energy was almost completely drained and he didn't want to waste its remains on fighting Sanji.  
  
"It hurt, you know?" Sanji said in a different tone from earlier.  
  
Zoro froze and glanced over at him, at the way he dropped his arms along his sides and kept staring ahead at his reflection in the mirror. "What?" he finally asked, feeling an uncomfortable sensation settling into the pit of his stomach.  
  
"I heard him make fun of me," Sanji finally said as he clenched his fists, then looked over at Zoro "and you laughed, of course. You _bastard_." Sanji's voice was trembling ever so softly, and Zoro couldn't quite tell if it was rage or sadness, or maybe a mixture of the two.  
  
"Sanji, I..." Zoro was at a loss of words, but speaking Sanji's name in that moment felt like the right thing to do. He saw Sanji stiffen in his place, it was so weird to see him react like that over a stupid joke. "It was just a lame joke, and the timing made me laugh more than anything else." he furrowed his eyebrows, not even knowing how to properly apologize or excuse himself for the matter. "We tease each other all the time!"  
  
Sanji's head snapped in Zoro's direction as fast as lighting, as soon as the last sentence was uttered "That's the fucking point!" Sanji snarled "The _whole_ fucking point!" he repeated, and the raw anger was bleeding from his hoarse words "You can do it, our friends can do it, but that shitty jerk? He's _nothing_ to me! He has no business making fun of me, and you–" he jabbed a finger towards Zoro "you're a fucking asshole for having encouraged him!"  
  
By the time that Sanji's outburst was over he was panting and shaking while Zoro was gawking at him, unable to speak or move. Zoro knew how incredibly strong was Sanji, but what he sometimes failed to remember was how quickly Sanji's strength could crumble if something triggered his memories from being bullied as a kid, and in that moment Zoro would have given his left eye for the floor to split and swallow him alive.  
  
"I'm an asshole," Zoro started off, shaking his head.  
  
"No, don't you dare playing the victim, I'll kick your teeth in!" Sanji growled, raising a hand.  
  
Zoro shook his head again "No! I don't intend to!" he spread his arms "I am genuinely sorry for making you feel like shit, you gotta believe me!"  
  
Sanji looked away from him and lit up a cigarette before slipping on his creepers.  
  
Zoro sighed and hung his head for a moment, then walked up to Sanji, he didn't dare touch him or even lifting a hand near him, because chances were that Sanji would have broken one or several of his bones. "Cook, I'm fucking sorry," he licked his chapped up lips "I truly am."  
  
Sanji straightened back up, blew some smoke through his lips, then grabbed a packet of towelettes and threw it at Zoro, who promptly caught it in one hand "You got black smudges all over your cheeks," he commented in a more relaxed but weak tone "when will you fucking learn to do your shitty make up?"  
  
A knot formed in Zoro's throat, and he squeezed the packet in his fist "Maybe I never will." he said in a hoarse voice. That was Sanji's way to let him know that he had accepted his apology, and it felt like a nasty grip had released his heart, along with a rock that had been lifted from his stomach.  
  
"Figures." Sanji muttered as he walked past Zoro to finish putting his clothes back into his bag.  
  
"Still spending the night at mine?" Zoro dared asking as he pulled a wipe out of the packet.  
  
"The least you can do to earn my forgiveness is letting me sleep in your bed and accidentally get your balls kneed in the process." Sanji said simply, and Zoro couldn't bite back his grin.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! Thank you for bearing with me and my late updates! First of all, I've been busy for an entire week between work and preparing my cosplay for Romics con, and that took an whole week of work away from writing, but apparently it was much needed since I managed to write A LOT in the following week and a half. So here it is, finally, this damn chapter 11! Since this is going to be partly from Sanji's POV it was tricky for me to write and get into his mindset, but in the end I managed to tell the story from his perspective.
> 
> As I had previously warned everyone, I've changed the title from Lilium to Spit It Out. Why, you ask? The simple answer could be because writers can be changeable, and I for one I am very mutable – but not unreliable, that's different. Every time I plan something that I'm going to write, along the road I always find things that can better the story or change it completely (always sticking to the main plot and everything, of course), as for this story, originally some very different events were going to change Sanji's and Zoro's lives, but as I typed up the first chapters I thought about changing certain things and completely erasing others. The more complex explanation is that Spit It Out can be read in two different ways, one being the proper act to confess something that you've been bottling up inside for a long time, and the other is the song by IAMX that Sanji refused to sing because it was too sentimental, for his taste. So yeah, that's why the title's been changed.
> 
> I'VE SPOKEN TOO MUCH, SO A QUICK THANK YOU TO YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE READING AND COMMENTING THIS STORY, AND A BIG KISS FROM ME! ENJOY!

Sanji couldn't tell what was the time when everyone said goodbye to each other in front of Franky's house, especially since he had cozily dozed off inside the van while lying his head on Zoro's shoulder. They had bickered about Sanji drooling on Zoro's coat, but only for a few seconds, and only jokingly.  
  
After the fight over Bartolomeo's indelicacy Sanji had come down from the hype of the show, even if he had forgiven Zoro he felt a little numb, probably because he was so exhausted.   
  
Once they had hopped off the van and Sanji had followed Luffy and Ace towards the car, Zoro had lagged behind with Franky who looked like he was keeping his tail between his legs.   
  
"Tired?" Luffy asked as he slowly walked beside Sanji.  
  
"Yeah, but the nap did me some good." Sanji replied with a soft smile.  
  
"You've been amazing, tonight, you know?" Luffy went on, and Sanji couldn't help but knit his eyebrows together.  
  
"Thank you!" Sanji blinked, taken aback. Luffy didn't usually compliment him like that, surely he always told everyone as a group that they had done a splendid job, but to go and tell Sanji something like that was unusual, though much appreciated. Sanji smiled again and raised his eyebrows "You've been awesome yourself!"  
  
Luffy grinned "Of course! That's because I'm gonna be the best bassist in the whole world!"  
  
Sanji couldn't help but chuckle at that, but he knew that Luffy believed in himself and his capacities, and could definitely fulfill his dream. "Yes, you will." Sanji wrapped an arm around Luffy's neck and pressed a kiss to his temple. He adored that kid so much.  
  
"Oi lovebirds," Zoro's voice made Sanji flinch just slightly "done flirting?"  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow and looked back at Zoro "Says the muscle head who's been making out with our roadie 'til now."  
  
Luffy snorted at those words, while Zoro rolled his eyes.  
  
"Guys." Ace called out for them, and everyone stopped in their tracks to look at him, who was suddenly behind them "you're aiming for the wrong car." he said as he pointed at his vehicle.  
  
There was a choir of _Oh's_ and everyone walked back to Ace's car in mild embarrassment.  
  
"That's all your fault, Marimo," Sanji muttered before getting into the car "you infected us with your orientation impairment."  
  
"Fuck off!" Zoro growled as Sanji sniggered under his breath.  
  
There was something extremely relaxing in getting into the backseat of Ace's car and leaning against the Marimo, he could have fallen back asleep if no one was going to speak to him.  
  
"Don't you dare drool on me again." Zoro threatened right away.  
  
Sanji cocked an eyebrow as he looked at Zoro with a judging expression "That's part of your punishment, suck it up."  
  
Zoro pressed his lips together and then let out a sigh before resting back against the carseat. A shit eating grin spread on Sanji's lips as he threw both legs over Zoro's lap and got as comfortable as he could.  
  
The Bartolomeo incident had shaken Sanji from the inside, so much that he had thrown up from nervousness while he was still alone in the bathroom. It wasn't just remembering all the jeering faces from his past that had ruined those that were supposed to be his merrier years, it was seeing and hearing Zoro laugh at him, just like everyone else had always done – that broke his heart.  
  
Zoro had always been the only person not to laugh at the teasing, the endless jokes and verbal abuse, he had knocked someone's teeth off once for making Sanji silently cry between classes. In that moment in which Bartolomeo had made fun of him and Zoro had laughed at his joke, he suddenly became one of the bullies, he had become like everyone else and that hurt more than a hundred stabs to the chest.

Sanji had nearly started dozing off, bad, hurtful thoughts completely drained out of his mind and leaving a comfortable emptiness that was slowly pushing him into a slumber, when he felt a squeeze to his calf and immediately perked up.  
  
"Oi..." Zoro was looking at him with his usual frown, he didn't look more concerned than normal.  
  
"Hm?" Sanji hummed as he readjusted himself on the carseat, in his sleepy state he had started to slouch and his back had ended up being in an awkward position.  
  
"How come you still ended up coming to my place?" a sharp eyebrow rose as Zoro spoke "I thought you were gonna celebrate our success in your favorite way and... Make a fan happy or something?"  
  
Sanji's eyes widened. Why did Zoro have to be so blunt? Couldn't he just shut up and enjoy Sanji's precious presence? What a dumb bastard. There was just no way he was going to admit that for some still unknown reason, as of lately, he didn't have much desire to spend time in a stranger's bed, especially not after such an important night. Also the fact that Sanji's cheeks had turned a bright shade of pink was definitely just because Ace's car was ridiculously hot.  
  
"I'm tired as fuck, Marimo." Sanji stated, dry "And someone pissed me off, so I gotta pay them back." he added with a cocked eyebrow.  
  
Zoro stiffened slightly, pursing his lips as he glanced down at Sanji's legs in his lap. He looked guilty and Sanji somewhat appreciated the fact that he hadn't forgotten too quickly.  
  
"And tomorrow I have to go to the Baratie, then there's the party," Sanji went on with a shrug "I need to save some energy."  
  
Zoro looked back up at Sanji "Good thing you're not sleeping in Luffy's bed, then."  
  
Sanji snorted, and just when he was about to open his mouth to reply, Luffy turned around to yell.  
  
"Again with this story! I only kicked in my sleep when I was a kid!"   
  
At the same time Luffy's shout had startled Ace so bad that he nearly drove up the sidewalk, making Sanji almost jump on Zoro's lap from fear.  
  
"Fuck! Luffy! Don't yell like that so suddenly!" Ace scolded his brother and slammed his fist down into Luffy's thigh.  
  
"Ow, Ace! Stop it!" Luffy knew better than to hit his older brother while driving, but Sanji could clearly read murder in his eyes.  
  
"Are you alright?" Zoro asked as he looked at Sanji.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Sanji heaved out a sigh.  
  
"I told you not to eavesdrop while people speak!" Zoro growled as he smacked Luffy behind the head.  
  
"Stop hitting me! Fuck!" Luffy cried out as he held his head in his hands.  
  
Sanji couldn't really bite back a small smirk, he couldn't deny how much he loved that bunch of idiots, even when they beat each other up, being with them was homey and it made him feel good.

"Could you please not crash us into a pole or something?" Zoro asked in a monotone as he watched his brothers beating each other while one of Ace's hands was still on the steering wheel.  
  
"I'll stop when he'll stop!" Luffy growled before turning to look at Zoro "There's something for you, too!" Luffy announced as be lounged towards Zoro and punched him in the chest.  
  
"You little shit!" Zoro groaned and grabbed Luffy's arm, twisting it until he was crying out in pain.  
  
"Jesus fucking Christ, guys!" Sanji snarled as he separated Zoro and Luffy, then placed his hands on each of their faces and kept them apart "We're in a car, stop it!"  
  
Ace snorted and glanced back at Sanji with a smirk.  
  
"What?" Sanji barked.  
  
"It's funny how the tables turn," Ace commented with a shrug, eyes glued on the street as he drove around the corner "usually Luffy and I are the ones to break you and Zoro apart."  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow, skeptical "Your point being?"  
  
Ace shrugged a shoulder "Maybe you're starting to be more civilized with each other."  
  
"Don't count on it," Zoro started and Sanji's head whipped in his direction "he already said that he's gonna knee me in the balls later. He's an animal."  
  
"You jerk!" Sanji growled, and as he let go of Luffy's face he nearly straddled Zoro to try and strangle him.  
  
"Yep," Ace sighed "nevermind."   
  


 

 

 

 

* * *

   
  


 

 

  
The fight simmered down to a tickling battle that Zoro won way too easily, since Sanji was cursed with the most ticklish body ever, and when Ace stopped the car Sanji was completely flustered and out of breath.  
  
"Dude," Ace started as he looked back at Zoro and Sanji "if I didn't know better I'd say that you've definitely used my backseat the right way." he grinned smugly and Sanji whacked him over the head.  
  
"Shut up, you idiot!" Sanji barked as he failed to open the car door on the first try.  
  
"Wait," Zoro said softly as he reached across Sanji's lap to open the door himself "it's being a little faulty lately. We should oil it up or something." he explained as he forced the handle, his voice hoarse with effort and the prolonged laughter.  
  
For some reason Sanji's heart had skipped a beat once Zoro had practically lied in his lap. The amount of heat radiating from Zoro's body was absolutely absurd, and just feeling the cold air from the outside Sanji would have forced Zoro to just stay where he was and curl up with him.  
  
Finally, after a few yanks, the handle gave in to Zoro and the door opened "There. This thing is a real bitch." Zoro mumbled as he hovered Sanji's lap for a few extra seconds, still glaring at the car door.  
  
Sanji couldn't help the small smile that curled his lips "Are you comfortable down there?"  
  
Immediately, Zoro looked up at Sanji with a terrified expression "What the fuck?" he sputtered out as he braced himself on his hands "I was just–"  
  
Sanji's smile developed into a shit-eating grin as he playfully scratched behind Zoro's ear "Who's a good boy? Huh?" he cooed, fingers running over the shell of Zoro's ear until they grazed his three earrings, making them click together.  
  
Zoro's face warped in an indescribable expression, a dark blush tinted his ears and cheekbones before he could violently rear back and end up falling into the space between the seats. "Kn-knock it off, bastard! I'm not a dog!"  
  
Sanji threw back his head as he barked out a laugh at the Marimo's reaction. God it always took so little to embarrass his stupid head. "I'll give you a belly scratch, later." Sanji teased again as he reached out to softly tug on one of Zoro's earrings.  
  
Zoro flared his nostrils, clearly hesitating before slapping Sanji's hand away "Stop!"  
  
"Are you ever gonna come out of my fucking car?" Ace asked as his face suddenly appeared in one of the car doors "I'll leave you to sleep here."  
  
"Man, you guys are no fun at all." Sanji rolled his eyes and watched as Zoro awkwardly tried to get out of the car from his position and miserably falling on the concrete ass first, causing everyone to laugh hysterically. "Okay, okay!" Sanji wiped off a tear from his eye "I take it back!"  
  


 

 

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Once the boys poured inside the house, making sure that Mihawk and Shanks weren't around, they decided whether they should have just gone to sleep or have a snack or a cup of coffee together to discuss the night. Useless to say that between Ace being extremely restless and Luffy's stomach roaring like an enraged lion, Zoro and Sanji agreed to have a night snack and a chat before bed.  
  
They all gathered inside the kitchen, Zoro and Luffy sat down at the table first, while Sanji went to make them a couple sandwiches, and since Ace kept walking aimlessly around the room, Sanji yelled at him to at least make himself useful and brew some coffee.  
  
"The fuck is wrong with you? Did something bite you?" Sanji sneered, cigarette quivering between his lips and eyes focused on removing the crust from the slices of bread.  
  
Ace shot him a side glare, then went back to set the mocha on the stove.  
  
"We all know what's wrong," Zoro started in a knowing tone that made Sanji turn to look at him, he was wearing a smug smirk "it's the aftermath of seeing your lover boy."  
  
Sanji snorted dry, then went back to the sandwiches, tossing glances here and there to the boys as they spoke.  
  
"He _isn't_ my lover boy!" Ace protested as he idly tried to keep his voice down.

Beside a sniggering Zoro was Luffy, with his forefinger pressed gently right underneath his nose as he chuckled as quietly as possible.  
  
"See? It's not very funny when people do that." Zoro said in a tone way more serious than before, and Sanji raised his gaze on him while cocking a quizzical eyebrow.  
  
Ace didn't seem to respond, he just mumbled something unintelligible as he busied himself with searching the cabinets. Zoro, on his part, was still wearing a soft smile, even though his eyes were now focused on the clean, dark surface of the kitchen table. Sanji furrowed his eyebrows just slightly as he laid several thin tomato slices on each sandwich.  
  
"I hope he's gonna come tomorrow, though." Luffy finally broke the silence, and suddenly all eyes flew to him "He seems like a pretty cool guy." he nodded, and this time his tone was far from derisive.  
  
A faint blush tinted Ace's cheekbones as he shrugged a shoulder "Don't get your hopes up, he's got work tomorrow night."   
  
"I can't believe you didn't introduce him to me," Zoro shook his head in utter disapproval "Franky and Usopp met him, and I haven't!"  
  
Ace groaned as he turned off the stove "I told you, they–"  
  
"Well, you didn't even fucking tell me, so..." Sanji suddenly cut in, shutting everyone up. He knew that he wasn't the biggest fan of lovey dovey couples, but Sanji had grown up with those three, they never kept secrets from each other and being left out was downright rude and hurtful.  
  
Zoro bit his lower lip and threw his older brother a glance, and Ace shifted his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably.  
  
"I'm sorry Sanji, I just..." Ace couldn't bring himself to look Sanji in the eye and it was plain irritating. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, keeping quiet for a few moments until he probably mustered enough courage to hold Sanji's gaze "I've kept this thing to myself for as long as I could, because I thought that it wasn't that important, that it was just a crush." he explained with a shrug of his shoulder, pausing just enough to moisten his dry lips with his tongue "But then it turned out that it was something... More. And maybe, if I'm lucky enough, it's not exactly one-sided, so the first person I vented to was Zoro."  
  
Luffy suddenly raised a hand "I can confirm, I didn't know jack either. He told me after he confessed it to Zoro."   
  
"Yes, thank you Luffy." Ace nodded at his little brother, then went back to look at Sanji "So... The next person I was gonna tell was definitely you, but you and Zoro were having some kind of–" he stopped, biting his tongue and widening his eyes as if he was stumbling on thoughts and words.  
  
Sanji's eyes widened under knitted eyebrows, and his eyes wandered from a fairly disconcerted Zoro to Ace "W-what? We were having what?"  
  
Ace's eyebrows rose and his cheeks inflated as he shrugged and shook his head "I-I was gonna say a moment? I-I mean... You were watching _Freakshow_ together so I went to look for Smoker..." he shrugged again, as if it was the only possibly movement he could do.  
  
Sanji blinked a few times, as an uncomfortable feeling settled on the pit of his stomach and the speed of his heartbeat increased. "The fuck are you talking about?!" Sanji spat out in a semitone higher than normal.  
  
"Well, it's true, nobody wanted to disturb you, so..." Ace tried to explain, waving both his hands incoherently.  
  
From the way in which Ace was describing it it sounded like everyone had left Sanji and Zoro alone on purpose, because they looked... Romantic, or something? What the hell?   
  
Sanji looked at Zoro who was covering his eyes with a hand, still Sanji could see his reddened ears, and for some reason, instead of replying with a witty comeback, Sanji's tongue seemed to knot in his mouth and his cheeks began to feel like they had just caught on fire.  
  
"Sanji..." Luffy softly called out for him, making him partially snap out of it as he slowly turned his head towards him "Your cigarette..."  
  
Instead of pulling it out of his lips, Sanji crossed his eyes to look down at the stick of ashes that was precariously balanced on the now completely burnt out filter of Sanji's cigarette. Immediately the blond let go of the ingredients he was handling, and disposed of the remainders of his nicotine fix.  
  
"I'm hungry, Sanji..." Luffy whined.  
  
"Don't be a pain! Just wait!" Sanji yelled out of instinct, even though he was perfectly aware of the fact that Luffy was just trying to change topic to ease off everyone's embarrassment.  
  
"Coffee is ready!" Ace jumped in as he placed three steaming cups on the table and sat across from his brothers.  
  
Sanji went back to work on the sandwiches as quickly as he could, glancing at Zoro every now and then just to check on his expressions and behavior. Sanji didn't even know what this sudden concern over Zoro was all about, he wanted to smack himself across the face.

Once the sandwiches were ready, Sanji took the empty seat next to Ace and across from Luffy, then stared down intently at the cup of black coffee sitting in front of him – with all the sudden nervousness that had taken over his body the last thing he needed was caffeine pumping through his system and making everything worse.   
  
He knew Zoro and Ace could sleep everywhere and at any given time, having consumed coffee or not, so he knew that they wouldn't have had any problems that night, but for Sanji it would have been hell, so he limited himself to just watch the others stuffing their stomachs full and glaring down at the strong scent emanated from the cup.  
  
"Hey, I made that with love." Ace commented with a frown as he jerked his chin towards Sanji's untouched coffee.  
  
Sanji cocked an eyebrow "No, you made it with anxiety and regret. It would poison me."  
  
Zoro and Luffy snorted so hard that Luffy accidentally inhaled a few bread crumbs and began to cough furiously.  
  
"Th-that's not true!" Ace retorted with a ridiculous pout that made Zoro laugh even harder as he patted Luffy on the back in order to make him stop suffocating.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "It's a fact. And I don't think I should drink coffee before bed."  
  
"Weak." Zoro commented as he took a huge bite of sandwich.  
  
Sanji glowered at him "I don't happen to be a monster like the three of you, caffeine can keep me up all night."  
  
"Well at least something will keep you up all night in Zoro's bed." Ace said with a smirk, before a loud thump echoed through the kitchen along with Ace's groan of pain.  
  
"Next time I'll make sure to break the bone." Zoro deadpanned as he calmly kept eating.  
  
Sanji shook his head, but he couldn't help the small snicker that escaped his lips. Ace was quite right, even though Sanji didn't care about Zoro not keeping him up all night, still he glanced at the brooding drummer and felt a small tug to the stomach. Maybe he should have eaten something as well, after all, no matter how adamant he was about not going to bed right after consuming a meal.  
  
When everyone had finally finished eating, and Sanji had decided to at least munch on some fruit, the boys headed upstairs, bid each other goodnight and then disappeared into their rooms.   
  
Inside Zoro's room both men were oddly quiet but Sanji blamed it on their exhaustion, they had played a gig after all, and every bit of enthusiasm had seeped out, leaving only room to weariness.   
  
Sanji stripped to his briefs and pulled on a plain black t-shirt as he casually looked at Zoro taking off his clothes and getting into bed with only his boxers on.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked as he crossed his arms behind his head.  
  
Sanji perked up and raised his eyebrows, his heartbeat increasing just slightly "Huh?!"  
  
Zoro's eyebrows knitted together "Why are you staring at me?"  
  
Sanji snorted, despite the low heat he had began to feel on his face "I'm not? Why would I stare at your ugly mug?" he muttered as he kept still by the bed, fists clenching without even realizing it.  
  
Zoro shrugged slightly "I don't know." then he raised an eyebrow "Are you gonna get into bed or...?"  
  
Sanji was suddenly aware of the stiffness in his muscles so he relaxed and huffed, yanking the covers down on his side of the bed "You really can't wait to get me in to bed, huh?"  
  
"Of course. I intend to finish what I started earlier."   
  
Sanji's eyes went wide and his jaw hung slightly open as he stared at Zoro, unable to speak or actually understand the meaning of that sentence and the confidence in Zoro's tone – what was the Marimo getting at, exactly? Though that shocked state lasted only until Zoro reached over to Sanji and started tickling him.  
  
"You fuckin–!" Sanji growled before an hysterical laugh stopped his words from coming out and he tried to return Zoro the favor.

Instead of trying to escape or pry off Zoro's fingers, Sanji hopped on the bed on his knees as he tickled Zoro back, he nearly fell off the bed twice, but Zoro always managed to tug him back and prevent him from tumbling down to the floor. They were both laughing and screeching (well, Sanji was screeching) so hard that Sanji was actually surprised the entire household hadn't bursted into the room to kill them.  
  
"S-stop! I'll knee you in the nuts!" Sanji threatened as he laughed nearly out of breath.  
  
"No way!" Zoro grinned as he kept working his fingertips and nails on Sanji's ribs as fast as he could, trying to dodge and block every attempt that Sanji made at tickling him back.  
  
"I'll piss on your bed!" Sanji nearly shrieked "I'm gonna do it!" he kept threatening until he lost his balance and once again he risked toppling off the bed once again "Fuck!"  
  
Zoro grabbed Sanji by the front of his shirt and with a powerful yank he saved Sanji and accidentally made him land on top of him.  
  
"Ow!" Sanji huffed as he found himself half-sprawled atop the other man "It'd probably hurt less if I landed on the floor," he muttered "you're as hard as a brick wall!"  
  
A shit-eating grin spread on Zoro's lips "That's because I actually exercise every day and keep myself in shape."  
  
Sanji flared his nostrils and propped himself up on Zoro's chest "Are you implying that I am out of shape?"  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder, not even remotely seeming to mind having Sanji's elbows and arms pressed into his upper half "I'm just saying that you're weaker than I am."  
  
One of Sanji's eyebrows twitched with annoyance "Do you want a pair of elbows jabbed deep into your guts, Marimo?"  
  
Zoro snorted "You couldn't even move in time to do tha–"   
  
Zoro's words were cut short by Sanji's elbow being simultaneously shoved into his stomach, but Zoro was also quick enough to flip them over and pin Sanji's arms above his head.  
  
"Fucker." Zoro growled lowly with his eyebrows drawn together, Sanji knew he had hurt him and couldn't stop smirking about it.  
  
"What are you gonna do now, moss-brain?" Sanji teased "You know I could knee you pretty fucking hard from this position?"  
  
In response, Zoro placed his own knees over Sanji's "Are you gonna headbutt me, now?"  
  
Sanji raised an eyebrow, it wasn't like he wasn't strong enough to push Zoro off of him, but he was enjoying that little game "I could, but then no one would come see us live if your face was messed up."  
  
Zoro grimaced "Shut the fuck up, you idiot."  
  
Sanji laughed softly, closing his eyes in the process, and when he opened them again he saw a weird light flickering into Zoro's way too serious gaze, it was sharp enough to pierce through Sanji's soul and made his stomach churn and his breath die in his throat. It wasn't hunger, Sanji knew that look all too well, he had seen it in way too many men's eyes, no it was something different, something that shook Sanji's very core and made his heart beat ridiculously fast.  
  
"Y-you gonna get off me?" Sanji asked, clearing his throat right after his voice had broken slightly, trying to poorly muffle his embarrassment "I'm not a mattress."  
  
Zoro snorted, and that strange glint seemed to disappear from his eyes "You're not even half as comfortable as this mattress, and this mattress if the fucking worst."  
  
Sanji scowled and kicked Zoro's leg as he finally rolled off of him "You rude bastard!"  
  
Zoro pushed Sanji a bit to the side "You took up the whole bed."  
  
"Whose fault is it?" Sanji retorted with a huff.  
  
"Shut up." Zoro grumbled as he pushed his hand under Sanji's head to make room for his own arm, then looped it around Sanji's shoulder.  
  
"What are you doing?" Sanji protested with a frown.  
  
"Shut up." Zoro repeated as he pulled Sanji closer to him.  
  
Sanji growled, but didn't even attempt to flee Zoro's grip, he actually got comfortable with his head on Zoro's shoulder and an arm placed across Zoro's chest. "You're a big baby."  
  
"Whatever." Zoro replied as he let his eyelids drop shut.  
  
Sanji let out a loud, dramatic sigh "How do you even survive when I am not around?"  
  
Zoro shrugged "I can cope. I'm less stressed."  
  
Sanji moved one of his knees to Zoro's crotch and made sure to make it hurt.  
  
"Fu–!" Zoro cried out as the wind got knocked out of him.  
  
Sanji smirked "I keep my promises." he knew that Zoro couldn't put up a real argument after his words, and that made him smirk even more.  
  
After several other hums and mumbles, Zoro went finally still and quiet, his breath evening out and his limbs heavy and relaxed, Sanji didn't even need to pull the comforter up because Zoro's natural warmth already made up for the cold in the room.  
  
Sanji couldn't tell if Zoro was sleeping or not, even if he peeked at his face and saw his eyes shut, though he knew that that bastard could fall asleep like a log in the blink of an eye. Sanji, on the other hand, knew he couldn't fall asleep but couldn't exactly tell why, and even if he tried to squeeze his eyelids shut his brain wouldn't give him a break.  
  
That night had been one hell of a ride, a roller coaster to be more specific, and that was probably the main reason why Sanji now was more awake then ever, now that the lights were off and the only sound that could be heard was that of his and Zoro's breathing. Too many thoughts pooled in the front of his mind, thoughts about the show and how marvelous it had been, about meeting new fans and greeting the die hard ones, about how bigger and greater the rest of the tour was going to be and last, but definitely not least, about how his reactions while being around or alone with Zoro had got.  
  
He didn't want to think about that though, he felt like something had probably been switched on within him and he didn't like it, not one bit. It was something dangerous, something that could ruin things to the point of non return and Sanji didn't want that, just the mere thought of it made him feel sick to the stomach.   
  
Even in that moment he could feel an odd fluttering into his chest, just by being half wrapped around Zoro, and that was all kinds of bad. For a second he thought about tearing himself away from Zoro and run all the way to the living room to spend the rest of the night curled up on the couch, but then he told himself that it would have been stupid and useless, and that he should just chill the fuck out.

It wasn't the first time he and Zoro shared a bed, and it wasn't the first time they snuggled together before going to sleep, why would it be different from all the other times?   
  
But most importantly, why had Sanji's mind gone completely blank when he had jumped on Zoro after the show and Zoro's lips had looked like the best thing ever created by mother nature?   
  
Sanji instinctively pressed a hand against his eyes, as if it would have blocked mental images from flowing into his vision, if he could have he would have probably punched himself in the face to try and stop his train of absurd thoughts.  
  
That couldn't been happening, he had remained safe from developing that kind of emotions for anyone in years, and he couldn't really understand why of all times it had to be _then_ and why of all people it had to be _Zoro_.  
  
"Cook..." Zoro croaked out all of a sudden, making Sanji hiss in surprise.  
  
"Hm?" Sanji hummed, trying to sound like he had been half asleep or something.  
  
"You've been good tonight." Zoro nearly breathed out.  
  
 _Fuck.  
  
Shit.  
  
Fuck, shit, fuck._  
  
"Shut up, I'm always good." Sanji replied, ignoring the hammering in his chest and the way in which his stomach seemed to have taken up artistic gymnastics.  
  
Zoro snorted "Yeah, whatever." he stretched out lightly and yawned "Tonight was special."  
  
No really, Zoro needed to shut up and go back to sleep before Sanji's internal organs would burst out.  
  
"I know." Sanji cleared his throat "You've been good, too."   
  
_There. Now go to sleep, Marimo, pretty please._  
  
Zoro huffed with laughter "I know that, too." he turned his head and placed a light kiss to Sanji's forehead before seemingly giving in to Morpheus' embrace.  
  
Sanji didn't know which part of his body burned the most, if it were his cheeks, his forehead, his chest or his stomach, but he was pretty sure that now he wasn't going to get any sleep, not after the few questions he had posed to himself had blatantly been replied by the moss-brained klutz that was holding him.

"Jesus, Marimo, why are you being so sappy now?" Sanji half whined as he hit Zoro on the chest, his face still feeling on fire.  
  
Zoro groaned "I'm not sappy, I'm just..." he paused for such a long moment that Sanji thought he had finally fallen asleep, but then he spoke again "I'm tired and... And sincere."  
  
After all that wouldn't even be the first time that Zoro did that, being so completely honest (and cuddly) at night, actually Sanji himself was like that too, most of the times, still he didn't want to feel so incredibly embarrassed and overwhelmed by an emotion he had never really known – or maybe ha had just been extremely good at repressing it? Well, that wasn't exactly the time to be racking his brain, it was time to sleep.  
  
"You're sappy, still." Sanji reiterated as his fingertips mindlessly scratched softly at Zoro's chest "It's pretty lame."  
  
Zoro's only reply was a snort, then he went completely silent with the exception of his quiet, drowsy breathing.  
  
Sanji lay there, listening to Zoro's soft snoring and caressing the warm skin underneath his fingertips, confused, maybe even scared and bewildered by the fact that the only thing that went through his brain were the lyrics to Depeche Mode's _Here Is The House_. It wasn't even one of his favorite Depeche Mode songs, especially because he wasn't the romantic song type, yet again he couldn't deny that Zoro's house was indeed _'the house where it all happens'_. Sanji shook his head slightly, feeling like a huge idiot only for thinking about such things, then curled even more around Zoro and let his eyelids drop shut, unsure as to whether he'd actually be able to fall asleep.   
  
  


 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
  
Sanji didn't have to even set an alarm to wake up at the right time to go to work, and maybe he was going to run a little late – not that he really cared about it.  
  
When he opened his eyes there was no light seeping through the curtains, and the warmth he was enveloped into made it seem like a horrible crime to leave the bed, but he had to.   
  
He turned to look at Zoro's sleeping face and all of a sudden he was hit by those feelings from the night before, and he nearly bolted out of the bed as if it burned him. Terror thrummed through his body as he tried to peel Zoro's limbs off of him without waking him up in the process. He needed to leave, and pretty fucking quickly too.  
  
Sanji managed to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed in complete quiet, but as he was about to get up he felt Zoro's arm wrap around his waist.  
  
"Mm... You runnin' away?" Zoro muttered.  
  
Yes. Yes, he was.  
  
A shiver ran down Sanji's spine and his stomach stirred "I gotta go to work, Marimo." he patted on Zoro's hand on his hip "Let go of me."  
  
That only served to make Zoro groan and hold him even tighter as he burrowed his face into Sanji's back.  
  
"F-fuck..." Sanji exclaimed out of breath and instinctively covered his mouth with his hand. Zoro was a fucking neanderthal, why did he find him so painfully adorable now? He wanted to scream.  
  
"Stay a bit longer." Zoro mumbled against Sanji's skin, making him shiver even more and giving him goosebumps.  
  
Sanji bit his lip hard, throwing his head back as he thought up the longest curse he could manage. "I can't, you dickwad." Sanji tried to say in his calmest tone "Zeff will kill me."  
  
"Fuck 'im." Zoro moaned and tugged Sanji to lay back down.  
  
"No!" Sanji exclaimed in a high and way not usual tone "No! No! I gotta go! Cut it out!" Sanji ripped Zoro's arm off of him and stood up.  
  
"I hate you." Zoro grumbled as he pulled the covers nearly over his head.  
  
Sanji sighed and hung his head "Same."  
  
"Stay for breakfast?" Zoro insisted, his face half pressed into the mattress as he didn't even bother lifting up his gaze on Sanji.  
  
Sanji let out a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes "I work in a damn restaurant, moss-head, I think I can just go and eat there."  
  
Zoro finally lifted up his head and readjusted himself on his side of the bed "So much for being hospital." he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles.  
  
"Just go back to sleep," Sanji said in an exasperated tone as he began to collect his clothes from the floor in order to put them on "and I'll see you tonight at Franky's." he really didn't plan on calling or texting Zoro that day, not in the emotional state he had spiraled in.  
  
"Whatever." Zoro barely waved his hand as he fell asleep again.  
  
"About time." Sanji commented as he shuffled on his jeans and roughly pulled on his boots. He needed to get out of that house as soon as possible, without running into anyone, he needed some proper fresh air to clear up his mind and some alone time.  
  
Once he was dressed and he had grabbed his bag, Sanji sneaked out of Zoro's room trying to be as quiet as humanly possible, tiptoeing down the hall and trying not to make too much noise even when he moved downstairs. He only flinched and held his breath when he heard one of the doors from upstairs opening and closing, so he seized that chance to rush to the front door and leave the house.  
  
Before getting out Sanji hadn't even noticed it was raining, it wasn't exactly a downpour, more like a light sprinkle falling on Sanji's flushed face and bringing him a certain relief. The sky was greyish and the wind blew hard enough to ruffle Sanji's hair and stick it to his forehead and cheeks, it wasn't exactly Sanji's favorite weather, but it kind of fit his inner turmoil.  
  
"How fucking poetic." Sanji grunted as he lifted the hood of his jacket, slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and buried his hands deep inside his pockets as he began to walk down the sidewalk.  
  
He didn't know if he wanted to stay alone with his thoughts for a while or if he preferred to block them out and keep himself as busy as possible with work, but probably his subconscious voted for the first option, because despite the rain he wasn't exactly pacing up.  
  
Sanji wasn't an idiot, sometimes maybe he liked to pretend like he was one, but he perfectly knew what was going on inside him and he didn't want that, it was terrible and problematic, and the last thing he needed. His opinion on love and romantic relationship hadn't changed overnight, he repelled them and having those kind of feelings for someone that he considered so important to him was frightening.

Sanji loved Zoro, it was no secret, he was the closest person to his heart and even if it didn't look like it he cherished their friendship like the most important thing in his life. No one had ever stuck with Sanji through thick and thin the way Zoro had, people looked down on Sanji, called him names, jeered at him, insulted him and everything he was, and even at Sanji's lowest Zoro had always been there, even if that moss-head didn't speak much his presence alone worked on Sanji.  
  
Yes, there was the arguing issue, the fact that they didn't seem to be able to have a normal conversation without being at each other's throat, but that didn't mean anything, it didn't change the fact that Zoro was Sanji's best friend and pillar of strength.  
  
It wasn't even like Sanji had never thought about Zoro at least physically, that green haired bastard had a body to die for and was way too attractive to be real, but Zoro wasn't like all the other dudes Sanji had ever slept with, he was something else, he was the one person that Sanji didn't want to stain with his lack of purity, he didn't want to ruin everything by sleeping with Zoro and just throwing him into the way too long list of useless, discarded boy toys.  
  
Zoro mattered, Zoro was someone that Sanji didn't want to lose for whatever reason and love and sex were the complications that could pulverize everything between them.  
  
Growing up with a father who cursed fate everyday for taking away the woman he loved, who drank himself silly while his child stood just outside the door of the kitchen and heard him cuss and wish to never have fallen in love because it hurt like hell, Sanji learned to fear abandonment and being in love. Growing up being made fun of by the lovely girls he had tried to court only made his already distorted perception of feelings worse. Growing up thinking that the only way to feel good about himself was wooing boys to get physical pleasure out of it served to make him gag at the presence of couples and abhor romance and love in every form.   
  
Sanji was damaged goods, and there was no denying it, and he didn't even want to do anything about it. He had shielded himself completely from what could hurt him, and if that shield even just looked like it might have a small crack somewhere it would throw him into panic right away.  
  
More than halfway to his house, Sanji had decided that he was going to do something about those feelings, and the best way he knew was restoring his old habit of drinking and fucking a stranger. Now, he could drink how much he wanted that night at Franky's but the stranger to push into a random, secluded space was going to be a lot harder to find.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
  
When Sanji arrived on his street the Baratie was still closed, thing that made Sanji scowl deeply until he realized that he had left Zoro's house so early that he could just go back to bed for a short while. He wasn't sleepy though, a bit tired maybe, but his stomach felt like it was about to jump upside down, and all he wanted to do was smoke ten cigarettes all at the same time and claw his skin off.  
  
He took a few more steps to the front door of his building and once he was inside he pulled down his hood and stuck a cigarette between his lips. Sanji was actually surprised he had managed to walk all the way home without his first dose of nicotine for the day, and it was only because of the rain and the thoughts that hazed his mind.  
  
Sanji entered his apartment with the same caution he had used to leave Zoro's house, and quietly sneaked towards his own bedroom. Zeff wasn't around, maybe he had took off for the daily food purchases down at the markets, because sure as hell he wasn't the kind of man who would sleep in – one less thing to worry about, one less person to argue with... For the moment.  
  
Sanji dropped his bag between the small TV and the desk, then quickly got out of his damp clothes, being extremely careful not to set anything on fire as he held the cigarette firmly between two fingers.   
  
When he looked over at his small bed it looked cold and lonely, and a horrible weight settled on his chest. Sanji didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to lose everything he had gained in his life, but his mind couldn't help but wander back to how he felt the night before when he was about to kiss Zoro right after the show, to how peaceful and relaxed he felt in Zoro's arms while they were in bed.   
  
He needed to stop lingering on those thoughts and quit screwing his mind up more than it was necessary, he needed to smoke his cigarette and take a nap, probably even take a hot bath afterwards. Sanji slipped under the covers with an ashtray in his hand and calmly finished off his cigarette before allowing himself to sink into the comforter and try to get some more sleep.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The first thing that Zoro did that morning, even before he could open his heavy eyelids was feel and pat the now cold and empty spot on the bed beside him, and as soon as he did so he slapped that same hand over his eyes and let out a soft groan. Feeling like a complete idiot first thing in the morning was definitely something he hadn't signed up for, along with the not so subtle feeling of anxiety lingering into his chest and churning into the pit of his stomach. All these awful sensations piled up inside of him, heavy and nasty, and more than any other day all Zoro wanted to do was lie in bed with the lights off.  
  
He didn't even have to concentrate to remember about the past night, all the memories just dripped in front of his eyes the very moment he realized he was wide awake. Zoro still couldn't decide if they were painful, they were mostly confusing and filled with that vain hope that made Zoro's insides twist in the most unpleasant of ways.  
  
The night before had been a proper roller coaster of events and emotions, Zoro knew it would have been useless to ruminate on every single thing that had happened between he and Sanji, but he couldn't. He felt like he was torn in two halves, the most rational one who told him to not overthink and read too much into Sanji's behavior, then there was the irrational, passionate part of him who kept remembering and analyzing glances and gestures, and who dreaded the fact that Sanji had run away and Zoro was sure he did remember everything that had happened.  
  
The first thing that came to Zoro's mind was checking his phone for any text from Sanji, but the screen was only filled with Facebook and Instagram notifications, probably from fans and friends. Zoro carelessly dropped his phone on the mattress and pressed both hands against his eyes in a desperate attempt to block everything out, he took a deep breath and tried to let everything seep out of his mind. Meditation was the only weapon he could use to fight off all the anxiety, and even if he had just woken up it didn't hurt him to give it a try, so he kicked off the covers and sat up in a lotus position with his eyes shut.  
  
Assuming that position instantly reminded him of Mihawk being awkwardly sympathetic towards him because of Sanji, so his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. Shit, he couldn't fuck meditation up, he was good at it and it helped him a great deal, it couldn't fail in a moment of need like that.  
  
Zoro shook his head and heaved a deep, long sigh, allowing his whole body and mind to relax, he tried to focus on his breathing to empty his head from any thoughts and chase away the tension in his chest and stomach. He had trained himself to meditate for such a long time that in a matter of minutes, slowly but surely, brick by brick, his protective wall of relaxation and calm was being rebuilt all over again. Maybe it wasn't going to hold up for that long, especially since the party at Franky's was that night, but it was definitely going to help him getting through the day.  
  
Zoro was completely immersed in his own world, every background noise couldn't reach him and his mind was completely empty, his breathing was steady and slow, just as if he were sleeping while being awake at the same time. He couldn't hear the neighbor's dog barking incessantly at the roaring noise of a motorbike engine, just like he couldn't hear the rain that had started drumming against the window of his bedroom, he couldn't hear not feel the way his cellphone was buzzing beside him and didn't even notice when his youngest brother all but bursted into his room like a hurricane.  
  
It was true that Zoro couldn't really hear if Luffy was shouting something like he'd definitely do, but Zoro's body immediately perceived the boy's presence, and when Luffy tried to tackle him, Zoro reflexes were quick enough to make him extend out an arm to catch the entirety of Luffy's face in his hand.  
  
"Can't you see I'm meditating?" Zoro muttered, his eyes still closed.  
  
"I donf carf! Wherf's Fanji?" Luffy growled with his face smushed against his brother's palm.  
  
A deep frown creased Zoro's forehead and he decided to open his eyes "Gone, this morning. Pretty early too, I guess." he said as he moved his hand away and Luffy collapsed face first onto the mattress. Zoro relaxed into a more comfortable position, and watched as Luffy scrambled back to his knees. The boy had ruffled hair and make up smudged underneath his eyes from the night before – though Zoro knew that he probably was in the same condition, if not worse.  
  
"I was hoping to find breakfast made from him, this morning." Luffy said in the most broken tone he could muster, then let out a dramatic sigh.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Go eat Shank's breakfast, don't be a little shit." Luffy stared at Zoro long and hard, and it actually made Zoro feel so uncomfortable that he had to look away. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
Luffy's stare soon turned into a half glare "What did you do to make Sanji run away?" he paused just enough to tilt his head in a slow and kind of creepy motion "He was so happy last night."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened comically under knitted eyebrows "W-what?!" he sputtered out "I did nothing! He did it all on his own!" he wasn't lying, he knew as much than Luffy knew, Sanji had been acting weird from the beginning, so apart from the issue with Bartolomeo, Zoro had done absolutely nothing, or at least he was pretty sure he hadn't.  
  
Luffy folded his arms over his chest, still scrutinizing Zoro with a hard, severe look that he had totally inherited from Shanks "I don't buy it, not completely."  
  
Zoro threw his head back with a groan "You gotta be kiddin' me!"  
  
Luffy's expression didn't change and neither did the unusual deep tone he was speaking in "Sanji hasn't looked that happy in ages. I won't forgive you if you did something to change that."  
  
Zoro stared at his younger brother in bewilderment, he couldn't believe they were even having that absurd conversation "You done?" Zoro finally replied in a tone just as serious as Luffy's "I'd never do anything to destroy Sanji's happiness," he would have added that he felt happy when Sanji was happy too, no matter what, but he decided it wasn't worth mentioning, it would only make him look like a desperate idiot. "I did nothing, and if something happened it wasn't on purpose."  
  
Luffy's expression relaxed, but he still looked kind of skeptical towards his brother "Well it's just really weird that he left so early, no one saw him leave the house." he said simply, with a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
Zoro frowned, his gaze falling to his lap. Meditation really couldn't help much if Luffy kept rubbing it in. "Well I saw him go," Zoro hunched his shoulders before moving his eyes back on Luffy "I think he said something about having to go to work, though it was probably the asscrack of dawn when he left."   
  
Luffy's eyebrows shot up right away "Oh." he blinked and kept quiet, as if he was rethinking his suspicions.  
  
"I mean, we did have an argument before leaving Colosseum last night," Zoro dared adding in the most casual tone he could "but we made up shortly after."   
  
Luffy stared at Zoro dead in the eye "Why did you lie to me, then?"  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Zoro groaned and stood up from the bed to put some clothes on "I'm done talking to you and excusing myself for something I didn't do."  
  
"Well you _did_ piss him off! Didn't you?" Luffy insisted as he followed his brother with his eyes.  
  
"Yes! I did!" Zoro sneered as he pulled on a random t-shirt "But we were fine afterwards! So, technically, I did _not_ lie to you!"   
  
"Jeez, what's goin' on here?"  
  
Zoro and Luffy automatically looked towards the door and found Ace squinting at them while leaning against the door frame, his hair was sticking up in different directions and he had more smudged make up underneath his eyes than Luffy.  
  
"Cat ate your tongues?" Ace asked again, this time with an even more puzzled expression.  
  
"Zoro's been an ass to Sanji and won't admit that he made him run away." Luffy explained briefly and got up from the bed.  
  
"That is brand new information." Ace made a fake impressed expression and nodded his head slowly.  
  
"I did not!" Zoro growled "I hate both of you!" he went on as he padded past both of his brothers and went for a shower, at least he could lock himself up inside the bathroom and no one could bother him.  
  
"Someone's very pretty cranky today!" Ace teased.  
  
Mihawk, who was just getting out of the bathroom, looked at Zoro and cocked an eyebrow "You look like a pile of crap. Are you really sure that sleeping in the same bed as Sanji is healthy?"  
  
Zoro's expression was beyond horrified as he stared at his father, and all he could do was mumble "I hate this entire family." before squeezing by and slamming the bathroom door shut behind his back.   
  
What a brilliant start to an already shitty day.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

After the shower Zoro was feeling much better, he had cleared his head of any poisonous thought and not being around anyone for a while had indubitably helped him. He had also managed to sneak back to his room undisturbed to put on some fresh clothes, and decided to at least pull back up the covers of the bed to give it a semblance of neatness. Once he had straightened the blankets and the covers, the comforter produced Zoro's completely forgotten cellphone.  
  
"Oh." Zoro muttered to himself, eyebrows knitted together as he reached down to pick up the device. He hesitated, his finger hovering the middle button for some seconds, then he finally pressed it and the screen blinked to life.  
  
The Facebook and Instagram notifications had apparently increased and once again Zoro couldn't be bothered to check them, but the Whatsapp notification that had appeared beside them resulted in Zoro ceasing to breathe, even if for just a fraction of second. Just like when he woke up, his feelings were clashing between the want to check the message and its sender, and the want to just forget about even owning a damn cellphone.  
  
Ultimately, reason won over instinct and Zoro finally swiped his finger across the screen and discovered that he had two messages in two different conversations. Zoro ran his tongue over his chapped lower lip and tapped the screen only to be redirected to the convos list on Whatsapp, and finally discovering that a message was from Bartolomeo and the other from Sanji.  
  
"Here we go." Zoro sighed to himself as he chose to open Bartolomeo's text first.  
  
 _'hey, i wanted to apologize once again for my terrible behavior from yesterday. i know you hate it when i apologize a lot but i think i went a little overboard, i was stupid and hurt sanji, i didnt mean to. hope im gonna get to apologize to him tonight, tho he clearly doesnt like me. oh and im very excited to be at a party with you guys! thanks again for the invitation!'_  
  
Zoro's tense expression relaxed as he read on, Bartolomeo seriously seemed mortified by what had happened the night before and Zoro appreciated that. He wished he could reassure Bartolomeo and tell him that everything was going to be alright with Sanji but it would have been a terrible lie. Zoro knew that Sanji mindlessly disliked Bartolomeo and there was pretty much nothing to do to make him change his mind. And then there it was, Bartolomeo being excited and grateful for being able to attend a party with his favorite band, Zoro tried not too read too much into it, to ignore Ace's voice in his head reminding him that Bartolomeo had a crush on him, that was just a nice message from a friend and nothing more.  
  
Zoro proceeded to type up an answer, even if he didn't really know what to say.  
  
 _'its fine, sanji got mad at me for laughing at your joke so yeah'_  
  
Zoro stopped tapping on the touchscreen, frowning down at his own words. If he sent that to Bartolomeo he'd surely become paranoid and start feeling awful because he caused trouble between Zoro and Sanji, so Zoro deleted everything and started over again.  
  
 _'shit happens, sometimes people say things they dont mean and hurt others, it's a bad thing to do but it can happen. i do it too, sometimes. next time be more careful, sanji can be very sensitive when it comes to certain things. as for the party, you're welcome, we're definitely all gonna have a blast.'_  
  
Zoro reread the message a couple of times, just to be sure that everything sounded good and it wasn't rude or anything, then hit the send button. Bartolomeo wasn't a kid, he was a grown up and didn't need anyone to sugarcoat things for him, especially not from Zoro and especially not when it concerned Sanji.  
  
Sanji. Right. Zoro had received a message from him too, he chewed on his lower lip and went back to search for Sanji's text and opened it.  
  
 _'you didnt look very awake when i left this morning, just reminding you that i went to work early. zeffs being a fuckface and i might have to stab him soon, i hope franky has enough booze for me. also, tonight im coming with my own car so if i feel like going home before you and your brothers i can do it.'_  
  
Zoro took his time to read Sanji's words and he somehow felt relieved by the first part, at least he had kept his word and told Zoro twice that he hadn't run away but he had had to go to work early, though the second part of the message had Zoro scowl deeply. That was weird, why would Sanji want to leave the party early? Also, if he wanted to get so drunk why would he ever want to drive? It made no sense, and Zoro couldn't help but have a bad feeling about the whole thing.  
  
 _'you finally learned to warn people, how thoughtful. your father is the worst, whats wrong with him today? or did you puke on the restaurant floor and pissed him off? knowing franky im pretty sure theres gonna be plenty of booze (me happy). and.... ok? idk why you wanna leave early, we'll probably all just crash at frankys._ '  
  
Zoro was still glowering down at his phone screen when he sent the message, as if it had offended him personally. Sanji hadn't stopped being weird, apparently, and Zoro didn't like it one bit.

He wasn't expecting an immediate reply, especially since he figured that Sanji probably had his hands full with handling the kitchen at Baratie, so he decided that he could slip his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and finally go downstairs to have some breakfast.  
  
Sanji's text had left Zoro tense and slightly anxious, even if he tried to keep that sensation as far from him as possible, and now he knew that he was definitely going to run into his family, even if he didn't want to.  
  
"'Morning, sunshine," Shanks saluted him as soon as Zoro walked past the couch where both his parents were watching TV.   
  
"Good morning." Mihawk said as he glanced up at Zoro with a somewhat examining look. Zoro hoped to the entire Norse pantheon that he wouldn't open his mouth again and spill any more awkward things like he had before, or he would have committed suicide right there and then.  
  
"'Mornin'." Zoro mumbled quickly as he tried to get to the kitchen as fast as he could. Thank to whatever deity none of them stopped him for any reason at all. Two less people to worry about, now on with his brothers, because he was sure as hell that they were both still eating breakfast.  
  
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the crankiest of them all?" Ace chanted as he smirked over at Zoro.  
  
"It is Zoro! And lo, he's just come down of his tower!" Luffy announced in a proper town crier fashion.  
  
Zoro glared at his brothers and flipped them off with both hands, not even saying anything in return as he marched towards the fridge. He heard them laugh but ignored them.  
  
"C'mon, bro, we're only joking!" Zoro heard Ace speak but didn't turn to look at him as he scanned the food into the fridge, not really seeing it.  
  
"C'mon, Zoro..." Luffy started "I'm sorry, Ace told me that Sanji's been weird since yesterday, so it can't be your fault."  
  
Zoro's jaw clenched and he grabbed some ham, cheese and tomatoes to make himself a sandwich. He slammed the door of the fridge with his foot, then went over to the island to prepare his food in silence.  
  
"...Are you giving us the silence treatment?" Ace asked, and Zoro could clearly hear the disbelief in his voice.  
  
"Shut up, okay?" Zoro bursted, slamming the knife he was holding down onto the cutting board "I don't like being ganged up against, not by my brothers," Zoro kept going as he finally looked over at Luffy and Ace who were staring at him disconcerted "if I tell you that it's not my fault then it isn't! If I tell you that Sanji's been acting weird on his own then it is so!" he growled out so loud that he was surprised Shanks didn't come rushing to end the argument.  
  
"I know that, this is what I told Luffy, don't get–" Ace spoke calmly, trying to reason with Zoro before he could abruptly cut him off.  
  
"Don't tell me to keep calm, because I'll throw the table at you, alright?!" Zoro was shouting, making both his brothers flinch, in an outburst that he never meant to have but that had been stored up inside of him for too long. "I care about Sanji! I–" he paused, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath and lower his voice "You perfectly know how I feel, and if I had done something I'd fucking admit it and I'd be already trying to apologize to him."  
  
"I'm sorry, Zoro. Really." Luffy said in a serious tone, staring at Zoro right in the eyes.  
  
"Think before opening that damned mouth, then." Zoro went on, then looked down at the ingredients he was about to stuff a sandwich with "I'm not hungry anymore, you can finish this if you want to." he pursed his lips and walked out from behind the island.  
  
"Zoro..." Ace stood up as he saw that Zoro was about to leave the kitchen and grabbed him by the arm "He really is sorry. We both are."  
  
Zoro looked at Ace "Luffy can speak for himself and he did. I got that." he deadpanned "I need some fresh air. Sorry for lashing out." he waited for Ace to loosen his grip, then left the kitchen.  
  
Shanks and Mihawk had heard everything, Zoro was sure of it, but none of them said anything nor looked at him because they knew him too well.  
  
"Take a hoodie, we're training next week and I don't want you to have a stuffed nose." Mihawk did say something at last, in his weird fatherly manner, but Zoro kind of appreciated that and silently obeyed to him by grabbing his hoodie from the rack on his way out.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
Once Zoro was outside he knew that going for a run was the best option he had to let out all the anger that needed to steam out of his system. He was ashamed of having lost control like a madman but he was made of flesh and bones, too, and he was reaching his limit.  
  
Zoro tugged on his hoodie and pulled up the hood, he rummaged through its pockets and was lucky enough to find a pair of old earpieces into them, he plugged them into his phone and started up his music.

It was still drizzling when Zoro began to run, he didn't care if he was going to get drenched at some point, he needed to let out all his bottled up anger and nervousness in a way that didn't involve others. Zoro didn't even consider the very strong possibility that his poor sense of direction was certainly going to get him lost, he would have found his way back one way or another.  
  
He ran and ran, aimlessly, focusing on his breathing and trying not to get too fired up by the music in his ears. Zoro was lucky enough that his music library wasn't too filled with songs that would only make his mood worse, but the random mode always seems to be against you when it comes to this sort of things.   
  
There was a song that Zoro had always related to, way too much, he had also thought about deleting it off his cellphone but there's always that feeble sense of masochism which lies within the heart of someone in love, so Zoro never erased that song from his playlist. _Ever Dream_ by Nightwish came on and Zoro nearly tripped over the bulging roots of a tree planted into the concrete of the sidewalk, he stumbled forward but quickly found his balance again. He considered skipping the song for a moment, then decided that it might have been somehow therapeutic, a shock treatment sort of thing, Zoro let the song play and started running again.  
  
He knew the lyrics by heart, he was so familiar with the melody that he could have played it on the drums even without the guide of a music sheet. There were rumors about the song being written by the keyboardist of Nightwish who had feelings for the singer who didn't return them, Zoro had always thought that the way that piece of music was sung felt kind of impersonal and void, as if the singer knew the meaning of those words and didn't want to humor the keyboardist by singing from her heart.  
  
 _Ever Dream_ wasn't the only song that Zoro could relate to, but it hit home in a way that not many tracks could. It wasn't just the usual song about a one-sided love, it was also about sharing a dream with the one you love and having another dream that in no way can be fulfilled, because the other person cannot return your feelings. That pretty much summed up Zoro and Sanji's relationship, it was their story in six verses.  
  
Zoro couldn't tell for how long he had been running, nor the turns he had taken, but he somehow found himself in a part of the city that he knew all too well. He hadn't ran there on purpose, and he didn't like to believe in coincidences, but his feet had taken him on the side of the road that was opposite to the Baratie. Zoro stopped in his tracks, a horrified look on his face as he looked at the front door of the restaurant, droplets of rain were streaming down his wet hair and face, and in his head, while Tarja was still singing the chorus, Zoro could hear the unsung dedication written at the end of the lyrics:  
  
 _"All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you.  
One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain.  
For yours I truly wish to be."_  
  
Zoro scrunched up his face and skipped the ending of the song, fixed his hood and turned on his heels to flee the area as fast as he could. He had seldom felt pathetic because of that entire situation, but never like that very moment, he didn't live in one of those terrible, sad romantic movies, what had all of that been about?  
  
"It would have been better to end up on the other end of the city, what's wrong with me?" Zoro muttered to himself as he skipped through the songs in his library until he could blast some healthy viking metal in his ears to make up for what had just happened.  
  
Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he had seen Sanji look at him from the window of the restaurant, and tried to convince himself that he had clearly imagined it, why would Sanji be out of the kitchen? He was the sous-chef, not a waiter.   
  
Shit, was Zoro really starting to see things? Marvelous.

It took Zoro a while to get back home, partly because he got lost on the way back and partly because he was still trying to figure out how the hell he managed to arrive in Sanji's street. Probably it was just his subconscious pulling a dirty joke on him, still Zoro wasn't amused.  
  
Once he unlocked the front door he got some weirded out stares by his family who was all crammed up on the same couch, watching Lord Of The Rings. Zoro didn't say anything and took off his drenched hoodie in order to hang it back where he'd found it.  
  
"Don't you dare leave it there!" Shanks chastised him in a threatening tone "Put it in the shower or something!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and took it back in his hand.  
  
"You've been in the rain all the time?" Luffy asked with a cocked eyebrow.  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I was out, what was I supposed to do?"  
  
"Get back home?" Ace suggested.  
  
"Get inside a bar?" Luffy continued.  
  
Mihawk kept silent, he glanced once at his son, then went back to the TV. Shanks did give his husband a severe look, as if he wanted him to say something, but it was thoroughly ignored.  
  
"I'm gonna take a shower..." Zoro announced half-heartedly "Again." he moved to trek up the stairs and not too soon heard some footsteps coming from behind him.  
  
"Zoro!" Luffy called him out, and Zoro turned to find both his brothers looking at him from the bottom steps.  
  
"Are you alright?" Ace asked, his eyebrows drawn together in apprehension.  
  
Zoro pursed his lips and nodded "Kinda." he paused and looked down at his feet, conjuring up the courage he needed to apologize again for what had happened. "Look, I'm really ashamed for the way I bursted out on you guys," he shook his head as he looked back at them "I shouldn't have."  
  
Luffy and Ace both shook their heads as well.  
  
"It's fine, we did bug you until you exploded." Luffy shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"We should have known when to knock it off," Ace went on for both of them "I had promised you to give you a break on the entire Sanji matter, I'm sorry."  
  
Zoro sighed, hanging his head "I guess we really are all brothers, after all."  
  
Ace sniggered "For our mutual stupidity?"  
  
Zoro snorted and nodded his head.  
  
"Go get a bath instead of a shower." Ace suggested jerking his head in the general direction of the top story.  
  
"We'll make you tea for when you're done." Luffy smiled.  
  
Zoro sniggered and shook his head "I'll be alright, thanks." and with those words he finally went upstairs to take that bath, this time with no background music playing – even though he couldn't really get lost in the bathroom.   
  
When Zoro placed his hoodie to dry over the radiator, he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants, and suddenly he realized that he had completely forgotten about Sanji's reply to him on Whatsapp.  
  
"Shit..." Zoro sighed and finished stripping down, he opened the water to fill up the tub and checked Sanji's message.  
  
 _'well thats kinda the point, idk if i wanna crash on a couch or the floor, maybe i'll go back home or fuck knows where. idk, i'll see once im there, im not in the greatest of moods. and zeff and i got in a such a big fight that he downgraded me to waiter for the day (or so i hope, i dont wanna wait tables, i hate seeing that many people)'_

Zoro's eyes widened, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. So Sanji really was out of the kitchen, Zoro really had seen him. God, what if Sanji had spotted him standing outside of the restaurant in the rain, like a stray and beat up dog? That was so embarrassing.   
  
Sanji hadn't mentioned it, so Zoro could still hope that he hadn't seen him, he also knew that he should have probably been more concerned over the fact that Sanji was still being weird about not wanting to spend the night at Franky's, but right in that moment he couldn't.   
  
He found himself standing butt naked next to the slowly filling tub with shaky hands and sweaty palms and feeling like the biggest dumb fuck of the entire galaxy.  
  
"I need to calm the fuck down." Zoro grumbled to himself as he leaned his cellphone on the sink and rubbed at his face with both hands. He had already felt awful enough for an entire morning, it was time to knock it off for as long as he could, or he wasn't going to make it to the party alive. He stepped inside the tub and tried to sink as deep into the water as he could.  
  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
_Murder Of Crows_ and their friends were always punctual when it came to shows and practice, but for everything else it was nearly pointless to set up a real meeting time because everyone would simply show up whenever they wanted.  
  
Zoro, Ace and Luffy arrived to the party forty minutes later than the designed time, definitely not bad for their standards, considering the fact that Luffy's pants completely ripped on the front a couple minutes before leaving the house because he'd been wrestling with Zoro and he had to get changed, and Ace had suddenly felt like changing into a sleeveless button down shirt with a huge Wednesday 13 patch sewed on the back. Zoro too had changed into a more comfortable pair of ripped black jeans, because he decided that it would have been a suicidal move to wear his bondage pants if he got too drunk to walk without ripping the straps or getting tangled into them, but the gorgeous Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt that Usopp had got him for his birthday had been a perfect choice from the beginning.  
  
When the three brothers were finally inside Franky's house the people who filled the giant living room/kitchen space were the usual: Vivi and Nami were sipping alcohol from their plastic cups while sitting on the couch, and Brook, Usopp and Franky were playing Guitar Hero and terribly singing along to Judas Priest.  
  
Sanji was nowhere to be seen, just like his car outside, and Zoro didn't know if he had to feel relieved or concerned for the time being.  
  
Nami and Vivi stood up from their comfortable seats to greet the guys who had just arrived, while the three gamers didn't even pause Guitar Hero to do so.  
  
"We'll say hi properly later!" Usopp shouted from over Franky's cussing.   
  
"This song is a _super_ pain in the ass!" Franky yelled, eyes glued to the screen and fingers moving impossibly fast over the toy guitar buttons.  
  
"Yohohoho! This isn't like playing real guitar at all! I suck at this!" Brook laughed and shook his head, not even acknowledging the brothers' presence.  
  
"Ignore them, they've been like this for the past twenty minutes." Nami rolled her eyes.  
  
Luffy had already jumped on Usopp's back, making him lose track of the song "You can't play bass! Give up!"   
  
"Luffy! You shit!" Usopp growled as he tried to buck Luffy off of his back.  
  
"And there he goes." Ace sighed and shook his head as he watched his little brother tighten his grip on Usopp.  
  
"Uh, Vivi..." Zoro started, visibly uncomfortable as he raised the bag he had been holding until then.  
  
Vivi turned around with raised eyebrows "Yes?"  
  
"Err... We all suck at presents, but..." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, handing her the bag "Here. Happy Birthday, again."  
  
Ace nodded beside Zoro "Happy _late_ Birthday!"  
  
Vivi gave them a wide smile and grabbed the bag from Zoro's hands "Aw! I'm sure I'm gonna like it anyway!"  
  
Nami arched an eyebrow "Don't be so sure, they're not like Usopp. No matter what he said he really gave you a beautiful present." she shot the brothers a glare "I hope you didn't get her anything embarrassing."  
  
"Fuck off, Nami!" Zoro groaned.  
  
"Why? What'd Usopp get her?" Ace asked, unable to hold back his curiosity.  
  
"He did a redrawing of a beautiful photo he had taken of me and Nami after one of your concerts." Vivi explained with a smirk, her hands working on unwrapping the gift.  
  
"Top that." Nami teased.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "You're her girlfriend, _you_ top that."  
  
Vivi snorted and earned an outraged stare from Nami "I'm sorry baby, but he's kinda right." she snickered and placed a kiss to Nami's cheek.  
  
"You're supposed to back _me_ up, not them!" Nami pouted, then looked down at the present that had been finally taken out of the box.  
  
"You guys! I love it!" Vivi gasped as she raised a leather vest with studs on the shoulders and fishnet sleeves "Thank you!"   
  
"You're welcome!" Ace and Zoro said in unison before shooting Nami a victorious grin.  
  
Nami huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, while Vivi went to thank Luffy too, even though he was too busy having a bass off competition with Usopp on Guitar Hero while Brook cheered them on.  
  
"Hey guys!" Franky finally walked up to them "You alright?" then he furrowed his eyebrows and immediately asked "Where's Sanji? I thought he was going to come wih you."  
  
"Yeah, no. He's coming on his own." Ace replied before Zoro could.  
  
"I see," Franky pursed his lips "Saturdays at the Baratie are pretty insane."  
  
"Yeah." Ace nodded.  
  
Zoro didn't say anything and limited himself to nod along. He hadn't heard from Sanji at all during the rest of the day, so he didn't even know at what time he was getting off work.  
  
"What about Smoker? He said anything?" Franky went on with the questioning, and this time it was Ace's expression that darkened.  
  
"No, not really." Ace muttered.  
  
"He's a police captain, he probably had loads of shit to take care of at work." Franky patted Ace's shoulder sympathetically, and Zoro could clearly see the murderous glimmer in Ace's eyes.   
  
Ace had been really nervous himself all day, and Zoro couldn't really blame him, he was really worried that Franky had scared him off, even though Zoro had profusely reassured him that it probably wasn't the case and that he could have indeed felt a little embarrassed and out of place towards the unexpected invitation.  
  
The doorbell rang right before Ace could say anything, and Zoro perked up at the possibility that Sanji could have finally arrived.  
  
"I'll get it!" Franky yelled from over Usopp and Luffy yelling at each other, and went to open the door. "Ooohhh! The Prince of Crows!"  
  
Zoro's stomach twisted.  
  
"Hey, big guy!" Sanji half-hugged Franky with one arm, then handed him what looked like a huge cake box "Put this in the fridge, alright?"  
  
"Roger that!" Franky saluted him, then went to the kitchen with the box.  
  
"Hello, trash bags!" Sanji greeted everyone, then walked up to Vivi and Nami "And hello to you beauties, too!" Sanji kissed them on the cheeks.  
  
"Hi, Sanji!" Vivi kissed him on the cheek as well.  
  
"Hey you!" Nami held him tight and patted him on the back "We thought you deserted us."  
  
Sanji smirked "I never could." then handed Vivi a box "This is a gift for both you princesses, I wouldn't open it here."  
  
Vivi blushed as she took the box in her hands "W-why?"  
  
Nami widened her eyes "Did you buy something nasty from a sex store?"  
  
"What? Who got something from a sex store?" Brook asked all of a sudden.  
  
"No one!" Sanji growled "It's nothing nasty, trust me."  
  
Vivi put the box next to all her other opened presents while Nami kept giving Sanji a distrusting glare.  
  
Zoro had watched the entire scene with a skeptical look on his face and arms folded over his broad chest, it was typical of Sanji to get embarrassing presents but he didn't think he could do that to Vivi... Or maybe he could.  
  
"Hey, nerds!" Sanji finally looked in Ace and Zoro's direction before walking up to them. He went up to Ace first, hugging him.  
  
"Long day at work?" Ace asked as he pulled back from the hug.  
  
"Ugh, neverending." Sanji grimaced.  
  
Now that Zoro could look at him better he could tell that Sanji had tried to mask his tiredness with make up as best as he could, yet he might have fooled everyone but Zoro.  
  
"Aren't you gonna say hi, Marimo?" Sanji asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Hi?" Zoro said in return, perfectly knowing that it was going to piss Sanji off.  
  
"Funny." Sanji nodded.  
  
"What do you want? A french kiss?" Zoro asked with a shrug.  
  
"Hm, that could work." Sanji shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Zoro wouldn't have done it because it went against his principles, but just to shut that annoying little shit up he would have seriously shoved his tongue down his throat. "You wish."  
  
Sanji seemed to falter, he failed to quickly come up with a retort and stammered out a "R-Right, I need that like air." he rolled his eyes and quickly busied himself with taking off his coat and getting a beer.  
  
Zoro stood next to Ace slightly dumbfounded.  
  
"Was he considering that like... Really?" Ace whispered so that only Zoro could hear.  
  
"Don't ever say that again." Zoro sneered between his teeth.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Time went on between the first drinks shared all together and the opinions about the show from the night before. Everyone was enthusiastic and fired up, and just couldn't wait to finally hit stages they had never played on before, _Freakshow_ still had to confirm the other dates, but as of the latest show they were going to have a concert on Tuesday, the first one out of town.  
  
"Speaking of _Freakshow_ ," Usopp started, checking the time on the huge clock on the kitchen wall "did they get lost?"  
  
Nami shrugged a shoulder "Maybe they don't wanna spend more time than is actually necessary with us."  
  
Luffy snorted "They love us, I'm sure they're gonna come."  
  
"One of them certainly is." Sanji muttered into his can of beer.  
  
Zoro glared daggers at him but kept quiet.  
  
"Who?" Vivi furrowed her eyebrows, then when Nami gave her an eloquent look and not too subtly jerked her chin in Zoro's direction she let out an elongated _"Oh."_ that resulted in half of them snickering and Zoro glowering down at the can he had in his hand.  
  
"Guys, guys!" Franky cried out as he finally came back from God knows which part of the house with an acoustic guitar in his hand. He had been far too restless for his standards, and even now that he was sitting down again he couldn't stop moving or fidgeting.  
  
"Ah, Franky! That's a beautiful guitar! Why did you keep it from us?" Brook furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at the details of the definitely old but perfectly kept instrument in Franky's hands.  
  
"Because this is my baby! It's a gift from a person I loved very much and I always keep her safe in her case." Franky explained with a gentle pat to the body of the guitar.  
  
"Come on, play something for us! We might let you join the band!" Luffy grinned as he sat on the floor between Ace and Zoro.  
  
"You know how he plays, and there's no open spots in the band!" Sanji growled as he tried to hit Luffy on the head.  
  
"He knows that!" Zoro snarled as he pushed Sanji's hand away.  
  
"What I really wanted to do, though," Franky cleared his throat to get everyone's attention back to him "is playing the part of the average douche at a party." he failed to bite back a smirk.  
  
"Oh God, no." Nami rolled her eyes and stood up, walking to the food table and deciding that stuffing her face was a better idea than witnessing what was coming next.  
  
"No, don't tell me that–" Ace scowled.  
  
"He's gonna do it." Usopp snorted in amusement, already anticipating what was about to happen.  
  
"Anyway, here's Wonderwall." Franky announced in a dramatic tone and everyone either laughed or made an annoyed sound.  
  
"Don't you dare playing fucking Oasis!" Sanji groaned as he threw his head back.  
  
"They only did one thing right!" Zoro started.  
  
"Wonderwall?" Franky suggested.  
  
"Disband!" Zoro roared in return, making everyone laugh even harder.  
  
"No guys, c'mon! Let's all sing Wonderwall!" Usopp tried to convince them as he kept laughing.  
  
"No fuckin' way." Ace shook his head with a snicker.  
  
"I never learned the words and never will." Sanji grumbled and stood up to get something to eat himself.  
  
Zoro watched him move towards the table with curious eyes, it was good to see that Sanji was already starting to put something different from alcohol into his stomach. He felt his own stomach growl, so he figured that he should probably join him. Zoro stood up and walked up to the table, still watching as Sanji smiled while speaking to Nami and she gently elbowed him in the arm as she laughed.  
  
"Are these of good quality enough for you?" Zoro begun as he picked up a miniature sandwich and inspected its contents before popping it into his mouth whole.  
  
Sanji lifted his eyes on Zoro and shrugged a shoulder "They look edible." he looked back down at the range of food that had been spread across the table "Not exactly the healthiest, but I guess it can work for once. Even if I wanted to cook for this party I was too busy."   
  
"Being a waiter." Zoro teased with a smirk.  
  
Sanji's eyes snapped up to him "Shut up..." he snarled, threatening.  
  
"I'm sure you looked like an idiot even as a waiter, don't worry." Zoro nodded and pushed another mini sandwich into his mouth. Zoro knew how Sanji had looked as he waited the tables, he had seen him wear the uniform that every waiter at Baratie wore and even if it wasn't Zoro's genre, Sanji definitely looked good in it.   
  
"I hope you choke on that." Sanji deadpanned.  
  
"I can manage." Zoro replied instantly with a small smirk.  
  
Sanji stared at Zoro for a moment, apparently unsure as of what to say in return, then scrunched up his nose "I'm sure you don't practice as much as I do."  
  
Zoro's smirk dropped from his face. Well it had certainly been a while since the last time that Sanji had to remind him about his very active sex life, and Zoro hadn't missed being filled in.  
  
Forehandedly, the doorbell rang. It really didn't distract Zoro from his sulking but he could at least pretend that it did.  
  
"Maybe it's your boyfriend, cheer up." Sanji clapped a hand on Zoro's shoulder and Zoro slapped it away.  
  
"Are you ever gonna knock it off?" Zoro asked, sarcastic.  
  
"Once you'll stop flirting and being in love, then maybe I will." Sanji nodded and went to pour himself something stronger than simple beer.  
  
Zoro fought back the instinct to slam Sanji's face into the nearest wall for everyone's sake, ruining the party with a murder wasn't the best idea ever, even though it did sound very Agatha Christie.  
  
"Ooooh! We really did think that you didn't wanna mess with us more than necessary!" Usopp shouted as he opened the door and people started pouring inside the house.  
  
"Nah! We like you!" Bonney announced as she patted Usopp on the arm "Plus there's food and booze, we couldn't really miss it!"   
  
Zoro watched as everyone greeted _Freakshow_ one by one as they entered the house. After Bonney came Killer, then Heat, then Robin, _Freakshow_ 's friend from the night before who had Franky suddenly light up and forget his precious guitar in a corner to go up to her. Zoro had momentarily lost track of who had stepped inside, but when he glanced back to the door he saw Bartolomeo awkwardly shut it behind his back and smiling widely at Luffy who had gone to him for a hug. Well, they were definitely short of two people... Where were Trafalgar and Eustass?  
  
"Hey! Where's your brother, Barto? And Law?" Nami asked when she saw that no one else was coming in.  
  
Bartolomeo scratched the back of his head "They're the actual reason why it took us so long to get here."   
  
"Idiots had a huge fight right when they were supposed to meet us to come here," Killer explained as he combed his long fingers through his excessively long fringe "so they didn't come. It's for the best, they would have torn each other apart."  
  
Zoro instinctively looked over at Sanji who was politely greeting the guests with a huge cup of whatever liquor he had found in his hand, and at the same time Bartolomeo entered in Zoro's field of view with a huge grin plastered on his lips.  
  
That was going to be a hell of a long night, Zoro knew it.

 

**_To Be Continued..._ **

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** sexual content.
> 
>  **A/N:** It's been 84 years since my last update, but it seriously seems like this story gets harder and harder to write as time goes on. Don't get me wrong, I know exactly where this is going and how it's going to get there, but it gets hard to put into words what I have in mind. Conveying two different POVs and getting into either Zoro's or Sanji's mindset isn't exactly a walk in the park, especially when they're being so hard on themselves.
> 
> Anyway, as always, I'm so glad that you guys like this story and all your reviews mean so much to me, you're all lovely! Thank you! 
> 
> Hopefully you're all going to enjoy this chapter as well, even though major shit is about to go down from this point on.

Parties all have different outcomes, different purposes and different ways to go. Zoro had learned to dislike parties in his early teens, mostly because he and Sanji rarely got invited by anyone, and when they began to attend some in high school everyone would get wasted, high and fuck in every possible place making Zoro extremely uncomfortable. Not to mention how it got like when it was Sanji who had started to disappear into random rooms and return with dark hickies and come stained clothes.  
  
Zoro had always been all about drinking with friends, clubbing was perfectly fine too, but being gathered in a single house with a bunch of people he knew nothing about made him want to run away. Once they had started to get to know the people who then became their group of friends, parties became rarer and usually very laid-back and with no strangers, so that Zoro came to enjoy them.  
  
The party for Vivi's birthday and the start of the _Murder Of Crows + Freakshow_ tour was something else, they had invited people who never before joined them and at first Zoro felt like it could have been awkward to spend all that time with people who they didn't actually know all that much.  
  
Initially it had been just like that, everyone was divided into small groups only talking to each other, maybe drinking and eating, while Usopp and Luffy had decided to monopolize Franky's PS 3. Zoro thought it felt a bit like going back to embarrassing birthday parties from high school, and for more then once he had thought about going back home because of how ridiculous things might have got.  
  
Then suddenly the small groups began to interact with each other, mostly because Bonney had overheard something about Franky having watched _Over The Top_ a couple nights before and claiming that when he was younger he had won an arm wrestling contest.  
  
"I won one too, you know?" Bonney arched an eyebrow as she bit into a slice of pizza and proceeded to speak with her mouth full "And I can still beat both Kidd and Killer." she grinned over at Killer who had blushed just slightly.  
  
"You don't _always_ beat me." Killer grumbled.  
  
"She does, she kicks your sorry ass every single time." Heat rubbed it in, and Bonney couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Is that so?" Franky smirked, adjusting the collar of his shirt. He threw Robin a brief glance, then focused back on Bonney "Are you challenging me?"  
  
Bonney pushed as much pizza inside her mouth as she could fit, then shrugged a shoulder "Sure, why not?" her words distorted as she chewed.  
  
Bartolomeo, who seemed to have taken up residence on the spot next to Zoro on the couch snorted "Franky's gonna get his ass kicked."  
  
Zoro's focus was on Sanji sitting on the floor with Vivi and Nami sitting at each of his sides not too far from the couch. They seemed to be speaking about something important, and some times Sanji looked over at Zoro for a second, then looked immediately away. Zoro was so absorbed by them that he had nearly forgotten about Bartolomeo's presence, so when he spoke Zoro nearly flinched. "W-what?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.  
  
Bartolomeo looked at him confused for a few moments, then explained "Franky... He just challenged Bonney to arm wrestle with him."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed at how weird that sentence sounded "Huh?!"  
  
Bartolomeo blinked, then pointed over Zoro's shoulders. Zoro turned around to discover that what Bartolomeo had said was true, because Bonney and Franky were indeed ready to arm wrestle.  
  
"What the fuck is going on?" Zoro asked in bewilderment. Suddenly, a weight dropped on Zoro's lap, making him gasp and rear back.  
  
"He's clearly trying to impress Robin," Sanji stated from his new seat "he just doesn't stand a chance, with _none_ of the ladies he's dealing with." he grinned down at Zoro, then briefly glowered over at Bartolomeo.  
  
Zoro didn't know where to put his hands, and above all he didn't really have a clue about what was happening or when Sanji had decided to sit sideways on his lap. He felt Bartolomeo shift a few inches away from them, and when Zoro glanced at him he saw him chew nervously on his lower lip.  
  
Sanji was doing it again, he was being jealous and possessive over Zoro and Zoro decided he was going to bask into the feeling that Sanji establishing dominance was giving him.  
  
"I'm pretty sure he was lying when he said he won an arm wrestling competition." Sanji spoke softly, as if he wanted only Zoro to hear him.  
  
"U-uh... I wouldn't know..." Zoro shrugged and decided to place a hand on Sanji's hip and the other on Sanji's thigh.  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow and looked down at his own lap "Whoa there, octopus Marimo."  
  
Zoro's first instinct would have been that of retracting his hands, but then he looked up blankly at Sanji "Seriously? You lounge all over me whenever you get the chance and _I'm_ the octopus?"  
  
A look of utter surprise was painted on Sanji's face "Whoa! Do you realize that this is the longest sentence you've pronounced since this party has started?"  
  
Zoro's jaw clenched and his nostrils flared "Shut up, idiot. That's bullshit."  
  
Sanji shook his head "I'm serious!"  
  
"Fuck!" Franky yelled, and Sanji and Zoro both looked over at him. He looked flustered and slightly in pain as he massaged his bicep, while Bonney guffawed as she stood up clearly victorious.  
  
"You're incredible, Bonney!" Robin chuckled as she applauded.  
  
"I know, I know." Bonney bowed slightly, then went to the food table.  
  
"Ha! I told you he was hopeless!" Sanji clapped his hands together.  
  
"I heard that!" Franky growled.

Zoro sniggered as he looked over at an extremely flustered Franky "Wanna try out with me?" he teased with an arched brow.  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrow as well "Oh, me too!" he waved a hand.  
  
Franky glowered at both of them "Fuck off."  
  
Robin stood up "Don't be so bitter Franky, she could have broken your arm and dislocated your shoulder, but you're still in one piece."  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, an amused smile curving his lips as he watched the anger on Franky's face turn to bewilderment.  
  
"Oh. Oh, I'm not bitter at all! I will accept my defeat like a man!" Franky flexed his arms, and poorly tried to mask the pain that dared warping his face.  
  
Robin giggled and shook her head "I'll get you a drink. You deserve one."  
  
Franky stared at the girl who turned to walk up to the booze table, possibly even more incredulous than before.  
  
"That's ridiculous." Sanji muttered, making Zoro look at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Did he seriously make a good impression on her by losing like that?"  
  
Zoro huffed and rolled his eyes "You're as deep as a puddle."  
  
"Hey!" Sanji cried, clearly outraged.  
  
"You have no idea how women work, you treat them in the exact opposite way you should." Zoro started, getting more and more fired up "What makes you think that a woman can't like someone like Franky? And why wouldn't Robin like Franky even if he lost to Bonney?"  
  
Sanji was just about to say something in return when he saw a hand thrusting a plastic cup nearly between his and Zoro's faces. Zoro scowled down at the cup, then up at whoever had just handed it to him, and was greeted by an embarrassed yet smiling Bartolomeo.  
  
"I got you some rum. Thought y-you might like it." Bartolomeo explained, not without stuttering, but trying to look as cool as he could.  
  
Zoro saw Sanji's nostrils flare and his jaw clench, but he still grabbed the cup "Uh... Thank you, bud." he slightly raised it.  
  
Sanji turned to Bartolomeo who looked so proud of himself it was endearing, but Zoro was sure Sanji didn't think the same "Are you a fucking idiot or what?"  
  
"Cook..." Zoro sighed.  
  
"We're talking and you just butt in with a shitty cup of booze?" Sanji went on, the vein on his neck bulging "You're rude as fuck!"  
  
"I was just trying to be nice!" Bartolomeo tried to justify himself, looking from Sanji to Zoro "I-I didn't mean to..."  
  
Sanji snapped his fingers, his eyebrow cocked and his lips were in the shape of an _'O'_ , just as if he'd just realized something important "I see what you did here," he nodded, a knowing and totally fake smirk plastered on his face "you saw Robin do this for Franky and thought it was a great idea to do the same, huh?" he laughed a hollow laugh "You're so smart, my friend. A+ flirting going on here!" Sanji clicked his tongue and stood up from Zoro's lap "I'll leave you guys to it."  
  
Zoro hadn't seen it coming, he thought that Sanji was going to keep arguing with Bartolomeo and that he would have had to break the fight, but instead Sanji left, or rather tried to.  
  
"Oi!" Zoro grabbed Sanji's wrist.  
  
Sanji turned around to glare at Zoro "Let go of me." he said in the iciest tone Zoro had ever heard from him.  
  
"Don't be stupid! He just–" Zoro started, and he didn't even know if he was trying to make up excuses for himself or Bartolomeo.  
  
"Sanji, I'm sorry." Bartolomeo suddenly chimed in, Zoro could read in his expression a sort of determination that he'd rarely spotted on Barto's features. "I do things without thinking about theirs consequences one too many times, and I've hurt you twice in the span of a few hours. I'm sorry."  
  
Zoro was genuinely and positively impressed by Bartolomeo's courage and argumentation, but he knew that things like those didn't really work on an angry Sanji, especially not when they came from someone he didn't like much.  
  
Sanji took a good look at Bartolomeo and snorted "Shut the fuck up." he said dry, then shook Zoro's hand off of him "Enjoy that drink, Marimo. Hopefully it won't come out of your nose." he turned around and walked up to Ace who was apparently having a deep conversation of some sorts with Usopp.  
  
Zoro sighed and shook his head, then looked over at Bartolomeo and the baffled expression on his face. He didn't say anything, he wasn't going to comfort nor compliment him, so Zoro looked down at the booze in his hand and knocked it back in a single gulp, hoping that Sanji's not too subtle hex wouldn't work.  
  
"I'm an idiot." Bartolomeo muttered to himself.  
  
Zoro was already rolling his eyes, he didn't have time to nurse an angsty, bulky, green-haired dude, he already had himself to look after. Still a phrase just naturally rolled off his tongue, and it was more of a spoken out thought to himself than a warning for Bartolomeo "There's no winning with him, trust me. I've known him all my life."

"I don't know how to act with him," Bartolomeo sunk back into the couch next to Zoro "he's my favorite singer and all I did was antagonizing him." he let out a dramatic sigh and Zoro watched him throw an arm over his eyes.  
  
For the first time Zoro realized that Bartolomeo must have liked Sanji all along, if not in the same way he seemed to like Zoro, he still liked him as a musician, Bartolomeo loved Murder Of Crows, after all. The realization left Zoro slightly dazed, yet even more aware of how hard Bartolomeo could fail at getting his idols to like him.  
  
Zoro found himself completely unable to spill even just a couple words of comfort because he had no idea as to how Bartolomeo could stop antagonizing Sanji, since Sanji's mind was pretty much set on hating the guy – Zoro couldn't say he completely approved of it, but as long as it didn't cause direct harm to Zoro he didn't really care about sticking his nose into it.  
  
Zoro looked over at Sanji who had started sharing a bottle of that horrible strawberry vodka (that the blond liked _so_ much) with Ace, and eventually even Usopp asked to have his own cup filled with it.  
  
"He stopped talking to you because I was an idiot."  
  
Zoro heard Bartolomeo sigh, so he turned his head to look at him "Well, in an ideal world he wouldn't have left just because someone interrupted us." he shrugged, because yes, it had been impolite of Bartolomeo to randomly chime in but Sanji's was still an overreaction.  
  
"I'm causing troubles between the two of you," Bartolomeo grimaced as if he was enduring a great pain "but you two are like the best duo of all times and I don't want anything to–"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, suddenly cutting in and stopping Bartolomeo's verbal diarrhea "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen, it's alright. We're not married, and if you know us as much as you say you do, then you'll know that we fight quite often."  
  
Bartolomeo nodded "Exactly like a married couple, yes."  
  
Zoro groaned "But we're not."  
  
"I know," Bartolomeo nodded again "but I also know that you're super close and I don't wanna–"  
  
Zoro whacked Barto on the nose with his empty plastic cup to silence him "Stop. You can't possibly ruin anything, alright?" he retorted, kind of exasperated. He wanted to tell Barto that he was giving himself more importance than he actually had, but Zoro didn't want to be so blunt – though he would have been ready do to it if the situation called for it.  
  
"Okay, okay!" Bartolomeo grabbed the dented cup from Zoro's hand and intensely stared down at it "So you..." Barto squeezed his fist around the cup, scrunching it a bit "Want another drink?" Bartolomeo asked, not daring to lift his gaze on Zoro's and turning a bright shade of pink.

Zoro's face scrunched into an unreadable expression, he couldn't even tell what he was feeling exactly but he really thought that Bartolomeo's flirting efforts were both ridiculous and sweet. Zoro wasn't a flirter, not at all, he had practically never done it in his life and it was mostly because he had never cared about just getting laid, and the only person he had ever liked up to that very day was the only person he had ever truly wanted to sleep with and... He had never really flirted with Sanji, probably not even as a joke.  
  
There had been a time in his life in which Zoro had considered the possibility of being similar to his brother Luffy, but Zoro wasn't completely uninterested in sex, he only was uninterested in sex with people he couldn't really give a shit about. Yes, there had been a few drunken intercourses with a couple of his friends from his kendo team when they were in other towns for tournaments, but that was about it, he certainly hadn't charmed the pants off of his sexual partners in those occasions.  
  
Zoro didn't want to give false hope to Bartolomeo, but he didn't even feel like stepping all over his efforts because he could tell just how hard it had been for Barto to muster up the courage to ask him that, so Zoro sighed and nodded "Sure. But I'll go with you. I don't want a slave who fetches me drinks from the table."  
  
Bartolomeo's eyes widened slightly and he blinked a couple times before spluttering out "I-I don't mind being your slav–" he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes now the size of the moon and his face impossibly red "I mean! I don't mind–"  
  
Zoro couldn't help but laughing into Bartolomeo's face and clapping a hand on his shoulder "I get what you mean. Stop talking or your head will blow up."  
  
Bartolomeo's lips pressed firmly together as he vigorously nodded and then followed Zoro towards the booze table.  
  
  


 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
  
As the night went on, everyone gradually got more hammered. Just by taking a look at every single person scattered around the huge living room you could tell the level of drunkenness they were in. Well, everyone except for Brook who had decided to call it a night and go back home.  
  
Usopp had started hitting on Bonney like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow, and when she had slammed him into a wall and kissed the air out of his lungs just to shut him up, he had randomly bursted into sobs and Bonney had left him to sit in a corner to go eat an entire pizza. Later on Luffy had run up to Usopp to try and comfort him, but just before he could hold him in his arms he had thrown up all the alcohol and food he had in his body on Franky's living room floor, thing that could have costed Luffy his life if Franky's face hadn't been buried into the crook of Robin's neck who was giggling and chuckling at the nonsense that was being whispered against her skin.  
  
Killer and Heat had decided to go outside to smoke weed, since Franky had previously told them that he didn't want his house to smell like a junkie's lair. After a while Bonney had dragged both of them back inside because she wanted to kick their asses at Tekken, but they all ended up falling asleep on the floor in a heap of limbs and with the game still on.  
  
Nami and Zoro had started one of their drinking contests with Vivi and Bartolomeo cheering them on, but at one point Zoro had stopped because Nami had made too many comments about Bartolomeo acting like a very cute and supportive boyfriend, and Zoro didn't want to punch her – especially because he knew Nami's fury all too well.  
  
Sanji and Ace, on their part, abandoned by Usopp, had started looking more and more angsty as they drank and whispered to themselves about God only knows what... That until Ace saw Luffy vomiting all over the floor and Usopp crying not too far from him, so he pulled himself together and marched (or rather staggered to their rescue) leaving Sanji to sit alone and visibly outraged on the floor.  
  
Zoro had just stopped Bartolomeo's attempt to lay his head on his shoulder as he drunkenly laughed at something that Vivi had said, when he caught a glimpse of Sanji glowering at the floor like it had insulted him. Zoro stood up, not even noticing that Bartolomeo had collapsed against the armrest of the couch when he had moved away from him, and walked up to Sanji.

The blond's expression had turned blank while absentmindedly chewing insistently down on his labret, as if he had forgotten about Ace leaving him there all of a sudden and was now deep in thought. Zoro crouched down in front of him, tilted his head to the side as he searched for Sanji's gaze, then waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
Sanji flinched slightly, straightening up and squinting at Zoro as if it were the first time he'd seen him that night "Marimo! Don't sneak up on me!"  
  
Zoro snorted "I literally walked up to you. I didn't do anything sneaky."  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest "Whatever." he muttered, then his eyes wandered over Zoro's shoulder "Why did you leave your boyfriend alone? He's gonna cry." he nodded as his gaze went back to lock with Zoro's.  
  
Zoro groaned softly and hung his head "Please, can you just shut up about Bartolomeo?"  
  
Sanji shrugged his shoulders and pushed his lower lip out "I don't know, can he get off your dick for a minute?"  
  
Zoro opened his mouth to say something in return but then closed it again as he screwed up his eyes "You care an awful lot about him sitting on my dick. Someone might start to think you're jealous." he knew too well that he shouldn't ask questions like those to an intoxicated Sanji, but it might have been the only way to tear the truth from his lips.  
  
"Shut your mouth, moss-headed bastard!" Sanji sneered as he leaned closer to Zoro, looking ready to gauge his eyes out "I don't fucking like how he acts around you," he breathed out, suddenly so close to Zoro's face that he could distinctly smell the alcohol and tobacco in his breath "I don't fucking like it a bit." Sanji repeated, and this time the sentence sounded less slurred than the first time.  
  
A chill ran down Zoro's spine, and he couldn't tell if it was because of Sanji being so close to him or for his words, but it was probably a mixture of the two. Zoro pulled back slightly, just a couple inches, then gulped before he could speak again "Then you're a stupid, jealous Cook." his voice was somewhat hoarse, but he didn't even think about clearing his throat.  
  
"I'm not–" Sanji's nostrils flared and he bit the tip of his tongue before he finished his sentence "Fuck jealousy. Fuck him. Fuck you." his voice was almost a hiss now, and for some reason it went straight down to Zoro's crotch. Sanji grabbed the almost completely empty bottle of vodka that was sitting not too far from him, but Zoro caught his wrist before he could bring it any closer.  
  
"I think you've had enough." Zoro chastised him with both his voice and his piercing look.  
  
Sanji's visible eyebrow quirked up "I think you haven't had enough, yet."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "This has nothing to do with me."  
  
Sanji shook Zoro's hand off his own wrist and raised the uncapped bottle towards Zoro's mouth "C'mon, make a boy happy," he paused and his lips curled in one of those smirks that made Zoro want to smash his own head into a wall "drink up."  
  
Zoro grimaced "No, you know I can't stand that stuff. It smells like shit." he turned his head away from the bottle.  
  
"C'mon! Don't be a weak ass!" Sanji insisted.  
  
Zoro sighed, only giving in because he didn't want to have a completely pointless argument with Sanji over strawberry flavored vodka "Alright!" he reached for the bottle but Sanji promptly slapped his hand away.  
  
"No touching." Sanji furrowed his eyebrows, then jerked his chin towards Zoro's mouth "Open wide."  
  
Zoro's eyebrows furrowed impossibly deep as he gawked at Sanji, bewildered. What was he on about?  
  
Sanji huffed "Open your damn mouth, you moss-brain!" he none too gently tugged on Zoro's chin until his jaw slacked open "There! It wasn't that hard." Sanji smirked again, then moved to sit on his knees before he could start pouring vodka into Zoro's mouth.  
  
As soon as the booze hit Zoro's tongue he couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the terrible taste of medicine mixed with alcohol – God how much he hated that crap. He could also feel it starting to drip from his chin and down his neck, and cursed mentally because of how sticky and smelly his skin was going to be, but it was then that Sanji frowned and stopped pouring the liquor into Zoro's mouth.  
  
"Shit. You can't even drink." Sanji muttered. Zoro was just about to tell him whose fault it was and where exactly he could stick that bottle, but he froze at the sudden feeling of Sanji's warm tongue licking up the streak of booze, painfully slowly, stopping by his lips and pulling back only to say "I don't know why you hate this so much."  
  
"C-Cook..." Zoro breathed out.

"Shut up, Marimo." Sanji whispered before he started sucking on Zoro's bottom lip.

Zoro froze up, he heard the sound of the discarded empty bottle thumping on the floor and rolling away, then felt Sanji's cold hand hooking on the nape of his neck as he pulled him closer for a kiss. He didn't know what to do, how to respond, he looked at Sanji's closed eyes and felt his lips moving against his own but couldn't do anything. Zoro knew that Nami and Vivi were probably watching them, hell even Bartolomeo was with them and he could have been seeing them. That wasn't right, not at all, he didn't want people to look at them while they kissed, that wasn't some sort of show for voyeurs.  
  
"Stop it, stop!" Zoro said lowly as he broke away from Sanji.  
  
Sanji looked terribly offended by Zoro's actions "What the fuck?"  
  
Zoro huffed and subtly jerked his head in the general direction of the couch where Bartolomeo and the girls were sitting "They could be watching us." he explained briefly.  
  
Sanji snorted "Who the fuck cares? Let them be the huge perverts they are." he shrugged and reached out to catch a grip of Zoro again, but to no avail.  
  
"I care! I don't want them to lurk!" Zoro growled as he pushed Sanji's hand away.  
  
"God! You're such a pain in the ass!" Sanji groaned as he slowly got up and tugged on a green strand of hair "Get up, you bastard."  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows but stood up anyway. As soon as he did, Sanji grabbed him by the wrist and walked towards the corridor that would bring them to the stairs that lead the way to the upper story of the house, where the bedrooms were. A mild feeling of panic crept into his body, he didn't want things to take a problematic turn, especially not with a drunken Sanji.  
  
"Is here alright?" Sanji suggested as he stopped in the small space that lead to Franky's store room, right beside the stairs.  
  
"Sanji, I–" Zoro tried to protest, Sanji's name slipping through his lips, maybe not even too accidentally, thing that apparently only served to fire up the blond even more.  
  
"Oh, I like the way you say my name, Marimo," Sanji grinned "I'll make you say it again," he pushed Zoro against a small portion of the wall "maybe you'll scream it." he whispered into Zoro's ear.  
  
The tone was so deep and intense that Zoro let out a small moan only by hearing that. He had never heard Sanji speak that way, it was nearly a completely different sound that came from a side of Sanji that Zoro could only ever dream about. He felt Sanji's lips against his again, pressing roughly until Sanji's tongue slipped between them and Zoro had no chance but to part them and let Sanji's tongue in.  
  
The kiss was hungry, almost bruising, it was very similar to the one they had shared that night in Zoro's bed, but Sanji had taken the lead as he pressed his entire body against Zoro's and pinned one of his hands over his head. Sanji's mouth moved from Zoro's, his teeth nipped at the perfectly shaved jaw, then at his pierced lobe, making Zoro's earrings tingle and his body shake slightly.  
  
"Someone's definitely awake." Sanji whispered into Zoro's ear as he squeezed his thigh between Zoro's legs, earning a moan and a curse that made Sanji chuckle. His lips latched onto Zoro's neck to lick, bite and suck at the tender skin and tear a few more grunts from Zoro.  
  
Zoro knew he shouldn't have let Sanji do all of that, no matter how much he wanted it and how much he was enjoying it, but his mind was completely hazed by the pleasure and utter want for Sanji's entire being. He wanted Sanji's lips on his again, he wanted to taste his mouth once more, to feel that cigarette and strawberry flavor on his tongue again, so he gently pulled on Sanji's hair until he pulled back.  
  
"What is it, Marimo?" Sanji licked his own lips "You don't like it?"  
  
Zoro huffed and shook his head "Shut up." he pulled Sanji in and crashed their lips together.  
  
Sanji's hands went both to cup Zoro's cheeks, and Zoro held him by the hips as they ravaged each other's mouths. Everything was going so fast that Zoro's head spun slightly, he was nearly out of breath but he felt as though that if he stopped kissing Sanji he would have died. He wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist and held him close, he felt Sanji's nails scraping down his neck and groaned against his lips – they were like fierce beasts trying to tear each other apart and who enjoyed every single moment of it.  
  
"I want you." Sanji moaned, almost whimpered out.  
  
It was like the spell that held Zoro bound had been broken and he'd snapped back to reality "Me too but..." he swallowed thickly and watched as confusion washed over Sanji "You're drunk, we can't." he shook his head "And we'll regret this. _You_ 'll regret this in the morning, I know you."  
  
Sanji's face warped with rage "Why don't you want me?" he spat "What is it, huh? Am I that repulsive to you?" his voice was filler with anger but clearly dripped pain, and that ache went straight through Zoro's chest.  
  
"What are you talking about?!" Zoro asked in a higher tone than normal " _Repulsive_? You're not repulsive!"  
  
"Oh I bet you'd fuck me right up against this wall if I were Bartolomeo, huh?" Sanji growled as he took a step back from Zoro "You fucking asshole!"  
  
Zoro's jaw dropped, because the last thing he thought he'd hear was that "You need to fucking stop bringing him into every damn fucking thing! I've had enough of this bullshit!"  
  
Sanji shook his head "I see him and how he tries to lead you on! And I see that you like it! I'm not fucking blind!"  
  
Zoro's eyes widened and he spread his arms "You're fucking stupid if you think that I like him that way!"  
  
"So you _do_ like him!" Sanji insisted.  
  
"Oh my fucking God!" Zoro groaned as he threw his head back, then placed both hands on Sanji's shoulders "I don't give a fuck about him!"  
  
"Don't touch me!" Sanji bursted as he pushed Zoro's hands away from him. He glowered at Zoro and kept quiet for a few seconds before placing his hand on his own stomach "I'm gonna puke."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened as concern suddenly spread through him. He knew it was bound to happen, Sanji had definitely drank too much to keep it all down. "I'll take care of you."  
  
Sanji lifted up a hand "Fuck off, I'll handle myself."  
  
Zoro didn't fully expect that reaction but he understood it, so he raised both hands in surrender and watched as Sanji quickly, but definitely not without any problems, went upstairs.  
  
"Fuck..." Zoro scrubbed both his hands over his face, then up his gel slicked hair. He couldn't believe how stubborn Sanji was about that whole thing with Bartolomeo, yet Zoro couldn't bring himself to say anything more, to spit out his feelings and get everything straight. He just couldn't.

Zoro took one last look at the now empty stairs and shook his head. Sanji was starting to be more and more impossible to deal with, not to mention that he had always been a very susceptible drunk and trying to reason with him was out of question. One thing hadn't changed, though, and it was the way in which Sanji couldn't keep his hands and mouth away from Zoro when deprived of his inhibitions, and Zoro still couldn't wrap his head around it.  
  
He had been around a drunken Sanji plenty of times, still Sanji had never done more than some lounging on him like he'd always do even while being sober, angry make out sessions had never once taken place and Zoro was still shaken by it. He still felt the pressure of Sanji's lips against his, his teeth on his neck and his thigh against his crotch – oh and if anyone looked between Zoro's legs they'd definitely wonder what he'd been up to. He couldn't even hope to have imagined it all because he knew he had at least one huge bruise on the crook of his neck, easy to cover up, yes, but it was extremely real.  
  
Zoro didn't know what to do or think, Sanji had the power to break him and in that moment his mind was shattered into pieces. He needed to sit and he needed a drink, or maybe several. Yes, several drinks sounded perfect.  
  
Even as he moved back to the living room he couldn't shake away the voices in his head, the one voice that told him that Sanji cared about him in more than just a friendly way, that Sanji was jealous and wanted him all for himself, but there was also the voice that told him how much alcohol Sanji had had and reminded him of how fragile and greedy Sanji could turn while intoxicated.  
  
"Shit!" Zoro breathed out as he squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't even noticed that he had finally made it to the living room, and barely acknowledged the hand on his wrist.  
  
"Zoro..."  
  
A feminine voice. A pause. A tug on his wrist, then two hands were pressed on either side of his face.  
  
"Zoro, are you alright?!"  
  
Zoro shook his head and blinked his eyes open to see Nami in front of him, thin eyebrows knitted together in concern.  
  
"Fuck, I thought you were dying or something." Nami sighed out in relief and let go of Zoro's head.  
  
"I wouldn't cross out that possibility." Zoro grunted, then turned to the half empty booze table "I need to get drunk."  
  
Nami shrugged a shoulder "Sure, I'll keep you company."  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow at her and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Sanji had liked to think that after a long and awful day at work he would have had a nice and fun night with his friends. He had genuinely thought and hoped that, maybe to mainly convince himself as a mean to get through the day and be strong, even if he was seriously struggling between the idea of committing either a patricide or a suicide.  
  
When Sanji had decided to go home for an extra snooze he had accidentally slept in, causing all hell to break fucking loose.  
  
Zeff had barged into his room and literally pulled him out of bed by tearing the blankets and covers all the way off the mattress, yelling like he was possessed and scaring the living crap out of the poor sleeping boy. An epic fight had followed, in which insults and curses had spilled and flooded the room and probably the entire neighborhood, with Zeff threatening to fire and kick Sanji's ass out of the house. Nothing new, yes, but he had brought up the Murder Of Crows gig from the night before and made everything worse.  
  
Sanji needed to grow up.  
Sanji needed to stop believing in fairy tales.  
Sanji needed to sleep when it was time and at home.  
Sanji needed to focus on work.  
Sanji needed to stop dreaming to make a living out of something so stupid like music.  
  
Same old, same old.  
  
Zeff had never hit Sanji, but that kind of verbal abuse had always bruised him more than any slap he could have ever taken, and after that stupid fight over absolutely nothing he had been downgraded to waiter and his pay had been reduced until he was going to learn his lesson, a.k.a. fuck knows when exactly.  
  
Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.  
  
Sanji sucked it up and stopped fighting back, there was no winning anyway, but he was going to take his revenge once his band was finally going to be famous. They were on the right path, they could do it, and then Zeff could take his stupid restaurant and shove it entirely up his ass.  
  
The whole thing with his father had nearly made him forget about all the overwhelming, unwanted and panic-inducing feelings he had been literally slapped with since the night before, but not too late into the day Sanji had started to remember all of them.  
  
He felt nauseous for the greatest part of the day, barely put anything into his stomach and tried to block out all the thoughts about Zoro that crossed his mind, even though it was close to impossible.  
  
Sanji felt like he was completely unprepared to see him, like he was too exposed to the world and his skin wasn't thick enough to bear with it, but he needed to be strong and continue to live his life like he always had. He couldn't just hide from Zoro, it wasn't the right way to deal with it, he could get over it and add up a new layer of steel around his heart.  
  
Luckily enough the Baratie had been packed most of the time, leaving Sanji very little time to think about anything that wasn't waiting tables, smiling, dealing with customers and everything else that came with his temporary job. He calmed down eventually, all the panic slowly seeped out of him and left him with a feeble sense of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, it wasn't perfect but it still was something.  
  
All in all he had been pretty proud of himself even with the way he had handled things during the party, he had tried to be as relaxed as he could and he had also found the strength to face Zoro like nothing inside of him had ever changed... That until Bartolomeo showed up and started hovering around Zoro like a fucking shadow, and Sanji's murderous instincts came all the way back.  
  
He had always been jealous of his and Zoro's friendship, but Zoro wasn't really one for making best friends that easily and unless it came to their group of friends he wasn't really that interested in other people, so Sanji had never really felt particularly threatened by others. Bartolomeo though, was a whole different thing. Everyone and their mothers had understood that he was completely smitten with Zoro and Sanji loathed it.  
  
Bartolomeo had always been a hardcore fan of the Crows, and had always shown a particular interest for Zoro, much like Duval was totally obsessed with Sanji, but things had taken an unexpected turn and Bartolomeo had literally intruded their lives and started getting more and more attentions from Zoro.

His strong dislike for Bartolomeo was tricky, just as much as his new found feelings for Zoro. Sanji had been completely torn between not wanting to deal with both of them and wanting to keep Zoro close to himself and Bartolomeo as far away from Zoro as possible.  
  
Even Nami and Vivi had told Sanji about how Bartolomeo had glued himself to Zoro as soon as he had set his feet past Franky's threshold, and it was then that, fueled with annoyance, Sanji had finally mustered up the courage to sit on Zoro's lap while Bartolomeo was sitting next to him on the couch. It had been the best move, Zoro had started ignoring Bartolomeo and all his attentions were for Sanji, making him feel very powerful... Up until Bartolomeo had had the nerve to interrupt their talk by handing Zoro a drink he had got for him, a drink that Zoro hadn't even asked for.  
  
Maybe Sanji should have stayed where he was, he shouldn't have moved away from Zoro because he was practically playing Bartolomeo's game and giving him what he wanted, but Zoro had looked like he didn't give a shit about Bartolomeo's rudeness and that had made Sanji's blood boil.  
  
From that moment on he had spent the rest of the night with a pair of extremely angsty drunks: Ace and Usopp. They were both complaining about love and relationship crap, but their disappointment fit Sanji's mood enough to have him drink with them. Usopp had been shit out of luck with relationships too many times, and Ace couldn't shut up about Smoker not being there and not even having called him. Sanji would have gladly kicked both of them in the teeth but vodka was flowing and he knew that soon enough he wouldn't even hear their voices anymore.

And there he was a few hours later, kneeling on the bathroom floor and hugging the toilet as he bid farewell to everything he had filled his stomach with until that moment. Drunk out of his mind he couldn't think straight, actually in that situation there was really nothing he could think about, except for how sore his jaw felt and how much his throat burned.  
  
Sanji pulled back and sat down against the tub, resting his head on the lip and closing his watery eyes. Everything spun for several seconds, so he pressed his fingers against his closed eyelids and once again he asked himself why would he do this to his body, even though the answer was always obvious and always the same.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, seriously contemplating if he should have just crawled inside the bathtub and slept in there, since he was so exhausted that he didn't even want to breathe anymore. Then his other senses started to gradually wake up and he grimaced at the awful taste in his mouth, reminding him of how gross it would have been to just go to sleep after throwing up.  
  
Sanji hummed to himself and carefully got up to his feet, flushed the toilet and took a couple steps towards the sink. He tried to avoid looking at his own reflection in the mirror and washed his face and mouth as thoroughly as he could.  
  
The fresh water felt like heaven against his heated skin, and as he started feeling better his mind suddenly reminded him of what had happened with Zoro. He had no idea what had triggered those actions towards him, he mostly blamed the huge amount of booze in his system and probably even Bartolomeo constantly being attached to Zoro, but at this point he couldn't tell if he wouldn't have done it while being sober.  
  
Sanji looked at himself in the mirror, at the sicklish color of his skin and the smudged residues of his make up, and realized for the first time that everything in his life was spiraling out of control: his relationship with his father, his job and now his most important friendship was being threatened. Sanji held onto the sink and looked down at it, he was still far from being sober and his throat ached as if a blade had been embedded into it, his head felt light and if he didn't sit soon enough he knew he would have collapsed.  
  
Tearing himself away from the sink, Sanji staggered towards the tub one last time before giving in and sitting inside of it. The ceramic was cold and his clothes weren't thick enough to protect his body, but he couldn't do anything about it, he needed to rest, even just a little bit. He let his eyes fall shut, curled up as much as he could and tried to ignore the feeble pounding in his head.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
  
When Sanji blinked his eyes open, he had no idea that he had slept for nearly two hours, his back hurt, and once he sat up and stretched out it cracked really hard. He got out of the tub and straightened his clothes as much as he could, and when he discovered that his socks were soaked with water Sanji didn't even know when exactly he had taken off his boots nor where he had left them.

He sighed and rubbed at both his eyes with his knuckles, then finally decided that it was time to get back to the party – or what was left of it.  
  
Stepping out of the bathroom, Sanji furrowed his eyebrows at the realization that the house was way more quiet than before. He couldn't hear anyone speak, nor yell, there was just some music playing at what seemed to be a fairly low volume and nothing else. Could it be that everyone had already given in to sleep, even if it still felt quite early to Sanji? There was only one way to know.  
  
He had just began to pad his way down the hallway and towards the staircase when a sound caught his attention, well several sounds actually, moans to be more precise and they all came from the guest room located on the opposite end of the corridor. Sanji couldn't hold back his curiosity, especially when he noticed that the door of the room was cracked open, so he bit his lower lip and tiptoed towards it. He didn't even think about how creepy he was being, but then again he still hadn't gained back complete control over his brain, so he just rolled with it, held his breath and peeked inside.  
  
The last thing he ever thought he was going to see with his very eyes was the scene presented behind the door that was supposed to be shut, but it seemed like everyone had had one too many drinks. On the queen sized bed laid Vivi, her light blue hair was tousled and her dark cheeks were flushed, one of her hands gripped the pillow tightly while the other was between her legs, her fingers tangled into orange hair.  
  
A weird chill ran down Sanji's spine, he shouldn't be watching that, he never wanted to intrude that particular intimate moment between his two friends, yet he couldn't stop staring at the way in which Nami was working her fingers and mouth on her lover and at the way Vivi's back arched up and her jaw hung open in utter pleasure. At least they were both still fairly clothed, and Sanji couldn't help but smirk at the fact that Vivi was wearing the lace teddy lingerie he had bought her as a present.  
  
As he shamelessly stared at the two girls making love a thought suddenly flashed through his mind: Vivi and Nami weren't with Zoro anymore, he had been left alone with Bartolomeo and anything could have happened. Sanji's face warped with horror and he quickly pulled away from the door to carelessly run downstairs, missing a step and risking to break his neck, but still managing not to kill himself.  
  
When he finally made it into the living room, out of breath, he saw that everyone was indeed dead to the world and the stereo was playing for no one. Franky and Robin were mysteriously missing; Luffy and Usopp were sleeping cuddled up together on an armchair – which looked incredibly uncomfortable and they were probably going to be very sore in the morning; Killer and Heat laid asleep on the floor in front of the switched on TV and PS3, with Bonney sleeping practically on top of them; Ace looked like he was the only person still awake, huddled up on the armchair next to Usopp and Luffy's with a cup of something alcoholic in one hand and his cellphone in the other. Then he finally spotted them, on the same couch they had sat almost all night long, Zoro and Bartolomeo laid together as they slept facing each other and way too close for Sanji's taste.  
  
Sanji saw red, or maybe black, he stopped thinking, his mind firmly set on how the shitty Marimo had rejected him and went to Bartolomeo behind his back, just like Sanji had thought and feared all along. He didn't know what to do at first, he clenched his fists as he kept staring at the two bastards, panting as his rage grew stronger by the second, then something clicked in his mind and his gaze focused on the only person still vaguely conscious in the room. Yes, that was it, he was Sanji's best solution to whatever was bothering him in during that very day – after all, hadn't he planned to get drunk and fuck someone?  
  
Sanji marched towards the armchair and crouched down to Ace's level, the brunet's eyes were squinting down at the screen of his cellphone, so Sanji brushed his jet black bangs off his forehead and took the plastic cup from his hand. "Ace, give it a break. You should rest."  
  
Ace half-glowered at Sanji "I'm really hurt, Sanji. It really fucking hurts." he slurred out in a whine.  
  
Sanji nodded "I know that," he stroked Ace's cheek with the back of his hand and Ace instinctively closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch. "But I know the best medicine for it."  
  
Sanji's words made Ace's eyes snap open again "You do?"  
  
Sanji nodded and stood up a little too fast, he masterly ignored his dizziness and wriggled his fingers towards Ace "Come with me?"  
  
Ace seemed to be thinking about it for a few seconds, but after that he immediately held Sanji's hand and got off of the armchair. He tried to pocket his cellphone three times, and after the first two misses he finally managed to slip it inside his pocket with his free hand.  
  
Sanji guided Ace towards the staircase, thoroughly avoiding to look at Zoro and ignoring Luffy who had momentarily opened his eyes and called out for his oldest brother.

"Can you go up the stairs?" Sanji asked as he climbed the first couple of steps.  
  
Ace scowled down at the stairs, then shrugged "Maybe?" then he looked up at Sanji "You?"  
  
Sanji snorted "I might miss a couple."  
  
Both guys started laughing so hard that Sanji had to sit down and Ace kneeled on the first step and leaned against Sanji. By the time that the laughter had simmered down to casual chuckling and mild wheezing, Sanji and Ace were making the kind of eye contact that in a matter of moments lead them to instinctively crash their lips together.  
  
It was obvious that it would happen, almost scientific, two young men hurt and drunk, who had always kind of had a bit of a thing for each other, of course they would end up making out, if left alone. Sanji hadn't exactly studied it like this, he had mostly relied on the skills he usually used on men, but he had quickly realized that he wasn't even going to have to make too much effort.

Ace was the first one to break the kiss, gasping for air as he clearly wasn't properly rationing out his oxygen in his intoxicated state. Sanji tipped his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a long, drawn out sigh. He knew they needed to reach the remaining spare bedroom but he wasn't sure they could make it.  
  
"Feel like climbing upstairs, already?" Sanji asked when Ace seemed to have regained control over his breathing.  
  
Ace grimaced and tilted his head slightly "Y-you really think it'd be okay?"  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows "What?"  
  
Ace pursed his lips and waved his hand in the general direction of the top story of the house "Your remedy..."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes, then mentally cursed at his stupidity for having given himself a stab of pain that pierced right through his brain. "We're both adults, right? Why wouldn't it be okay?" Sanji shrugged a shoulder.  
  
A crease formed between Ace's eyebrows as he scrunched his nose "Smoker, I... I really–" he tried to explain, but Sanji cut him off as fast as lightning.  
  
"Oh c'mon!" Sanji pulled a face "He isn't here, is he? And he didn't even call you!" he watched Ace's expression going from uncertain to pained, and before he could say or do anything Sanji leaned in to place a soft kiss to Ace's lips "I'm here though, we can lick each other's wounds." he whispered, suggestive.  
  
There was a sudden trembling in Ace's body, and as soon as he heard those words he pressed his lips harder against Sanji's, thirsty for the attentions he needed and that could only get from the man sitting in front of him. Sanji swung an arm around Ace's neck, pulling him even closer as he deepened the kiss – he didn't even care if someone saw them, even because he was far too gone to give a damn.  
  
"Let's go upstairs, please." Sanji muttered against Ace's lips. Ace nodded and gripping the handrail tightly he pulled himself back to his feet and tried to help Sanji up as well.  
  
It took them double the normal time to get upstairs, as Ace kept risking to trip over the stairs and drag Sanji along with him, but they made it. Sanji squinted at the closed doors in front of him and tried to remember which one was the empty bedroom.  
  
"Let's just go there." Ace mumbled as he started in the direction of the room that Sanji had peeked into not too long before.  
  
"No! Not there!" Sanji grabbed Ace by the arm with both hands "There's Vivi and Nami inside that room."  
  
Ace scowled at him "What? How do you know?"  
  
Sanji snorted "I saw them." Ace's eyes widened "Everyone's fucking in this house, how cool is that?" Sanji went on as he guided Ace into the opposite direction.  
  
"I haven't fucked in a while." Ace grumbled and stumbled over his own feet, bumping into Sanji's back.  
  
"Well at least wait for me to be naked!"  
  
Ace sniggered and pressed Sanji into the door of the bedroom to bite his neck and run both his hands up Sanji's shirt.  
  
"Ah, fuck!" Sanji groaned as he tilted his head to the side, making more room for Ace's teeth. "We're still outside the room."  
  
Ace's response was grinding his hips against Sanji's and opening the door behind him, making sure that he wouldn't tumble inside by looping an arm around his back. 

Sanji laughed and backed away from Ace, he was utterly thrilled by the sudden hunger in the other man's eyes, so he climbed onto the bed and sat on it "Close that and come here." he purred as he beckoned Ace with his forefinger.  
  
Ace threw the door shut and reached the bed with two long and somewhat wobbly strides, letting Sanji wrap both arms around his neck as they kissed again. Sanji pulled away shortly after to change position, pushing Ace down on the mattress and straddling him. Ace placed his hands on Sanji's hips and hooked his fingers on the hem of his pants, he looked up bashfully at him like he was lost and hopeless and that only served to turn Sanji on and unleash his dominating side.  
  
Sanji's lips curved into a mischievous smirk as he began to undo Ace's belt "Relax, sweet summer child," he started as he unbuttoned and unzipped Ace's pants "I'll take good care of you."  
  
Ace's lips curled into a small smile and he visibly tried to ease the tension in his body, letting his head fall back and his eyelids flutter shut. "Everything's spinning. Shit." he pressed his fingertips against his eyes.  
  
Sanji pulled Ace's cock out of his boxers and bent over to speak lowly into Ace's ear "Soon enough you won't even know where you are." he sucked on Ace's earlobe and earned a deep groan in return. He didn't think Ace could be so responsive with the amount of liquor he had filled his body with, but then again he was young and definitely knew how to hold his booze.  
  
Sanji thumbed at the slit of Ace's cock, pressing down on it hard enough to tear another moan from his lips, then started pumping his fist along the shaft. He felt Ace move his legs and bend his knees, he panted and cursed under his breath at the delicious friction and soon enough he was searching for the button of Sanji's pants himself. It took Ace a lifetime to succeed in undoing Sanji's pants, partly because he was drunk as hell and partly because the work of Sanji's hand felt so good that he could barely accomplish anything that wasn't moaning, and at one point Sanji exasperatedly did it himself.  
  
"Thanks." Ace muttered as he bit his lower lip.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Sanji let go of Ace's erection and rolled on his side to kick off his pants and underwear, then quickly resumed his previous position "Where were we?" Sanji asked as he ducked his head to sink his teeth into the crook of Ace's neck.  
  
"Ah yes," Ace growled lowly "we were right there." he wrapped his fingers around Sanji's cock and began to stroke it in a slow but steady pace.  
  
"I knew it." Sanji licked a long streak along the salty skin of Ace's neck, then nipped at his throat, leaving him breathless for a couple seconds which served to Sanji as a cue to pump his hand faster.  
  
A groan got caught in Ace's throat, and when it finally found its way out it was louder than he had intended. Somehow, Ace managed to increase the pace of his hand, causing Sanji to begin rocking his hips to match Ace's strokes. Sanji moaned against the wet skin of Ace's neck before moving his head up to go back to ravaging Ace's mouth with his own. Ace kissed him back, messy and clumsy, his energy clearly decreasing as things got more and more heated and the booze in his system numbed his mind.  
  
Sanji kept leading the kiss, his hand stopped moving up and down to focus on nipping and sucking on Ace's bottom lip – it was warm and soft, and when Sanji had bit down on it a little too hard he had tasted metal on his tongue. Sanji had a bit of a kink for biting and scratching people hard enough to draw blood, and at that point he was ready to resume jerking Ace off fast enough to hear him whimper Smoker's name out as he came. Sanji didn't care if Ace had called out for Smoker instead of him, he wasn't doing it because he wanted Ace to love him or anything, so he just ignored it and nipped softly at Ace's chin.  
  
"Already?" Sanji teased.  
  
"I told you, it's been forever..." Ace whined, clearly embarrassed, as he struggled to keep his fingers clasped around Sanji's shaft, his legs trembling and his breath ragged.  
  
Sanji arched up an eyebrow "Let's find out how many times I can make you come, shall we?" he suggested as he casually wiped his hand on the bedspread.  
  
"Jesus..." Ace huffed and rubbed at his forehead.  
  
Sanji shifted back, nearly losing his balance and toppling off the bed as he reached the edge "Fuck!"  
  
Ace grabbed him by the front of his shirt out of instinct, taking Sanji by surprise because he didn't think his reflexes would work so well in his state "A-are you alright?" Ace asked, concerned "Maybe we should stop..."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes, whacked Ace's hand away and tugged his pants past his hips "Shut your mouth you stupid moss-brain." he murmured absentmindedly as he bowed his head to take the head of Ace's cock in his mouth, not even realizing what had just slipped past his lips.  
  
"W-wait..." Ace asked in confusion, but quickly forgot what he was going to protest about when he felt Sanji's tongue twirl around his awfully sensitive flesh.  
  
Sanji knew it could have taken a short while before Ace would grow back hard, especially since he was intoxicated, but he knew he could count on his skilled mouth and fingers. His hand wrapped around the base, stroking it slowly and gently twisting his fist every now and then as his lips enveloped the upper part of Ace's cock and sucked softly.  
  
"Shit!" Ace slammed both hands down on the mattress "Ahh! Fuck!" one of his hands moved to the back of Sanji's head and slightly gripped at his hair.  
  
Sanji felt Ace's cock twitch and start to harden up again, so he pulled it out of his mouth and pumped his hand up and down its full length a couple times as he watched the extremely flustered man underneath him squirm and moan. It was so rewarding to be able to bring people to that point, Sanji loved to see how men fell apart under his touch, nothing else could make him feel so powerful.

Sanji felt his own erection stir, but ignored it as he went back to take Ace's in his mouth, this time starting to bob his head as he sucked hard and gently scraped at the skin with his teeth until he felt Ace's fingers tugging slightly at his hair.  
  
"S-Smoker, n–..." Ace slurred out "No teeth. T-too much..."  
  
Sanji let out a huff of air through his nostrils and avoided using his teeth, so he concentrated on the friction that his tightened lips provoked on Ace's skin and used his tongue piercing to tease the underside of Ace's cock and the throbbing vein just below it. He felt Ace's hips buck twice at the teasing, Sanji knew that he wasn't controlling it, still he placed a hand on Ace's hips to keep them as still as possible as he deep throated him.  
  
"Holy fucking–!" Ace growled out "I can't. I can't!" he gripped tighter at Sanji's hair and tried to spread his legs as much as he could, even though the pants around his knees didn't allow him to move as much as he would have liked to.  
  
Sanji knew that Ace was close, the body language told him and the amount of bitter pre-come that he could taste in his mouth spoke volume. Sanji had thought about slipping a finger inside of him and give Ace a stronger orgasm, but he didn't have the time as Ace's climax hit him suddenly and filled Sanji's mouth before he could even realize it.  
  
Sanji's reflexes weren't the brightest at the moment, but he did succeed in keeping Ace's rocking hips as still as he could while he rode out his orgasm, and even if it had been harder than usual Sanji also managed to swallow most of it.  
  
When he finally pulled back and wiped his mouth on the back of his wrist, Sanji looked at the hot mess that was Ace: completely disheveled, panting, trembling and still humming and whining to himself. On a bare portion of his toned abdomen was still the residue of his previous orgasm and some of it had soiled his shirt too. That was indeed a beautiful sight for Sanji, there weren't many things he liked more than watching a man right after making him come.  
  
Sanji was panting as well, he let himself drop on the bed beside Ace and couldn't help but slide his hand down his own stomach and grab himself. He had been aching for some attention, some relief, and as soon as his fingers touched his cock he couldn't help but let out a quiet moan. Sanji would have much preferred a pair of lips around his erection, or maybe someone to ride into oblivion, but at that point anything would have done as long as it led him to his release.  
  
He bit his lower lip, teeth clicking just slightly against the metal of his piercing, his hand began to move up and down in a steady pace, making his hips roll and his knee bend. Sanji shut his eyes and tilted his head back, he felt his bangs sticking to his sweaty face, and when he squeezed the head of his cock between his fingers he let out a yelp.  
  
All of a sudden a pair of cold lips was against his neck, and a hand clasped around the one he was using to pleasure himself.  
  
"Let me..." Ace whispered in a hoarse voice, and Sanji let out a small whimper, letting go of his own erection.  
  
Sanji felt Ace's tongue lapping behind his ear while his fist pumped at a sloppy motion that still did its job, Sanji thrust his hips to increase the friction and groaned, his hand moving to grab onto Ace's hair.  
  
"Faster!" Sanji growled, and Ace complied, stroking him as hard and quick as he could. Sanji's toes curled and his hips lifted off the mattress as he felt his orgasm building up fast and let his knees drop to the sides until it finally hit him, and he unloaded himself over Ace's fist.  
  
Sanji tried to catch his breath and wet his chapped lips with his equally dried tongue, as he let go of Ace's hair. He touched his wet stomach and groaned "We should clean up." he suggested, even though he had zero will to get up from the bed and search for tissues. His shirt had probably been stained as well, just like Ace's, but he was too tired to be upset.  
  
"Yeah..." Ace muttered with his eyes already shut "Later."  
  
Sanji glanced at him and sighed "Let's get under the covers at least..." Ace hummed but didn't move a muscle.  
  
Sanji pursed his lips and looked down at Ace's legs tangled in his own pants, he was still wearing his boots too. Sanji groaned and proceeded to pull Ace's boxers up and remove his pants and boots. The task wasn't as simple as it sounded, not with the way Sanji's head had started to spin and ache, and with his completely drained energy that didn't even help him lift Ace's heavy limbs.  
  
Once he had finally made it through the ordeal, Sanji tugged down the covers and slapped Ace on the chest to wake him up.  
  
"No sir! The boiler is fixed now!" Ace bursted as he abruptly woke up.  
  
Sanji scowled at him "What the fuck?"  
  
Ace growled and covered his face with his hands "Turn off the light."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "Get under the damn covers." he reached out for the switch next to the bedpost and turned it off before finally sinking underneath the covers.  
  
When he shut his eyes his head was still slightly spinning, but his consciousness slipped away as fast as lightning making him fall asleep like a log, with no uncomfortable or poisonous thoughts to torment him.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Even morning people at some point will cave in and need more time to rest, especially after exhausting days and long, complicated nights.  
  
Time... Sanji had stopped acknowledging its very existence when alcohol had been severely involved and the hours mixed together until he couldn't tell anymore at what time exactly he had lost consciousness on one of Franky's beds. What Sanji could tell, though, was that people had taken up the nasty habit to startle him awake in the worst possible ways.  
  
During the last moments of his slumber, Sanji clearly felt the bed shake and heard a muffled thump, then when he tried to pull the covers over his head he heard some incoherent words being shouted at him until someone ripped the comforter off his body.  
  
"Hey! What the fuck?" Sanji whined, a shiver running through his body as he was suddenly exposed to the cold of the room. "It's freezing!" he curled up on himself, in desperate search for warmth.  
  
"No, wake up! You need to wake up!"  
  
Ace's panicked voice reached Sanji as it would in a dream, at first. Then everything came back to him all of a sudden, like a bucket of icy water, startling him awake.  
  
"Shit!" Sanji sat up way too quickly, his spinning and sore head making him squint and massage his forehead.  
  
"What the fuck happened here?" Ace asked, his voice nearly an octave higher than usual "Why are you half naked? Oh God!" Ace cried as he thrusted his hands in his ruffled hair, horror twisting his features.  
  
Sanji pulled the sheets over his lower half and waved a hand towards Ace "Shh shh! Don't yell, okay? Just don't! Calm down!" Sanji rubbed at his eyes with the same hand. He knew he couldn't ask Ace to calm down, especially not when his own heart was racing in his chest, and he couldn't quite believe what he had actually done himself.  
  
Ace spread his arms in disbelief "How can I–?" he realized he was still shouting, so he took in a sharp breath and repeated in a lower voice "How can I possibly calm down? I just woke up in a bed with you half naked beside me!" then he pointed at his own shirt and at the bedspread "A-and there's–" he stuttered, covering his eyes with a hand "Fuck, there's come everywhere!" he choked on the last sentence.  
  
Sanji's nostrils quivered and so did his lips when he tried to speak again "A-Ace... I..." he didn't even know how to explain it. He remembered every single thing that had happened with Ace, but he also knew that deep inside he hadn't really meant for it to happen. Somehow he was surprised that he had actually gone ahead with his crazy vendetta, but now everything felt painfully real.  
  
Ace was staring at Sanji with widened eyes but they looked vacant, like he wasn't really looking at him. "Fuck, I'm gonna–" he pressed a palm against his mouth and staggered in the direction of the small toilet of the room.  
  
"Holy shit." Sanji whispered to himself and nervously ran his fingers through his hair. He could hear Ace dry heaving and coughing before throwing up, but he couldn't bring himself to stand up and give him a hand. Well he was pretty sure that Ace wouldn't even want him anywhere near him.  
  
Sanji quickly got off the bed and searched for his pants, once he had found them he fished out his phone and checked the time. It was still before 10 am, so chances were that everyone in the rest of the house was still dead to the world – he needed to flee, and pretty fast too. He tugged on his boxers, and while he was about to pull on his pants Ace moved to tower over him.  
  
"Are you running away?" Ace asked in a mixture of disbelief and outrage, his voice hoarse and slightly broken "You can't leave me alone, not in this fucked up situation!"  
  
Sanji looked up at him and saw his red eyes and tear streaked cheeks, his heart tightening at the sight. "I can't stay here, Ace, I just can't!" he stood up, but Ace pushed him to sit back down on the bed.  
  
"You think I can?" Ace roared, but the tears wouldn't stop rolling down his cheeks "You gotta tell me what the fuck happened, because I don't remember a fucking thing and–" his voice got caught in his throat as a violent sob shook him "Shit!" he vigorously rubbed at his eyes, then pinched the bridge of his nose "Zoro's gonna fuckin' kill me."  
  
Sanji's heart stopped for a few seconds, he grabbed Ace by both arms and tugged on them "No! No, Zoro doesn't have to know about this, okay?" he stood up and shook his head "We made a mistake. A _big_ , stupid mistake, okay? We were drunk, and... We were lonely–" Sanji tried to roughly explain, but ultimately didn't even know what to say or how to justify their actions.  
  
"How?" Ace cried out "How am I supposed to face my brother, knowing that we fucked?"  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrows "We didn't go all the way, though!" he corrected him as if it could lessen the seriousness of the situation, even though it was all in vane. He looked at the raw grief in Ace's expression, he would have wanted to ease his suffering but he knew there was no solution.  
  
"Gee! What a relief!" Ace snorted, sarcastic, then tried to wipe away his tears "He trusted me and I stabbed him in the fucking back!"  
  
Sanji couldn't exactly tell what the fuss was all about, especially because Zoro and Ace weren't dating or anything and all this desperation had started to feel a bit odd. "He's not your boyfriend, so you didn't betray him or anything." he pulled a face.

Ace's face warped in an unreadable expression, and for a split moment Sanji feared that he would have chopped his head off. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? He's my brother and he–" he bit his tongue and his gaze fell on the floor as if the words he wanted to say had just been dropped and he was searching for them.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows "This might sound a bit problematic, you know?" he tilted his head slightly to the side as he tried to meet Ace's eyes again.  
  
Ace growled in frustration "Stop implying that we're being incestuous or other bullshit! That's not what I mean!" he tightened his fists along his sides and ground his teeth.  
  
Sanji raised his hands in surrender "Alright, alright!"  
  
"You were way more sober than me," Ace started, and Sanji felt the blood in his veins begin to freeze "why didn't you stop me?"  
  
Sanji's teeth immediately went to clasp around the small metal hoop hooked to his lower lip. He knew what he had done, he knew he shouldn't have screwed Ace for many reasons, and he perfectly knew that Ace wasn't so upset because he and Zoro had something going on – of course he knew it wasn't the case, still he couldn't bring himself to spill out the reason why he had lead Ace on.  
  
"Sanji..." Ace growled lowly, demanding a quick answer.  
  
Sanji shook his head "I wanted it. We _both_ wanted it." he began, waving a hand between the two of them "You know we've talked the whole night about how horribly we were feeling, how lonely we were despite having all those people around." he shrugged, and as he watched the attentive way in which Ace listened he wasn't sure that he still wouldn't be furious "I needed someone to want me, I needed someone to fall apart beneath my hands, my body..."  
  
Ace licked his lips "I do remember our conversation, and I do have bits and pieces of memories from last night." he admitted with a few slow nods "But I can't believe we did it, I mean... You're Zoro's best friend, I'm his brother we can't do this to him!"  
  
Sanji nervously scratched at his neck, he was seriously dying for a cigarette but he had no idea where he had left his last packet.  
  
"Look..." Sanji let out a shaky sigh and rubbed at this eyes with a hand, he felt more drained than ever but he needed to leave that house before Zoro woke up, so he placed a hand on Ace's arm and went on "You're his brother and you're sacred, just like the other way around – you shouldn't fuck you brother's best friend, but it's happened, alright?" he looked straight into Ace's reddened eyes and squeezed softly at his arm "We were drunk and we fucked up. But we can just forget about it, right?"  
  
Ace's eyebrows knitted together in horror "I can't forget what I've done! I'd punch myself in the dick for what happened!"  
  
Sanji dropped his head and let out an exasperated growl "Ace, I'll punch you in the dick if you don't listen to me!" he looked back at him "We won't say anything about this, alright?"  
  
Ace pressed his lips together and looked away, swallowing thickly.  
  
"Look at me, Ace!" Sanji tugged on Ace's arm "Zoro doesn't have to know. Especially not now that we have the whole tour thing going on."  
  
Ace stiffened at those words but turned to look at Sanji "I–" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat "Shit, I feel so awful." he shook his head.  
  
Sanji's lips twitched, he knew he had pushed Ace into that mess, but he couldn't possibly pull him out of it, there was just no way, and he knew that asking Ace to keep everything bottled up was hard but he really couldn't go shouting it for everyone to hear it.  
  
"I know you feel like shit, I am dying here too! But you can't say a word about last night, do you hear me?" Sanji reiterated as he placed both hands on Ace's shoulders.  
  
Ace's nostrils flared but he didn't reply to Sanji, he kept looking aside with trembling lips and a tightened jaw.  
  
"Talk to me, Ace." Sanji shook him gently, and Ace pushed his arms away from him.  
  
"I still can't believe we put ourselves in this pile of crap!" Ace sneered as he finally looked at Sanji "W-we should have stopped! _You_ should have stopped me!"  
  
Sanji's eyes widened "Again?!" he huffed and took a step back "I was _really_ into it and you were too, you know? How could we possibly stop in that condition?"  
  
"I have no fucking clue," Ace dropped to sit on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands "but I wish we would have!"  
  
"Well we didn't," Sanji replied promptly, spreading his arms "we kissed, and gave each other a couple orgasms because we needed them."  
  
Ace pulled at his hair as he listened to Sanji's words "Shut the fuck up! It's still wrong! Even if we needed it!" he snarled as he looked up at Sanji "I fucking betrayed my brother! He's gonna hate my guts!"  
  
Sanji's rage built up inside him faster than he thought, and it really took him a lot of self-control not to slap Ace across the face. "He won't fucking know if you keep your mouth shut, you moron!"

Ace's eyes darkened all of a sudden, there was no more desperation in them, just anger "You're a piece of shit, you know that?" he began in a low growl "How can you be so fucking calm about this? We're in this together!"  
  
Sanji's eyebrows knitted at the change of tone and expression, but didn't falter "I'm not calm, you idiot! Do I look calm?" he huffed, bewilderment washing over his face "I know damn well we're in this together, that's why I need to get out of here and you need to keep quiet about this whole thing!"  
  
"Of course!" Ace snorted as he spread his arms "You get your ass out of here and leave me here to lie to my brother!"  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes and moved to collect his boots from the floor in order to slip them on "Your brother, your brother..." he mocked Ace's voice as he zipped up the first boot, then went to fix the other "You don't have to lie, you just gotta shut up. It's that simple." Sanji could still feel the nervousness thrumming through his body, but if he didn't keep up a cool facade he was never going to escape the situation he was in. "Either way, I wouldn't worry too much," he stood up and shrugged a shoulder "I was gonna fuck your brother, but he pushed me away."  
  
Ace's jaw dropped and simultaneously his eyes grew twice as bigger than normal "W-wha–?" he sputtered out as if the wind had just been knocked out of him.  
  
Sanji tilted his head "Told you." he patted Ace's shoulder "You'll be fine."  
  
"What do you mean y-you were gonna–?" Ace tried to ask, but it seemed like words were stuck in the back of his throat.  
  
Sanji licked his lips and shook his head "I was drunk and..." he frowned his lips, shrugging both shoulders "I wanted him. So I tried to... You know, convince him. But it didn't work."  
  
Ace's expression remained frozen and Sanji couldn't figure out why "What? Are you jealous?"  
  
The moment those words were uttered Ace's face went back to threatening and aimed a punch right to Sanji's nose, but the blond was quick enough to block it with a hand.  
  
"What the fuck?!" Sanji cried out as he clenched his fingers around Ace's fist "You need to calm the fuck down, alright?" he yanked Ace's arm down and let go of his hand "You're as much of a psycho as that damn Marimo." he muttered and took Ace's outburst as his cue to finally leave the room and shut the door behind his back.  
  
Sanji didn't know if he had seen that coming or not, but Ace's behavior was overall confusing, too exaggerated even for what had happened the past night. He didn't want to ruminate too much over it though, what he had to do was get out of the house as quickly and quietly as possible.  
  
Sanji took a deep, shaky breath, he could still feel the tension in his entire body and he knew that it wasn't going to go away easily. He started to go down the stairs, cursing each and every one of them as they creaked under his feet louder than necessary, then took a good look around to see if anyone was awake. No one was around the kitchen or the small toilet, but he couldn't tell who could have still been asleep in the living room. He would have gladly skipped that area, but if he wanted to get to his car he needed to cross the living room, and he wasn't sure he was ready to face Zoro, whether he'd be asleep or not.  
  
Sanji swallowed thickly, held his breath and slowly tiptoed into the living room. The first thing he saw were Usopp on the same armchair from the night before and Luffy curled by it on the floor, Bonney had apparently woken up during the morning to get more food and had fallen asleep under the food table, while Killer and Heat were in the same spot she had left them, with great surprise Sanji also found Franky to be sleeping on another armchair – which was definitely too small for the huge guy to sleep into, but he looked completely dead to the world.

Sanji tried not to look past all of them, he forced himself to go and grab his jacket from the rack without turning his head to the couch, and he did a great job at that until he reached the front door and glanced over his shoulder to see Zoro with Bartolomeo's arm thrown over his shoulder. Sanji's nostrils flared and he felt a nasty tug to his guts, he pulled at the doorknob with more strength than necessary and left the house in a haste, slamming the door behind his back.  
  
He wasn't regretting sleeping with Ace all that much after seeing them, he didn't feel better about himself in the slightest, but now he was even too aware of the jealousy that was plaguing him.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Zoro was the type of person who could soundly sleep through the apocalypse without acknowledging whatever could happen around him in the slightest, but for some reason that morning he had been startled awake by the loud bang of a door being violently thrown shut. His body jolted and his eyes snapped open at the noise, but what he saw definitely too close to his face nearly made him yell out of surprise.  
  
Bartolomeo was facing him as he lied on his side on the couch, his parted lips revealed his sharp fangs and a small rivulet of drool was dripping down the corner of his mouth as he peacefully slept on, snoring softly. To top it all, one of Bartolomeo's heavy arms was slung over Zoro's torso, just like one of his knees was propped over Zoro's legs.  
  
He had no idea of what had happened before Zoro fell asleep, nor he even remotely recalled how he had ended up sleeping with Bartolomeo snuggled up against him, but panic quickly washed over him and made him push the poor guy off the couch. Bartolomeo landed on the floor with a dull thud, and a groan escaped his throat soon after. Zoro briskly sat up, too briskly, and for a moment he felt like he had been shot in the head.  
  
"Fuck!" Zoro cried out as he held his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
"Z-Zoro..." he heard Bartolomeo whine, then hiss as if he had just witnessed the presence of a ghost.  
  
Zoro slowly blinked his eyes open, and when he felt his head spin and his mouth being drier than ever he realized just how hungover he was.  
  
"Hmmguys, be quiet! I'm tryina sleep here..." Usopp mumbled in his sleep and squirmed in his seat.  
  
"Zoro, are you alright?" Bartolomeo asked as he got up on his knees and rubbed at his sore hip.  
  
Zoro glanced down at him "Why were you on the couch with me?"  
  
Bartolomeo's face flushed instantly and his eyes wandered around the room to avoid making eye contact with Zoro. "W-well... Y-you and Nami had a drink off and, and... And you passed out at one point, so I-I carried you to the couch and since I was–"  
  
Zoro scowled and grimaced "I passed out?" he blinked incredulous "How much did I–" but then he stopped mid-sentence as he processed all of Bartolomeo's words "You did what?!" he cried out.  
  
"Guuuuyyyyyys..." Usopp whimpered, tossing and turning in the small seat of the armchair, and still he was thoroughly ignored.  
  
"I-I couldn't leave you on the floor!" Bartolomeo flailed a hand as he tried to justify what he had just informed Zoro of.  
  
The drummer stared down at Bartolomeo in utter consternation, he couldn't believe his ears, that sounded like the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him, not even his brothers had ever had to physically carry him around in the past.  
  
"I-I couldn't have been that hammered, c'mon!" Zoro grunted, his cheeks getting warmer by the moment as he thought about Bartolomeo lifting him up and lying him on the couch.  
  
A small, sympathetic smile curled Bartolomeo's lips "W-well..." he tilted his head, clearly not daring to contradict Zoro in his embarrassed state.  
  
Zoro's nostrils flared, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red "That still shouldn't serve you as a reason to sleep next to me!" he barked and stood up from the couch, his head was still pounding and his mouth felt nasty and way too dry. He needed to drink a couple gallons of water at least, so he marched towards the kitchen.  
  
An ever so flustered Bartolomeo scrambled up to his feet as he tried to quickly follow behind him "I know I shouldn't have but–"  
  
Zoro stopped and turned around so suddenly that Bartolomeo bumped into him "But _what_? There shouldn't be any buts!" he snarled out of frustration.  
  
Bartolomeo took a step back from Zoro and shrugged a shoulder "Well..." he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment as he gathered up his courage "You're the one who grabbed the front of my shirt and told me to stay."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened comically and his breath got caught in his throat, he didn't know how to get back to what he had just heard, he was just more and more puzzled by Bartolomeo's words. "W-what?"  
  
"I swear!" Bartolomeo placed his hand over his chest "Vivi and Nami saw us, I-I..." his voice cracked slightly, but he went on "I was embarrassed, but you wouldn't let go of me!"  
  
Zoro's face had probably turned impossibly red. What the hell was wrong with him? He had no idea he could turn like such a pathetic huge baby while being pissed drunk, it was insane. Had he known about that side of him he wouldn't have drank as much as he had, he was completely mortified and other people had seen him whine to Bartolomeo about not wanting to be alone or something. God, he wanted to bury himself under six feet of dirt and concrete and never get out again.  
  
"Zoro, are you–" Bartolomeo dared placing his hand on Zoro's arm "Are you okay?"  
  
Zoro winced and quietly went back to get some water "'Msorry 'bout what happened..." he muttered, more to himself than for Bartolomeo to hear.  
  
Bartolomeo resumed following him "I-it's fine, don't worry... I didn't mind."  
  
Of course he didn't, he was smitten with Zoro why would he mind? Zoro shook his head and pulled the fridge open, and when he was about to take a sip of water a horrible thought crossed his mind: where was Sanji? Had he seen them?  
  
Now that he really thought about it, from what he remembered while he was still sober, Sanji had never come down from the bathroom and even if Zoro had thought about checking on him he had never done it. What a shit friend, he had been.  
  
"Zoro, there's something I should tell you..." Bartolomeo's resolute tone didn't sound reassuring, but Zoro kept drinking "I've wanted to tell y–"  
  
"Oh shit!"  
  
That cry cut off Bartolomeo's sentence and startled Zoro, nearly making him choke on the water, so he quickly yanked the bottle away from his lips and looked over at the door.  
  
"You okay, Ace?" Bartolomeo asked before Zoro had the chance.  
  
Ace was standing in the doorway, pale as a ghost and looking completely horrified. Zoro's eyebrows knitted together as he squinted at his brother "You alright?"  
  
Ace nodded vigorously "I-I... Sure. I just didn't think you were here." he shrugged a shoulder and let out a small, nervous chuckle.  
  
"I'm gonna..." Ace jerked his head towards the living room, then moved towards it without adding anything else.  
  
Zoro and Bartolomeo exchanged a weirded out look, then Zoro rolled his tongue over his bottom lip. Well at least his brother had barged in at the right moment to prevent Bartolomeo from confessing anything awkward.  
  
"I gotta go check on him," he muttered, embarrassment hadn't still left him "sorry."  
  
"Uh, sure." Bartolomeo nodded and shifted his weight awkwardly from one leg to the other as Zoro walked past him.  
  
"Ace!" Zoro called out for him and saw him jump slightly "Whoa, you're like a scaredy cat today." he commented with a snort.  
  
Ace turned to look at him with the same frightened eyes as before "Must be the hangover." he shrugged a shoulder and avoided to look at Zoro in the eye.  
  
Zoro frowned "I see..."  
  
That behavior was too unlike Ace, hangover or not, he couldn't even bring himself to look at his own brother in the eyes and kept looking terrified.  
  
"We should..." Ace started, jabbing his thumb behind him "Uh, get Luffy and go home, maybe?"  
  
Zoro tilted his head slightly "Are you sure you're alright?"  
  
Ace let out another weird snigger "Of course? What's up with you?"  
  
Zoro snorted "Where have you been?"  
  
That last bit of color left on Ace's cheeks drained completely, and his eyes wandered around as he turned his back on Zoro completely to start in the direction of the living room again "In the bathroom, I needed to wash a bit you know?"  
  
Zoro blinked, completely taken aback by that weird behavior, still he played along "Yeah, well... You're worrying me."  
  
Ace waved a hand, still not turning to face Zoro "Don't be stupid, man. There's nothing to worry about."  
  
Zoro sighed "If you say so."  
  
They reached the spot on the floor next to the armchair where Luffy was sleeping, and Ace gently poked at the young boy's cheek.  
  
"You bum, wake up." Ace called out, but Luffy just curled up more on himself and groaned.  
  
"Leave him alone." Usopp slurred in his sleep, making Ace and Zoro scowl at him.  
  
"How can he do that?" Zoro asked, and Ace shrugged in response.  
  
"I think we should just carry him out, he's never gonna wake up." Ace sighed and bent further down to pick his little brother up.  
  
A chill ran down Zoro's spine as Ace's words reminded him of Bartolomeo's, and he couldn't help but glance over his shoulder to catch Barto staring at him from afar, then quickly walking over to Bonney when he realized that Zoro had seen him.  
  
"Alright, let's go." Ace said, and he was just about to lift up Luffy in his arms when Usopp farted nearly in his face "God fucking damn it, Usopp!" he growled, and heard Luffy snicker softly in his arms "So you're awake?"  
  
No answer, just a soft snoring.  
  
Zoro laughed and shook his head "I'll get our coats." then he bit his lower lip and looked over at Ace "Hey, have you seen the Cook?"  
  
Ace nearly dropped Luffy "W-what? Why?"  
  
Zoro widened his eyes "Don't make him fall!" he chastised Ace, then let out a shaky sigh of relief "Man, you should quit drinking if it has this effect on you."  
  
Ace huffed "I couldn't fuckin' agree more..." he muttered as he readjusted Luffy in his arms.  
  
"So?" Zoro arched an eyebrow, still expecting an answer from Ace.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"Did you see him?"  
  
Ace shrugged a shoulder "He went home while I was going to the bathroom."  
  
Zoro pressed his lips together and nodded. So he had probably seen him sleeping with Bartolomeo on the couch, brilliant. He wanted to smash his head into a wall.  
  
"Get the coats?" Ace asked in a somewhat high tone.  
  
Zoro perked up and nodded, doing as he was told.  
  
After he covered Luffy with his coat and helped Ace with wearing his,

he shrugged on his own and glanced over to Franky who was still asleep, then watched as Bartolomeo nearly got his ass kicked for waking Bonney up.  
  
Yes, it was definitely time to leave that party, and quickly too. He didn't know what Sanji thought, maybe he was going to text or call him later. Maybe.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …....OOPSIE DAISY! I've had people telling me that they were hoping for a bit of AceSan but that at this point it wasn't going to happen, and I couldn't help but screaming internally while thinking about how the story was going to develop.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the worst, I know. I haven't updated this story in a lifetime, this just gets worse and worse as the chapters go on, and after the events of chapter 12 I left you all hanging for months, basically, and I'm so so so so sorry about it! I feel like shit! But I hope this chapter will make it up to you. The holidays didn't exactly help me write, they actually kept me busier than regular days, and all my good will flew out of the window. I know I've said it before, but as things get harder for the characters it also gets harder for me to get into the right mindset to write out their feelings. I also always end up adding a shit ton of scenes that weren't really supposed to happen, but I hope you'll enjoy them all anyway! 
> 
> I thank each and everyone of you who chose to put up with me and will still read this story, even when the chapters come out so late! You're all beautiful! I don't think I'd still write all of this if it weren't for you! And of course, last but absolutely not least, thank to my girlfriend for always pushing me to continue, for helping me when I'm stuck and I don't know how to go ahead.
> 
> Now enough of this blabbering, let's get down to the narrating business!

Zoro had never seen his older brother smoke so much, Ace smoked very rarely and when he did it was mainly when he was with their friends, but since when they had stepped inside their house Ace had began to light up one cigarette after the other.  
  
Zoro watched as Ace lit up the fifth – or was it the sixth? – cigarette of the day while he changed the strings on his Gibson. He had somewhat given up asking him what was wrong, since Ace would reply with a nervous chuckle and assure that he was absolutely fine.  
  
The ride back home had been terrible, since Ace drove recklessly and with his mind constantly somewhere else, Zoro had to steer the car back on the right path himself to keep them from running up a sidewalk or crash into something. Still Ace blamed it on being hungover and exhausted, and even if Zoro was trying to juice a real answer from him Ace wouldn't explain further.  
  
Zoro believed him, or wanted to believe him, so he dropped the subject, but as soon as Ace had whipped out a packet of cigarettes Zoro knew that something was definitely up.  
  
"Dude, what's with the sudden crave for nicotine?" Zoro gave in as he fanned off the smoke that had reached his face.  
  
Ace shrugged a shoulder but didn't lift his eyes from his guitar "Dunno, I just need it in my system."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Whatever." he was just back to watching Luffy play Dragon Age when Zoro heard a snap and a loud curse.  
  
"Someone's broken a string." Luffy commented with his eyes fixed on the TV screen as he played, making Zoro snort.  
  
"Yeah, thank you for filling me in! I hadn't noticed!" Ace barked out.  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow as he glowered at his older brother "Whoa there, touchy."  
  
Ace shook his head and took a big drag of tobacco before picking up another string. He was tense, and even if he put a lot of effort and precision in his work he was likely to mess up again. Zoro didn't want to bug him any further, he seemed way too unnerved to be forced to speak, so he thought he'd let it go for a while.  
  
Zoro slouched on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table, he was lucky enough that his parents were out or Mihawk would have severed his ankles. His eyes were focused on the TV as Luffy kept playing, but he wasn't really paying attention as his mind wandered off to what he remembered from the night before.  
  
As the hangover tapered off, Zoro's thoughts started going wild and his chest tightened as he replayed the moments he'd spent with Sanji during the party. Regret had began to spread through him, but at the same time he knew that satisfying Sanji's requests wasn't right, not while being intoxicated. Still Zoro wondered if Sanji's kisses were only the result of his bender or if there was an actual meaning behind them.  
  
He couldn't think like that, though, Zoro knew too well how much Sanji liked sex and also knew that in normal circumstances Sanji would never try anything like that with him. But then again, lately Sanji's behavior had started changing drastically, and if Zoro couldn't understand what was going on in that devilish mind of his before, he sure as hell had no idea what was happening recently.  
  
Zoro instinctively pressed his hand against his cellphone inside the pocket of his jeans, feeling its silhouette through the rough fabric, he pulled it out and unlocked the screen only to find himself staring at a picture of a wolf that he had set as a background. He selected the shortcut to his chat with Sanji and hovered the keyboard with his thumb, he knew there wasn't much to ask and that the message he should have typed up was quite simple, still he hesitated and looked over at Ace.  
  
His brother was still struggling with the strings, but he seemed like he was finally winning the fight as he fixed the last one and proceeded to cut off the extra bits. Zoro pulled at his tongue piercing with his teeth and told himself that if Ace could manage to successfully change his guitar strings in his stressed out state, he could definitely text Sanji.  
  
 _'hey how are you doing? im sorry i didnt check on you last night and im sending this pretty late. i just hope youre ok.'_  
  
Zoro stared down at the message he had just written. He would have wanted to add so many other questions, he wanted to know if Sanji remembered anything they did at all, how he felt about it, but Zoro wasn't like that, it was a lot easier to pretend like nothing had happened and just carry on with his life. Zoro knew that acting like that was destroying him bit by bit, but that was the only thing he could do.  
  
He hit the send button and pushed the phone back inside his pocket.  
  
"I'm hungry..." Luffy whined all of a sudden, catching both his brothers' attention.  
  
"That's brand new information." Ace commented as he set the guitar back inside its case and stood up, stretching out his arms and back.  
  
"Why are you so damn rude today?" Luffy growled as he paused the game and turned to glower at Ace.  
  
Zoro's eyebrows rose and he glanced over at Ace, Luffy had a point, Ace was being a little too surly for his taste, especially with Luffy who had done nothing wrong to him.  
  
Ace scoffed "I'm not rude!" he picked up his guitar and turned on his heels to head upstairs.  
  
"You're being rude right now!" Luffy barked "Why are you leaving like this?"  
  
Zoro sighed and stood up from the couch "Ignore him," he started, and Luffy looked up at him "how about we go get McDonald's?" he smirked. He could use the distraction of getting out of the house, and Luffy's enormous grin was one of the most rewarding things ever.  
  
"You're the best brother ever!" Luffy cried out as he launched himself at Zoro.  
  
"I heard that!" Ace's voice came from the top of the stairs.

"Well you suck today, you can't be a great brother!" Luffy retorted as he moved to grab his own coat from the rack, then picked Zoro's and handed it to him.  
  
"Thanks." Zoro mumbled as he was too busy trying to hold back his laughter because of Luffy's words.  
  
"I too have bad days," Ace grunted as he appeared again on the staircase "Can't be perfect all damn time."  
  
Zoro arched a brow as he watched Ace slowly stepping downstairs, he was just about to say something but Luffy's temper was a lot quicker.  
  
"You know who you sound like?" Luffy asked, without really waiting for an answer "Sanji. You're being just as much of a pain in the ass."  
  
Zoro widened his eyes and glanced at Luffy. It was a rare sight to see Luffy so angry, but Zoro knew how much he disliked disrespectfulness. What struck him the most though, was Luffy's comparison with Sanji.  
  
"Did he bite you? Or he just rubbed it all over you?" Luffy went on, and as soon as he spoke Zoro heard a crack and a bang, and as soon as he whipped his head in the direction of Ace he saw him sitting on one of the lowest stairs.  
  
"Fuck! Ow!" Ace cried as he held his lower back.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and started in Ace's direction "You fell down the stairs?"  
  
"Really?" Ace moaned "I hadn't noticed!"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes as he helped his brother up "If you're done being grouchy as fuck you could come with us?"  
  
Ace got back on his feet, still rubbing his sore lower back, and grimaced when he heard Zoro's words "N-nah... I–" he shook his head "I'm gonna stay here. I can use some alone time."  
  
Zoro's eyebrows shot up at the reply "So we're being a bother, huh?"  
  
"Ruuuuuude..." Luffy chanted from behind them, but Zoro ignored him.  
  
Ace scoffed and dropped his head in defeat "I did not say that! I just–" he took a step back on the stairs "I need to rest, okay?" he grasped the handrail, then shot an apologetic smile past Zoro's shoulder "Forgive me, baby bro."  
  
Zoro turned to look at Luffy, the youngest of the brothers was looking down at the floor, he gave a shrug "I guess," he lifted his eyes back on Ace "don't make us worry too much." his tone had definitely turned softer and the anger was almost completely drained from his voice.  
  
"I'll try my best."  
  
Zoro looked back at Ace and the awful pallor was only now noticing "Dude, are you sure you're not sick?" his eyebrows knitted together in concern.  
  
Ace blinked, almost in confusion, then hunched his shoulders "I told you I need to..." he flailed his hand in the direction of the top story of the house "Lay down and rest."  
  
Zoro pursed his lips and nodded "Yeah, you do that."  
  
Luffy was suddenly beside Zoro, looking every bit as concerned as him "We'll bring you something good from McDonald's! It'll make you feel better."  
  
Ace cracked a smile and he couldn't help but reach out to ruffle Luffy's hair. Zoro perfectly knew how that felt like, even though Luffy was practically and adult now, they couldn't help but forever seeing him as their baby brother. For once Luffy wasn't even complaining, he just let Ace's fingers mess his hair with the same worried expression.  
  
"Sure, bring me something," Ace paused, clearly biting back a laugh as he chewed on his lower lip "if you don't get too lost to find your way back home."  
  
Zoro scoffed "Oh fuck you!"  
  
Ace laughed a genuine laugh for the first time that day.  
  
"We will do just fine!" Luffy groaned as he folded his arms across his chest.  
  
"...plus we do have GPS on our phones." Zoro nodded, even though he lacked the confidence to make that statement.  
  
Ace laughed even harder "We all know you guys get lost even with a navigator!"  
  
Luffy and Zoro exchanged exasperated looks, then turned around to leave the house together while Ace kept cackling at them from the stairs.

 

 

 

* * * 

 

 

 

Well at least they had managed to make him laugh, it was definitely a good thing since he had been awfully weird and unmanageable all day.  
  
Zoro adjusted the collar of his coat and watched as Luffy whipped out his phone and began to tap away on the screen "You're not looking for directions, are you?" he quirked up an eyebrow "We're literally a few blocks away from McDonald's."  
  
Luffy snorted "What? No, of course not!" he shook his head, then licked his lips "It's actually a text from Barto," he furrowed his eyebrows "he was asking me if you were alright. Did anything happen?"  
  
Zoro suddenly tensed up. Why wasn't he texting him directly? "Huh? He messaged you only to ask that?" he inquired as he started off in what he was firmly convinced was the right direction to reach the fast-food restaurant.  
  
Luffy cleared his throat, not even moving a muscle "No, we were just chatting, and Zoro..."  
  
Zoro stopped in his tracks "What?"  
  
Luffy licked his lips "I'm pretty sure you're heading towards Baratie, McDonald's the other way." he said as he jabbed a thumb in the right direction.  
  
Zoro's eyes widened and his jaw tightened, at the same time he felt his cheekbones and ears heating up "I-I'm not–" he groaned "That's out of habit! You perfectly know the gym is this way, too!" he muttered as he started to walk in the direction that Luffy was pointing out.  
  
Luffy sniggered "Yeah, yeah, alright." he grinned and started to walk beside his brother "So what's the deal with Bartolomeo, huh?"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "There's no deal, and I'm pretty sure he can ask me how I am doing himself, he's got my number." he said casually. He really didn't feel like speaking about nor _with_ Bartolomeo, it would have been quite awkward, especially since Zoro was sure that he'd been about to drop a bomb, back at Franky's.  
  
Luffy pouted, stuffing one hand inside his pocket and typing up a reply with the other one "He seemed worried, and he said he didn't want to bug you." he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Of course. That sounded exactly like him. Zoro let out a sigh and looked ahead "I forgot to say bye to him because Ace was already being odd and we were leaving." he shrugged, avoiding to add anything else, the last thing he needed was Luffy knowing about Bartolomeo having a raging crush on Zoro. Who was he kidding though? His brother was smart enough to have noticed and figured it out himself – still it was worth a try.  
  
Luffy raised his eyebrows "Ah, he did mention that," he glanced up at Zoro "so you think he's just worrying about that?"  
  
There he went.

Zoro shrugged "Dunno. I'm not inside his head."  
  
Luffy's lips curled slightly as he tipped his head to the side "You should text him."  
  
Zoro stared down blankly at Luffy "How about I don't?"  
  
Luffy rolled his eyes at him, and in that exact moment Zoro's phone vibrated in his pocket. Now... That could be anyone, but two specific people suddenly popped into Zoro's agitated mind.  
  
Zoro fished out his phone from his pocket, holding his breath as he unlocked the screen to reveal who was the sender of the message.  
  
"Is it Barto?" Luffy asked, curiosity painted all over his grinning face.  
  
Zoro's brow shot up when he saw the name, it was none of the two people he had thought of but it was still good. "Close enough," Zoro mumbled as he went to read the text "it's his brother."  
  
Luffy frowned "Kidd?"  
  
Zoro nodded with a hum.  
  
 _'hey man, sorry for not coming to the party, i'll apologize to vivi in person when i'll get the chance. trafalgar and i were about to kill each other so we thought it best not to come ruin the fun. btw i wanted to tell you that we have booked the rest of the tour dates and in three days from today we'll do our first gig out of town.'_

Zoro scoffed and shook his head "I'd like to know why these guys can't warn us more than three days before a gig!"  
  
"Why? We have a new date?" Luffy asked excited as he bumped his shoulder into Zoro's to get close to him as fast as possible and read the text directly from his phone. "Holy shit! Three days from now?"  
  
Zoro sighed "Yeah, I hope we can all take the day off and shit."  
  
Luffy laughed long and hard, squeezing his eyes shut "You idiot! You think the others wouldn't immediately drop everything to do a show out of town?"  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes at his brother's constant positivity "I guess?"  
  
Luffy slapped him on the back "Cheer up! This is great news!"  
  
"I know it is! I'm excited!" Zoro retorted "I just don't want them to always tell us at the last minute!"  
  
Bands usually schedule and plan their entire tour ahead, this thing with Freakshow telling them only a couple days in advance was getting definitely annoying. If they wanted to become professionals they needed to at least start acting like it!  
  
Luffy shrugged "Then tell 'em."  
  
Zoro was already typing his reply while his brother spoke "That's the plan."  
  
 _'its ok, i hope things are better now. btw that's really cool, but isn't there a complete list of the dates or something? it'd be a lot better to know them ahead.'_  
  
He tapped the send button, then pocketed his phone.  
  
"Uh... I don't think this is the right place." Luffy stopped in his tracks and looked around.  
  
Zoro scrunched his nose "What?" he finally looked ahead and saw the damn dojo that their family owned, right in front of them. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" he cried out, incredulous.  
  
Luffy bursted out laughing "How do we even fuck up so bad?!"  
  
Zoro dropped his head "Alright, set the GPS on your phone."  
  
Luffy obliged, but didn't stop laughing.  
  


  


 

 * * *

  


 

  
  
Of course it took them a ridiculous amount of time to both arrive to McDonald's and get back home, but it had felt good to Zoro to spend some time alone with Luffy, they didn't do it that often, and the younger boy had been pretty vocal about it during their fast-food adventure.  
  
In the meantime Zoro had also continued his little chat with Kidd, and he had finally given Zoro the entire schedule for their brief but intense tour. Zoro had made sure to share the great news and information with the rest of the extremely excited Crows, and of course the only one who didn't answer was Sanji. Even Ace had replied by being both thrilled and worried because his brothers still hadn't got back, and the damn Cook was as quiet as the grave.  
  
They were just about to finally arrive to their house, hands loaded with an impossible amount of junk food bags, when Luffy shot this intense look at Zoro that reminded him so much of Shanks, and that made him scowl deeply.  
  
"W-what?" Zoro asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.  
  
"You're awfully quiet, and when you speak you barely say more than two words," Luffy started "what's goin' on?"  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Nothing, I'm just tired as hell."  
  
"Bullshit." Luffy grunted, almost a second before Zoro had actually finished uttering his answer "It's because of Sanji, right?"  
  
Zoro groaned, tipping his head back "Stop with this thing, okay?"  
  
"Look, I know things are being weird between you guys,"Luffy started, and Zoro stared at him bewildered "I'm not stupid, I have eyes. Just because I don't care about romance and sex it doesn't mean I don't understand what's going on."  
  
Zoro actually had to stop walking as he kept staring at Luffy, then his gaze fell to the ground in mild embarrassment.  
  
Luffy stopped too, so that he could go on speaking "I know, you don't want people to think that you're obsessed with him and I'm not saying that."  
  
"Everyone probably thinks I'm pathetic, actually." Zoro cut in, still not looking at his brother.  
  
"No, I think you're actually very brave and maybe too good with someone who sometimes likes to step all over you."  
  
Zoro's head snapped up at those words "I don't let anyone do that."  
  
Luffy shrugged a shoulder "I know that," then he tilted his head slightly to the side "still Sanji _does_ step all over your feelings, sometimes."  
  
Zoro's nostrils flared. He couldn't exactly say it wasn't true, Sanji could be a complete asshole when he wanted, but Zoro too could be like that.  
  
"You know why he does it, though?" Luffy asked, and Zoro's confused expression was enough of a cue to go on speaking "Because he needs to grow up. And because he doesn't know how you fucking feel."  
  
Zoro opened his mouth to say something in return, but Luffy was already stalking off in the direction of the house.

Zoro couldn't believe the turn taken by that talk, he didn't expect to be scolded by his younger brother like that but he couldn't really blame him for those words. He was right, even if Sanji could have read the signs he still knew nothing for sure because Zoro never told him. It wasn't exactly like Zoro was complaining about that either, but even if he did come clean he couldn't see anything positive happening.  
  
Luffy was clearly suggesting it was time to confess and let it all out, but at what cost? Losing Sanji for good? Making him run away? Zoro still thought that it was better to at least have him as his best friend than not having him at all, with all the ache it could cause Zoro. He knew it was stupid, but it was a decision he had made a long time ago and he wasn't going to change his mind – not yet, at least.  
  
Zoro still had his mouth slacked open, somewhat dumbfounded as they were about to step back into their house, when his cellphone vibrated against his side. Zoro held both paper bags with his left hand and pulled out the mobile with the right one. He unlocked the screen right away, thinking it could have been either Eustass adding something about the tour, or one of the Crows writing on their group chat, so when Zoro realized it was actually Sanji he nearly tripped over one of the few steps of the front porch.  
  
 _'yo, sorry i only now caught a breath, zeff's thrown me into the kitchen as soon as he saw my car. its ok, i puked my soul out and then went to sleep.'_  
  
Zoro heaved out a long, drawn out sigh, his nerves finally relaxing and his stomach loosening as a sense of mild bliss and calm finally washed over him. He knew it didn't mean anything more than that, he knew there were still untold things, but at least he'd answered to him and Zoro knew he hadn't crashed his stupid head in a car accident.  
  
 _'as long as you're fine its all good'_ Zoro typed up with his right thumb alone.  
  
"You gonna come?" Luffy's voice reached him in a dream-like state, bringing him back to a reality he had momentarily forgotten.  
  
Zoro's head snapped up "Uh, yeah sure." he gave a quick nod, then locked the screen of his phone – without exiting his convo with Sanji – and pushed it back into the pocket of his jeans.  
  
"We're hooooome!" Luffy called out as soon as he walked past the threshold.  
  
Zoro licked his lips and stepped inside the house, scraping his boots on the mat and pushing the door shut.  
  
"About damn time!" Ace's voice came from upstairs, hoarse and broken, making Zoro scowl. "I thought you were never coming back!" he shouted again as he began to get closer from upstairs.  
  
Zoro sighed and set the bags on the floor in order to take off his coat, then moved to the kitchen to start placing the food on the table. An outsider would have probably thought they were about to feed either a football team or a small army, but it was clear that the three of them could consume a ridiculous amount of food, especially after a bender.  
  
Zoro shut out everything surrounding him again and grabbed his phone again to resume writing his text.  
  
 _'as long as you're fine its all good'_ he stared at those words long enough for them to start looking weird, then decided to snap a photo of part of the food they were about to feast on. He sent the photo, then added _'when the cats away...'_ as a caption and slipped the phone back inside his pocket.  
  
"I can't believe you got lost on your way to McDonald's, you guys are shit." Ace commented in an incredulous tone.  
  
"We were very busy reading about work, alright?" Luffy replied, then dropped the bags next to Zoro's.  
  
Ace snorted and started to rummage through the bags "It's all fucking cold!"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow, only now noticing the dark circles underneath Ace's slightly reddened eyes.  
  
"It's still good!" Luffy cut in, then grabbed one of his burgers and glowered at it "We could always slam some stuff into the microwave."  
  
Ace shrugged and picked up a french fry "A slice of ice." he muttered as he twirled the fry around.  
  
"Alright, alright!" Luffy growled and snatched the box of fries from Ace's hands and put them inside the microwave along with the others.  
  
"Not sure that's gonna help." Ace grimaced.  
  
Zoro didn't want to start bugging Ace again, he literally had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything, but Ace looked terrible and he couldn't really help being worried.  
  
"It's Smoker, isn't it?" Zoro blurted out all of a sudden, and both Luffy and Ace turned their heads towards him.  
  
"W-what?" Ace asked, his voice trembling.  
  
"If you're like this, is it because of him?" Zoro tried to explain himself better "He never even called. Or did he?"  
  
Ace's mouth opened and closed without a sound, his expression was unreadable, but it clearly irradiated pain and helplessness.  
  
"I know I'm not one to talk, but–" Zoro shrugged a shoulder "It's alright to talk to us and vent, just don't take out your anger the wrong way, alright?" he clapped a hand on Ace's shoulder.  
  
"Alright..." Ace breathed out, his lower lip quivered so he tucked it between his teeth.  
  
Zoro gave Ace's shoulder a squeeze "Let's just eat now, huh?"  
  
"You'll feel better after eating." Luffy chimed in before Zoro could actually say the same thing.  
  
Ace snorted "Even if it's all cold?"  
  
Luffy rolled his eyes, making both his brothers laugh.

The three brothers ate, chatted and laughed like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow, all the weight on Zoro's heart was forgotten for the time being, he felt light and blessed to have Ace and Luffy in his life, all it took for him to feel better was looking at their smiles and the world felt a little less cruel.  
  
A small battle fired up as they joked around, french fries flew all around and a couple ice cubes slipped in places where they definitely didn't belong, causing screeching and a few punches to be thrown. It was right when Luffy was flinging a chicken nugget at Ace that Mihawk appeared by the threshold and Ace ducked right on time for the nugget to hit Mihawk square in the nose.  
  
Zoro froze, a horrified expression plastered on his face, Luffy's smile faded away and Ace furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, since he hadn't noticed their father being behind him.  
  
"What's with the shocked faces, guys?" Ace blinked under knitted eyebrows, then it dawned on him and he perked up as terror warped his features. "Don't tell me..."  
  
Luffy's lips pressed together into a thin line and his eyes widened comically as he slowly nodded his head.  
  
"What's going on, here?" Shanks' voice came from behind Mihawk as he peeked over his husband's shoulder "What the hell happened here?!" he growled.  
  
Zoro bit his lower lip as he took a look around the kitchen. There were french fries everywhere, even on the chandelier, there were a couple on top of the fridge, and the chicken nugget that had collided with Mihawk's face lied by the man's boots.  
  
"I'll give you twenty minutes–" Mihawk started, his tone low and threatening "let's say fifteen, to clean up this mess. If this kitchen isn't perfectly tidy I'll personally kick all of your sorry behinds." he dramatically turned on his heels and left the kitchen in silence.  
  
Shanks furrowed his eyebrows as he followed his husband with his eyes, then looked back at his sons "...what was that about?"  
  
"Luffy accidentally flung a chicken nugget at his face." Zoro explained briefly.  
  
Shanks' eyes widened and he had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep himself from bursting out into a thunderous laugh, still a few stray tears streamed down his face. The brothers exchanged a confused look, then stood up to start cleaning the kitchen.  
  
"I-I can't believe I missed that!" Shanks broke into laughter, unable to contain it.  
  
Ace arched an eyebrow as he watched his father laugh his ass off "I thought you were angry about all this mess."  
  
Shanks giggle-snorted, looking at Ace with an eye squeezed shut as he tried to dry off his tears "I-I am... But Mihawk being hit in the face with a chicken nugget is too much!"  
  
Luffy couldn't help but start laughing as well, and now that Zoro thought back on Mihawk's stoic expression as the piece of junk food bounced off his nose, the scene had been indeed hysterical, and that image alone served to throw him into the same state that Luffy and Shanks were in.  
  
Ace was watching the three man dying in front of him with an unimpressed look on his face, and walked off in the direction of the broom to start cleaning up the kitchen "I value my life too much to roll on the floor with you idiots."  
  
And of course, Ace's reaction only made everyone laugh harder.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Willing or not, the boys had to stop laughing to help Ace out, if they really did care about keeping their head firmly attached to their necks. Shanks lent them a hand too, unable to be a severe father like the majority of times, even though every now and then he needed to stop as he fell back into a sniggering fit because he thought about Mihawk and the damn nugget again.  
  
Once the mess had been settled, Zoro fished his cellphone out of his pocket to find about forty or so texts in his notifications section.  
  
"What the–" he scowled down at the screen as if it had insulted him, and when he swiped his finger down he realized that not only Sanji had replied to him, but he had also probably acknowledged the tour news on the group chat, and the others had replied to him. He was just about to tap on the Crows chat when he realized that one of the names in the notifications had nothing to do with his friends – Bartolomeo had texted him, eventually.  
  
Zoro thought about that morning, about how Bartolomeo had told him that if they were sleeping together on the couch it was because Zoro had drunkenly insisted on it. He couldn't recall what had really happened, but he figured that after arguing with Sanji and drinking his face off, anything could have been possible. Then his thoughts went back to their moment in Franky's kitchen, to how Bartolomeo had looked absolutely resolute and ready to confess something – Zoro could definitely guess what the great revelation was going to be, and he didn't wish to hear or read about it soon. He sincerely hoped that Bartolomeo wasn't going to resume their conversation, because he didn't have the will, nor the mental stability to deal with it.  
  
He could hear his brothers and Shanks talk to each other, he had no idea what the subject was, because his brain had simmered their loud voices down to just mere background noises. Zoro thought that if Sanji was really in the decent mood he seemed to be, then maybe he should have read Barto's text first, so that he could read something presumably more relaxing.  
  
While he pondered how to act, the screen of the cellphone had turned off, so Zoro had to unlock it all over again in order to select Bartolomeo's text. He hoped it wasn't one of those apologetic messages, but then again this time Barto had managed not to piss him off – apart from the whole being curled together on the sofa thing.  
  
 _'hey there, how are you doin? my brother told me about the tour dates, pretty cool huh? i cant wait!'_ Zoro frowned his lips and arched up an eyebrow, so far so good. He carried on reading. _'btw i hope i didnt scare you off this morning, but at one point i guess im gonna have to pick back up the conversation that ace interrupted. have a good rest of the evening.'_  
  
Zoro reread the text a couple of times and muttered _'have a good rest of the evening'_ under his breath a few times before nearly flinging the phone at the wall. Since when people go around arming time bombs and then wish you a good evening? Thank God for Ace bursting into the kitchen just in time, that morning.  
  
He refused to reply, not right away at least, his nerves felt like they were going to snap at any moment, so he decided it was probably better to check the Crows chat to cool down a bit. Sanji had the same reaction as Zoro about the tour dates, he admitted how relieved he was that finally Eustass was done informing them about every single gig they were supposed to play just a couple days in advance, and the thing obviously made Zoro smirk. The rest of the conversation was basically everyone, except for Zoro and his brothers, talking about how pumped they were, or suggesting a few changes for the setlist. At one point they had even spoken about seeing each other at Franky's the day after for rehearsals, and apparently they were all waiting for the three brothers to confirm or just say anything at all.  
  
Zoro didn't even need to ask Luffy and Ace if it was alright for them to practice the day after, he knew they would just agree, so he quickly typed up a positive answer, also apologizing for not getting back at them for hours. Yes, that was a way more relaxed topic.  
  
Now it was Sanji's turn. Zoro opened their chat and the first thing he saw was a photo of a ridiculous amount of extremely fancy and delicious looking courses, with a caption that read.  
  
 _'you disgusting pigs, why are you eating all that shit? this is real food, not that McShitty crap. i wanna kick you all in the teeth.'_

Zoro snorted at the caption. Now that he thought about it he and the others had been missing from Baratie for a very long time. It was a fancy restaurant and demanded a certain dresscode at time (thing that Zoro absolutely abhorred) but when it came to Sanji's friends Zeff would always make an exception. For that matter, he hadn't even seen Sanji's old man for half a lifetime or something, not that he missed him, but still it proved how long it had been since they had visited the Baratie.  
  
As those thoughts swam through his head, Zoro's fingertips moved on their own to form a reply.  
  
 _'stfu it might be junk but its still good, and cheap. that shit you cooked looks pretty good too'_ he smirked down at what he was typing, he knew Sanji hated it when Zoro half-heartedly commented on his cooking skills _'i havent eaten any of your food in ages, literally.'_  
  
Sanji and Zoro had dropped their lunch breaks ritual and he had never liked it, he knew things were a bit rough for Sanji both at work and home, and with all the small quarrels and misunderstandings that had aggravated how things were going between them, they had just kind of fallen out of habit. Zoro missed the company, missed the food and even the bantering, but then memories from the night before resurfaced and made him nervous all over again.  
  
There was no forgetting about Sanji kissing him in front of their intoxicated friends, just like he couldn't forget how he had been dragged to a more private corner of the house to partly satisfy a primal need that resided deep inside him. He remembered the soft lips, the rough teeth, the eager fingers and God... Did he remember the tension in both their pelvic areas. There was so much desire oozing from them, bleeding into one another as they shared those intimate touches that Zoro had always longer for but had always been too terrified to get.  
  
He felt himself stir inside the crotch of his pants, so he shook his head as if it would help him erase all those mental images and ghosts of a real, tangible feeling.  
  
"You here with us?"  
  
A deep voice suddenly brought him back to reality. Oh God, he had been daydreaming and getting an half hard-on while being in the same room as his family! What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't know whether his entire face had flushed a deep shade of crimson in utter shame, or if his blood had completely drained, leaving him as pale as a ghost from sheer horror.  
  
"Zoro?" Luffy asked, tilting his head slightly.  
  
"Is he going to faint?" Shanks asked.  
  
Zoro didn't say anything, he pushed the phone into one of his pockets and just left the kitchen in a haste, ignoring Mihawk's deep scowl as he stormed through the living room and upstairs. He needed to calm the fuck down, he had gone from laughing with his family and joking around with Sanji to having extremely realistic dreams of hardcore making out with the said cook. That had definitely escalated too quickly.  
  
He half jogged to his bedroom and sneaked inside it, throwing the door shut – probably a little too hard. He rested his back against it and tipped his head back, scrubbing his hands over his face in a desperate attempt to rub off all those clashing feelings.  
  
"Zoro, open up!" Ace's voice, accompanied by a few knocks, filtered from the other side of the door, slightly muffled by the thick layer of wood.  
  
Zoro's eyes rolled into the back of his skull, he seriously hoped that they would leave him alone but given the extremely theatrical fashion in which he had left, that was definitely a vain hope.  
  
"I'm fine Ace," Zoro sighed "really."  
  
"Just let me in, please!" Ace insisted, concern dripping from his tone.  
  
Zoro didn't answer and just hung his head, staying still for a few moments before finally moving away from the door and cracking it open. It was Ace's cue to get inside while Zoro went to take a seat on his bed.  
  
"Hey..." Ace pushed the door shut again, then stuffed both hands into the pocket of his jeans.  
  
"Hey." Zoro replied "You gonna stand there like an idiot?"  
  
Ace rolled his eyes and walked up to Zoro's desk and hitched himself up on it, the piece of furniture creaked under his weight and for a moment both brothers looked at it in disconcert, fearing that it might collapse on itself.  
  
"I didn't think you came here to demolish my room." Zoro kicked off his boots and stretched his back out until he felt a few cracks coming from his spine.  
  
Ace scoffed "I'll leave right away if you keep up this abuse."  
  
Zoro's eyebrows shot up "Says the one who's been untreatable for the entire day."  
  
Ace raised his hands in surrender "Alright, alright!" he heaved a sigh, then dropped his hands onto his thighs, crossing his ankles "What's going on?"

Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Nothing in particular." he sat into a lotus position and stared at a random spot on the floor.

Ace groaned as he threw his head back "C'mon Zoro, this is getting old," he looked at his brother again, stern and not about to buy anymore excuses.  
  
Zoro ran a hand over half of his face, heaving out a long sigh "Everything's getting old, lately, I just wish things ceased to exist at some point." he explained, leaning his elbows on his knees and hunching forward.  
  
Ace's eyebrow quirked up "What does that mean?"  
  
Zoro pursed his lips "I'm just tired," he began, his thumb running along his jawline and feeling the roughness of his regrowing stubble. "Tired of things left unsaid, tired of being toyed with, tired of..." he paused looking for words to describe concepts that he wasn't even sure about "I don't know," he shook his head "of my stupidity too, probably?"  
  
Ace's expression hardened up and his eyes darkened, he didn't meet Zoro's gaze and left it to wander around the room "Sanji?"  
  
Ace didn't even need to articulate a sentence, everyone was right, it was always about Sanji and it was getting old indeed. He felt like a complete idiot, with all his fears and weaknesses, he wasn't like that, he had always been strong and brave, but lately he felt like his feelings had completely taken over and were slowly crushing him.  
  
"I wish I could erase what I feel for him," Zoro began with a shrug "I wish I were just like he is with me, just a friend who doesn't get all worked up over making out in a dark corner of a house. Who can just shrug it off the next day like nothing has happened at all."  
  
Ace's eyes are quick to jump back on Zoro's, his eyebrows drawn together in the deepest of scowls "Wait, what?!"  
  
Zoro scoffed, a hollow smirk tugging at the corner of his lips "Last night he kissed me in front of Nami, Vivi and even fucking Bartolomeo," he paused to let out another scoff "because he was pissed drunk of course, then he dragged me out of the living room when I protested and I thought we were gonna fuck up against a wall."  
  
Ace's face looked surprisingly greyish when Zoro glanced at him, he was gripping the edge of the desk so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. All in all he looked like he was about to either throw up or pass out, if not both.  
  
"Are you okay?" Zoro asked, his eyed wide under his knitted eyebrows.  
  
Ace nodded quickly, then rubbed at his forehead "W-what happened then? Did you– did you stop?"  
  
Zoro spread his arms "What was I supposed to do? Of course I stopped!"  
  
"Y-yeah, of course..." Ace muttered with a nod, his gaze straying away from Zoro's eyes again.  
  
"Why is it always me, lately?" Zoro asked, dropping his hands onto the mattress "He's never been like that with me! It just drives me fucking insane!" his fist gripped the sheets, his teeth gritting as he glared down at his lap "And people keep making fun of me, and I probably deserve it, because only a fucking idiot would endure what I am enduring. I'm a hopeless dickhead."  
  
Ace shook his head "No!" he growled out, probably louder than he'd intended "Don't say that about yourself, you're... You're not an idiot!"  
  
When Zoro's gaze locked with his brother's again he saw the tears welling up into the corners of Ace eyes "Ace..." he breathed out.  
  
Ace pushed himself off the desk "I won't allow you to insult yourself like this, because you did _nothing_ wrong!" his voice sounded shaky and his hands were trembling as he towered over Zoro "You're respectful, and you're not hurting anyone except yourself! You're a great guy, Zoro. Don't put yourself down like this!"  
  
Zoro was going to say something, but Ace had already turned his back on him to leave the room. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to follow his brother, he just sat there, rooted to the bed and staring at the closed door while Ace's desperate and outraged tone rang in his ears over and over.

Zoro found himself oddly numb, unable to care for anything else that wasn't him, he wasn't going to chase after Ace to ask him what was wrong, he felt spent, drained, his whole day he had tried to be serene, caring about others, trying not to worry anyone and enduring Ace's horrible mood swings. He was exhausted now, weary of feelings and tolerating people's quirks, all he could think about was finding a way of meditating strong enough to render him immune to anything. Yes, he was going to ask Mihawk if they could work something out, something that would shield his heart and possibly never crack.  
  
Zoro tugged down the covers to slip inside his cozy bed, maybe he didn't posses a shield at the moment but he surely could count on the comfortable and somewhat reassuring cocoon of warmth that was his comforter. He curled on himself, tightening the covers around him and allowing his eyelids to fall shut, his body gradually becoming heavier with the weight of sleep, and his mind slowly relaxing in a pre-dreaming haze.  
  
Nothing could reach him, nothing could shake him awake, not even the buzzing of his cellphone still buried deep inside the pocket of his jeans. He let himself slide into a peaceful sleep, lulled by nothing but silence and a mind drained of all its thoughts.  
  
Zoro slipped into a dreamless slumber, it wasn't probably deep and he knew it was probably going to cause him a headache. He was half aware of the things happening around him, he couldn't hear the noises from the street but he still felt the vibration of his phone, and at a certain point during the evening he knew that Luffy had opened the door of his room to check on him. Luffy was the only one allowed to barge into Zoro's room like that, he wouldn't let anyone do so, especially not when he needed some alone time.  
  
His little brother's high pitch was enough to wake him up, even though he wasn't going to let him know he was awake. Luffy wasn't alone, or else he wouldn't be speaking to the backlit figure standing next to him. He couldn't quite make out the faces, especially not with poor lighting and having just regained consciousness, but he had heard the other guy's voice and had come to the quick conclusion that Usopp had been invited over.  
  
"He's just run away like that and burrowed himself in here, and hasn't come out since." Luffy was making a poor job at keeping his voice low, but it was no news.  
  
Zoro heard Usopp hum, then watched as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other "Have you considered the possibility that he's sick? Maybe he got the flu or something." there was a pause, and Zoro couldn't see how they were looking at each other, nor if they were glancing over at him.  
  
"He never gets sick," Luffy explained in a sigh "you should know that by now."  
  
"I do know that, but you guys are still human after all, even if you like to pretend the contrary."  
  
Wasn't Usopp painfully right? Zoro liked to think he was the monster everyone had always referred to him as, but the reality of things was that other than having a monstrous strength and a great will power, if you scrape that surface it's quite easy to make him bleed.  
  
"I wanna wake him up," Luffy began, his voice resoluteand his tone kind of lower "he needs to eat and feel better."  
  
Usopp let out a dramatic sigh "Luffy, leave the poor guy alone."  
  
Of course Luffy didn't listen, he rarely listened to anyone and always acted out of his own impulse, Usopp wasn't even done speaking that Luffy had jumped up on the bed, making Zoro groan low in the back of his throat.  
  
"Hey Zoro, are you sick?" Luffy asked, one of his hands resting on Zoro's forehead.  
  
"Yeah." Zoro muttered. It wasn't a real lie, he really wasn't feeling that well, not psychologically at least.  
  
"You should eat some dinner, then." Luffy started, getting more comfortable on the mattress. "Shanks made so many steaks! And Usopp is here too, he's staying the night."  
  
"Hey long nose." Zoro greeted him in a blank tone.  
  
Usopp scoffed, annoyed by Zoro's nickname "Hey Zoro." he knew better than calling Zoro some horrible nickname for revenge, though.  
  
"So?" Luffy asked, impatience practically oozing from him as he rocked back and forth in his seat.  
  
Zoro let out a long, drawn out sigh and rubbed at his eyes. Being slightly social and putting something inside his stomach wasn't exactly a terrible idea, especially the food part. "Alright, I'll come." he croaked out.  
  
"Yes! That's my Zoro!" Luffy exulted with a small laugh "Let's go then!"  
  
Zoro pushed himself up and thoroughly rubbed at his eyes, he could feel his head throb ever so slightly but he knew he could bear with it. He watched as Luffy's backlit figure thrust a hand out for Zoro to hold onto, and in that moment he seriously wondered where he would be if Luffy wasn't in his life. Zoro grabbed onto Luffy's hand and stood up, and for some reason he kind of felt part of his energy being suddenly replenished as he followed the two guys out of the room.  
  
He squeezed his eyes shut and used his hand as a shield against the artificial light that was so painful after staying in the dark for all that time, then remembered about his buzzing cellphone. Zoro automatically placed a hand over his pocket, feeling the shape of the mobile through the rough fabric, he didn't feel like chatting with anyone, especially not to Bartolomeo, he remembered he had texted Sanji, though, so maybe he had replied and it was probably better to read what he had to say.  
  
Zoro fished out the phone and unlocked the screen, to find four texts waiting to be opened. He sighed and checked the senders as he slowly followed Usopp and Luffy towards the staircase. Two were from Sanji, and the other two from Bartolomeo. Of course. Zoro rolled his eyes and opened the chat with Sanji, first.  
  
 _'i know i havent brought you lunch in forever and im sorry... dont think im not.'_  
  
Zoro's eyebrow quirked at that somewhat meagre answer, but it felt like it held more meaning and feeling than what it really looked like. Or maybe it was just Zoro's mind trying to read too much into Sanji's words as usual, trying to make everything bigger and more meaningful than it actually was. Zoro ignored his own thoughts and read on to the second message.  
  
 _'its a very odd period of my life, one of the oddest probably and im sorry if i act worse than usual, im just trying to ease the mess that i am and im probably hurting others in the process.'_  
  
Now that was a more interesting reply that made Zoro scowl down at the unclean screen. So there was something going on with Sanji, he had finally admitted that, but Zoro knew that if Sanji had been open enough to let Zoro know about it, then it probably wasn't the right time to pressure him into adding further details. It was a satisfying answer, for the time being, so Zoro typed up his answer right away.  
  
 _'we all got our awful moments, some are just worse and take longer to go away than others. but you know where to find me, shit cook. see you at practice tomorrow.'_  
  
He didn't linger too much into rereading his reply over and over and just sent it.

Doubt flooded in right away. Had he done the right thing by not asking something more? Should he had gone fishing for details? But after all he couldn't keep going mad over Sanji's quirks and whims, and definitely not in that delicate post-nap moment.  
  
He reminded about Bartolomeo's texts, he couldn't be bothered communicating with people verbally, let alone having to make his brain properly work to deal with Bartolomeo. Why all these uncomfortable things had to happen to Zoro? He started agreeing with Sanji's odd period of his life, Zoro began to seriously think that he was probably going through a definitely absurd period of his life.  
  
He forced himself to read the messages, ignoring Luffy and Usopp chatting as he trailed off behind them, he didn't have to reply if he didn't feel like, right?  
  
 _'i know i probably come across as obsessive and im driving myself up the wall just thinking about how much of a pain i can be most of the times, but im not usually like that, i promise... its just... i get so nervous and excited around u guys, i know i make a fool of myself constantly, but i just want u guys to like me even tho im terrible at it'_  
  
Zoro's expression softened while reading the first message, it was one of the calmest and probably most sincere messages that Bartolomeo had ever sent him up until that point. Yes, he was annoying and he indeed made a fool of himself quite easily, not to mention how much he had been able to antagonize Sanji and even push him to the brink of a breakdown. Bartolomeo was a peculiar human being, a very passionate one at that, and Zoro appreciated all the love he had for The Crows, yet he was starting to feel a little cornered by him lately, and even if Barto hadn't explicitly said anything yet, it was pretty clear what he was aiming for.  
  
Zoro went on with the next message as they had nearly reached the dining room.  
  
 _'i know i act the silliest when im around u, but u are still nice enough not to tell me to fuck off, i cant help acting like a fuckin idiot around u, i actually can barely function around u and i hope u will understand how much it actually means. i wont say anything anymore in this text cuz i wanna tell the rest face to face... if im gonna be able to do it, i will be so nervous. im done bothering u, see u soon.'_  
  
That was a declaration. Plain and simple. Zoro's guts were twitching painfully and a sick sense of anxiety pervaded his body. He didn't want that, he didn't want to hear it out loud. Zoro couldn't return those feelings and he knew perfectly how much it could hurt. Bartolomeo didn't deserve that, rejection can cut you open and let you bleed out, Zoro knew how it felt like, his wounds were small scars that could re-open way too easily, but he perfectly knew how deep and painful it would be if Sanji flat out told him that he wanted nothing to do with him anymore.  
  
He didn't know what to tell him, he didn't have a reply for those words, Bartolomeo had written clearly wearing his heart on his sleeve and Zoro couldn't be as sincere. Maybe Bartolomeo wasn't expecting an answer, he could be hoping for one, but Zoro had none. He burrowed his phone back into his pocket and took place next to Usopp at the table. He was fully aware that his family was going to bug him over being awfully quiet, but he only needed to endure that torture for a short while and then he could go back to sleep.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Zoro ended up replying to Bartolomeo the next morning, apologizing for the horrible delay and blaming it on feeling sick for most of the day. He knew he was blatantly lying, but it couldn't be helped. He still didn't know what to tell him in return, Zoro didn't feel the same, he probably couldn't write to Bartolomeo what he wanted to read, but he tried to come up with something decent and neutral.  
  
 _'hey barto, sorry for the very late answer, i havent been feeling well yesterday so i rested as much as i could. anyway, theres no reason to justify your behavior, you're you and you're made in your own unique way. you're a great fan and friend and we all treasure you, no matter how it could look like to you. it was a pleasure having you at the party. have a nice day, bud.'_  
  
Zoro knew it was probably too detached and too much from a collective perspective, but he couldn't lie, he couldn't let him believe something that wasn't true because it would have killed him.  
  
There had also been no reply from Sanji, and that had been enough to start off his day with a subtle feeling of annoyance and disappointment – but what did he expect, anyway? His last text to Sanji had been slim and kind of pathetic, knowing the Cook he had probably cursed at him multiple times and refused to answer.  
  
Zoro buried his cellphone deep inside his sports bag, glowering at the sandwich he had made for himself as he zipped it shut, then walked out of the house on his own, getting ready for a long day at work that would hopefully keep his mind very busy.  
  
All he needed was focusing completely on work and totally forget about whatever lied outside the walls of the gym. Zoro had nearly considered skipping lunch to train and avoid letting his thoughts wander, but he perfectly knew he needed to put fuel into his body if he wanted it to work, especially since he had to keep himself going until later that night for practice.

Zoro went to grab his sandwich from his bag into the changing room, ignoring the other men who were loosing their clothes for a shower, boasting about the girls they had fucked and their gym success in a tone way louder than necessary. Zoro couldn't stand them, so he just pulled on the black anorak he only broke out in the morning to go to work, then left the room to eat his lunch in the solitary quiet of the gym yard.  
  
He took a seat on the very bench he had always shared with Sanji and kicked a few stray pebbles before tearing off the film he had wrapped his sandwich with. He stared down bitterly at the mess of bread, tuna, cheese, pickles and tomatoes he had made that morning, but right when he had finally mustered up the courage to sink his teeth into it a voice coming from behind the bench stopped him.  
  
"Don't you dare eat that, you probably accidentally used expired ingredients or something, you stupid moss brain."  
  
A whiff of smoke surrounded Zoro right after, and when he turned around he saw him: blond hair pulled tightly into a ponytail apart for the bangs covering his right eye, a half burnt out cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, a huge scarf all wrapped around his neck to protect his precious throat and a coat tightening around his lean but athletic figure.  
  
"What? Cat ate your tongue?" Sanji asked in a monotone "Or was it your father who cut it off?"  
  
Zoro's stomach fluttered and for a moment he lost all interest in stuffing anything inside of it. He hadn't seen that coming, not at all, he couldn't help but stare at Sanji like he'd been just a vision or an hologram, something incorporeal that wasn't really there and he was probably just imagining it because his brain was that cruel.  
  
"Oi!" Sanji called out, this time louder as walked around the bench to snatch the awful sandwich from Zoro's hands thrusting a lunch box onto Zoro's lap "Did you smash your head somewhere and lost the ability to speak?" he went on as he wrapped the sandwich back with the torn film, not throwing it away.  
  
"I..." Zoro started, his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken in months. He was so taken aback by Sanji being there, it was the last thing he was expecting. Zoro cleared his throat and swept his fingers casually over the lid of the box, he couldn't believe he had brought him lunch after all that time. "Why are you here?" he asked at last, looking up at him.  
  
Sanji's cockiness vacillated, his silver tongue seemed knotted for a few moments and his eyes instantly dropped to the couple cracks on the concrete. "I'm a cook, ain't I?" he muttered, then peeked at Zoro from under his long lashes "Can't let you eat trash for much longer," he gave a quick one-shouldered shrug "you could poison yourself for all I know." by the time he finished speaking his voice was sounding stronger and more determined.  
  
Zoro didn't even try to bite back the lopsided smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips and crinkled his nose just a little bit. "Were you missing me?" he teased.  
  
Sanji's cheeks flushed just the lightest shade of red, and his face warped with anger at the same time "Shut the fuck up, Marimo!" he didn't spare Zoro's shin from one of his kicks "Just eat! I gotta head back to the Baratie already." he grumbled, burrowing half of his face into the voluminous scarf.  
  
Zoro felt a sudden rush of adrenaline running through his body as he watched the blond blush slightly. Making Sanji blush these days was a proper ordeal, and he couldn't believe it had taken Zoro so little to get that reaction from him. His smirk blossomed into a full grin that threatened to split his face in half "I knew you missed me." he sniggered, absolutely unfazed by the other kick to the shin he had earned.  
  
Sanji's gloved hands were balled into fists, squishing Zoro's sandwich in the process, and his entire body was visibly tense, his face redder than earlier "Fuck you! I told you to eat and possibly choke on your food!"  
  
Zoro laughed, tipping his head back. He was feeling good, exceptionally better than the day before. All he needed was to see Sanji standing there in front of him, caring and bringing him lunch like he had always done. He peeled off the lid of the lunch box and inhaled the warm steam irradiating from the Korean rice that Sanji had cooked up for him. It was one of Zoro's favorites.  
  
"Don't get too used to it," Sanji muttered "Bokkeumbap isn't exactly what you should be eating before going back to exercise." he added as he dropped the burnt out filter of a cigarette on the ground and stepped over it.  
  
"Well, it was indeed the last thing I expected to find, anyway." Zoro commented as he inspected the rice and poked it with the plastic fork that Sanji had included into the box. He lifted his eyes back on Sanji and caught him lighting up another cigarette. It was kind of odd for Sanji to bring him so many carbohydrates and one of Zoro's favorite recipes into the bargain. "Do I need to worry?" Zoro asked as an obvious joke, furrowing his eyebrows as he squinted up at the other man.  
  
Sanji's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, and the bare hand that was holding the lighter twitched ever so softly. "T'fuck are you talkin' about?" he snorted around the filter. He hesitated for a couple of moments before pocketing his treasured lighter "Just shove it into your mouth and get it over with." he exhaled a thin coil of smoke, then slipped his glove back on "I gotta go for real."  
  
Zoro noticed every small gesture, mentally recording every tiny reaction and classifying everything as somewhat suspicious, but in that moment he was too busy being happy over Sanji having popped by and bringing him one of his favorite dishes to really weigh body language. "Zeff's really draining the life out of you, huh?" Zoro asked as he scooped up some of the delicious smelling rice.  
  
Sanji let out a long, drawn out sigh "Where's the news, really?" he licked his chapped lips before sticking the cigarette back between them.  
  
Zoro shrugged his shoulders as he ate. He would have moaned and rolled his eyes back at the heavenly taste of the food, but he never complimented Sanji's cuisine too much. "See you tonight?" he limited himself to ask.  
  
Sanji tightened the coat around him "Of course, you all can't do shit without my wonderful voice."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Smoke a bit less, then."  
  
Sanji swatted Zoro over the head with his free hand "Bye." he moved around the bench quickly and without waiting for Zoro to say anything in return.  
  
Zoro turned to watch as Sanji disappeared around the corner, faster than Quicksilver. "Bye." he sighed to himself as he went back to eat the rest of his lunch.  
  
Maybe it hadn't been a long visit, but Zoro had appreciated it nonetheless. After the small exchange from the day before he definitely wasn't expecting that Sanji would have actually gone to bring him food. Now that Zoro thought harder about the messages from yesterday he froze up with his forkful of rice midair and his eyes widened. He hadn't even asked Sanji how he was doing, Sanji had clearly told him that he wasn't holding up so well lately and it had completely slipped his mind.  
  
"Shit." he breathed out as he turned around again, as if it could make up for anything. He dropped the fork inside the box and rested heavily back against the bench, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut as he mentally kicked himself.  
  
He actually had no idea if Sanji would have wanted to open up to Zoro in that moment, considering that he had also seemed to be in a hurry. Zoro considered texting him an apology, but then again it would have looked extremely stupid and it could have probably pissed off or upset Sanji, so no, it wasn't a good idea. Maybe he could have tried speaking to him in private that night or something, that could work.  
  
Zoro stuck his hand into the pocket of his anorak to look for his phone and check the time, but realized that he had left it buried into the bottom of his sports bag. He huffed and tried to finish off his rice as quickly as possible (thing that Sanji would have forbidden him to do, because eating too fast is unhealthy) to get back to work as soon as he could.

The tables had turned, Zoro wanted nothing more than for time to run as fast as possible and for the day to bleed into the evening quicker than ever. After spending that handful of minutes with Sanji he needed more, he wanted to speak with him again and try to understand what was troubling him so much.  
  
His emotions were prevailing over his reasoning, and there was a small voice in the back of his head that was reminding him of it. He knew he should have still been angry with Sanji for his newfound habit of violently making out with Zoro and then pretending like nothing had happened at all. He didn't know to which extent it was true that Sanji had no memory at all of their drunken shenanigans, and that bothered Zoro to no end, but in that moment all he wanted was seeing Sanji again, speaking to him, establish contact again. He had missed it so much and now every inch of him was craving for Sanji.  
  
Zoro distractedly checked his phone during the day, ignoring Bartolomeo's reply and only swapping texts with Ace and Luffy to make arrangements for later that night. Zoro already had his change of clothes so that he could go straight to Franky's after working at the dojo, so he would have met his brothers directly there.  
  


 

 

* * *   


 

 

  
  
The evening at the dojo was a quiet one, most of the students had stayed home either because of homework or because of the cold, rainy weather. Zoro went exceptionally easy on them, thing that came as a surprise to everyone, even Mihawk, who Zoro clearly spotted in a corner, watching them with a slightly more quizzical expression than his usual impassive look.  
  
Zoro didn't linger too much when tidying up the tatami, he put everything back quickly with the help of his students and went to change with the boys who apparently couldn't stop staring at him in bewilderment, as he stripped off his kendogi and pulled on his regular clothes. He didn't even give himself time to be amused by the looks he was receiving, because his mind was already set on meeting Sanji and doing band practice.  
  
When he was ready and had shouldered his bag, Zoro muttered a goodbye that was returned half-heartedly as he was already shutting the door behind him. On his way out he found his father standing in front of the main door, as solemn as a Greek statue of a deity.  
  
"What is it?" Zoro asked, his eyebrows pushing together in confusion "I was gonna say bye anyway, were you afraid I wouldn't?"  
  
Mihawk's left eyebrow quirked up and there was an almost imperceptible twitch in his upper lip. "Your mood is a lot different from last night." he commented in a monotone.  
  
Zoro blinked, even more puzzled than before "What?"  
  
Mihawk ignored the question and went on "Be careful." and with those words he moved away from the door and returned to his office.  
  
Zoro followed his father with his gaze, as confused as ever. He couldn't understand what exactly he was warning him from, but Zoro knew how much Mihawk loved being cryptic and creepy, so he just shook his head and blamed that brief and practically non-existent conversation to his father's oddity.  
  
Zoro checked the time on his phone to make sure that he had enough time to get to Franky's early, – not because he knew he was probably going to get lost on the way, that was absolutely not the case – then he lifted the hood of his sweater over his head and finally stepped out of the dojo.  
  
The icy wind cruelly whipped and stung at Zoro's face, and the rain falling diagonally drove him insane as it soaked his jeans and hood, dripping from his nose and chin. He wasn't going to let the weather ruin his mood, nor his resolution, his will and body were stronger than that, yet his horrible sense of direction was the thing that ticked him off and made him cuss like a sailor when he ended up on the same wrong route three times. Thank God he had left the dojo nearly two hours earlier than he was supposed to.  
  
One way or another, Zoro finally recognized the street where Franky's house was located, and automatically sped up in the direction of the house. The lights were on in the living room, which meant that he was obviously one of the first to get there, but he wasn't planning on getting inside, yet. He had a feeling that Sanji still hadn't arrived, so he climbed the few stairs of the front porch and took a seat on the top one. He placed the bag beside him, pulled down the drenched hood and ran vigorously his fingers through his wet hair a few times.  
  
"A wet Marimo, what a sight."  
  
Zoro's head suddenly whipped to his left, where the voice had come from, Sanji was sitting in the dark, on the bench pushed against the wall of Franky's house "What the fuck? Are you playing hide and seek?"  
  
A small laugh left Sanji's lips along with a greyish puff of smoke "Did I scare you, Marimo?" he stood up and stepped into the dim light of the streetlamp, a crooked grin painted on his mouth.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Fuck off."  
  
Sanji shrugged a shoulder, an amused expression still present on his features as he took a deep drag of tobacco. "Why are you here so early?" he asked after almost a minute of silence.  
  
Zoro bit his tongue. Obviously he couldn't tell him the real reason. "I just got off from work early." he said casually as he swept raindrops off the sleeve of his leather coat.  
  
Sanji rested against one of the pillars, leaning one of his feet back on it "Lucky boy." he commented in a soft tone as he stared off into the distance.

Zoro looked up at him, creases forming on his forehead as he scowled "What are you doing out there? Waiting and brooding in the shadow like Strider..." he asked, smirking at his own mocking words.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes as he pulled a cigarette away from his lips "I could ask the same thing to you," he cocked an eyebrow "why didn't you go inside?"  
  
Zoro's nostrils flared, still debating with himself whether he should tell Sanji that he wanted to talk to him or not. "You don't answer with another question, idiot." he muttered.  
  
Sanji's foot dropped back to the ground with a thump, then shifted his weight on the other leg as he propped that one up against the pillar "I..." he swallowed thickly, his gaze straying from Zoro's "I don't know who's inside yet and I wanted to wait for other people to show up," he shrugged "that's all."  
  
Zoro's frown deepened "Since when are you afraid to step inside Franky's house first?"  
  
Sanji huffed "Who said I'm afraid, bastard?"  
  
"Well, you're waiting for the rest of us to arrive so you can get in with someone else?" Zoro scoffed, clearly thinking it was the most obvious way to read Sanji's behavior."You got a problem with Franky or something?"  
  
Sanji glowered down at Zoro as if he had insulted him "I do not!" he growled before going back to suck avidly on his cigarette.  
  
Zoro's eyes widened slightly at that strange reaction "So is it because of him that you're not feeling well?" he dared asking. The cold was starting to penetrate his bones, so he tightened the coat around himself and rubbed his hands together.  
  
The cigarette nearly slipped off Sanji's lips when Zoro's words were uttered, but he quickly made sure it wouldn't fall and nearly burnt his fingers. "Fuck!" he sneered when he finally caught the cigarette and held it between his fore and middle fingers "What the shit are you blabbering about, Marimo?" he cried. Zoro saw that his cheekbones had pinked up even in the poor light.  
  
"Look, I–" Zoro faltered, his gaze dropping to the floor as he tried to muster up the courage to speak.  
  
"You what?" Sanji barked, oozing hostility.  
  
Zoro glared up at him "I am here early because I wanted to talk to you. You're being weird as fuck, and you said it yourself too!" he said in a firm tone, then glanced over at the front door and immediately lowered his voice, not wanting anyone to interrupt them by suddenly walking in on them. "In the text you sent me last night."  
  
The way Sanji was looking at Zoro was almost fearful, he placed his foot down on the floor all over again and rolled the filter of the cigarette between his fingers in a clear sign of discomfort. "I'm not weird I–" Sanji bit at the little metal hoop that was hooked on his lower lip, hesitating. "There's nothing to talk about." his voice cracked and he stuck the cigarette back between his lips to inhale a drag.  
  
Zoro stood up, determination flickering in his deep dark eyes and stepped in closer to Sanji. "Don't shut me out."  
  
Sanji reared back instinctively, hitting his head back against the pillar in the process "I am not."  
  
Zoro stepped further in, so much that their bodies were nearly pressed together "Yes, you are! Tell me what's wrong!" he insisted, trying not to look down at Sanji's lips.  
  
Sanji removed the cigarette from his mouth and threw the stub under the rain, onto the asphalt. "Nothing is wrong." he nearly spelled out the words as he slowly spilled them out, his eyes meticulously avoiding Zoro's.

Zoro scoffed, his hand nearly moving on its own as his thumb and forefinger went to grab Sanji's chin to turn his head and make him look at him "Why do you even lie?"  
  
Sanji had thrown the stone and then he'd hidden his hand. It was nothing new, Zoro was used to Sanji hinting to his malaise and then denying it completely once someone really worried about it. Zoro knew that Sanji hated exposing himself and letting people see him in a moment of frailty, but Zoro could never consider him weak, Sanji was probably the strongest person he knew. Sometimes, though, even the strongest of people need to lay their heads on someone's shoulders and share the weight of their suffering with that person. Everyone needs help, every once in a while, and Zoro was more than willing to aid Sanji.  
  
"Get off me, bastard." Sanji sputtered out, but there was no rage in his voice, only pain. He didn't even move a muscle to push Zoro away.  
  
"I just wanna help you." Zoro insisted, though he let his hand slide off Sanji's face as he took half a step back.  
  
"There's nothing you can do," Sanji shook his head. His hand snaked inside the pocket of his coat to fish for the umpteenth cigarette.  
  
Zoro was taken aback by those words. If there was nothing he could do to help, then there was definitely something going on with Sanji. "At least tell me what's troubling you!"  
  
Sanji groaned and threw his head back in exasperation "It's not just a matter of what, but also a matter of who." he spoke, cryptic. He lit up the cigarette and stopped looking at Zoro once again.  
  
Zoro's heart sank all the way to his stomach. There was a dull ache in the middle of his chest, or maybe it was a burn, he couldn't tell. A matter of who. So it was a person. A person was the cause of Sanji's pain. It could be anyone and it could be for any reason.

"Then who is it?" Zoro asked, determined and stubborn. He knew it could take a miracle for Sanji to actually spit it out, but he hoped he could work one.  
  
Sanji laughed a brief, hollow laugh, then exhaled a blueish coil of smoke towards the ceiling. "Like fuck I'm telling you who it is, Marimo."  
  
A sharp eyebrow quirked up. He had foreseen that answer coming. "I thought I was your best friend. Shouldn't you tell me these things?"  
  
Sanji's expression hardened up as he finally glanced back at Zoro "I'm not telling this to a living soul. Don't be dramatic." he shook his head, then puffed on his cigarette.  
  
Zoro growled, hanging his head "You're fucking impossible!"  
  
Sanji's eyebrow rose "Oh I know that," he nodded a few times "I know that all to well. I have to live with me all the time." a bitter smile curved his lips.  
  
Zoro was just about to open his mouth to say something, to tell Sanji that if he would just open up to him things might be easier, but the rumbling of an old car stopping by and the screeching and slamming of its doors interrupted them.  
  
"Zoro! Sanji!" Luffy's voice called out to them, as the boy rushed up the couple stairs. It had stopped raining and Zoro hadn't even noticed.  
  
"Hey, Luffy." Sanji greeted in a small voice that made Zoro turn to look at him with an arched eyebrow.  
  
When Zoro glanced back to his brothers, Luffy had already looped both arms around him, and as he was trapped in that bone crushing hug, Zoro could see a funereal expression on Ace's face.  
  
"Hey!" Zoro said softly as he patted his little brother on the head and hugged him back with one arm only, his eyes were still glued to Ace's fidgeting figure standing by the car.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Zoro asked, and Ace literally jumped on the spot.  
  
"N-nothing!" Ace stuttered as he went up the stairs "Hi..." he muttered, not looking at him in the eyes and shooting Sanji a weird look. "We're getting in, it's too cold outside." Ace kept mumbling as he dragged Luffy with him.  
  
Seriously, why was Zoro surrounded by people acting like they had all suddenly gone insane?  
  
"Okay?" Zoro blinked as he followed his brothers with his eyes as they went inside Franky's house. When he turned back to Sanji, the blond was furiously chewing on his black painted nails.  
  
"We should–" Sanji's voice didn't exactly break, it completely failed to come out before he could suck in a deep breath "We should get in, too." he cleared his throat and took one last drag of tobacco before flicking away the unfinished cigarette.  
  
"No," Zoro shook his head and earned a befuddled look from Sanji "we're not done yet. We're talking."  
  
Sanji huffed "We're _very_ done, actually." he pushed Zoro away from him "I'm freezing my balls off here, and I'm tired of talking." he announced as he made his way towards the front door.  
  
Zoro let out an irritated sigh, but let Sanji go anyway. That wasn't the best time to start arguing anyway, so he limited himself to pick up his bag and get inside the house as well.  
  
Maybe the conversation hadn't been a full success, but he'd still managed to tear some information from Sanji. Information that was probably going to haunt him for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The four boys had indeed been the first to arrive at Franky's, and were greeted by a less than usually cheerful host. There was an unspoken tension ghosting upon them that you could literally cut with a knife, Zoro was more and more bewildered by the entire situation and thanked the entire Norse Pantheon when Nami, Vivi and Usopp showed up to bring some positive energy and actual liveliness to the house.  
  
During the dinner they shared their nervousness and insecurities about the show they were going to have the day after, and now that Zoro was finally giving it some thought he was starting to feel anxious, too. Still that didn't justify certain behaviors, Zoro couldn't believe that the tension and the weirdness he had sensed earlier that evening were all just the result of anxiety, why would Franky feel just as worried as the actual performers?  
  
Zoro tried not to rack his brains about it too much as he downed the third beer and bit into the fifth slice of pizza. He was sitting next to Nami who was clearly trying to out drink him, and succeeding at that, since she was on her fourth beer and didn't even look all that tipsy as she discussed the setlist.  
  
The songs were going to be almost all the same, they were going to keep Manson's _Personal Jesus_ instead of Sonata Arctica's _The Wolves Die Young_ , and _I Come With Knives_ as the mandatory IAMX cover.  
  
There had been a few moments during dinner, in which Zoro had caught Ace and Sanji exchanging quick glances and then glaring down at their own food or lap, and for some reason he had started feeling slightly irritated by them, especially since Ace didn't seem to be able to ever hold Zoro's gaze for more than half a second. It was suspicious, to say the least, but he didn't have much time to think about it as they all poured downstairs into Franky's garage to start practicing.  
  
"Are you drunk yet?" Nami teased as soon as Zoro sat by the drums.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "No," he arched an eyebrow "you're the drunk one, even just 'cause you asked me this."  
  
Nami pulled a face at him, then went to position herself by the keyboards, blowing Vivi a kiss while she was sitting between Franky and Usopp.  
  
Zoro clearly saw Sanji rolling his eyes at him before he could turn around to grip at the mic stand, and for a moment he considered flinging both drumsticks at him. He hadn't even spoken a single word to Zoro after their little moment on Franky's porch and now he had the guts to actually act annoyed if Zoro dared interacting with their other friends? Well, wasn't that rich?  
  
Zoro didn't want to fight, not again, he wanted to let out all the pent up frustration that plagued his body by playing. He watched as everyone got ready, waiting as Luffy and Ace tuned their instruments before setting up the rhythm for the first song by hitting his drumsticks together one, two, three, four times before actually starting to bang on his drums.  
  
Zoro performed the greatest part of the song with his eyes closed, he knew everything by heart and he didn't even need to look at what he was doing. He was allowing his body to breathe in melody and bleed out rhythm, his strong arms swayed almost as if they had a life of their own, his mind was empty and his very core was more relaxed than ever. Music was his drug, his best mean of meditation, the most effective medicine for his soul.  
  
When the first song ended he didn't know if anyone's performance had been faulty, he'd been too lost in his own little world to notice, but he could tell that there was still some tension between Sanji and Ace.  
  
"You don't have to be so close while I sing, alright?" Sanji muttered, not even looking at Ace in the eye.  
  
"I wasn't that close?" Ace blinked, puzzled "Just take a few steps ahead if you don't want me near you, I can't sit on Zoro's cymbals to play." he retorted, and finally Zoro could recognize a more lively tone in his voice.  
  
"Fuck off..." Sanji grumbled, but didn't even make the effort to put up a real argument as he pushed the mic stand ahead and distanced himself from the guitarist.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Usopp asked with a frown, swinging one of his legs over the other. Zoro noticed the way Franky shifted uncomfortably in his seat and suddenly became interested in plucking small hair from his button down shirt.  
  
"They've been weird as hell all evening, don't mind them." Luffy answered him with a wave of the hand, then strummed a random rhythm with his bass.  
  
"We're not being weird! I just need some room when I'm singing or it gets suffocating!" Sanji explained in a grouchy manner.  
  
Nami snorted louder than Zoro thought it possible "Sure, especially when you literally smear against either Ace or Luffy during lives." she cackled, making a scene of holding her stomach as Usopp and Vivi chuckled with her.  
  
Sanji wouldn't dare replying to Nami, but Zoro saw the way his body completely stiffened and his head lowered in a mix of shame and rage, probably.  
  
"C'mon guys, is this really worth arguing over? Let's just keep going!" Luffy huffed and jumped impatiently on his spot, looking like a tiny volcano ready to erupt.  
  
"Let's do _Blood On The Snow_ , so we can all soothe our nerves." Zoro suggested, sighing as he repositioned himself on his stool. Everything felt like a bad soap opera between grumpy goths, and Zoro had definitely had enough of it all.  
  
"I bet you're so stressed out, Marimo." Sanji singsonged, still with his back fully turned on Zoro.  
  
All the good purposes that Zoro had in mind flew straight out of the window as he furiously sprung to his feet and both Nami and Usopp had to physically hold him not to let him launch himself at Sanji. "I'm tired of your bullshit, what the fuck is wrong with you, fucking stupid Cook?" Zoro roared.  
  
Sanji turned around, his face flushed and warped with rage "Just leave me the fuck alone, you damn moss brain! Haven't you bugged me enough, today?"  
  
Franky rose from his seat and stepped over to block Sanji "Guys! Enough!" he thundered, and both Sanji and Zoro immediately stopped struggling to get to each other's throats. "We're calling off practice if you have to keep doing this! Don't you care about tomorrow's show?"  
  
Sanji hung his head and dropped his arms along his sides, his fists relaxing and opening up. "Sorry, Franky. You're right." he spoke in such a small voice that Zoro felt a weird chill running down his spine.  
  
"Sorry..." Zoro murmured as he sat back down on the stool and picked up his sticks from the floor.  
  
Sanji looked on the verge of tears, Zoro wished he didn't know that expression as well as he did. Why did they always have to snap at each other like that was always going to be a mystery to everyone, even to Zoro.  
  
"I-I need to..." Sanji's feeble voice cracked as he gestured towards the stairs and pulled out a wrinkled cigarette from his back pocket.  
  
"Okay, uh... Let's all take a ten minutes break, shall we?" Nami suggested in an uncertain tone, then walked over to Vivi, who had witnessed the entire scene developing by her eyes completely paralyzed in her seat.  
  
Sanji had to walk by Zoro to go upstairs, and when he was close enough to the drummer he didn't look at him but whispered "Please, don't follow me." then left the garage.  
  
Zoro wanted to throw up, but he didn't. He stayed rooted to the stool as he stared blankly at the drum kit, not really seeing it. How did things get so horrible between them, when they had been so calm and nearly normal at lunch?  
  
"Zoro?"  
  
Luffy's voice sounded so muffled and distant to Zoro's ear, yet when he raised his gaze on him, his brother was close enough to clap a hand on his shoulder and squeeze at it.  
  
"Are you alright?" Luffy frowned.  
  
Zoro didn't manage to speak, but he did nod a couple times. He instinctively looked in the direction of his older brother, but as soon as their gazes met, Ace averted his.  
  
Why? What the hell was going on with everyone?

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The ten minutes break lasted about thirty, during which Sanji refused to come back to the garage and Zoro barely moved and spoke from behind his drums.  
  
Usopp was the one who managed to convince Sanji to join them again, he was very empathetic and calm when needed, and in that moment he was the best chance they had in getting Sanji to sing again, since Zoro wasn't allowed to speak to him. As for Zoro, he only regained a bit of enthusiasm when his youngest brother managed to make him smile after several tries.  
  
Once they were all reunited into the garage the room felt more crammed than ever, a mist of awkwardness and tension hovered them, but Nami had cracked a motivational speech which had given them enough charge to at least practice the trickiest songs. Between tracks, Usopp, Nami, Luffy and Vivi tried to keep the spirits up with jokes and compliments, Franky joined them at some point, and one way or another this got them all through the couple hours of playing.  
  
"So, tomorrow we must leave kinda early, it's nearly an hour drive from here to Logue Town." Franky began as he watched his friends shrugging on jackets and coats.  
  
"Yeah, no problem," Nami nodded right after slipping a beanie over her half shaved head "Vivi and I will get here as soon as possible." she then eyed the rest of her bandmates "Dunno about them, though."  
  
Usopp chimed in, waving a gloved hand "I'm supposed to come with you and Vivi, so..." he gave a single shouldered shrug, then sheepishly looked over to Zoro.  
  
He nodded his head, tightening his coat around his tired body "Sure, we'll be here on time." he spoke. It was practically the first time he had spoken after the argument with Sanji, he had spent the rest of the night being a passive observer of whatever happened in front of him and mechanically played every song they picked.  
  
He was still thinking about how little it had taken for both he and Sanji to burst, or how Sanji had come back with the little eyeliner he was wearing smeared underneath his eyes. His voice sounded so hollow as he sang, it almost sounded like somebody else's and it was one of the things that hurt Zoro the most, Sanji's apathy was scary.  
  
Zoro looked over at Sanji, he had half of his face burrowed into his scarf and a huge beanie was covering his head, leaving only one of his blue eyes on display, still it looked stripped of its life, it was like a switch within Sanji had been turned off.  
  
"I've got an early shift tomorrow, so that I can take the rest of the day off," Sanji dragged out his words as if it took him a great effort to utter them "I'm gonna go now, I'm really tired." his dull voice was muffled by the thick, fluffy fabric of his scarf.  
  
"You need a ride?" Luffy asked, and Zoro had no idea how to feel about it.  
  
Sanji shook his head "No Luffy, thanks." he pulled one of his hands out of the pocket of his coat and slightly wriggled his fingers "G'night, peeps." he turned around and left at a quick pace.  
  
"It doesn't feel safe." Zoro mumbled all of a sudden, after everyone had bid Sanji an insecure goodnight.  
  
"Huh?" Vivi furrowed her eyebrows "What doesn't?"  
  
Zoro gestured towards Sanji "It's late and he's tired and–" the rest of the sentence died on the tip of his tongue, he had no idea of what else to say, how could no one else see what he meant?  
  
Vivi seemed to understand, though "Nami, let's..." she jerked her head towards Sanji, and in that moment Nami got it, too.  
  
"You can drive Usopp home, right?" Nami asked, her gaze wandering between Ace and Luffy.  
  
"Of course!" Luffy replied with a grin.  
  
"We'll handle it, Zoro." Vivi smiled at him and gently squeezed at his arm "Don't worry."  
  
"Goodnight!" Nami smirked before she and Vivi could speed in the direction of Sanji, who luckily was still in sight.  
  
Zoro hadn't said anything, not even a word of thank you, but he was sure that Nami and Vivi knew that he meant it. Knowing that Sanji wasn't going to wander off alone, ending up fuck knows where, was a great relief.  
  
"Well..." Franky sighed, shifting his weight from a leg to the other "I guess we should all get some rest, huh?" a small smile curled his lips.  
  
"So, before we go..." Usopp started, a shit eating grin splitting his face. "Tell us about last night."  
  
The blood drained from Franky's face, leaving a ghastly expression on his features "W-what? What about last night? I-I saw nothing!" he raised his huge hands in a defensive manner.  
  
Zoro scowled at him, puzzled, and noticed that everyone else was looking at him just the same, except Ace who had kept his expression of discomfort through all the evening and night.  
  
"What?" Usopp asked, befuddled "No, I mean with Robin!"  
  
Franky's eyes widened and he froze for a moment as the panic from before left him as quickly as it had come "Ooohhh!" he palmed his face and let out an exaggerated laugh "I'm super silly, forgive me!" he ran his thick fingers through his light blue hair "Robin is a real lady, and I'm a real gentleman, so I won't be telling you anything you shouldn't know about."  
  
"Alright, that's what I thought." Usopp nodded, and Franky nodded in return with a smirk "She didn't want to sleep with you."  
  
"W-what?!" Franky nearly screamed, and everyone, even Zoro couldn't help but at least snort. "No, that's–!" he blabbered, his cheeks flushing furiously.  
  
"It's alright, bro! It happens!" Usopp reassured him as he laughed.  
  
"Stop it! It's just 'cause she thought it was... A bit too soon." Franky explained, clearly embarrassed "And I really like her, and I'd never force her to do anything."  
  
A small, lopsided smile tugged at Zoro's lips "You don't have to justify yourself, Franky," he shrugged "you're a real man for doing this. You don't force yourself on anyone, no matter what."  
  
Franky's eyebrows rose "Thank you, bro."  
  
Zoro nodded, then hit his shoulder into Luffy's "Let's head back now."  
  
"Yeah," Luffy nodded, then waved at Franky "Night, Franky! See you tomorrow!"  
  
"See you tomorrow, Franky!" Usopp saluted him, then followed Luffy and Ace to the car.  
  
Zoro limited himself to lazily wave at Franky before joining his brothers and Usopp. He got into the front seat next to Ace, leaving Usopp a spot next to Luffy, he watched the two boys whisper and giggle from the rear view mirror and couldn't help but smile fondly at the sight.  
  
Zoro glanced over to Ace who had his eyes firmly glued to the road, and a deep scowl wrinkled his features. They were both quiet for the entire ride, when they stopped to let Usopp in his house and Zoro caught a glimpse of Luffy brushing his lips from Usopp's cheek to the corner of his lips ever so softly, he didn't elbow Ace to comment on it, he kept silent. They were quiet even when Ace resumed driving to get home, almost as if Zoro was just a random customer on a cab, they spoke about nothing at all.  
  
Zoro's mind had decided to shut down, probably because he was so mentally and physically exhausted that he was refusing to bust his brains over painful things. He had actually no idea as to how he was going to get through the day after, and absolutely no clue about how the band was going to play an entire show after that night.  
  
Once the brothers finally stepped inside their house, Zoro murmured a quick _'goodnight'_ and disappeared upstairs. He shrugged off his coat, kicked off his boots and jeans, then dived face first onto his bed. The first idea was to let the pillow he had his face burrowed into, smother him, but sleeping seemed like the next best option, so he went with that instead.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The spritz of boiling oil that sprayed against the pale skin of Sanji's hand hurt, but couldn't compare to the agony he had literally pushed himself into. He retracted instinctively, letting go of the spatula and the pan he was using (yes, the old fart had caved in an let him back in the kitchen) with a hiss, his glare shifting from the offending objects to the stinging area of his hand.  
  
He wasn't feeling that much pain, he wasn't even hearing the snarky comments around him, he was just staring at the tiny burn and marveling at the sensation of relief in his chest: the physical pain had distracted his mind from overthinking.  
  
Maybe Sanji had always been a masochist, he had always relished torturing himself in various ways, not to mention the orgasms he could get while being inflicted just the right amount of pain, but he didn't self-harm, he never had, not even as a kid. For some strange reason now, he found himself fighting the urge to dip his whole hand inside the scalding liquid in front of him.  
  
"You idiot,what are you doing?" Patty's rough tone of voice startled Sanji and brought him back to reality.  
  
"What do y– Hey! Shit!" Sanji stammered out as his wrist was yanked and he was forcefully pulled to the closest sink.  
  
"Doing what you're apparently too gone to do," Patty growled lowly as he put Sanji's hand under the icy cold stream of water.  
  
Sanji squirmed slightly and bit his bottom lip "Let go of me!" he finally sneered, pushing Patty away with his other hand "I can do it myself." he grumbled, as he made sure that the area of the burn felt numb enough to pull it away from the water.  
  
How he wished he could numb all his senses just like that, he would have paid his weight in gold for that knot in his throat to unravel, for that stomach ache to leave him alone and for that nasty feeling in his chest to flutter away.  
  
"Being nice to you is never a good idea."  
  
Sanji heard Patty mumble as he walked back to his position, but he ignored him thoroughly. It was fine, he could manage, he was a sous-chef and those kind of accidents were way too common for him, he had had worse anyway, way worse. He got back to work immediately, trying to fix the condition of the food he was frying as fast as he could before Zeff stepped back into the kitchen, he wasn't going to give him any reason to scold him more than usual.  
  
Sanji was glad that he was at least back in the kitchen, having his real job back made things slightly more bearable and focusing on cooking everything to perfection was a very good distraction. Or at least that was what Sanji had thought, before all kinds of horrible thoughts and memories had decided to pool inside his head and make him burn himself.  
  
When Sanji had showed up to the Baratie that morning he had probably looked like he was dying, because Zeff had tried to send him back home at least three times before giving up. He hadn't slept much, he had hoped that he would pass out from exhaustion during the night, at some point, but he didn't. He spent the greatest part of the night tossing and turning, turning and tossing, as many scenes from that evening at Franky's replayed in his mind over and over.  
  
Sanji had always thought himself to be an excellent actor, not to mention how great he was at repelling feelings, but as time went on everything had proved to be slowly disintegrating. His mask was cracking, his armor was rusting off and he had absolutely no clue as to how he should deal with what was lying underneath.  
  
Realizing that he was in love with Zoro had destroyed him, it had turned his jealous side into a vicious, vengeful monster that didn't care about anything nor anyone – hell, the night before he'd even been jealous of Nami joking around with Zoro! Sanji knew all too well that what he had done was horrible, he had tricked Ace into sleeping with him, all to get back at Zoro for cuddling on a couch with that Bartolo _monster_. He was painfully aware of how much Ace was dying inside, he had seen him fall apart with desperation, crying and pulling at his hair, and Sanji ached for that, but he couldn't do anything about it, the damage was done.  
  
Sanji had seen the confusion in Zoro's eyes, the raw need to know what the hell was suddenly going on with his best friend and with his brother, yet Sanji was helpless, unable to give Zoro a word of comfort, unable to fix things between Ace and Zoro, and it was scary.  
  
Fear had been eating away at him from the moment he had stepped out of Franky's house, the morning after he and Ace had slept together. It was gnawing at his insides, feasting on his organs, poisoning his blood and plaguing his thoughts. Sanji had thought up every possible worst case scenario and they all resulted in him being left alone.  
  
The band would split up, no one would ever speak to Sanji again and Zoro would never want to have anything to do with him ever again. His entire life, his dreams, his affections, everything would turn to ashes in the blink of an eye, and it frightened Sanji so much that at some moments he could hardly breathe.  
  
That entire day at work was pure agony, he was afraid of getting off his shift and having to meet his friends, which was the thing that usually gave him life, he was supposed to be jumping with excitement at the thought of playing Murder Of Crows' first gig out of town, but instead all he wanted to do was crawl in a hole and never get out of it. Still he needed to be strong, to glue back the shattered pieces of his mask and to fix his armor as much as he could. Anything was possible if he bit the bullet, he was a fighter after all, so he was still going to fight.  
  
The meeting with his friends was at Franky's, around 4:30 pm, the show wasn't going to start before 9 but they'd rather reach the venue early and get familiar with the stage, than arriving late and barely have time to even set up all the instruments and perform a thorough soundcheck. Sanji was always an extremely punctual person, and at exactly 4:30 he was already on Franky's porch, sharing a cigarette with him.  
  
Sanji didn't need to ask anything to the other man, he already knew that Franky had seen or heard what had gone on between he and Ace, they had fucked in one of his guest rooms, after all, and if Franky had left his own bed to Robin he had definitely checked the room that should have definitely been empty.  
  
They didn't say much, they only exchanged a few pleasantries and swapped a few set phrases to express their nervousness for the upcoming show. Franky had this worried expression plastered on his face, and he kept looking at Sanji as if he was going to shatter into a million pieces right before his eyes. It was kind of irritating, but Sanji didn't say anything, he just picked at a few hangnails with his teeth.  
  
It only took a few more minutes for everyone else to gather, all wrapped up in their warm coats and scarves, with their instruments inside their cases and an extra bag for their stage clothes. They were all beautiful and anxious, filled with hope and unable to stop fidgeting and speak nonsense, only to exorcise their fears.  
  
Brook was with them, of course, he couldn't abandon them in such a moment of need, he was part of The Crows and his exceptional violinist skills were vital to them. They had also proposed to let him do a solo with a cello, in which he was going to accompany Sanji while singing _The Rains Of Castamere_ as a small interlude.  
  
Sanji was more than thrilled to finally have the possibility to sing that marvelous song live, but thinking about the tragedies that usually followed that song in the _Game Of Thrones_ universe was definitely worrying him.  
  
"We're gonna play _The Rains Of Castamere_ , Sanji!" Brook clapped his hands together excitedly "And then we can slit some random throats!"  
  
Everyone laughed out loud, except for Sanji's nervous chuckle, Ace's small giggle and the complete lack of laughter from Zoro, who was still trying to fit his things into Brook's van. Sanji dropped his bag to the floor and moved towards the van in order to help Zoro and make some sort of conversation, even if they had barely greeted each other.  
  
"Why do you always wanna do everything by yourself?" Sanji sighed as he picked one of the boxes containing parts of Zoro's drums kit and putting it into the back of the van.  
  
Zoro didn't look at him "That would be 'cause I can perfectly handle myself." he slightly shifted the box that Sanji had put down, then straightened himself back up and dusted his hands "Just like you don't need my help." he said in a monotone as he finally looked at Sanji.  
  
Zoro's glance was powerful and Sanji felt like it was piercing into his very soul. Sanji's gaze dropped to the ground as he slowly shook his head "Listen, it's not like that," he started as his eyes raised back to Zoro's "I'll always need you it's just that–" he bit his lower lip, unsure as to what he should be saying next "In this particular small chapter of my life, there's nothing anyone can do." he shrugged his shoulders "Not even the bravest of swordsmen."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows raising at the same time. Sanji knew that what he had said was maybe a small compliment, but Zoro rarely received any from Sanji, just like the other way around. That look of surprise quickly vanished, as Zoro shook his head "Alright. As you wish." he said briefly, then walked back to Franky's van in order to climb inside of it.  
  
That uneasy weight settled back on Sanji's chest, his stomach twisted uncomfortably and his heart tightened in anguish. He couldn't say anything, he needed to lie and dodge questions and assumptions, but the genuine awe he had seen on Zoro's features felt like a stab in the ribs.  
  
"Sanji, move your ass! We'll be late!" Usopp called out from Franky's van.  
  
For a moment he considered riding into Brook's van, with Vivi and Nami, leaving both Zoro and Ace alone. Maybe it was the best thing to do, to remain as calm and relaxed as he could at least on the way to Logue Town.  
  
"I'll ride in Brook's van! Don't worry about me!" Sanji shouted back "I'm not leaving our beautiful ladies alone with a pervert!"  
  
"No, that's right!" Usopp hollered in response "Let's leave them with _two_ perverts!"  
  
"I'll kill you!" Sanji barked.  
  
"Now, now," Vivi poked her head out of Brook's van "don't get too worked up, just get in the van!"  
  
"Get in the vaaaaan!" Nami echoed from inside the vehicle.  
  
Sanji heard the rumble of Franky's van turning on and watched it pull on the road "Yeah, comin' my ladies!" he sighed before finally climbing inside.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sanji did his best to flush out everything from his head during the ride, he was sitting next to Brook, listening to him as he told them about the best of his students' shenanigans and laughing with Nami and Vivi. There was a merry playlist of '80s rock songs playing in the background that were contributing to that relaxed and blissful atmosphere, which lulled Sanji into a peaceful state. Brook knew how to make them feel good before an important show.

Brook was an experienced musician who had unfortunately lost his job in the most prestigious orchestra of the nation, thing that pushed him into an awful spiral of depression. Fate decided that one night, in a small club, when Murder of Crows were still complete nobodies, Brook watched them perform and everything seemed to fall into place. Meeting The Crows and befriending them turned his lonely, painful world upside down. He had found again the will to carry on with his life and rediscovered what was it like to be enveloped by the warmth of his friends' love. The Crows had learned so much from Brook, and Brook took care of them as if they were all his children.  
  
"If you guys become famous, it'll probably make me the happiest man on this earth." Brook sighed, his teashades covered eyes were focused on the road.  
  
"I'm pretty sure I'll be that man." Sanji couldn't help but contradict him with a snort.  
  
"Oh c'mon, Sanji, you know what I mean." Brook huffed in reply.  
  
"We know Brook," Nami placed a hand on Brook's shoulder, squeezing it softly "we know."  
  
Sanji saw a tear rolling down Brook's cheek as a smile tugged at his lips, but didn't say anything, Sanji limited himself to smile and turn his head to look out of the window. They were almost there, he could tell, and no matter the calm and relaxed time he had spent on the van, now that the venue got nearer and nearer Sanji could feel the fear resurfacing, spiraling up his stomach and compressing his lungs.  
  
When the two black vans parked one next to the other, in the parking lot reserved to the artists, Freakshow were already there, smoking in the golden light of the backstage door that flooded a large portion of the dark backyard.  
  
Sanji hopped off the van and watched his friends warmly greeting their fellow musicians, he hesitated, still not ready to be social, but when he saw Bartolomeo enfold Zoro in his arms it only took Sanji a quick few steps to stand next to the drummer.  
  
"Hey, nerds!" Sanji greeted everyone in his usual manner, a lopsided grin dangling from his lips. He felt Zoro's eyes on him but didn't dare turning his head to look at him.  
  
"Hello, you diva!" Bonney smirked at him.  
  
"We thought you weren't here, for a moment." Law's eyebrow quirked.  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you, Trafalgar." Sanji shrugged a shoulder, then jerked his chin towards the cigarette that Law was holding between his fingers "Aren't you gonna offer me one?"

Sanji didn't think that Law's expression could turn even smugger, but apparently it could.

"Sure." Law grinned, then buried one of his hands into the back pocket of his black jeans to fish out a cigarette to hand to Sanji.  
  
"Thank you." Sanji took a couple steps ahead to take the cigarette, then waited for Law to light it up for him.  
  
"Fuck's sake..." Kidd whispered, as he stood next to Law. He cleared his throat and looked past Sanji's shoulders "Do you guys need help with your equipment?"  
  
"Sure, we can always use an extra pair of arms." Zoro replied.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at Zoro incredulous, he wasn't the kind of person to ask for help when it came to use his muscles.  
  
"I'll help you with your drum kit!" Bartolomeo literally jumped on the spot "Where is it?"  
  
Sanji's eyebrow twitched and his jaw clenched so tight that his teeth ground together, jealousy rushing through his veins like poison.  
  
"Uh..." Zoro dared looking in Sanji's direction, then he looked back at Bartolomeo "In the bigger van." he jabbed his thumb behind his back, in the general direction of Brook's van.  
  
"Alright then, let's go!" Bartolomeo started into the direction of the vehicle, followed by Zoro.  
  
Sanji bit into the filter of the cigarette hard enough to sever it from the rest of the tobacco rod.  
  
"Alright, we'll help with the rest of the stuff, then." Kidd nodded and walked towards Franky's van.  
  
"Yeah guys, let's go!" Bonney called out and Heat and Killer moved towards Brook's van to unload the rest of the boxes and cases, then she looked at Law "Are you afraid to break a nail, or you're gonna help, too?"  
  
Law waved his fingers "I work with these, I'm not gonna risk my precious hands."  
  
Bonney scoffed and left.  
  
"I'll go change the strings on my bass," Law announced to no one in particular, then looked at Sanji "Wanna keep me company?"  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "Fuck off."  
  
"Asshole." Law shrugged a shoulder, then disappeared past the stage door.  
  
Sanji leaned against a wall, watching as everyone strained themselves with weights and quickly poured inside the backstage of the venue. He was left alone with his smoke and his thoughts as he stared up at the night sky, the soft wind blowing through his hair.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
Sanji flinched and quickly turned his head in the direction of the voice he had heard. Ace was standing next to him, a determined expression painted his features.  
  
"What the fuck do you want, Ace? You scared the shit out of me!" Sanji growled lowly, flicking ashes on the asphalt.  
  
"After tonight's show... I'm telling Zoro."  
  
Sanji's heart stopped for more than one second, his breath hitching in his throat "I'm sorry... What did you say?" he arched an eyebrow, hoping to whatever deity that he had misheard Ace's words.  
  
"I'll tell Zoro everything, after the show." Ace repeated, altering the order of the words.  
  
Sanji dropped the cigarette to the ground and grabbed the collar of Ace's jacket with both hands "You little shit, don't you fucking dare!" he roared a few inches away from Ace's face.  
  
"I do what the fuck I want!" Ace growled in return, shoving Sanji back "I can't stand the weight you've burdened me with! I can't keep this inside of me any longer!"  
  
Sanji's nostrils flared as he bared his teeth like a fierce beast "If you do it, I'll kill you with my bare hands." he threatened him in a low, fury dripping voice.  
  
Ace let out a huff of laughter "Zoro will probably kill me first," he shook his head "but he has a right to do it. You don't scare me, Sanji. Not even a bit."  
  
Sanji's attitude faltered, Ace was far too resolute for his taste "You can't do this. You have no right!"  
  
"I have every right." Ace shrugged "I'm not like you, I can't lie to my brother."  
  
Sanji felt his heart sink to his stomach. Of course Ace would think that he was some sort of soulless/heartless monster who wasn't fazed by what had happened, he was that good of an actor. He couldn't find the strength to get back to Ace in any way, his gaze fell upon the asphalt and he watched the cigarette burn away in the cold. He felt exactly like that cigarette, he felt like every second that passed was consuming him.  
  
Ace turned on his heels and Sanji listened to his steps getting more and more distant. Sanji raised his head, glaring at the darkness as Ace's words replayed in his mind over and over. He couldn't let it happen, he couldn't just give up like that, could he? The problem was that he didn't think he had even an ounce of strength left inside of him.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeeeeeeah, apparently I'm seriously awful at updating, lately, I haven't done so since January and I feel really bad for it, ugh. The story is simply getting very hard to develop and there have been times in which I've felt utterly discouraged and I couldn't bring myself to type even a word. I hope presenting you with such a long chapter will make up for the wait, and I hope you won't give up on me just yet. 
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's been amazing and supportive of me, leaving messages and what not, all your kind words are the best fuel for my inspiration!
> 
> The only warning about this chapter is that there's a spoilery character appearance, even though they really don't do much more than a cameo. Mostly because I love them and I wanted them to show up, teehee.
> 
> Well, enjoy!

Panic pervaded Sanji's entire body, it made his stomach sick, his chest tight and his throat knotted. He slid inside the venue from the backdoor and wished nothing more than to turn invisible, or maybe vanish into thin air. He didn't want to be seen, he didn't want to spend any amount of time having to speak or do anything social – definitely not the right mindset for someone who was about to play a show in a matter of hours.  
  
The backstage was larger than that of the Colosseum, in the left corner they had set up a couple tables with all kinds of food and drinks, and Sanji could see Luffy, Usopp and Bonney wolfing down everything they could get their hands on. On the further right were several doors, all of which lead to offices and changing rooms, not too far from the doors there was a rest area with three couches all facing each other, and the rest of the Freakshows and the Crows were all speaking and drinking together. All of them, but Zoro and Ace.  
  
Sanji stopped breathing. No, it couldn't be... Would Ace seriously fess everything up to Zoro _before_ the concert? That would have been the stupidest move on earth!   
  
He tried to take a few steps ahead, but his legs felt completely drained of all their energy, boneless almost, so he just rested back against the nearest wall and tried to take in as many deep breaths as he could. A panic attack was exactly the last thing he needed at the moment. Sanji let himself slide down the wall until he was sitting down on the floor, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his forehead against them.  
  
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Luckily enough, for the time being, he was able to forget about his surroundings and empty his head in order to only focus on his breathing. He resorted to holding his breath, counting to four and blowing out all the air he had stored in his lungs several time, hoping that the tingling in his hands and feet would just go away, along with the hammering in his chest.  
  
Sanji felt like he was about to either pass out or choke to death, yet his limbs were petrified and rendered him unable to move or call for help. Maybe that was it, he was just going to leave that life of his, it would have probably been better for everyone's sake.  
  
"Cook? What the fuck?"  
  
A muffled voice reached Sanji's ears in a dream-like way, it couldn't be Zoro, he was only God knew where speaking with Ace, and if by any chance he had already been done talking to him, he definitely would just leave Sanji to die alone in a corner.  
  
"Cook? What's wrong with you?"   
  
A hand on his shoulder, a squeeze and a firm shake. Sanji blinked his eyes open and lifted his head to meet Zoro's concerned frown.  
  
"Please... Please don't kill me." Sanji managed to utter in between ragged breaths "I'm already dying."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened underneath his knitted eyebrows "What the fuck? Why should I kill you?"  
  
Sanji dug his nails into his jean clad knees, his chest hurting and his breathing uneven "B-because you... Hate me."  
  
Zoro's expression couldn't become more puzzled not even if he wanted to, but suddenly his brows shot up as a switch flicked on in his mind. "Shut up, Sanji, I don't hate you. It's a panic attack, you're gonna be fine."  
  
Sanji's had those before, when he was younger mostly, a result of his mother's departure and the roller coaster of a relationship he has always had with his father. Zoro had witnessed many of those, and in the past he had always been great at recognizing and treating them. Just like he had just done, now.  
  
Tears pricked at the corners of Sanji's eyes as guilt stabbed him in the chest one more time.  
  
"It's okay, really," Zoro knelt beside Sanji, sitting back on his heels as he rubbed the blond's shoulder "just breathe with me, alright?" his voice was soft, and his expression so different from the usual scowl.  
  
A sob escaped Sanji's throat, strangled and miserable, he didn't deserve that sympathy, didn't deserve Zoro's kindness, he would have kicked Zoro's ass just for getting near him, because he reminded him that he was his anchor and it only increased his pain.  
  
"Come on, Cook, don't cry." Zoro wiped away a stray tear that had rolled down Sanji's cheek "It's gonna be over soon if you breathe with me, yeah?" Zoro's hand hovered Sanji's cheek for a moment, then went back to hold his shoulder.  
  
"I'll kick your teeth in, shitty..." Sanji squeezed his eyes shut.   
  
"You won't be able to kick anyone if you do not breathe." Zoro commented with a raised eyebrow.  
  
In a normal situation, Sanji would have probably stamped his foot into Zoro's face, but in that moment it was best to just give in and start breathing rhythmically with the moss-head.   
  
"In through your nose," Zoro almost enunciated as he took a big breath in "out through your mouth." he blew the air through his puckered lips.  
  
Breathing with Zoro proved to be easier and more effective. Sanji could feel himself come down from the panic attack, slowly but surely, as Zoro squeezed his shoulder gently every time he breathed in.   
  
"Feeling any better yet?" Zoro asked when Sanji's breathing had eventually evened out.  
  
Sanji nodded as his eyes fell upon his knees. He didn't have the courage to look Zoro in the eye, Sanji's mind had pulled quite the joke on him and fate even a crueler one when Zoro walked in on Sanji having a panic attack triggered by him.  
  
"I'll bring you some water, okay?" Zoro patted Sanji's knee "I'll be right back."  
  
Sanji finally looked up at him, silently struggling with the need of Zoro staying by his side but at the same time not wanting him near. He watched as Zoro made his way to the food table, then took a further look around to see if anyone was staring at Sanji or anything, but no one seemed to have taken notice of him. It was better off that way, much better, he didn't need the attention.  
  
Zoro did stop to chat with Usopp, the only person between he, Luffy and Bonney who hadn't fit an entire sandwich in his mouth, and Sanji hoped he wouldn't mention his little episode, he didn't need anyone's pity. All of a sudden, Ace appeared in the picture, pushing past Usopp and Luffy to reach for food and a beer himself. By that time it had become more than obvious that Ace still hadn't said a thing to Zoro, still seeing Ace coming from a random place of the venue made Sanji feel better.  
  
A thought started bouncing around Sanji's mind: he needed to try and properly convince Ace to keep his lips sealed, no matter the pain it could cause him. Spilling the beans to Zoro would have just caused a bigger pain, it would have sliced open a deep wound that wouldn't be easy to sew back shut. Yes, he couldn't risk to have a real heart attack the next time. He could do this, he could convince Ace.  
  
"Here, drink."   
  
A cup filled with fresh water was thrust right under Sanji's nose, when he least expected it, making him flinch in surprise.  
  
"Whoa! Sorry!" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows "I didn't mean to scare you."  
  
Sanji shook his head "It's fine, I was lost in thought." he took the cup from Zoro's hand and brought it to his lips only after he'd softly thanked him. The water felt like ice pouring down his dry throat, but it was definitely pleasant.  
  
"We still have some minutes before the sound check, wanna go get some fresh air?" Zoro asked in the same gentle tone from earlier.  
  
Sanji licked his wet lips, hesitating before finally nodding.  
  
"C'mon." Zoro stood up and held out a hand for Sanji.   
  
Sanji took Zoro's hand and got back to his feet, then followed the drummer outside. He tried to bundle up in his coat as much as he could manage with a plastic cup filled with water in his hand. It was cold, cold as fuck, and Sanji's skin was still covered in a thin sheen of sweat that he feared it could turn into frost, exactly like the windshield of the vans parked right in front of them.  
  
The chilly air did help, though, Sanji closed his eyes, relaxing as he let out a big sigh of relief, his warm breath turning into steam as soon as it clashed with the cold.   
  
"I hope you'll be okay for the gig." Zoro muttered from beside him, making him open his eyes to look over at him.  
  
"I should be." Sanji nodded briefly, then busied himself with the water cup he was holding, taking a few sips.  
  
"Has this started happening again lately or..." Zoro began asking, then shrugged a shoulder "It just did this evening?"  
  
Sanji had no idea how to respond properly, lately everything he thought he had overcome had started haunting him again, his certainties had come tumbling down. Anxiety had been killing him lately, and unfortunately he's had his fair share of breakdowns, but a panic attack like that – he hadn't felt that terrible in years.  
  
"Just this evening." Sanji answered, evasively. He would have wanted to add that he should have seen it coming, because it had been clearly building up with everything that had been happening, but he kept his mouth shut.  
  
"Look," Zoro shifted his weight uncomfortably from one leg to the other as he prepared to speak "I know it isn't stage fright, so if you ever decide to let me in and tell me what the hell is going on–" Zoro shrugged again, leaving the sentence hanging.  
  
Sanji threw his head back with a huff upon hearing those words. He knew Zoro was stubborn and cared about him, but there was simply no way he could tell him anything. "It'll pass, Marimo..." he nodded "It'll go away and leave me alone, at some point." then he brought the cup to his lips to finish off what little water was left inside, and whispered "Hopefully."  
  
Zoro sighed out of frustration, probably the most common feeling he could get while around Sanji. "You know, I've been seriously worried for you up until now." then with a head tilt he added "Worried and angry, both. But now?" he raised his eyebrows and jabbed a thumb behind him "After the episode inside?" Zoro's expression turned into his most serious scowl as he went on "Now I'm scared. It was scary seeing you like that. I hadn't seen you in that state in years, and something bad must be going on, and I have all the rights to ask you what is it."  
  
Sanji had rarely heard Zoro speak so much to him, as of lately, and it felt kind of weird. In a good way, though. Zoro was right, he knew him so well and could read him like a book. Sanji thought that maybe Zoro didn't know him well enough to think what he could be really capable of – or maybe, the thought of Sanji doing something as despicable as what he had done couldn't even cross Zoro's mind. That made sense, after all. You always try not to fantasize about the worst part of the people you love and care about.   
  
"Of course you got your rights, but I told you... It's an odd moment of my life, and I'm the only one who can deal with it." Sanji replied in a tired tone. Because that's what he was: tired. Tired of grieving and lying, but he had brought it upon himself and he couldn't really complain that much.  
  
A small, hollow smile curled Zoro's lips as he looked down at the ground. That little smile made Sanji's heart sink to his stomach. It was a knowing one and a disappointed one, and it hurt to see it. But Sanji couldn't do anything, he couldn't fess up, couldn't even kiss that tiny smile away. The blond raised his free hand, and brought his fingertips to Zoro's lips in an affectionate gesture – it was the only way Sanji had to erase that painful expression.  
  
Zoro's eyes shot back up at the feeling of Sanji's fingertips against his lips. The smile fell, replaced by a look of mild surprise and some kind of relief. Zoro grabbed Sanji's wrist gently, then proceeded to kiss each one of the five soft pads presented to him.  
  
Sanji's jaw slacked, his face heating up despite the freezing cold, and that stupid fluttering in his stomach came back to torment him. He couldn't help but move his hand to cup Zoro's cheek and gently thumb at his cheekbone, he watched the other man lean into the touch, and Sanji's heart went wild.   
  
He was _so_ fucked.

It could have literally taken a single motion for Sanji to pull Zoro into the breath taking kiss that he was actually fantasizing about. A swift tug on the back of Zoro's head and their lips would have crashed together, maybe Zoro would have put up a fight, but Sanji would have made sure to make him melt in the kiss and wish for the rest world to stop existing once and for all.  
  
Maybe he should have done it, if everything was meant to be ruined then he should have ruined it in the best of ways. His ratiocination had flown out of the window the moment Zoro had kissed his fingertips, along with his self control. Sanji's hand shifted to tangle with the hair on the back of Zoro's head, but he hesitated.  
  
Zoro's eyes went wide, maybe filled with panic, in the dim orange light Sanji couldn't quite make out the actual color of Zoro's cheeks, but he was pretty sure they were as flushed as his own.   
  
"Cook..." the word died on Zoro's lips, and his neck stiffened as he clearly offered resistance.  
  
Sanji shook his head slightly, as if trying to tell Zoro not to ask any question, then twirled a few strands of green hair around his digits, tugging softly.

Was it fair, after what he had done? Was it the right thing to do? Sanji didn't know, he didn't even think about it, he was exposed, his defenses lowered as the raw need for Zoro's entire being pervaded his body like a drug. He tilted his head just slightly, adjusting his position to fit Zoro's, and just when he was leaning in, a voice broke the spell.  
  
"Guys! You're up for sound check!"  
  
Both Zoro and Sanji flinched away from one another, and their heads whipped in the direction of the door, where a shocked Usopp was staring at them all wide eyes and slacked jaw.  
  
"Shit! Sorry!" Usopp's dark cheeks flushed as he hurriedly got back inside.  
  
"Usopp!" Sanji called out, thrusting a hand in the direction of the door as if he could grab Usopp and stop him.  
  
Sanji's face was probably redder than ever, and now that he looked at Zoro's unreadable expression he couldn't help but feel like the biggest idiot on earth. What the fuck was he doing? How did that thought even graze his mind? How could he even think that it was okay to try and kiss him just like that? And they were both completely sober! If Sanji could get anymore stupid, then his brain would have melted out of his ears.  
  
"We should, uh–" Sanji started, trying to avoid looking directly at Zoro as he gestured towards the door. He felt like his tongue was knotted, and there was no way he could utter anything that could make sense. Unable to speak further, he casually looked down at the hand where he had forgotten he was holding his cup of water and found the cup completely crushed in his hand, dripping with what little was left of the liquid. He dropped the crumpled, deformed plastic cup on the asphalt.  
  
Zoro was staring at him, he could feel his gaze bore a hole into his forehead, but Sanji hadn't got the courage to hold his gaze. He wanted to run, flee the venue and not have to face Zoro for as long as he could, but that wasn't an option.  
  
"What were you–" Zoro started, and a horrendous chill ran through Sanji's spine.   
  
"Don't." Sanji shook his head with both eyes firmly squeezed shut.  
  
"Cook." Zoro's voice was deeper than ever, and made Sanji shake from his very core.  
  
Sanji shook his head once again and pushed past Zoro in a hurry to get inside the venue, he bumped his shoulder into the doorjamb and muttered a curse.   
  
Great. Now Zoro was going to avoid him for the rest of their days. What was Sanji even turning into? The crazy drunk and sober kisser. He'd fucked up so many times already that he had no idea of how Zoro could still cope with him.  
  
Usopp was nowhere to be seen, he was probably in his workstation with Franky, working on the lights and the sound. Good, at least he wouldn't have to face him. Ace was adjusting the strap of his guitar, and as soon as he spotted Sanji he quickly went on stage to avoid him. Of course, he didn't want Sanji to speak to him.  
  
"Luffy, stop eating for a goddamn second!" Nami's shout made Sanji snap out of his thoughts, and also turn in the direction of the keyboardist and bassist.  
  
"But I'm hungry, and I need energy to play a show!" Luffy whined with pizza crust poking out of his lips.  
  
Nami groaned in frustration and threw her head back "You're impossible to deal with!" she caught a glimpse of Sanji and raised an eyebrow "There you are! I thought you ran away, or something!"  
  
Sanji smiled softly and shook his head "I could never..."  
  
"You better not." Nami answered, dry, then jerked her head towards the stage "Let's go, we lost a lot of time!" she quickly hopped on stage.  
  
"Let's go, Sanji!" Luffy grinned, wiped his greasy hands on his jeans, then grabbed his bass and went on stage.  
  
Sanji cleared his throat and took a few calming breaths, he hoped to his good stars that his voice wouldn't fail him, then went on stage himself.   
  
Ace was thoroughly avoiding to make eye contact with him. Sanji walked up to his mic stand, the entire lineup of Freakshow were right in front of the stage, together with Vivi and Brook cheering them on. He heard a few heavy steps behind him, and he didn't even have to turn around to know that Zoro had finally joined them on stage. Now he seriously wanted to vomit.  
  
"I think we should start with _I Come With Knives_ , we never did it live before." Sanji spoke into the mic, turning just slightly to see Nami's nod of approval, and then she started out the song.

There was a small bridge at the beginning of the song, a stanza written in German that was Nami's job to sing since it was a feminine voice, that only served to give Sanji a couple more moments to breathe and hopefully slip into the right mindset to sing.  
  
It never actually took much effort for Sanji to slide in and be completely enraptured by any IAMX songs, since he had always felt like the singer and author of the songs, Chris Corner, was a kindred soul. There were so many lyrics that spoke to Sanji on a spiritual level, they felt like words spilled directly from Sanji's mind, it was scary sometimes, Chris sang about so many issues that sounded so much like Sanji's. That was why he loved IAMX and why he put them even above Nightwish, they had come up with the soundtrack of his life.  
  
Even that time, Sanji had decided to express his feeling through _I Come With Knives_ , because it represented him and his turmoil perfectly. It was a song that spoke about how being in love is an agony, about being scared of love and not exactly being great at it. Definitely something that Sanji had never wanted to sing about, love had never been contemplated, nor romance, and that was the very first time he sang something like that for an audience. The oddest part was that no one had teased him about it, but it was probably because they had never paid attention to the lyrics and only to the melody.  
  
Sanji sang the first couple lines of the lyrics and his body had already been pervaded by them, he had turned into his usual confident self, his body moving with the elegance and sensuality of a feline as he followed the rhythm of the song while the stronger drum line suggested that the chorus was about to start.  
  
 _"I never promised you an open heart or a charity. I never wanted to abuse your imagination."_  
  
This alone was scarily accurate, Sanji knew and remembered perfectly all the times he had made out with Zoro while being intoxicated and out of his mind. Still it was something he'd never be open about, and something he'd never do while sober.  
  
 _"I come with knives, I come with knives, and agony. To love you."_  
  
Sanji's voice trembled slightly, but he managed to keep it steady. He was possessed by the song, not just by its music, but by its meaning, and as he sang his heart out, pouring out all his frustration and pain, he didn't notice the faults in Zoro's playing.  
  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
The sound check may have started out well, but as it went on the nervousness and tension that had built up through the days became unbearable, turning most songs into musical disasters.  
  
Sanji and Ace kept avoiding each other, and also throwing sharp remarks to one another, disrupting their chemistry and making everyone more and more frustrated.   
  
Even Freakshow, Vivi and Brook noticed how everything was absolutely off with them and were appalled by what they were witnessing. Those weren't The Crows they were used to see perform, they were a bunch of angry people attempting to play songs and failing miserably at that.   
  
They left the stage for Freakshow to do their own sound check earlier than they were supposed to and Sanji was the first one to run off the stage like it burnt him. Zoro trailed behind everyone else, glowering down at the wooden floor as if it had personally insulted him.  
  
There were too many thoughts on Zoro's mind, they were so many that they didn't even make sense, like a crowd of people all screaming at him and leaving him unable to make out anything that was being said. Still he knew that the connection between all those thoughts and their focus was obviously Sanji. Sanji and how impossible he was. Solving a Rubik Cube with one hand while being blindfolded would have probably been an easier task to accomplish than understanding Sanji.  
  
Zoro was still numb from what had happened outside the backdoor of the venue, when he had felt so incredibly warm in the cold of the night. Sanji was going to kiss him, and that was the biggest certainty Zoro had, still it had taken Sanji so little to snap back to his senses and run away... Like he always did.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Freakshow started their sound check the moment they hopped on stage after Murder Of Crows, they hadn't exchanged a single word with them, only small smiles that barely hid the disconcert they felt for the terrible performance the Crows had pulled.   
  
Zoro could safely admit what had been his reason for playing so horribly, after his moment with Sanji, once he had got on stage behind his drum set and Sanji had decided to start out with _I Come With Knives_ , Zoro had really paid attention to the lyrics for the first time. It was unbelievable, Sanji was singing about being in love for the first time in his entire life, he had actually chosen on his own free will to bring that song to life for their gig and that made such a huge difference.  
  
The small pieces of the puzzle that was Sanji's behavior were slowly starting to fall into place. It didn't make things easier, especially not when Sanji ran and hid away at any given chance, making it impossible for Zoro to confront him about anything at all.  
  
So Sanji was in love, or more possibly he was trying to fight against that foreign sentiment, there was indeed someone and he was making it even too clear. But why avoid speaking about it the way he did? Knowing Sanji he was probably ashamed of it. He had always repelled everything romantic, just being around couples disgusted him, having this kind of feelings now must have been a nightmare for him.  
  
But Zoro would never make fun of him. Well maybe a little, he'd tease the hell out of him in a normal situation, but Zoro was in love with Sanji, so he wouldn't even have the strength to make even the smallest of remarks if Sanji were to tell him the name of the person he had fallen for. Fuck, he felt nauseous only thinking about that.  
  
He was completely torn between wanting to speak to Sanji again and having no desire to find out anything to preserve what little was left of his sanity. Not that he was sure he'd even tear any kind of answer from Sanji, Zoro was probably more likely to squeeze water out of a stone. He wouldn't even have actual time alone with Sanji before the concert would have been over, since they had to hurry and get ready and... Since Sanji was nowhere to be seen at the moment.  
  
"What the fuck was that?" Nami growled out loud all of a sudden, making Zoro snap out of his thoughts. "We fucking sucked up there! What's going on with you fucking idiots?" her face was warped with anger, her cheeks flushed red as she scolded her bandmates.  
  
Ace looked down at the floor, scraping the tip of his boot against an old, dusty crate pushed into a dark corner of the backstage.   
  
Luffy shifted uncomfortably from one leg to the other, then let out a sigh "I don't like doing this, but Zoro's mistakes made me lose track of the rhythm and–" he shrugged, shooting Zoro a nervous look.  
  
Zoro hung his head, shamefully. He was perfectly aware of the mess he'd made and how the rhythmic section influenced the rest of the instruments, making everything sound terrible.  
  
"What's Ace's excuse, then?" Nami snarled in the guitarist's direction.  
  
Ace peeked at her through his lashes and his still lowered head, and just shrugged "I was nervous and unfocused, I'm sorry." he grumbled out his apology, and tried to step away from under the spotlight of attention that Nami had pushed him under.  
  
"Well we're all nervous for tonight!" Nami scolded him, then looked at Zoro "And where the fuck is Sanji?!"  
  
Zoro's expression warped with anger. Why in the world would she look directly at him? It wasn't like he was hiding Sanji or anything. "I'm not his damn babysitter! Why are you lookin' at me?" he barked back.  
  
"Don't you dare yelling back at me!" Nami shouted, rage soaking her completely. Then her eyes scanned the rest of the band, as she probably realized that Zoro couldn't always know Sanji's whereabouts "Are you all aware that we cannot fuck up during the actual show?"   
  
An ushered choir of "Yes" lifted from the bashful band members.  
  
"It's normal to be scared and nervous, but you need to focus and do your best!" Nami went on with her speech, then her voice became even more threatening "Don't you dare pulling another half-assed performance like the one from two minutes ago!" she growled, stabbing a finger in the direction of the stage.  
  
"Fuck, no! We'll kill it!" Luffy threw a fist in the air, determination hardening his boyish features as he looked at his bandmates "We're gonna rock this place so hard we're gonna make the walls and floor tremble!"  
  
"Yes, we will!" Nami agreed.  
  
"Absolutely," Ace nodded, but didn't look at anyone in the eye "no more bullshit."  
  
"No more bullshit." Zoro echoed, staring down at the scraped linoleum. He didn't exactly know what he was referring to in particular, because that sentence held more meaning than anyone could think.   
  
"Here you are! Where the hell have you been?" Nami snapped all of a sudden. Zoro lifted his head just in time to see Sanji's pale features appear right beside Nami.  
  
"Sorry, I wasn't feeling too well." Sanji licked his lips and shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"For fuck's sake!" Nami sighed "Are you sick?"  
  
Sanji shook his head "Not anymore, I'm fine now." he cracked her a soft smile.  
  
"Okay." she pursed her lips and clapped a hand on his shoulder "If you fuck up during the gig I'll kill you myself." she nodded, then gestured for Vivi to follow her towards the changing rooms.  
  
Zoro looked at Sanji, but the blond was way too good at avoiding his gaze. He would have wanted to know if Sanji had really been sick, but by the look on his face he could tell that he probably hadn't lied.  
  
"You guys will do just great, I'm sure of it!" Brook tried to reassure them with a big grin plastered on his lips "Anxiety will pull nasty jokes during rehearsals, but you'll be perfect during the actual show!"  
  
"Brook's right, bros! You're gonna kill it, out there!" Franky gave them a thumbs up "The audience's gonna make it easier!"  
  
"If not... Then Franky and I will simply kill the lights and speakers." Usopp shrugged with an unimpressed look on his face.  
  
Luffy shoved him "Shut your face!"  
  
"Let's get changed, yeah?" Sanji suggested as he rubbed the back of his neck and turned on his heels.  
  
That was going to be a long, long night.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The boys got ready in a quite deafening silence, the only things that could be heard were the rustling of fabrics, the stomping of boots and the clicking of eyeshadow cases being popped open.   
  
Zoro shot fleeting glances around him at regular intervals, studying everyone's body languages and trying to milk some information from them. Nervousness was the most common sensation that radiated from the other three guys, even if Luffy looked like the most determined of them all. It didn't come as a surprise, of course, Luffy was born an optimist and he always looked at the bright side of things, even if the light was dim and feeble. Zoro should have learned to be at least half as positive as his brother, at certain times of his life.  
  
Ace looked like he was about to either throw up or pass out half of the time, and Zoro was starting to be seriously worried about him. So much that at one point, as he peeked at Ace from the corner of the mirror that Zoro was using to do his make up, he turned around to stare at the guy holding onto the edge of the bench he was sitting onto as if he was going to slip off of it at any moment.  
  
"Ace, are you okay?" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, and noticed the way in which Sanji had perked up while silently styling his hair.   
  
Luffy too, turned around to look at his brother, and stopped strapping on his boots to stare at him in concern. "Jesus, Ace! You look like death!"  
  
Ace rolled his eyes "I'm just fine, leave me alone." he sighed, then rubbed at his sweaty forehead "It's just–" he tugged off the sleeveless top he had worn earlier, and dropped it over his bag "It's suffocating in here, I'll be outside." he stood up, avoiding any kind of eye contact, and quickly left the room, leaving no choice of answer to the others.  
  
Zoro and Luffy exchanged weirded out looks, then the youngest stood up from his seat and placed a hand over his chest.  
  
"I'll try talking to him, you just finish getting ready." Luffy waved a hand in Zoro's direction.  
  
"Just leave him be!" Sanji suddenly spoke up, making the two brothers turn their heads towards him. Sanji shrugged a shoulder, blending brush in his fingers as he focused on shading his eyeshadow. "He's an adult, he probably just needs some fresh air. He's right it's suffocating in this room," he huffed, fixing a small smudge on the corner of his eye "and it stinks too. The owner might wanna take better care of cleaning."  
  
Zoro remained quiet. Sanji did have a point, a selfish one at that, but it was true that the changing room they gave them sucked, still it was a bit strange that Ace would react like that.  
  
"He's our brother, we must look out for him." Luffy retorted, and that threatening sort of look warped his delicate features.  
  
"He's also an adult and his own person, he's shitting himself for tonight. That's all there is." Sanji went on with a kind of bored tone of voice.  
  
"Well, he's been weird these past days, too, and I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with tonight." Luffy insisted, fists clenching by his sides.  
  
Sanji placed the brush down on the stool he had been using as a makeshift console, and leaned closer to the mirror to check for more smudges and faults in his make up "Well today's today, and we all know how bad we did during sound check." he pulled back to shoot a blank glance to Luffy and added "I'm not so calm, myself. Fuck knows what will happen during the actual concert."  
  
Zoro was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable about the entire situation, and the last thing the band really needed was having a real fight, and as he passively witnessed the exchange between Sanji and Luffy his spider senses were definitely tingling.  
  
"Alright, knock it off. Both of you." Zoro spread his arms "Are you really gonna pull an argument at this very moment?" he shook his head in bewilderment "We're going on stage in less than an hour, we cannot afford to be mad at each other." he looked straight into Sanji's eyes, and the blond averted his gaze right away.  
  
"No, you're right," Luffy cut in "Ace probably doesn't even wanna be bugged, right now." his expression hadn't changed, though, and neither had his tone of voice. He sat back down and automatically started to finish getting ready.  
  
Zoro knew that Luffy was still angry, he could see him boiling underneath the surface but there was nothing he could actually do, so he just nodded and went back to finish doing his own make up in silence.   
  
He had no clue how they were going to get through that night without a major failure, but only thinking about Murder Of Crows crumbling and falling to pieces over small, petty things made him so incredibly angry. They were so much more than that, they couldn't just give up at the first signs of difficulties. Zoro wasn't going to allow it to happen, that band was the most important thing he had.

Zoro couldn't help but notice the swift change in Sanji's attitude, he was back to his usual almost apathetic self, Zoro hadn't seen that side of him for some time now, but while it was worrisome, it was also something that Zoro couldn't really put too much thought into, at the moment. Not to mention that they weren't alone, and he certainly couldn't ask Sanji anything while Luffy was there with them.  
  
"I'm finished here," Sanji announced casually, and started collecting all his makeup products from the stool and carefully storing them back in an inner pocket of his duffel bag.  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow, not exactly expecting the other man to speak to him at all, left alone for a pointless announcement like that. "'Kay..." Zoro murmured as he gathered his stuff and moved to place them all in his bag, and fishing out a pair of drumsticks in exchange.  
  
He watched as Sanji theatrically wrapped a black feathery boa around his shoulders and walked past him, carefully avoiding any exchange of glances. Sanji pulled the door open in a secure motion and left the changing room, no hesitation, no second thoughts.   
  
Zoro turned to look at Luffy, who had clearly finished getting ready even before Sanji did, but he hadn't moved from his seat and looked as though he was trying to bore a hole into the floor with his glare.  
  
"You okay?" Zoro asked as he sat down beside him, trying to keep his tone casual. He knew too well how much Luffy disliked pity, so the last thing he wanted was to sound like a worried dad to his little brother.  
  
"I just have a bad feeling." Luffy grumbled, not lifting his eyes from the floor.  
  
Zoro's grip on the drum sticks tightened, and the hair on the back of his neck prickled. He too had an awful feeling, about way too many things, so knowing that Luffy shared – at least partly – his discomfort, worried him.  
  
"About tonight?" Zoro tried, running his pierced tongue between his chapped lips.  
  
Luffy shook his head "No," he paused, taking a breath and balling his hands into fists "or maybe even about tonight, I don't know." he finally raised his gaze on Zoro and scowled at him "Something's awfully off."  
  
Zoro swallowed thickly. He clenched his jaw and nodded slowly, turning his head to stare blankly at the wall across from them.   
  
"It's like a storm's brewing, and not even too far off into the distance." Luffy went on in a calm, yet extremely serious voice.  
  
Zoro rolled his shoulders and tipped his head back, a long sigh left his lips as he tried to ease off the tension in his body. "I know." he revealed to his little brother, and not too short after he felt a hand resting upon his knee. Zoro looked down at it, then turned back to face Luffy, and instead of the stoic expression from before, he found renewed determination.  
  
"We're fighters, we can fight off the storm." Luffy nodded, patting Zoro's knee.  
  
Zoro raised his eyebrows, a small, lopsided smile tugging at the corner of his mouth "You can bet your ass we will." Luffy was right, they were fighters and no matter what was going to happen they weren't going to let anything beat them, it just wasn't in their nature.  
  
Luffy stood up from the bench and jerked his head in the direction of the door "Let's go, it's getting late."   
  
"Yep." Zoro got up himself and followed his brother out of the room.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
The backstage felt incredibly crowded and suffocating, like the amount of people dwelling it had doubled in the meantime, even though it wasn't true. Everyone was buzzing with anxiety and nervousness, bouncing on the spot or trying to get the right amount of booze in their body that would soothe their nerves but keep them lucid enough to perform.   
  
Now, that sounded like a great idea to Zoro, if the amount of alcohol that it would take him to actually get to that point, wouldn't also fill his bladder up to the brim and the last thing that Zoro needed was risking to wet himself on stage.

 

Something suddenly caught Zoro's attention, making him temporarily forget about getting tipsy: Eustass was pacing back and forth on the same spot, looking like one of those cartoon characters that at one point would start consuming the floor and digging a hole with their feet. Trafalgar was staring at him with his usual unimpressed expression, but it looked as though he was waiting for the right time to kick out his leg and trip his partner.  
  
"Walking back and forth like a captive hamster isn't going to make him get here faster, you know that?" Bonney broke the silence, clearly annoyed by the redhead's pacing.  
  
"He's really fucking late! Did he die?" Kidd growled, stopping momentarily to answer Bonney "I thought he'd be more punctual, at least because of his fucking favorite band!" he gestured in the general direction of the members of Murder Of Crows, then resumed his pacing.  
  
"If you don't sit down like the rest of us, I'll cripple you myself." Law threatened in his low, harsh tone, but it was like talking to a wall.  
  
"I'll kill him. He's a shitty tech and an even shittier brother." Kidd went on, as if no one had actually spoken to him.  
  
Zoro's eyebrows shot up, now he understood. Amid the hurricane of things that had come crashing down on Zoro, that night, he hadn't even had the mind to notice that Bartolomeo was missing. He wasn't there. Zoro couldn't even say that the atmosphere was calm and relaxed in his absence, but he could only imagine how Sanji would have been like if Bartolomeo had been around.  
  
Zoro had probably been the only witness to Freakshow's little banter about Bartolomeo being MIA, since his friends seemed to be more interested in sharing liquors, and Sanji was doing his breathing exercises in a corner. If the blond had been awful up until then, Zoro didn't even want to think about what was going to happen when Barto was going to show up.  
  
Zoro checked the time on the huge metal clock hanging on the wall above the relax area. Thirty more minutes and they'd have to get on stage. If Zoro focused hard enough on the noise coming from the stage area, muffled by Deathstar's _Death Dies Hard_ (one of Freakshow most famous covers, what a surprise), he could hear the loud, excited chatting of the fans who had crowded the venue.  
  
He began to nervously drum his sticks on his own thighs, the hoodie he was wearing was starting to feel too warm in his state, but he needed to wait just a little longer before he could actually peel it off. Zoro shut his eyes, his wrists moving on their own as he continued playing an imaginary drum set, his breathing evened out as he managed to reach a calm state of mind. Bless Mihawk for teaching him about meditation, even if he was never going to seriously thank him out loud.  
  
Zoro was envisioning himself sitting in a hot spring, relaxing in the warm water and letting go of all the poisonous thoughts and fears that had been haunting him until that very moment. He was just about to slide further deep into the water, when a loud bang abruptly brought him back to reality and made his eyes snap open.  
  
"I am terribly sorry! But I couldn't get off work on time and Roci suddenly texted me about wanting to see the concert, so I had to pick him up! And then he caught his clothes and hair on fire at least three times in the fucking car!"  
  
Zoro's eyes flew by the back door, where a disheveled and flustered Bartolomeo stood with an unknown, tall person. Zoro still hadn't processed the entirety of Barto's verbal diarrhea, but by the crumpled, darkened strand of hair hanging by the side of the stranger's head and the couple of burnt patches on both the man's shirt and black feathered coat, Zoro could tell that he was one of the reasons why Barto had run late.  
  
Everyone was staring at the two men by the door, and the blond just threw a peace sign after flicking up his shades.  
  
"I've come to see you, Law!" the man announced triumphant, in a tone way louder than necessary.  
  
Everyone's heads turned in the direction of Law, who was blushing so violently that Zoro thought he would pass out.  
  
"Cora, what the fuck?" Trafalgar sneered between gritted teeth.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows. He might not have heard perfectly the entire excuse that Barto had uttered, but he was pretty sure he had referred to the mystery man as Roci, and not Cora.  
  
"Don't be so rude to him!" Bonney slapped the back of Law's head, then walked up to Roci with her arms spread out, ready to envelop him into a hug. "It's so nice to see you, Roci! It's been too long!"  
  
Again, they switched names. Zoro watched as Bonney and the blond man hugged, then quickly glanced over at Sanji. He had stopped his exercises, of course, and if looks could kill, then Bartolomeo would be already dead, judging by Sanji's glare.  
  
"You seem like a funny guy, and you know Tra-guy, too!" Luffy cut in as he stepped closer to Roci, or Cora. "Who are you?" he cracked one of his biggest grin.  
  
Zoro watched the man mimic the same grin as Luffy, and his chest inflated with pride as he pointed at Law and declared "I'm his dad!"  
  
"No shit." Nami's jaw literally dropped to the floor, and that was pretty much the same way all the Crows reacted.  
  
"No way, you're Tra-guy's dad?!" Luffy asked with wide eyes "You look so much nicer than him!"  
  
"I heard that!" Law barked from his seat.

Law's father's real name was still a mystery to Zoro, but he watched as he waved a hand in a dismissive way and kept grinning in his son's direction. He must have really loved his son, but at the same time it made Trafalgar incredibly uncomfortable – Zoro could relate to that, having Shanks as a parent.  
  
"He's a very good kid, he just doesn't like to show it."   
  
"I'm not a kid anymore, Cora." Law growled lowly, his cheekbones getting redder by the moment.  
  
"We know that, by now." Luffy nodded, the huge smile from before still present.  
  
Now that Zoro really thought about it, _'Cora'_ really did remind him of Shanks somehow, minus the setting fire to himself part, of course. That was probably why Luffy seemed to be so drawn to him, apart from the fact that he really liked Law.  
  
"Why did you come, anyway?" Law huffed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"Because I wanted to see my son and his friends play, of course!" Cora answered promptly, as if Law's was the silliest question ever asked.  
  
"Looks like someone won't be doing much lecherous stuff tonight." Killer teased, and instantly received a heavy smack to the chest from a flustered Kidd, that knocked the wind from him.  
  
Cora laughed, throwing back his head so hard that he lost his balance and fell backwards, missing the wall with his head of just a few inches.  
  
"Fuck! Be careful!" Bartolomeo cried out as he quickly bent over to help the man back up.  
  
"I'm alright, I'm alright!" Cora repeated as he managed to stand back up with Barto's aid, apparently unharmed.  
  
"Whoa! Are you alright, old man?" Luffy asked as he too had sprinted forward to help him.  
  
"Yeah, yeah! I just lost my balance. No biggie!" Cora gave Luffy a thumbs up as he grinned at him.  
  
Zoro had no idea as to how Law and his father could be so absurdly different, but he liked it. Though Law was definitely not as thrilled as him, when Zoro caught a glimpse of him springing to his feet and scrambling away as he muttered under his breath.  
  
Bonney sniggered and patted Cora's shoulder vigorously "Don't worry, Law's happy to see you here, he's just a fucking child who gets embarrassed to have people who love him around."  
  
Cora's smile faltered for a second, but he managed to keep it up as he nodded to the girl "I know that! He isn't fond of surprises, either."  
  
"Well, it was definitely a pleasant surprise for us!" Nami dared cutting in with a warm smile "We're really happy to have met you!"  
  
Cora was about to say something when Sanji stormed by him, cursing and disappearing back inside the changing room. Everyone stared at the door that had just been slammed in utter confusion, but Zoro perfectly knew what had gone down. Sanji had been used to live with Zoro and his family all his life, but when it came to seeing other people's parents being so openly loving to their kids, it triggered in him the same effect as couples did.  
  
Zeff wasn't a bad father, he loved his son to bits and pieces, but he wasn't the kind of person who'd remind it to him, he tended to be hard on Sanji and because of his own problems he wasn't really there for Sanji when he was a child and he was grieving the death of his mother.  
  
Seeing Cora and Law was probably the last thing Sanji needed that night, not to mention the fact that Bartolomeo too had made his apparition. Zoro and the others could only pray for the concert to go as well as they wished, because by the way things were at that moment, they couldn't be so sure.  
  
The only thing that Zoro could think about in that moment, though, was that if Sanji and Law met in that delicate moment... Zoro's eyes flew to Kidd, and the expression on his face was as concerned as Zoro felt. Yeah, nothing could keep Law and Sanji away from each other, especially not after passively lashing out the way they had.

Zoro couldn't stay there, knowing that Sanji and Law could just slam each other against a wall and get to business real quick, he knew he couldn't see them, but there was just a door dividing him from them – and a few rooms too, but the concept was the same.   
  
He looked in his bandmate's direction, and found Nami, Vivi and Usopp awkwardly staring at him, as if they expected him to burst into whatever fit he found more appropriate, and for the first time Ace looked almost relaxed. Zoro furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, wondering if his brother was ever going to stop being unreasonably odd and go back to his regular self.  
  
"I'll uh..." Cora broke the awful silence, and the general attention flew back to him "I'll just go out there," he gestured for the door that would have brought him to the pit of the venue "I'll see you from the crowd." he gave a thumbs up and walked out.  
  
"I didn't think you were gonna bring him." Bonney crossed her arms under her breasts as she looked at Bartolomeo.  
  
He shrugged "Neither did I, it wasn't planned." Barto threw Zoro a fleeting glance, then looked over at Kidd "Didn't think Law would get so upset."  
  
Eustass rolled his eyes "He's a fucking child when it comes to these things, he gets embarrassed." he shifted in his seat, and casually slapped Killer's arm with the back of his hand to get his attention "Speaking of which... Go fetch him. Tell him Cora isn't backstage anymore."  
  
"He's not gonna set the audience on fire, is he?" Usopp chimed in, worried.  
  
"He nearly set me on fire..." Bartolomeo shrugged, leaving his sentence open.  
  
"If only!" Kidd sighed, as he looked up at the ceiling.  
  
"Fuck you!" Bartolomeo cried, but didn't move from his spot.  
  
Kidd grinned, but didn't add anything else, he just turned back to Killer "Why are you still here?" he scowled.  
  
"I don't wanna walk in on people fucking," Killer said awkwardly, his long blond bangs always conveniently covering his eyes.  
  
"Oh God, grow the fuck up, you toddlers!" Bonney growled and started in the direction of the changing rooms.  
  
Zoro accidentally exchanged an uncomfortable glance with Kidd, and decided it would be a lot better to play with and stare at his drum sticks, while they waited for Sanji and Law to re-emerge.   
  
He didn't even know how he felt in that very moment, the pans of jealousy hurt like razor blades cutting deeply into his flesh, but there was this general sense of confusion and annoyance that promptly cauterized the smallest wounds. Zoro was starting to think that Sanji didn't actually know what he wanted, but Zoro was tired to be the victim of his indecisiveness or whatever was going on in his mind.

"Hey..." a feeble, raspy voice called out from beside Zoro, and even without moving his gaze from the sticks he was twirling around he knew who it was.  
  
If Bartolomeo hadn't launched himself at his brother it was only because he was trying to slide as close to Zoro as possible, and Zoro had obviously seen it coming.   
  
"I thought you weren't gonna come." Zoro blurted out, not knowing how it might have sounded. A phrase like that could've meant that he either hoped Barto was or wasn't going to actually get there, Zoro wasn't the type to sugarcoat everything for others so he didn't make things clearer afterwards, he just kept playing around with the drum sticks.  
  
"Ah," Barto reared back for a moment, then let out a small chuckle "I'm Freakshow's tech, I must always follow them for shows, so..." he shrugged, unsure.  
  
Zoro nodded, still not looking at him "I know that, but still... People can get sick or something."   
  
Bartolomeo chuckled again, sounding more nervous than before "Yeah, right... Well I'm fine, I was just late."  
  
Zoro nodded "That's alright, you still made it on time." he didn't really know what to tell him because his mind was way too focused on his own business, he was already imagining the disheveled state in which Sanji and Law could be and that was enough for anger to brew inside of him.  
  
"Yes, I did." Bartolomeo finally went silent and began to stare at Zoro's hands.  
  
Zoro knew what he still had coming, Bartolomeo had been pretty adamant in wanting to speak with him, but the last thing Zoro needed in that moment was having someone to confess they had feelings for him. He just hoped Bartolomeo would understand on his own that it wasn't time, that Zoro needed to be left alone to slip into the right mindset to play a show, and not someone to tell him about their unrequited love.  
  
"Murder Of Crows, you're up in five!" a voice suddenly brought Zoro back to reality, and made a shiver ran up his spine. When he lifted his head he saw the back of the person who had just informed them, as they disappeared again.  
  
"Oh! I'm gonna watch you from the front row!" Bartolomeo suddenly cried out "I asked the other guys from the fanbase to keep a spot for me!"   
  
Zoro finally looked over at him and at his huge grin, and in that moment he was reminded of how much Bartolomeo loved Murder Of Crows as a band, as a whole, and that it was also thanks to him that The Crows were finally, even if slowly, climbing up the staircase of fame.  
  
Zoro smiled and clapped a hand on Bartolomeo's shoulder "You go out there and don't miss a thing." he smirked.  
  
Bartolomeo literally vibrated under Zoro's touch, his eyes bright and about the size of the moon as he nodded at the drummer "You're all gonna be awesome, and everyone will love you!"  
  
Zoro laughed and hung his head for a moment "Hopefully."  
  
Bartolomeo shook his head, hesitating for a moment, then pulled Zoro in a bone crushing hug before fleeing from the backstage in a rush of adrenaline. Zoro stood still, kind of dazed, as he watched Bartolomeo disappear at the speed of light. Lately he tended to forget how things were before they changed, how Bartolomeo was just one of The Crow's fans, a person he'd only ever see when his band played a gig, and some things were a tad bit less complicated. It seemed a time so far away now, but really, things had only happened incredibly fast, just like a marble placed on a slant.  
  
A sudden bang startled Zoro back to reality, and when he turned his head in the direction of the door he saw Bonney and Law coming out.  
  
"Where is he, now?" Zoro caught Law murmuring, as he pulled the visor of his forage cap further over his eyes.  
  
"I told you, he's outside in the crowd getting a drink." Bonney singsonged, as if she had had to repeat that information more than once.  
  
Law started shedding part of his uniform, and handed Bonney both his cap and his jacket "I'll be back for our performance." he assured as he quickly shrugged on a sweater he had been holding in his hand and pulled up the hood.  
  
"Oi, don't be late." Kidd chimed in, a severe expression hardening his features.  
  
"I'm not your brother." Law replied, but Zoro failed to see his face as he made his way out.  
  
"He isn't the shitty son he wants people to believe." Bonney smirked, then looked over at Zoro with the same amused expression "And don't worry, I didn't find him with his dick anywhere near your singer. They weren't even together."   
  
Zoro stiffened and felt the blood quickly rushing to his face. Why the hell would she tell him something like that? Why was his concern so obvious to everybody and probably their mothers, too?  
  
"Good." was all Zoro could manage to say as he nodded and tried to look as uninterested as possible. He twirled one of his drum sticks around his fingers and stepped ahead, closer to his friends.   
  
"I'm here, I'm here... We can go."  
  
Sanji's voice came from behind Zoro, but he didn't turn to look at him, he saw the others nod their heads at him but all Zoro did was place one of his feet on the first step of the small ladder that would have brought him on stage.  
  
"We should really go, Franky!" Usopp cried suddenly, as he realized that the techs should have taken their positions sooner than then.  
  
"Shit! Fuck! Let's go!" Franky gasped and pushed Usopp, so that they could get to work as quickly as they could.

"How can they completely forget about their job?" Nami growled.  
  
"Cut them some slack, babe, they're probably really nervous, too!" Vivi tried to soother her with a sweet smile and a peck on the lips.  
  
Nami sighed "I wish they were all just like me." she shook her head.  
  
"Zoro's boobs are nearly as big as yours, if that counts." Luffy chimed in casually as he fixed the strap of his bass. Upon hearing that, Ace masked his amused smirk by fiddling with the strings of his guitar.  
  
Zoro's eyes widened "What the fuck?! And they're not boobs!" he barked to his brother.  
  
"None of us is as perfect as you, Nami. We're just unworthy!" Sanji grabbed her hand, and Nami shook it away.   
  
"I know it all too well." Nami cracked her wrists and each one of her fingers, easing the tension in her limbs to perform at best. "And don't you all dare doing the horror you did during sound check, or I'll slay you with my bare hands."  
  
"We'll be great, Nami! Don't worry!" Luffy nodded resolute, but with a huge grin plastered on his face.  
  
"Are you gonna go up on stage wearing a hoodie?" Sanji was suddenly very close to Zoro as he tugged on the hem of his hoodie, and Zoro had finally taken up the courage to look at him "That's a first. You nudist."   
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and quickly got rid of his hoodie and tossed it to Sanji "If you wanted to see my muscles and tattoo you only had to ask." and with that Zoro climbed up on the dark stage to take place by his drum kit.   
  
He had no idea how those words had actually found their way out of his mouth, and by the look on Sanji's face he was sure that no one else actually expected it. Now that he thought about it again he had to bite back a smirk and suppress a chuckle, it couldn't always be Zoro the victim of this kind of teasing.  
  
The rest of the band quickly filled their positions on the unlit stage, careful not to trip over wires and rugs, and as soon as Zoro cued them into _The Crows Are Coming_ , the lights went on and the place caught on fire.  
  
There was no time for extra thoughts, only for the audience and for music, Zoro's mind was quickly drained of everything that didn't concern the performance and felt regenerated, splendid, he felt like himself again.

Since his friends were still quite static in their performance, not running around to one side of the stage to the other, Zoro could clearly see the people in the audience. The front row was all for the Crows: Duval was standing in the middle, singing the lyrics at the top of his lungs, clutching a black rose into his hand – Zoro wasn't sure whether he meant to throw it on stage or simply keep it to his vain self.   
  
By each of Duval's sides were Hancock on his left, blushing and cupping her face every time Luffy looked her way or simply did his backup voice part, while on Duval's right was Perona, she too was singing her heart out, most definitely a couple octaves higher than Sanji. Zoro wasn't feeling threatened by her, not that night when getting on stage had felt so refreshing and revitalizing that he could probably climb up the Mount Everest with not a single problem in the world. Something he found curious though, was the way Perona'd keep eyeing and smiling at the small portion of backstage that could be seen from the front row, so Zoro quickly turned his head to see who she could be interacting with and found Bonney leaning against the frame of the stage access door as she grinned back at her.  
  
 _What the fuck?_  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows in utter confusion, risking to mess up his part as he went back to look at the front row to see if maybe Bartolomeo, who was standing next to Perona, was actually who Bonney was grinning to, but he only saw Bartolomeo jump higher and sing louder in excitement as soon as Zoro laid eyes on him.  
  
Were Bonney and Perona seriously flirting during their concert? That was simply nuts. And Zoro missed a couple beats as he pointlessly wracked his brains over what he had just seen.  
  
"Zoro, for fuck's sake!" Nami sneered lowly from beside him, and he quickly shrugged off those thoughts and focused back on his part.  
  
The performance in its entirety had been perfect, the complete opposite of the awful stunt they'd pulled during the sound check. The venue had an amazing acoustics which made everything even better. Zoro had Ace come and face him as he played during _Blood On The Snow_ , and at one point he even had Sanji and his lecherous moves keep him company by the drums during _The Siren_ , which consecrated him as probably one of the best drummers in the world, because playing while having such a distraction at an arm's reach was one hell of a job.

As the gig went on, Zoro could still notice the ever present tension between Ace and Sanji, there hadn't been a single exchange of any sort, not a shared glance, Sanji didn't let Ace sing from his microphone and of course he never rubbed up against the guitarist – none of their usual concert shenanigans that the crowd appreciated so much.  
  
It wasn't even something Zoro had ever been jealous of, he knew it was all for the sake of the show, Sanji ground up against Luffy as well, the only thing that Zoro didn't find fair was that being confined behind the drums didn't allow him to get that same kind of treatment from Sanji.  
  
Zoro still needed to understand what the hell was going on between those two, and he was going to find out, no matter what. Sanji and Ace had always been great friends, and the sudden change in their relationship was something that Zoro just couldn't wrap his head around. He knew that everyone had their secrets, or at least some things that they didn't want to share with anyone, but this was something big that Zoro needed to absolutely find out.  
  
For the first time ever, they did an interlude during which everyone but Sanji got off stage mid-concert and Brook hopped on with his cello to play _The Rains Of Castamere_ from Game Of Thrones. Zoro would have wanted to approach Ace, but he would have risked upsetting his brother right in the middle of a gig and it wasn't the smartest of moves. He needed to wait until after the show, he could do it, he had waited for so long and he certainly could endure it a bit more.  
  
"This is so good, Brook is magnificent." Nami couldn't help but comment in a soft voice as she listened to the performance being held on stage.  
  
"They're doing great! This sounds so cool! We should upload this on our youtube!" Luffy chimed in all of a sudden, and everyone agreed on it being a great idea.  
  
"Good job, by the way." Nami nodded, moments away from the end of the song "I might spare your lives if you keep up." she added as the song finished and everyone started cheering and applauding.  
  
It was time to get back on stage, and Zoro couldn't help but pat Ace's shoulder and ask, in a neutral and relaxed tone if everything was alright.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Ace nodded, then jerked his head in the direction of the stage "Let's finish this, shall we?" he smiled softly.  
  
Zoro smiled back, feeling slightly relieved by Ace's at least apparent calm "Sure, let's go."  
  
As songs bled into one another, _I Come With Knives_ rolled in, and Sanji's performance was even more compelling than during sound check. His voice was powerful, dripping with raw emotion, and the audience felt it too, they were enraptured and maybe even surprised – probably just as surprised as Zoro, and all in all it was so beautiful that the drummer didn't even realize that his skin was covered in goosebumps by the end.  
  
The end of the show neared, but nothing ever compared to the handful of minutes in which Sanji had truly sang his heart out, Zoro had always loved Sanji's voice, but the range of emotions that he had been able to feel during that IAMX cover was something else. If Zoro hadn't been so busy setting up a rhythm for the song, he would have probably been even more moved by such a performance.   
  
That was Sanji's core, his real self had been on stage for everyone to see, exposed and vulnerable and people knew, Zoro was sure they all knew and they had adored it. That moment was one of the things which reminded Zoro why he loved that boy so much, why Sanji was so special to him, and he was glad that in such a harsh, odd time, Sanji had somehow reminded Zoro of it.  
  
When the lights on the stage went off again, and the screaming and clapping of the audience mixed up with the soft background music that accompanied The Crows off the stage, Zoro felt stupidly happy, filled up with all the adrenaline and bliss that made him wrap his arms around Sanji so hard that he risked cracking one or maybe four of the blond's ribs.  
  
"Ow! OW! OW! You idiot! Let me–" Sanji protested as he was enveloped by Zoro's ridiculously strong arms, then gasped when he was lifted off the floor "What's wrong with you, fucking stupid moss-brained klutz?!" he cried out as he tried to fight off the bear hug.  
  
Zoro let out a bark of laughter, then eased the mortal grip he had wrapped Sanji into. "Nothing, just celebrating the way you didn't royally fuck up." he smirked.  
  
Sanji's eyes widened "How fucking _dare_ you?! I _never_ fuck up, you're the one who does!" he stomped over Zoro's foot with all of his strength.  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow, completely unfazed "Really?"  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, then looked down at Zoro's boots "Fucking steel tip." he muttered, then quickly resorted to a good old fashioned kick in the shin.  
  
"Fuck!" Zoro cried out as he finally backed away from a grinning Sanji.   
  
"You're all sweaty and gross, don't you ever touch me again." Sanji commented in a clearly fake disgusted tone.  
  
"You're not a flower, yourself." Zoro muttered.

Sanji let out a small, throaty laugh, then his gaze got incredibly serious as it strayed past Zoro.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked with a frown, but Sanji only shook his head and went after the person who had walked behind Zoro: Ace.  
  
Ace looked anything but thrilled to have Sanji follow him out of the back door for a smoke, even snatching one from him, but whatever Sanji was telling him was unintelligible to Zoro. He saw Ace tip his head back in exasperation, and Sanji got visibly heated up as he whispered to him, but they disappeared past the door all too soon for Zoro to figure out anything.   
  
He didn't like it, not one bit, they were keeping something from him and now it was even more obvious. It had to be something serious too, and Zoro couldn't quite shake off the sensation that maybe Sanji had started to develop feelings for Ace. It made sense to him, after all, Zoro knew that Sanji had always had a thing for Ace growing up, hell even Zoro's eyes had always been good enough to see the number that puberty had done on Ace.  
  
As all kinds of speculation dripped and pooled inside his brain, Zoro was still aware of the people running around the backstage, getting ready for the next act. He knew his bandmates were celebrating the great show, knew that they were calling out to him, but his head was being raped by thoughts and he couldn't tear himself away from them.  
  
"You guys were mind blowing, holy crap! You-- you just–! Ugh! How do I even begin?"  
  
There was laughter, following that voice that Zoro knew all too well, then he felt a sharp tug to his arm and by that point he really couldn't help but turn his head into that direction, his eyes catching a flash of bright pink as he snapped back to reality. That color certainly didn't match with Bartolomeo's voice.  
  
"I thought you had a stroke or something!" Perona shook her head "We've been calling out for you non-stop! You're ruder than ever!"  
  
Zoro's eyes widened, terror zapping through him like a lightning bolt "W-who allowed you back here?!"  
  
Perona deadpanned up at him and showed him the backstage pass hanging from her neck "I have my connections." she explained casually, as she threw a brief glance towards the stage ladder.  
  
Zoro looked into that same direction to see Bonney speaking with Kidd as she adjusted his tie. Zoro was pretty damn sure that Perona and Kidd wouldn't mix up all that well, so it had to be Bonney and what he had seen during the concert was definitely what he had thought.  
  
"Dude, you were flirting with her while we played." Zoro glared down at the girl, then shook his head "And you claim you're a _Raven_?" he scoffed, folding his arms over his chest.   
  
It was the first time he seriously spoke to her, not that it was entirely his fault, she was the one who couldn't stop shrieking and blabbering about stuffing him into a teddy bear suit. Perona had always creeped him out, even if Nami had always claimed that she was am extremely sweet girl with a few quirks, but who didn't have any?  
  
Perona blushed furiously and punched Zoro's folded arms "Shut up! I _am_ a Raven, I just..." she huffed, clearly distressed.  
  
Zoro sniggered at her discomfort, and this time earned a kick from Perona's huge boots "Ow!"   
  
"Stop making fun of me! Respect your fans!" Perona cried out in the highest of pitches.  
  
Zoro scrunched his nose and pulled a face "Fuck, don't shriek like that!" he looked at her flushed face and shook his head "I just... I didn't see that coming!"  
  
Perona arched a thin eyebrow, her red lips pulling into a smirk as she tilted her head "You thought I liked you in that way, didn't you?"  
  
"W-well... I..." Zoro muttered, quickly dropping his gaze on a random spot on the floor in embarrassment. Yes, he had always thought that Perona was that kind of stalky fan with weird kinks that would say and do embarrassing stuff to get their beloved band member's attention.  
  
Perona rolled her eyes "I never said I wanted to fuck you, I said I wanted to put you into a teddy bear suit!"  
  
Zoro's eyes went back to Perona, and a disturbing thought snapped in his mind "Are you..." he grimaced "Are you into that furry kinda crap?"  
  
"I'm gonna murder you!" Perona yelled as she launched herself at Zoro, probably ready to claw his eyes out.  
  
Bonney and Bartolomeo promptly came to the rescue, tearing one from the other, and after Bonney took Perona away from Zoro she definitely seemed to calm down.  
  
"I seriously thought that was it, I was gonna die." Zoro blinked as he watched Bonney and Perona speak in a corner far from him.  
  
"She's pretty deadly, yeah." Bartolomeo sniggered "Are you alright?"  
  
Zoro nodded "Yeah, don't worry."  
  
"The show was totally awesome, dude!" Bartolomeo swiftly changed subject "I told you it was gonna be legendary! People won't stop talking about you!"  
  
A proud grin threatened to split Zoro's face in two "Really? They do?"  
  
Bartolomeo nodded vehemently "Cross my heart and hope to die!"  
  
Zoro was going to answer to that, maybe with a laugh or something, but whatever it was died in his throat when he saw Sanji and Ace come back inside from their long smoking session. Ace went up to Luffy and Sanji hesitated, throwing Zoro a glance and opting to walk to the changing rooms.  
  
"Sorry I--" Zoro raised a hand, not even looking at Bartolomeo as he decided whether or not he should be going after Sanji.

"You useless piece of shit brother, quit harassing Zoro and do your fucking job!"  
  
Kidd's deep voice roared loud enough for Zoro to come back from his thoughts, it was probably better if he just joined the rest of his friends in celebrating the great show. Obviously not before listening to Bartolomeo barking a colorful string of insults back to his brother, and the hundred apologies that he showered Zoro with.  
  
"It's fine, really. Just go do your thing." Zoro nodded distractedly, then walked up to his friends, leaving Bartolomeo to his tech job.  
  
Nami and Vivi were very busy making out in a remote corner for them to acknowledge the rest of the world, and Luffy was sharing a huge cheese and pepperoni pizza with Ace as they listened to Brook talking about how much he enjoyed playing with them on stage. Zoro spotted his discarded hoodie from before the show earlier, Sanji had thrown it over a crate and Zoro had been actually lucky to find it again, he picked it up and wore it as he walked.  
  
Zoro stopped next to Brook and right in front of Luffy, then clapped a hand on Brook's back, since he was way too tall for Zoro to even reach his shoulder. "You did a pretty amazing job out there, Brook."  
  
Brook's jaw dropped, clearly not used to being praised by the drummer. He couldn't really be blamed, since Zoro hardly complimented anyone "Oh, Zoro! This is such an enormous compliment, coming from you!" Brook cried out, excitedly.  
  
Zoro broke into a crooked smirk and shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"Zoro! Thank you for not making me fuck up during the concert!" Luffy cut in, laughing around his mouthful of pizza.  
  
Zoro turned to stare blankly at him "Be careful not to choke on that."  
  
"How rude! YOHOHOHO!" Brook commented, not failing to laugh himself.  
  
Zoro tapped Ace's boot with his own, succeeding in getting his attention as he chewed on his slice of pizza. "When will you stop being as quiet as a damn tomb? What's wrong?"  
  
Ace shook his head "Nothing? I just don't feel like speaking a lot." he shrugged as he stuffed his mouth with more food, definitely to avoid speaking further.  
  
Zoro and Luffy exchanged a glance and Luffy shook his head briefly, as if to tell his brother that he hadn't succeeded in getting anything out of Ace either.  
  
"Is this about Smoker, still?" Zoro tried, arching an eyebrow.  
  
Ace dropped the half eaten slice of pizza into the box with a groan "Is it really hard to understand that I don't wanna talk? Fuck!" he cried out, leaving the other three men to stare at him dumbfounded.  
  
"Whoa, what is this, now?" Luffy asked with a scowl "We're just worried about you!"  
  
"I know, but–" Ace squeezed his eyes shut, clearly regretting lashing out but still unwilling to share anything with his brothers.  
  
"I know you guys are worried about your brother, but sometimes just being there for him and not speaking is better." Brook dared chiming in, then aimed a small smile in Ace's direction "Am I right, Ace?"  
  
"Yeah..." Ace sighed, nodding as he picked back up his food.  
  
Zoro pursed his lips and scratched the back of his head "Alright, then." he sighed himself. It appeared that nobody felt like talking anymore, maybe not specifically to him but still.  
  
"Okay." Luffy quietly agreed and went on eating. Zoro felt sorry for him, Luffy was always good to everyone, especially his brothers and Zoro thought it was unfair that he had to go through this.  
  
Franky and Usopp joined them shortly after, since they had switched places with Bartolomeo and Freakshow were minutes away from getting on stage, and at one point even Nami and Vivi decided it was time to go back to their friends.   
  
The guys had brought more booze from the bar, and Zoro couldn't thank them enough as he uncapped a bottle of Heineken and took a refreshing sip. How had he survived without a drop of alcohol in his system up until then was a mystery to him, and he was just about to take another large gulp of it when a familiar pale hand snatched the green bottle from right under his nose.  
  
"Sharing is caring." Sanji singsonged as he took a swig.  
  
Zoro didn't know whether to be annoyed or surprised to see him there, still he settled for glaring at the blond "I'm not fond of sharing booze, you should know that."   
  
Sanji rolled his eyes and took another small sip of lager "Wanna watch Freakshow with me?" he asked with this incredibly innocent look and a tilt of his head.   
  
Zoro wanted to headbutt him on the nose.  
  
"Sure?" he couldn't really headbutt him in the nose, it wouldn't have been a smart move.  
  
Sanji headed towards the stage door and hitched himself up on a huge, black, dusty case, nursing Zoro's beer as he waited for the drummer to actually join him. Zoro let out a long, drawn out sigh, then caught up with the singer and hopped up on the case as well.  
  
"Get your own." Zoro muttered as he snatched the bottle back from Sanji and took a large swig.  
  
"Whatever." Sanji shrugged. He had changed into something comfier than his stage clothes, and had apparently stuffed a packet of cigarettes into the pocket of his hoodie. He pulled it out and reached for a cigarette to light it up.  
  
"Why do you have to smoke next to me?" Zoro groaned in annoyance.  
  
Sanji shrugged a shoulder "So you can complain about it."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes. Sanji seemed to be in a relaxed sort of mood, even if he had avoided Zoro after speaking to Ace. Zoro wanted to ask about it, but he also knew that it probably wasn't the right time or place to do so. The best option he had was to enjoy that moment of calm between them, he gulped down some beer and as soon as Freakshow started playing he handed Sanji the quickly emptying bottle.  
  
"Such a thoughtful moss-head." Sanji smirked, holding his cigarette between his fore and middle finger as he grabbed the beer and chugged some of it.  
  
Zoro looked back to the band, a sigh escaping his lips as he tilted his head "We're kind of alike, us and them."   
  
"Uh, I'll need you to be more specific."   
  
Zoro glanced at Sanji and saw that he was giving him back the bottle "Us Crows and Freakshow." he grabbed the bottle but didn't drink, he only swept his thumb up and down its neck, thoughtful.  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrows "Ah," he looked towards the stage "for a moment I thought you were talking about Trafalgar and Eustass."  
  
Zoro stiffened at those words and his mouth shut. His eyes flew to Law pressing his back against Kidd as he wrapped an arm around his neck and kept him close. They had a weird relationship. You could never tell if they were actually in love, but it did look like they were born to get on each other's nerves. Yes, they ground against one another and kissed on stage, they probably had loads of angry sex in their privacy, but other than that they constantly pissed each other off. Well... In a sense they were kind of similar, minus the sex and the on stage PDA, but Zoro and Sanji did get on each other's nerves a lot.  
  
"We're way better than those two." Zoro muttered, then quickly busied himself with finishing off the beer.  
  
Sanji snorted "You've still got your eyebrows, at least."  
  
Zoro nearly choked, and Sanji sniggered around the filter of the cigarette.  
  
"What a fucking idiot." Zoro shook his head and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his hoodie.  
  
"What a caveman." Sanji sighed, then leaned his head on Zoro's shoulder "We're way better than them. They have no idea what we've been through, together."  
  
Zoro's face heated up, his ears burned and his cheeks tingled with the sudden rush of blood. Sanji was still the child from grade school, the one who was bullied and the one who randomly started crying in Zoro's bed after he had lost his mother. He was still the kid that girls made fun of and got his heart stomped all over. He was still the person Zoro had fallen for, and the person he loved the most on earth. Yes, they were golden and had stuck together through thick and thin, never giving up, not even for a second.  
  
"They know nothing, like Jon Snow." Zoro answered in a solemn voice that made Sanji laugh. "No you're right, though." he nodded "The two of us are a lot better."  
  
Sanji nodded lazily, then a comfortable quiet settled over them as they watched the show, just enjoying each other's presence and warmth. Zoro peeked a few times at Sanji, trying to see if he had fallen asleep but each time he did so he found him wide awake, scrutinizing the stage and its dwellers. When the second song started Sanji even linked his arm with Zoro's and laced their fingers together, and Zoro understood that he was being tested and that if he was going to survive all of that he would probably become immortal or something.  
  
"What's with you being all touchy feely?" Zoro dared asking, a soft smile curving his lips as he looked down at Sanji.  
  
"Hmm, can't you just bask into the glory of my presence?" Sanji groaned, nuzzling his head further into the crook of Zoro's neck and giving his hand a squeeze.  
  
Zoro snorted "I'm so blessed."  
  
"Don't be sarcastic." Sanji growled lowly.  
  
"I'm not?"  
  
Sanji huffed and twisted Zoro's middle finger until he heard him groan and cry in pain.  
  
"Ow, ow! Fucking–!" Zoro tried to shake Sanji off, but he just let go of his finger and went back to hold his hand.  
  
"Don't make fun of me." Sanji sighed, and Zoro only answered with a grunt. Sanji flicked ashes on the floor, then straightened up a bit, he rested the back of his head against the wall and took a deep drag of smoke, still not letting go of Zoro's hand.  
  
"They need a keyboardist," Sanji snorted, shaking his head "can't they hear that there's something clearly missing in their sound?"  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow, then finished off the beer and placed the empty bottle on the corner of the case, not even caring if it was going to probably tip off.   
  
"They got two guitars, things that we need as well, but–" Zoro nodded, lips pressed together into a thin line as he watched the band play, listening to their sound and having to admit that Sanji was right. "Yeah, how do you do industrial without a keyboard?" he furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
Sanji shrugged his shoulders "Fuck knows, Marimo... Fuck knows." he took another puff of tobacco, then went silent for a few moments before saying "I'd really like some pot, right now."  
  
Zoro snorted with laughter, but he would have been a liar to say that he wouldn't have had any interest in sharing a joint with Sanji in that moment. It was something that seldom happened back in high school, especially thanks to Ace's connections and Sanji's talent in getting free weed from dealers.  
  
"Remember when Mihawk nearly busted us smoking in your room?" Sanji sniggered, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"Fuck..." Zoro sighed and shook his head "We're alive just because of Shanks. We'll forever owe him our heads."  
  
Sanji laughed more, dropping his head back against Zoro's shoulder "I'll never forget Mihawk's murderous glare, holy shit!"  
  
Zoro smirked down at Sanji and slowly shook his head as he listened to him laugh like an idiot "You're gonna set fire to something if you keep wiggling that stupid cigarette around."  
  
Sanji's laughter slowly simmered down until he was normally breathing, but he didn't touch the cigarette anymore, nor did he lift his head from Zoro's shoulder "You'll always love me, yeah?"  
  
Zoro perked up, his eyebrows knitting and his eyes widening. His heart had legitimately stopped beating for a moment or two. He wasn't really sure he had correctly heard what Sanji had said, especially since it had something to do with love, Sanji's taboo word. Zoro was suddenly pushed down a spiral of paranoia, in which the main thoughts were _'can he actually read my mind?'_ and _'is he making fun of me?'_.  
  
"E-excuse me?" Zoro cleared his throat, even though it felt like a bucket of concrete had been poured into his mouth.  
  
"No matter what happens, you won't abandon me, right?" Sanji went on, his voice sounding distant and small, and in that moment the blond seemed as fragile as paper.  
  
Zoro's eyebrows pushed together into the deepest of scowls. What was that all about? Love, abandonment... Was Sanji taking the piss or was he actually serious? But then again, Sanji had told him that things weren't alright for him, that something – or better, someone – was tormenting him and making him suffer. But why would Sanji expose himself like that? Zoro found it still hard to believe his ears.  
  
"What are you talking about, shit Cook?" Zoro asked, confusion washing over him.  
  
Sanji didn't raise his head, nor did he lift his gaze. He was still looking ahead, probably not even really watching the band playing on stage "You heard me, moss-brain. Just..." he paused, swallowing thickly and flicking away the burnt out end of his smoke "Tell me you won't leave."  
  
Zoro's heart caught in his chest at the repeated request. He had heard him just right the first time, apparently, but it didn't actually mean that he didn't find it completely odd. First the panic attack, then their little moment outside in the backyard, the IAMX song and now this, another moment that was about to make Zoro's heart explode. If Zoro had been worried before, now he was downright scared.  
  
"Cook, what are you talking about?" Zoro pushed Sanji away from him, then tried to grab his chin "What the fuck is going on?" he tilted his head, searching for Sanji's gaze.  
  
Sanji swatted Zoro's hand away "Just answer my damn question, fucking stupid algae." he sneered, still not willing to hold Zoro's gaze.  
  
Zoro's eyebrow quirked up "Look me in the eye if you want an answer, you're fucking scary when you're like this, you know?"  
  
Sanji laughed a hollow laugh and shook his head, he glanced up at Zoro and smacked his own lips "That's what a Crow prince does, he scares people." he shrugged.  
  
Zoro huffed, throwing his head back in exasperation "You're not funny." he looked at Sanji and asked again "I need to know what's going on, Cook. Seriously."  
  
Sanji shook his head "Just tell me what I need to hear." he insisted.  
  
Zoro would have wanted to say it, only because it was true and because Sanji seriously looked like he needed to hear it, but Zoro wouldn't cave in so easily. "I need to know what's happening, too, but you're not telling me!" he growled, this time a bit louder than before.  
  
Sanji's eyes widened and he immediately looked around to see if anyone had heard Zoro "Why don't you yell louder? I'm pretty sure the people out there didn't hear you!"  
  
Zoro's nostrils flared as he shifted slightly closer to Sanji, as if he was trying to remove any chance the blond could have had at escaping. "If you'd just stop being weird as fuck I wouldn't get so worked up, and I wouldn't raise my voice!" he managed to answer in a considerably lower tone than earlier, but while Sanji's eyes continued to wander around in their nervousness, Zoro's remained glued on him.  
  
Sanji reared back, his left arm pressing flat against the dark red wall beside him as he tried to keep at least some distance between them. "I'm always weird," he shrugged dismissively "you know that."  
  
Zoro sighed, making an effort not to roll his eyes "Just tell me what's going on, plain and simple."  
  
Sanji shook his head "I can't and won't tell you shit." he gulped, picking at the underside of his nails with the tip of his thumbnail "Not right now, at least."  
  
The mixture of feelings coursing through Zoro was simply overwhelming, he didn't know whether he should be more annoyed or worried, and he was probably beyond those feelings. Zoro was actually scared and angry at the same time, scared that something was going to happen to Sanji and it could possibly ruin things between them, and angry at Sanji for being the little cryptic shit he was, just going around throwing hand grenades into a room and running away.  
  
Zoro rubbed at his forehead, allowing his eyelids to fall shut for a few moments as he decided what was the best way to act. He licked his lips, then opened his eyes again, his heart jumping slightly at the sight of Sanji's both pained and hopeful expression, and the only thing he could do was hang his head with a sigh.  
  
"You should know me, you should know what I think." Zoro stated, simply "There's no need for many words between us, isn't it?" that was clearly a dig at Sanji not wanting to talk to him, but it was also the truth. Or... Yeah, it was nearly the truth, Sanji didn't know exactly how Zoro felt. "We've stuck together through thick and thin, so..." he nodded, letting his words die on his lips as he watched Sanji's expression change to frustration.  
  
"I need..." Sanji began, but then bit his lower lip. "Nevermind, I guess you're right." he nodded, then pushed himself off the case "Thanks." he murmured as he walked away.  
  
Zoro limited himself to watch Sanji leave. They say that some things are better left unsaid, but other times everything would be a lot easier or maybe just different, if certain matters were to be discussed.   
  
He didn't know what was going to happen, but now that he thought about it, a bad feeling had been brewing inside of him for a while now, and even Luffy had told him he felt the same. The problem now was that Zoro wasn't sure he could ever be ready for the storm.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Zoro stayed sat on the case for the entire time that Freakshow was on stage, he thought they could keep his mind at least slightly busy and also it was a good way to avoid having to talk with anyone else in the meantime. Sure he would have appreciated it more if that empty bottle of Heineken could have refilled itself, or maybe if some kind of stronger booze would just spawn out of nowhere to support him.  
  
Once the gig was over he finally dragged himself back to where the others were and congratulated the fellow band on the awesome show. He dodged Bartolomeo as much as he could, and kept his distance from Sanji who looked like he was doing the exact same thing. He wasn't even mad, somehow he had known it all along that the night was going to develop into something like that, especially since apparently it was the only way things worked between he and Sanji, lately.  
  
The two bands went out in the venue to meet their fans and maybe buy a few more drinks from the bar. Zoro never got the proper chance to speak with Law's father, but from afar he looked like a weird but cool person that loved embarrassing his son – once again, he painfully reminded Zoro of Shanks, they would have probably become best friends if they ever met.  
  
He focused on the fans, spoke with as many of them as he could, took photos and signed anything from their old EPs, posters, official photos and even small, torn scraps of paper. It was all very relaxing and uplifting, even if every now and then his gaze met with Sanji's and the smirk plastered on his face faded a little. A few times Bartolomeo had purposely bumped into him, and it felt kind of refreshing to exchange a few words with him.  
  
It got late, even if it was debatable for some people, but they all had to take a somewhat long trip back home and most of them had work in the morning, so even if it was just past 2 am they needed to get going. They collected their paychecks from the owner of the venue and the Crows bid Freakshow goodnight before splitting between the two vans just like they had done to come in.   
  
The groups turned out to be the exact same, and Zoro still had no idea whether he should be feeling disappointed or relieved not to ride back home with Sanji, since Nami and Vivi had offered to give him a lift home before anyone else could even part their lips to speak.  
  
Zoro spent the whole ride looking out of the window, watching as the night scenery ran beside him, the lights blurred and blended together, and the few people they sped past looking almost faceless. Luffy, Usopp and Franky couldn't shut up as per usual but he didn't mind, they were all so excited that it would have been a crime to tell them to take it down a notch.   
  
Sometimes he gazed back at Brook's van, and every time he could see Sanji's face kissed by the dim light of the moon he'd turn his head right away. Maybe he'd meet Ace's vacant eyes but Ace would look instantly in the opposite direction, then Zoro would watch the way in which his brother would mercilessly chew on his nails or bite down his lower lip in what could only be classified as a strong nervousness.  
  
Zoro sighed to himself more often than he cared to admit, and many times that sigh turned into a yawn. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and the only thing he could think of was how much he craved his bed, he couldn't care about anything else in that moment, not even if he tried to.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ace absolutely didn't feel like driving, but if he wanted to get back home he had no other option, Luffy hadn't got a license and even though Zoro had one it was forbidden for him to drive because he would get horribly lost.   
  
He reluctantly got into the driver's seat and watched his youngest brother sneak into the seat next to him, promptly propping his feet on the dashboard as usual. Ace screwed his eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath as he mentally convinced himself that snapping at Luffy in that moment might have resulted in bloodshed, and that was something he didn't wish to happen. Ace looked at Zoro through the rear view mirror and swallowed thickly: _he_ would have probably drank Ace's blood, after the talk he was planning to have with him.  
  
The level of tension in Ace's body had spiked up again, it had faded so pleasantly during the concert, he hadn't even felt the slightest bit of anxiety when Sanji had tried to convince him again not to talk to Zoro, but now that they were all going back home everything was coming back to Ace at least twice as bad.  
  
Ace knew there was already a strong tension between Zoro and Sanji, he had watched them argue throughout the entire evening and night, but he had also seen them disappear together a few times and Ace didn't know what was going on in Sanji's head.   
  
Luffy switched on the radio and turned up the volume, _Over The Hills And Far Away_ by Nightwish blasted through the speakers and Ace widened his eyes. What could be better than a song about a man betraying his best friend by sleeping with his wife, right when Ace had made up his mind about telling Zoro that Sanji had sucked him off at Franky's? Brilliant.  
  
Ace hit the skip button to change song and Luffy glared daggers at him "What?" Ace scowled at his little brother.  
  
"I was gonna listen to that!" Luffy groaned.  
  
Ace rolled his eyes "Well now we're listening to Wednesday 13."   
  
"Can we just go home?" Zoro grumbled from the backseat, startling Ace who promptly turned on the engine.  
  
Luffy sunk into his seat, sulking as he looked out of the window. Ace sighed, there were times in which he couldn't stand Luffy's childish side, and that night was definitely one of them. He backed the car into the road and drove off, slightly drumming his fingers to the beat of the music on the steering wheel.  
  
By the time they arrived home, Ace was the only one still awake, and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have fallen asleep even if he tried, since he could feel his heartbeat inside his throat.

He turned off the radio and shut down the car. Ace looked at his sleeping brothers and ran his fingers through his hair. They were both clearly exhausted, and Ace was starting to think that even though he felt the need to confess, it would have been really awful to speak to Zoro about such an issue when he was so tired.  
  
Ace bit his lower lip as he watched Zoro sleeping with half his face pressed against the car window and snoring softly. Maybe it could wait for another while, after all Ace had survived through the past few days, so he could definitely wait at least until morning. Yes, he was going to do so, it was probably the best way to do it, even though there probably wasn't a right way to deliver horrible news.  
  
Ace tugged on Luffy's cheek, then patted on it gently "C'mon baby brother, wake up." Luffy squeezed his eyes, muttered something unintelligible and continued sleeping. Ace sighed and turned back to Zoro and prodded at his knee with his hand "Zoro, we're home."  
  
Zoro let out a loud snort, then blinked his eyes open "Huh? Do I have to go to work?" he croaked.  
  
Ace smirked "Not yet. Help me get Luffy inside." he jerked his head in the general direction of their house.  
  
"Oh." Zoro wiped drool off the corner of his mouth and cracked his neck twice "Alright."  
  
Ace let out a somewhat relieved sigh, then proceeded to exit the car. That had been the most normal and relaxed conversation he'd had with his brother for a while, but the thought of having to ruin everything in the morning made him feel sick to the stomach.  
  
They managed to get Luffy into his bed after he had tried to kick them in the guts or the groin several times, also preventing him from falling down the stairs and probably splitting his head open. Luffy could be seriously terrible while being manhandled in his sleep.  
  
"I nearly lost an eye, there." Zoro muttered as he rubbed at his left eye. Luffy had tried to swat him away and accidentally poked him in the eye.  
  
Ace chuckled softly and shook his head "I know, he's dangerous."   
  
Zoro yawned and ran his fingers through his green mohawk, then jabbed his thumb back towards his room "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm too tired to even take a piss."  
  
Ace raised both his eyebrows "Yeah, sure. I'm gonna go too." he nodded. That was the confirmation he needed, there was no way he could speak to Zoro in that moment, even though everything he wanted to say felt like a knot in his throat that struggled to be unraveled.   
  
"Night." Zoro yawned again and turned on his heels to head to his bedroom.  
  
"Night, Zoro." Ace sighed and chewed on his lower lip as he watched Zoro leave.  
  
He stood there in silence, his throat closing up and his heart hammering into his chest. He let out a shaky breath and finally moved to reach his own room, too.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ace wished he could say he had gotten used to that constant knot in his throat, to the weight on his chest and the sick feeling to his stomach. Guilt had been gnawing at him, relentlessly, keeping him awake at night, messing with his head and with his everyday life. Sometimes he still had a hard time believing that the thing between he and Sanji had actually happened, he had told himself that it couldn't have been possible but the evidence remained, and Sanji begging him not to say a word to Zoro was just another proof of it all.  
  
It wasn't just the knowledge of having betrayed his brother that was slowly killing him, Ace had started to feel like he had somehow betrayed Smoker, too. He perfectly knew they weren't dating and they were basically nothing more than simple friends if not just acquaintances, still Ace loved him and he felt like he'd been cheating on him.  
  
Ace had relied on Zoro assuming that his odd behavior was all because Smoker hadn't showed up at the party and hadn't even contacted Ace to apologize or just talk, but that wasn't entirely the truth. Smoker had called him the night after the party, politely apologizing for not attending the party because of an important case he was working on, and Ace had felt so horrible that he nearly cried during the call.   
  
Smoker was a man of great integrity, a man that everyone respected back at the HQ but he also had this incredibly soft side that had peeked a few times whenever Ace was around. Smoker didn't let his emotions seep out so easily, but Ace was very used to that type of person, so he was able to pick all the small things that actually meant more than Smoker cared to admit.   
  
Ace had been a jerk and he knew it. He had got drunk and blabbed with Usopp about how much love and relationships were just a damn joke and he should have just stuck to fucking around like he had always been used to. Sanji had been just as much of a jerk, deciding that Ace was the right person to take into a bedroom for whatever his purpose was, and together they had betrayed at least one very important person in their life.  
  
Sure, Sanji couldn't know the bigger meaning behind Ace's despair, Sanji had no idea of Zoro's feelings, he had no clue about how horrible Ace's actions were, but in their stupor it had almost felt perfect. Almost, because in the back of Ace's mind was Smoker, and all he would have really wanted to do that night was sharing that same bed with him. But Smoker hadn't been there and Ace was stupidly heartbroken, while Sanji was so stunning and inviting that Ace couldn't think of a sweeter and better medicine, not even if he tried.  
  
For an idiotic reason they had messed up terribly, and Sanji intended to bury everything underneath six feet of dirt and several layers of concrete. And Ace had tried, he had tried since the very first moment but it was impossible. Lying to Zoro, watching him being so worried for his brother, hearing him say that he was a good person, a good brother... Ace couldn't take it, there was just no hiding something so big forever.  
  
And even that night he knew it was going to keep him awake. Ace had crawled under the covers and checked his phone for any sign of Smoker when he found a text.  
  
 _'Good luck with the show, tonight.'_  
  
Ace hadn't read it, he had been too caught up in his anxiety and nervousness to do so, and all of a sudden an uncontrollable urge took over. He needed Smoker. He needed to see him and talk to him, tell him everything that had happened even if it would have meant that Ace might have never seen him again.  
  
He checked the time, it was nearly 4 AM and up until then he had done nothing but tossing and turning in his bed, wracking his brains over how he was going to break it to Zoro that... Hey, he had fucked the love of his life. Before everything started to fall apart with his own brother, he decided that he needed to do one last insane thing.  
  
Ace rolled out of bed, quickly wearing whatever piece of clothing he could find as he wandered his room, he probably wore two different shoes but he couldn't care less. He pulled on his coat as he kept on clutching his cellphone, and trying to be as quiet as possible he sneaked out of his room and began to walk towards the stairs. There was a damned step that creaked like a bitch every time, but in that frantic moment Ace couldn't remember which one it was, so he managed to skip three steps without killing himself, and in the blink of an eye he was already inside his beat up car, heading to Smoker's.   
  
Maybe he was going to have a door being thrown at his face, or maybe Smoker could even arrest him and have him tested for alcohol and drugs or something, but he didn't care, he had nothing left to lose anymore.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Smoker lived downtown in one of the busiest streets, for Ace it was always hell to find a parking during either day or evening, and he was sure that even in the dead of the night he wasn't going to find even the smallest of spots for his Chevy.   
  
As soon as he entered the street, Ace couldn't help but snort. The amount of times he had driven down that road was ridiculous, and only in that very moment Ace found himself wondering whether Smoker had understood that Ace had been purposely avoiding to perfectly repair his boiler, only so that he could visit him more often, or not. He was a fucking idiot, Smoker could have seriously thrown his ass into prison for that, yet he couldn't help himself, he liked the man far too much and the man didn't seem to dislike Ace, after all.  
  
Ace shook his head slightly, it wasn't the right time to be thinking about such things, especially not now that he had mustered up the courage to speak to Smoker. Even if... Well, it was past 4 AM and if Smoker decided to shoot him he really wouldn't have blamed him.  
  
Suddenly something caught Ace's eyes: a parking spot! And only a block away from Smoker's! – Ace abruptly slammed on the brakes, put the car in reverse and quickly tried to pull into the spot. Too bad his nerves weren't exactly cooperating, so he had to actually try exiting and re-entering the parking twice more, before he actually managed to park the damn thing.  
  
A string of curses and a stumble later, Ace was biting on his lip as he stared at Smoker's name on the intercom. He had come so far, yet he couldn't even bring up his finger to ring the intercom, his arm felt as heavy as a rock and his heart was drumming inside his ears.   
  
"God, what the fuck am I doing here?" Ace groaned to himself, throwing his head back. He leaned against the huge, glass and wrought-iron main door with a sigh, and to his surprise it clicked and reared back. It was open? So much for keeping the residents safe.  
  
"Fuck off," Ace furrowed his eyebrows as he pushed the door open "that's too easy." he shook his head, yet he slipped inside the building and made sure to close the door behind him.  
  
That had definitely been too easy, but he wasn't done yet, he was going to have to ring Smoker's doorbell and possibly giving him a heart attack. Ace licked his lips and sucked in a deep, soothing breath before moving forward. Smoker lived on the second floor, still Ace opted to take the elevator, so that he could try to sound calmer and probably less flustered.  
  
Yeah, as if.  
  
The elevator reached the second floor without making any obnoxious sound to announce it, and Ace hesitated for so long that the doors started sliding shut again and he nearly got caught between them. He bit his tongue to avoid cussing out loud as he sneaked past the doors, then stopped right in front of the elevator.  
  
He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. Panic pervaded him as he thought about how truly insane his idea had been. What possessed him to even remotely think that acting like that was alright? He suddenly felt like some kind of maniac, a stalker even. He moved his gaze from the door right in front of him, Smoker's apartment was the second door to the left. He just needed to ring the bell and he could have finally spoken to Smoker, no matter the price he would have had to pay, then after that he would have confessed everything to Zoro.  
  
Ace sucked his lips in as his mind crowded with thoughts. He had really come so far, he had even found the main door open... That had to be a sign. Or at least Ace wanted it to be.  
  
"Oh, what the hell!" Ace muttered to himself as he started in the direction of Smoker's apartment, and with a swift move of his arm he also managed to ring the doorbell right away.

Ace held his breath as he waited for a sign of life from the other side of the door, a noise, a groan, a curse, anything would have done. After some moments of complete silence, Ace decided it would have been better to breathe again if he didn't want to pass out right there on the landing. He chewed on his bottom lip absentmindedly and wished he had brought a packet of cigarettes along to ease the tension. He had been smoking way too much, lately but hey, he had to do something if he wanted to keep somewhat sane.  
  
A couple minutes passed, even if they felt like entire hours, and this time Ace's hand shook as he brought it up to the doorbell, his fingers hovering it until he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the button, quickly retrieving his hand as if it had burned him.   
  
This time Ace heard a distinct _'what the fuck'_ followed by a thud and a growl, Smoker had probably bumped into something. Great, just what he needed was antagonizing him even more for making him wake up at 4 in the morning and hurting himself against a piece of furniture.  
  
"Who's this?"   
  
The voice was a deep grumble, Ace couldn't make out what kind of emotion it suggested, but his own voice came out sort of strangled as he replied.  
  
"It's... It's Ace?"   
  
"Ace? What the–"   
  
There were a few noises as Smoker unlocked the door and undid the latch, and Ace's breath hitched in his throat. That was it, he was probably going to die in the next few minutes but he was prepared... Kind of. The door swung open, revealing a shirtless Smoker, his silver hair was sticking out in different directions and a befuddled expression painted his features.  
  
"Hi..." Ace cracked a tentative smile. Smoker looked so tired and bewildered that Ace felt horrible for startling him awake the way he had.  
  
"What the fuck happened? Why are you here at..." Smoker checked the watch on his wrist, then scowled over at Ace again "It's 4:40 AM!"  
  
Ace let out a big, drawn out sigh as he hung his head "I know..." he combed his long fingers through his hair "But I couldn't sleep and I really needed to talk to you."  
  
Smoker stiffened visibly, his eyebrows twitching slightly upon hearing Ace's words "What? What are you–" he shook his head, confusion warping his face until he scrubbed a hand over it.  
  
"Look, I did something stupid and now I regret it... And–" Ace started speaking, his thoughts and words weren't organized and he really didn't know what would have been the right way to break it all to Smoker.   
  
"Stupid as in..." Smoker's eyes began to search Ace's body, as if he was looking for visible evidence of that stupid thing "Did you harm yourself? Did you take any drugs?"

"Wha–?" Ace's eyes widened, then shook his head "No, no! But... I'm pretty sure someone will kill me."

"What?!" Smoker's eyes widened just as much as Ace's, an horrified expression suddenly taking over.  
  
"No!" Ace waved both hands and shook his head "No, not in the literal sense! Or maybe yeah... I just–" Ace threw his head back in frustration, letting his eyes fall shut, when suddenly he felt a hand gripping the front of his coat and pulling him forward.  
  
"Just get inside already!" Smoker growled lowly "We're gonna wake the entire building up with this banter."  
  
Ace found himself inside Smoker's apartment, the ever present strong smell of cigar surrounded him immediately and it curiously made him feel at ease. Smoker was staring at him with this stern look that made him feel way too exposed, so much that he had to look away while his cheeks heated up.  
  
"Christ, you look like shit." Smoker commented with a shake of his head.  
  
Ace gasped and glowered up at the taller man "Whoa, thanks! I definitely came all the way here to hear this!" he grumbled, grumpily.  
  
Smoker rolled his eyes "What the hell happened, Ace?" he asked in a gentler tone, spreading his arms "I have no idea why you came all the way here at 4 in the morning, but you do look terrible, like you haven't slept in days."  
  
Ace lowered his eyes, bashful. It probably didn't take a police captain to tell how much he looked like crap, but Smoker was right nonetheless, and instead of just standing there and being grouchy, Ace should have spilled the beans.  
  
"That's 'cause I haven't been getting any rest since the party." Ace bit his tongue, he would have wanted to precise that he was talking about the party that Smoker didn't attend, but that would have sounded like he was placing the entire blame on him.  
  
Smoker sighed, hanging his head in defeat "I've already apologized and explained to you why I didn't–"   
  
"No, that's not the reason." Ace cut him off raising a hand, then tilted his head slightly as he added "At least not the main one."   
  
Smoker cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms over his broad, muscular chest. He didn't open his mouth, he just waited for Ace to go on speaking.  
  
"That night I..." Ace drew in a shaky breath, still unsure about whether he was doing the right thing or not. "I got drunk, really drunk. And I did the most stupid thing I could do... I fucked Sanji. My brother Zoro's best friend, and the person he's in love with."   
  
There, he had said it. The smallest of weights lifted off his chest, even though he still had to actually tell Zoro about it if he wanted to completely remove the boulder weighing on his heart.  
  
Smoker's confused expression dropped, a deadpan taking right over as he blinked at Ace. "And... Where do I exactly fit into this story?"  
  
Ace's heart caught in his chest. He had expected that kind of response, but it still hurt. "Because I feel awful! I betrayed my brother! He knew I would have never done something like that! He's gonna hate me!" he knew he shouldn't have been raising his voice like that, but he couldn't help it. "I'm afraid I'm gonna lose him... I'm scared I'll lose all my friends over this, too!"   
  
Smoker drew his eyebrows together, his eyes darting towards the door of his apartment and then flying back to Ace "Keep your voice down." he muttered.  
  
Ace's eyes widened again, a knot forming in his throat as it dawned on him. "You don't care." he said in a small voice, his arms dropping to his sides. "You don't care, and I'm a fucking idiot for ever thinking I could lose something I never even had!"  
  
Smoker's eyebrows twitched, he sucked his lower lip between his teeth then quickly released it. He was clearly aching for a smoke, Ace could read it all over him, even though he was pretty sure that his level of frustration didn't even begin to match Ace's. "Ace, what..." he sighed, rolling his tongue over his lower lip "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I love you, you fucking idiot!" Ace groaned as a stray tear rolled down his left cheek "I feel awful for what I did, and I know my brother will hate me, and probably my friends will hate me, too! But what's also been tormenting me all this time is that I love you, and I slept with someone else!" his voice cracked a few too many times as he tried to keep it low in his agitation.  
  
Smoker's jaw clenched, the muscles in his arms tensing as he heard those words, then slowly shook his head at the man trembling and tearing up in front of him. "You're such an idiot."  
  
Ace balled his hands into fists and ground his teeth, he wasn't going to let Smoker stomp all over him like that after pouring his heart out . "You fucking–!" a large hand pressed against his lips, silencing him. Ace stared up at Smoker in utter confusion and suddenly lost the ability to move even just a muscle.  
  
"You're an idiot because of what you did," Smoker began, losing the apathetic look on his face and replacing it with a severe one "this will hurt your brother, and you will hurt too." he looked away, almost as if he was trying to find the words he couldn't speak, but didn't remove the hand from Ace's mouth "You're also stupid for thinking I don't care, because I do, but I got no right to be jealous if we're not really..." he grimaced "A _thing_."  
  
"Mphff!" Ace tried to speak against Smoker's hand. His heart had started racing so hard in his chest that he feared it could leap out of his mouth, so maybe it was actually safer if Smoker kept his hand pressed against it.  
  
"Promise not to speak unless you got something reasonable to say." Smoker arched an eyebrow and watched as Ace nodded, then moved his hand away from his face.  
  
"What did you just tell me?" Ace asked, out of breath.  
  
Smoker groaned "Not to say anything if–"  
  
Ace stopped him with a wave of the hand "No, no, before that!"   
  
Smoker rolled his eyes and grabbed Ace by the collar of his coat and yanked him none too gently in to press a kiss to his lips. Ace froze, wide-eyed and unable to breathe until Smoker pulled back and glared at him.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Fuck." Ace rubbed furiously at his teary eyes, then pulled Smoker in for another kiss, a proper one this time.  
  
He could give himself a break just for a few hours, then he was definitely going to talk to Zoro. Yes, he deserved a bit of happiness, just for a little while... Didn't he?

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry you're gonna have to wait a bit more for shit to actually go down big time, but it really would have been too soon if Ace would have just fessed everything up just like that, wouldn't it? ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo! This took a little less than last time, right? I think so. It's probably one of the shortest chapters I've written lately, but I just wanted this to be about confrontation, the rest will come later. I hope this was still worth the wait, and that you'll enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> As usual, thank you all for your support and your compliments! Even the smallest comment is appreciated and treasured, you all give me a reason to keep writing!

Ace sat up, gasping for air as he combed his fingers through his damp hair "Water." he reached out an arm towards Smoker, wriggling his fingers. He watched as the older man braced himself on an elbow and grabbed the half empty water bottle sitting on the nightstand by his side of the bed.   
  
Smoker took a big gulp of water before handing it to Ace, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand "Don't spill it."  
  
Ace snorted into the bottle "Right, 'cause the bedding's perfectly dry and clean, at the moment." a cheeky grin threatened to split his face as he drank.  
  
Smoker rolled his eyes and shook his head. Even if the light of the dawn was too feeble to brighten the room, Ace knew that Smoker's cheeks were flushed. The cop reached for the cigar he had put out before going to bed and lit it up again, his powerful muscles flexing with the simplest of movements, his sweat soaked skin glistening in the dim light.  
  
Ace twisted the cap of the bottle back on and bit his lower lip, the more he looked at Smoker's body, the more he wanted him. He had spent nearly two hours making love to the man, his muscles were sore and he wasn't particularly enjoying sitting, but Ace would have ridden him again in the blink of an eye.  
  
"Wanna go again?" Ace suggested as he dropped the plastic bottle on the floor, his left hand immediately moving to rest on Smoker's chest.  
  
Smoker let out a soft sigh and shook his head "Aren't you tired, yet?"  
  
Ace huffed "I could go for another two hours."  
  
Smoker rubbed at his forehead "I gotta go to work in a few, and I'm already sleep deprived."  
  
Ace pouted, curling up against Smoker and placing a couple open mouthed kisses on the salty skin of his neck. "Please?"  
  
Smoker let out a low groan "You've got something important to do, yourself."  
  
Ace froze, his eyes widening as everything came back to him. He had forgotten about anything else that wasn't Smoker, and now he didn't have the strength to get back to the cruelty of reality. Ace let out a soft whimper and nuzzled Smoker's neck, in a desperate attempt to hide away from the rest of the world.  
  
"Ace..." Smoker wrapped an arm around Ace's shoulder "You gotta talk to your brother."  
  
"I don't wanna lose him." Ace breathed against Smoker's skin.  
  
"He's your brother, you won't lose him." Smoker tried to convince him, but he kind of sounded like he didn't believe the words he was uttering.  
  
Ace reared back and looked up into Smoker's eyes "I've royally fucked up, he's gonna hate me forever."  
  
Smoker shrugged "You still gotta be honest with the man, you can't hide this for the rest of your life." he began to trace soothing circles on Ace's shoulder as he spoke "The truth always comes out, and the more time you let pass, the worse it'll be when he finds out."  
  
Ace grimaced "Why did you have to be a cop?"  
  
Smoker deadpanned at him "It doesn't take a cop to say such things, you just gotta use your brain."  
  
Ace rested his head on Smoker's chest with a long, drawn out sigh "I'm scared of the consequences."  
  
"Look, you didn't do it on purpose, did you?"   
  
Ace scoffed "He won't care."  
  
"At first he won't. But if he's an intelligent guy, he'll understand, eventually." Smoker spoke as he carded his thick fingers through Ace's hair, in such a natural manner that it made Ace tremble slightly.  
  
"You're too good to me." Ace breathed out as his own fingers gently swept across Smoker's chest.  
  
"Yeah, I am." Smoker replied, way too promptly for Ace's taste.  
  
Ace gasped and lifted his head up to look at Smoker, he didn't know if he should have been worried or outraged, he couldn't even find anything to say because he couldn't really blame Smoker for thinking that... He genuinely didn't think he deserved Smoker's kindness.  
  
"I'm too good to a person who still hasn't fixed my damn boiler. I know you did it on purpose!" Smoker squinted at him in the dim light, and Ace couldn't help but widen his eyes and burst out laughing.  
  
"Holy shit, I am sorry!" Ace shook his head as he laughed, then rested his forehead on Smoker's chest.  
  
"You're a little shit, you know that?"   
  
Ace looked back up at Smoker, biting his lower lip to keep from laughing more "I know..." he raised his eyebrows "I liked you too much to stop coming over."  
  
Smoker scoffed "You're fucking terrible."  
  
Ace smirked "But you love me, don't you?"  
  
"Oh, just shut your face!" Smoker growled as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Make me." Ace challenged him, a shit eating grin threatening to split his face in a half, he barely had any time to finish uttering those words that Smoker was already kissing the air out of his lungs.  
  
At that point, Ace had completely lost track of time, he hadn't got a single hour of sleep and didn't even know at what time Smoker would kick him out to go to work, but it had been so worth it. He knew he was definitely going to be miserable some time later, but he wasn't going to be completely on his own, no matter what was going to happen, he had Smoker now.

He knew it was selfish, but he needed an anchor, especially in such a delicate moment of his life. He knew that his parents wouldn't want to take sides, but he knew that Luffy was probably going to be mad at him, and as for the band and the rest of his friends, he had no idea about what was going to happen.   
  
Sanji had come yapping to him about ruined friendships, about the band splitting up right when things were starting to really look up for them, but it wasn't something that could have been avoided, since the truth is always bound to surface at some point. Ace couldn't live with himself knowing what he had done, and even if he'd never admit it, neither could Sanji, it would have consumed them.   
  
Hours poured one into the other, the sun rose high in the sky and Smoker had to decline Ace's offer to take a lukewarm shower together if he didn't want to be later for work than he already was. Ace did take up Smoker's invitation to grab a coffee together, because no matter how much his nerves had pumped him up, he still had a car to drive back home and he didn't want to crash it into the first pole he'd encounter.  
  
"Will you be fine?" Smoker asked as he threw an empty cup of coffee into the nearest trash bin by the sidewalk.  
  
Ace shrugged "No?"  
  
"Well, hang in there." Smoker lit up a cigar and took a couple puffs before going on speaking "Make sure to text me once you'll be done speaking with him, alright?"  
  
"If I'll still have my hands, I will." Ace nodded, fidgeting with the car keys.  
  
Smoker rolled his eyes, then pressed a kiss to Ace's temple "I gotta go."  
  
"I could fix your boiler, instead of going home?" Ace tried, shooting Smoker his best pleading look.  
  
"Go home." Smoker sighed as he started in the direction of his SUV, then without turning back he added "You'll fix it next time you swing by."  
  
Ace let out a shaky breath and hung his head. It was really time to confront Zoro, it was pointless to push it back again, Smoker was right to say that it would only make things harder. He clutched the keys in his fist, looked one last time in Smoker's direction, then took off towards his own car.  
  
  


  
  
  


* * *

 

 

  
  
"Zoro?"  
  
The drummer rolled on the opposite side from which the voice was calling for him and tugged the covers over his head. Zoro had no idea what the time was, but it was probably too early to be alive, yet.  
  
"Zoro!"   
  
The covers got yanked off of him, and a growl erupted from his throat.  
  
"Luffy, leave me alone!"  
  
"But Zoro, Ace isn't in his bed!"  
  
Reluctantly, with a pained groan, Zoro's eyes blinked open and quickly squeezed shut again. Luffy had switched on the light.   
  
"I'm blind." Zoro whined as he burrowed his face into the pillow.   
  
He heard Luffy scoff in exasperation, and the next thing he knew was that he was lying on the floor.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Zoro cried as he glared up at his little brother. He sat up and rubbed his sore shoulder and arm.  
  
"I told you! Ace isn't in his bed!" Luffy insisted, his face warped in a mix of anger and worry.  
  
"Well, maybe he's taking a dump!" Zoro growled as he climbed back to sit on the edge of his bed "That's no reason to physically drag me out of bed."  
  
Luffy rolled his eyes "He isn't in the damn house, alright?!"  
  
Zoro grimaced and grabbed his phone from the nightstand to check the time: 8:30. He scowled down at the screen, then back over at Luffy "Maybe he went to work?"  
  
"He has the day off, and you know it." Luffy answered as he folded his arms over his chest.  
  
Yes, of course Zoro knew, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around a reason why Ace wouldn't be home at 8:30 AM during a day off, it didn't exactly sound like a good thing.  
  
"Shit." Zoro scrubbed a hand over his face "How did you notice?"  
  
Luffy shrugged a shoulder "I was going to the bathroom and I noticed that his bedroom door was cracked open, so I took a peek and didn't find him."  
  
Zoro hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He was too tired for this kind of things.  
  
"Have you tried calling him?" Zoro asked, even if he already knew the answer.  
  
"Yeah. His phone is off."   
  
"Of course." Zoro sighed. Zoro looked over at his younger brother, he looked like he'd been sitting on a thorny chair, all skittish and restless. He knew that Luffy wouldn't settle down until they were sure that Ace was alright, he also knew that in a normal situation, where Ace hadn't spent the past days being worryingly weird, Luffy wouldn't have been so concerned.  
  
"I mean, I know he wouldn't do anything stupid, because he's strong and he just wouldn't–" Luffy started babbling, but Zoro cut him right off.  
  
"Exactly. Let me stop you right there." Zoro sighed and placed both hands on his lower back as he pushed out his chest to crack his spine. "Ace..." he shook his head, the thought of Ace doing anything harmful to himself couldn't even cross his mind "He's a grown up, okay? I'm pretty sure there's a good reason why he isn't home." he tried to use the most eloquent and convincing tone he could muster, yet Luffy's hard expression didn't soften much.  
  
"Yes, and I agree with you but..." Luffy pressed his thin lips together, taking a small break from speaking and letting a big breath inside his lungs. "Ace isn't alright. He hasn't been in days and it's scary. It's scary to see someone who is always the complete opposite of anxious, scared and... Maybe even depressed?" he shrugged, rubbing at his forehead and making a pained expression, almost as if it was hurting him to spill those words "I don't wanna see him like that, and now he isn't around and... Ugh!" he groaned, distressed.  
  
Zoro had listened carefully to everything his little brother had to say, he didn't stop him because he knew that Luffy had to let out that frustration. Things were weird for everyone lately, it was like a mist of gloom and negativity had surrounded their lives and there didn't seem to be a way to just fan it off or repel it. Luffy wasn't being himself either, all that worry and that heartfelt talk, it wasn't like his usual self. Yes, Luffy could be very serious and wise when he wanted to, but that was a different kind of behavior, one that didn't fit him and that Zoro didn't like to see.  
  
"Look. Maybe he had an emergency at work and that's it." Zoro shrugged, as he tried to start being as rational as he could be, even if that hint of worry was there in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Luffy rolled his eyes "He got the day off. That's unlikely. And he isn't a heart surgeon or anything."   
  
Sarcasm. That was still better than oozing concern from every pore of his skin.  
  
Zoro huffed "Then maybe he wanted to go for a jog. Run for a bit and clear his head." that was a very plausible answer, and even though Zoro was the fitness freak in that household, that didn't make him the only person who actually enjoyed working out and keeping fit.  
  
This time Luffy laughed, and it wasn't a hollow laugh, it was a genuinely amused one that bubbled from his chest and erupted vigorously through his lips. "Sure! When he could be sleeping!" he slapped his thigh and held his stomach with his other arm "We're talking about Ace, not you!" he wiped away the couple tears that had streamed down his cheek and shook his head "Not even you would have gone running after last night."  
  
Zoro grimaced at those words. After the roller coaster of emotions from last night, hadn't he been so exhausted Zoro wouldn't have disdained going out for a jog. It always helped him to empty his mind, clear the mess inside his head and reset his mood for a while, it would have made him feel better and he couldn't see why Ace couldn't do something like that.   
  
"Well, I can see Ace going for a run even after a night like last night." Zoro shrugged, speaking his thoughts out loud "He could go for a run to shut out the world, clear his mind."   
  
Luffy wasn't laughing anymore, nor did he look sarcastically skeptic, he was listening and definitely considering what Zoro was saying. Maybe he hadn't completely convinced him, but he was somewhat close to do so.  
  
"But why would he bring his cellphone with him and keep it turned off?" Luffy's eyebrow shot upwards, as he studied the details of the possible scenario.  
  
Zoro wanted to roll his eyes and groan, but he didn't, just out of sheer respect for Luffy's feelings. "To listen to music? But... Maybe the battery died?"  
  
Luffy scrunched his lips to the side, then tilted his head slightly "So maybe he just went for a run to clear his head?"  
  
Zoro let out a sigh of relieve and hung his head "Yeah. Maybe."  
  
"Okay." Luffy said in a hushed tone, but didn't move a muscle. He wasn't going to leave Zoro's room, or at least it looked like it.  
  
"Can't we go back to sleep for a bit?" Zoro asked. Concern had kept him perfectly awake up until that point, but now that he had found a possible answer to their questions, drowsiness was slithering back to him.  
  
Luffy's gasp was so dramatic that Zoro's eyes nearly popped out. "How can you tell me to just go to sleep, now? Aren't you worried at _all_ for our brother?" he insisted.   
  
It was obvious that they still didn't know the truth, and Zoro's words were a mere speculation that could actually mean nothing. Still Zoro didn't think that letting panic take over was the best solution, and he certainly wasn't going to go out and search the city for Ace, it was too soon.  
  
"What do you wanna do? Call the cops? Turn the city upside down?" Zoro finally groaned out in exasperation. "What if we do that, and then he gets home safe and sound? It's too early to do that."  
  
Luffy didn't say anything in response, he just stood in front of Zoro, pouting and looking like a scolded puppy dog.  
  
"Fine." Zoro sighed, knowing perfectly what his brother wanted without having to ask. "Sleep here." Zoro grumbled as he lied back under the covers.  
  
"Thank you, Zoro!" Luffy cried as he scrambled up on the bed and quickly sneaked under the covers, scooting close to his older brother.  
  
Zoro wasn't sure he was going to sleep, not now that he was actually worried about Ace, but lying down and not having to openly wrack his brains over that situation was enough of a rest.

Zoro quickly lost track of time as his brain elaborated info on its own, the more he thought about Ace the more he was convinced that something was up. He didn't want to worry but it was impossible, the jogging story held up until a certain point, and Zoro wasn't sure that Ace had seriously gone out for a run.  
  
But where could he have possibly gone? His mind had started suggesting things he didn't want to even imagine, but... What if Ace had gone to speak to Sanji, after the few chats from the night before? It was unlikely, maybe, but not impossible, still Zoro tried to bury that thought deep into the back of his mind, further enough for it to not resurface anytime soon.  
  
Having his back turned against Luffy, Zoro couldn't tell if the younger boy was asleep or not, yet he could feel him gently pressed against him, and that felt somewhat reassuring. Zoro dozed off a few times, he couldn't tell how many nor he could tell for how long he had been out, but when Luffy suddenly rolled off the bed and shouted Ace's name he was suddenly wide awake.   
  
Zoro sat up right away and turned towards the open door of his room. In the corridor was Ace, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, while in front of him, at the center of the room, stood Luffy in an intimidating kind of stance.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?!" Luffy nearly shouted.  
  
Ace brought both his index fingers in front of his lips to try and hush Luffy "Shhh! Don't yell! I don't want our old men to wake up!"  
  
Luffy scoffed "They're at work, you dumbass!"  
  
Ace bit his lower lip, realizing that he had clearly messed up. He shook his head and shrugged it off "Y-you're right, I just..." he rubbed the back of his neck, shifting all his weight on his left leg "I lost track of time."  
  
Zoro squinted at their oldest brother. By the looks of his outfit he definitely hadn't gone out for a run: he was basically still wearing the clothes he had worn the night before, but the shoes were a pair of Chucks that... Didn't match. On Ace's right foot was one of his black Chucks with flames drawn on, while on the left foot he had a red Chuck with black strings.  
  
"Where were you, Ace?" this time it was Zoro who asked him, and both Luffy's and Ace's eyes flew directly towards him.  
  
Ace shrugged again, as if the only movement he was able to do was shrugging his shoulders. "I was out. I needed some fresh air, so I left the house for a while." his confidence gradually built up as he spoke, so he added "Is it a crime?"   
  
"Right, you're telling me that after a long night like last night you went for a walk in the early morning instead of sleeping?" Luffy asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Just 'cause I usually sleep a lot it doesn't mean that I can't have a sleepless night!" Ace retorted, clearly unnerved "I thought I was an adult now, not to mention I'm the oldest brother. What's the matter with you, guys?" Ace asked with a small groan.  
  
"We were just worried, Ace." Luffy replied "You've been worrying us, lately." he sighed, dropping the attitude and revealing the true concern in his voice.  
  
Ace shook his head and heaved a breath "Stop worrying, please. Alright?" then he looked over at Zoro and his determination seemed to falter again. "Zoro, I..."  
  
Zoro's eyebrows drew together "Yeah?"  
  
Ace gestured in the general direction of the bathroom, and his gaze dropped to the floor "I'm gonna take a shower and... And then, uh... I'd like to talk to you." he finished the sentence with a feeble nod.  
  
Zoro's heart suddenly dropped to his stomach. That couldn't be good, there was just no way it wasn't going to be bad news. Whenever someone says they have to talk to you it's bad enough, but considering what had been happening with Ace and Sanji lately, Zoro just _couldn't_ stay calm.  
  
"A'right." Zoro muttered. Ace nodded again, then disappeared from their sight.  
  
Luffy turned around to face Zoro again "What–?" he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and simultaneously analyzed Zoro's expression to get whatever kind of answer he could get from him.  
  
Zoro put on his infamous impassible expression and limited himself to shrug, as if it wasn't a big deal. "Dunno. But I guess you can go back to bed now." he suggested in a detached tone.  
  
Luffy looked as though Zoro had slapped him across the face "What the fuck?! You're sending me to bed? After what Ace just told you?" he barked, angrily.  
  
Zoro's left eyebrow quirked slightly "It's between me and Ace, you know that."  
  
Luffy was about to say something in return, but instead he bit the tip of his tongue. He turned on his heels and stormed out of the room. Zoro could tell he was fuming, but he could do nothing about it, at least not in that very moment.  
  
Agitation coursed through Zoro's body. He couldn't be friendly, couldn't show his real feelings towards the situation. Zoro had been trained by his father not to show his emotions so that he wouldn't give anything away to his opponents, and way too many times he had used that technique in his everyday life. In that moment, too, the best defense he could use was that: being a statue, so that no one could knock him out that easily.

 

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


Zoro wasn't sure whether Ace was taking forever to take his shower, or if his frustration was making it feel like Ace had stepped over to the bathroom a year and a half ago. Having an important talk with someone first thing in the morning was absolutely the last thing he needed, just having been woken up abruptly twice had a bad influence on his mood.  
  
He wondered if the conversation he was going to have would finally unveil the real reason behind his bad feeling, the one he had been unintentionally nurturing for days. Zoro wanted it to go away, even if he was all too aware that he wasn't going to like it, whatever it was going to be – not that it took a clairvoyant to know that.  
  
Zoro dropped back onto his bed with a groan, then breathed out a long, drawn out sigh as he stared up at the ceiling. He stared at the way the light from outside played with the shadows cast from the curtains and the half rolled up blinds, and all of a sudden he wished he wasn't home, not that it would solve anything, but it would probably buy him some time.  
  
An almost whispered _'hey'_ and a soft knock on the already opened door were enough to make Zoro suddenly sit back up, making him feel dizzy and forcing him to shut his eyes for a moment.  
  
"Sorry... I didn't–" Ace's words died on his lips, not because Zoro cut him off, he sounded like he couldn't bring himself to speak up properly.  
  
"'Tsfine..." Zoro muttered. He rubbed at his tired eyes and wasn't too surprised to find traces of black makeup across his fingers.   
  
Zoro brought himself to look over to Ace. He was standing in the doorway, pale and exhausted, but at the same time fidgety and unsure. He was wearing a pair of red sweatpants and an old, torn Helloween t-shirt, around his neck hung a towel he had probably used to rub his still wet hair.   
  
"Did you get any sleep? Do you wanna take a nap, maybe?" Ace tried.  
  
Zoro could barely believe that Ace was actually suggesting those things to him "You better be joking, Ace." he said in a tone that meant nothing good. How could he possibly be able to get even a wink of sleep knowing that Ace had something important to tell him?  
  
"No, no! You're right!" Ace waved both hands, his cheek pinking up in embarrassment "I was kidding." he nodded.  
  
"Don't just stand there, come in." Zoro beckoned him with a wave of the hand, then scrubbed both palms down his face. For a moment he wondered if he should have drank a cup of coffee, but then again his nerves would have probably tore through his skin.  
  
"Yeah," Ace nodded a bit too vehemently as he stepped inside, then turned to look at the door "should I? Uh..." he glanced over to Zoro and his murderous glare, and decided it was definitely best to close the door shut.  
  
"Are you gonna tell me where have you really been?" Zoro asked.  
  
Ace's eyes widened slightly "It doesn't really matter..." he replied evasively.  
  
"It does." Zoro insisted.  
  
Ace scoffed, visibly unnerved by Zoro's pressure. "Look, what I gotta tell you is so much more important than were I've been in the past hours. Trust me."  
  
Zoro didn't expect that answer, he expected Ace to cave right in and confess him where he had actually been that morning, but he didn't. He pressed his lips together into a thin line and folded his arms across his chest before shrugging his shoulders.   
  
"Go on, then." Zoro jerked his chin in Ace's direction, urging him to spill the beans already.  
  
Ace sucked in his lower lip, his shoulders sagging as he let his eyelids flutter shut for a few moments. He was still searching for the courage to speak, and Zoro was only feeling more anxious for the wait. Ace stepped forward, getting somewhat closer to Zoro but not enough to actually invade his personal space. He tightened his fists along his sides, then let out a shaky breath as he finally opened his mouth.  
  
"I've been keeping this, from everyone, for what feels like a decade, but it only happened a handful of days ago." Ace started.  
  
Zoro rapidly tried to count how many days ago could this handful be, and there had been too many events where he, Ace and the others had been together. He suddenly felt nauseous, but his stoic expression gave away nothing.  
  
Ace paused, not sure whether he should go on speaking, then he continued "I wish there was an easy way to tell you, I wish..." Ace swallowed thickly, averting his eyes for a moment as he went on "There's no easy way to tell you. I know you don't wanna hear me ramble but this is so... So painful for me." Ace grimaced, and he did look like he was hurting.  
  
Zoro didn't budge, his body barely moved even as he breathed, but his muscles were stiff and his nails were digging into the skin of his arms. He wasn't going to speak a word until Ace was going to be finished, he knew Ace was looking for a sign from him but there was no way Zoro was going to give him one.  
  
Ace looked at Zoro in the eye, bit his lower lip, gulped and opened his mouth again "During the party at Franky's– uh, well... It was practically over, everyone was out of it..." Ace rambled to himself more than to Zoro, shrugging a shoulder "We were all fucking drunk, and you were asleep... And–" Ace's voice broke and he had to stop speaking again. He rolled his rapidly reddening and watering eyes, then tilted his head to the side "Okay, I'll just say it. Sanji and I slept together."  
  
There it was.

Zoro's jaw tightened and his nostrils flared slightly. He had tried to tell himself that there was no way that could have happened, but Ace had just said it to his face, it couldn't get more real.  
  
"I swear to you, Zoro," Ace joined his hands together and shook his head "I would have never done it, never! I was shitfaced, I barely remembered a thing the morning after!"   
  
The only thing that Zoro could do was slowly shaking his head and letting his eyes drop shut. It was like his body had momentarily been drained of all its energy, and it was probably because the tension had suddenly vanished, but nothing had yet taken its place.   
  
"We didn't... I know we didn't go all the way, though. We just–" Ace tried to continue talking, but Zoro cut him off this time.  
  
"Shut up." Zoro growled lowly. There was no way he was going to sit through the detailed description of what Sanji's mouth did or where Ace's hand sneaked to. Zoro was still in the process of completely wrap his head around the information that had been given to him, and he didn't need Ace to go more in depth.  
  
"Okay, I know you're–"  
  
"I said, shut the fuck up." Zoro repeated as he opened his eyes again. To his ears, Ace's deep and warm voice had become the most unnerving thing on earth, he couldn't listen to him any longer, it felt like every single syllable cut right through his skin like a bucket of razor blades being dumped over him.  
  
Ace's was shaking slightly as he stared at Zoro with his mouth firmly shut.   
  
"I can't believe this." Zoro muttered. His throat felt swollen, on the verge of completely closing up and leave him to choke to death.  
  
"I never–"  
  
"Shut up!" Zoro roared, and Ace flinched back.  
  
Zoro felt anger and despair course through him, it wasn't one of those situation where he didn't know what he felt, he knew he was hurting from his very core. There was nothing more painful than betrayal, and nothing could hurt him more than his own brother and the one he loved betraying him like they did.  
  
"I knew something big was up, but this..." Zoro scoffed "This tops them all." he rose from his seat on the bed and slowly cleared the distance between he and Ace. "I don't care that you were drunk, you still fucked him!"  
  
Ace's jaw tightened and he lowered his eyes as Zoro got closer and closer to him, but didn't back up. "I know... I'm sorry."  
  
"You're not. You wouldn't have fucked him if you gave a shit." Zoro couldn't find it in his heart to forgive or only justify Ace's unacceptable behavior, especially because Zoro's heart had just shattered into a million pieces and it was going to take time to glue it all back.  
  
Ace's eyes widened, outrage warping his features "That's not true! I'd never do that to you if my brain actually worked! He came onto me!"  
  
"I don't give a shit!" by that point Zoro was shouting, but he still could keep himself from laying a single finger on Ace. "You guys _still_ fucked!"  
  
"We didn't go all the way, I told you!" Ace tried hold on to that detail, as if it could make things less awful. "We only–"  
  
Unbelievable. Ace was still trying to tell Zoro what they had done.  
  
"Are you actually an idiot, Ace? I don't wanna hear a thing of what you did! Sex is sex, no matter what!" Zoro yelled, his cheekbones flushed with anger and a vein on his forehead threatened to pop at any given moment.   
  
"Zoro, I'm telling you I'm sorry! So fucking sorry!" Ace started to shout back on impulse, even though his voice kept cracking on the brink of tears "I'm your brother, the last thing I wanted was to hurt you!"  
  
At those words Zoro saw red, and he couldn't help stabbing a finger against Ace's chest "You're not my brother. You never fucking were." he sneered, shaking his head "You've spent your life trying to be nice to me, while drooling over Sanji, the only person I've ever wanted!"  
  
"Zoro, don't." Ace shook his head wide-eyed as a single tear rolled down his cheek "You're angry, you're furious. But please, don't say this to me. Just don't. I love you."  
  
"Stop this, just fucking stop this." Zoro raised both hands, then used one to show Ace the door of his room. He had no idea as to what he was supposed to do, he didn't want to physically hurt his brother, but he couldn't stand the sight of him. "Get the fuck out. I can't look at you, now."  
  
"Zoro, please!" Ace cried out, his voice dripping with desperation.  
  
Zoro had to squeeze his eyes shut. He had never heard Ace's voice sound like that, not even when they were kids. The two of them had always been kind of alike on the matter, they rarely ever cried, even when they hurt themselves. Ace's tone was desperate, filled with raw pain, but Zoro couldn't accept it, not now.  
  
"I told you to leave my room, Ace!" Zoro repeated, forcing himself to look at his brother in his reddened eyes, trying to ignore his tear stricken face.  
  
Suddenly there was a bang coming from behind Ace that made both men jump, then Luffy appeared from the open door.  
  
"What's going on, here?!" Luffy shouted.  
  
Zoro hadn't even noticed how loud they were being, but it wasn't exactly like he could keep his voice low as his rage bubbled and fizzed out of him. He didn't need anyone else getting involved in this, but deep down he knew that sooner or later Luffy would have popped in.   
  
"Stay out of this, Luffy." Zoro spoke in the calmest tone he could manage, but it still came out as threatening.  
  
Luffy's eyes kept wandering between his two brothers, analyzing the situation. They focused on Ace's fat tears the most, then flew to Zoro's flushed, hardened features. Zoro was sure Luffy had eavesdropped on their conversation, but he didn't care, it wasn't something that was supposed to be kept as a secret anyway.  
  
"Guys, you need to calm down." Luffy tried to reason with them.  
  
A small, hollow laugh erupted from Zoro's throat "Don't you tell me to calm down right now, there's literally nothing that can calm me down."  
  
Luffy sighed, hanging his head before turning to Ace and his completely quiet crying. "What did you do?"  
  
Ace worried both his lips inside his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut in utter refusal.  
  
"Get out of this room, please." Zoro repeated. He couldn't stand being with other people in that moment, especially with Ace. "Leave me alone." he spoke as he turned his back on them and stared at a random spot outside his window.  
  
"Zoro..." Luffy tried calling him out softly.  
  
Zoro didn't reply, but his entire body stiffened, as he fought off the urge to shout at the top of his lungs. He wanted to be left alone, was that so hard to understand? It wasn't even like he was going to stay there for a long time, but he needed to figure things out before he could do anything. Many things.  
  
"The tour... The... The band." Luffy began to stammer out, and Zoro could pinpoint the exact moment in which Luffy finally realized how bad this actually was.  
  
"Fuck the tour. Fuck the band." Zoro growled out as he turned slightly to look at Luffy "I need to be alone, right now."  
  
Both Luffy and Ace looked like they were on the brink of shattering into a million pieces, but Zoro's answer seemed to finally do the trick. They left, slowly, as if Zoro's words weighed on them like a ton of rocks, shutting the door behind them and finally leaving Zoro with no one else but himself.  
  
He could feel his throat scratching from the yelling and a nasty feeling was tangling his guts together, amplifying his sense of nausea. Zoro wasn't gonna cry, but he felt the urge to destroy. He didn't exactly knew who or what he wanted to destroy, but his hands itched and his room looked like it was screaming to be torn apart.  
  
He drew in a huge breath, allowing his eyes to fall shut, but the darkness lasted only a few moments, because a series of images began to flash before his eyes: it was everything he could imagine Sanji and Ace doing in a bedroom, he could see the pleasure painted all over Ace's features, Sanji's mischievous smile as he licked his lips. Zoro opened his eyes and shook his head, trying to stop his imagination from going wild and driving him mad.  
  
He couldn't stay in that room, he needed some fresh air. He started rummaging through a pile of clothes that lied on a chair and pulled out whatever seemed clean enough from the bunch before throwing it on.   
  
As he quickly dressed up and slipped his boots on, Zoro decided which was the perfect spot he could spend some time in. He plugged his headphones to his cellphone, put them on and left the house as quickly as he could.   
  
He didn't even need to think about where he was going, his sense of direction wasn't going to betray him this way, he just let his feet work on instinct and tried to focus on the music, getting particularly fired up when Lacuna Coil's _I Don't Believe In Tomorrow_ came on. It may have seemed a bit too catastrophic to others, but it fit the moment so perfectly that Zoro had to keep himself from shouting out in frustration.  
  
 _'I want to say it now  
'Cause I don't believe in tomorrow  
The storm is raging now  
'Cause I lost my faith in you  
  
I want to have it now  
'Cause I don't believe in tomorrow  
Avenge what I know now  
'Cause I have no faith in you.'_

The wind blew harsh gusts against Zoro's skin, making the bottom of his coat float backwards and freezing his face, but Zoro could barely feel it, he could barely care. He kept marching on as music played idly in his careless ears, his mind was somewhere else and didn't let him focus on a single beat.  
  
Now everything was unraveling in his brain, things he couldn't understand started to make sense, odd phrases finally found a meaning, Sanji's weird behavior had an explanation now. All the talking about someone causing him problems, the choice of singing about being in love, the sudden burst of affection towards Zoro and the plea for Zoro not to abandon and always love him no matter what was going to happen.  
  
Sanji had fallen for Ace, now Zoro could finally say so, it was as clear as the sun and burnt twice as much. The realization punched him right in the guts and weakened his knees, so much that he had to stop walking for a few moment and he had to brace himself against a wall.   
  
It was worse than he had imagined, and the more time he had to reason over it, the worse it was going to get. Zoro knew all too well how impossible it is to control one's feelings, but he also couldn't help but curse his absolute shit luck in love. What a cruel joke it was that Sanji had fallen in love with Ace, the first and probably the only person Sanji had ever fallen for.   
  
Zoro was fully aware that he hadn't got any sort of priority or ownership towards Sanji, but he couldn't help how much it hurt. It was slowly tearing him apart from the inside, it felt like a blade had slit his heart open and there was no way to stitch it back together. He felt his throat knotting up, the corners of his eyes stinging and his lungs burning up, but he wasn't going to give in to crying, he simply wasn't. Zoro tried to suck in a deep, shuddering breath as he pulled himself back together and resumed walking.  
  
Zoro didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew that he had done the right thing when he had decided not to tell Sanji that he was going to stick with him no matter what, because he realized that there was no way he could stand being around Sanji now. It was time to give in, to move on, Zoro knew it now. For all this time Zoro had hoped for a sign, and even though that wasn't the sign he had really wished for, he had received the message loud and clear.   
  
His life had just been turned upside down in the roughest of ways and he was going to have to readjust himself around it, but that wasn't the time to think about all of that, it was time to let all that anger and grief pour out of him.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sanji hadn't planned on spending the day in his bed, not at all, even if he hadn't got much sleep he had washed his face, badly concealed the dark circles around his eyes and dressed up to start a double shift at the Baratie. The only problem came up when Zeff took a look at his shining eyes and flushed cheekbones and had chucked the thermometer and a pack of aspirins in his direction, forbidding him to even leave the house to buy cigarettes.  
  
Sanji had been too weak to argue, and without even opening his mouth to spit a few insults at his father he turned on his heels and went back to his room, shuffled out of his clothes and buried himself in a cocoon of blankets and a comforter.  
  
Sanji didn't really have much time to be angry at his body for betraying him like that, he knew he should have taken better care of himself, especially during such an important tour, but he was feeling too ill and exhausted to even think about that, and sooner than he thought he fell into a deep sleep, safe from poisonous thoughts and regrets of any kind.  
  
Sanji kind of had felt this fever brewing inside of him from the night before, he had been too exposed to the cold and his stress and anxiety had definitely affected his immune system, also the sleepless night hadn't helped at all.   
  
How could he have slept through the night, though, if his brain hadn't shut up for a second? Sanji couldn't stop wracking his brain over not being able to convince Ace to keep his mouth shut, over Zoro not wanting to comfort him in his weakness, and over what might have happened once Ace would officially decide to tell Zoro everything.  
  
The drugs kicked in and relieved Sanji's body from his illness, helping him nap through a few hours of the morning, recharging his biological batteries and allowing him to take a short break from his mental pain. Zeff had actually come home a few times to check on Sanji, worried about his son who got sick so rarely, but Sanji never really noticed, maybe just once around 10-ish, Zeff had spoken to him, asking how he was feeling, but he had only snorted and gone back to sleep.  
  
It was towards 11 A.M. that Sanji's phone chirped and vibrated with a text, startling him awake.   
  
"What the–" he muttered, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and squinting around the room until he localized the offending object... On the floor.  
  
Sanji picked up his phone, the battery was down to 15% and the screen was too dark for him to read anything. He sat up with a groan, cursing himself mentally for forgetting to charge his damn phone, and plugged it in. The screen lit up suddenly, and when Sanji checked the notification he had got, the name of the sender made his heart skip a beat: Ace.  
  
Sanji hovered the notification for a few seconds, then tapped it to open the almost telegraphic message.  
  
_'i told him'_   
  
Sanji let out a strangled cry and clapped a hand over his mouth right away. He was going to throw up. He dropped the phone on the unmade bed, scrambled up to his feet, his weak legs almost refusing to cooperate as he ran to the bathroom to heave what little he had put in his stomach the night before.  
  
Sanji retched until he was just dry heaving, his stomach cramping and his jaw sore. He let himself fall on his butt and gasped for air, his throat was on fire and he needed to absolutely wash out the disgusting taste in his mouth but he didn't have the strength to pull himself back up.  
  
Ace had told him. Zoro knew what had happened. Sanji's heart hammered wildly in his chest as his head filled up with so many thoughts that he had to clasp his hands around it. He needed to talk to Zoro, he had to inspect and analyze how Zoro had taken everything without raising suspects, he didn't want Zoro to know right away that Sanji knew Ace had confessed.  
  
Sanji forced himself back up to his feet and rinsed his mouth and face with trembling hands, then stumbled back to his room as quick as possible. He sank back down on his bed and grabbed his phone to quickly type up a casual message to Zoro.  
  
_'hey maruml whatd p?'_   
  
Sanji glared down at the typos made by his shaky fingers, erased the whole sentence and wrote it back in a slower pace.  
  
_'hey marimo whats up?'_ Sanji bit his lower lip and tried to decide whether he should add something else to the message.  _'i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last night.'_   
  
"Fuck off, Sanji." he grumbled to himself as he erased the last part, that sounded too unnatural, it was better to just send the first part of the message and see if Zoro was going to answer. As he hit the send button, Sanji debated whether he should have also answered Ace's message with a death threat or something, but for the time being he seriously had nothing to tell him.  
  
He had the obvious feeling that Zoro wasn't going to answer, but there was nothing he could do about it, he needed to wait, impatiently but he had to. Sanji let the phone fall back on the tangled covers and nervously ran his fingers a few times through his hair, then proceeded to nibble on his nails and accidentally covering his tongue and lips in small flakes of black nailpolish.  
  
The more time passed, the more Sanji wanted to scream and claw his face out. He perfectly knew he had put himself into that horrible mess, but he couldn't help his anguish and fear. He had checked his phone a hundred times, even though he knew he hadn't got any messages, but he wanted to hope that even if his phone made no noise maybe he still had received an answer from Zoro. He decided it was time to send another message.  
  
_'dude are you still sleeping? you're the worst'_ Sanji hit send and complimented himself mentally for being able to still come up with such laid-back texts.  
  
He became more and more impatient, his terror increasing exponentially as he sent more messages but didn't get even a single answer. Sanji finally decided that he had to try and call him, radio silence was about to kill him. It took him way too long to actually make the call, and when he did he felt like he was going to vomit again. Zoro's phone rang and rang, and right when Sanji was about to hang up Zoro answered.  
  
_"Leave me the fuck alone. Don't you dare calling me ever again, we're done."_   
  
_Click._   
  
Zoro hung up right away, leaving Sanji to stare wide eyed at nothing in particular with his jaw slacked and the phone pressed to his ear.   
  
The way in which Zoro had said ' _We're done'_ echoed in Sanji's ears at least a thousand times, and every time it broke his heart into smaller pieces. He had dropped the phone but still hadn't moved, he was frozen in that position and still couldn't quite wrap his head around what had just happened. That couldn't possibly be happening.  
  
He had made a mistake, how could that mistake result in such a drastic closure? That didn't make sense! Sanji knew he had never really been a perfect best friend, but Zoro had never really minded, why would it be so bad now? He fucked his brother, so what? Ace is an adult, he can take his own decisions and make his own mistakes, why did Zoro have to be so awful about it? The more he though about it, the more absurd it sounded. He couldn't just let their friendship flush down the toilet like that, not to mention the fact that Sanji was in love with Zoro... It couldn't possibly end like that, not on his watch.  
  
Sanji picked his phone back up and texted Ace a simple question:  
  
_'is he home?'_   
  
He knew the chances were low, but he needed to know where he could reach Zoro, and if he wasn't home, Sanji already had a possible and very likely place in mind.   
  
Sanji dressed up quickly as he waited for Ace's reply, ignoring his mild dizziness and weakness, he slipped on a pair of ankle combat boots and shrugged on the warmest coat he owned. In the meantime his phone had buzzed for the first time in what had felt like years, Sanji picked it up and read Ace's answer.  
  
_'he left more than an hour ago'_   
  
Sanji slipped the half charged phone into the pocket of his coat and left the house in a rush. He needed to get to the dojo as fast as his legs allowed him to.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There weren't many places that Sanji was sure Zoro could have taken refuge in, he could hit a bar or maybe stay at Franky's, but Sanji knew him well enough to know that in a state of great rage, Zoro would absolutely need to let everything out physically, so the dojo was a perfect place.   
  
Judging by the time, Sanji could tell that the dojo was about to close down for lunch but he was still on time to at least catch either Shanks or Mihawk before they left the place – he needed someone to let him in, after all.  
  
Sanji's head was in no condition to let him think about whatever he could have told Zoro, so he was going to have to improvise. He knew he was going to face an incredibly hostile Zoro, but he didn't know how he was going to react, he doubted they could actually get physical but given the possibility, Sanji didn't have health on his side and that worried him.  
  
Why couldn't Ace just keep his mouth shut? Sanji knew how difficult it was to keep things from Zoro, but it was still simpler than confronting him and opening Pandora's damned box. He didn't even know how things had actually gone between Ace and Zoro, he didn't know if Zoro had kicked his brother's ass but he doubted that, Zoro wouldn't so easily just raise his hands on Ace.  
  
Sanji's body was about to give in when he only had one block of distance left between the dojo and himself, but his lungs felt like they had caught on fire and his legs and back were killing him. He stopped, bending over and resting his hands on his knees as he tried to get some energy back, breathing wasn't the most pleasant thing in that moment, but he had to endure the pain and go on. He was a fighter after all, he could do that.  
  
He half jogged towards the entrance of he dojo, and nearly cried tears of joy when he saw Shanks on the threshold – he was also incredibly happy not to see Mihawk around, he couldn't have handled dealing with him too.  
  
"Hey! Shanks!" Sanji called out, raising a hand and smiling at the older man.  
  
"Sanji!" Shanks smiled back, and Sanji couldn't help but see both Luffy's and Ace's smiles in there too.  
  
"Is Zoro inside? I've been trying to reach him all morning, but you know how your son is–" Sanji left the sentence hanging and rolled his eyes. Hopefully Zoro's pride had pushed him not to tell anything specific to anyone else.  
  
Shanks scoffed and shook his head "He's just like Mihawk, I know." then he smirked softly and jerked his thumb over his shoulder "He's in his training room, but he looked pissed, I warn you." his expression turned more serious towards the end of the sentence.  
  
"Shocker." Sanji tried to joke a bit, and succeeded in tearing a chuckle from Shanks.  
  
"I'm heading back home, now." Shanks patted Sanji's shoulder, then squinted at him "You look ill, by the way, don't hang around for too long, okay?"  
  
Sanji raised his eyebrows, no matter how hard he faked it, he probably still looked like hell. Or maybe it was just Shanks' mother duck instincts.   
  
"I won't. Promise." Sanji smiled softly and looked at Shanks winking at him and finally leaving. He turned to look at the glass door of the dojo and sucked in a deep, shaky breath.  
  
It was time. There was no turning back, and he didn't even know if he was going to be able to fix things right away, but he had to try. Maybe he wasn't as good as Luffy at fixing things with Zoro, but he was supposed to be Zoro's best friend, and they had been through so much shit together that he couldn't see how they couldn't get past this, too.

The dojo was immersed in this penumbra that felt somewhat sinister, but it was probably just Sanji's mind playing a trick on him – he was so anxious that everything looked worse than he actually was. It was kind of strange seeing it so empty, almost deprived of its purpose, if it weren't for the hammering, muffled noise coming from its furthest corner, the dojo would have been completely silent.   
  
Zoro was there and he was giving vent to all his pent up feelings, Sanji could hear him grunt and groan with every single movement he made. Sanji stopped for a second, he realized he was trembling slightly and a thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead, only he didn't know whether he should attribute those reaction to anxiety or to his fever. Either way his heart was pounding and his stomach was twisting and knotting in the most unpleasant of ways.   
  
He began to think that he couldn't do it, he was too afraid of actually facing him. Ace had always been off-limits, Sanji was well aware of that, and as handsome and sexy Ace was, Sanji had managed to keep his hands and body off of him for many years. He may have been a pervert, but he respected boundaries, up until when he met jealousy and it utterly won over him.   
  
Sanji was forced to snap out of his thoughts when he heard a loud thud and a curse, then Zoro beginning to mutter something inaudible that made Sanji scowl and resume his slow walking. He reached the training room, but didn't enter right away, he held his breath and peeked inside: there were several huge barbells and all kinds of weights lying all around Zoro, but what caught Sanji's attention the most was the broken punching bag that had been kicked to the side to hang up a new one.   
  
Zoro was fuming, he could tell as much by his body language and the severe frown on his face. Sanji bit his lips as he watched Zoro's tattooed back glisten in the yellow light that flooded the room, his biceps flexing and his... Shit, he wasn't there to check Zoro out, damn his hormones!   
  
Sanji shook his head and gently placed a hand on the cracked door, but didn't push it open right away. He hung his head, trying to gather up all his courage as his head began to slightly hurt and his stomach tightened a tiny bit more.   
  
"Come on." Sanji whispered to himself, then finally pushed the door opened.  
  
Zoro froze right away, the disbelieving look in his eyes only lasted for a few seconds before being replaced by fury.  
  
"Get out of my face." Zoro growled "I thought I'd been quite clear on the fucking phone." he averted his eyes from Sanji and started throwing violent punches at the bag. Sanji thought that Zoro was probably fantasizing of punching him and the thought nearly made him smirk.  
  
"I have no idea why you're being like this!" Sanji finally managed to speak to Zoro for the first time that day. He was lying through his teeth, but he needed to put up a show. "You can't just randomly shut me out like this!"  
  
Zoro didn't look away from the bag as he kept on hitting it "You're one to fucking talk! King of shutting me out."  
  
Sanji opened and closed his mouth right away. There was nothing he could say in return, Zoro was painfully right.  
  
"And you know what this is about, you jerk." Zoro scoffed "Ace definitely told you he spoke to me." the last punch he threw to the bag made it recoil so hard that it dislodged from where it hung and fell to the ground.  
  
Sanji looked down at the bag "We were drunk out of our minds, man."  
  
"Please, spare me from this bullshit." Zoro groaned as he put the punching bag back up, and paused to drink some water.  
  
"Right, Ace probably used this card, too, but it's true." Sanji shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Zoro huffed with hollow laughter "That's very convenient." he nodded, before taking another sip of water "But it doesn't change what you did." Zoro flung the empty plastic bottle right into a small, brown bin, then resumed his training.  
  
Sanji's anxiety was quickly being replaced by annoyance. Zoro's attitude was ticking him off, he wasn't giving Sanji any importance, he didn't look like he wanted to confront him, nor like he wanted to at least fight with him... Zoro looked like he didn't care about Sanji at all, and it pissed him off.  
  
"We're all adults, for fuck's sake!" Sanji bursted "Why don't we act like it?"  
  
Zoro still didn't take his attention off his punching bag, and a smirk curved his lips "You're telling this to yourself, I presume?"

That was the exact moment in which Sanji saw red, his very limited patience and his control flew out of the window, tired of putting up with Zoro's attitude.

  
"What the fuck is your problem, anyway?" Sanji bursted all of a sudden "What are you trying to do, protect your brother from me? The monster who will fuck him and then break his heart?" he asked, with a flail of his arms "Well I got news for you. Ace is a grown ass man, who has always fucked around  _just_ like me. I'm pretty sure he can handle himself!"  
  
Zoro had stopped exercising halfway through Sanji's outburst to stare at him with his trademark unimpressed scowl, as if he was completely unfazed by whatever happened to him. Sanji wanted to kick that stupid expression off his face.  
  
"I know he is an adult, but he didn't really act like one that night. I know it." Zoro replied in a tone so calm that it only infuriated Sanji more.  
  
"What the fuck do you care?!" Sanji yelled, spreading his arms and looking at Zoro in dismay "You were sleeping with your shitty boyfriend, anyway." he added in a tone that oozed bitterness.  
  
Zoro's stoic expression fell, making way for shock and maybe also a bit of outrage "My b–" he blinked, at a loss "Bartolomeo is  _not_ my boyfriend, and you fucking know that."  
  
Sanji scoffed, grimacing. Just thinking about Bartolomeo made him want to barf. "You were all curled up together on that shitty couch, and Ace and I decided to fuck. So what?" he sneered, poisonous, emphasizing the last part of the sentence.  
  
Sanji had seen Zoro's eyes looking that big, almost as if they were about to pop out of their sockets, very rarely. Zoro shook his head, incredulous "You fucked Ace only because you saw me with Barto?"  
  
Barto. He called him  _Barto_ . Sanji could barely stomach hearing that nickname rolling off Zoro's tongue. At the same time, though, Sanji couldn't let Zoro understand that Ace had been a clear rebound.

"What?" Sanji snorted, trying to sound as amused as possible by Zoro's implication "No. I fucked him 'cause I wanted to." he said casually as he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Zoro's face warped again, rage taking shock's place and making him look as if he was twice his normal size. "That's right. Because you only ever think about your goddamn self." he growled lowly.  
  
Sanji reared back, strangely intimidated by the odd light shining in Zoro's eyes, but it wasn't enough to shut him up completely. After the first moment of vacillation, Sanji was ready to attack again, his rage being his strength.   
  
"If I don't think about me, who the fuck will?" Sanji roared.

He was selfish because it was his only way to survive in a world that was too cold and competitive for him to think about others, in a world where he had to be alone if he didn't want to suffer.  
  
Zoro slammed both his boxing gloved hands against his own chest, and a grimace that Sanji couldn't define appeared on his distressed face. " _I_ will!" he admitted with a loud growl "I always have!"   
  
Sanji's eyes grew wider underneath knitted eyebrows. Zoro looked offended, hurt almost, and it was the first time he was showing any kind of emotion since the conversation had started. Sanji couldn't quite wrap his head around that sudden change, he could only stare at Zoro in confusion, unable to utter anything in return, almost incapable of breathing.  
  
"I've never expected, nor demanded anything from you," Zoro started, as if a dam had busted and there was no way to contain the waterfall of words he was about to spill. "because I don't own you, and you don't owe me anything. Maybe some respect would have been good, but you've always been blinded by your ego."  
  
"I  _do_ respect you!" Sanji cut in, offended by Zoro's accusations. Zoro had always been the person he'd loved the most, even before realizing he had feelings for him.  
  
"No, you don't, you idiot!" Zoro barked in return, then proceeded to take off his gloves as he went on, his eyes not moving away from Sanji's "You've stomped all over me multiple times, and now you've fucked my brother to top it all!" he violently flung the gloves aside. "I'm tired, Sanji. I'm exhausted."  
  
Sanji's heart started racing in his chest, his throat closing up at the same time. He never saw himself as horrible, or at least he had never thought he could hurt Zoro in any way. Zoro did look as exhausted as he claimed to be, though, he didn't look furious, he just looked... Done. That was probably the scariest part.  
  
"Zoro..." Sanji whispered, then shook his head "I never meant to..."  
  
"Hurt me?" Zoro asked, his sharp eyebrows raising "I used to think that, but what you did with Ace... That's being an asshole on purpose."  
  
"Zoro–" Sanji tried to speak again, even though there was nothing he could really say to justify himself, because Zoro was right, he had done it to get back at him.  
  
"Don't do that, don't say my fucking name like that, don't say it at all!" Zoro shut him down "I can't do this anymore! I thought I could, but I can't!"  
  
"What?" Sanji shouted, both in frustration and fear "What is it that you cannot do?"  
  
Zoro stiffened and his face hardened again, as he went back to his stoic self. "I can't deal with you anymore." he spoke in a calm tone, shaking his head.  
  
Sanji felt like the sky had fallen and all its weight was about to crash down on him. He blinked a few times, then tilted his head as he asked in a broken voice "W-what?"  
  
Zoro shut his eyes, then took a deep breath "I don't wanna see you anymore, Cook."  
  
"You can't–" Sanji choked on his own words, he began to feel the pieces of the sky falling all over him. Zoro couldn't be serious, there was no way he could. "You can't do this to me!" he growled as he stepped closer to Zoro "You can't leave me!"  
  
"I have to!" Zoro retorted "I thought I could overcome this, but I can't. It's too much!" he raised his voice but didn't lock gazes with Sanji.  
  
Sanji grabbed Zoro's chin and tried to force him to look at him "Say that to my face, at least! You fucking coward!"   
  
Zoro slapped Sanji's arm away and looked at Sanji in the eye "I'm done! I don't wanna see you anymore!"   
  
There was a sharp pain in Sanji's chest, his breath caught in his throat as he heard those words and Zoro's angry eyes pierced right through him. Was that a heartbreak? A real one? He hadn't felt anything like that since when his mother had died. Not even when that girl back in high school confessed that she had only played with him. No, that had been nothing, it was just a crush on a girl he barely even knew, that was so much different. Zoro was his whole world.  
  
"No..." Sanji shook his head "No, you promised you'd never abandon me." he felt his throat knotting up and tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't want to cry.  
  
"It hurts too much to stay beside you." Zoro replied, and Sanji swore he could see his eyes were watering as well.  
  
"We've been friends our whole lives! You said you were gonna stick with me through thick and thin!" Sanji was starting to yell again, and he could barely keep himself from slamming his fists against Zoro's chest. Then something else suddenly dawned on him, and his voice died in his throat as he dared asking "W-what about the band?"  
  
Zoro's jaw tightened. He looked away from Sanji once again, then spoke "You'll find a new drummer. A better one."  
  
Sanji's knees suddenly became too weak to hold his weight, and he fell against Zoro who promptly held him up. That was too much to take in, his heart couldn't bear all that pain, it was impossible.  
  
"No..." Sanji breathed out "No, no, no..." he shook his head as his fingers gripped Zoro's arms "No, don't do this to me, please. Don't do this!" he cried, and this time he couldn't hold back his tears.  
  
"I have to." Zoro pushed Sanji back, but didn't let go of his shoulders because he still couldn't stand still on his own. "I have to be selfish for once, if I want to survive."  
  
"Why?!" Sanji shouted all of a sudden, using all the energy he had left. He knew he had been a dick, he knew he had hurt Zoro and maybe he had never really treated him so well, but he couldn't understand why Zoro would punish him like that. It was too much, it was exaggerated. "Why the fuck don't you wanna see me anymore?!" he kept yelling, even if his throat burnt and his mouth tasted like blood.

Creases formed on Zoro's forehead as he drew his eyebrows together, and for a short while his anger was replaced by concern. He moved one of his hands from Sanji's shoulders to his cheek, then his forehead, and even if Sanji would have wanted to push him away he couldn't, he was petrified.  
  
"You're burning up." Zoro almost murmured "You should go home."  
  
Sanji found the strength to bat Zoro's hand off his own brow, not letting a moment of tenderness get to him. Things hadn't changed, Zoro was still going to abandon him, even if he was worried about his health.  
  
"Don't change subject!" Sanji snarled.  
  
Zoro sighed, dropping his worry, hanging his head for a moment. He shook his head "The fact that you have to ask why, is one of the answers itself." he removed his hand from Sanji's shoulder, then waved it "Figure it out."   
  
With those words Zoro took a couple steps back and picked up his t-shirt and hoodie from the floor in order to get dressed again. Sanji observed him for a while, confusion and fever frying his brain as he felt more silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He wiped them away, angry, he couldn't let this happen.  
  
"You're a bastard! You know that?" Sanji cried out, for starters.  
  
"Yeah..." Zoro sighed, not turning around "You've said that plenty of times."   
  
"Well, this time I mean it!" Sanji went on growling. He knew he was starting to act like a child, but Zoro had turned so cold and distant that he had no idea what to do. "You said you weren't gonna abandon me! You said that it isn't true that everyone I care about leaves!" he kept sneering, his fists tight by his sides, nails digging into his palms.  
  
Zoro huffed as he shrugged on his coat "I never thought this was gonna happen, honestly. But there's a limit to everything," he spread his arms "and I've reached mine."  
  
Sanji glared daggers at Zoro and shook his head "You're fucking awful."   
  
Zoro nodded "Maybe I am." then jerked his chin in Sanji's direction "But so are you."  
  
Sanji felt his heart shrink. That was the last straw, and he couldn't take it anymore. "If that's what you want, then so be it." Sanji stuck one of his fists inside the pocket of his coat, then flipped Zoro the bird with his right hand "Fuck you."   
  
Zoro huffed a hollow laughter and shook his head. Sanji's nostrils flared, he bared his teeth and turned around to storm out of the dojo, most definitely for the last time.

As the thought finally hit him he had to stop, take a look around and suppress an angry sob. That place had never changed all that much through the years, Mihawk liked traditional things and would have never wanted his dojo to look  _'modern'_ . It wasn't in bad shape, it was splendid, always perfectly tidy and clean, there wasn't a single thing out of its place. He remembered causing havoc in that place with Zoro and his siblings one too many times, as children, he remembered Shanks threatening to kill them and Mihawk actually trying to do that. He remembered sparring with Zoro, laughing with him, arguing with him in that very place.   
  
Sanji shook his head. Reminiscing was the last thing he should be doing in that moment, he needed to get going, even if the need to wreck the entire place was stronger than ever. He shouldn't do that, Mihawk and Shanks had nothing to do with what had just happened.  
  
Sanji attempted to swallow the awful knot in his throat, then pushed the glass door open for the last time and walked out. He wanted to scream, scream harder than when he had broken his arm falling off a tree while he was challenging Zoro to a climb off.   
  
Realizing that Zoro was practically in everyone of his memories made everything harder and more painful, so he forced himself to try and keep his head as empty as possible. He needed to get home, he needed to crawl into his bed and possibly never get out of it. Though the more he tried to repress any kind of thoughts, the more he couldn't stop wracking his brains over what was going to happen next.  
  
He knew for a fact that Ace was going to hate him for a very long time, Luffy was probably going to hate him forever. The rest of their friends was basically going to do the same since Zoro had decided to quit the band.  
  
"Fuck..." Sanji whispered. "Fuck!" he growled out loud.  
  
Murder Of Crows was going to crumble, and with it Sanji and Zoro's dreams. Sanji's biggest purpose in life. He was going to have to tell Zeff that he had always been right, that his dream was stupid and that working at Baratie for the rest of his days was the only option.  
  
He had been such a fool to think that he could be anything more than what he already was, to hope that at least one person was really going to stay by his side forever.   
  
Sanji bit down hard on his lips and heard the metal of his lipring creaking underneath his teeth. He didn't have much strength left, his throat was completely shut and his eyes were blurred with tears. He didn't know how his legs were still carrying him, how his feet were still taking him home, but he sure as hell knew that he couldn't make it up the stairs.  
  
Once he arrived to the Baratie, he sat down on the threshold, ignoring the whispering of the customers that were sitting at the tables. He had zero fucks left to give, so he just rested the side of his head against the doorjamb, closed his eyes, let the tears flow and passed out.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, it's been so long since I've actually updated, I'm scared most of you won't even remember about me or this story at all, haha. I hope you can forgive me, and I'm sure you can understand that life has to come before writing, especially when you're writing something you're not getting paid for, but you don't have to fear, not even for one second that I will not finish this, because I will. It might take some time, but eventually you'll see the ending of this story, because I hold it very dear and I do not intend on leaving it incomplete.
> 
> Thank you all for your support and beautiful words, I keep receiving the most beautiful comments and messages and they're what keeps me going! You're all so precious and dear, and I'm so happy that you enjoy my hard work! That's why I hope you'll be able to enjoy this chapter, that I was finally able to complete after many, many weeks of struggling over it/avoiding it completely. Have fun!

Zoro stared at the torn apart punching bag lying on the floor, wheezing, trembling. He was looking, but he wasn't really seeing anything, he had punched that bag so hard, once Sanji had left, that he had destroyed it. He clenched and unclenched his right hand a couple of times, his knuckles bleeding and bruising, but he could barely feel them stinging.

Zoro felt dazed, disoriented, everything had happened so fast that he had barely had time to process everything. In a matter of hours everything important to him had flown out of the window, and for a moment Zoro thought it couldn't have really happened to him. He wasn't even mad, he was exhausted and in pain, more mentally than physically.

He hadn't been ready to speak with Sanji, not yet, he didn't think he would have actually come look for him, and he didn't think he would find him right away. Yet again, Sanji knew Zoro too well, and that wasn't always a good thing. He knew where to hit if he wanted to hurt him, what buttons he had to push if he wanted to piss him off... And now that he knew that Sanji had also slept with Ace on purpose, just because he couldn't stand Bartolomeo being around him, he knew that Sanji's selfishness knew absolutely no limits.

Zoro began to wonder if Sanji knew about the way he felt for him, but just the thought of him being so awful on purpose while being aware of Zoro's feelings made him want to claw his face out. No, that would have probably been too evil, even for Sanji.

He groaned, tormented by too many thoughts, too many voices expressing clashing opinions and confusing him to no end. There was a part of him that had never felt more relieved before, but another one suffered, and it was progressively taking over.

When Sanji had gone away, it had felt like the light had been taken away from Zoro's life. It was just like being scared of the dark, of being completely blind and oblivious of your surroundings, fear gripping at your stomach tight and smothering you as your heart hammers against your ribs, deafening.

Zoro held his head between his hands, letting his eyes fall shut as he tried to block out all that pain, all that anger, but he couldn't... That time it was too overwhelming, even for him. He allowed himself to feel, to grieve, because if he buried it all again he was pretty sure he was going to explode.

It was the sort of pain that made you wonder whether you'd ever truly suffered in the past. Zoro felt like someone had slashed a deep gash in his chest, but there was no treating it, no amount of stitches could sew it back up, no disinfectant could clean it. He was helpless, bleeding, hurting, and nothing could possibly make it better.

Zoro allowed himself to shut the rest of the world out, but not for too long, because soon enough his parents were going to come back to the dojo, and he was in no condition to talk about what had happened. He didn't want questions to be asked, and while he knew Mihawk would have been discreet, Shanks would have pestered Zoro to no end to try and make him talk.

He couldn't stay at the dojo, even though he was supposed to be teaching in the afternoon, he couldn't go back home, because there was no way he'd want to face his brothers, but he needed some place to go. Zoro decided that he had to at least leave the dojo, and then he would have thought about it.

He scrubbed both hands down his sweaty face, then tried to clean up his mess as fast as he could, before actually picking up his coat to shrug it on and leave. As he stuck his hands inside his pockets, Zoro touched his cellphone and more thoughts sparked up: he needed to tell everyone he was quitting the band.

That wasn't exactly a petty matter, something small and insignificant, Murder Of Crows was an enormous part of his life, it was his greatest passion, his future, his dream... Hell, it was a part of him. A part of him that he had to give up in order to survive, but he knew perfectly that the others weren't going to take it well.

The Crows were his family, just as much as his real one, he loved everyone of those people to bits and pieces, but there was little he could do in a time like that. He couldn't possibly work and function with Sanji and Ace, at least not immediately, it would have affected the band greatly, and during an important tour it was the last thing needed.

Zoro had no idea as to how he should have told them, but there were little to none possible ways that didn't include him telling them over the phone - and to be more specific, on their Whatsapp group. He knew it was soulless, and it was probably going to make him look like a coward, but it was the only way he could do that.

Zoro ran his fingers through his wet hair, a shower hadn't even crossed his mind, he considered starting a casual conversation on the group that would lead to his revelation, but he couldn't do that, he wasn't in the right mindset to lie so blatantly. There was no way and no need to sugarcoat something like that, no matter how he'd break it to them, it would still hurt them, so being blunt was probably the best way to go.

He checked the time and decided it would have been best to just go somewhere else, because there was no way he'd face his parents in such a critical moment. Zoro pushed his phone deeper inside his pocket, then proceeded to leave the dojo, locking it up on his way out.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The hostile weather greeted him like an old enemy, lately it seemed like the sky could only bring wind and rain over the city. Everything seemed way too fitting for Zoro's mood and it made him roll his eyes almost to the back of his skull. He didn't even like that kind of weather, he'd rather have snow if he couldn't have a regular sunny day. Zoro pulled up the hood of his sweater, glared up at the dark rain clouds and tried to walk underneath balconies and cornices.

He had no idea where he wanted to go, and jokes about his non-existing sense of direction aside, he actually wished he could just vanish into thin air, so that he didn't have to face anyone on the planet. Still that wasn't something so attainable, so his best option was to reach somewhere dry and warm where he could spend as many hours as he needed, until he'd figure out what to do.

Zoro needed to be smart about where he was going to take refuge in, too, because he didn't have to be somewhere predictable, somewhere he could be easily found in by anyone he knew. A bar would be far too obvious, but at the same time he needed as much booze as his body could take.

He eyed a store on his left, immediately thinking that he could buy a bottle of alcohol and take it with him. He really wished he would have brought his gym bag with him, he could have hidden a few bottles in there. Zoro stopped in his tracks, not minding the rain soaking his hood and wetting the hair underneath, and just crossed the street to get into the store. He was pretty sure he could still find a small bottle of something strong as hell.

In the store he managed to find a small bottle of whiskey, and a miniature bottle of classic Smirnoff – pretending he hadn't seen the strawberry flavored one, since it was Sanji's favorite. After his purchase, he stuffed everything into the inner pockets of his coat, and resumed walking.

Zoro had decided that it was probably best to enter the most crowded coffee shop he could find, going against many of his principles, since it was the only place he could try to blend in and where he could hide himself better while he poured vodka into his coffee black.

His small evil plan went smoothly, maybe even too much, but he wasn't planning on getting hammered in a coffee shop, so hopefully he wasn't gonna get thrown out. Zoro sat in the furthest corner of a godforsaken Starbucks, sipping coffee and vodka as he tried to muster the courage to tell his friends that he intended to quit the band he had founded together with the damn Cook.

He took a look around, making sure that no one was watching, and added a few more ounces of vodka to his coffee, then picked up his phone from the table. It was right in that moment that the device buzzed with a text, leaving Zoro to scowl down at it. He didn't think it was Sanji, he knew he wouldn't insist anymore, but at the same time he really hoped it wasn't Luffy because he couldn't deal with him at the moment. Still he took a sip of his beverage and checked the sender.

Eustass.

Well, that was exactly the last person he imagined to receive a message from. At least he was no one who could pester him to get back home... But thinking about it, it could only mean that it had something to do with the band. He hesitated to read it, he didn't want to know what it was about, whether they could be good news or bad news, he didn't want things to get harder. At the same time, though, he took it as a sign, the cue for Zoro to find the strength he needed to tell everyone, even Freakshow. He tapped on the screen and the conversation popped open.

_'oi roronoa i've got great news for the tour! ppl like us so much that they want more dates to attend so we're actually doin it! we'll let u know the dates as soon as they're set'_

Zoro's heart sank to his stomach. People loved them, they were seriously starting to be more famous, they were one step closer to becoming professionals, yet Zoro had to abandon everything. He had to leave the plastic cup on the table if he didn't want to crush it, his jaw tightening as he looked away from his phone. It was unfair, it was completely unfair to him, but there was nothing else he could do if he didn't want the Crows to completely disband over the awful fights that would come if he stayed.

He watched the people around him, oblivious to everything he was going through, some seemed blissful, other busy, and some looked concerned. Zoro knew he didn't have it worse than others, but in that moment he seriously wanted to tear the place down.

If he really thought about it, it was kind of ridiculous, it was as if the world was trying to make it as hard as possible for Zoro to detach himself from The Crows. He needed to be stronger than that whole situation, he needed to grab the bull by the horns and finally act like he was supposed to. No more bullshit, no more swallowing down bitter pills, he needed to do what was best for his mental health.

Zoro took another sip of his alcoholic coffee, rubbed at his lips with the back of his hand and stared at the text he had received to come up with a good answer. His tongue poked out of his mouth to run between his somewhat chapped lips, the wind hadn't exactly done good service to them, then finally started to slowly type up a suitable reply.

_'wow... this is great news indeed but there's a problem that concerns me at least. shit happened and i can no longer be part of the crows so u might wanna talk to nami about this shes the most suitable leader figure there. i'll attach her number to this text'_

Zoro tapped the send button, without giving it too much thought, preventing himself from erasing bits and pieces or editing the content any further, and proceeded to attach Nami's number to the following message. The text was bold, maybe blunt, but that was how Zoro was, there weren't other ways to put it, it was much better to be sincere and not dance around the subject for too long. Zoro was way too tired of dancing around things, for the matter.

He scrubbed a hand down his face and pressed his fingertips against his closed eyes, then without further hesitation he opened the Crows convo and began to write up what was on his mind. He was on a roll, so he'd have better gone through with it.

_'so i know i shouldnt be doing this through damn whatsapp but atm theres nothing more i can do. as brutal as it may sound i am forced to leave the band for a while probably for good idk. if you wanna know more about this whole story i suggest you ask sanji and ace whats goin on. bye for now'_

It took Zoro only a few seconds to get it out of his system, it was brief and probably as cold as ice, but it was the best thing he could come up with, not to mention that as smart as his friends were they'd probably figure out what had happened in the blink of an eye. Not to mention that basically everyone and their mothers knew how hopelessly in love was Zoro with Sanji, so they'd figure it out as fast as lightning.

Zoro knew that his message would probably wreak havoc, but he didn't have the energy to read any answer he was going to get, so he promptly switched off the notifications for the Crows group and placed the phone back down on the table.

He stared down at the plastic surface of the table, he focused on a small, faded stain of coffee and began to think about how final all of this sounded. It broke his heart even more, even though he knew he was deliberately putting himself through all of that, but it was the best choice he could make.

Zoro knew the band couldn't function if two or more members were involved in a fight, they'd purposely get on each other's nerves, they wouldn't focus on playing and they basically wouldn't be able to do any work. Even though he had told this to himself at least a thousand times already, he thought it better to remind himself that he was doing the right thing... Just in case, especially now that he had officially quit the band. He knew the fans would have been disappointed, but he was the drummer, after all, they'd still have their beloved frontman.

Zoro patted on the left side of his coat, where the inner pocket was located, holding the mini bottle of Smirnoff. He nearly slipped his hand inside the coat when he spotted one of the baristas scowling at him, so he just pretended he needed to scratch his chest. Zoro was definitely playing with fire by drinking inside a coffee shop, he shouldn't have pushed his luck too much.

When he looked back down at his half empty coffee, he spotted a white LED blinking by the top left side of his Samsung Galaxy screen, meaning he had actually received a Whatsapp message. Zoro sighed and pressed the middle button to unlock the screen and see who the sender was, since by that point it could be anyone. He expected it to be either Eustass, or one of his friends, but not Sanji, he knew he probably wasn't going from him for quite a long time.

Zoro's eyebrow quirked when he saw Franky's name pop up, among all he was the one he least expected to hear from, privately. Curios, he opened up the message to read what the big guy had to say about all that crap.

_'zoro, i know we havent really had the chance to spend much time together lately, but i want ya to know that im here for ya if ya need someplace safe. i guess ya dont wanna see ace either rn, so why dont ya pop by? i have so much booze i cant drink all by myself.'_

A smirk curved Zoro's lips while reading the text, the last part probably being the most amusing, but the kindest at the same time. Franky had always been a great friend, and even though Zoro usually preferred to keep things buried deep inside of him, in that moment he could have definitely used someone to talk to and a place to stay, at least for a while.

He let out a sigh, a relieved one, but just when he was about to reply to Franky, Shanks began to call him. Zoro hung his head with a low groan, then grabbed his cup and stood up. He didn't know if he was going to have to shout at his father, so the best thing to do was not being in a closed space. Zoro picked up on his way out, knowing that not taking the call was absolutely not an option.

"Yeah?" Zoro tried not to sound too annoyed.

"Where the hell are you? Your students are here!" Shanks hissed, clearly trying to keep it down a notch in the dojo.

Zoro sighed "Look, just send them home if Mihawk doesn't wanna take over, okay? I'm in no condition to teach anyone, today."

"What the fuck are you talking about? What's up with you?" Zoro could practically hear the deadly glare in Shanks voice.

"I can't work, not today at least." Zoro shrugged, nearly spilling the coffee that was left in the cup.

"Zoro, these kids pay to be here. You better get your ass over–" Zoro didn't let him finish.

"Dad, I can't do it. Just... I don't know, take the day out of my paycheck, I'm not–" Zoro didn't feel like telling him what was happening, not yet, not over the phone. "Look, ask your sons. Ace and Luffy know... Especially Ace. I'm staying out for tonight, but I promise I'll talk to you and Mihawk soon."

There was a long pause, before Shanks actually spoke "Zoro, you're scarying me..."

Zoro huffed "Well, don't be scared."

"I'll cover for you with your father." Shanks sighed "Did... Well, does Sanji..."

Zoro rolled his eyes so hard that he nearly passed out "Ace and Sanji." he said dry "Now I gotta go."

"No shit..." Shanks breathed out, incredulous.

"Bye, Shanks." Zoro hung up and fought the urge to fling the phone at the bus that was just speeding by. He sucked in a deep breath and got to Franky's reply.

_'if u r home now ill come over'_

When he tapped send he realized he had received another message, he bit his lip, hoping it wasn't Nami as he checked the sender. It was Eustass's reply. Another relieved sigh was heaved.

_'shit... whoa this sucks im sorry. i mean i hope they find a substitute and... man what happened? something with the singer? i know the feeling dude. look, i know we arent big pals or anything but i live alone (with my idiot brother but still) u need a place to stay away from everyone u can come here. i'll make sure barto doesnt jump u, but i guess u can fend for urself'_

Zoro snorted. If anyone could understand how Zoro was feeling that was probably Kidd. Being in love with Trafalgar, who was pretty much just like Sanji probably caused him as much of a heartache as what Zoro had always been through. Well... Minus the part where Kidd and Law were actually together.

Zoro wasn't expecting such support from anyone, but he figured that when the Crows were all gathering at Franky's for rehearsals, Zoro could take up Eustass's offer. Bartolomeo would have been there, probably trying to finish that infamous discussion he had started back at the party, but Zoro didn't give a shit at that point.

_'well thanks. yeah, i guess i'll tell u at some point just not rn. but i'll take ur offer and when my band will rehearse at franky's ill definitely swing by ur house.'_

Zoro answered quickly, since Franky had replied to him.

_'i just put more beers into the fridge'_

Zoro grinned, threw the now ice cold coffee into the nearest trash bin and started in the direction of Franky's house.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Zoro was used to walking everywhere, a bit because it was part of his daily training, and mainly because he wasn't allowed to drive, so even if Franky's house was at a good fourty minutes away from where he was, he wasn't actually bothered. He still had his music playing in his ears, even if he had to skip a few too many songs for plausible reasons, and even if he took a couple of wrong turns that were probably going to take him double the time to get to Franky's.

Zoro still ignored the Crows conversation, though he knew his friends were all still probably trying to get more answers from him, or attempting to get him to reason and not leave the band so suddenly in the middle of tour. He knew he'd left them in a pool of crap, but he also trusted their ability to find a good last minute replacement for all the upcoming concerts.

Fifteen minutes had passed from when he had started walking, and his music was interrupted by a call. He checked the caller and stopped in his tracks once he'd realized that it was Nami who was calling him. Zoro had seen it coming, and even if he couldn't be bothered to answer her, he also knew that he definitely had to.

Zoro cleared his throat, swiped right on the screen of his phone and resumed his walking as soon as he answered the call.

"Nami..."

"Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us, please."

She wasn't exactly pleading, but she didn't even sound angry, she sounded... Broken, and Zoro didn't expect that.

"I'm sorry. I have to." Zoro sighed, his tongue poking past his lips and running across the bottom one.

"Sanji isn't talking to us, neither is Ace. And neither are you."

Zoro huffed, shaking his head "Typical." he nibbled on his lower lip "Look, they fucked. Okay? And I can't deal with that. Not now. I'm just sorry the whole band has to suffer from this." he shrugged a shoulder.

There was a long silence from the other end of the phone, and Zoro furrowed his eyebrows as he legitimately thought the line had died or something.

"Hello?" Zoro asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I can't fucking believe this."

"You tell me."

"Zoro I... I'm sorry, I–" Nami stammered. One of the rarest things that could happen.

"I know." Zoro mumbled, feeling kind of awkward. He wasn't so keen on sharing his feelings, and doing it with Nami seemed just... Too odd. They were really good friends, but being sentimental wasn't really their thing.

"I mean, Sanji... I could understand why he did it, but Ace! I can't believe he did it!"

Zoro's eyes fell shut for a moment. He really didn't need to re-live that all over again, he perfectly knew how fucked up it was. "I don't wanna talk about this, right now."

"I'll fuck him up." Nami snarled from the other end of the phone, and Zoro forced himself not to just drop his cell.

"No, you won't. Stay out of this." Zoro shook his head, then cursed himself mentally when he realized he had got the wrong way again.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me! It's all his and Sanji's fault if we lost our precious drummer! Our fucking friend!" Nami growled out loud.

Zoro bit his lower lip. After all, knowing that people actually cared about him was nice.

"You'll be fine. You'll find someone else." Zoro nodded reassuringly, even though Nami couldn't see it.

"We want our drummer! Not a replacement! Zoro you're the soul of the band, you cannot just leave!"

Zoro knew that Nami was probably thinking that she was being helpful, or that she could somehow make him feel better that way, but her words were actually having the complete opposite effect.

"I don't have a choice, alright? This isn't easy for me, but it's all I can do right now. Understand this, please." Zoro cut her off abruptly, and probably even too aggressively.

"No..." Nami took a long breath, probably a way to recover from Zoro's hit "No, you're right. Sorry, man."

"It's okay." Zoro sighed, for the umpteenth time.

"Hey, don't wander around too much, okay? Be safe."

"Shut up." Zoro muttered.

"Don't disappear."

"I'll try."

"Zoro!"

"Bye, Nami."

"Bye..."

As soon as the call ended, the music started playing again from where it had stopped, and Zoro quickly pushed the phone back inside his pocket as if it had burnt him. He knew he probably wasn't done talking about all that absurd shit, but he trusted Franky to make it less painful for him.

He had felt the phone vibrate in his hand during his call with Nami, they had probably been more texts, maybe Eustass had answered him but he needed to focus on getting to Franky's place before he'd completely lose it. Zoro knew everyone wanted to speak about what had happened, that some wanted to say how sorry they were for him, but he had never asked for pity, nor he could spend hours on end talking about something that hurt him. He'd rather become a hermit and stop speaking for good, than having to go through all that.

Zoro managed to turn the last part of his long walk towards Franky's house into a small meditation session. Of course it hadn't been a proper one, since he couldn't really close his eyes and completely shut out the rest of the world, but he had managed to completely empty his head and only focus on the music in his ears. Not even the lyrics made any sense in that state, he could only hear the melodies, as if he was listening to a bunch of instrumental tracks. For some minutes he had finally found some peace and quiet, and even if he knew that he was probably going to have to start speaking about Ace and Sanji again, at least he had rebooted his system for a little while.

He gave himself a few moments to get settled, when he climbed up the couple stairs of Franky's front porch, taking a deep breath and messily stuffing his headphones into an inner pocket of his coat. His fingers brushed against the small bottle of whiskey he had completely forgotten to have bought, so he decided to pretend it had been a present for Franky. Zoro fished out the bottle, then rang the doorbell.

Franky opened the door so fast that Zoro thought he had been sitting by it all the time, he grinned at Zoro and then, upon seeing the small bottle in the drummer's hand, barked out a laugh.

"Since when do you buy these ridiculous bottles?" Franky asked, still laughing.

Zoro rolled his eyes "Gimme a break, I bought booze I could smuggle into Starbucks to spike my coffee, like a fucking bum."

Franky's laugh died down, and a small smile curved his lips as he slowly shook his head "Get inside, bro. I've got the right amount of booze you need." he clapped a big hand on Zoro's shoulder, then stepped aside to let him in.

"Thanks. You're the person I'd choose if I wanted to commit suicide by drinking." Zoro's lips pulled into a hollow smirk as he walked into the house.

"You can handle alcohol far too much for that." Franky shrugged and shut the door behind Zoro "Gimme this soaked coat, I'll hang it in the shower."

Zoro cocked an eyebrow and gazed down at this coat, he had completely forgotten he had walked in the downpour. "Ah. Right," he shrugged off the coat and handed it to Franky "thank you."

Franky grabbed the coat and disappeared into the corridor, leaving Zoro to stand awkwardly in the living room. He looked over at the couch where he had slept with Bartolomeo and grimaced, crossing his arms over his chest. Zoro was starting to think that maybe staying in the house where all that mess happened wasn't exactly a brilliant idea.

"So," Franky started while he was walking towards Zoro with a six pack in one hand, and a bottle of rum in the other "We can start with these, and then I've got plenty of snacks if we get the munchies." he wriggled his eyebrows and jerked his chin towards the couch "C'mon, don't just stand there, bro."

Zoro glanced one more time towards the couch, set the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table, then opted to sit down on one of the armchairs, ignoring Franky's puzzled look.

"Okay..." Franky muttered, then placed the cans and the bottle down on the coffee table, next to the small whiskey bottle, then plopped down on the couch. "So... I bet you don't exactly wanna tell me what went on." he began, grabbing a can of beer and popping it open.

Zoro curled his lips and opted for the rum, uncapping it as he spoke "Not really."

Franky tilted his head to the side "Thought so." he took a swig of beer as he watched Zoro chugging from the bottle of rum "I gotta make a confession, bro."

Zoro arched an eyebrow and gulped the last swig of rum down before he lowered the bottle. He wasn't ready for other surprises, but he was curious nonetheless. "What now?" he asked in a defeated tone.

Franky raised his eyes and waved his arm "It's nothing too awful! But I think you have a right to know."

"Just say it, man." Zoro sighed with a shrug.

"I, uh..." Franky rubbed the back of his neck, and Zoro observed the way in which his numerous biomechanical tattoos flexed along with the muscles, it was nearly mesmerizing. "The night of the party... I saw Sanji and Ace sleeping in one of my guest rooms." he bit his bottom lip.

Zoro stared at him dumbfounded for a few moments, then blinked "You..." he scowled at Franky "You knew about them. Did you tell the others?"

Franky vigorously shook his head "No, bro. No way I'd do that. I'm not a super asshole."

Zoro reared back against the armchair, staring down at his own lap as he processed everything. He couldn't even tell if the thing bothered him or not, if it had been right for Franky to keep his mouth shut for all that time. Telling on Ace and Sanji probably wasn't the greatest idea, though, hearing directly from them had been the right way things were supposed to go.

"Are you mad at me?" Franky asked, once he didn't get any sort of reply or look from Zoro.

Zoro shook his head slowly "No, I..." he sighed, lifting his eyes back on Franky "Sorry you had to keep this, for all this time, I guess?"

Franky widened his eyes "You're sorry? Are you kidding me, Zoro?" he scoffed "I just had to keep my mouth shut, you got your feelings stomped all over! You're the–"

"One to be pitied?" Zoro cut him off with a huff of hollow laughter.

"The one who truly suffered." Franky corrected him with a severe expression "Not me."

Zoro lowered his gaze again, this time bashfully. It had been a long while since he and Franky spent some time together, just the two of them, but Zoro was glad he had decided to take up Franky's offer, now.

"Look at the positive part of this." Franky smirked softly at Zoro's glare "You don't have to tell me what happened," he shrugged "I already know." he took a big gulp of beer.

Zoro squinted, he hadn't thought about that, but apparently the thing did have its pros "True that."

Franky grinned and raised his can in cheers, to which Zoro responded by lifting the bottle of rum and giving a small smirk back, before they both knocked back a large swing of booze.

"I can't believe it fucking happened." Zoro croaked out.

Franky shifted in his seat, leaning forward to let Zoro know that he was listening "I know, bro. I wasn't expecting that either."

"I just can't wrap my head around Ace doing it!" Zoro spat out the words "He always told me he'd never do that to me!"

"Do you think he'd do it, if alcohol hadn't been involved?" Franky dared asking.

Zoro scoffed "I've been drunk around Sanji plenty of times, yet I've never fucked him. Because I knew it wasn't right! I didn't wanna fuck Sanji while he barely knew what was going on!" he nearly flung the bottle he was holding, as he flailed his hands too much. He settled back and went on, calmer "I don't care about just fucking him, it's not what I want." he muttered, then swigged at the rum.

Franky shook his head "Sanji has no idea how much you love him, nor how much a person like you would do good to him."

Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I don't wanna be a therapy, I wanna be the one he loves. I won't tell him that he should be with me 'cause I'm a nice person, fuck that."

"I know that." Franky smirked, and put down the empty can of beer "It's kinda what I meant." he grabbed another can and popped it open "You should come clean, make him understand."

Zoro snorted "Fuck that, too. I'd lose him."

Franky furrowed his eyebrows "Haven't you, already?"

Zoro's jaw slacked slightly, but no sound came out of his mouth. He had sort of realized that he and Sanji were pretty much over, but hearing it from someone else made it feel so real that Zoro didn't know what to do, and that chest ache came back, stronger than ever.

"I'm sorry, bro. That was super stupid of me." Franky shook his head and covered his mouth, clearly regretting what he had just said.

Zoro stared at him, still unable to say anything. Franky was right, he had nothing to lose by that point, but that was something Zoro had never taken into account. There was a part of him that still hoped for things to magically sort out, but he knew it was impossible.

Zoro couldn't stand things going back the exact way they were before, not to mention worse, because he'd have to live with the knowledge that Sanji and Ace had slept together. It would have been pointless, there was nothing that could glue back the pieces the way they used to be, any kind of change was inevitable, whether it meant losing Sanji completely or not. Zoro still felt like he'd lost him, already.

"You still with me, bro?" Franky called out with furrowed eyebrows.

Zoro nodded and took a sip of rum right away before he could speak again "I don't think I could do it."

Franky sighed "Look, I know he doesn't technically need to know that you're head over heels for him, but I think he needs to know exactly why you're so incredibly hurt."

Zoro scowled at him "Isn't betrayal enough?"

"Well, I don't think he fully understands your reaction." Franky shrugged.

Zoro looked down at the bottle and started picking at the label "He probably thinks I dramatically overreacted, but... It's 'cause he basically never really cared about anyone but himself."

"Zoro..." Franky breathed out, and when Zoro looked back up at him he saw him shaking his head "I'm pretty damn sure that you're the only one he actually gives a shit about."

Zoro pursed his lips and shrugged "Well, I can't do that now. I couldn't deal with any kind of reaction he might have."

Franky nodded "I get that, bro." he took a sip of beer from his can "Just don't wait too long, okay?"

Zoro took a sip of rum, and purposely didn't answer. He didn't like the turn that the conversation had taken, he wasn't there to listen to Franky trying to justify Sanji or whatever he was trying to do, he was there because he needed a safe place to be.

"So, you and Robin..." Zoro left the sentence hanging and gazed back at Franky. That was the best way he could stir the conversation into, he couldn't fail. Franky's cheeks quickly painted red, and Zoro quite relished the discomfort he had pushed his friend into.

"Uh, we–" Franky cleared his throat, shrugged and let out a nervous chuckle. "I... She..."

Zoro smirked "You're in huge troubles, aren't you?" he pointed the neck of the bottle at Franky, as he spoke.

"I know maybe it's too soon to say this, but..." Franky smiled down at the can of beer he had lightly crushed in his huge hand "I think I love her."

Zoro scoffed "No shit, Sherlock."

Even though he was thoroughly damaged in that moment, Zoro genuinely cared about his friend, and was happy to see him so excited over his new love interest. Actually, Zoro had never seen Franky looking like that because of someone.

"I mean I know we haven't seen each other much, yet... But I feel like there's a connection, y'know?" Franky explained, with an extremely serious expression.

"Have you asked her out for dinner or something, yet?" Zoro asked as he put the bottle of rum down and stood up to get shot glasses. His head spun slightly as he got up from his seat, and he smirked softly to himself, taking pleasure in finally feeling tipsy.

"Not yet, but I plan on asking her, soon."

"You do that." Zoro grabbed six shots glasses and placed them on the coffee table, where he planned on serving whiskey and vodka shots for both he and Franky. "She seems great, don't let her slip through your fingers." Zoro was definitely talking to himself, too. He sat down and began to fill the glasses.

"Hopefully she'll have me." Franky sniggered softly, as he watched vodka pouring into the shots.

"I'm sure she will." Zoro raised his eyebrows, but didn't look into Franky's eyes. He did believe that he had a shot with Robin, but all that talk was starting to make him feel worse.

"You know what we should do?" Franky suddenly asked.

Zoro's eyebrow raised and he perked up at the question "What?"

"Order pizza, and watch a movie." Franky nodded before knocking back a shot of vodka.

Zoro blinked in confusion a few times, at the swift change of subject. Franky had definitely sensed that talking about Robin wasn't exactly doing Zoro any good, so he had promptly started talking about something else. That big guy probably had no idea of how much of a great friend he was, but Zoro suddenly felt extremely blessed to have him.

"Sounds perfect." Zoro smirked and took a shot of vodka himself.

"You're sleeping here, right?"

"Of course, why the fuck would I wanna go home?" Zoro replied with a snort, before chugging the second shot.

"Alright, alright." Franky smirked and downed his second shot.

"Just don't let me sleep on the same bed as Ace and Sanji." Zoro added in a hollow tone, and Franky choked on his liquor.

 

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

  
On an empty stomach, Zoro began to be heavily affected by the alcohol in his system, so much that he couldn't even stand from the armchair he was buried in and wouldn't stop laughing when Franky spoke to him. He had also insisted that he should have taken a shower to feel better, but Franky forbade him to do so, because he didn't want him to drown in his tub or break his neck.

After a small quarrel, Franky managed to get Zoro to put something solid in his stomach to weaken the intoxication, so that he could take a shower and then wait with Franky for the pizzas to be delivered.

Nearly a bag of cookies later, Zoro was back to a lightly tipsy state that allowed him to finally take his much needed shower without accidentally killing himself. Once he found himself in the bathroom he decided to indulge in a warm bath, so that he could relax and maybe sweat off the rest of the booze that still ran through his system.

He filled the tub and sat on the closed toilet to take off his clothes (just to be safe, he told himself, he could definitely stand still) as he waited, when his completely forgotten cellphone slipped off the pocket of his pants, ending up on the floor. Zoro scowled down at the object, as if it was the first time he'd ever seen it, then watched as Luffy's grinning face appeared on the screen and the phone vibrated angrily on the tiles.

"Shit..." Zoro sighed and shut his eyes, hanging his head as he started to remember things he had purposely shut out of his mind. He should have answered, just to let his little brother know he was fine, but he definitely wasn't going to give in to any requests for him to come home.

Zoro picked up the cell and swiped the green handset, taking in a deep breath before putting it by his ear.

"Luffy?" Zoro tentatively called out. He didn't really think that someone else would have used Luffy's phone, but you're never too careful.

"Hey, Zoro... I tried calling you like four times! Are you alright?" Luffy's voice didn't give out any vibe of worry, but that was just how the boy was, Zoro knew it.

"I'm sorry, I had my phone set on silent so..." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, then stood up to turn off the water and step into the tub "I'm fine, though." he sat down and laid back, sinking further into the hot water.

There was a long, drawn out sigh coming from the other end of the phone, then Luffy spoke again.

"Where are you now? Are you coming home?"

"I'll tell you where I am, only if you don't come look for me, alright?" Zoro asked, raising a sharp eyebrow.

"Yeah, don't worry... I just wanna know where you are."

"I'm at Franky's. I'm staying here for a while." Zoro confessed, shifting his limbs lazily into the warm water.

"Oh... Okay." there was a small pause, and Zoro hoped he wasn't trying to let other people hear their conversation "What, uh– what do I tell Mihawk and Shanks?"

"The truth." Zoro said boldly. He wasn't going to explain himself to their parents for something he hadn't done. "Ace and I argued and I don't wanna see him for a while."

"Ace isn't here..." Luffy's answer came promptly, even before Zoro could finish his own sentence.

Zoro's eyebrows knitted together "What?"

"Yeah he's..." Luffy's voice trembled slightly, it was hesitation, as if he didn't really want to say everything.

"Did he make you promise not to tell where he went off to?"

"Yeah..."

Zoro sighed "Alright then... If you don't tell him where I am, don't tell me where he is."

"I'll speak to Shanks and Mihawk." Luffy said in a small voice, and Zoro's heart shrunk slightly.

The last thing he had wanted was to drag Luffy in the middle of this fight. He knew that he wasn't going to take sides, and he wasn't going to ask him to pick one, but he seriously felt sorry for his little brother, he didn't want to hurt him.

"Hey, I'll hang out with you, okay?" Zoro tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I gotta go, now. Shanks's shouting from the kitchen." Luffy tried to snigger softly.

"Sure, go ahead." Zoro smiled softly, even though Luffy couldn't see it. "Tell them I said hi."

"I will. Goodnight, Zoro."

"Night, Luffy."

Zoro stretched towards the laundry basket and dropped the phone on top of the lid, then sunk completely into the water. Zoro didn't want to jump to conclusions, especially because he should have just relaxed in the tub and not think about the whole mess that his life currently was, but his mind had already began to wander, trying to hypotize where Ace could have gone off to.

Sanji's place was the easiest, quickest thought, and it made his blood boil right away. There was a part of Zoro that still thought about them secretely having an affair or whatever, but there was another part who remembered perfectly that Sanji had fucked Ace purposely to hurt Zoro's feelings, and not because he was in love with Ace. Still there was another small part of Zoro that remembered about Sanji singing I Come With Knives, shouting at the top of his lungs about love and how much it hurt.

Everything was so confusing, so messed up that Zoro could feel his brain steam inside his skull, and all he wanted to do was drown into that very tub... But at the same time he didn't want to die, certainly he didn't want to leave his corpse at Franky's, but generally Zoro really wasn't a person who would do such things, he only wanted his brain to stop over analyzing every single thing, and it seemed like he couldn't find the switch to turn it off for a while.

Meditation. Meditation was the only thing that could save him in that moment, so he resurfaced from the water and found a comfortable position so that he could close his eyes and try to drain every thought out of his tired mind.

One day he was probably going to have to thank Mihawk for being the strict teacher that he had always been, because only thanks to his training Zoro had finally managed to take back his calm and composure, emptying his mind as he gave in to meditation. He didn't know for how long he had sat in that bathtub, but when he snapped back to reality the water was cold and Franky was banging on the door and calling out for him.

"Zoro! Are you alright?!"

Zoro shook his head and scrubbed a wet hand down his now dry face, it took him a short while to readjust to reality, but he eventually answered to Franky.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Sorry! I was... I fell asleep." it wasn't entirely a lie, but it was the short version of what had actually happened.

"Oh, alright! I thought I had to bust down the door!" Franky laughed in relief "Pizza is here, get out before it gets cold!"

"Yeah, I'll be only a minute!" Zoro sighed and quickly washed, since up until that moment he had done nothing but soak.

No matter how well trained he could have been, Zoro wasn't a machine, and even though he tried not to feel a thing it was impossible. He just needed to realize that he couldn't just deny himself to live his grief forever, it was his right to experience and let it all out.

 

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

  
There was a vague memory and fuzzy images floating in Sanji's mind. He didn't remember much besides customers being vocal about a young man passing out by the entrance of the restaurant, then he remembered Patty's and Carne's voices calling out for him, but other than that he had no idea about what had happened.

When he blinked his eyes open, he couldn't quite make out right away his surroundings, but soon enough he realized he was in his own room, lying in his own bed. He wasn't even tucked in, the covers had been pulled down and the t-shirt he was sleeping in was soaked in sweat.

"You sweated it almost all off, Eggplant."

Sanji's head perked in the direction where the voice was coming from, only to find Zeff sitting by his bed and reading from an old book that told tales of the sea. A book he had read many times to Sanji before going to sleep as a kid.

"How are you feeling?" Zeff asked, looking at his son from above his glasses.

Sanji scrubbed a hand down his face "Like shit." he croaked and shifted into a more comfortable sitting position.

"You didn't even wake up when the doctor examined you." Zeff took off his reading glasses and shut the book.

Sanji's eyes widened underneath his furrowed eyebrows "You called a doctor?!" he asked, almost outraged.

"You fucking passed out on the threshold of our restaurant, you could have been dying for all we knew." Zeff replied in a stern tone, but the concern in his expression betrayed him.

"You're such a drama queen, dad." Sanji rolled his eyes, even though it made his head hurt. Then bit his lower lip when he realized how he'd called his father, Zeff was looking just as shocked as he felt, but didn't say anything about it.

"I'd just like to know what the fuck got into you," Zeff started, fidgeting with the glasses in his hands "going out in this cold, rainy weather with a fever. You're the stupidest fucking Eggplant on this planet." he shook his head, then looked back at Sanji "Doctor said you're lucky you didn't catch pneumonia or something."

Sanji let out a drawn out sigh and ran his fingers through his still slightly damp hair. He hadn't really cared about his health, all he had cared about was settling things with Zoro, but even if he had risked to get seriously sick he had achieved nothing. He couldn't even manage to keep a friend, his best friend, and the person he loved the most.

Everything came back to him so suddenly that he couldn't even breathe, his chest aching and throat knotting up as tears tried to spill down his cheeks. But Sanji didn't want to cry in front of Zeff, he had already cried in front of Zoro, he'd rather die than show how weak he was feeling.

"Sanji... You alright?" Zeff asked, concerned.

"J-just fuck off!" Sanji growled out, in a strangled voice "Leave me alone!"

Zeff glared at his son and shook his head "You always gotta be a little shit, you cannot be nicer, can you?"

Those words triggered such rage inside of Sanji that if he wasn't feeling boneless he would have probably physically attacked his father.

"That's fucking rich coming from someone who never has a nice fucking word for his son!" Sanji shouted "I learned from the best!"

Zeff stood up so suddenly that he knocked over the chair he had been sitting on "You shitty Eggplant!" he couldn't really say anything more, and it was probably because Sanji had hit a nerve, so he just stormed out of the room, slamming the door.

Sanji broke down the moment his father left the room. He let out all the anger, the pain and the frustration, through the tears that he finally allowed to flow. Zeff had been the last straw, the one that completely broke Sanji.

He spent probably the next hour crying as he lied in his bed. His head hurt, his eyes burned and every single bone in his body ached. He didn't know if the fever had gone back up, crying for all that time made him feel exactly as if he was running a temperature, and a crazy one.

Sanji caught a glimpse of his phone, sitting on the nightstand, and since there was a small LED blinking he knew that someone had tried to contact him. Terror suddenly crept up to him, at the thought that Zoro might have told everyone about what had happened – things were only going to get worse, from that moment on, he knew it.

He knew what he would have found in the messages: anger, frustration, hate, probably despair, too. Sanji was kind of ready, but at the same time he didn't feel like reading them at all. He thought he had already paid enough for a day, but he also knew that he probably should have checked for any decisions that had to be made for the band. He was still one of the founders, after all, so he had responsibility.

When Sanji unlocked the phone screen he had about two hundred messages, and they were all on the Crows convo. No one had tried to reach him privately, and he didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. Still, before he actually got the chance to open the group chat, a beautiful photo of Nami appeared on his screen as she called him.

That was kind of unexpected, and as much as Sanji would have wanted Nami to be sweet and gentle with him, he knew that she probably wanted to tear him apart piece by piece. Hadn't it been Nami, or really a lady in general, Sanji would have refused the call, but he really couldn't do that, even though his physical and mental state was utter crap.

"Mademoiselle, good–" Sanji hesitated, completely oblivious to what actual time it was. He had no idea for how long he'd been out and he hadn't really thought about checking the time, and the blinds were all rolled down because of the rain. "Good evening!" he tried, and hopefully he wouldn't have made a complete fool of himself, even though his voice sounded terrible. "How are you, light of my life?" he grimaced at his own words, but they were out and he couldn't really take them back.

"Sanji, what the fuck happened to your voice?!"

Nami's reaction seriously scared Sanji, he had no idea of how bad it could have actually sounded, and she sounded more shocked than he thought she could be.

"I-I..." Sanji couldn't even form a proper answer, that Nami was speaking over him again.

"You didn't get sick, did you?"

"Aw, are you worried about me, sweet, sweet Nami?" Sanji smirked slightly. By that point he didn't even know anymore if he believed it, if he could really convince himself that there was still a chance that girls would like him. Actually, he didn't know if anyone at all could really like him.

"Of course. And I'm worried about the damn tour, how could you neglect your health like this? We need your voice!"

Sanji knew that Nami was probably more concerned about him losing his voice than anything else, but it was still a nice thing to hear in a moment like that. Yet he really couldn't see how they could continue the tour without Zoro, it was impossible without their drummer.

"My voice will be fine..." he sighed, leaving the sentence hanging. He didn't know whether he should say more or not, because one thing he was sure of is that he was going to be blamed for what had happened, and that wasn't something he particularly looked forward to. Not after the awful day he'd had.

"Look, I know you won't read the group chat, so I wanted to make sure you'd know about the meeting we're having tomorrow at Franky's." Nami went on, her tone wasn't as detached as Sanji thought it could be, but he knew nothing nice was in store for him.

"Tomorrow?" Sanji rubbed at his tired, aching eyes. He wasn't ready to face them, even thought he knew that in two days they were going to play somewhere else.

"It's really important, you have to come even if you're sick."

"Of course I'll be there," Sanji nodded to the emptiness of his room "I could never let you down, Nami."

"We'll see about that."

Sanji sighed but didn't say a word, he was too tired for this kind of things.

"We're meeting at Franky's at 5pm, alright? See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya." Sanji wasn't even sure Nami had heard him, because he was pretty sure she had ended the call while he was still speaking.

Sanji dropped the phone on the mattress, not caring at all that it slid right off of it, falling to the floor. He sunk back inside the cocoon of blankets and comforters, up to his head, not even leaving a hair out as he tried to hide away completely.

He knew it was bound to happen, he knew that sooner than later he was going to have to face and confront his friends, but he'd rather climb under a rock and never come out. He wasn't even afraid of judgement, because he was perfectly aware of the hate he was going to receive, yet he was probably never going to be really ready for it.

Sanji considered the option of sleeping the rest of that day off, it was the only way not to think and to anesthetize his wounds. Yes, it was the best thing to do, even though he dreaded tomorrow.

 

  
  


* * *

 

 

  
Sanji had managed to wake up at a decent hour, the morning after, even if the night before he had woken up a few times to eat some left overs that Zeff had brought him from the restaurant, and to take some medicine.

He felt better, not perfect, but at least he wasn't feeling like he could die at any given moment, still he decided it would have been better to take it easy until that evening. A shower was much needed, and after that a nutritious breakfast to recover his health as fast as possible.

Sanji walked into the bathroom, still unsure on whether he should take a shower or a bath, mainly debating if he should just sit down in the tub in case he felt weak or ill. He stripped off his pajamas and underwear, and filled up the tub, just in case, while he sat on the lip and watched the water spill and flow from the faucet.

His mind began to wander, he couldn't help it, and a sense of anguish mauled his guts as he thought about how that was going to be his first day without Zoro. Of course he knew the two didn't actually spend their days together, just like they could go a day without texting each other at all, but Zoro was a security, Sanji knew he could turn to him whenever, even if he just felt like bothering someone.

He wanted to be angry, he wanted to hate Zoro for bailing on him, for reacting like an imbecile to what had happened. Sanji still couldn't believe how badly he had reacted, he never thought Zoro would have really decided to end their friendship over something like that.

He kept replaying the entire conversation he had with Zoro the day before, still finding everything absurd – Sanji shook his head trying to wipe off all those thoughts. He dipped into the tub, relaxing in the warm water, but dared not to shut his eyes, he already could recall too many horrible images while keeping them open. Sanji was even trying not to think about the meeting he was going to attend later that day, he could only imagine the trial he was going to be put through. Drowning would have been much less painful.

There was a knock on the door that made him jump slightly in the water, bringing him back to reality and tearing him away from hurtful thoughts. He scrubbed a wet hand down his face and answered, even though he perfectly knew who it was.

"Yeah?" Sanji called out.

"It's me," Zeff's voice replied "are you alright?"

Sanji let out a drawn out sigh. Now he was recalling his conversation with Zeff from the previous night and was feeling bad for the turn it had taken. Zeff wasn't a bad person, life had been extremely though with him, but Sanji had been just as screwed by life and he had grown up to have his father's same personality, thing that made them clash way too often.

"Yeah, better." Sanji replied, wrapping his arms around his knees and looking down at the lazy movements of the water.

"Good." there was a small pause, and Sanji pictured him heaving a sigh or sucking in a big breath. "I made you breakfast."

Sanji furrowed his eyebrows, not expecting his father to do that, especially since he hadn't even realized that he was actually home.

"Oh... Thanks."

"Yeah."

Silence. Had Zeff gone? Or was he still standing behind the door, trying to find the right words to use with his reckless son?

Sanji heaved out a breath and relaxed back, closing his eyes as he rested his head against the lip of the tub. He was somehow glad that he didn't have to make himself breakfast, his legs and arms were still feeling kind of weak, just like there was still a soreness in his back that didn't want to leave him in peace.

Sanji spent some more minutes lazying inside the tub, the warm water had probably sucked away some extra energy from him, but it had felt too good for Sanji to care. He dried off and put on a fresh pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, shrugging on a sweater that he was going to use only to move around the house, then finally went to the kitchen.

Zeff was standing by the counter, sipping on a mug of steaming coffee as he read the morning paper, the exact scene you'd find in a movie. Sanji sighed, and went to take a seat by the table, his hair was still kind of wet and a few droplets dripped down his shoulders. Zeff lifted his eyes from the paper, frowning at the sight of his son sitting down to have breakfast.

"I thought this was for me?" Sanji asked with a cocked eyebrow, confused by his father's glare.

"Why didn't you dry your hair properly?" Zeff asked "Do I really need to remind you that you fucking passed out for a high fever?"

Sanji widened his eyes in bewilderment, underneath furrowed eyebrows. Alright, his father was worried for him, he got it, but it was starting to feel weirder than it should have been, he wasn't used to all that concern.

"Jeez, fine! I'll blow it dry later!" Sanji scoffed and pulled up the hood of his sweater, just to shut Zeff up, then finally dug into his breakfast.

Sanji kept quiet throughout the meal, and even though he pretended like he didn't notice, Zeff kept peeking at him from over his paper as if he was scared to see him fall off the chair or face first into his bowl of sliced bananas with yogurt. Another thing Sanji pretended to do was not care about the attentions he was getting from his father, when really he was absolutely pleased by it.

"Are you gonna nurse me all day long, or are you planning on going to the restaurant, at some point?" Sanji teased, sipping on his hot tea.

Zeff rolled up his paper and swatted it on Sanji's head "I'll stay with my son as much as I want to, I've got employees for a reason."

Sanji growled lowly and slapped the paper away "Yeah, employees that won't hesitate to set fire to the damn kitchen."

"They know I'll eviscerate them if they dare." Zeff shrugged and poured himself some more coffee.

Sanji smirked, not saying anything in return and just drinking his tea. It was quite refreshing and relaxing to spend some time that way, with his father, he couldn't really recall doing something like that in ages. The older man took a seat across from his son, glasses perched up on his Roman nose, pen and notebook in hand. He silently started to go through the pages, making corrections, crossing out things and adding others, and went on like that for some minutes.

"So..." Zeff started suddenly, not looking up at his son as he scribbled on his notebook.

Sanji perked up, a questioning look on his face "Huh?"

"Did you argue with Zoro? Is that why you left the house with a fever?"

Sanji nearly threw the mug at his father "Listen, shitty old geezer..." he snarled.

"It's always about him, when you do this reckless kinda shit." Zeff looked up at Sanji, unfazed by the murderous look he had been shot with.

"We were having a nice, quiet time..." Sanji kept growling.

Zeff nodded "Alright, it's him." he pursed his lips and went back to his notebook, pushing his reading glasses a bit back up on the bridge of his nose.

Sanji threw his head back with a loud groan. Why did Zeff always have to act like he and Zoro were dating, or worse, were some kind of a married couple? They weren't. They were best friends, bandmates, co-founders of Murder Of Crows, but not an item. They never were, they probably were never gonna be, and now that Zeff was making him think about it, the more it hurt in an excruciating way.

"He quit the fucking band." Sanji said suddenly, without giving it too much thought. He never vented to his father, he barely even vented to Zoro or their friends in general, but in that moment he needed to let at least part of his frustration out.

Zeff's hand stopped, he let out a small sigh and took off his glasses. His eyes squeezed shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose, and finally mustered up the energy to look at his son, with a wise, yet worried expression.

"What happened?" Zeff asked.

For once, Sanji didn't get asked 'what have you done', but 'what happened'. That question felt so good, and so unaccusing that Sanji nearly teared up.

"He had enough of me, apparently." Sanji briefly smiled a small, hollow smile "We got into the umpteenth fight, and he said he couldn't take it anymore."

Zeff scowled "Just like that?"

Sanji worried his lips between his teeth, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head "I made a mistake he wasn't willing to forgive."

"Ah." Zeff answered, smoothing down his goatee. He was probably trying to imagine what Sanji could have possibly done to get such a final reaction from Zoro.

"Am I so terrible to be around?" Sanji asked, quietly. He was almost feeling ashamed of posing such questions, but by that point he was just desperate.

Zeff snorted, a lopsided smirk stretching his lips "You're not exactly a delight," then he added "only when you really wanna act like an asshole."

Sanji rolled his eyes, but didn't have the time to reply because Zeff went on immediately.

"You push people to their limit, until they wanna kick your stupid skull in," Zeff paused to lean forward, a little closer to Sanji "the person to whom you do this the most is Zoro, probably because he's the one you care about the most."

Sanji chewed on his lower lip and looked down at the table. He was starting to regret asking for Zeff's advice, because he was telling him exactly how he acted.

"You do this because it's a natural defense of yours," Zeff continued "but maybe this time you hurt Zoro's feelings too much."

Sanji looked up at Zeff with an hurt expression "It's not as if I do that all the time, you're saying it like I do!"

Zeff raised his eyebrows "You do treat him like crap. More often than you think."

Sanji couldn't speak right away, because the truth had slapped him across the face "Y-you're never around when we're together! You can't know that!" he retorted like an offended child.

"I've been around you two plenty of times to know that." Zeff wore back his glasses and went back to his work "Do something, don't lose a valuable person over being stupid."

Sanji stared at his father in a mix of disbelief and outrage. Zeff had a way of lecturing people without letting them know he's doing so, and Sanji had just been confronted with a painful reality.

Zeff was probably right, Sanji had pushed Zoro away as much as he could for fear of getting too close, because his feelings were too big for him to deal with, because he was too scared of refusal, of being heartbroken, but by driving Zoro away he had been left with the same awful consequences.

Sanji stood up quietly and gathered all the empty mugs, plates and bowls from the table and brought them to the sink. He washed them slowly and in silence, pondering on his father's annoyingly wise words, until he was done and ready to retreat back to his room.

 

  
  


* * *

 

 

  
Sanji spent the rest of the day alone, watching the food channels and yelling at the TV every time he saw even the smallest kind of mistakes, and mentally prepared the same courses in what he thought was the actual best and correct of ways.

He needed to cook, it would have kept him busy both mentally and physically, so he decided to make himself an energizing soup that would have definitely helped him through the rest of the afternoon and evening.

Sanji sang angry songs and sad song while he chopped up vegetables and stewed meat, getting fired up and putting on a little show for no one to see. He smoked in the kitchen of the house, breaking one of Zeff's most severe rules, but he was going to open the window later, when he was going to get ready to go out.

The soup had been a proper success, it was so good he had to congratulate himself, and gloated all the while as he ate it. He had also made an extra bit that he carefully stored in the fridge, maybe even for Zeff to heat it up at dinner. Sanji wasn't exactly sure that he was going to have dinner with his friends, especially since they were most likely going to pillory him or something, but he was pretty sure that if he came back home for dinner he would have gone straight to bed.

The time to leave the house to meet his friends neared and Sanji started to feel panic surging from the pit of his stomach, running through his chest and choking him up. He didn't want to go, he wasn't ready for the agony, but at the same time he just wanted to quickly get it over, like ripping off a band-aid.

Sanji had no idea what was going to happen upon meeting Ace, maybe nothing, or maybe Ace was going to blame it completely on him, especially for putting his brother against him. He thought about Nami, and how much he had disappointed her, he thought about sweet Vivi, who had always been so kind and friendly with him, and thought about how angry she could have been because he had hurt her lovely girlfriend. Usopp and Franky might have probably been the less hostile of the bunch, though they were both very fond of Zoro. Sanji wondered if Brook was going to be there too, he was the oldest of them, and he had certainly experienced so many things in life that he could have spared him from any kind of hatred. The one he dreaded the most though, was Luffy. Luffy who loved all of his friends equally, but had the greatest bond with his brothers, and clearly had a soft spot for Zoro. Luffy could have probably been the most ferocious of the bunch, and Sanji was genuinely worried.

He tried to shake all those thoughts away, he was going to cross that bridge when he got to it, there was no use to rack his brains beforehand. That nasty feeling inside his stomach was something he couldn't easily get rid of, but he could certainly try and stay calm until he was going to be at Franky's.

Sanji got ready, smearing on just a bit of eyeliner on his eyes and wearing something comfortable, he couldn't really bother to put on more makeup, nor pulling on tight clothes that could have suffocated him – he could easily choke on his own.

He decided to get there by car, it wasn't a huge distance, but he didn't feel like he should have walked in the cold again. Even if he hadn't completely recovered, he thought he could drive, he was going to be extremely careful and pull over if he wasn't going to feel good, but there was simply no way he would go by foot.

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

  
The drive was a short one, but he took his time, blasting music and singing all the lyrics to keep his head from straying too far, and driving slower than usual just to be careful. It felt like he'd been in his car for a year, but when he arrived in front of Franky's house he just wanted to turn the car around and go back home.

He stopped a few feet away from the house and literally glared at it from a distance. Sanji drummed the fingers of his right hand on the steering wheel and bit the nails of the left one, nervousness thrumming through him like poison. For a moment he seriously thought about going back home and tell everyone that he had been feeling too sick to join them, but a knock on the car window made him jump so hard that he accidentally honked the horn.

When he glowered outside the window he found Usopp with a guilty expression painted all over his features. Sanji rolled his eyes and shook his head – he had nowhere to go, now, Usopp had busted him and had also scared the living shit out of him. Sanji sighed and climbed out of his car, still glaring at Usopp.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" Usopp apologized, clearly mortified.

"Yeah..." Sanji scoffed, locking up his car with shaky hands. He had no idea if he was still trembling from the shock or the nervousness, so he decided that it was probably due to both things.

"How are you?" Usopp asked, and for a moment Sanji was actually convinced that his friend looked concerned.

Sanji shrugged "I had a really bad fever yesterday, I'm still recovering from it."

"Really?" Usopp scowled, surprised "Sucks, buddy. I'm sorry."

Sanji shrugged "How about you?" he asked back. He didn't want to sound rude, especially since Usopp was always nice to him, but he was really in an awful mood.

Usopp pursed his lips and nodded "Good, yeah."

Sanji knew he was probably itching to ask about what had happened to Zoro or something, but Sanji wasn't going to repeat himself a thousand times, so he jerked his chin in the direction of Franky's "We should go."

"Yeah, we should." Usopp agreed and started walking with him.

In an awkward silence, the boys reached the front porch and Sanji didn't even think about ringing the doorbell, leaving it to Usopp. Sanji lit himself a cigarette, his nerves tense as a violin string, every second that separated him from the people inside the house felt like a blessing, but an agony at the same time. The door cracked open, and a pair of eyes peeked at them before the door was swung completely open and Franky's big figure appeared on the threshold.

"Hey bros!" Franky greeted them with a grin, but even though he tried his hardest to appear normal, his tone of voice and his eyes betrayed him.

"Hi, Franky!" Usopp smiled at him, and everything looked so awkward and forced that Sanji wanted to vomit.

"Hey." Sanji muttered, smoke blowing through his nostrils. He didn't need to put up a show and didn't even want to.

"Come on in, the others are already here!" Franky jabbed a thumb behind his back, then stepped aside to let them in.

Sanji took a quick, deep drag, then flicked ashes on the floor of the front porch before entering the house after Usopp.

The house was unusually quiet, there was no chatting nor music in the background, just an haze of odd tension that made Sanji feel even worse. He wasn't expecting to find his friends partying or having fun, but that gloomy atmosphere was plainly ridiculous, did they really feel the need to be so incredibly dramatic?

Usopp quickly shrugged off his coat and hung it before walking over to the couches, where everyone was sitting, followed by Franky. Sanji listened to the choir of greetings towards Usopp, and was sure that he wasn't going to get the exact same treatment. He tightened his teeth around the filter of the cigarette and used both hands to calmly take off his coat and hang it on the spot next to what looked like Vivi's dark blue brocade coat. Sanji took a deep breath and finally went to meet the rest of the gang.

The motley crew was scattered about the living room, Vivi and Nami were sharing one of the armchairs, Brook was sitting on the other armchair by himself, sipping from a cup of tea, Luffy was sitting on the floor with his back resting against Usopp's legs – who had just sat down on the armrest of the couch – while his oldest brother took up the rest of the space of the couch by being sprawled on it. There were sounds of rummaging through the kitchen, which could only mean that Franky was probably getting more drinks and snacks.

Six pairs of eyes shot up when Sanji walked over, and the soft chattering died down all of a sudden. Usopp was trying to smile at him, Brook's expression was almost unreadable, while Nami and Vivi simply exchanged a meaningful look. Sanji nearly dreaded holding Luffy's gaze, so he left him for last. Ace didn't seem to be able to lock gazes with Sanji for too long, his left knee was bouncing up and down and the tension in his entire body irradiated distress. Finally, Sanji's eyes moved back down to Luffy and his scowl, it was just barely there but it looked deadlier than ever.

"Hello." Sanji said, saluting. He was almost expecting someone to throw a can of beer at him, or something. Luffy would have probably thrown the couch and coffee table at him, if he could.

"Are you feeling any better?" Nami asked, and Sanji knew that she was trying to sound more concerned than infuriated.

Sanji put on one of his best smiles, something that he was way too used to do. "Ah, my lovely Nami, I'm much better, thank you for asking!" he replied with an enthusiasm that didn't match how he actually felt.

"Alright, that's very good." Nami nodded, seemingly dropping the subject right away.

Sanji was kind of expecting that she wouldn't ask anything else, but it still upset him.

Usopp grabbed an ashtray from the coffee table and handed it to Sanji with a smile. The small gesture warmed Sanji's heart, at least someone was trying to show him that he cared, after all.

"Thank you." Sanji gave a small smile as he took the ashtray to flick ashes into it, then shot Ace a fugitive look, just long enough to catch him staring back at him.

"It's so odd to hear that," Brook started, creases forming on his forehead as he frowned "I think you've never felt sick since I've known you. This is probably the first time!"

Sanji pursed his lips and nodded "I'm not so fragile."

"Only when you're sober." Ace suddenly blurted out, it was probably supposed to be a whisper, but everyone heard him. All eyes wandered from Sanji to Ace, then back to Sanji, waiting for a reaction.

Sanji glowered at Ace, anger suddenly surging from the pit of his stomach, making his hands ball up into fists and his jaw clench. "I could say the same about you," he started, trying to keep his voice steady and not shout "you're very pliant after the right amount of booze."

Ace bolted up to his feet, ready to brawl "Fuck you!" he growled as he tried to launch himself at Sanji but was promptly held back by his little brother and Franky.

"Don't you even start, alright?!" Nami threatened them, rising from the armchair "You're both guilty, here!"

Those words triggered Sanji's fury, it was seriously the last straw. All the fear and anxiety were suddenly gone, replaced by his anger. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he barely could take it from Zoro, but he definitely wasn't going to take it from anyone else. They knew nothing, they had no idea about what Sanji and Zoro had shared, they had no right to speak, no right at all.

"What are we guilty of, huh?" Sanji snarled "Fucking at a party? Fucking while pissed drunk?" he laughed a hollow laugh and shook his head "Like you've never done it!" he nearly dropped the ashtray, or at least its content, by moving too vigorously.

Luffy shrugged, his expression still blank "I haven't."

Usopp snorted, but quickly stopped when Sanji's murderous glare encountered him. He pressed his lips together with eyes wide open and shook his head.

"I can't believe how cluelless you are!" Nami huffed, shaking her head "Do you play dumb on purpose, or are you really that stupid?" she asked, as blunt as she could be.

Sanji was taken aback, not expecting those words from Nami. He furrowed his eyebrows and blinked "What do you mean? What are you talking about?" those words didn't seem to actually fit in what was swimming through Sanji's head.

Nami rolled her eyes and shook her head "I can't believe it, I give up." she sat down, refusing to look at Sanji in the eye.

"What?" Sanji's eyes widened "Why?!" he scanned the room to see if everyone else was just as confused as he was, but everyone was giving him a sympathetic kind of look that was utterly unnerving. "What the fuck is this?" his cigarette lying forgotten into the ashtray, burning out.

"Look, Sanji," Vivi started, and Sanji's head whipped in her direction. She smiled at him, a lot calmer than her girlfriend "What Nami is trying to tell you is that, what happened between you and Ace is worse than you think." she spoke gently.

"Zoro loves you, alright?" Nami bursted, cutting Vivi off "He doesn't just love you, he's fucking in love with you! And you're the only one who still cannot see it!" she nearly yelled "You broke his heart!"

"Nami..." Vivi covered her eyes with a hand and shook her head for her girlfriend's lack of patience.

"I had to! It's pointless to dance around it like that!" Nami went on, then grabbed a can of beer and popped it open.

Sanji was paralyzed. He couldn't feel his legs and he was pretty sure he had stopped breathing at some point. Disbelief didn't even come close to describing how he felt, his jack was slacked and he still hadn't blinked. Luffy was staring at him so intensely that Sanji could feel his eyes burning his skin, Ace was staring at the floor and the others, except Nami, were all nervously looking anywhere but at him.

"This isn't funny, Nami." Sanji started, his voice slightly broken "I don't appreciate this kind of jokes, not even from you."

"It's not a joke!" Nami assured, exasperated "Why do you think Zoro would quit the band, if this was a joke?"

Sanji shook his head, slowly "No, this–"

Usopp stood up "Sit down, Sanji. C'mon..." he said softly, taking a couple steps in his direction.

"No, I don't wanna." Sanji shook his head, bent over to place the ashtray back on the coffee table, then quickly went to lock himself into the bathroom, leaving everyone behind. He couldn't stay in the same room as them.

It all felt like a joke, and a cruel one for the matter. They couldn't be serious, there was simply no way that what they were saying had even the slightest part of truth. He would have definitely known it if Zoro actually felt something for Sanji that went beyond the simple love of a friend... Or wouldn't he?

Well, after all those years, Zoro had had plenty of opportunities to show his love, yet he didn't do anything. Not to mention all the recent occasions in which Sanji had made a move towards him and Zoro had just pushed him away – that definitely spoke volumes to Sanji, the message had arrived loud and clear, Zoro didn't want Sanji.

No, that couldn't be real, it simply couldn't.

Sanji held fast onto the sink, breathing heavily as he stared at his own reflection into the mirror. He looked like death, and he also pretty much felt like it. He opened the faucet to wash his face, to hell with what little eyeliner he was wearing. Sanji felt like he was burning up, his face was scorching hot but he couldn't tell whether it was really the fever or not.

He kept splashing and splashing water on his face, almost as if he wanted to wash away the words he had heard, almost as if he wanted to wash himself away. If they wanted to make fun of him, that was okay, but coming up with a lie that big and awful was just horrible. He knew he probably deserved horrible, but that crossed all the lines.

Sanji blindly reached for the first towel he could find on the rack, his hands barely noticed its slightly damp state, but when he brought it to his face, sinking his nose into the fabric, he pulled back right away almost as if it had burnt him. It smelled like Zoro. That couldn't possibly be, but Sanji had been around the brute long enough to recognize his scent and the impossibly minty deodorant he used. He let the towel fall to the floor and glared down at it as if it had threatened his life. Sanji shut his eyes and began to take in several deep breaths in the attempt of soothing himself, because he was starting to think that his sanity was slithering away.

He sat on the lip of the bathtub, head in hands, fingertips digging into his skull as he rested his elbows on of his knees, he stared down at the small mat that laid by the sink. It was in that very moment that Sanji actually realized that his armor had shattered completely, he had no more defenses and his skin was covered in new fresh wounds that burnt and stung like mad.

He had no idea about what scared him the most, Zoro sharing his feelings or Zoro not giving a fuck about him. Of one thing he was way too sure, though: that not having Zoro at all was destroying him. If what the others had told him was true, then Sanji could perfectly find a meaning to every single one of Zoro's odd behaviors (well, those weirder than normal) and it also made him realize how much sleeping with Ace had hurt Zoro.

But then again, how could that be true? How could someone love Sanji? He was barely human, anymore. He was only a shell of who he used to be, nowadays, ugly on the inside and completely unlovable and incapable of treating people right. Zoro deserved so much better, but at the same time Sanji didn't want anyone else to have him, because he was Sanji's whole world.

Fuck... Why did he have to love him so much?

There were a few knocks on the door that made Sanji nearly fall backwards into the tub, but he managed to steady himself, somehow.

"Sanji, are you alright?" Usopp's voice called out.

Sanji let out a sigh and didn't answer. He wanted to be alone, why was it so hard to understand?

"Stop being so kind to him, he got us all into this mess!" Nami's voice roared from a greater distance, and Sanji's heart dropped to his stomach. He had seriously turned everyone against him, how wonderful.

"He's a human being, Nami! Don't be so horrible to him!" Usopp failed to whisper back to the clearly furious girl.

"We are completely fucked, Usopp! Don't you–" Nami's voice was cut off. Sanji didn't know why but he had a feeling it had something to do with Vivi.

"Sanji, open the door please," Usopp said in a soft voice "I don't want you to come out, I'll get inside."

A faint smile pulled at Sanji's lips "Do you realize how dirty that sounds?" he joked, though he barely had the strength to do so.

Usopp sniggered softly "Please?"

Sanji sucked in a deep breath and stood up. He could deal with being around Usopp, after all he was trying to make him feel better, and he was probably the only one who cared about it. He took a couple steps towards the door and unlocked it, swinging it open to see Usopp's concerned smile.

"Hey..." Usopp's smile brightened a bit.

Sanji gestured for him to come inside the bathroom, and once Usopp did he shut the door again, making sure to lock it up.

"What a lovely place for a chat!" Usopp tried to joke with a small chuckle.

"Right?" Sanji smiled bitter, then moved to push down the toilet seat, so that he could sit down on it.

Usopp ran his fingers through his thick curls, he wasn't at ease, and Sanji hoped it wasn't because of his presence, but because the two of them weren't much used to heart to heart conversations.

"Look, I... Know you're devastated, and I know that what we told you probably made everything worse–" Usopp started, but Sanji promptly cut him off with a snort.

"Why? It doesn't make much difference. Especially 'cause I know you made that up." Sanji shrugged "And if you didn't, I don't really care." he lied through his teeth, his specialty.

Usopp's eyebrows furrowed, his full lips tightening as he tilted his head slightly to the side "I know you don't mean that."

Sanji looked away, his tongue piercing nervously grazing against each of his upper teeth.

"Zoro does love you, and I'm sure that deep down you know he really does." Usopp went on "What happened can't be undone, it hurt Zoro a great deal and now we're left with the conseq–"

"We?" Sanji shouted all of a sudden, his gaze piercing through Usopp's very soul "We?!" he repeated again "Zoro hates my fucking guts, he never wants to see me again and you dare saying we?!"

Well at least that talk was going to be therapeutic, as it was helping him let out his pent up anger, though he was lashing out on poor Usopp.

"Well, Zoro left the band, Sanji! You guys are missing a drummer during a very important period of your life as musicians!" Usopp retorted, not with the same volume of voice, but making Sanji understand that it was something that affected everyone.

Sanji lowered his head, staring down at the scraped leather on the tips of his boots. "All my life, I've done nothing but fuck up." he said in a soft voice. He didn't mean to say those things to Usopp, but he was the one who had the courage to come talk to him and Sanji really couldn't hold everything back any longer.

"Sanji..." Usopp frowned "That's not true."

Sanji shook his head "Don't say cliché things, Usopp, I know you all think the same about me. I am a fuck up."

Usopp took a step closer to Sanji and crouched down to his level "Hey, stop saying that, okay?" he tried to search for Sanji's gaze, but he kept avoiding Usopp's eyes "Nobody's perfect, and we all do fucking stupid things."

Sanji snorted and rolled his eyes "I constantly do fucking stupid things," he looked at Usopp "many times on purpose, too. Even if I regret them, afterwards."

Usopp shrugged a shoulder "I know you're not a bad person, you just make bad decisions, that's all."

"Stop being nice, Usopp. I know you don't mean it, you just wanna get me out of here." Sanji pursed his lips with and arched an eyebrow.

"Well I do have to get you out of here," Usopp confessed "because you guys need to discuss important band issues." then his eyebrows lifted as he went on "But I do mean what I'm saying. You can be a complete asshole, when you want, but I also know that you're actually very kind and gentle." he shrugged "You just don't show it very often." he sniggered.

Sanji's cheeks turned a pale shade of pink at Usopp's words. He really didn't think that Usopp had that opinion of him, but it was a major uplift. "Stop hitting on me, Usopp. I won't sleep with you, too." he teased, because it was the only way he knew to deal with compliments.

Usopp turned completely red, and it was definitely because of that not so dormant crush that Sanji knew he had on him. "Sh-shut up! I'm not hitting on you!"

Sanji laughed for the first time that day, throwing his head back "I know, you got a boyfriend already." he smirked.

If possible, Usopp's cheeks turned practically purple "Stop it, just stop it!" he sprung to his feet and turned his back on Sanji.

Sanji kept laughing softly as he shook his head. What he had done to deserve a friend like Usopp, he had no clue, but he was glad to have at least him left at a time like that.

"We should go." Usopp muttered, still not looking back at Sanji.

"Is it hard not to... You know... Do certain things with Luffy?" Sanji kept teasing. He knew it was cruel, but it was making him feel slightly better, especially since he knew that in a few moments he was going to feel like crap all over again.

"Sanji, I'll kill you!" Usopp tried not to shout as he turned around "Shut your face!"

Sanji raised both hands "Alright, alright."

Usopp grunted, his hand moving swiftly to unlock the bathroom door, then looking back at Sanji "Are you ready?" he asked before actually pushing the door open.

Sanji's eyebrow shot up, and he gave a quick single-shouldered shrug "'Course I am." he lied, but he was good enough to make it sound like it really wasn't that big of a deal.

"Alright." Usopp nodded, then opened the door to step out of the bathroom first.

Sanji hesitated, he had heard the kind of hostility that was going to greet him as soon as he went back to the living room and he really didn't wish to experience it again, but he really didn't have much of a choice. He tried to inhale a deep breath, but his agitation didn't allow his lungs to open up as much as they needed to, leaving him kind of short-breathed, then walked out of the bathroom once and for all.

Usopp had resumed his original position, next to Luffy who was munching on some chips. Usopp shot Sanji a quick smile as he looked over at him, Vivi too, smiled softly in Sanji's direction, while giving a gentle squeeze to Nami's hand. The redhead sighed at the sight of Sanji, but didn't attack him this time. Well, at least someone was being friendly, or something like that. Sanji dared glancing at Ace, but he was just checking his phone and typing something up – Sanji did wonder who was he texting, if it could perhaps be his brother, but at the same time Sanji knew that Zoro was mad at Ace, too.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?" Franky asked, bringing Sanji back to reality.

"Huh?" the blond asked automatically as his head whipped in the direction of Franky "Uh, no thanks. I'm fine." Sanji gave a curt nod, then pushed his hands into his pockets. He needed a smoke, and badly, but at the same time he didn't want to light one up for some reason.

"I brought some scones! I made them!" Brook exclaimed, beaming up at Sanji.

Sanji looked down at the scones, they looked kind of dry, and probably a bit over baked, but he wasn't the kind of person to refuse something that someone had cooked with love, even if it might have looked bad.

"Alright, I'll have one, then." Sanji smiled softly, then bent to pick a scone from the small bowl on the coffee table.

"So, Sanji... We need to talk about something important." Nami started right away, without even waiting for Sanji to sink his teeth into the scone.

"Sit down, bro." Franky said as he brought him a chair.

"Thanks, Franky." he sat down, then turned to give Nami his full attention "What is it, Nami?" he had a feeling it was obviously going to be about the band, but at the same time he really didn't want to hear it.

Nami joined her hands together, resting her elbow on top of her knees as she looked straight into Sanji's eyes "Dancing around it is pretty useless, but you perfectly know that we need someone to fill in Zoro's position for the upcoming shows."

Sanji didn't bite into the scone, not just yet, he looked down at it, feeling the faintest ache in his chest. He knew they needed someone to play drums for them, but at the same time he couldn't even stand the thought of it, Murder Of Crows only had one drummer and it was Zoro. Zoro was heart and soul of Murder Of Crows, just as much as Sanji was and he couldn't stand thinking about a future in which Zoro wasn't part of the band. It didn't even make sense.

"We need someone who is very good, and could be Zoro's substitute right away. Someone who maybe knows the songs by heart already." Nami added, when she saw that Sanji didn't reply, nor looked at her.

Sanji snorted "There's no one like that, we're not fucking Metallica or something," he shrugged, looking over at Nami "there's no good drummer who knows our songs, already."

Sanji was brutally honest. They simply weren't famous enough to find someone capable to fill in Zoro's position so soon, if they were to find a very good drummer, it would have taken him some time to learn all the songs. He wasn't being pessimistic, just realistic.

"That's where you're mistaken." Nami retorted.

Sanji frowned, but decided to finally taste the scone in his hand. It was just like he had imagined, over baked and too dry, but the flavor wasn't bad, after all.

"There's someone who's capable to fill in for Zoro, and who would be absolutely happy to help us out," Nami tilted her head to the side "at least for the time being."

Sanji swallowed the piece of scone, before huffing with sarcasm "And who would this savior be?" he asked right before taking another bite.

"Bartolomeo." Nami replied pronto.

Sanji inhaled the piece of scone, his eyes widened as he coughed like mad, trying not to die of suffocation right on Franky's floor.

"Hey, hey, breathe!" Franky said as he patted Sanji's back.

Sanji kept coughing and tearing up as he choked on the sweet, unable to say anything. Bartolomeo was the last person he'd let into the band, that fucking idiot obsessed with Zoro was one of the reasons why they were in that situation, to begin with.

"I knew he'd react like that," Luffy sighed, shaking his head "well, minus the choking part."

"Like fuck–" Sanji wiped away a few tears and cleared his throat "Like fuck I'm letting that fucker into the band!"

"I'm not asking your permission, Sanji! We don't have a choice!" Nami cut him off "You pushed us into this mess, you don't get a say in this!"

"Nami, calm down..." Vivi put a hand on Nami's shoulder.

"I hate him!" Sanji growled, crushing the rest of the scone in his hand "I'd rather die than let him take Zoro's place!"

"None of us wanted this, Sanji." Luffy cut in, making everyone look over at him all of a sudden "But we don't have a choice, not while being in the middle of touring."

Sanji couldn't believe what was happening. They were all probably doing this to get back at him, to make him pay for his mistake.

"This is absurd!" Sanji shook his head.

"Just accept it, Sanji. Hopefully it won't be forever." Nami went on, this time in a calmer tone "Don't you think we'd want Zoro with us, too? He's not just your best friend, he's our friend too."

Sanji bit his lower lip, choking back whatever he wanted to yell out. They knew nothing, they didn't know how Sanji felt, they only thought he was the asshole who had made Zoro quit the band. They knew nothing about what Zoro was to Sanji, or maybe they did but couldn't really acknowledge it.

"Whatever." Sanji murmured, getting up from the chair "I gotta go now." he wasn't going to spend one more minute in that house, they were driving him insane.

"We're rehearsing tomorrow." Nami added, not even trying to make him stay.

"I know the songs." Sanji retorted.

"Come on, Sanji..." Luffy sighed.

Sanji looked into the eyes of Zoro's youngest brother and couldn't say no "I'll come when I finish working."

Luffy nodded, there was a hint of the faintest of smiles on his lips. Ace stared up at Sanji for a while, but didn't smile, nor did he say anything to him. Sanji dusted off his hands from the scone crumbs, apologized softly to Franky for the mess, then moved to get his coat and leave.

So this was what it had all come to, friends barely speaking to him, avoiding his gaze, and Nami taking leadership of something that really didn't belong to her. They were going to let Bartolomeo take Zoro's place just like that, and Sanji couldn't even believe what was actually happening.

He walked up to his car, holding back his tears, because he had definitely cried enough during those days, and climbed inside of it. Sanji stared at the house from behind his windshield, and couldn't help but wonder where Zoro was, and if he was ever going to see him again.

"Fuck..." Sanji rubbed angrily at his stinging eyes.

He missed Zoro already, even if he hated to admit it, and somewhere deep inside him, he was praying that what the guys had told him was true.

Could Zoro really be in love with him? Well even if that was true, Sanji wasn't going to do anything about it. Sanji didn't believe in love and romantic relationships, anyway.

He shook his head, feeling stupid for only even thinking about something so silly, and started the car, pulling it on the road and driving back home.

  
_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was followed by yet another huge wait, and I'm really sorry about this but I guess you're getting used to this, aren't you? I don't think the updates will ever be as quick as they used to be at the beginning, I'm starting to work a little lately, and I've got other things that infect me with a bad case of writer's block way too often. I do have things in mind exactly as they are supposed to go in this story, but putting them metaphorically on paper is an entirely different thing. I wanted to reassure all the people who keep asking if I'm ever gonna finish this story... Yes, I will, I do not plan on abandoning it, there are still a few chapters to go, there's still many things to tell, so it might take a while but I will NOT stop writing this story for good. A part of my heart and soul are inside these chapters, it's such an important story for me and I'm gonna see it through. 
> 
> So thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you who is still following me and this story, who's been leaving reviews on here, who's been messaging me on tumblr (for those who want to reach me over there, my url is marimoyaro, and my writing sideblog is helswriting) you're all beautiful and make me incredibly happy! You're one of the biggest reasons why I keep on doing this! I adore you all!
> 
> But enough blabbing now, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Oh... AND MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLYDAYS!

The small kitchen was filled with the strong smell of cigarettes and beer, the light was on while outside the rain drummed insistently against the closed window, the sky as dark as the dead of the night. Zoro was fiddling with the label on the beer bottle, tearing off small pieces as his almost vacant eyes stared at it as he sat by the small table across from Bartolomeo.  
  
"It's not that I ain't flattered," Bartolomeo spoke in an unsure manner "but I never wanted this. I am a fan of you guys, I don't want to take over for you."  
  
Zoro lifted his gaze to look into Barto's distressed eyes "I know." he gave a curt nod and brought a cigarette to his lips, trying not to think about a certain chain-smoker. "But you have my blessing," he said, making air quotes with just one hand "you're the only one fit for the role, at least for now."  
  
Bartolomeo sighed, hanging his head for a moment "I never wanted for this to happen." he muttered, almost whining.  
  
Zoro shrugged "It's not like you did it," he wasn't exactly lying, because Sanji was the one who had flipped because of Bartolomeo and went off sleeping with Ace. Barto wasn't the one to blame. "It happened. I'm kinda sure it was going to happen anyway, sooner or later." he blew smoke out of his lips in a short huff, then flicked ashes into the ashtray.  
  
"Sanji hates my guts." Bartolomeo added after a few moments of silence.  
  
"Yeah, he does." Zoro agreed as he took a swig of beer, his eyes avoiding to make further contact with Barto's.  
  
"He's gonna kill me, first chance he gets." Bartolomeo added, his fangs chewing down on his lower lip.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Don't be fucking dramatic. Just get the job done." he looked back at him "The others will make things easier."  
  
Since The Crows were going to meet at Franky's, Zoro had taken up Kidd's offer to stay at his and his brother's, even though Barto was the only one actually home. He didn't mind, though, as long as he had beer he was just fine, and Bartolomeo still hadn't said anything weird or embarrassing. They had just kind of fallen into a calm conversation, with no strange talk about feelings or anything, it was mostly Bartolomeo being shocked at Zoro and Sanji fighting, and Zoro leaving the band.  
  
The truth was that by that point Zoro didn't care about whatever could have happened, he didn't care about whatever Barto could have told him. Actually he couldn't feel a damn thing, he was empty, completely drained of everything, and for the time being there was nothing that could have been done to change that.

He had both involuntarily and voluntarily slipped into some kind of a self destructive phase, especially when Bartolomeo had pulled out a cigarette from a packet and Zoro had asked for one.  
  
He never really smoked, it was against his healthy principles, (not that drinking insane amounts of booze could actually be considered healthy, but...) he'd only ever smoked a few times in his life, and he had mostly always hated it... But in that very moment the taste and the burning sensation in his throat and lungs felt strangely appealing, if not also appropriate.  
  
The more he ruminated about Nami and the other guys choosing a substitute right away, the more he wanted to suck that deadly smoke inside his body. Zoro knew it was going to happen, hell he had been the first person to say that they needed to keep going, especially during the tour, but it still stung and burnt.  
  
He knew that Bartolomeo was probably the best substitute they could get, since he was a great fan of theirs and knew every and each song by heart, but that was Zoro's duty, his right place in the universe, and he had had to give up on it for other people's stupidity. The good thing was that Bartolomeo had actually repeated over and over that he didn't feel much comfortable in filling in for him, it felt like robbing, and Zoro appreciated it.  
  
"Why don't you rethink this, man?" Bartolomeo's voice brought Zoro back to reality, making him look up at him again.  
  
"Barto, I told you..." Zoro sighed "There's just no way I can rethink this. It's just the way it has to be." he took one last drag before crushing the filter inside the ashtray.  
  
"You're my favorite, man. I..." Barto began stammering, his cheeks rapidly began to flush "I-I just can't think about not seeing you perform ever again, you're just... You're too awesome! I need you to play drums with The Crows again!"  
  
Zoro ground his teeth, his jaw tensing as he squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't enjoying that situation, he hadn't asked for it, but there was no going back, at least not for a long, long while. "You're not making it any fucking easier for me, do you understand this?" he growled, slamming his fist into the table "I told you a thousand times, I can't do this, no matter how many times you ask. I'm not a Crow anymore. I'm just Zoro."  
  
Bartolomeo had jumped slightly into his seat, startled by Zoro's outburst. He looked down at the table, clearly ashamed for having upset Zoro. "I... I'm sorry, you're right." he swallowed thickly, eyes still glued on the wooden surface "I just don't want you to hate me for taking your place."  
  
Zoro huffed, resting back against the chair "You're fucking unbelievable," Zoro snorted "you gotta stop doing this, it's annoying. Stop being so damn self-conscious or self-hating around me. I'm not some kind of deity, I'm a person." he spewed, unable to contain himself. He couldn't handle anything anymore, he had no patience left.  
  
Bartolomeo's cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson, he cringed at Zoro's words but managed to look up at him "I know you are but..." he hesitated, licking his chapped lips and watching as Zoro drank beer directly from the bottle "You're special to me, even if I definitely ain't for you."  
  
Zoro didn't know how he managed to not inhale his beer, but he did. He kept calm, gulping down a swig and setting the bottle down on the table, he didn't look at Bartolomeo and managed not to belch in such a delicate situation.  
  
"Listen, I... I just don't have it in me. Not anymore, not right now." Zoro started, his hand gripping tightly around the bottle "I can't give you what you want from me, because my heart is just–" he grimaced, swallowing down a nasty feeling in his throat.

Bartolomeo shook his head and raised his hands, his eyes squeezing shut momentarily as he spoke "No, no, look... I know. I always did know," he started "it was hopeless from the start but I tried anyway, probably ending up being annoying as fuck." he let out a nervous chuckle "I know you don't like me, not the way I do like you, at least." he nodded, a small, hollow smile curving his lips.  
  
Zoro looked up at him, at the way he still kept a small smile plastered on his lips and couldn't help but feel like he knew exactly what he was going through. He didn't want to smash the poor guy's heart to pieces, but he couldn't delude him, couldn't let him believe he had an actual shot at winning Zoro's heart, because he barely had one at all, by that point.  
  
"I'm sorry, Barto..." Zoro sighed "It would have probably been a lot easier, if I did return those feelings." he added, not knowing whether those words would have made everything worse or maybe slightly better.  
  
The expression on Bartolomeo's face was unexpectedly serene, his fangs peeking out of his upper lip as he kept on smirking "It would have been easier for me, too." he licked his lips, then sucked in a deep breath before standing up to randomly search around the cabinets and the fridge for something that Zoro couldn't quite figure out.  
  
"Should I leave?" Zoro asked, while looking at the back of Bartolomeo's head. He saw the boy's shoulders tense at those words, and then sag as he stopped his frantic search.  
  
"No," he gulped, then shook his head "no, don't mind me. I'm fine." he quickly glanced back at Zoro from over his shoulder, his hands still idly pulling on the small cabinet knobs "You've got nowhere else to stay, I would never kick you out." then he looked back ahead of him, to keep pretending like he was looking for something, as he added "I didn't randomly start hating you, don't worry. I know how much you love him."  
  
"What?!" Zoro's eyes widened, his hands balling up into fists. So even he knew, but he never held any kind of resentment towards Sanji, nor he had ever stopped loving him, regardless?  
  
"Hey, I'm your biggest fan, remember?" Barto joked as he finally turned around to face Zoro, resting back against the counter "I told you I always knew," he shrugged "I just kept foolishly hoping I could stand even the smallest of chances."  
  
Zoro huffed, hanging his head "Well, I..." he licked his lips, not really knowing what to say or do.  
  
"I should go, I..." Bartolomeo suddenly changed topic "I got a shift at work, I'm pretty sure my brother will be back soon, you just... Make yourself comfortable, alright?"  
  
Zoro's head shot back up, and the deepest of frowns warped his features "I thought you'd worked in the morning?"  
  
Barto's eyes widened "I-I did?! Well, I–"  
  
Zoro threw his head back with a groan "Please, don't be like this, it's your damn house, I'll leave if you feel awkward." he said, standing up from his seat.  
  
"It's just that it's really fucking hard seeing you like this," Barto finally bursted "this is a Zoro I've never seen. You're broken, and you're left with nothing, and I wish I could make it better but I can't, because I'm no one and I'm useless, and I'd just really want to kiss you." he vomited out all those words without even realizing it, and only when Zoro's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he knew had definitely said too much. "Look, forget what I said, alright? Forget it. All of it. Especially the last part." he cried out, flailing his arms in embarrassment.

Zoro scrubbed a hand down his face, he could feel the bags underneath his eyes and he hated it, but in that moment, after Barto threw up all his desires towards him, he couldn't really care. He didn't feel comfortable, he couldn't deal with those words, even if Barto had asked him to pretend like he hadn't said them, they still had been poured all over Zoro, like a shower of icy water that had pooled all around him, freezing his brain.  
  
"I can't–" Zoro began, pressing his lips together, then nipping at the inside of the bottom one. The words were simple, but he couldn't get them out.  
  
"I know, I'm an idiot," Barto admitted, nodding his head "I shouldn't have said those things, you cannot take this shit right now." he went on, perfectly finishing Zoro's sentence for him. "Please don't hate me." he ended up pleading, as usual.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and stood up "Look, I can't stay here, right now. I need to get some fresh air."  
  
Barto's eyes filled up with fear right away, clearly regretting the poor decision his brain had made on impulse "I won't jump you, or anything..." he blurted out, then grimaced, realizing how awfully he was worsening his situation.  
  
Zoro waved both hands in front of him "Don't add any more gasoline to the fire, alright?" he huffed "I need some space, I'll be back whenever I feel like." With those final words he sprinted out of the kitchen and towards the front door, making sure to pick his coat up from the rack on his way out, and ignoring Barto's pleas in the background as he left the house.  
  
The moment he was out of the apartment Zoro gasped for air, as if he had been stuck underwater for several minutes, then kept climbing down the stairs as if he was running away from a monster, his breath ragged as he kept running until he was a good three blocks away from Kidd and Barto's place, and stopped only when he felt somewhat safe.  
  
He had known all along what were Bartolomeo's feelings for him, or at least he had imagined them, but hearing him out was a whole different story. Zoro felt a grip to his heart and stomach, and his throat closing up as he thought about how much he needed to hear those words spilling from a different mouth, one that tasted like nicotine and booze way too often, one that spewed profanities more than kind words, especially towards him.  
  
Zoro was going insane, the more time passed the more he realized it, and it was horrifying. He never thought that Sanji could have that kind of power over him and he hated it, he hated it with every fiber and cell of his body, but the worst thing was that no matter what had happened, he couldn't bring himself to loathe Sanji just as much.  
  
Bartolomeo was right, he was broken and he had lost pretty much everything, even if he still had troubles realizing it, or at least he was doing a very good job at forgetting about it. Zoro didn't want to be broken, miserable and be left with nothing, he still had his little brother, his parents and his friends... But it was still too soon to see them again, and he had no idea when the time was going to be right again.  
  
Zoro sucked in a shaky breath, he wasn't going to cry or vomit in the middle of the streets, but he did need to at least have a seat, so he walked another block to reach a small park and find himself a bench to rest on. He was most definitely lost, by then, but he couldn't care less, he needed to be alone even if it probably wasn't a good idea to be alone with his mind, he couldn't think straight in that moment and he could have ended up doing something he would regret.  
  
His phone began to buzz, as if it wanted to save him from himself, distracting him from any kind of poisonous thought, Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and reached into the pocket of his coat to fish out his cellphone. When he peeked at the screen he saw Luffy's toothy grin beaming back at him, and his heart tightened – was his little brother psychic? Either way Zoro decided to pick up, Luffy's voice was all he could stand to hear in that moment.  
  
"Hey..." Zoro answered.  
  
_"Zoro! Hi! Are you alright? Where are you? Not out getting drunk, I hope! Are you eating alright? Pooping?"_ Luffy's voice was thick with apprehension, but it made Zoro chuckle ever so softly.  
  
"I'm okay, yeah. I'm in a park, sober. I think I ate something earlier and... I don't remember if I pooped this morning." Zoro answered, a soft smile curling his lips.  
  
_"You have to eat more and better, so you can poop just fine! It'll make you feel healthier!"_ Luffy went on, and Zoro snorted, shaking his head because of his little brother's obsession with poop.  
  
"Alright, I will," Zoro replied with a nod of his head "how are you?"  
  
_"I'm good, but I miss you. We had our first band meeting without you, and it sucked. It just isn't the same."_ Luffy sighed.  
  
Zoro knew he was going to bring up the band, so he was able not to let it affect him and worsen his current condition. He always knew what to expect from Luffy.  
  
"Sorry about that." was all Zoro could say, he wasn't going to lie to his brother about coming back.  
  
_"We had to ask Barto to fill in your position, you should have seen Sanji's face."_ Luffy went on, and Zoro felt like a blade had just been embedded between his lungs, knocking the wind out of him.  
  
"You made the right decision." Zoro said in a slightly broken voice. Fuck, he hated having to feel like that anytime Sanji was brought up.  
  
_"It was the only option. We'd all rather have you back."_  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "I'm sure not everyone feels like that."  
  
_"And I'm pretty sure of the contrary."_ Luffy insisted.  
  
"Well, that can't be done, and you know that." Zoro reminded him.  
  
_"I know. And it blows."_ there was a brief pause, then Luffy went on _"I miss you."_  
  
Zoro shut his eyes, feeling guilty for leaving Luffy "Me too."  
  
_"Where have you been?"_  
  
"At Kidd and Barto's." Zoro had no need to lie, nor to keep anything from Luffy, he knew he could trust him.  
  
_"Oh... I didn't think you would."_ Luffy admitted, sounding surprised.  
  
"Well, I couldn't stay at Franky's if you had a meeting, could I?" Zoro explained, rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze getting caught by the sight of two pigeons fighting over a piece of bread.  
  
_"No, of course not."_ Luffy agreed _"Are you gonna get with Barto?"_  
  
Zoro choked on his own saliva and coughed hard enough to scare both birds away, and render him unable to answer.  
  
_"Maybe it'd make you forget about Sanji. Barto would treat you right."_  
  
"Shut up, Luffy!" Zoro growled "I'm not into rebounds." he shook his head. How could Luffy even think that? God.  
  
_"I'm just trying to help."_ Luffy said casually.  
  
"I gotta go now."  
  
_"Come on, Zoro!"_  
  
"I'll call you back."  
  
_"Jeez. Bye!"_  
  
"Bye."  
  
Zoro ended the call and quickly pushed the phone back into his pocket, as if the device had personally offended him and making it disappear from his sight made things easier.  
  
Luffy seriously knew no boundaries most of the times, there weren't enough lines he dared not to cross, and of course he'd go and suggest Zoro to find a new sentimental interest, as if feelings could change overnight. Luffy clearly had no idea about how this kind of things actually worked, and Zoro wasn't one to randomly fall for the first pair of nice words and pat on the shoulder.  
  
Bartolomeo might have been a sweet and nice guy, but what had built up over the years inside of Zoro's chest wasn't exactly something that could be wiped out in a matter of minutes. Plus, things like that took time and such a large amount of other things that it was absolutely impossible for Zoro to stop loving Sanji and suddenly feel something for Bartolomeo. It was out of question.  
  
Yes, maybe Zoro would have enjoyed some comfort of any sorts, but he didn't have it in him, he wasn't going to fall into the first pair of arms that were willing to hold him, nor give in to the first mouth that wanted to console him. Zoro was different, and even if the events had proven to be harder than he had ever thought, he liked to think that he was stronger than that, that he didn't need anyone else but his own self. He couldn't betray himself, could he? At least he hoped so.  
  
He shook his head, simultaneously trying to rid himself of everything going on in his head and thought that he really needed to go back to Franky's – thankfully he had left all his stuff locked up in the guest room he'd been staying in, he could text Bartolomeo later to tell him he wasn't coming back, at least until rehearsals were going to happen. He had a whole night and morning ahead to clear up his mind, Franky was definitely going to help him think straight.  
  
He stood up, hands firmly shoved into the pockets of his coat and eyes scrutinizing his surroundings... Of course he had no idea where he was, but he was positive that one way or another he was going to find his way back to Franky's house.  
  
Hopefully.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sanji had always found the phrase _'being in a dark place'_ kind of funny, or weird at least, because people always stated it as a temporary condition, something they could eventually manage to crawl out from, while Sanji had been there his entire life. Since when his mother had died, the dark place had swallowed him and he had been unable to escape it, so he had learned to dwell it, and make a home in it.  
  
Sanji's dark place, though, has always had a few crack in the walls, where the light was actually able to filter through and slightly brighten the constant darkness. The biggest crack had a name on it, a name that started with Z and ended with an O, it was such a huge crack that at times it made Sanji think that the darkness had left him for good. That crack had collapsed against the rest of the wall, now, shutting out the light and taking the rest of the cracks along with it, bringing total darkness back and leaving Sanji blind and gasping for air.  
  
He didn't want that, though, Sanji wanted to be angry and insensitive to his surroundings, but he couldn't, the crack had sealed up but a huge wound had sliced up his heart and there was no stitching it.  
  
And so he bled.  
  
The fever was gone, but Sanji's heart was bleeding so profusely that he was surprised he could still manage to stand upright and breathe.  
  
Down at Baratie he worked like a machine, with no passion, just mechanical precision and diligence, only because he needed to function if he still wanted to keep his job, but his father didn't like it, he didn't want a sous-chef whose cooking didn't come from the heart and so he was suspended.  
  
What enveloped Sanji was no longer darkness, it was a black hole, something that had trapped him and could only bring suffering and despair, someplace that Sanji couldn't escape.  
  
"How could you do this to me?! I'm the best fucking cook you got in that shitty restaurant!" Sanji roared, kicking one of the kitchen chairs so hard that one of the wooden legs snapped.  
  
" _I_ am the best fucking cook in that shitty restaurant!" Zeff retorted, yelling just as loud as his son.  
  
"You know that my job was all I had left and you took that from me, too! You shitty bastard!" Sanji shouted at the top of his lungs, he could almost taste blood in his mouth from how loud he was being.  
  
"Well I don't want it to be the only thing you have left, you fucking stupid Eggplant!" Zeff slammed one of his big hands on the counter, and made it shake as strong as a quake.  
  
"Well I don't fucking car–" Sanji hadn't realized what had been uttered until his brain had eventually processed it, so he stopped yelling and his eyes widened "Wait, what?" he asked in a softer voice, blinking in his bewilderment.  
  
Zeff shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers pressing against his tired lids. "I might be an asshole, but I'm not heartless and I love my son."  
  
Sanji kept staring at his father in what could only be classified as pure shock, unable to move or speak as he tried to figure out what was going on.  
  
Zeff opened his eyes again and spread his arms "I need you to find your passion again, I wanna see the fire of determination in your eyes, I wanna... See you cook certain things in a hurry because you wanna go to band practice, I want you to–" he paused, hanging his head in sign of weakness. "I want you to stay out at night because you're spending it over at Zoro's, I want you to be happy." he continued, his gaze rooted to the floor, unable to look at his son.  
  
Sanji couldn't believe his eyes nor his ears, he had to hold onto the table with both hands to stand still "Who are you, and what did you do to the old fart?" he said in a trembling voice, still somehow able to make the stupidest joke of all times. Never in his life Sanji had heard Zeff say anything like that, nor he had ever seen him break like that in front of him, after all those years.  
  
Zeff lifted up his head and slowly shook it "Shut up!" he groaned "I wasn't there for you when you were a kid, so I wanna be here with you now. Is it too late? Is it a crime?"  
  
Sanji's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't know how to react, because part of him wanted to yell that yes, it was way too late to repent now, to try and act like a father, because Mihawk and Shanks had been more helpful than Zeff could ever have been. Another side of him, though, wanted to break down and cry, because Zeff was all he had left in that ugly life and he really needed all the support he could get, even if it might have felt weird.  
  
"Either way, you're in no condition to work, you're absent and when you ain't completely apathetic you're more aggressive than usual," Zeff went on when Sanji didn't say anything, regaining his composure and authority "I can't afford to have someone who cannot do their job properly in my kitchen." he cleared his throat and gave a brief shrug.  
  
"It is fucking late, you shitty geezer." Sanji finally spoke, and Zeff's eyes widened "But... You're still my father, and the only one who actually fucking listened to me." he said in a shaky voice, so he tried clearing his throat to no avail "I... How can you leave me without a job? I need the money!" Sanji suddenly cried, anger taking over again. Zeff's parenting sucked, and his decision was the opposite thing he should have done to try and repent.  
  
"Then fight for it. Fight to get back the money, fight to make your dream come true, prove me wrong. Prove me that you can be the professional singer you wanna be." Zeff replied, without losing his temper.  
  
Sanji huffed, shaking his head. Was the shitty geezer kidding him? He wanted him go be a professional singer? "Oh, gimme a break! You always tried to keep me from becoming a musician! You never gave a fuck! What are you trying to do, here? This isn't one of these stupid ass television shows where families make up and live happily ever after!" he snarled, venomous. The last thing he needed was Zeff being a deceitful asshole.  
  
"That was because I wanted you to work in addition to following your dream, but you wouldn't fucking listen!" Zeff growled "You wanted to sing and do nothing else, but that's not how it works. You need a job to live until singing will pay the bills, and you've always only paid attention if I was hard on you, you stupid Eggplant." he sucked up a big, shaky breath once he was done speaking, and took a seat on the nearest chair – one that Sanji hadn't broken.  
  
Sanji just stood there, dumbfounded, maybe even kind of numb. He seriously couldn't tell anymore whether he was living his reality or if he had been sucked into a parallel universe. Everything sounded so absurd, or better, it sounded too simple and obvious to be actually true and he just couldn't buy it.

"I know what it feels like to lose your entire world," Zeff went on, his tone was so much softer and nostalgic now, and Sanji knew right away what he was talking about. "I didn't fight back, for too long, and it was the worst thing I could have ever done." Zeff stared at his son long and hard.  
  
Sanji felt a jolt running up his spine, he knew that he was saying he should have fought against the sorrow for his wife's death. It was clear now that Zeff was regretting not taking care of Sanji as much as he should have and he was definitely trying to tell his son that he shouldn't have done anything like that, either.  
  
"But we're all allowed to grieve, we can't just pretend like nothing happened, we ca–" Sanji started fumbling with his words, but Zeff cut him right off with a head shake and a raised hand.  
  
"Of course we are, but we cannot let it consume us completely." Zeff explained "I'd do anything I could to turn back time and do the right thing with you, my son."  
  
Sanji could feel his eyes on the verge of overflowing with tears, but he still didn't want to give in to shameless weeping. He could barely believe what was happening, because it sounded like one of those moments in movies where father and son made up after years of incomprehension, and Sanji was too disenchanted for that kind of crap.  
  
"Shut up..." Sanji growled lowly, feeling like a tennis ball was stuck in the back of his throat, barely allowing him to speak up "I told you, this ain't a goddamned TV Show." he repeated, his voice broken, but his eyes still weren't leaking.  
  
Zeff sighed, hanging his head for a moment "You don't believe me, but I saw this coming." he confessed, a weak, hollow smile tugging at the corners of his lips "But I just need you to promise me that you'll fight, because giving in completely to this situation will annihilate you." his tone of voice was definitely that of someone who knew what he was talking about.  
  
Sanji shrugged "I got nothing to fight for, it's all over 'cause I screwed up too much." Sanji's voice cracked again, so he tried to clear his throat.  
  
"If you give up now that you still got time to repent, that's when you truly have fucked up beyond redemption." Zeff insisted, jabbing his forefinger in Sanji's direction "I know that, for a fact."  
  
Sanji tried to inhale deeply but a sob escaped his lips, just like a few straight tears betrayed his control and he quickly wiped them off. "I don't know where he is, and I won't probably see him ever again." he finally caved in and spoke about Zoro, the tears suddenly impossible to control.  
  
A soft smile appeared on Zeff's lips as he shook his head "Don't be stupid, he has a family here, and I'm sure he won't be able to stay away for long. Not even from your friends." he tried to reassure his son.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Sanji sobbed and rubbed at his eyes, his face felt on fire and his head was pounding in a slight yet unbearable way.  
  
"You got rehearsals?" Zeff asked. Sanji couldn't speak and just nodded between ragged breaths. "I'll leave you alone, then. Eat something, before you go." he turned around and disappeared from the kitchen in order to leave the house to go to work.  
  
Sanji, on his part, was left alone as he wept and just collapsed on his hunches as all the sorrow poured out of him. He still couldn't figure out the effect that Zeff's bomb had had on him, but hoped that bawling his eyes out wasn't going to leave him voiceless.

Throughout the morning and afternoon, Sanji was alone in the house, he had stopped crying when his eyes had practically ran out of tears, and his head was killing him. He popped an aspirin, just in case, and proceeded to clean his entire bedroom just to do something, and keep his mind too busy to let his thoughts run wild and dangerous once again.  
  
At no point he actually got hungry, but decided that he needed to prove Zeff (and himself, too) that he could still cook with passion, or at least try to. He didn't make anything too fancy or complex, a Caesar Salad with a few extra ingredients worked just fine, especially when he could make his own creamy sauce for the dressing, and the fridge had just been recently stoked with the freshest of produce.  
  
The way he cooked was still mechanical, he knew all the steps he needed to do by heart, and his mind ended up traveling to awful places once again. Sanji was trying to hold on to the good things that Zeff had said to him, to his advice and everything, but it had all lasted for a brief while, because at the end of the day Sanji still had nothing positive to look forward to. There was no going back to have Zoro as a best friend, no going back to how Murder Of Crows was supposed to be, and all too quickly Sanji had slipped back to the black pit of despair he had momentarily crawled out of.  
  
Sanji sat by the kitchen table, idly staring at the bowl of Caesar Salad placed in front of him, but he couldn't really see it. There was a sense of nausea gnawing away at Sanji's stomach but he didn't really feel like throwing up, it was more like a squeeze or a nasty grip to the pit of his stomach. His throat was knotting up, and all of a sudden it dawned on him like a slap across the face: he missed Zoro. He missed Zoro so much that it made him physically ill, and he had no idea how to deal with it, how to overcome it. Sanji was going to have to rehearse without Zoro for the first time and the thought simply horrified him.  
  
An arrogant buzzing unexpectedly growled against the wooden surface of the kitchen table, startling Sanji so bad that he slapped it right away, making it tumble to the floor.  
  
"Oh, shit!" Sanji's words came out suffocated, but he immediately reached down to pick the vibrating phone back up "Fuck!" he growled at the small crack on the screen. Great, now he was going to have to pay for the replacement. Whose number was blaring underneath the crack, anyway? Sanji's eyebrows furrowed and he reluctantly swiped his finger across the screen to pick up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
_"Blackleg?"_ an hoarse voice called from the other end of the phone, making Sanji scowl even more.  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
_"It's Eustass. Kidd."_  
  
Now Sanji's eyebrows couldn't help but shoot up almost past his hairline.  
  
"Who the fuck gave you my number?!"  
  
_"Your keyboardist? Chill, man."_  
  
"Don't you fucking tell me to chill!" Sanji nearly roared into the phone's mic, probably screaming Kidd's ear off.  
  
_"Fuck! Alright! Jesus...."_  
  
"What do you want from me?" Sanji growled.  
  
Why the hell would Nami give Eustass his number? Zoro was usually the one who spoke to him, why did she have to be so unreasonably horrible?  
  
_"We're gonna have rehearsals together, at our studio."_  
  
Sanji nearly dropped his phone. What the fuck was happening? What was with all those damn changes? Wasn't losing Zoro and replacing him with the fucking Bartolomonster enough of a change?  
  
"Why the fuck is that? Why no one asked if I was on board with this?" he snarled, getting more and more ticked off.  
  
_"Because I want you to sing with me on stage. We need to rehearse in order to do that."_  
  
Sanji's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.  
  
"Why would you just fucking assume that I'd want to do that? This is insane! You all got no respect for me!" Sanji was practically yelling by that point.  
  
_"Will you stop screaming into my ear? Shit, you're gonna bust my eardrum or something!"_  
  
"Fuck you!" Sanji shouted once again before hanging up.  
  
He slammed the cell upon the table – it was already broken after all, wasn't it? – then ran his fingers through his blond hair as he wheezed, his entire body shaking with rage. Everyone and everything was turning against him, he knew he had made a mistake but everyone was taking punishment way too far.

Was he overreacting? Probably. Did he care? Not even one teeny tiny bit. Sanji couldn't stand the way in which everyone was trying to somehow take the leadership of his band, no one consulted him anymore and it was only causing him a deeper heartache. Sanji knew he hadn't really been himself, lately, but he was still one of the founders of the band and he had a right to discuss decisions with the others, they couldn't come up with random shit and expect him to just lower his head and accept.  
  
The salad was still sitting in front of him, untouched, even if the bowl had shifted to the left when Sanji had slammed the phone onto the table the way he had. The awful feeling to his stomach was still there but he hadn't noticed that the phone call had actually stirred his thoughts to something else that made him forget about the pain he was feeling and had just spiked up his fighting instincts. He wasn't aching for Zoro at the moment, but he was angry that someone was trying to harm their creation, thing that in a way was slightly healthier.  
  
Sanji didn't really have much time to realize what was going on with him, because the phone started buzzing again and the singer picked it up with a growl. The same unsaved number from earlier was lighting up the screen, Eustass wasn't going to give up, apparently.  
  
"What do you want?" Sanji growled into the phone.  
  
_"Don't you fucking dare hang up on me again, you hear me?!"_ Kidd barked, clearly pissed off. Of course Sanji expected nothing less.  
  
"Or what?" Sanji arched an eyebrow, challenge dripping from his lips.  
  
_"Did you forget who's the singer of the more famous band? The band that is actually sponsoring you around the country?"_  
  
Shit. Sanji hadn't thought about that. He might have been as furious as he wanted, but jeopardizing the future of the band the way he did was awful. He couldn't do that, not to himself, not to anyone else so he sucked in a deep breath and tried to stay calm.  
  
"I don't like being threatened." Sanji stated in a quieter tone of voice.  
  
_"Then don't act like an asshole."_ Eustass replied.  
  
"I also hate having your brother in my fucking band." Sanji knew he probably shouldn't have said that, but he had seen how much Bartolomeo got on his own brother's nerves, too.  
  
_"I know that perfectly, but it really ain't my fault."_ Kidd's voice was starting to sound calmer and if Sanji really had to stretch reality, he was probably trying to be friendly.  
  
"So... What was the thing you wanted to tell me?" Sanji asked in an attempt to sound as casual as possible.  
  
_"I want you to sing with me on stage. You know, make fans understand more that we're seriously collaborating. It could help both our bands."_  
  
Sanji frowned, not entirely sure about the whole thing, it sounded kind of forced but he wanted to at least try and believe him.  
  
"Yeah, you think?" he shrugged, though Kidd couldn't see him.  
  
"Yeah." there was a brief pause, but Sanji didn't try to break the silence as he waited for Eustass to go on "We're adding a Motionless In White cover to our setlist, would you like to join us for the chorus?"  
  
Sanji's eyebrow quirked at such a polite and well posed question. That sounded so much like there was something unsaid underneath, but he didn't want to investigate any further.  
  
"Alright, yeah... Which one?" Sanji simply asked.  
  
_"Death March."_ Kidd stated, without too many extra words.  
  
Sanji wasn't that much of a Motionless In White fan, he remembered fucking Zoro saying something about the bassist being hot, but other than that he had maybe listened to a couple songs but that was it. He was definitely going to look them up online as soon as Kidd was finally going to leave him alone.

"Okay?" Sanji replied, simply not knowing what else he could have added to his answer.  
  
_"Alright, then I'll see you later this evening. Try to memorize the song a little, yeah? I'll text you the address."_  
  
"Sure. Bye." Sanji gave a curt nod and ended the call while Kidd was probably still speaking to him.  
  
The singer thought that for a day he'd already had too much human interaction, but he couldn't really miss rehearsals when he was on lead vocals. Sanji sucked in a deep breath, he still hadn't noticed that the phone call had lightened his heart a little, and he probably was never going to. He typed up the title of the song and the name of the band and clicked on the first YouTube lyrics video he could find of the song.  
  
The sound wasn't bad, not at all, definitely in the style of Freakshow so he could perfectly see why they would cover one of their songs. It was dark, industrial like sounding and the theme so far was pretty horror based, still something very much in the style of Freakshow. When the chorus came up, Sanji's eyebrows knitted together, because it felt so much like Chris Motionless was singing about him.  
  
_'I indulge the hypocrisy and I devour the pain.  
I give into the ecstasy but the cold dark remains.  
I control my own destiny and I won't suffer in vain,  
My enemy will not be the end of me, no no.'_  
  
Sanji briefly shook his head, then went on listening as he read the lyrics on the cracked screen. He took for granted that Kidd would have sung alone the rest of the song, since the most melodic part was the chorus, while the stanzas were more of the industrial kind of singing. Still there was another part that caught Sanji's attention, and he really couldn't help but think that there might have been a specific reason behind Kidd's request of singing that particular song together.  
  
_'All is fair in love and war,  
I'm still rotten to the core  
So won't somebody start this shit?  
Fuck 'em all, I'm over it.'_  
  
Sanji let the rest of the song play in the background as he stared into the nothingness. If Eustass had done it on purpose, then Sanji didn't know whether to be mad or grateful. Singing something like that was something that Sanji found extremely therapeutic, but at the same time he feared it might have had a bad effect on him – it might have just convinced him more of how completely damaged he was, and how much his mess was unclenable.  
  
Sanji let the YouTube app open in the background, and tapped on Eustass's number to text him two simple words.  
  
_'Cool song'_  
  
Then after he pressed send he went back to replay the video from the beginning. He was most likely going to spend the rest of the afternoon like that.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Out in the chilly air of the evening, darkness prevailing over the yellowish glow of the streetlights, Sanji still had the lyrics of Death March echoing in the back of his mind and keeping him company as he left his parked car a block away from the address that Eustass had provided him with. The neighborhood was unfamiliar, it was a part of the city that Sanji had never really seen and he wondered if it was maybe near any of Freakshow's member houses.  
  
Sanji tried not to slip over the the fallen leaves soaked in rain as he crossed the street and reached the black and red door with the a neon lighy sign towering above. _'Baroque Records'_ were the two words that Sanji read in bright crimson, and that's when he knew that that place was actually a lot more important than he thought... Was it really the headquarters of the music label or just a branch? He had no idea, but he was seriously shitting his pants, now.  
  
He hoped to his good star that he hadn't arrived too late, the last thing he wanted was making an awful, sloppy impression on the agency, but at the same time he didn't feel good about it, because he just couldn't help but thinking about Zoro being there with him too. Well the idiot had decided to give everything up on his own, after all, Sanji couldn't take the entire blame if Zoro had decided not to be there. Or at least that was what Sanji told himself to try and feel less horrible about the whole situation.  
  
Hesitant fingers laid on the black, shiny push bar, Sanji's unsure eyes wandered on the blacked-out window of the door which suggested that even though he couldn't see past it everyone was probably able to see him standing like a dummy in front of the door of the studio. He took in a sharp breath and finally pushed the door open to find himself immediately swallowed into a room way brighter than he'd expected, especially given the dark grey walls.  
  
There were two heavily tattooed girls behind the reception desk, and while one of them was simultaneously engaged in a phone conversation and a search on her MAC, the other was cashing in from a group of four long haired people, all dressed in leather.  
  
"See ya next week, guys!" the receptionist waved them goodbye and the group of people responded to her with a less cheerful tone, and strutted past Sanji bumping a guitar and a bass case slightly into him on their way out.  
  
"Assholes." Sanji gritted his teeth and walked up to the desk.  
  
The receptionist smiled at him, and he could spot a smiley piercing hanging from behind her purple tinted upper lip "Welcome to the Baroque Records rehearsal studios. Can I help you?"  
  
Sanji's knees weakened at that gorgeous smile, he watched as she tucked a purple strand of hair behind her ear to reveal a stretched lobe. She looked otherworldly in her unnatural beauty, and Sanji completely forgotten what he was doing there for a while. How could such stunning people even exist?  
  
"Sir?" the girl repeated, raising her clearly drawn on eyebrows at Sanji.  
  
"O-oh..." Sanji blinked and cleared his throat "Please, don't call me sir!" he chuckled nervously "Would you join me for din–" he shook his head and nearly slapped himself across his stupid face "I-I mean, I'm Sanji Blackleg. I think my band's already here for rehearsals?"  
  
The girl laughed softly at Sanji's words, but didn't lose her cool at all. "You're the lead singer of Murder Of Crows, right? Freakshow's guests for tonight's session?"  
  
Sanji blinked a few times "Yeah!" he nodded "Yeah, that's me!"  
  
"Then yes, they're already here." she confirmed with a curt nod.  
  
"Shit..." Sanji hung his head in shame. Was he seriously so damn late?  
  
"They got here ten minutes ago, don't worry." the girl cheered him up, and Sanji raised his head again "Room 5." she winked, then pointed out the hallway to him.  
  
"Oh, thank you so much! You're a real angel!" Sanji thanked her before taking off in the direction of the studio.  
  
"Oh and, just so you know–" the girl paused to allow Sanji to turn around and look at her "I'd come to dinner with you." she smirked.  
  
Sanji turned a bright shade of pink and nearly ran into the wall before resuming his running towards room number five. That wasn't exactly a first, but normally Sanji didn't attract female attentions as much as the male crowd, so when it did happen it made him slightly uncomfortable, for some reasons.  
  
When he finally reached the black door with a gold number five painted on top, he could hear the faint sound of Bonney's electric guitar shredding, as if she was quickly practicing a solo. Sanji knocked as hard as he could to be heard from over the music, and a few moments after the door swung open and Usopp's smile greeted him. 

"Hey, you made it! We were starting to worry!" Usopp said as he stepped aside to let him in.  
  
Sanji snorted "Yeah, right." he muttered as he stepped in and found everyone staring at him, and more or less everyone smiled as they greeted him. "Hi, sorry I'm late." he said as he stuck his right hand in the pocket of his coat and waved the other in greeting.  
  
"Nah, it's okay, we only just got here." Nami nodded as she stood up to loop her arms around his neck to whisper in his ear "Sorry for lashing out on you the way I did."  
  
Sanji froze in his position for many reasons, and the biggest one was Nami apologizing to him like that. He felt his heart swelling with gratitude, because he seriously couldn't take being harassed by everyone anymore "I-it's fine." he mumbled, his arms stayed still along his sides but his hands balled up into fists.  
  
"I mean, I'm still furious for what happened," Nami said as she pulled back "but I shouldn't have been so horrible." she shrugged.  
  
Sanji nodded "Well, I'm furious at myself too, so welcome to the club." he said with a small, hollow smile, before taking a look at the people around the room.  
  
Everyone was there, Franky was helping Bartolomeo set up the drumkit, Ace was thoroughly avoiding eye contact as he changed the strings of his guitar, Luffy took a break from gushing over Law and his beautiful bass guitar to greet Sanji with a wave of his hand, while Law looked on the verge of strangling the young boy, Vivi was sitting next to Perona... Wait a minute. Perona?! The Gothic Lolita stood up, her delicate features warped with anger as she stomped across the room to slam her small fists into Sanji's chest.  
  
"Where the hell is Zoro?!" Perona roared, her high pitch long forgotten in a moment of pure rage.  
  
Sanji widened his eyes "What the fuck are you doing here?!" he asked, completely taken aback.  
  
"Don't you dare dodge my question! You're the reason why Zoro isn't here anymore! You and his stupid older brother!" Perona shouted at him, but pointed back at Ace, too.  
  
"C'mon babe, give him a break." Bonney sighed, her expression was that of someone who had endured Perona's yelling for way too long.  
  
"Like hell I am!" Perona insisted "How can you allow this? I don't wanna see Bartolomeo the idiot drumming in Zoro's place!"  
  
"Hey! I'm standing right here!" Bartolomeo growled, but immediately looked away and crouched down by the drums as Sanji met his gaze.  
  
"Perona, knock it off, your girlfriend is right." Kidd cut in, roughly.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows. Either he had forgotten about Perona and Bonney dating, or he hadn't gotten the memo at all. Beside the moment of confusion, his stomach twisted uncomfortably at those aggressive words. He didn't like that situation at all, and didn't want to be constantly reminded of what had happened, especially not right before band practice.

"I like having Barto play drums instead of Zoro as much as you do, to be honest. But Zoro decided to quit, and there isn't much I can do about it." Sanji said in a monotone.  
  
"Alright, can we knock it off?" Nami chimed in "We have work to do, so let's get to it."  
  
Perona's cheeks inflated with the air she was gonna use to scream at Sanji, but she just turned around and stormed back to sit on the bench next to Vivi. 

Sanji shook his head slowly and briefly as he watched Perona walk away from him, then returned to gaze into Nami's eyes with gratitude, she nodded a couple times without giving too much importance to what she did, then resumed her position behind the synth to finish setting it up properly for the evening.  
  
Sanji stood rooted to the spot he had found himself in, his eyes wandering around the room as he watched everyone being busy with whatever they were doing to get their gear ready for rehearsals, and he suddenly felt like he didn't belong there. He felt out of place and lonely, like a burden that his friends had only carried along to do him a favor even though they really didn't have a use for him.  
  
He was replaceable. That was the ugly truth. Just like in the blink of an eye they had replaced Zoro on the drums they could easily find someone to sing instead of him, to make their fame and fortune out of an idea that once belonged to two dreamer boys. They could have just ripped Murder Of Crows' very core, replacing vital parts of it that didn't work as they wanted with more obedient, fresher ones. He and Zoro didn't mean much more any longer... After all they had brought all of that to themselves, hadn't they?  
  
A heavy, large palm set on Sanji's shoulder, squeezing just as much as it needed to get the blond's attention. Sanji jumped slightly at the contact, then turned his head to see whose hand was it, and was somehow surprised to find Kidd standing next to him with a mild look of concern painted over his features.  
  
"What?" Sanji asked in a brisk tone.  
  
Kidd scowled down at the other man "Well, I was wondering if you were having a stroke or something..." he replied.  
  
Sanji scoffed "Please, I was just spacing out." he rolled his eyes "That never happen to you?" he answered, trying to control his breathing and agitation. The thoughts that had just been swarming through his head were already taking their toll on him, and it wasn't good.  
  
"Yeah, but I was just making sure you were still with us." Kidd shrugged, not fazed at all by Sanji's words. "Wanna try out Death March first? My band already knows it."  
  
Sanji swallowed thickly, he didn't know if he was ready to go right away, he hadn't even warmed up his voice and was still feeling too shaken to do anything.  
  
"Sure." Sanji answered with a single-shouldered shrug, lying through his teeth. He couldn't really decline, not while being a guest during their rehearsals, not when they had been so nice to them, he needed to swallow down whatever was eating him up. "Just... Don't expect me to be perfect, I still have to warm up my windpipes." he smirked slightly.  
  
Kidd snorted, a small head shake following right after "This isn't a contest, we're here to practice. Take it easy."  
  
The large hand from before was clapped down onto Sanji's shoulder, and he was forced to curl his lips into a smile. He could do that, he only had some parts of the song to sing out, not the entire thing, Sanji could definitely manage, even if his voice wasn't going to be perfect at the beginning.  
  
"Hey Sanji."  
  
The very well known and recognizable voice made Sanji's head turn right away as he saw Luffy approach him with a relaxed expression on his face.  
  
"Hey." Sanji kind of greeted him, this time, as he stuffed both hands inside the pocket of his coat he actually remembered he should have taken it off.  
  
"You doing okay?" Luffy asked in a casual tone.  
  
Sanji frowned his lips and shrugged his shoulders as he peeled the coat off of him "I guess," he answered simply "you?" he didn't know exactly where Luffy was going with those questions, because Sanji knew all too well how protective of Zoro he was, thought he hoped he was just genuinely concerned or at least interested in him.  
  
"I'm fine, yeah." Luffy nodded, then reached out a hand to give Sanji's arm a squeeze before grinning "Now go, show them what our singer is capable of."  
  
Sanji's eyebrows shot up, as he was utterly taken aback from such words. He couldn't understand why Luffy would say that, nor why he'd be so incredibly kind to him, especially after everything that had happened, and it nearly pushed him to the brink of tears.  
  
"You bet." was all that Sanji could manage to say in a somewhat strangled voice. Great, being emotional as fuck was definitely all he needed before singing, now he was sure to royally fuck up all his parts.  
  
Luffy responded to those two words with an even bigger grin, then moved to take a seat on the floor next to Usopp.  
  
Sanji kept still once again, as the people in the room all moved around to take their positions, and he was just standing there not really knowing what was going on with him and everyone else. He was way too sure about the fact that he was an emotional wreck, the smallest thing could shake him from his very core, one minute he wanted to die and the other he was about to tear up from how moving Luffy's words had been, and then a simple pat on his shoulder could infuriate him. By that point, he was clueless as to how he was supposed to deal with anything at all.  
  
"Blackleg, you really need to wake up, man." Law huffed in his direction "Are you gonna hang that coat or you plan on holding it all night?"  
  
Sanji snapped back to reality and glared over at Law, who was standing in the furthest corner of the room, bass in hands and ready to start, just like the rest of the band. The blond moved to hang the coat on the already full rack, he recognized Usopp's coat and hung it over it before cracking his neck and fingers, then finally made his way to the mic stand that had been set beside Kidd's.  
  
"Alright, on three." Bonney called out before slowly yet rhythmically counting up to three, and at the exact moment the music started.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A key slipped slowly into the lock, turning just enough for the heavy front door to click open, the warmth of the house contrasted right away with the harsh cold of the outside, making Zoro's breath puff up into a small cloud of steam. The voices of his parents reached his ears right away, he couldn't quite make out what they were talking about, yet, but no matter what... Zoro had missed hearing those voices.  
  
Again, Zoro could feel the bags underneath his eyes, they nearly felt heavy as the drummer massaged them slightly, right before stepping inside the house and swinging the door shut, trying to be as quiet as possible. Not that it mattered, of course, because as soon as the door was closed Shanks and Mihawk both appeared on the threshold of the kitchen, a glass of wine in hand and a stern look on their faces.  
  
"Hey." Zoro decided to be the one to break the ice, if he didn't want the men to both just stare him to death. He dropped his bag on the floor and moved to hang his coat on the rack.  
  
"I didn't fire you just because Luffy pleaded me not to." Mihawk started.  
  
There it was. Now Zoro really didn't feel like turning around. His back stiffened as he took his sweet time to check for whatever he might have forgotten into the pockets of the coat, refusing to directly face Mihawk.  
  
"I'll thank him, then." Zoro grumbled. That wasn't what he wanted to go back home to, but he would have lied if he said that he hadn't seen that coming.  
  
"Couldn't you at least have called?" Shanks sighed.  
  
Zoro turned around and ran his thick fingers through his green mohawk "I had told you that I needed a break. I just couldn't come home, nor call."  
  
"So you just decided to ignore your duties." Mihawk went on, sipping on his red wine.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "I'm sorry, alright? I never let you down, I've always worked my ass off and just this once I need a break. Am I allowed to get one?"  
  
Mihawk's yellow eyes pierced through Zoro's very soul in that very odd way that made him feel uncomfortably exposed, and kept quiet.  
  
Zoro hung his head in defeat, failing to find the right words to use to make his parents understand what he was going through and what he needed. He had lost his job at the gym, already, and didn't know if he was going to be able to get it back, but he was pretty sure Mihawk wouldn't have been happy to know about any of that.  
  
"Where the hell have you been? Were you safe, at least?" Shanks asked, dropping the stern father role to let his worry take over.  
  
Zoro lifted his head just enough to let Shanks know he was nodding, but didn't look up "I've been at Franky's, mostly." he explained, then picked up the bag from the floor "I'm gonna go upstairs, I..."  
  
"Are you planning on running away again?" Mihawk stepped in again.  
  
This time Zoro looked right into his father's eyes, eyebrows furrowing above upset dark eyes. "I can't stay in the same house as Ace. Not at the moment."  
  
"Well he's your brother, he lives here." Mihawk insisted.  
  
"He's my brother only when it's fitting for him!" Zoro suddenly spat out, hands balling into fists as anger took the best of him.  
  
Shanks stared at him like he had been slapped across the face, while Mihawk didn't even budge.  
  
"Didn't Luffy...?" Zoro stammered over his words, regretting what he had said because he knew that he had been harsh, but at the same time he couldn't really help himself. Ace had betrayed him like he never thought he could, and it hurt like hell. "I thought he told you something." Zoro looked down at a random spot on the floor.  
  
"Bits and pieces," Shanks started, shifting his weight from one leg to the other as his grip on the glass tightened "but he was too uncomfortable to actually say something."  
  
Zoro's jaw clenched as he sucked in a shaky breath "Look, I..." he started, not really wanting to go over the same old story once again, then a memory hit him... He had mentioned something to Shanks, he should have known! Why wasn't he saying anything?  
  
Zoro's head snapped in Shanks' direction, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared him down, much like what the red headed man used to do to people to scare them, and somehow it worked.  
  
"W-what?" Shanks asked, taken aback. Mihawk's eyes flew to him almost instantly. "What?!" Shanks repeated, this time getting even more nervous.  
  
"You know, Shanks..." Zoro said lowly.  
  
"You do?" the stoic expression on Mihawk's face turned into an irritated frown "You know and didn't tell me a word?"  
  
Well at least Mihawk's dangerous attention was focused on someone else rather than Zoro, which made the young man heave a small, relieved sigh.  
  
"Don't, not even for a second, assume that you're out of the woods." Mihawk's gaze was still fixed on his husband, but the threat was well aimed to his son.  
  
Zoro shut his eyes, his shoulders sagging. He couldn't really take that kind of pressure, not in the state he was constantly in lately.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it wouldn't have been fair," Shanks paused, then gestured towards Zoro "it's something he should have told you, or Ace." he shrugged "None of them did yet, and I didn't want to be the one to tell. It just wasn't right."  
  
By that time, Zoro wanted to scream into the night and let out all that pent up frustration that was making him feel like a damn time bomb.  
  
"What the fuck?" Mihawk spread his arms, and both Zoro and Shanks scowled at his reaction "So now I'm the only one in the house who didn't know that Ace slept with Sanji?!"  
  
Zoro's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and his jaw almost hit the floor. "What the–" he breathed out, bewildered.

What was going on?!  
  
Mihawk turned to Zoro, his trademark stoic expression back on his features "It was way too obvious, and I'm not stupid."  
  
"Well if you all knew, why the fuck did you put up all this scene?!" Zoro shouted, at last, the timer on the bomb was running quickly towards the fatidical 00:00.  
  
"Because you're supposed to tell us why on earth you'd just disappear like you did!" Mihawk growled lowly.  
  
Zoro shook his head and picked up the bag from the floor, moving to pace up the stairs, muttering profanities and curses all aimed to his parents. He didn't have time to play stupid games with them, and now he was seriously tired. He needed to be alone in his room and in the comfort of his bed if he wanted to finally feel better, he was probably going to leave at the ass crack of dawn to avoid meeting anyone, but it was something he was willing to do for a quiet night in his own bed.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was the middle of the night... But then again there was no telling it. Zoro had managed to fall asleep quickly after a brief but intense meditation session, and obviously lost track of time.  
  
With the only certainty being that it was night, Zoro's senses perceived the mattress dipping beside him, as something... or rather someone, crawled over to him. For a moment, Zoro's sleepy mind feared it might have been the result of one of those awful sleep paralysis nightmares he had heard about on TV, those in which your body is unable to move and you feel an evil entity crawl on top of you.  
  
But then again, his body could move, and before whatever entity tried to crawl over him, Zoro reached out an arm to stop them, accidentally (or maybe not?) hitting them in the face.  
  
"Owwww!! Zoro!!"  
  
The cry was muffled yet recognizable, even to Zoro's half asleep ear.  
  
"Luffy?" Zoro croaked out, his eyes unable to make out the figure sitting by him in the utter darkness.  
  
"Yeah, who else would it be?" Luffy whined.  
  
"Dunno... Krampus?" Zoro muttered out the first thing that curiously crossed his mind.  
  
"It's not even Christmas, what the hell are you talking about?" Luffy answered, like it was perfectly normal to assume that a demon would try to assault Zoro in the middle of the night during Christmas time.  
  
"Whatever..." Zoro sighed, relaxing back into the mattress, when the wind was suddenly knocked out of him. "Fuck!" he gasped, Luffy had clearly thrown himself at him.  
  
"I can't believe you're here! I'm so happy!" Luffy shouted right by Zoro's ear.  
  
"Don't yell, you idiot! It's late and I was just asleep!" Zoro groaned, trying to push his little brother away to no avail.  
  
Luffy wrapped his arms tightly around Zoro, burrowing his face in the crook of the drummer's neck, clearly refusing to let go. Zoro kept weakly struggling for a few more moments before his body went completely still, then a sigh left his lips and his arms went to loop around Luffy's lean figure. He had missed that brat more than he cared to admit, he loved him so much.  
  
"Is Ace...?" Zoro didn't even have to finish the sentence that Luffy was already shaking his head. "Oh..." Zoro furrowed his eyebrows slightly. Why wouldn't Ace be home, by that time? Well, not that Zoro actually knew what was the time.  
  
"He's..." Luffy began, tearing his face away from Zoro's warm skin. He was hesitating, his older brother could tell.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked, idly trying to look him in the eyes in the darkness of the room.  
  
"I don't know if I should tell you where he is..." Luffy admitted in an unsure tone.  
  
Zoro's jaw clenched and his entire body tensed up. Such a vague reply could only make Zoro think about one thing... "Is he with Sanji?" he asked, without dancing around it too much.  
  
Luffy snorted "Wha–?! No. They barely even speak to each other!"  
  
Zoro blinked, taken aback. So things were like that between Sanji and Ace? Zoro didn't know whether he should have been surprised or not.

"Ah..."  
  
"You see... Ace is...." Luffy started, but still didn't have the courage to go on.  
  
"Is what?" Zoro pressed.  
  
Luffy huffed, letting go of Zoro and sitting up on the bed "He's with Smoker, okay? They're dating, now."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened. Had he seriously heard correctly? Ace and Smoker? They were a thing, now?  
  
"What?" Zoro asked again, but his voice was much softer and higher in tone. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.  
  
"They're together." Luffy rephrased to make it clearer.  
  
Zoro didn't say anything. His brain was still trying to compute everything. After everything that had happened, after Zoro lost all his trust in his brother for having slept with the person he loved, Ace had simply gone and got the man he wanted. That was fucked up on so many different levels and there was no way Zoro could wrap his head around it.  
  
"Zoro?" Luffy called out unsure, after a few too many moments of silence.  
  
"I'm gonna go back to sleep." Zoro muttered, flipping on his side and giving his back to Luffy.  
  
"I knew you'd be upset, that's why I didn't wanna tell you." Luffy sighed, and Zoro felt his brother's weight shift as he lied down.  
  
"I was gonna find out, eventually." Zoro replied with a feeble shrug.

He didn't want to talk anymore, he had done such a good job meditation wise, emptying his mind of everything toxic and soundly going to sleep, and now everything had gone down the drain. He just wanted to sleep for the next three years, at least.  
  
There was another pause, another few moments of quiet, then Luffy's voice came back, this time weak and sad.  
  
"Are you mad at me?"  
  
Zoro shut his eyes and exhaled a long breath through his nostrils, the last thing he wanted was to make Luffy feel guilty about anything that was happening.  
  
"Why would I be? You did nothing wrong, Luffy." Zoro said calmly, but didn't move from his position.  
  
"Are you gonna leave again, tomorrow?" Luffy went on, with the same pained tone.  
  
Zoro wanted to scream into the pillow, instead he kept answering just as gently "I guess so, yeah." then after chewing down on his bottom lip for a few seconds he added "I'm sorry to put you through this, baby brother."  
  
He didn't hear anything in response, but a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and a forehead was pressed against the nape of his neck. Zoro's hand went automatically to rest upon Luffy's and squeezed it firmly.  
  
"I want you to stay with me." Luffy breathed out.  
  
"I can't... Not for a while, you know it. I'm sorry." Zoro answered, feeling his throat knotting up. Luffy was truly breaking his heart, he felt awful.  
  
"I love you, Zoro."  
  
"So do I."

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost three months after (I apparently can't seem to take less time to update) here we finally are again with an update! I've been on a writing roll for the past couple weeks and completed everything sooner than I thought I would. I still cannot make promises for when the next chapter will come out, I can just tell you that I'm gonna try. Just like I said in the other chapter, I'm working more regularly now and I have less free time, but it's a good thing because I'm making money and when I do have some spare time I try to motivate myself to write as much as I can. Now that I'm still on a roll I'll try and get as much of chapter 19 done as possible. 
> 
> I wanna thank every single one of you for the patience, for remembering me (I hope you do remember me still, haha!) and for sending me all kinds of beautiful messages and reviews! You're literally the only thing that has kept me going these past months, because at one point I was really close to giving up – WHICH I WON'T DO, DON'T WORRY, I'LL SEE THIS STORY THROUGH TO THE END! – and your love for my work was really helpful! A special thank you goes always to my wonderful girlfriend, my personal adviser and beta, who always helps me stir the story in the right direction.
> 
> Last but not least, I wanted to remind you that if you wanna know more about whether I'm having a hard time with writing, or some updates on how writing is going I highly suggest you visit my tumblr, where you can also drop me a message marimoyaro.tumblr.com
> 
> Now, enough useless talk, enjoy!

"It works now, for real." Ace announced as he placed a wrench on the small round kitchen table and took a seat across from the silver haired man that was staring at him.  
  
Smoker removed the cigar from between his teeth, his eyebrow shooting up in a quizzical manner – the man had obviously had enough of Ace just pretending to fix his boiler, he needed his hot water, already.  
  
"Are you _really_ sure?"  
  
Ace snorted "Yeah, I am." he confirmed with a nod of the head "Do I get to drink that coffee, now?" he asked as he pointed at the mug sitting in the middle of the table.  
  
Smoker nodded and took a sip from his own mug. Ace kept quiet himself as he reached out for the cup and brought the steaming beverage to his lips, it was nearly scorching over his tongue and as it poured down his throat but he didn't mind. He had always had a strange love for scalding drinks and food, just like his odd fascination with fire and flames.  
  
"So..." Smoker started, eyes focused on the dark coffee in his hands "How'd it go?" there was no actual need to be more specific on what he was taking about, because Ace perfectly know what the topic was.  
  
The brunet placed the mug down, his fingers never leaving its smooth surface, he didn't really want to vent or generally speak about that evening's rehearsals, but Smoker was the only person he could talk to without receiving an hint of judgment in his tone or gaze in response.  
  
"Dunno. Alright I guess?" Ace shrugged, his thumb moving upwards and swiping a droplet of coffee that was rolling down the blue mug in his hands "I can barely look at Sanji, let alone speak to him... The others tiptoe around me as if I'm gonna shatter into pieces at any given moment."  
  
Smoker nodded his head slowly, then placed the cigar back between his teeth to take a long, deep drag of smoke before saying anything. "Your brothers?"  
  
Ace's tongue peeked through his lips, a hollow smile curving them as he shook his head "Luffy is sad. Constantly. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't like not having Zoro around, and he hates that his older brothers aren't even seeing each other." he pressed his fingertips against the mug, almost as if he intended to scratch it.  
  
Smoker exhaled through his nostrils, a solemn expression painting his features as he stared at his lover "Alright, but how do _you_ feel?"  
  
Ace huffed, shaking his head as he flashed Smoker the saddest of smiles "Does it matter?" he lifted up the mug again "I opened a fucking hellmouth." he added before hiding his face behind the mug.  
  
Smoker lifted an eyebrow "It does, actually. You're a person, too. And it's not like you molested Sanji, you guys did it together."  
  
Ace set the mug on the tabletop, eyes glued to the plastic tablecloth as he ran his long, thin finger through his black and faded red hair "Not entirely conscious, too." he kind of mumbled.  
  
"I know..." Smoker hummed around the cigar, averting his gaze from Ace as well.  
  
Ace huffed, tipping his head back for a moment "Can you please not turn all weird on me, like you always do when speaking about this?"  
  
Smoker shrugged a shoulder "I'm not being weird, I'm always the same." he retorted as his eyes went back to stare into Ace's.  
  
"Not to mention that you're the one who brought it up, this time." Ace's thick black eyebrows shot upwards as he tried to make a point.  
  
Smoker snorted "It's all we talk about, really," he said, but then the hurt expression on Ace's face made him add with a sigh "and I accept that, 'cause it's a big deal for you."  
  
Ace's lips curled and a guilty expression warped his features "I'm sorry..." he sighed, shaking his head "I don't want to monopolize our time together, I never give you enough attention."  
  
Smoker took a large sip of coffee, taking his sweet time and leaving Ace hanging, not giving him an actual answer and making him even more nervous.  
  
Ace groaned, hanging his head in defeat "Point made! I'm a selfish asshole!"  
  
Smoker snorted into the mug and shook his head before placing it back down "Kinda," he smirked "but I knew what I was getting into." he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Ace's eyes flew back on Smoker and his jaw dropped at such words "You're one rude as fuck cop." he commented, offended.  
  
Smoker's eyebrow lifted "I can have you arrested." he threatened.  
  
"Ah, really?" Ace's eyebrows shot upwards at the threat "Is that how it is, now?"  
  
Smoker tipped his chin in the direction of the counter, where his handcuffs rested "I can do it at any moment."  
  
Ace bit his lower lip "You hear about unreasonable police brutality way too often..." he slowly shook his head as he stared at the handcuffs, his brain connecting them to a couple nights ahead when he had asked Smoker to cuff him to the headboard of the bed, and as the thought graced his mind a shiver ran up his spine.  
  
"You should talk to them."  
  
"What?" Ace's voice sounded strangled, and his expression was bewildered as he scowled over at his boyfriend.  
  
Smoker heaved out a long sigh "I said... You should talk to them. Either Zoro or Sanji, or both... You can't go on like this forever."  
  
Ace kept staring at Smoker without really understanding what he was on about, until his brain came down from the sex drive high.  
  
"Oh..." Ace blinked "Yeah, I... You're right, I know." he looked down at the table again, his half erection was still pressing against his black jeans, but his mind was back to the state of helplessness from earlier.  
  
"I'm gonna go to bed, now," Smoker announced, suddenly changing topic again. He pushed his chair back and stood up, he jerked his head in the direction of the bedroom. "You comin'?"  
  
Ace's big, black eyes looked up at Smoker in confusion, but he nodded and stood up himself. He was just about to take a step in Smoker's direction when his eyes fell back to the handcuffs on the counter "You still wanna arrest me?" he asked, trying to sound casual.  
  
Smoker shrugged a shoulder "Well, you have kind of insulted a policeman."  
  
Ace's lips curved in a mischievous grin as he grabbed the cuffs and followed Smoker to the bedroom. Maybe he didn't deserve the happiness, but he wanted it anyway.

 

 

 

 

* * * 

 

 

Waking up in a sweaty pile of limbs might sound sexy, it might evoke images of lust, love and passion, of having had a great night... But that was really _not_ Zoro's case. Luffy hadn't shifted away from him, hadn't unraveled his arms from around his brother's body, and it sounded crazy just to think that because sleeping with Luffy had often resulted in being pushed out of bed by the violence and frequency of his movements.  
  
Zoro was tangled in his little brother's embrace, sweaty and sore, and not only he needed to go to the bathroom, he had to get up to leave the house buy had no idea how to do that without waking Luffy up and cause some sort of commotion. Hadn't Zoro been blessed with the gift of heavy as hell sleep, he probably wouldn't have even dozed off, in such state.  
  
He tried to turn his head to peek over his shoulder as much as the uncomfortable position allowed him to, almost to no avail, to check if Luffy was well in his deepest phase of sleep so that he could wriggle out of his grasp with little to no repercussions.  
  
The brunet looked peaceful, a small smile curved his thin lips and his boyish features were more relaxed than ever, it was endearing, really, and Zoro felt guilt surfacing ever so slowly at the thought of having to leave his baby brother again, to having to disappoint him again. That really wasn't the time for such thoughts, so Zoro quickly shook them off and went to quietly and gently peel Luffy's arms off of him. Zoro knew he could count on Luffy being a as much of a heavy sleeper as himself, and he knew it was unlikely that he could wake him up while being so careful.  
  
"What're y' doin'?" Luffy mumbled, his grasp clutching more firmly than before, leaving Zoro to gasp both in surprise and lack of oxygen.  
  
"L-Luffy!" Zoro croaked out, his hand still clasped around the boy's wrist "I was... I was just... I need the bathroom." he whispered into the darkness, unable to look back at his brother.  
  
"No, stay." Luffy moaned, pressing his face into the nape of Zoro's neck.  
  
"Shit..." Zoro murmured, his eyes screwing shut. "C'mon, I'll just piss in the bed." Zoro went on, trying to convince Luffy to let go.  
  
"Whatev'r." Luffy grumbled, clearly half asleep.  
  
Zoro sighed. He couldn't argue with someone who was asleep, and he was definitely worrying too much about the consequences of just getting off the bed and at least going to the bathroom. None too gently anymore, Zoro pushed Luffy's arm away and quickly scrambled out of bed only to see Luffy groan some more, hog all the covers and hold the pillow tight against his chest. He was still sound asleep.  
  
Zoro shook his head at the image, mentally cursing at himself for being so stupid to think that Luffy would put up a fight while he could just stay asleep in the warm comfort of a bed. He shot one last glance at his little brother, a crooked smirk hanging from his lips, and then finally took off in the direction of the bathroom.  
  
As Zoro walked down the hallway, he found it increasingly stupid that he should be acting like a burglar in his own house, but if he wanted to leave undisturbed he had to put up that whole ridiculous act. He padded his way to the bathroom, pushed the door open, making a face when it grotesquely creaked underneath his touch, and managed to shut and lock it behind his back as quiet as he could.  
  
He needed a shower and obviously a change of clothes, but that wasn't the exact perfect time to do so, he was just gonna take one at Franky's, hopefully without giving him an heart attack when he was going to magically appear in his house at ridiculous o'clock in the morning. Well, he had given him a spare key for a reason, after all... He should have been ready for Zoro to barge in at whatever time.  
  
Zoro rinsed his face and relieved himself, limiting the noises as much as he could and still acting like a damn thief, but when he stepped out of the bathroom all his efforts had clearly been for nothing.  
  
"Zoro, what–?" Ace winced, looking as though he had seen a ghost.  
  
"You gotta be kidding me." Zoro groaned under his breath, hanging his head in defeat.  
  
Ace was standing right in front of him, all leather jacket and ruffled hair, with the reddened cheeks of someone who was as uncomfortable as him for having been caught sneaking... Well, _in_ , instead of out.  
  
"I didn't think you'd be..." Ace's eyebrows drew together, his stance turning suddenly defensive.  
  
"Neither I thought I was gonna run into you." Zoro replied, dry. Seriously, Ace was the last person he expected to be caught by, not to mention the person he least wanted to actually meet. "I was just leaving." he added as he tried to walk past his older brother, but a hand was clapped on his shoulder and made him stop.  
  
"Wait a moment."  
  
Zoro didn't want to stop but the greatest part of his conscience rooted him to the spot. His lashes fluttered shut, his jaw clenched, he didn't want to hear anything yet he knew he couldn't hide or run away from his family forever.  
  
"What do you want?" Zoro asked, though his tone was far from sounding like a question.  
  
"I think it's time you finally let me speak to you," Ace said, at last "again." he added with a sigh.  
  
Zoro didn't turn, but his eyes opened to stare at the door across from him, his parents' room. "I think you spoke to me just enough." he answered, stubborn.  
  
"Stop doing this! Stop shutting me out!" Ace went on, raising his voice in the process.  
  
Zoro quickly turned around, nostrils flared as he hushed his older brother and stepped ahead to grasp his wrist and pull him roughly into Ace's own room. He couldn't avoid that talk forever, Zoro was well aware of that, but they definitely weren't going to have it in the middle of the hallway, where everyone could hear and walk in on them.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you, shouting like that?" Zoro growled lowly, fisting at the collar of Ace's jacket.  
  
"Got what I wanted, didn't I?" Ace smirked, and chuckled softly when Zoro pushed him away.  
  
"I'm tired of all this." Zoro scrubbed a hand down his face.  
  
"Well, so am I. I'm tired of being treated like I murdered someone an–"  
  
Zoro huffed "You murdered my damn trust in you."  
  
Ace rolled his eyes and peeled the leather jacket off of his shoulders "I have no idea how many times I'm gonna have to tell you that the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, or betray your trust." he shook his head, then sat down to slip off his heavy boots.  
  
Zoro spread his arms "Well you did. And we're having the exact same conversation we had the last time we spoke."

Ace's features relaxed in what one could only call a resigned expression, his shoulders hunching as he tilted his head to the side "Well, last time you told me I've never really been your brother, so you still need to say _that_ if we wanna do a perfect replay."  
  
Zoro's lips curled and his jaw stiffened. He knew he had told Ace something incredibly ugly, but he really had believed those words when he'd spilled them. Now? Now he wasn't exactly sure if he believed them or not.  
  
"I wouldn't still be so angry if I didn't think you were my brother." Zoro said in a softer tone than earlier, his eyes dropping momentarily to the floor in the process.  
  
Ace shook his head "You're angry because I walked in on you wanting to be alone. You were probably about to run away again, weren't you?"  
  
Zoro frowned, he didn't like the tone that Ace was using, he didn't have the right to sound so pissed. "Are you accusing me of being a coward?"  
  
Ace shrugged, raising his hands to somehow demonstrate his innocence "I didn't say anything, you're putting words in my mouth."  
  
By that point Zoro didn't want to have anything to do with Ace anymore. That certainly wasn't the way he had pictured this conversation to go... Not that he had really had a picture in mind of how it should have actually been.  
  
"Fuck off, Ace. You're not making yourself look any better at a time like this." Zoro said to end the absurd conversation, he wasn't going to stay in that room another moment, just as much as he didn't want to stay in that house any longer.  
  
Ace groaned, throwing his head back and clapping both hands on each of Zoro's shoulders. "You have no idea what's it been like for me, lately! Barely anyone fucking speaks to me, Sanji hates me like I've jumped him or... Or like I made him fight with you! Like it's all my fault if things are this fucking shitty at the moment!" he bursted, unable to contain all the pent up frustration, his eyes threatening to spill tears in a matter of seconds.  
  
Zoro stared at him bewildered. He wasn't expecting such a reaction, not after the irritating exchange they had just had.  
  
Ace shook his head slowly, his gaze dropping to the floor as he went on speaking again "I can't do this anymore." he lifted his eyes back on Zoro "Luffy looks so serious almost all the time, he doesn't smile like he always does. Our folks are constantly in weird moods, I have to tiptoe around them... You're not here, and don't wanna know about me." he shrugged, unable to add anything else.  
  
Zoro did feel his heart shrink in his chest and his throat tightening, he didn't like what was happening lately, everything was a mess. Seeing Ace so devastated reminded him of the night he confessed, but not quite... He was so tired, he was exhausted, almost as much as Zoro was. Yet Ace still had the one thing that mattered and didn't make him feel a complete waste of space.  
  
"You got your man, at least." Zoro replied, his tone as dry as sand, not betraying any other thoughts.  
  
Ace hesitated, taken aback by Zoro's words, but spoke up anyway "He's the only thing I have left." he said softly, in some kind of a pleading tone.  
  
Zoro huffed, shaking his head "People still love you, it's the situation that they truly hate. The hurt, the change, the prospective of things never going to be the same again." he shrugged "I know Luffy loves you, just like I know that Shanks and Mihawk love you."  
  
"But do you?" Ace asked way too promptly, almost as if he had read Zoro's mind before words had actually left his lips.  
  
Zoro licked his lips, this time his gaze was the one to fall to his own boots "How can you even doubt that? Of course I do."  
  
"Then why? Why are you doing all this to me?" Ace cried out, probably a little too loud to keep the conversation as private as it should have.  
  
Zoro's eyes quickly came to rest upon Ace's again, his eyebrows knitted together in consternation. "Are you kidding me?" he uttered, puzzled didn't even come close to describing how he felt "I should be the one to ask why you did to me what you did! You stabbed me in the back, you had sex with the one person I've been in love for all my life!" he didn't mean to start shaking, but rage was slowly taking the best of him.  
  
"I didn't do it on purpose! I never would have!" Ace retorted, springing up to his feet "How many times do I need to tell you that I was drunk as fuck? I even called him Smoker!" he growled, towering over Zoro.  
  
Zoro would have wanted to say something in return but he simply couldn't, yes Ace had added a new detail to the story, a quite important one, and at the moment he had no idea about what he should have said.  
  
"Also, Zoro... I'm not trying to justify myself by saying this, but... Fuck," Ace shook his head "You can't expect Sanji to just fall into your arms without filling the guy in about your _undying_ love for him."  
  
Zoro stared at Ace as if his words had burnt right through his skin. He couldn't believe the words he had just heard, not because he knew they were a fact but because Zoro was seriously starting to think that Ace was just trying to piss him off.  
  
"You seriously don't get it, do you?" Zoro started "When have I ever said that I expected Sanji to fall for me unconditionally? Just tell me when have your ever heard such words coming out of my mouth." his tone was the precise definition of the calm before the storm, and by the look on his face, Ace knew it was too.  
  
"No, I... You're right, jus–"  
  
"Never. I've never been possessive, I've never done anything to hold Sanji back from living his life the way he wanted," he took a step ahead, large enough for him to come even closer to his brother "but to know that _my_ brother, knowing about my feelings, having told me in the past that Sanji was completely off your radar, fucked him under the same roof as me... Well, that ticks me off. Just a little." he roared, making Ace flinch slightly.  
  
"Zoro... I know, I got carried away, I didn't mean..." Ace tried to explain.  
  
"Look. It's the middle of the night and I'm done yelling. Go to sleep, I gotta get out of here." Zoro said simply, completely unwilling to keep on such a conversation.  
  
"I'm sorry, Zoro, really. Don't go again, just stay here at home."

Zoro scrubbed a hand down his face, he took a deep breath as he looked at his brother again, and his pleading expression.  
  
"Please," Ace repeated for God knows how many times, now "I shouldn't have said those things, but you gotta believe that I never meant to hurt you."

"Oh, there's so many things you shouldn't have done." Zoro huffed, sarcastic.

He shook his head, ready to turn around and leave the room, but Ace grabbed his wrist.

"Zoro, c'mon! I spoke out of anger, I shouldn't have!" Ace screwed his eyes shut, hanging his head as he begged his brother.

"You're making a fool of yourself." Zoro said calmly, his trademark frown appearing on his brow.

"I don't care!" Ace said as he opened his eyes and stared into Zoro's very soul "I don't care if I can get my brother back. Fuck pride, I need you back. _Luffy_ needs you back." Ace bit his lower lip as he shook his head slowly "We're losing it completely here, man..." he loosened the grip on Zoro's wrist, leaving his arm to drop and hang back along his side, a clear sign of surrender.

Zoro's brow relaxed at those words, and at that point he couldn't argue anymore.  
  
It was time. No matter how much Ace could trigger his anger with his mindless words, it was time to face life once again instead of avoiding everyone. He couldn't keep on pushing Ace away, it was clear that he hadn't done it on purpose and that everything that seemed so obvious really wasn't. Ace was in love with someone, someone who _wasn't_ Sanji and Zoro knew it was true, he could read it in Ace's eyes and he had known it since when Ace had confessed his feelings for the man the very first time. Rage can blind you, and mixing it together with jealousy, they can cloud your judgment and drive you insane, but now it was time to stop and lower the weapons, because the enemy wasn't in the room... If there really was an enemy at all.  
  
Zoro shook his head slowly, his throat feeling dry and tightened as he tried to say a firm "Alright." that actually came out strangled.  
  
Ace's eyebrows shot up in utter surprise "A-alright?" he repeated, oblivious to the meaning of such word at the moment.  
  
Zoro groaned lowly "Alright. I'm staying." he added, to make the concept clear.  
  
A small cry of relief escaped Ace's lips as his face lit up with happiness "Are you, really?!"  
  
Zoro nodded, keeping quiet. He couldn't bear to break Luffy's heart again, anyway, yet he knew that being home again meant that Mihawk was going to kick his ass until he went back to teach Kendo at the dojo, and he really didn't feel like starting again, yet.  
  
"So, am I forgiven?" Ace asked, his eyes scrutinizing every single inch of his brother's face to read the smallest expression it could betray.  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "Yeah." then knowing what could have been the consequential request after accepting to come back home, he raised a hand "Do not ask me to join the band again, because I won't. That chapter is over."  
  
Ace's expression turned from utterly relieved to slightly hurt but he nodded anyway "I get it, I know. I wouldn't ask you that."  
  
Zoro nodded as well "Good. Can we sleep, now?"  
  
"Just one more thing."  
  
"What?"  
  
Ace didn't say anything and just launched himself at Zoro in what could only be described as a football player kind of tackle, and both brothers flew few feet back before crashing to the ground as Ace held Zoro in an impossibly tight embrace.  
  
"Ow! You're a fucking idiot!" Zoro growled as he tried to push Ace off of him "Get off!"  
  
"Like fuck I am!" Ace laughed as he planted a hard kiss to Zoro's cheek.  
  
"For fuck's sake, man!" Zoro kept groaning and trying to move Ace away from him, but his brother's laughter was so infectious that he couldn't help but start laughing himself.  
  
They didn't know for how long they had actually lied on the floor in hysterics, even after Ace had finally rolled off of Zoro, they had just lied one next to the other laughing as they stared up at the ceiling. For both brothers it felt like they hadn't laughed in a lifetime, anyway, and the best thing to do at the moment seemed to not stop doing so for a while.  
  
"So... You really are in love with that geezer boyfriend of yours, huh?" Zoro broke the silence after the laughter had finally simmered down.  
  
Ace groaned and slapped Zoro's arm with the back of his hand "He's not that old, knock it off!"  
  
Zoro snorted in order to bite back another laugh, but Ace slapped him again.  
  
"He's a great guy who cares about me a stupid amount," Ace went on as he stared at the dark ceiling as if he was intensely thinking his feelings through "I do. I just... I really, really love him. And I'm pretty sure he really loves me, too."  
  
Zoro hummed in response. He didn't want to be handled with care by his brother, nor pitied for the fact that he wasn't as lucky as Ace, but he really wasn't thinking about that at the moment, Zoro had been genuinely interested in knowing more about Smoker. Zoro had thought it was horribly unfair that Ace got exactly what he wanted after what had happened, but in the end Zoro knew that Ace was no liar and that, at least on his part, he never meant Zoro any harm.  
  
"You can't avoid him forever, you know that right?" Ace broke the silence that had fallen upon them.  
  
"Watch me." Zoro replied, dry.  
  
"Come on... He's as destroyed as you are." Ace kept pressing.  
  
Zoro huffed "Yeah, right. He told me he purposely did this to hurt me. I have no intentions to see him again."  
  
Ace kept quiet, probably unable to find anything to say in return, and Zoro took it as a cue to finally leave the room and go back to bed. He stood back up on his feet and cracked his neck.  
  
"Zoro?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I'm really happy you're back home."  
  
Zoro looked down at his brother and smirked softly before exiting the room. He still wasn't sure about how he felt, happiness was still something he didn't have, but being home and having made up with at least Ace certainly made him feel better.  
  
Zoro pushed the door of his bedroom open, revealing Luffy being spread-eagled on the entire bed as he snored softly. Zoro sighed, he truly was back home.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Rhythmical thuds and chatting in the background didn't manage to cover up the thoughts swarming through Sanji's chaotic mind, he had spent an entire night thinking this over and he had come to the conclusion that he needed to add one very specific song to the setlist for their upcoming show.  
  
He exhaled the last drag of cigarette through his parted lips, crushed the butt of the cancer stick with the steel heel of his boot on the floor of Franky's garage, and sucked in a deep breath. He could do this, no matter how much Nami had tried to make decisions as much as Zoro had allowed her to, Sanji was still the one in charge, he hadn't lost his mind and grief and guilt weren't a good excuse for being overthrown.  
  
"Listen up..." Sanji started, his voice sounded kinda groggy but it was steady and assertive.  
  
Bartolomeo stopped beating on the tom right away, and those who were chatting went quiet as they aimed their attention at Sanji. The reaction made him feel definitely a lot better about himself, but he didn't let his facial expressions betray anything as he gave a curt nod and went on speaking.  
  
"I know it's kinda sudden, and the concert is only a couple days away, but I also know how good you all are," Sanji looked at everyone in the room but Barto and Ace – he could barely stand being in the same room as them but there was no helping it "so I'm asking you to change one of the Sonata Arctica covers. Just one."  
  
"Wait, which one?" Nami asked, her eyebrows furrowing in question.  
  
Sanji ran his tongue between his lips, the tongue stud clicking ever so lightly against the lip ring in the process "I think we should drop _The Wolves Die Young_ and switch with _Shamandalie_." he replied, trying to sound as casual as he could, even if his gaze dropped inevitably to the floor.  
  
"Do you really wanna drop one of the fans favorites for a ballad?!" Luffy chimed in, almost offended by the idea.  
  
"We never even tried it, I don't know if we have enough time to do so." Ace spoke, leaving Sanji slightly bewildered – he wasn't expecting Ace to actually speak directly to him.  
  
"It's the best Sonata Arctica ballad, and you all know it." Sanji pressed, ignoring Ace.  
  
Nami's eyes were boring a hole through his skull, Sanji could practically feel her eyes on him, so he turned his eyes slightly in her direction and found her staring at him just as intensely as he had thought, with an unreadable expression on her face. Sanji's eyebrows knitted together... She couldn't have already read through him, could she?  
  
"I think we should do it." Nami spoke over the quiet arguing, and Sanji stiffened.

She knew.

"Shamandalie is probably the most beautiful ballad from Sonata Arctica, and fans will love it." she added when everyone had finally turned to look at her.  
  
Sanji worried his lower lip between his teeth as he listened, Nami had never, not even for a moment, moved her eyes from his and Sanji felt so exposed that for a moment he feared he was actually naked.  
  
"I know the drum part of the song, already." Bartolomeo said shyly.  
  
Sanji's eyes flew to him. He had to got to be kidding.  
  
"You do?" Nami asked before anyone else could speak up.  
  
"Y-yeah... I like Sonata Arctica, so I learned a few of their songs on my own." Barto explained with a shrug.  
  
"That's good, isn't it?" Nami frowned her lips as she went back to look at Sanji.  
  
Sanji was literally struggling to keep from lashing out on Bartolomeo and how much his sole existence bothered him.

"One less person who's gotta learn it." Sanji said, dry.  
  
"Well, what the hell," Ace shrugged a shoulder "I'll learn it just fine, too."  
  
Luffy gave a nod "Sure, shouldn't be a problem." he said with a smile and giving Sanji a thumbs up.  
  
"Well... I gotta admit I love the song, so I already know it, too. Also I'm very good at what I do, so it wouldn't be a problem." Nami said in a casual tone as she shrugged a shoulder and pulled her long, orange hair up into a messy bun.  
  
Sanji stood in his place dumbfounded, and in a kind of numb state of both mind and body. Did that just happen? Everyone was so accommodating and nice... It felt way too weird and unnatural. He didn't like it.  
  
"O... Kay, then?" Sanji said after a few moments of silence. He kept standing rooted to the spot, unable to actually move his long legs and get to his position behind the mic stand. It felt like haze had swirled up around him in a suffocating manner, clouding his brain and eyes as if he had been pushed into a trance, barely aware of his surroundings.  
  
"Sanji?"  
  
He heard after a while, Nami's hand coiling around his wrist and squeezing just enough to pull him back to reality. Sanji turned his head to her, the veil of void and unconsciousness finally dropping from his blue eyes.  
  
"Can we start practicing, or did you have a stroke?" Nami continued in a sarcastic, yet gentle tone.  
  
Sanji heard small laughter coming from his friends, but it wasn't as irritating or mean as he thought it would be.  
  
"Why are you guys being like this?" Sanji asked, his face warping in a weirded out expression as he stared into Nami's eyes.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Nami's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  
  
"Yeah, must be a stroke of some sort." Usopp echoed from one of the benches, but Sanji didn't turn to glare at him.  
  
He took a general glance around the garage, everyone looked at least some different degrees of puzzled and it irked him to no end. Were they playing dumb, or something?  
  
"Nevermind..." Sanji sighed out as he moved to the mic stand "Let's just do this thing."  
  
"About time." Luffy commented with a grin as he cracked his fingers, getting ready to strum on his bass guitar.

Since the drummer and the keyboardist knew what to do, Sanji knew that the rest of the band could follow even without knowing the song wholly, they could work around it, follow the melody, because they all knew the song more or less and even though they were going to have to study the sheet properly at home, they could still practice it once.  
  
Sanji felt the song brew into the pit of his stomach like a storm, it rumbled into his rib cage with the eagerness of a caged animal ready to burst out. He had played out this moment for the entire night and now all he wanted to do was scream at the top of his lungs, letting everything out, even if it was only a mere evening at practice. Singing was the best therapy for Sanji, and he had been ignoring this detail for too long, now.  
  
The song opened with a piano section that Nami remembered and played by heart, maybe not perfectly but it was enough to cue the rest of the instruments that came to life all together, giving Sanji the right time to step in with his powerful, yet emotion imbued voice. The lyrics were too close to his heart and felt so personal that he couldn't keep a straight line of singing, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
_"In good old times, remember my friend  
Moon was so bright and so close to us, sometimes  
  
We were still blind and deaf, what a bliss?  
Painting the world of our own, for our own eyes, now?  
  
Can we ever have what we had then?  
Friendship unbreakable  
Love means nothing to me  
Without blinking an eye  
I'd fade, if so needed,  
All those moments with you  
If I had you beside me  
  
One cloudy day we both lost the game?  
We drifted so far and away  
  
Nothing is quite as cruel as a child  
Sometimes we break the unbreakable, sometimes?  
  
And we'll never have what we had then  
Friendship unbroken  
Love means nothing to me  
Without blinking an eye  
I'd fade, if so needed,  
All those moments with you  
If I had you beside me now"_  
  
Sanji had some time to breathe, his hands both clasping around the microphone as he closed his eyes, forehead resting against his own fists as he listened to his friends play their instrumental part, he gathered as much oxygen as he could, even if relaxing his diaphragm wasn't the easiest thing to do as his cue to scream out the next stanza approached.  
  
_"I was unable to cope with what you said  
Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind  
Child that I was, could not see the reason  
Feelings I had were but sham and a lie?"_  
  
Sanji's throat hurt slightly, but he didn't complain, he turned his head away from the microphone and cleared his throat in time to go on singing the rest of the song.  
  
_"I have never forgotten your smile  
Your eyes, oh, Shamandalie  
  
Time went by, many memories died  
I'm writing this down to ease my pain  
  
You saw us always clearer than me  
How we were never meant to be  
Love denied meant the friendship would die  
Now I have seen the light  
These memories make me cry  
  
Can I ever have what I had then?  
Friendship unbroken  
Love means nothing to me  
Without blinking an eye  
I'd fade, if so needed,  
All those moments with you  
And see the world with my wide open eyes  
  
Friendship got broken  
There's no other for me  
Like the one of my childhood days  
Can you forgive me?  
The love got better off me,  
On that day back in old times"_  
  
Once the song ended, Usopp, Franky and Vivi were all standing and applauding as if they had witnessed the greatest performance off all times, their eyes glistening all along.  
  
"God, Sanji... That was unbelievable." Vivi said, slightly choked up as she shook her head and approached Sanji to pull him into a tight hug.  
  
Sanji remained frozen into the hug, puzzled. She had never hugged him like that and he seriously had no idea why she would do that, until he realized that he had been crying throughout the entire second half of the song.  
  
"I-I'm... Fine, Vivi, my dearest. Thank you." Sanji nodded and pulled back from the hug "Just gotta..." he gestured towards the door that led to Franky's house.  
  
"You were amazing, bro! It was _so_ emotional!" Franky barked out as he wiped off his own fat tears.  
  
Sanji stared at him terrified, and avoided further eye contact with anyone else as he escaped the garage and made his way to the bathroom to wash his face, hurrying up the small stairs.  
  
Once he locked himself into the small room he stared at his reflection in the mirror, Sanji was utterly horrified at the thought of having cried in front of everyone while singing, and now he was afraid he could have ended up doing just the same during the actual concert. He quickly opened the faucet to splash a ridiculous amount of water on his face, way too many times, then turned off the water and sat down on the lip of the tub that was right behind him.  
  
He took in several deep breaths in order to calm down, he wasn't feeling an actual panic attack surging but what he had just gone through was still a bit overwhelming. Sanji knew he was going to get emotional while singing Shamandalie, he had mentally pinned the lyrics to Zoro and the entire situation he had pushed himself in, but he didn't think he could start crying while singing it out loud during rehearsal. That wasn't good, the song affected him more than he'd thought.  
  
Sanji sat there for what had seemed like a handful of moments, but really he had no idea of how long he'd been locked inside the bathroom, until a knock on the door startled him awake from his trance.  
  
"Sanji, are you still alive?" Nami's voice filtered through the wood of the door.  
  
Fuck. Why did it have to be her of all people? The last thing Sanji wanted was for Nami to see him in that pathetic state.  
  
"I'm fine, Nami, thanks for your concern. I'll be out soon, really." Sanji tried to get her to leave him be, even though he knew how stubborn she was.  
  
"Are you politely telling me to fuck off?" Nami went on, and Sanji could hear the deadly glare burn a hole through the door.  
  
"I'm not..." Sanji sighed, hanging his head. Was it really hard for people to understand that he needed some space every once in a while? "I just need a few more moments, then I'll come out." he went on, trying really hard to get Nami to... Well, fuck off.  
  
"C'mon, let me in. I gotta speak to you "  
  
"Nami..." Sanji cried out in a poor attempt to mask his frustration.  
  
"You either let me in right now, or I'll bust down the door." Nami pressed.  
  
There was no arguing with the woman, and Sanji was the last person who actually wanted to get into a fight with her, so he stood up to unlock and open the door.  
  
"See? It wasn't that hard." Nami smirked softly, then pushed him further inside the bathroom as she walked in and shut the door behind her.  
  
Sanji let out another sigh as he went to take his seat on the tub again, unable to look Nami in the eye as she pulled down the toilet seat and sat down on it.  
  
"You know that Zoro won't be there to hear you sing Shamandalie, do you?" Nami started, going straight to the point without dancing around it.  
  
Sanji gaped at her as the words hit him hard enough to knock the wind out of him. 

"O-of course... It isn't about him! Not everything is!" he tried to sound convincing, but he couldn't even convince himself.  
  
"It is. Everything is about him, because you're still hurting for what happened, and it's _fine_." Nami said in the softer tone she could muster "You don't have to torture yourself with that damn song, honey."  
  
The very last thing that Sanji wanted to do was cry in front of Nami, especially after he had already cried during rehearsals and had probably looked like a huge idiot, but Nami's expression as she spoke to him, her gentle voice and those words were the ultimate tear trigger. He growled, pressing his fingers into his eyes as if they could stop those stupid salty drops from streaming down his face, and shook his head.  
  
"I just–" Sanji started, not even knowing where that phrase was headed, because his head was a pounding mess. "I need to sing that song, even if he doesn't hear me," he sobbed and gulped – God, how much he loathed speaking while crying. "I need to let those feelings out, I wanna yell out how much of a fucking dick I am for fucking everything up."  
  
_There, he said it._

Sanji wiped his tears off with the sleeve of his sweater, sniffling in the process. He wasn't trying to gain the attention of others, nor did he demand to be pitied, he didn't see himself as a victim but as the usual screw up who couldn't even keep the person he loved the most. There was no way he was going to back up from signing Shamandalie, he was going to go through with it and even if he risked bawling his eyes out during the live show, he was going to be magnificent while doing so.  
  
"I miss him too, Sanji..." Nami confessed, a small smile curving her lips as she reached out her hand to grab Sanji's.  
  
Sanji's eyes went back to Nami's, then down to their hands "I don't know if I can go on that stage without him, and be alright."  
  
Normally he wouldn't say something like that to anyone than his own reflection or shadow, but keeping everything in only made it harder, and Nami's concern for him made him want to open up more.  
  
"You will be," Nami nodded as she squeezed Sanji's hand softly "none of us likes the idea of performing without Zoro, but we gotta." she gave a small shrug.  
  
Sanji didn't say anything as he kept staring down at their hands. Nami's was as pale as his own, just smaller and shorter, her nail polish looked perfect and usually Sanji's would be too if he weren't in such a self loathing state. He couldn't really help but comparing how Zoro's hand would be much bigger and rougher than Nami's, the skin would be darker and the nails would be barely covered in chipped black polish. He missed the feeling of that hand in his own more than he had ever realized.  
  
"You're our vocalist, and the founder of the Crows, we need _you_." Nami went on, probably thinking that Sanji had dissociated or something.  
  
Sanji huffed, shaking his head slowly "I'm fucking disposable, no one needs an asshole like me."  
  
He didn't even have time to finish talking that Nami had already punched him in the shoulder as hard as she could, making him groan in pain.  
  
"Ow! What the fuck?!" Sanji glared at her as he massaged his sore shoulder.  
  
"Because I'm done listening to you spewing crap from your mouth, but I didn't wanna ruin your face for the concert." Nami explained in a deadly tone.  
  
Sanji clenched his jaw and looked away like a scolded child. He didn't care if he sounded too dramatic, he genuinely thought that about himself.  
  
"You gonna come finish rehearsals with us?" Nami asked as she stood up, her arms crossed over her chest.  
  
"Do I even have a choice?" Sanji sighed as he looked up at her.  
  
Nami didn't answer and just opened the bathroom door to get back to the garage, leaving Sanji alone for a few more moments. The singer sucked in a shaky breath and stood up from the tub, rinsed his face once more and grimaced at his bloodshot eyes before finally following Nami in joining the others again.  
  
"Everything alright?" Vivi asked as soon as Sanji set foot on the garage floor.  
  
He raised his eyes on her and smiled softly with a nod "Sure, sweetheart. I wasn't feeling to good, so I needed a short pause."  
  
"Are you sure you wanna continue?" Luffy asked. Was that concern that Sanji heard in his tone?  
  
"Sure, why wouldn't I?" Sanji asked as if Luffy's question was absolutely inappropriate.  
  
"No reason at all." Luffy shrugged and beamed at the blond, flashing him one of those knowing looks that always felt too wise for such a boyish face.  
  
"We should probably play something a bit lighter, huh?" Ace suggested as he swung the strap of his guitar back over his shoulders "Something of ours."  
  
Sanji looked at Ace in the eyes for what was probably the first time in all those days and nodded in approval "Yes, let's do _The Siren_." he grinned.  
  
" _The Siren_ it is!" Nami cracked her fingers as she set her synth up and got ready to cue everyone in.

Bartolomeo had kept completely silent, so much that Sanji had almost forgotten about his presence until he glanced over to the drums and saw the wrong green-haired dude sitting by it – and Sanji struggled very hard not to fling the microphone (with the stand attached) at his ugly mug. He sucked in an unsteady breath, trying to focus on the rest of the band and pretending that the drum sounds was just a recording and not an actual person who had replaced Zoro.  
  
"Five, four, three, two, one!" Nami counted, almost sing-songing and then finally began to play the intro to The Siren.  
  
It could be easy now, doing all of that in the coziness and intimacy of Franky's garage, but the terror of having to do an entire live show without Zoro was starting to brew inside of Sanji, no matter how much he was trying to ignore it.  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  
Practice didn't last long, apart from Shamandalie the other songs were perfectly carved into everyone's memory, so there was no actual need to go over every single one of them every time.  
  
Franky had suggested going out for drinks, but apart from Sanji who had firmly agreed to go and get wasted, everyone else either had plans or just a visceral need for their comfy beds. Not to mention that there was something important to deal with as a band that they had either forgotten to do or pushed back for too long.  
  
"There's an announce to be made on each and every one of our social media accounts." Nami announced.  
  
"What?" Luffy asked with furrowed eyebrows.  
  
Sanji had a vague idea of what this could be about, and his blood was already starting to freeze in his veins as the clock ticked away.  
  
"The fans need to know about Zoro." Vivi chimed in with a frown of her lips.  
  
Nami nodded her head "I've always wanted to do this, since day one of him parting ways with us–"  
  
"He didn't fucking... Part ways with us, he–" Sanji bursted all of a sudden. His concerns were well aimed, after all, Nami was going to address the fact that they needed to make Zoro's leave official and Sanji felt like throwing up.  
  
He wanted to say that things could have been momentarily, that Zoro might have come back, even if Sanji was the first one who didn't believe that, but he couldn't. He couldn't speak about Zoro, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
Everyone looked at him, everyone but Barto who kept glancing anywhere but at Sanji, definitely knowing that the singer might have launched himself at him with murderous intentions.  
  
"Sanji is right! I mean... Why should we say that he left the band like it's something definitive. I don't like the sound of it, Nami!" Luffy cut in adamant, crossing his arms across his chest.  
  
Sanji looked at him in a mix of surprise and pure gratitude, he couldn't believe that some of his friends still agreed and sided with him, he especially didn't expect Luffy to do that.  
  
"Well, you should somehow say that at least for a brief time he won't be at live shows," Usopp shrugged a shoulder "it's only fair to the fans."  
  
"Shut up, Usopp." Luffy said briskly.  
  
"Don't be fucking rude!" Usopp shouted back at him.  
  
"Usopp is right, guys. We need to be at least partially honest with our fans... They're part of the family, and the only reason we've come so far." Nami went on.  
  
Sanji threw his head back at Nami's words "You're doing it again."  
  
Nami lifted an eyebrow "Excuse me?"  
  
He didn't want to argue in that moment, it wasn't fair to do so, especially not after how kind she had been to him just an hour before, but all he wanted to do was ask her who the hell had died and made her queen of the band.  
  
"Let's just make important decisions together, alright?" Sanji said, trapping all the poison he could have spat behind his teeth.  
  
Nami blinked a couple times "That's what we're doing, I just merely suggested that we should think about the fans, too. We cannot just barge on stage with Bartolomeo instead of Zoro and expect that no one will notice the difference."  
  
Sanji snorted "Maybe from the very back of the venue they would be slightly fooled."  
  
"Look... I'm gonna go and leave you guys to it. I did my part." Bartolomeo muttered as he shrugged on his jacket and walked to the front door.  
  
"Barto..." Nami called out to him.  
  
"Please let him go." Sanji said in an exasperated tone.  
  
"I'll see you on Friday." Barto went on as he didn't turn to look at anyone and just walked out of the door.  
  
"Still don't wanna go out for drinks?" Franky suggested again, earning a glare from Nami.  
  
"We should be a bit nicer to him." Nami commented, ignoring Franky's words completely.  
  
"I did ask him to join us for drinks." Franky sighed.  
  
"That's _not_ what I meant!"  
  
"I don't give a shit about him, and I sure as hell won't be nice to that idiot." Sanji spat as he lit up a cigarette. He had been nice enough not to kick the bastard's teeth in.  
  
"Well, he saved our asses." Nami continued.  
  
"Oh please, he's caused more trouble than you think." Sanji rolled his eyes and took a drag of tobacco.  
  
"If you start yelling at each other I'm gonna have to tear down this house, and I don't think Franky will be happy." Luffy threatened. He looked on the verge of explosion, he had definitely had enough of their friends arguing with one another.  
  
"No, I would be super pissed." Franky agreed with Luffy.  
  
"Look," Ace started, and Sanji's head whipped immediately in his direction "I think Nami has a point. We won't be telling our fans that Zoro left us for good, we'll just let them know that it's something temporary." he shrugged at the end of his thoughts.  
  
Sanji didn't want to hear Ace's suggestions, no matter what, even if they were reasonable he didn't want to agree with him. Sanji kept quiet as he puffed away on his cigarette angrily, the muscles in his body tensing up and the vein on his forehead pulsing behind the blond bangs. Ace should have kept his damn mouth shut, since he was one of the reasons why Zoro wasn't there in the first place.  
  
"This is what I wanted to do all along, thank you." Nami said as she waved her hand towards Ace.  
  
"It's gonna freak people out." Luffy went on.  
  
"It's still gonna freak them out when they won't see him on the goddamn stage, Luffy!" Nami groaned, exasperated.  
  
"Let's just do it." Sanji finally agreed. She was right, she was right even if it hurt like hell.  
  
Deep inside, what bothered Sanji was that he wasn't as lucid as he thought he actually was, he couldn't make certain decisions for the band because pain clouded his judgment and he felt like a damn idiot for that. It seriously angered him that he needed Nami to come up with these ideas because lately his mind was a complete disaster... His father was right and it made everything even more unbearable.  
  
Everyone stared at him once he finally agreed with Nami, and Franky nodded towards him.  
  
"Well, you heard the man." the blue haired man said "My laptop's on the kitchen table, I'll go fetch it."  
  
"Thank you, Sanji." Nami said with such a genuinely grateful expression that made Sanji bite his lower lip harder than he should have.  
  
He mattered. He still had the last say in the band's decisions and he seriously wanted to cry all over again. Sanji shrugged his shoulders and didn't say anything back, making it look like he didn't care about being thanked, and kept on smoking.  
  
Luffy looked at Sanji like he had betrayed him, and for a moment he thought he was going to get his ass kicked "I know it hurts you, too, but I guess it is the right thing to do after all." he sighed.  
  
Was everyone seriously trying to make him bawl his goddamn eyes out? Holy shit.  
  
"We owe it to the fans." Sanji nodded, then moved to the coffee table to put out his cigarette and stay away from the others for a moment.  
  
Why did these rehearsals suddenly get so emotionally draining?  
  
Sanji sat down on the couch and waited as Nami got down to business and typed up an announcement for all the Crows' social media accounts. He couldn't wait to go home and lay in bed skipping dinner, he just wanted to burrow himself into a protective cocoon of blankets and possibly never come out of it.  
  
"Alright, see if this is alright," Nami announced as she read out " _Dearest Ravens, there's no need for us to be formal with you, so we'll just avoid dancing around the subject of this announcement and get to the point: Zoro has taken a break from the band for personal reasons. Don't worry, he's healthy, but he just really needed to step away momentarily. We're deeply sorry, we know you were looking forward to seeing him on stage and meet him after the show, but he needs some time and we gotta respect that. We already have someone who will fill in for him during the upcoming gigs, so we'll still be able to play for you. See you all at the next shows, love, your Crows._ "  
  
There was a feeble choir of "Yeah. Sounds good." but Nami's eyes were glued to Sanji and he didn't even feel like opening his mouth.  
  
"Post it." Sanji said as he was already halfway through his second cigarette, and stood up. "I'm gonna go home, now."  
  
"You sure you're alright?" Vivi asked, concern written all over her features.  
  
"I haven't been in a while." Sanji said as he stomped towards the coat rack to put on his own "Bye, guys." he said as he hurriedly left the house, promising himself not to cry.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

One day bled into the other, leaving Sanji numb and unable to take proper care of himself, dreading that Friday evening that everyone was so eagerly talking about. He didn't know whether the days were passing by painfully slowly or too excruciatingly quickly for him to actually take a breath, there was no in between in what he was feeling and it was consuming him.  
  
In the back of his mind there was still that feeble hope that Zoro was actually going to show up to the show, either as a spectator or as a bandmate, Sanji had often had this kind of dream but it always abruptly ended when he tried to call out for the moss-haired idiot, no sound coming out of his mouth as he jerked awake and reality slapped him across the face all over again.  
  
Sanji had barely eaten throughout the three days separating him from the fateful day, he had kept listening to songs able to shatter to tinier pieces his already broken heart, torturing himself with guilt and poisonous thoughts, dreading the moment he was going to have to climb up that stage without the other side of his sky, the missing part of his soul.  
  
Sanji couldn't stop the passing of time, so he just forced himself to be at least physically strong enough to endure the live show that awaited him that night and took care of his body the way he was supposed to, especially since Zeff had been pestering him all the time for looking like a dry prune instead of his usual eggplant self. He ate properly, indulged in a long bubble bath and tried to flush out all the bad thoughts off his mind by being constantly busy either operating on his appearance by shaving, fixing his eyebrows, redyeing the tips of his hair, or tidying up his room.  
  
The meeting hour with the others by Franky's was set for 5:30, since there was a two hours drive awaiting them to get to the venue. That night they were going to perform a bit later than usual, but other than doing a quick sound check (supposing that they weren't going to discover any technical problems during it) they didn't have much to do and could relatively take it easy.  
  
Despite having eaten plenty and taken care of himself more than he usually did, Sanji had only managed to get a couple hours of sleep for how damn agitated and anxious he had been, so he resorted to napping throughout the entire trip in Brook's car, while the older man chatted with Nami and Vivi.  
  
The two hours went by unexpectedly slow as he was lulled by the calm background voices. Sanji opened one eye every now and then, just to make sure he still had time to snooze, and always found out that he still had plenty of time to try and recharge as much as he could, and once they had actually arrived he felt relatively rested.  
  
It was dark outside, the air cold but dry, there was no wind blowing and making it a struggle for everyone to take their equipment and bags out of the cars. Sanji was immensely grateful that the venue had a backdoor, because at the moment he really didn't feel like having to deal with the fans before the show, and having to answer uncomfortable questions that would have destroyed his already precarious mental stability.  
  
He helped with all the gear, leaving anyone dumbfounded when he usually was the primadonna who always sneaked away to start on his hair and makeup and never helped, but this time he only wanted to be useful and keep his brain as focused as possible on whatever wasn't Zoro.

Of course he avoided helping out with the drum set, enough was enough and lending his help to Bartolomeo was most definitely not on his list of things to do, so when the time came for it to be unloaded and set up, Sanji grabbed his bag and made his way to the changing rooms, leaving Franky, Usopp and Bartolomeo to it.  
  
"Hey Blackleg."  
  
A deep voice made him stop and turn on his heels, Kidd was staring at him irradiating his usual unfriendly aura.  
  
"Eustass." Sanji nodded in greeting. He didn't really feel like wasting anymore time when he really should be getting ready.  
  
"How you doing?" The red haired man went on, making himself looking pretty damn awkward in his attempt to make small talk with Sanji.  
  
"Don't worry, I remember how the song goes. I won't make you look like an idiot on stage," Sanji assured him "now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go get ready because it's fucking late." he concluded as he turned back to storm in the direction of the changing room.  
  
"I know, I know..." he heard Kidd mutter in his wake.

Sanji knew he had probably looked like an asshole, but the last thing he wanted to do was chatting casually with Kidd who had already been creepy enough to suggest he singed _Death March_ with Freakshow when it was a song that clearly held more meaning to Sanji than anyone else could tell.  
  
After walking down a brief corridor, Sanji's eyes caught a glimpse of a sheet of paper with _'Murder Of Crows men'_ written upon glued to a door, so he came to a halt and pushed it open. The changing room was surprisingly more spacious than what they were used to, and Sanji really hoped that Nami wasn't going to get a small, awful, stinky cubicle for herself just because she was the only girl in the band. Man, if that really happened the venue was probably gonna be burned down.  
  
Sanji found the perfect spot for him with a large mirror and a chair, so he dropped his duffel bag on the floor and began to strip off his regular human clothes so that he could finally shuffle into his Prince Of Crows clothes. He had no idea when the others were going to burst into the changing room, but he'd rather be already fully clothed when they were gonna enter. For some reason, he didn't particularly feel like hanging around the others half-naked, at the moment, so he quickly got to work.  
  
He carefully pulled on his good ol' fishnet shirt, then proceeded to fit into his skin tight fake leather pants, he topped the fishnet shirt with a fake leather underbust corset that matched the pants, then sat down to put on his Demonia Trashville 518 boots. He could still accessorize later, at least he was dressed and could be more relaxed and have all the time he needed to work on his makeup, even if the others were to arrive.  
  
Once Sanji was sitting by the mirror, applying foundation to his already moisturized and primered face, it didn't really take long for Luffy, Ace and Bartolomeo to come in.  
  
"Look at you, all dolled up." Luffy commented with a grin "Very Marilyn Manson-esque." he added with a wink.  
  
Sanji didn't turn to smile directly at Luffy's compliment, but he did so through the mirror, where he also caught a glimpse of two jack slacked Bartolomeo and Ace. Holy shit, the last thing he needed was the green haired monster to develop a crush on him too.  
  
"Gotta put on my feather collar coat and o-ring choker, then I'll be all set." Sanji replied as he patted his face with the palest shade of foundation.  
  
"God, I'm so nervous... I never dressed up for a show." Sanji heard Bartolomeo whine from behind him, but kept his mouth shut. It wasn't the right time to reduce him to a sobbing mess.  
  
"I'm sure you'll look great, you always wear cool outfits!" Luffy encouraged him.  
  
Sanji was watching them from the mirror as he applied translucent powder over his foundation, tricking them into thinking he wasn't paying attention. He saw Luffy clap a hand on Barto's shoulder and then pointing at his teeth.  
  
"Plus you got fangs, dude! They're so awesome!" Luffy beamed, laughing the last word out in excitement.  
  
Sanji couldn't deny that he really appreciated seeing Luffy being his usual self after what had felt like a lifetime. He didn't know why, or how it had happened, but Sanji was glad it did. Even if it meant that Luffy would compliment someone Sanji highly disliked.  
  
From that point on, Bartolomeo exploded in a huge verbal diarrhea as he gushed over Luffy and then proceeded to put up his outfit while Luffy helped him out – apparently the idiot had brought an entire suitcase full of clothes, because he was too indecisive about what he should have worn that night. Sanji rolled his eyes so hard that he feared his white contacts might have fallen off.  
  
"Fucking hell, you're making my ears bleed!" Ace growled at one point, silencing Luffy and Bartolomeo who looked at him with eyes the size of the moon.  
  
"I was gonna say that." Sanji commented casually as he buckled up his choker and stood up to get his coat.  
  
He knew he had three pairs of eyes focused on him, but he didn't care, he was gonna have many more pairs fixed upon him in a couple hours anyway. Sanji glanced at them briefly, then walked out of the changing room without even dignifying them with a word.  
  
He was back. The Prince Of Crows was back. Dressed to kill and with his warpaint on, Sanji felt invincible, even if he was really more fragile than paper, but he needed to seize the moment of invincibility if he wanted to make it through the night. He strutted right back to the leisure area where Brook, Usopp and Franky where hanging out together with the amazingly beautiful Robin.  
  
"S-Sanji.... Whoa." Usopp stuttered when he saw him, jaw hanging slightly and cheeks pinking up.  
  
"Robin!" Sanji cried out as he marched towards the woman sitting next to Franky "You're always the most beautiful creature ever, but tonight you're simply glowing!" he chanted as he took Robin's hand in his to plant a kiss with his black matte lips on it.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Franky groaned.  
  
Robin laughed a crystalline laugh, covering her mouth with her free hand "Well, Sanji... You're absolutely beautiful yourself!"  
  
"Oh, please!" Franky muttered with a pout, making Robin laugh again.  
  
Sanji blushed furiously, no matter how covering was his foundation. He was never going to get used to receiving compliments from women, especially women as impossibly beautiful as Robin.  
  
"Are you alright?" Robin asked with a small tilt of the head.  
  
"Y-yes! Yes... Yes, I am." Sanji nodded, then finally let go of Robin's hand to move towards the small fridge and get himself a cold one. He needed it more than he thought.  
  
"So, are the others ready yet, or...?" Usopp asked once Sanji reemerged from the fridge.  
  
"Uh... Dunno about Nami, but the boys should be almost done." Sanji answered with a shrug, then walked over to plot down on the couch next to Usopp.  
  
"I think Freakshow are gonna do their sound check soon, they're all ready and are just tweaking with their gears on stage." Franky said as he took a sip of his own beer.  
  
"Yeah? I ran into Eustass, earlier." Sanji tossed casually before taking a large swig of beer, its coldness feeling like heaven as it rolled down his throat.  
  
"They have been here for quite some time. I arrived with them pretty early." Robin chimed in as she bent over to refill her glass from the bottle of red wine placed on the coffee table.  
  
"Yeah well, Nami and I have been studying 'til a few minutes before going to Franky's and everyone else had work, that's why we couldn't show up earlier." Usopp explained as he crossed one leg over the other.  
  
"Of course, I know even Franky had quite a busy day." Robin said as she turned to look at the man sitting close to her.  
  
"Well you know me... I'm a super mechanic, always full of work to do!" Franky said with a laugh that made Sanji roll his eyes.  
  
Music started playing all of a sudden from the stage area, and everyone perked up to peek over at the backstage, Freakshow had started their sound check.  
  
"Should we go over there?" Usopp asked.  
  
Sanji shrugged a shoulder "Still better than just sitting here waiting."  
  
"Let's go." Franky said as he stood up and offered his hand to Robin.  
  
"Thank you." She smiled.  
  
Holy shit, now even Franky and Robin had to be lovey dovey with each other, Sanji could just throw up. He stomped as quick as possible towards the door leading to the pit, leaving the others behind.

As soon as he pushed the door open the music surrounded him loud, making him smirk, he walked up to the stage to see the band up close and saw Perona sitting on a huge crate that was right behind a speaker. Shit, he really hoped she wasn't gonna start bugging him about Zoro, or else he was gonna flip out.

 

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again, I'm still not dead and I still haven't given up on this story... Though I had started hating it with a passion, throughout these past months, haha. There are days in which it just didn't want to get written, and days in which I literally couldn't stop writing. I can't make promises about fast updates, because they aren't going to happen, not now that pretty much three years have passed since the beginning of this story, and so much has changed in my life. 
> 
> Yet I cannot thank enough each and everyone of you for being so supportive and kind, and really respectful to me! I read all your messages, I try to answer every one of them and cherish every lovely word you write to me, you're all so amazing, you have no idea! Thank you so so so much!
> 
> Remember that you can find me on tumblr, my url is marimoyaro, and you can drop me an ask whenever! 
> 
> So after... How many? Four months, give or take? Here, enjoy!

Everything was happening in a blur, too fast and too loud for Sanji to really understand what was going on. His mind was hazed, elsewhere, his ears muffled as Freakshow rehearsed and all his friends danced and enjoyed the industrial tunes.   
  
He was there but not really, his insides vibrating to the violent thumping of the drums, his chest quivering with the sounds but his heart and mind where somewhere else entirely. Sanji had no idea that it was going to get that bad, he wanted to keep his brain busy but instead he felt like his soul was miles away from there, in a place where nothing could possibly harm him.  
  
He had no idea about how long the soundcheck took, he just knew that at one point he snapped back to reality and sooner than he expected Nami was snapping her fingers in front of his nose.  
  
"Are you here with us?" she asked with a frown, her confused eyes were unnaturally red and it took Sanji a few seconds to understand that she was obviously wearing contacts.  
  
Sanji blinked several times, feeling his own lenses move slightly underneath his eyelids, then nodded slowly.  
  
"Yeah, just..." Sanji started, touching his forehead softly and being careful to not mess up his foundation "I need a drink."  
  
Nami's eyebrow cocked, then she exchanged glances with Vivi and Usopp. Sanji rarely drank before shows, he knew alcohol affected him pretty heavily and would never start a show while being intoxicated, it just wasn't his style.  
  
"C'mon don't give me that look, guys! Just a beer will do." Sanji insisted.  
  
"Alright, alright. I'll get you one, but you guys gotta do your soundcheck... Now." Usopp pressed.  
  
Sanji ran his long fingers through his hair "Fine, let's go," he sighed, then stabbed his forefinger in Usopp's direction "but you gotta get me that beer, alright?"   
  
Usopp nodded "I will. Just go on stage, everyone's up there already."  
  
Nami tipped her head in the direction of the stage ladder "Let's go." she patted Sanji's shoulder and climbed up before Sanji even got a chance to move.  
  
He stood there for a few seconds. He could feel a pair of eyes burning the back of his skull, and when he turned around just out of curiosity, he found Perona glaring daggers at him. Sanji climbed up on stage so quickly that he nearly fell face first onto the crappy linoleum floor.  
  
He had no idea as to what was actually going on with him, didn't know how he could have sort of blacked out for the past minutes while still being able to stand and move around. He did know what to blame it on, though, it wasn't too hard to know that no matter how much he tried to push the thought away, seeing Bartolomeo behind the drums made him want to pass out for the rest of the entire night.  
  
Sanji thought he was simply denying that whole thing so hard that his mind shut down completely, but that was an awful reaction if he really needed to give his best on the stage, that night. Booze was going to help him relax, and that was the only reason why he'd willingly perform while being tipsy, he knew he wasn't going to be able to face the crowd otherwise, no matter how much he tried to just play it off like it was an easy job.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
Soundcheck lasted more than Freakshow's, apparently the instruments and the sound system weren't exactly cooperating, and Franky and Usopp had a hard time setting everything up properly. Sanji kept spacing out, worrying the entire band and earning him a fair share of weird looks and questions about his well being.  
  
"Shit guys, gimme a goddamn break!" the singer bursted at one point as he broke away from the microphone "I need some fresh air, alright?" he stepped down from the stage and walked off in the direction of the back door, leaving everyone behind dumbfounded.  
  
Sanji grabbed a beer on his way out, the one that Usopp was starting to definitely think about not providing him with, but obviously stumbled into the last person he needed to be confronted by.  
  
"So you actually went through with this madness?" Perona asked as she stood between Sanji and the exit.  
  
"It's just a beer." Sanji played dumb as he showed her the can in his hand.  
  
"Don't be a smartass with me, Blackleg!" Perona groaned, rolling her big black eyes.  
  
"What the fuck do you want from me?! Honestly!" Sanji growled, exasperated. He just needed a moment alone, and starting to be guilt tripped by Zoro's crazy fangirl was the absolute last thing he needed.  
  
Perona gave him an unsure look, she probably wasn't expecting that reaction from Sanji, since he was always kind to her, even when he didn't mean it.  
  
"You gotta bring Zoro back!" she said, anyway.  
  
Sanji deadpanned at her, unable to say anything. That was torture, it definitely was some kind of infernal punishment he had been cursed with. He couldn't bare with that, not at the moment.  
  
"This isn't the time nor the place to discuss this. I don't have to do anything, actually. Zoro made a choice and we're respecting it," Sanji lied through his teeth, he couldn't respect that decision even if he should have "try to respect it yourself." he concluded in the coldest of tones, then pushed past the bewildered girl to finally get outside.  
  
Sanji hadn't noticed how hard his heart was racing in his chest, nor the pounding in his head. He couldn't keep on going like that, he was going to have a stroke before the venue even filled up with people.   
  
Sanji tore the can open, taking a big, avid swig of ale before he could let his brain go any wilder. Maybe he should have actually gone on stage completely wasted, but then again he didn't want to make a fool of himself or ruin the entire show for everyone. He needed to calm the fuck down.  
  
"It can't work like this."  
  
Sanji choked on his drink and started coughing furiously as Nami's mildly threatening voice took him by utter surprise.  
  
"You tryina kill me?" Sanji croaked as he turned to her.  
  
Nami rolled her eyes and shook her head "You need to get a goddamn grip, Sanji."  
  
Sanji huffed "Like I didn't know that." he shook his head and, this time, took a smaller sip of beer.  
  
"Well, just knowing it isn't gonna cover it." Nami continued "You actually need to do something about it."  
  
Sanji's eyes fell shut as he took a deep breath "I thought I said I needed to be alone."  
  
Nami shrugged "Well, you clearly need to _not_ be alone."

Wasn't he wearing a full face of makeup, Sanji would have probably scrubbed a hand down his face in pure frustration. He could feel his sanity dripping out of him like droplets of water from a chunk of ice, he was being directly exposed to the heat of insanity and he didn't know how to run away from it any longer.

"You don't have to do this alone," Nami started, stepping closer to the singer and placing a fishnet gloved hand on his shoulder "you can't do this alone." she precised, squeezing his shoulder.  
  
Sanji looked at her, his throat knotting up as soon as those words left her lips, he didn't know what he had done to deserve Nami's friendship, he seriously had no idea, but he was beyond thankful for her.  
  
"Why are you so kind to me? I'm a useless piece of shit." Sanji groaned, then tried to swallow the annoying knot in the back of his throat that threatened to crack his voice.  
  
A chuckle escaped Nami's lips as she shook her head "You are a bit of a shit, but I love you and I don't wanna see you like this." then with a head tilt she added "Also I'd be really angry if you fucked up tonight's performance, so I need you at your best." she cracked a devious smirk.  
  
Sanji snorted, a small smirk finally pulling at his lips "Knew you had to have a motive for being so sweet."   
  
Nami nudged him with her arm "C'mon, you know I can be nice when I wanna... And I actually wanna." she gave a nod.  
  
Sanji looked down at his hand, remembering he was actually holding a drink in it, so he sipped on the still cold beer that felt incredibly refreshing as it washed down his throat.  
  
"I've been fucking awful to everyone lately." he muttered into the can, looking ahead into the night.  
  
"You are awful eighty percent of the time, so I wouldn't worry too much." Nami replied, and Sanji could hear the shit eating grin in her voice.  
  
"Thanks." Sanji rolled his eyes, then finished off the rest of his beer, still avoiding Nami's gaze. "I can't go up that fucking stage without him." he growled through gritted teeth, his fingers crumpling up the tin in his hand.   
  
"You gotta." Nami deadpanned, and Sanji finally turned to look at her with a frown "No matter what, you have to."  
  
"It doesn't feel right." Sanji shook his head, he could feel his anxiety creeping back, but this time he didn't want to give in to it.  
  
"You're not alone, Sanji. We'll be all there with you," Nami started "it doesn't feel right for us, too... But we gotta stick together and do this, because we deserve it!"   
  
"I don't..." Sanji shrugged "I deserve fucking nothing, to be honest."   
  
Nami groaned as she threw her head back "Look, stop pitying your damn self and start thinking about the fact that you cannot let this band die, nor you can disappoint our fans."  
  
"I stabbed this band in the fucking back, already." Sanji sighed, then cried out when Nami slapped the back of his head as hard as she could "Ow! What the fuck?!" he glared at the girl as he rubbed the sore spot on his head.  
  
"You're so annoying, holy shit!" Nami tried to keep herself from shouting "If you wanna fix this, you gotta do something about it!" she growled, clearly done with coddling the blond.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "Right, that's so easy! Zoro doesn't even wanna see me anymore!"  
  
"Well you're a pair of immature fucks, if you ask me!" Nami went on "You gotta try and talk to him, no matter what!"

Sanji stared at Nami as if she had lost her mind, she looked as serious as a heart attack and he couldn't even think about trying and reach out to Zoro, he knew he wouldn't want to even remotely hear or read even a simple _'hello'_ from Sanji.

"Well, what about you?" Sanji started "Have you talked to him? He's your friend, too." he knew he shouldn't be tossing the ball to someone else, but it was the only way to try and squirm out of such situation.  
  
Nami's expression faltered, she wasn't as adamant looking as a few moment earlier, her eyes shied away from Sanji's as she shook her head.  
  
"It's like he's disappeared." Nami spoke in a soft voice, her gaze focusing on her boots, or a few inches away from them.  
  
Sanji felt something tugging at his stomach, probably disappointment, or something between disappointment and relief, he couldn't really tell. He was at the same time happy to know that Zoro hadn't reached out for anyone else, leaving him in complete darkness, but he was also disappointed that there seemed to be no way of knowing how he was holding up, where he was or if he even was alive, for the matter.   
  
"He's such an idiot for doing this," Nami growled lowly, then shook her head "or maybe he isn't, I just don't know!" she cried, voice laced with frustration.   
  
"Let's get back to the part where he's actually an idiot," Sanji nodded "I like that part."   
  
Nami lifted her eyes back on Sanji, staring at him as if she was facing a the biggest imbecile on the planet "You're an idiot just as much as he is," she corrected him "you both are, in this picture."  
  
Sanji was suddenly itching for a cigarette, or maybe another can of cold ale. Maybe both things would have been great in that moment. He found his nails scraping at the palms of both his hands without even realizing it.  
  
"How long 'til the show?" Sanji asked, no longer willing to stay on the same topic. By that point he just wanted to get everything over with, so he could just go back to not having a boulder of performance anxiety sitting on his chest.  
  
Nami pulled her phone out of her bra, clearly in order to check the time, but Sanji choked on his own saliva.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Nami asked with furrowed eyebrows as she watched Sanji coughing while being practically bent in a half.  
  
"W-what are you? Why were you keeping it there?!" Sanji cried.  
  
Nami groaned, rolling her eyes into the back of her skull "Look, they're just a pair of tits. Go back to thinking about dicks, it's better."  
  
Sanji huffed, then shook his head. In that precise moment he realize how much he had missed that kind of banter with Nami, the relaxed, carefree talking about things that were merely trivial and not stuff that held their futures at the stake. He wanted to go back to that, wanted things to simmer down to normalcy and... And why not? He wanted things to be boring and calm, at least for once, after everything that had happened.  
  
"You better not be smiling at my rack, boy." Nami went on after she had checked her phone and stuffed it back where it belonged "It isn't yours to stare at."  
  
Sanji blinked as if he'd been awaken from a slumber, and once he was aware of his muscles again he could sense that he had in fact started smiling for no particular reason at all. He licked his lips and shook his head, this time aware of what he was actually doing.  
  
"I know, I know, it's Vivi's. Don't worry." Sanji raised his hands in surrender.  
  
A smirk curled Nami's lips, clearly liking what she'd heard "That's right." then she reached out a hand to pat on Sanji's shoulder "We're practically up now, you think you can do this?" she asked, her expression and tone were serious again.  
  
Sanji felt his stomach drop, as if he had suddenly been thrown out of a high ravine, he wasn't ready for reality to creep back so soon, he just wanted to stay out there chatting forever.  
  
"Do I have to?" He whined slightly.  
  
Nami sighed "Yes, you do. You're the Crow Prince, we can't do this without you." she shrugged her shoulders.  
  
Sanji pressed his lips together. He was the Crow Prince, yes. He needed to slip back into his persona again, he owed it to his friends and fans, even if the mere thought of that Zoro-less stage frightened more than death itself.  
  
"Sanji?" Nami called out softly, her head tipping slightly to the side.  
  
Sanji nodded, heaving a breath that he'd been holding since he'd pressed his lips together, as tight as humanly possible.  
  
"I'm the Crow Prince, I gotta be ready." Sanji echoed, in the wake of Nami's words.  
  
"That's what I wanted to hear." The keyboardist beamed at Sanji, her hand moving briefly to squeeze Sanji's, then she disappeared inside as quick as lightning.  
  
Sanji stayed behind, still lingering in that safe zone. Nami was probably the best thing he could have asked for in times like those, she could have been spending those precious minutes with her girlfriend, yet she had chosen to give her full support to an imbecile like him.   
  
Sanji felt the corners of his eyes sting for a moment, and he cursed out loud, he couldn't cry right before hopping on stage, he didn't have time to touch his makeup up! He tried to suck back his tears, just like they do in cartoons, forbidding the tiniest of droplets to even think about rolling down his eyes and smear eyeshadow, eyeliner and foundation in the process.  
  
He shook his head and marched back inside with the confidence that Nami had magically boosted inside of him, and tried to convince himself as much as he could that he couldn't be Sanji in that moment, he couldn't be the vulnerable, heartbroken blond guy who wanted nothing more than give in to booze and tobacco, he needed to be the Crow Prince, the singer who radiated confidence and sensuality from each and everyone of his pores, he needed to be sex on legs and lust in a voice.   
  
The more steps ahead he took the more layers of self-consciousness he peeled off, he saw his friends all dressed up, jumping, stomping their feet and doing anything they could to loose the tension, and felt the Crow Prince taking over – even when he saw Bartolomeo shirtless, twirling drumsticks in each of his hands.  
  
"Let's tear this motherfucking place down." Sanji growled low once he'd finally stopped in front of his band.  
  
Everyone stared at him in bewilderment, then roared their approval as they waited for the lights to go off and climb on stage one by one, leaving Sanji for last.  
  
"Hey..."   
  
Sanji raised his eyes on the last person who needed to step on the ladder before him: Ace. He was simply gorgeous, with his shoulder length black hair, the red circle lenses and all that black eyeshadow to grace the shape of his eyes, Sanji felt shame in thinking that, but he couldn't help his eyes.  
  
"What?" Sanji croaked out, eyes straying away from Ace's "Just go on." he said as he tipped his chin in the direction of the stage.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you that–" Ace started, but Sanji couldn't take that, not in that moment, no matter what it would have been.  
  
"Please Ace, just go. Tell me later." Sanji cut him off as he waved his hand in the direction of the ladder.  
  
Ace stiffened, his eyes widening as he heard Sanji finally utter his name after all that time.  
  
"O-okay... Y-yeah." Ace stuttered and nearly tripped as he resumed his walk towards the stage ladder.  
  
Sanji shook his head, what the fuck was happening that night?!  
  
He slowly counted up to ten after the crowd screamed out Ace's name, then finally made his way up the stage, smirking at the hysterical yelling and finally standing in front of his microphone. He looked to the right to find Luffy, beaming at him, then looked to the left, where Ace was waving at the people in first couple of rows. Sanji waited for the drums to cue everyone in, then he sung out in unison with Nami, Ace and Luffy:  
  
 _"I wish I had an angel for one moment of love, I wish I had your angel tonight!"_  
  
The music started, loud and aggressive in its beauty, and Sanji let it completely soak and enrapture him.

He flushed out the poison in his mind, he lifted off the boulder from his chest, his heart hammered to the beat of the music, his lungs blossomed with the power of his voice. Everything was different on that stage, the world was so much less ugly from up there, there were no problems when Sanji was enveloped by music, especially if he managed to never turn completely around and forget about the wrong person behind the drums.

Sanji was sexy again, feline in his movements, gorgeous in the way he interacted with his audience, he felt beautiful and meaningful, he felt like he belonged and he felt more loved than he could possibly imagine. He spotted all their usual fans in the front row, Duval and Hancock were there too, and instead of being annoyed by their presence he felt blessed for their loyalty.  
  
One song bled into the other, until that fatal moment struck. Sanji didn't know what was going to happen when the first notes of Shamandalie would resonate through the venue, so he had decided that closing their performance with it would be the best option.   
  
Up until then Sanji had been the Crow Prince, he had done his best to make everyone happy, to let the audience enjoy themselves, but now that that particular song was coming up he needed to shed the Prince's skin, he needed to slip back on his cracked armor, to let the broken edges cut through his skin again, it was time to bleed in front of the audience and expose his soul, but he didn't know if he was truly ready.  
  
He turned to Nami, accurately avoiding directly looking at Bartolomeo filling in for Zoro, his eyes were full of fear as he looked at her. She reached out a hand, beckoning for Sanji to get closer to her, and so he did.  
  
"You've done so great 'til now, you can do this!" Nami spoke in a tone loud enough to be heard over the crowd's noise, but soft enough to let only Sanji hear about it.  
  
Sanji frowned, shaking his head "I'm afraid to cry in front of everyone."  
  
Nami shrugged a shoulder "The audience will know that it's 'cause it means something to you. They'll love it." she encouraged him with a smile.  
  
Sanji sucked in a deep breath, then moved to pick up a small bottle of water from a crate placed on the far left of the stage. He took a large sip, smirking around the neck of the plastic bottle when people started chanting his name. Sanji set the bottle back down on the crate and moved towards the mic stand to speak into it.  
  
"I'm here, I'm here! I just needed a short break," he began, and a loud, excited yell erupted from the audience "this is gonna be the last song for tonight. It's a very beautiful song, one I hold very dear, and I hope I can do it the justice that it deserves." Sanji didn't announce the song, he wanted it to be a surprise in a way. He hung his head, closing his eyes as Nami played the intro to Shamandalie, cuing everyone else in.

Isn't it weird how music is just there, songs exist and it's like some of them can tell the story of your life as if they'd been crafted around it? As if the author knows you like the palm of their hand, they know what you've gone through, know your pain well enough to echo it with melodies and lyrics.

They can whisper or shout in your ears about that person who broke you all those years ago, about how much you loathe your enemy, it describes the way your heart broke when the person you loved went away and took a few shattered pieces with them.   
  
You forged memories through songs, even those you can't even stand a few notes of, you can listen to a track and remember so many things about your life, happy, miserable, angry, everything's absurdly framed by chords and words knowingly and perfectly mixed together.  
  
Shamandalie was Sanji's life in a song and only recently he had come to terms with this truth, and there was nothing that frightened him more than wearing his heart on his sleeve the way he was going to do that night, in front of all his fans.  
  
He could feel his throat knotting up in anticipation of the lyrics to come, words tangled around his vocal cords, feelings twisting up his stomach like a ball of yarn. He let out a shaky breath and quickly inhaled again, just in time to start out the song and hope for the best – having a shaky, unsteady voice as he sung would have probably destroyed him.  
  
Sanji's eyes were shut as he focused on his entire body and everything that went on with it, he needed to even out his breathing, keep his diaphragm in check and not let any tear roll its way down his cheeks.  
  
He managed to keep everything under control perfectly during the first stanza, everything sounded clean and perfect, just the way he wanted, though it could feel a little too impersonal to a foreign ear, not to mention that he was clearly holding back, keeping the real power of his voice caged.  
  
He could only wish to not get emotional as he feared, though, because once again the lyrics struck him hard and merciless, and his voice faltered during the first bridge, he sucked in a sharp breath that rustled metallic through the speakers and went on, his voice slightly hoarse as he sung out _"Sometimes we break the unbreakable, sometimes?"_  
  
He allowed himself to loosen up slightly as he went through the bridge one more time, this time feeling it more, letting it hit closer to home, until he finally opened his eyes and let his voice roam free out of its cage, powerful and thick with pain.  
  
 _"I was unable to cope with what you said  
Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind  
Child that I was, could not see the reason  
Feelings I had were but sham and I lie?"_  
  
He was shaking by that point, his stomach quivering with effort and emotion, his eyes fell shut again as he went on. He had always been a child, childish in the way he toyed with everyone's feelings, especially Zoro's, even if unknowingly. But Zoro knew perfectly, it was true that he had probably always seen their relationship clearer than Sanji could ever have, and all that clarity cut Sanji like a knife.  
  
He let it all out.

He let go.

He forgot about restraint.

Forgot about trying to hold back.

Refused to not show his suffering.  
  
He sung his heart out, all that pain and anger, anger towards Zoro for abandoning him, anger towards himself for letting Zoro slip through his fingers. Everything poured out along with his voice, along with the tears he allowed to stream down his face, free and unrestrained, his image of being heartless and cold didn't matter anymore.   
  
The last notes played by Nami's keyboard simmered down, leaving room for a thunderous applause, an applause followed by no hollering, by no whistling, something that had never happened before, and when Sanji lifted his eyes on the crowd everyone looked positively astonished, many faces were just as tear stricken as Sanji's, and he couldn't help but cover his mouth with his right hand, completely overwhelmed.

He turned to his band, everyone was standing as they received the applause and Nami and Luffy were beaming at Sanji. Sanji didn't dare touch his face, he had no idea of which part of his features the mixture of eyeshadow and eyeliner had reached, and even though he could either look like The Crow or a member of Dark Funeral, he really didn't want to mess with his makeup any further.  
  
He turned to the crowd again, clearing his throat twice before actually speaking into the mic without sounding like a strangled duck. Everyone was staring at him with this sort of dreamy look in their eyes, Duval was still bawling his eyeballs out while Hancock swatted his hands away as he tried to reach for her bat sleeves, probably to wipe his tears off on them.  
  
"Thank you so much, everyone! You're the best audience we could ask for!" Sanji started, he wasn't going to mention the fact that he had let his emotion get the best of him "This is it for tonight, we hope to see you again soon. As always, we are Murder Of Crows, goodnight!"  
  
Sanji didn't linger, didn't hesitate, he just waved to the crowd one last time before taking off in the direction of the ladder to leave the stage as quickly as his legs allowed him to.  
  
He ended up running straight into Franky, who barked out a laugh and held him by the shoulders as Usopp, Vivi and Brook quickly surrounded him with loud cheering and whooping. Sanji just wanted to go and fix his makeup without having to deal with anyone for at least a couple minutes, but of course he wasn't allowed to.  
  
"That was just amazing! Sanji you're a force of nature!" Brook cried out, an octave higher than usual.  
  
"You gave me chills, bro, I shed a few tears, not gonna lie!" Franky commented with a nod.  
  
"I nearly fucked up with the lights because I was just paralyzed… You're too good, Sanji!" Usopp admitted, a huge grin threatening to split his face.  
  
"Let him breathe, let him breathe!" Robin chimed in, batting Franky's hands off of Sanji's shoulders.

Vivi stepped in and enveloped the singer into a hug as she whispered "You did so great, Sanji." 

Sanji was dizzy, numb, he couldn't even react to all those frustrating attentions, but he managed to smile softly at everyone before raising a hand "Thanks I just…" he gestured in the direction of the changing rooms.  
  
"Oh sure, sure!" Franky said as he stepped aside to let him through.  
  
Sanji managed to slip past him before the rest of the band could catch up with everyone. He saw Freakshow approaching out of the corner of his eye and sped up into the changing room, making sure to lock the door behind him.   
  
Sanji rested his back against the scraped wooden surface, his chest feeling hollow, his entire body drained of all its energy. He couldn't believe what he had done, he didn't know whether he was regretting baring his soul like he had just done or if it had been as liberating as he'd hoped.   
  
He felt a nasty sensation brewing into the pit of his stomach, something very much similar to anguish and shame in the wake of that stunt he had decided to pull. Sure, the audience had seemed to love the song and the absolutely genuine way in which he sung it, but what would more neutral people think of him? He was just a stupid faggot who cried during gigs, what a fucking pathetic show to witness. Surely Eustass and the others didn't want him to share the stage with him any longer.  
  
A couple knocks on the door made him violently jerk back to reality.  
  
"Fuck…" he whispered "What?"  
  
"Blackleg," a deep, throaty voice called out "We're up in ten, Death March is the third song, still up for it?"  
  
Sanji recognized Kidd's voice and his lower lip trembled as he tried to pull himself back together "Y-yeah… Sure. Just gotta–" he cleared his throat "I'm touching up my makeup, I'll be out on time."  
  
"You still remember the words, yeah?"   
  
"Of course. Go on."  
  
Remember them? The lyrics to that song were permanently seared into his mind, and in that very moment they were whispering into his ear as a reminder of who he really was.  
  
Sanji heard the heavy stomping of Kidd's boots as he walked away from the door, and just when he was able to heave a relieved breath someone else knocked again.  
  
"What now?!" Sanji growled.  
  
"It's… It's Ace."  
  
Sanji's eyelids fell shut. Why was the universe still so angry at him? Hadn't he paid his dues, already?  
  
"Unless you need to change or something I'm not letting you in." Sanji warned him.  
  
There were a few moments of silence in which Sanji thought that Ace was trying to come up with some excuse, then the brunet spoke again.  
  
"I promise I'll just use the shower."  
  
Sanji stared blankly at the door, then shook his head. Did he really need to be naked around Sanji?  
  
"Whatever." Sanji sighed as he unlocked the door.  
  
He didn't wait for Ace to step inside, he moved towards the mirror he had used to do his makeup, and finally witnessed the aftermath of Shamandalie. It didn't look as bad as he had thought, but he did have a few faded, black streaks smeared down his cheeks. Sanji sat down to fix the mess and saw Ace staring at him through the mirror.  
  
"Weren't you gonna get a shower?" Sanji muttered as he started to remove the streaks from his face.  
  
Ace shrugged "I just wanted to know if–"  
  
Sanji turned around, his eyebrows shooting up "Just fucking go get the damn shower!"  
  
Ace rolled his eyes "Alright!" he huffed and finally made his way to the showers.  
  
Sanji shook his head as he finally turned around to finish what he had started, and tried really hard not to peek at Ace while he heard the rustling of clothes being removed.  
  
He had no idea what Ace's problem was, nor did he know what the hell he wanted to talk about, since they had stopped speaking after their last arguments. Sanji didn't know if he wanted an apology, or if he wanted to apologize. What Ace had done was still something that they should have mutually agreed upon but he had decided to just go and confess everything without Sanji's consent. He didn't feel like going over everything once more, no matter what, sure he knew that they both shared the same amount of blame, or maybe Sanji had a bigger slice of it for convincing Ace to have drunken sex with him, but it wasn't like Ace hadn't jerked him off, too.  
  
Suddenly Sanji was brought back to that night, scenes from their intoxicated messing around flashed before him, and not too long after his mind presented him with what had happened the morning after. He remembered Ace's panic, the way in which he desperately pulled at his own hair, the despair in his voice, but also the stubbornness when he kept insisting that they should have told Zoro everything.  
  
Sanji kept himself from pressing both hands against his eyes to shut off his brain, to keep the memories from flowing back in and tear him apart once again. He couldn't let his mind wander to that part of his memory where Zoro told him he never wanted to see him again.   
  
He swallowed thickly and listened to the shower door closing and the water being turned on, he heard a soft curse from Ace and then Sanji looked at himself in the mirror. He needed to fix his damn makeup and not think about anything else, he was just going to masterly avoid Ace just like he had always done lately, so that he didn't have to face him alone again.  
  
He touched up his face the best he could and left the changing room before Ace could come out of the shower. Freakshow were already on stage, he had no idea of how many songs they had already played, so he quickly reached the backstage to see if any of his friends were around.

Sanji recognized the song that was playing in the background but could place it in the setlist, nor could he remember the title to save his life, it didn't matter though, someone would have been sent to get him if it was time for him to hop on stage.

There was no one in the leisure area, none of his friends, at least, just a couple guys that he knew were part of the Freakshow crew. Not that he remembered their names, of course, they were two weird guys practically attached to the hip that he had seen several times during the tour but had never spoken to. One of them was always wearing an odd as hell hat shaped like a penguin head, the other a turquoise and pink gatsby hat. Sanji stared at them for a while, deciding if it was actually safe to get into a conversation with them, then he just shrugged and walked up to the duo.  
  
"Hey, uh… You're Freakshow's crew, right?" Sanji started.  
  
The gatsby hat boy looked up at him, or at least Sanji assumed he was, because the cap was pressed over his eyes so much that he couldn't even see them.   
  
"Yeah! You're Sanji! Hi!"   
  
Sanji cracked a small smile, he wasn't really in the mood for pleasantries, but he needed to be as civilized as he could.   
  
"I am, yes. Sorry, I can't remember your names." the singer lied through his teeth.  
  
"I'm Shachi, and he's Penguin." The gatsby hat boy replied, jabbing his thumb towards the guy beside him who raised his hand in greeting.  
  
"Hey there."  
  
Penguin. It was that simple. Also, he truly hoped that wasn't the guy's real name.   
  
Sanji tried not to look too weirded out as he went on speaking "That's right!" he gave a nod "So, do you know when are they performing Death March? I gotta be on stage with them."   
  
"Ah yeah, they're two songs in, you're up next." Shachi gave him a thumbs up.  
  
"Oh," Sanji raised his thumb in return "alright, thank you."   
  
"No prob." Shachi nodded, then moved along to go get something to drink from the fridge with Penguin.  
  
Sanji heaved out a long, shaky sigh. He was on time for the song, but at the same time he was being a bit nervous about going back on stage. He knew that he surely wasn't going to get emotional during Death March, yet he still didn't feel a hundred percent ready to face the crowd again.  
  
He turned around to make his way to the stage ladder and found all his friends – except Ace, of course – grouped there, enjoying the show. He stopped by Luffy and Usopp who were standing not too far behind from Nami and Vivi.

"See, I told you he'd come back on time." Robin announced with a small smirk.

Bartolomeo turned around as soon as he heard Robin's voice, the grin on his face fading as soon as he met Sanji's. Good, the last thing he wanted was having Bartolomeo speak to him.  
  
"Hey, there. We thought you weren't coming back!" Usopp greeted him with a pat on his back.  
  
"Hey, it's almost time for you!" Luffy grinned at him.  
  
Sanji gave a small smirk "Yeah, I'm still alive."  
  
Vivi and Nami turned to look at them and stepped closer to Sanji.  
  
"Everything alright?" Nami asked as she reached out to squeeze Sanji's hand, affectionately.  
  
Sanji nodded "Sure, my lady." he cracked a crooked grin.  
  
Nami rolled her eyes, laughing softly "Good."  
  
"He's being flirty again. He's fine." Vivi commented with a smirk.  
  
It still felt so incredibly weird to have everyone care about him so much, he thought everyone was going to hate him forever for what had happened, he couldn't even begin to wrap his head around their kindness. Actually, he couldn't wrap his head about being loved as much as he was, period.  
  
Sanji's lips stretched into a bashful smile, his gaze dropping to the floor until he heard Freakshow finishing their song and the crowd booming with all their adoration for them. He perked up, knowing that soon he was going to be called up on stage, he started feeling all the nervousness spike up with anticipation.  
  
"The next song," Kidd's amplified voice resonated through the venue, sending a shiver of anxiety down Sanji's spine "it's a cover, by Motionless In White," he paused when the audience cheered at the name of the band "and to make it even better, I wanna call here on stage my good friend Sanji, the Crow Prince!"   
  
There was a roar of excitement from the crowd, and it served as the perfect fuel for Sanji, he felt a rush of adrenaline course through him as his friends all cheered him on and he finally went up the ladder as the Crow Prince.  
  
He could do this, he could still feel agitation tugging at his guts, but the crowd was so amazing and welcoming that he couldn't wait to actually start singing.  
  
He grinned at the band, even at Law who was smirking at him in a feline fashion, and as he walked past Bonney to reach Kidd's side the girl spanked him, making him gasp and causing everyone to laugh and catcall. He turned to stare at Bonney for a moment, but she cracked the ultimate shit-eating grin and was too beautiful for Sanji to do anything but smirk in return.  
  
"You can't seem to be able to get rid of me, tonight." Sanji said into the microphone that Kidd had just handed to him.  
  
"We like you too much." Bonney quickly replied into her microphone, making everyone laugh again.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "I can't blame you." he said as he gestured to his entire body, the crowd exploding in response.  
  
"Yeah, yeah… Don't get too excited everyone… Not yet." Law spoke at last, capturing everyone's attention "Not before having a fucking Death March!"  
  
More shouting from the audience, the lights dimmed, and as the music started Sanji felt in his element again, the atmosphere enrapturing him and making him feel right where he belonged.   
  
The entirety of the band, minus Kidd, was shouting into their microphones the title of the song, sounding a lot like a stadium chant while the crowd screamed back at them, and Sanji decided to go with the flow and join them. Not too long after, Kidd chimed in with the first stanza of the song, beginning to tell the tale of a dark lord announcing his take over of the world.  
  
 _"This is a new world order and it's changing the game  
So step right up to go down in flames  
I want your sons, want your daughters  
All creatures of the night  
So wave your flag if you're ready to fight"_  
  
All the while Sanji was dancing to the intense beat of the music, letting it flow through his veins and possess him completely. He got closer to Kidd when he screamed the last sentence of the stanza, then began to sing the bridge along with him as they looked at each other in the eyes. There was a slight light of confusion in Eustass' eyes at the beginning, because Sanji's smirk was devious enough to make anyone shudder.  
  
 _"Bringing insects to their knees  
Catching them in webs I've weaved  
You were in my dream last night  
Begging me to take a bite"_  
  
At the end of the bridge, Sanji snapped his teeth at Kidd, then licked his lips in a way that made the other singer grin crookedly. Sanji felt powerful and euphoric like the good ol' times as he faced again the crowd to sing the chorus on his own.  
  
 _"I indulge the hypocrisy and I devour the pain  
I give into the ecstasy but the cold dark remains,"_  
  
Sanji cupped his chest, then slid his hand down his entire body, stopping to briefly cup his own crotch.  
  
 _"I control my own destiny and I won't suffer in vain  
My enemy will not be the end of me, no no."_  
  
The beat dropped again and Sanji headbanged once, then danced away from Kidd to leave him alone again as he continued his tale.   
  
_"This is the new disorder, it's the unsolved case  
And it's bringing the rage straight to your face  
So send in the clowns, add fuel to the fire  
They cut your throat just to preach to the choir"_  
  
By that time Sanji had reached the other side of the stage to sing to the audience, but Law blocked his way with an arched eyebrow and a sly smirk that promised nothing good. Sanji tilted his head to the side as he began to sing directly to Law.  
  
 _"All is fair in love and war  
I'm still rotten to the core  
So won't somebody start this shit?  
Fuck 'em all, I'm over it" _  
  
Law's smirk turned into a grin when Sanji walked behind him and slung an arm around his neck to sing the chorus again, his hand roaming freely along Law's neck and chest, finding the buttons of his uniform and popping them open one after other.  
  
His predator side was back in full force, the song serving as a perfect trigger. Sanji's sensuality was exploding on that stage as he heavily flirted with Law as everyone watched, the screams from the crowd making him even more elated and lascivious. He looked over at Kidd and beckoned him to come join them in the madness of grinding one against the other, and Eustass obliged without hesitation as if he was spellbound.  
  
Soon enough Sanji found himself pressed between the bassist and the singer, and as he moved his free hand behind him to cup the side of Kidd's neck he pushed back into Kidd's crotch as he sung the chorus. He heard a faint moan escape the redhead's lips and a smirk curved his lips as he felt Kidd rocking back ever so softly against him before walking away to sing his other stanza. Sanji dipped his head forward to lick a long, slow streak up Law's neck, making him groan and grin right after.

It was like demon possession the swift change in Sanji's behavior, he couldn't control that side of him that surfaced back unexpectedly just by standing on that stage and feeling that uncontrollable urge to be as sexual as he could.

It was all mainly in the rhythm and sound of Death March and in the lyrics that summoned that part of Sanji that was there naturally, the thrill of having everyone bend and twist at his will just because of how irresistible he was. Sanji thrived on that thrill, even if it was just temporary.  
  
The performance lasted for a total of five minutes, but for some reasons it felt so much longer. Sanji was completely intoxicated by it, and both Freakshow and the audience were left disheveled in his wake, as he stomped off the stage with a grin still plastered on his lips.   
  
There was mild disconcert in Nami and Vivi's expressions, but Sanji didn't even pay attention to it as the others praised and congratulated him on the great job. He was feeling good, his heart wasn't trying to poke a hole through his chest and he didn't feel like dying, he was blissful and proud of his performance, and a beer was definitely what he deserved.  
  
Sanji sat down on in the center of one of the couches, an arm draped over the back as he sipped slowly on the cold lager, relishing the delicious cold temperature of the drink as it washed down his tired throat. He was so content and pleased with himself that only when the cushions dipped at his left he realized that Ace had just sat next to him, making beer go up his nose.  
  
"I wasn't expecting a warm welcome, but this is a bit much." Ace commented with a frown.  
  
"F-fuck off!" Sanji coughed into the back of his fist, trying not to spill what was left of his beer.  
  
"I'll only be a minute." Ace insisted.  
  
Sanji coughed for fifteen more seconds, then after clearing his throat three times he wiped a stray tear from his right eye and aimed a deadly glare to the man sitting beside him.  
  
"I don't wanna talk, nor listen to you. Just leave me be, I'm in my little piece of heaven at the moment why are you so eager to push me back down to hell?" Sanji croaked, his lungs still holding a few drops of beer inside.  
  
"How poetic," Ace smiled softly "I actually wanted to tell you something that could make you feel slightly better." he shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow "Did you not listen to anything I said? I feel good, right now."  
  
"Yeah, but how long is it gonna last?" Ace retorted.  
  
Sanji's brow furrowed. Of course he knew that what he was feeling was bound to be only temporary, but if Ace wouldn't bug him as much as he was it could have at least lasted the entire night.  
  
"Look… I really don't wanna talk to you." Sanji got up from the couch "Don't follow me around, I wanna be serene at least for a few more hours." and with those words he turned around to make his way back to the backstage to enjoy the rest of Freakshow's gig.  
  
"It's about Zoro."  
  
Sanji froze on the spot, the tin in his hand creaked under the pressure of his fingers. Of course it was about Zoro, what else could this be about?  
  
"I don't care." Sanji growled lowly as he resumed his pace, leaving Ace behind.  
  
Now he was a hundred percent sure that he wasn't supposed to be happy, nor even just relaxed, he was meant to obsess and rack his brains over Zoro for the rest of his pathetic life. Why did Ace have to be such a dick? Couldn't he wait at least a day to bring up his goddamn brother?   
  
That beer wasn't going to be enough, now.  
  
Sanji dropped the half empty can into the nearest bin and pushed his way into the venue as everyone's attention was focused on the band rocking the stage at the moment, and walked over to the bar to get something stronger than a simple lager. A vodka cocktail was going to do the trick, something fruity and fresh, he ordered up and slightly swayed to the beat of the music as he waited.  
  
He felt two soft taps on his shoulder, and when he turned around there were Duval and other six people from the fanclub that he had founded in Sanji's honor. Normally he would be slightly irritated to see those people, but that night Sanji could cling to everything that irradiated affection towards him and made him feel important.  
  
"Hello, there!" Sanji grinned, and if the music wasn't that loud he would have probably heard the people standing in front of him screech in excitement.  
  
"The show was amazing, you were so amazing! Oh god, you're the absolute best!" Duval began with the usual shower of compliments, and Sanji contently let himself get soaked in every word.  
  
Once the cocktail was finally in his hands, he took photos with each one of his fans, and when the glass was half empty he even French kissed one of them, just to see him almost cry and pass out afterwards.  
  
As time went by and Freakshow's concert was almost over, the small crowd around Sanji became slightly larger and he took pictures with everyone and signed probably a couple dozens CDs and posters.   
  
That was the life he wanted, the best part about being in a band apart from making music, being in close contact with the people who loved him and made his dreams come true was amazing and rewarding.  
  
He spent almost an hour hanging out and talking (even if the loud music and the alcohol surely weren't making it easy) to his fans, then when he heard Kidd announce that he and Bonney were going to host the aftershow DJ set, he took it as his cue to go backstage and give the people he had tore away from Freakshow back to them. Sanji promised he was going to come back out soon, and after someone in the crowd grabbed his ass he scowled and left in a haste.  
  
Sanji couldn't tell who had actually reached out to grope him, but in that moment it was inappropriate and if he would have found out the culprit he would have probably kicked his ass. He tried not to think about it too much as he walked backstage, his friends were all ready to go dance, but Brook was bidding everyone goodnight as usual.  
  
"You're going?" Sanji asked with a frown, he still hadn't even reached them.  
  
Everyone turned to him, surprised.  
  
"Oh, here you are!" Luffy beamed at him.  
  
"We thought you'd left us." Nami commented with a cocked eyebrow.  
  
"I was just running away from Ace." Sanji answered bluntly, and everyone's attention focused briefly on Ace.  
  
"Well… To answer your question I am indeed leaving. It's quite late, already." Brook explained.  
  
"Aw, alright." Sanji shrugged a shoulder "Drive safe, yes?"  
  
Brook nodded with a smile "Don't drink too much."   
  
Sanji snorted in reply.  
  
Brook arched an eyebrow as he took a look around as if he had forgotten about something "Where is Barto?" he asked.

Sanji rolled his eyes so hard that he thought he was going to pass out. He hadn't even noticed that his ugly mug was missing, he had never heard him speak all night.

"He said he was going to help out his friends from the Freakshow crew," Luffy began, then sideways eyed Sanji "I don't think he felt very comfortable tonight."

"That's too bad, he did such a good job, tonight." Robin commented, and Sanji's head snapped immediately in her direction.

"Please..." Sanji snorted, shaking his head "He was acceptable."

The truth was that Sanji hadn't even paid attention to what was going on behind the drums, because he had ignored Bartolomeo so much that he had completely forgotten he even existed.

"Quit being so awful to him, he did a great job." Nami let out an exasperated sigh.

"Why do you defend him so much, do you love him?" Sanji asked in a weird high pitch that weirded even himself out. The cocktail was definitely doing a number on him, even if just slightly.

  
There was a pause, and everyone stared at Sanji with furrowed eyebrows, until Nami finally spoke.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, dropping Bartolomeo's subject and shifting the attention to something else.

"No?" Sanji answered "Not yet." he precised with a smirk.  
  
Nami sighed "Well don't drink too much, 'cause I don't wanna clean up vomit during our trip back, alright?"  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes "Alright, alright."  
  
Vivi tugged on Nami's arm, tipping her head in the direction of the dancefloor that was right out of the backstage door.  
  
"Let's go dance, the gig's over." Vivi smirked to her girlfriend.  
  
"Sure, baby." Nami smirked back at her, then her eyes went back to Sanji "You comin'?"  
  
Sanji jabbed his thumb in the general direction of the changing rooms "I need to use the toilet first, then I'll be right with you."  
  
"Alright." Nami nodded, her expression still seemed concerned but Sanji didn't give it too much thought.  
  
"Let's goooo!" Luffy yelled as he jumped right on Usopp's back, nearly knocking him over.  
  
"Fuck, Luffy!" Usopp cried, but Luffy pressed a kiss to his pouting lips and shut him right up.

"Will you do me the honor of dancing with me?" Franky asked Robin, the girl laughed and shook her head.

"Of course, silly." she smiled and kissed Franky back when he bent over to peck her lips.

Sanji rolled his eyes at all the lovey dovey-ness surrounding him, then moved towards the changing rooms. He needed to use the toilet before going to dance if he didn't want to pee himself while being at it.

 

 

* * *  
  


 

  
He took his time, regaining the greatest part of the senses that alcohol had numbed, but kept his mind fairly empty. He wanted to try and enjoy the rest of the night as much as he could, and dancing with his friends was something he definitely looked forward to.  
  
Sanji didn't know for how long he'd actually been in there, no longer than twenty minutes that he was sure of, but curiously he couldn't see anyone cleaning the backstage as they usually would by that time of the night. Had everyone gone dancing? Even those who were supposed to be working?  
  
Sanji shrugged it off and began to make his way to the backstage door, when a figure emerged from it and an uneasy feeling settled on his stomach. Sanji stopped in his tracks to observe the figure as it approached him, sinister and unknown, the person coming forth wasn't someone he had seen around yet.  
  
"Sanji?" an unknown voice called for him.  
  
"Yeah?" the singer furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
The man that had called out his name came closer, and now Sanji could make out his features. He looked burly but well kept, his blond hair was kept short and he had a pair of glasses perched up on his nose, the dark lenses made them look less useful for a sight problem. He was definitely a douche, only douches wore sunglasses at night, at least Franky kept them pushed over his head when it was dark.  
  
"I'm a fan of yours, I wanted to compliment you in person." the man said as he finally pushed the glasses over his head and smirked "My name's Bellamy."  
  
Sanji nodded, unimpressed "Thank you, Bellamy. But you shouldn't be backstage." he explained politely.  
  
Bellamy laughed, but there was nothing innocent about that laugh.  
  
"Well, my compliments really aren't for the public, this is why I wanted to come directly here, where there's no indiscreet eyes." Bellamy's smirk turned into a devious grin as he stepped closer, Sanji didn't budge.  
  
"Really?" Sanji smirked himself, not because he was pleased, but because he was amused by the guy's nerve.  
  
"I have a car, parked out here… It's quite roomy in the backseat." Bellamy went on, his fingers moving to swipe across Sanji's arm.  
  
"Thank you, but no thank you." Sanji gave a nod, the smirk still plastered on his face.  
  
"C'mon, what is it that you want, money?" Bellamy asked with a raised brow "My friends said it would be much easier to get into your pants."  
  
The smirk on Sanji's face suddenly ached, along with his chest. Was he seriously treating him like a prostitute? He wanted to pay to have sex with him in the back of his car?  
  
"I'm sorry but… What the fuck are you talking about?" Sanji's polite act dropped as anger began to take over.  
  
"Everyone knows you'd fuck everyone if they'll ask nicely enough. I'm not too good at wooing, but I have money." Bellamy's blunt words stabbed Sanji right into his guts.  
  
"W-what?" Sanji's lips trembled along with his confidence.  
  
Was it true? Was that the word that spread around about Sanji? That he was literally a whore?  
  
"Do I need to get down on my knees and beg? Because I was kind of hoping it'd be the other way around." Bellamy went on, his voice laced with annoyance.  
  
"I'm not a whore, you fucking asshole." Sanji growled lowly, his jaw stiffening and his hands balling up into fists.  
  
Bellamy laughed "Alright, look, are two hundreds enough?" he asked as he reached into his pocket for his wallet.  
  
Sanji's hand rapidly went to wrap around Bellamy's throat, his fingers pressing into his flesh hard enough to bruise the skin. "You need to fuck off if you value your life."

Sanji read fear and surprise in Bellamy's eyes, but it was only temporary, as a laugh erupted from his throat, strangled and grotesque. Sanji's eyebrows twitched, his confidence faltering once again as he tried to keep a firm grip around the man's throat.

"What are you gonna do, choke me to death?" Bellamy croaked out.  
  
"You aren't even worth the trouble." Sanji shook his head as he suddenly let go of Bellamy.  
  
The man coughed and laughed at the same time, rubbing his neck briefly where Sanji had left a slight red mark.  
  
"You don't scare me, you know that?" Bellamy went on as he stepped ahead, invading Sanji's personal space and making him take a couple steps back.  
  
"Neither do you, you're just disgusting." Sanji snarled between gritted teeth.   
  
He wanted to kick the guy's face in, but at the same time he didn't want to cause any ruckus that could somehow compromise the band.  
  
"Come on, I know you wanna get away from here, spend some time with me and my cock…" Bellamy grinned, his hand moving to grab his own crotch.  
  
"I told you to fuck off, already!" Sanji repeated, this time louder than before.  
  
"Don't fucking yell," Bellamy growled, grabbing Sanji by the collar of his fishnet shirt.

Sanji heard it tear up with the roughness of the tug, and looked down at it to see a huge hole ripped into the front.

"Don't you fucking touch me again!" Sanji roared as he threw a punch that hit Bellamy square into his nose.  
  
The man shouted in pain, letting go of Sanji to cover his injured face as blood dripped down from his nostrils and over his lips and chin.  
  
"I'm gonna fucking kill you, you faggot!" Bellamy yelled as he launched himself at Sanji, who was fast enough to dodge him and watch as he flew face first to the floor.  
  
"Yeah, because wanting to fuck me makes you straight as hell!" Sanji commented as he stamped a boot right in the middle of Bellamy's back, wheezing as he boiled with anger and fear. That was a way unexpected turn of the night, one that he definitely didn't need.  
  
"Is everything alright?" another voice called from behind Sanji, and he froze up. If it was another pervert he was definitely going to lose it.  
  
"No." Sanji grunted.  
  
"What's going on here?!" another voice asked as it approached.  
  
Bellamy tried to push Sanji's leg away but he wasn't budging.  
  
"He attacked me." Sanji explained simply, appreciating the fact that they weren't questioning the fact that he was keeping Bellamy on the ground to prevent him from lashing out again.  
  
Finally the owners of the voices entered Sanji's sight, and he realized they were two men from the security service of the venue.  
  
"We'll handle him, don't worry." A large, bald man reached down to grab onto Bellamy and roughly pulled him back to his feet.   
  
Sanji knew that the man was about to say something regarding the blood drying underneath Bellamy's nose, but the way in which Bellamy tried right away to launch himself at Sanji again made him change his mind, limiting himself to restrain Bellamy.  
  
"If you don't knock it off immediately I'm gonna taser you." the security guard threatened, and Bellamy stopped fucking around.  
  
"You alright, sir?" the other man was slightly smaller than the bald one, but he was still muscular and with a jet black military haircut.  
  
"Yeah…" Sanji grumbled as his eyes didn't leave Bellamy's.   
  
The bastard was still smirking at him as blood caked his face, and Sanji truly wanted to knock out all of his teeth. He managed to tear his eyes away and look at the man who was talking to him   
  
"You should have prevented him from getting in here in the first place." Sanji went on, dry.  
  
The guard nodded "You're right sir, we're very sorry he managed to slip past us. We're gonna have him banned from the venue and get him to the cops."  
  
Sanji huffed "You better."  
  
"We'll take care of him." The bald man nodded and pushed Bellamy ahead to leave the backstage.  
  
Sanji glared at him as he walked past him, then groaned when Bellamy's lips puckered as though he was blowing him a kiss. He was still shaken by the fact that he had been attacked like that, but anger was still coursing through his veins.  
  
The singer remained alerted until he saw all three men finally disappear, but as soon as he was alone again he felt like his knees were made of butter and he had to rush to one of the nearest couches to take a seat before he collapsed. The adrenaline that had been filling him up had completely seeped out of him, leaving place to a sense of utter horror.   
  
Was this what people thought of him? That he was that easy to lure into a bed or a car, or whatever place they fancied to fuck him in?   
  
Every time he had shared a bed, a backseat or a stall it had always been because he had wanted to, because he had felt like, but that didn't make him a slut. No one was entitled to come up to him and treat him like some prostitute, or someone who'd fuck anyone just because they asked him to.  
  
It wasn't just that, though. There was more, something that Sanji wasn't yet ready to accept. Sanji had never really cared about what people might have thought of him, he had always been open about his sexuality and his sex drive. What was really gnawing at Sanji was the fact that if Bellamy had started that conversation a month or two ago he wouldn't even had had to mention money at all, Sanji would have probably accepted right away, because it made him feel wanted and powerful, no matter what Bellamy could have thought of him, Sanji wouldn't have cared.  
  
Sanji didn't want to have sex with Bellamy, sure, but it had been quite a long time since he had wanted to have sex with anyone at all. Ace had been the last one, and it hadn't even given him that rush he had always needed, it had just brought him endless pain, yet his _'fuck the pain away'_ mindset had never kicked back in again.  
  
It wasn't because of sex itself and he knew it, it wasn't because sex had caused him pain, it was because the only person he would have really wanted to have any intimate contact with was the person that didn't want to see him anymore.  
  
The realization rained down on him like the coldest of showers, leaving him breathless. Sanji didn't want anyone else anymore, every fiber of his being was longing for what he had lost, he wasn't driven by pure lust anymore and it was the scariest thing he could think of.  
  
He loved Zoro so deeply, so desperately that no one else in the world mattered anymore, no matter how incredibly attractive or flattering, Sanji didn't care about them. Never in his life Sanji had ever felt that way about another human being, not even towards the girl he had briefly dated back in highschool, nor anyone else.   
  
He should have known, he should have been able to make that connection sooner, to come to the realization that he had truly and completely fallen in love with Zoro, but he wasn't used to that, he wasn't used to experience love the way other people usually did, because he didn't believe in its existence, let alone in its power.

He sat on the couch alone, helpless, for what felt like days, unable to move as Bellamy's harassment replayed in his mind, all his hurtful words and all the anger and fear they had infused Sanji with.

His brain went back to that time in which Zoro had told him he had behaved like a slut, not exactly using the precise word maybe, but the meaning was that indeed. When Sanji had tried to assure Murder Of Crows a deal with Freakshow by sleeping with Law, he had done it naturally, mindlessly, it had looked like the most efficient way to obtain something he wanted, back then, but Zoro's words had cut him like a knife.  
  
Sanji thought that his most effective weapon were his sex skills for so long, that he had forgotten how valuable he actually was, or maybe he had simply never acknowledged his talents, because everything was clouded by his self-destructive and self-loathing behavior.  
  
Zoro's absence was making him realize many things, above all how we only really recognize how much we needed someone when they're no longer around us, and also how much Zoro always encouraged him to show his true colors and to value himself and his talents. Sanji could never truly see that, he mostly dismissed everything Zoro said as either annoying or insulting, but now he could clearly see that Zoro only ever wanted the best for Sanji.  
  
Why did he have to leave, then? Why did he have to abandon Sanji in the hostility of the world, when clearly he was his pillar of strength?  
  
If Zoro really did love him as much as the others claimed, why couldn't he just say so? Why couldn't he come back and wipe away all that awful pain?  
  
"No, shit…" Sanji groaned softly when a single, fat tear streamed down his right eye, threatening to ruin the touch up job he'd done a few minutes before.  
  
He finally decided that staying there to ruminate and rack his brains over Zoro and all of his feelings was useless, perhaps pointless… It wasn't going to change anything, not for the better at least, so he picked himself up and rose back to his feet, his friends were waiting for him after all.  
  
Sanji's eyes went to the spot on the floor where just moments before Bellamy was lying, rooted to the spot by his boot, and a cold shiver ran up his spine, making him hesitate for a moment before he gathered the courage to walk back out into the venue.  
  
He pushed the black, wooden door open and found a security guard just right outside, he didn't look like the ones that had helped him out before, but he appreciate his presence. Sanji looked ahead of him, into the dark blue light that was interrupted by stroboscopic flashes, the loud music enveloped him and he recognized the classic goth rock song playing: Temple Of Love by The Sisters Of Mercy.   
  
_Oh, the irony._  
  
He couldn't quite make out the presence of his friends on the dancefloor but he knew they ought to be there, somewhere. Sanji began to push his way through the crowd, walking to the beat of the song and trying not to get hit by the people dancing. He was kind of enjoying not being recognized by the fans, but he knew it wasn't going to last long.  
  
Sanji decided to make his way to the bar once again, this time he wanted to be drunk and not feel anything but the bliss of dancing to Goth Rock and EBM music with his friends – whenever he was going to find them – and not think about anything else anymore.   
  
He had just ordered his cocktail when a hand moved to rest on his shoulder, making him flinch and whip his head back in a mixture of surprise and fear.  
  
"Wanna dance?" Nami yelled from above the loud music, a shit-eating grin spreading on her lips.  
  
Sanji sighed, relieved to see that it was only Nami and not some other pervert. He nodded as he grabbed his glass and let Nami guide him to the part of the dancefloor where the rest of their friends was going wild.   
  
Luffy and Usopp were being their uncoordinated, ridiculous selves as usual, as they danced in a manner completely different from everyone else and that definitely didn't match the song playing. Franky was trying to look as cool as possible, as he exaggerated each and every move he made while Robin didn't even pay much attention to them, she was just dancing enraptured by the music, looking like a goddess all the while.

Sanji had to scrunch his nose upon seeing Ace and Vivi dancing together, but then again they were just facing each other as they danced, and soon enough they spotted Nami and Sanji. Clearly they were just waiting for Nami to go fetch the blond. Bartolomeo wasn't around, he had probably just decided to spend the rest of the night with the guys from Freakshow... Wise choice.

"Everything alright?" Nami asked, this time leaning in to speak directly into Sanji's ear.  
  
"Yeah!" Sanji lied through his teeth, nodding to let Nami know that everything was fine.  
  
Nami nodded as well as she resumed dancing, and as Andrew Eldritch kept singing through the huge speakers of the club, Sanji thought that he was going to need more than just one drink to make it through the rest of the night, with such songs blaring through the venue and a bunch of couples surrounding him.  
  
 _"With the sunlight died and night above me  
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain inside  
You run for cover in the temple of love  
You run for another it's all the same  
For the wind will blow and throw your walls aside  
With the fire from the fireworks up above  
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain  
You run for cover in the temple of love  
Shine like thunder cry like rain  
And the temple love grows old and strong  
But the wind blows stronger cold and long  
And the temple of love will fall before us  
Black wind calls my name to you no more"_  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

Zoro hadn't had dinner alone with his parents like… Ever. He seriously didn't remember ever sitting by the dinner table without at least one of his brothers next to him. There was no catalyst between he and his fathers, and after everything that had happened he didn't know whether he was going to survive something like that.  
  
The atmosphere throughout the entire meal was anything but relaxed, filled with awkward silences and Zoro trying to avoid the men's gazes at all costs. He could hear Shanks nudging or softly kicking Mihawk from underneath the table, most definitely to encourage him to get Zoro to speak, but it always ended with a glaring contest and low threats through gritted teeth.   
  
Pathetic, but at least it got the job done, and Zoro didn't have to say a word until he was able to sneak off to his room.  
  
It was the very first time that he was home when his brothers and the rest of the band were off playing a gig somewhere, and it was eating him up inside. There was a storm in his mind and a hurricane in his chest, he really wanted to just sleep the rest of that excruciatingly long night off, but he knew that his brain would never allow it.  
  
Zoro looked around his room, trying to figure out what he could do to kill time and possibly wear out both his mind and body so that he would pass out as easy as he could, and his dark eyes stopped on the most obvious object: his electric drum set.  
  
He didn't use it very often, he mainly used it to learn tricky parts of songs he hadn't studied already, and to do some practice when he was younger and the band still hadn't started out. His actual drumkit was at Franky's, but the one he was staring at was going to be a perfect way to blow off some steam, he hadn't practiced in quite some time and that was something that rarely happened to him.  
  
Zoro moved the set from the corner it had been stashed in and placed it between the TV and the foot of the bed, being the drums small they didn't take up too much space and fit perfectly where he had set it. He plugged it to the socket in the wall, plugged his set of headphones, put them on and sat on the stool before adjusting its height and the placement of the pedal.   
  
He couldn't do very complex pieces since it was only a small drumkit, but even coming up with a random heavy solo was going to get the job done. He tried setting the volume in a way that wasn't going to pierce his eardrums, tried hitting one of the toms a couple times, then started out his own personal jam session.  
  
He drummed for a couple hours, playing random solos that came naturally to his wrists, and melting them with drum sections of songs such as Motörhead's Ace Of Spades, Disturbed's Down With The Sickness, Metallica's Master Of Puppets, Pantera's Cowboys From Hell and a couple songs that were actually Murder Of Crows'.

Zoro's entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his Avenged Sevenfold sleeveless shirt was completely soaked, his hair damp and sticking to his forehead and other random directions, his arms were slightly sore and the tips of his fingers tingled with the effort. He was tired, his energy had almost been totally drained from his body, his mind had become blissfully empty.  
  
He needed a shower. Or maybe he could indulge in an actual bath, to soothe the tension in his muscles and every other small ache in his limbs, he just hoped the water wasn't going to wake him up instead, but maybe if it was warm enough it'll just help him sleep better.  
  
As Zoro opened the door of his room he flinched in surprise as he found Shanks right behind it, who flinched even harder than Zoro had.  
  
"Are you spying on me?!" Zoro almost shouted out.  
  
"No, no, no! I was gonna… Check on you!" Shanks replied, not sounding very convincing.  
  
"By doing what? Peeping through the keyhole or pressing your ear to the door?" Zoro growled on.   
  
He couldn't believe Shanks would do that, it was such an invasion of his privacy.  
  
"I wasn't…!" Shanks huffed "Look Zoro, you barely ate and didn't say one word during dinner. Your father and I were worrying, that's all." he explained with a shrug.  
  
"So you admit that you were spying on me." Zoro grunted, his arms moving to fold over his chest.  
  
"No!" Shanks rolled his eyes "I was gonna knock and ask if you're alright."  
  
"Well I'm fine, and I don't believe Mihawk is too fazed by my wellbeing." Zoro answered dry "Now I need a shower or something." then before Shanks could open his mouth he added "I won't drown myself, don't worry."  
  
"Zoro you can talk to me." Shanks pressed as Zoro walked past him and down the hallway.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about." Zoro groaned before entering the bathroom and locking the door behind him.   
  
He didn't want to be rude, but there was no way he was going to discuss his feelings with his parents, especially if one of them forced him. His own mind was already torturing him enough, he didn't need further torment.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
Zoro stared at the tub, debating all over again whether a bath or a shower would have worked better, and ended up changing his mind and opting for the shower because it would have been quicker and maybe there wouldn't have been too much time to ruminate over the night.  
  
Again, meditation would have been the key to enjoy the spray of warm water washing over him and soothing his sore and tense muscles, so he stepped underneath the jet with his eyes closed and a more or less empty mind.  
  
He ended up staying inside the shower for so much more than necessary, even after he was done lathering himself with shower gel and shampoo, he stayed there underneath the water for more than half an hour, until he finally came back to his senses and stepped out.  
  
Meditating had worked more than he thought he would, he felt better physically, and he hoped that his brain was going to behave just as well. He toweled himself dry, then finally made his way back to his bedroom, pulled on a pair of clean boxers and threw himself on the bed. No one seemed to be around, his parents had probably gone to sleep and he was the only one lying in bed with eyes wide open as he stared up at the ceiling.  
  
So maybe meditation hadn't worked as miraculously has he had thought… Oh well.  
  
Zoro couldn't be as detached as he would have wanted, he still loved all his friends, he still cared about Murder Of Crows even if he had stepped aside. He thought about Bartolomeo filling in for him, thought about him behind the drums playing the songs that Zoro usually played. He tried to imagine what the others thought about Bartolomeo, how they felt about having a substitute drummer. Zoro couldn't help but cringe, even if he had been the one who had made the decision to walk away, he couldn't wrap his mind around someone else doing his job.  
  
He didn't blame Bartolomeo, of course, Zoro would have felt the same way about anyone else, but he inevitably couldn't help but wonder about how Sanji must have felt about it.   
  
As soon as his mind focused on Sanji, he felt a stab to his stomach and his lower lip worried automatically between his teeth. His brain unfocused momentarily from being replaced as a drummer to wondering about what kind of outfit Sanji wore, what songs had he agreed on singing, how many cigarettes he had smoked on stage, how many selfies he was going to take with the fans.   
  
His brows furrowed and his right arm slung over his face to cover his eyes… Damn, he missed him so much. He missed the sound of his voice and the dorky laughs that could erupt from his throat, the way he moved on stage like he'd been born to do that, how he interacted with the fans and how he bragged about being so damn good at what he did. So many of these things had been clouded by what had happened, instead of joking around with him and the others, Sanji would get panic attacks, he would be nervous and self-conscious, his smile had been stripped away.  
  
Zoro bit his lower lip harder as his brain reminded him also about how Sanji always sauntered off with a random dude, leaving everyone else behind and only contacting everyone one or two days later. What had happened to Sanji was a mere consequence of his behavior, of this Zoro was more or less convinced, though it still hadn't changed the way he felt about him in the slightest.  
  
Willing or not, Zoro's heart still belonged to Sanji, he was still in love with him, even if at night he truly did try to force himself to stop loving him like he did. His heart was broken, yet its painful, feeble beat was still all for Sanji and it drove him completely insane.  
  
"Fucking hell…" he muttered as he roughly flipped over on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow, trying to at least smother his thoughts to death.  
  
He needed to stop thinking about Sanji, he needed to sleep and get some rest, because he was pretty damn sure that Mihawk was going to torment him at work the following day. Of course it was easier said than done, since his brain wouldn't shut the fuck up, not even if he forced it to.  
  
It was going to be an awfully long night, he knew that, as he tossed and turned, turned and tossed. There was nothing he could really do to fall asleep, even if he tried to focus on something that would relax him, sleep just wouldn't come to him. He reached that point where he wasn't aware if he had fallen asleep for a few minutes, or if he had stayed awake all the while. He wanted to punch himself unconscious.  
  
It was when he was about to get up to go to the bathroom that he began to hear a few noises from downstairs approaching upstairs: his brothers were back from the concert. Zoro sat up and looked ahead at the poorly moonlit door of his room, his ears perking up as he tried to make out what they were talking about. Of course they were trying to be as quiet as possible not to wake anyone up, but maybe speaking to them for a while was going to be the only solution to truly soothe Zoro's mind and help him fall asleep.  
  
He stood up from the bed and walked towards the door, pulling it open and peeking his head out, groaning when the light of the corridor painfully hit his eyes.  
  
"Shit…" he groaned softly.  
  
"What the fuck?!" Ace whispered.  
  
"Zoro?! You're still awake?!" Luffy said as softly as he could.  
  
Zoro massaged his eyes, then was finally able to see his brothers approaching him as they tiptoed down the hallway.  
  
"Couldn't sleep." Zoro shrugged.  
  
"Come to my room, I don't wanna wake the monsters up." Ace went on as he beckoned Zoro to follow them into his room.  
  
It was only then that Zoro actually saw that Usopp had been with them all along, probably hiding behind Luffy for only God knows what reason.  
  
"Where the fuck were you?" Zoro asked with furrowed eyebrows once he had walked up close enough to them.  
  
"Heh… Hi Zoro, I was just… Behind them?" Usopp shrugged, a worried expression on his face.  
  
Zoro stared at him for a while, then simply walked past him and into Ace's room.  
  
"He was trailing behind because he's an idiot." Luffy said with a nod of his head as he kicked off his boots and dropped face first onto Ace's bed.  
  
"I'm not an idiot!" Usopp muttered.  
  
"That's my bed, don't fall asleep on it!" Ace growled softly… And to no avail, because Luffy had already started snoring.  
  
"How the hell does he do that?" Usopp shook his head, incredulous.  
  
"It runs in the family." Ace sighed as he sat down next to his sleeping brother.  
  
"Except for tonight." Zoro commented as he leaned against the closed door.  
  
Just being there, casually speaking to his brothers and his friend was already making him feel less restless and a bit more at ease. He watched as Usopp kept hovering around Luffy's passed out figure and smirked softly.  
  
"You're gonna have to carry him to bed, you know that?" Zoro warned him.  
  
"Yep, bridal style." Ace teased, then both he and Zoro snorted.  
  
"It wouldn't be the first time." Usopp rolled his eyes, even though his cheeks were clearly a redder tone than normal.  
  
"What?! What did you do to our baby brother?!" Ace gasped dramatically.  
  
Zoro was definitely too tired to play this kind of games, but he was definitely amused by the look on Usopp's face.  
  
"W-we didn't… C'mon guys, fuck off!" Usopp covered his face with both hands, and Ace and Zoro laughed harder.

"Yeah, let's give him a break…" Zoro commented, a slight smirk curving his lips "Start off by breaking a couple of his fingers."  
  
"What?!" Usopp's eyes went impossibly wide as both Ace and Zoro tried not to laugh hard enough for the entire household to hear them.  
  
"I don't think there's anyone I love messing with as much as you." Ace confessed between sniggers.  
  
"You guys are awful." Usopp sighed as he slowly shook his head.  
  
Zoro's hand moved to scratch the back of his neck. He felt slightly awkward as he tried to fight back the urge to ask how the concert went, he didn't want to sound desperate, but it was also his right to know.  
  
"So…" Both Zoro and Ace began, then stared at each other before letting out a small chuckle.  
  
"You go first, don't worry." Ace nodded.  
  
Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I'm pretty sure that we were gonna say the same thing."   
  
Usopp looked between them a little awkwardly, mostly because the tension in the room had become pretty evident.  
  
"The concert went pretty well." Ace nodded.  
  
"Oh… That's good." Zoro nodded himself, his gaze dropping non too casually on the floor.  
  
Usopp cleared his throat a big harder than necessary, catching the older guys' attention right away "Uh… I'm gonna take him to bed and leave you guys to it." he announced, rubbing his hands together.  
  
"Alright, need any help?" Ace asked with a cocked brow.  
  
Usopp shrugged, then shook his head "Nah, I'll be fine." he said as he began to pick his boyfriend up from the bed, definitely making some effort.  
  
"Are you sure?" Zoro asked himself. Usopp might have been able to carry Luffy while awake, but as a deadweight his little brother definitely became heavy as hell.  
  
"Yeah yeah… Don't…." Usopp groaned softly as he propped up the passed out boy in his arms "Don't mind me…"  
  
Zoro sighed, moving away from the door in order to open it, then exited Ace's room to open the door to Luffy's room to make things easier for Usopp and his stubbornness.  
  
"Thanks…" Usopp sighed as he stepped out of the room and slowly made his way to the other one.  
  
Zoro walked back inside of Ace's, shutting the door behind his back once again. When he looked back at Ace his expression had somewhat changed, he looked kind of uneasy, now.  
  
"You alright?" Zoro asked, his eyebrows furrowed.  
  
Ace nodded "Yeah, yeah…" then he sighed "It's just…" he shrugged a shoulder "It ain't the same without you, bro."   
  
Zoro's eyebrows shoot upwards. He didn't know if he was expecting that answer or not, yet it made him frown slightly "I'm sure you did well, still…"  
  
"What I just said is still valid." Ace nodded "And the fans asked about you, anyway…"  
  
Damn. He knew he was letting everyone down, not only his friends but their fans too, of course.  
  
"They'll get over it." Zoro dismissed the thing like it didn't affect him as much as it actually did.   
  
Ace let out a huff of laughter, a hollow one at that "I don't think so… And neither will we."   
  
Zoro sighed, rolling his eyes "I can't do anything about it, right now."  
  
Ace nodded "I know…"   
  
An uncomfortable silence fell upon the brothers right after that, Zoro didn't mean to turn everything into a fight, but it seemed to be impossible. Ace could have talked about the show in general, but all he seemed to be able to do was remind him that he had abandoned the band.   
  
Zoro would have wanted to remind him why he had come to make that decision, but he didn't feel like starting an actual argument with his brother in the middle of the night.  
  
"I'm gonna go to bed…" Zoro began, his hand moving to drop on the doorknob.  
  
"He misses you." Ace said tentatively.  
  
Zoro's eyes dropped shut "He _doesn't_." his grip on the doorknob tightening.  
  
"He really does." Ace insisted.  
  
Zoro turned his head to look at Ace in the eyes "Did he tell you?"  
  
Ace snorted "He doesn't wanna speak to me."  
  
So they were still sort of at war, still not talking to one another. Zoro felt a weird sensation of relief at that, even if he probably shouldn't had.  
  
"Then you can't know for sure." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, and pushed the door open.  
  
"But I do, it's pretty damn obvious." Ace went on.  
  
"Well, there's nothing much I can do about it." Zoro said between gritted teeth.  
  
"I know…" Ace said softly, tiredly.  
  
"Night Ace."  
  
"Goodnight, Zoro."  
  
Zoro walked out of Ace's room, closing the door gently when he actually wanted to slam it. He felt like the world's biggest idiot as he kept trying to not care about Sanji when actually he truly wanted to hear what was going on with him lately, what he was doing, how he was doing it.  
  
Yet after all, what did it matter? What Sanji had done was still awful, he had walked all over Zoro for the last time and there was no changing that, no matter how much Zoro still loved him, and no matter how much Ace assured him that Sanji missed him.  
  
The damage was still there, Zoro was hurt and Sanji had purposely hurt him, and had probably thoroughly enjoyed doing so. Zoro didn't know what good talking to Ace had actually done to him, since now he was even more irked than he was before, but it had also sort of put his mind to rest.  
  
The day had officially ended, the gig was over, the Crows had flown without one of the leaders of the murder, yet they had made it back home safe and sound. Zoro could go back to bed and hope for a good few hours of sleep, dreamless sleep if possible.  
  
He walked past Luffy's room and stared at the door with the gigantic poster of Gandalf reciting _'you shall not pass'_ in all caps, stopping briefly by it as if he wanted to know what went on behind it. Zoro knew it was something innocent, of the purest kind, and it made him smile softly to know that even Luffy had found someone. Then his smile dropped a few moments after when he realized that maybe he was the only person in that house who wasn't meant to know that kind of happiness.  
  
Zoro moved on, entering the room with the half opened door and the lights out. He looked at the bed and thought about how many times he had shared it with Sanji, how their sweetest moments had taken place underneath those sheets, how they had made out on top of that mattress.  
  
Yeah, that wasn't the right type of things he should have thought about right before trying to go back to sleep. Zoro closed the door and moved to heavily drop onto the mattress, and once again tried to get suffocated by the pillow.   
  
He really needed to find the off button of his brain.  
  


 

  
* * *

 

  
  
Sleep had taken over, at last. Zoro couldn't tell when, maybe between the fifth or sixth time of flipping on his back, then on his stomach again, it didn't really matter as long as he had actually managed to fall asleep and get all the rest he needed.  
  
It was a dreamless sleep, probably due to how exhausted he was both in body and mind, he wasn't exactly sure for how long he had actually slept, but at some point during the afternoon his ears caught sounds and voices that forced him to wake up.  
  
He laid on his right side for a while, focusing on the music he was hearing and the voices commenting it. He recognized the style of Sonata Arctica in the melody, but it sounded different from the original, it was a live version and most likely a cover made by the Crows. Nothing new, they had always covered Sonata's songs, but this one he couldn't quite place, it was too muffled and Ace, Luffy and Usopp were definitely being too loud for Zoro to actually make it out.  
  
Could it be a video from the night before? It wasn't unusual for their fans to film their performances and upload them either on YouTube or Facebook, so Zoro figured that if he really wanted to know how the band had done the previous night, he might have as well gone to Ace's room to watch the videos with them.  
  
Zoro sat up, cracked his neck and back, yawned like a hippo, scrubbed both hands down his face, then finally stood up. As he opened the door he could hear the music getting louder, his heartbeat increasing when he recognize Sanji's voice.

Zoro would have been able to tell Sanji's voice apart in a choir of a hundred people, he was pretty damn sure of that. It was unique and warm, maybe not as crystalline as others would have liked – but you cannot really expect that from a chain smoker – yet it was one of the most beautiful and intense voices Zoro had ever heard in his life, biased or not.

There was something different about it, though, something that made Zoro stop in his tracks as he walked towards Ace's room. There was such a strong emotion and emphasis in the way that he sung that it made Zoro's stomach churn. He could tell the melody was melancholic, but the voice was heart wrenching.  
  
Why couldn't he place a title to the song? It was insane, he knew that song, he was sure of it.   
  
Zoro resumed his pace and finally reached the closed door of Ace's room. It was then that he realized what Sanji was singing and his heart ceased beating for several moments. He couldn't believe his ears, never in his life Sanji would have sung something like that and definitely not with such raw emotion dripping from every word.  
  
 _Shamandalie._

He was actually, truly singing a song about losing the most important person in your life to being stupid, about not being able to see love when it was right underneath your nose. A song about how a childhood friendship had turned into something more, and about how unrequited feelings had destroyed everything.

It was their story in a song.

Zoro opened the door without knocking and remained frozen on the threshold when Sanji's pained high notes, almost screamed out, surrounded him and sent the biggest shiver jolting down his spine, knocking the wind out of him.  
  
Ace, Luffy and Usopp all turned to stare at him as if they had been caught stealing, but Zoro couldn't even see them.  
  
"Sh-should I turn it off…?" Usopp murmured.  
  
"I don't–" Ace hunched his shoulders, unable to predict his brother's further reaction.  
  
"Don't." Zoro said, adamant.  
  
Usopp's hand slid off of the top of the mouse, his eyes not leaving Zoro's face. Luffy's expression was stoic as he quietly looked at his brother, while Ace stared at him with furrowed eyebrows, tormenting his lower lip with his teeth.  
  
"Start it off again, from the beginning." Zoro ordered, then slowly walked closer to his brothers and Usopp, closer to the computer screen. He needed a closer look and a more accurate listen.

Usopp nodded and obliged, bringing the video all the way back to the beginning with a single click of the mouse and avoiding to keep his eyes fixated on Zoro.

"You changed the setlist?" Zoro asked.  
  
"Sanji insisted we switched from The Wolves Die Young to this one." Luffy replied promptly.  
  
Zoro's jaw tightened, his lips remained sealed. So the cook had seriously decided to sing this song because it meant something to him. Another punch in the stomach.  
  
The video started out again, Sanji looked hesitant and not exactly like himself. He seemed restless and wandered all the way back to speak to Nami as if he needed some sort of encouragement, something he had never done in his life. Sanji was proud and self-confident on stage, he never needed anyone's validation nor anything else, not even Zoro's, that was so weird that Zoro's eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
  
After that moment of supposed discomfort, Sanji walked back to the microphone to utter some words of introduction for the song, claiming that he hoped to _'do it justice'_. Zoro was just more and more bewildered, if not actually shocked by the entire scene he was watching, and when he started singing it only made it worse.   
  
That didn't sound like Sanji, there was nothing powerful about his voice, no personality, no nothing. It sounded like he was holding back, like he didn't want to really give his all to the crowd. Zoro's arms folded over his chest, he felt kind of uncomfortable watching Sanji's antics and in that moment Ace's words from the night before echoed in his mind again. The lyrics he was singing though, breached through Zoro's chest, they were close to home and he couldn't help but chew on the inside of his lower lip.  
  
After those initial moments of uncertainty, of self-consciousness and what else could have been restraining Sanji, things started to change.   
  
_"Sometimes we break the unbreakable, sometimes?"_  
  
The words resonated through Zoro's head, stabbing him like a knife. They really had managed to break something that seemed unbreakable. Then the unexpected happened, and both the music and Sanji's voice exploded, powerful, raw and tragically gorgeous as actual tears began to stream down the singer's face.  
  
Zoro was at a loss. His jaw slacked and his insides tangled and knotted up along with his throat. Sanji was crying in front of the audience while he screamed out loud all the pain and sorrow that he had apparently been bottling up inside of him, and Zoro was completely thunderstruck.   
  
He felt his own eyes stinging, and the more he tried to gulp down the knot in his throat the more it seemed to be growing. Zoro's hand went quickly up to wipe off any trace of tears that had threatened to run down his cheeks before anyone could notice, or at least he hoped so.   
  
_"You saw us always clearer than me,  
How we were never meant to be,  
Love denied meant the friendship would die"_  
  
Another punch, another stab, another wound opening up and making Zoro bleed, the lyrics of the song were unbelievably accurate to describe the relationship he had with Sanji. He had always been the one to think and know that if he'd ever try confessing his love for Sanji, he was sure that he was going to lose him. He had always seen them more clearly than Sanji had…

Did Sanji know about his feelings?

Had someone told him about them?  
  
He stood rooted to the spot as tense as a bowstring, jaw impossibly tight as he watched the love of his life cry on stage while singing something that no matter how much Zoro tried to deny it in his head, was clearly dedicated to him.  
  
"He was amazing, wasn't he?" Luffy asked, his eyes shining as he turned to beam up at Zoro.  
  
The drummer nodded for longer than necessary, his expression as stoic as ever.  
  
"He's damn good." Zoro managed to say without his voice cracking like a bastard, his eyes still glued to now pitch black screen.

"Are you ok, Zoro?" Ace asked.  
  
"Why shouldn't I be?" Zoro replied with another question and a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
"He sang it for you." Luffy went on.  
  
"Well, I wasn't there, was I?" Zoro retorted, unable to just drop his attitude for a moment.  
  
"Jesus, can't you just act like a human being for a moment?" Luffy groaned, exasperated.  
  
"Luffy, leave him be." Usopp spoke softly.  
  
"No, I won't! Because he's just as much as an idiot as Sanji is." Luffy continued to clearly top it off.  
  
Zoro's head snapped in Luffy's direction but he couldn't say anything, not after what he had just witnessed. He sighed and shook his head, his arms dropping along his sides.  
  
"I need to be alone for a moment." Zoro announced before leaving the room, ignoring the grumbling coming from behind him.   
  
He marched back to his room and flung the door shut so hard that the walls trembled, then punched the closet door so violently that he poked a hole into it.  
  
"Fuck!" he yelled out, then crumbled to his knees, telling himself that if he was crying in that moment it was because of the splinters embedded into his knuckles and the possible fractured bones.  
  
He was overwhelmed and his brothers couldn't respect that. How could they expect Zoro to just take the information his brain hadn't even completely processed and do something about it?  
  
Yes, he had watched Sanji cry while singing Shamandalie, and what then? Could it actually change something? Or could it just be Sanji regretting the loss of a friendship? It didn't exactly mean that he returned Zoro's feelings, and Zoro couldn't really deal with that, no matter what everyone else thought, no matter how others wanted him to act.  
  
He couldn't deny how much it had affected him to see Sanji like that, he hated it when Sanji suffered, but he still needed to think about himself first. He couldn't just go back to being Sanji's friend to make him stop crying on stage, it didn't work like that.  
  
Zoro wiped the tears off his face again and examined the damage he had done to his hand, trying to stretch out his fingers and then balling them up into a fist again. It stung and hurt, but he was sure it wasn't nothing, he had had worse. It was time to let out all the pent up frustration, pain and anger, and there was only one way he knew that was going to work.  
  
Zoro rose back up to his feet, wore one of his training outfits and opened the side of the closet where he kept his swords in their cases.   
  
It was time to have a talk with Mihawk, in the only way they knew of.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hardly can believe the fact that I managed to not take 100 years to write this chapter, WHOA! So, here is chapter 20! We're starting to get nearer and nearer to the end of this story, and it kind of makes me a little sad, yet proud of almost having finished this incredibly important project of mine.
> 
> As usual, thank you all so much for being the incredible readers that you are! I couldn't find a better reason to keep on writing if it wasn't for all your amazing comments, messages and so on. I love all of you!
> 
> Once again, you can contact me on my tumblr marimoyaro if you ever feel like dropping a question or just discuss anything about SIO.
> 
> There's a little warning for a not very graphic scene of sexual harassment/abuse, but I wanted to give you guys a head's up. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

_"You're too slow."  
  
"Your mind isn't in it."  
  
"Your heart isn't in it."  
  
"Zoro, what the fuck are you doing?"  
  
"Why didn't you block?!"_  
  
There was a sharp pain, Zoro's skin sliced open right between the deltoid and the biceps of his left arm. A groan escaped the guy's throat as he dropped the three katana and pressed a prompt palm against the gushing wound.  
  
Mihawk had been right all along. He wasn't focusing, he was sparring for the hell of it, to let out steam but without the mindset. His father was a formidable swordsman, the only one who Zoro still hadn't beaten, and when they sparred with real blades instead of bokken, they were usually careful enough to not wound each other.  
  
Zoro was too driven by his own emotional turmoil. His chest and head were filled with rage and pain, making it impossible for him to be sharp and completely aware of his opponent's every move. So now there he was, sitting in the waiting room of the emergency department with a blood soaked cloth pressed against the wound on his arm. Mihawk was sitting right next to him with his arms folded over his chest and a leg crossed over the other as he glared down at the floor.  
  
Zoro had tried to keep his father from tagging along, especially because it was going to be extremely awkward for both of them, but Mihawk had insisted, so now they were ignoring one another while sitting among other wounded people and their families.  
  
"You're not coming inside, when it's my turn." Zoro muttered all of a sudden. His shoulder was stinging really bad and his head felt slightly fuzzy from the pain and blood loss.  
  
"I just wanted to drive you here and make sure you didn't die on the road. Don't worry, you can go alone in there." Mihawk grumbled in response, his eyes still glued to the floor.  
  
Zoro nodded, no answer was needed to that, so he just kept staring at the door of the emergency room.   
  
"Did you talk to the blond one?" Mihawk asked out of the blue.  
  
Zoro's head whipped in his father's direction so fast that it made him so dizzy he actually feared he could topple off the chair.  
  
"What the fuck?" Zoro asked in a harsh whisper.  
  
Mihawk shrugged a shoulder "You wouldn't have been so unfocused and blind if Sanji wasn't involved."  
  
Zoro's nostrils flared and his jaw tightened. He really wanted to stand up and hit his father with the chair he had been sitting on, but it really would have been unfortunately inappropriate.  
  
Though Mihawk was right, he knew Zoro and he knew what the only thing that could break his concentration was. Zoro couldn't really tell him he was wrong, it was pointless, and after all he could really use some venting.  
  
"I didn't. But Ace and Luffy won't shut up about him." Zoro caved in.  
  
Mihawk looked at Zoro out of the corner of his eye and nodded slowly.  
  
They never did that, they didn't have that kind of parent-son bond that allowed them to speak about their feelings freely. It was embarrassing for both of them, just like when Zoro was a child and Mihawk awkwardly tried to tell him that he had fallen for someone and he wanted Zoro to meet him. Up to that point of Zoro's life, he didn't even think his father could be capable of falling in love with someone. It was just too weird.   
  
"Son, listen to me…" Mihawk started, his head slowly turning to face Zoro and look him in the eye.  
  
Zoro perked up as his entire body tensed with embarrassment and anticipation from whatever piece of advice was coming from Mihawk.  
  
"This situation is clearly doing a number on you. So you either try to settle it, or forget about it." Mihawk shrugged his shoulder "Do something about it, or let go completely. You've been in between for far too long, if you keep up with this… It'll consume you."  
  
Mihawk's golden eyes stared long and meaningfully into his son's dark eyes, then went back to stare down at the floor once again.  
  
Zoro was left to gawk at his father even when their gazes were no longer locked. That was definitely one of the longest pieces of advice that Mihawk had given to him in the past eight years of so, and Zoro hated to recognize how much his father was right.  
  
"Roronoa Zoro?" a feminine voice called out, and Zoro whipped his head in the direction of the nurse that was standing in the emergency room doorway with a clipboard in her hands.  
  
"It's me." Zoro said as he stood up and looked down at Mihawk who simply nodded as he stayed sat.  
  
"Follow me, please." the nurse went on as she beckoned Zoro to enter the room, and he did.

The inside of the room was the kind of white and aseptic typical of hospitals, it lets you know that you're there to be healed or patched up, but it doesn't really make you feel comfortable. The smell of disinfectant wasn't as pungent as that of the detergent they had just used to clean the floor, Zoro didn't spend too much time wondering about what went on, and the expression of the cleaner made him even less curious.  
  
There were two beds covered in aqua paper sheets, the disposable kind that every doctor or nurse used as a protection between the patient and the actual bed. Zoro had never been the sickly type, even as a kid, but he did remember the time he dislocated his elbow when he was a teenager very vividly. He remember there was a similar colored paper laid atop the bed in which he was lying for the doctor to operate on his bones.  
  
He got somehow stuck in that memory as he stared at the beds, and didn't realize that a young boy, around Luffy's age, was standing right in front of him. To be fair, he was definitely a good few inches shorter than Zoro.  
  
"Are you alright, sir?" the crystalline voice of the boy came to snap Zoro out of his daydream.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the boy in a lab coat that was staring up at him, eyebrows drawn together in concern.  
  
"I got a katana blade wound on my upper arm, I definitely am _not_ alright." Zoro replied, dry.  
  
"Well then I suggest you take a seat on one of the beds, remove your shirt and let me check the damage." the boy said in a way that was extremely professional for how young he looked.  
  
"You're a doctor?" Zoro inquired, eyebrow raised quizzically.  
  
"I'm still studying, but yes. I am a doctor." the boy sighed, his big hazel eyes shining with determination "I know it freaks out most people, but I am one of those…" he made air quotes with his fingers " _Prodigy youth_." he chuckled softly. "But please, do let me help you out with your arm." he said as he gestured towards the beds.  
  
Zoro's expression remained between skeptical and confused, but obliged. After all, if the boy was there in the emergency room it couldn't really be a prank… Or at least he hoped it wasn't.  
  
"Alright…" Zoro muttered as he went to sit on one of the beds, then carefully removed the partially blood soaked shirt from his upper body, groaning in pain when he slightly moved his injured arm.  
  
"Easy, easy!" the doctor exclaimed as he wore a pair of rubber gloves "Are you allergic to any kind of medication, even disinfectant?"  
  
Zoro shook his head and glanced down at the wound. The cut wasn't huge, but he could tell it was kind of deep. It felt deep, too. He seriously hoped Mihawk hadn't caught a tendon or anything, but he doubted it.  
  
"Alright then, I'll just–" the doctor ceased speaking all of a sudden, and inhaled sharply in surprise.  
  
Zoro's eyes went back to the young doctor, was there something wrong with the wound?  
  
"Oh my… Holy sh–!" the boy brought his hands to his mouth, being careful not to press the sterile gloves against his lips and avoiding any risk of contamination.  
  
"What is it?!" Zoro asked, terrified by the reaction. Was he going to lose a limb or something?  
  
"Y-you're… You're Zoro! Like… _That_ Zoro! From Murder Of Crows!" the doctor cried out, making all the other nurses and a doctor turn their heads to stare at him.  
  
Zoro's eyes grew impossibly wide. Was the doctor fanboying over him? _Seriously_?  
  
"Yeah…?" Zoro's eyebrows furrowed "What the–"  
  
"Oh my…" the doctor's face flushed a bright shade of pink "I am a huge fan of your band! I adore it! You guys are so incredible, I love your songs and the way you arrange covers… Just… Oh God!" he went on gushing over the band like they had just casually met in a bar or something.  
  
"I…" Zoro blinked, shaking his head "I'm very…. Happy you're a fan but…"   
  
"Right! Right, right! Your arm, I'm so sorry! So so sorry!" the doctor apologized as he resumed prepping for cleaning the wound, his face redder than ever.  
  
"It's alright…" Zoro sighed.  
  
He couldn't believe it. What were the odds of finding a fan at the hospital? And a doctor, nonetheless! That was insane.  
  
"I've always wanted to come see you guys live but…" the boy chuckled nervously as he began to carefully clean the wound with a piece of disinfectant imbued cotton, making Zoro flinch ever so slightly "I haven't got anyone to accompany me."   
  
Zoro frowned. The change of expression on the doctor's face was heartbreaking, as if he was actually implying that he didn't have anyone to hang out with in general. That was really sad.  
  
"That's too bad…" Zoro commented. He wondered if the young man knew about him parting ways with the band.  
  
"Oh well… I'm used to it." another nervous snicker left the doctor's throat "I do hope you'll join the rest of the guys again, soon… I'll make sure your arm will be as good as new to play drums!" the doctor beamed up at Zoro.  
  
There it was. Damn.  
  
Zoro nodded "I'm sure you will." he gave a half smirk, dodging the part that concerned going back to the band.  
  
"My name is Tony, by the way. But ever since I was a small child everyone's always called me Chopper," the doctor snorted "don't ask me why."  
  
"Chopper…" Zoro frowned his lips, then nodded "I'll remember that." he assured with a full fledged smile.  
  
No matter how much he tried to keep up the upset/annoyed act, Zoro couldn't really denied it made him happy to know that there were people who loved the Crows in the most unexpected of places.  
  
The young doctor flashed him the biggest smile ever, his childish features revealing his young age no matter the extremely professional and impeccable way in which he had started stitching up Zoro's wound. He kind of reminded him of Luffy, and somehow he was certain that his brother would have got along perfectly with him.  
  
"Does it hurt?" Chopper asked, his fingers working fast but precisely. His eyes not leaving the wound.  
  
"It stings, but it isn't the first time I've been stitched up." Zoro commented casually, receiving a nervous laugh from Chopper.

"So, uh…" Chopper started, his voice sort of unsteady as he kept focusing on the stitches "Is your decision permanent?" he quickly glanced up into Zoro's eyes, then lowered his gaze just as quickly "I hope my question doesn't upset you."  
  
Zoro's eyes fell shut, his head lowering as he heaved out a sigh. He had hoped to dodge the topic, but since Chopper was a fan, Zoro knew the fatal question was coming, sooner or later.  
  
"It could be," he began, restraining from shrugging while his arm was being sewn up "in the immediate future there is no chance I'd go back."  
  
Chopper nodded, his features failing to hide the disappointment he didn't express through words. "I'm sorry… about whatever caused this outcome."  
  
Zoro nodded "So am I."  
  
The remaining minutes were spent in silence, it wasn't uncomfortable, it was like the quiet after a storm, the kind of silence your mind and body needs after a long struggle. Zoro asked Chopper for a pen and a piece of paper, and left him an autograph that almost made the young doctor flip a desk in excitement and shower Zoro with praise and thankfulness.  
  
"I should be thanking you, doc." Zoro smirked, one of his sharp eyebrows arched up "You patched me up real good."   
  
"Your compliments don't make me happy, you asshole!" Chopper cried out as he smiled, blushed and wriggled his entire body in a weird manner.  
  
Zoro glowered down at the boy in utter confusion and decided it was definitely best to leave that damn hospital. That doctor was definitely out of his mind.  
  
Mihawk stood up as soon as his son stepped out of the room "I'll drive you home."  
  
"I can work just fine." Zoro protested.  
  
"No, you'll just bleed all around the dojo." Mihawk retorted as he started walking back to the parking lot.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and reluctantly followed his father.  
  
Of course the young doctor had given Zoro a couple painkillers, even though the drummer could barely feel the pain, Chopper knew that not feeling as much pain as he was supposed to, Zoro would have probably tore off the stitches and messed up the wound, so trying to knock his patient out for a while wasn't that bad of an option.  
  
Zoro was drowsy and fuzzy the moment he sat into the passenger seat of Mihawk's car, he used his left hand to sloppily rub at his eyes, then let his incredibly heavy eyelids fall shut. Yeah, maybe it was a lot better if his father just dropped him off at home, he could definitely use some death like sleep.  
  
He let the slumber envelope him in its arms like an old friend, slipping off to sleep a few moments later like it was the easiest thing on earth. Zoro's phone vibrated a few times inside his pocket and against his side, but he didn't feel it, didn't even care about feeling it.  
  
After what felt either like just a couple minutes or a couple years, the car came to an abrupt halt, jerking Zoro awake and making him gasp in surprise. He blinked his eyes open and wiped off the rivulet of drool that had rolled down the left corner of his mouth, and glared at his pleased looking father – he knew Mihawk had kicked the brake that harshly on purpose.  
  
"Go to sleep, you idiot." Mihawk said as his fingers went to tug softly on his son's septum ring.  
  
Zoro scrunched his nose and batted Mihawk's hand away "See ya." he muttered as he stumbled out of the car and threw the door shut. He watched as his father drove off, then stretched out his left arm with a huge yawn, and pulled both his keys and cellphone out of his pocket.   
  
Zoro glared at the blinking led on the phone that indicated he had received a Whatsapp message, who the hell could it be, now? He sighed and unlocked the screen, though his limbs felt somewhat numb from the medication and he hated it.   
  
_'hey zoro, sup? how're u doin? i just wanted to let u know that the show went very well tho i felt kinda awkward the whole time. hope to hear from u soon'_  
  
Bartolomeo.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes in the back of his skull and shoved his cellphone back into his pocket. He was too drugged up to deal with anyone at the moment, especially if that someone was Bartolomeo. He tried to unlock the door four times, almost snapping the key in a half in the process, and finally succeeded in unlocking it on the fifth try and nearly tumbled inside.  
  
His brothers and Usopp were all there watching TV, freezing up when they saw him, then their expressions changed when they realized his arm was all patched up.  
  
"What the fuck happened to you?" Ace asked, his eyebrows impossibly drawn together.  
  
"Fought a bear, obviously." Zoro scoffed and pulled the door shut behind him.  
  
"Where are your katana?" Luffy inquired with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Zoro's eyes widened as his mind went to his treasured swords. He had left them at the dojo while Mihawk rushed him to the hospital. Oh well, he trusted his father enough to take care of them and bring them back home later that evening.  
  
"Oh my God, did Mihawk hurt you?" Ace went on, worry warping his features.  
  
"It was an accident," Zoro pointed out "no need to get your panties in a bunch."  
  
"Do you need us to get you any medicine?" Usopp offered.  
  
"No, I just need more sleep." Zoro deadpanned, then without further useless chit-chat he marched upstairs to actually go and get some well needed rest.  
  
He was enjoying having his mind clouded way too much, especially now that he was finally alone in the dim light of his room. Zoro slipped inside his unmade bed with a moan of delight and wrapped himself into the covers, careful not to mess up his stitches.   
  
"Ah fuck…" he mumbled as he remembered about the phone in his pocket and the text from Bartolomeo. He didn't know what to do, but couldn't leave him on seen forever, so he typed with one eye shut and with his left thumb.  
  
 _'good im tired n gt hurt whil workn speek to u son'_  
  
He tapped the send button, then threw the phone somewhere on the other side of the bed, not caring at all about the fact that it had actually bounced off the mattress and landed on the floor.

The painkillers were still coursing through Zoro's system, making it easy to slip back into Morpheus's embrace once again, without a care in the world. No worries, no obsessive thoughts, no replays of the YouTube video he had watched that morning. Nothing, not even dreams or nightmares could come knocking at his mind's gates.  
  
  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
  
"You're hurting me, let go of me!" Sanji choked out, the hand around his throat clasped even harder, stifling any other chance of protest.  
  
"You like it rough, so quit fussing."   
  
"N-no…."   
  
Tears streamed down Sanji's cheeks, his eyes bloodshot from the pressure of Bellamy's hand around his throat. He couldn't tell where he was, couldn't make out if it was a public place or a house… Or perhaps even a car. He was just so terrified that he could feel his heart ache in his chest.  
  
Then a pain harder than anything he had ever felt ripped him from the inside. He figured Bellamy must have found his way into his body, no matter his protests.  
  
Sanji tried to scream as hard as he could, tried to call out for help but his throat was knotted up, Bellamy's grip was harder than steel. He began to think that he was going to die soon, there was just no way he could survive that.  
  
His sight was hazed, as if the world around him was dissolving. Slowly. Relentlessly.  
  
Music started playing in Sanji's ears. He couldn't quite place the genre, nor the band. He couldn't even understand where it was coming from, until he opened his eyes again and found himself pressed against the stall of what was the dirty toilet of a club.  
  
Bellamy was no longer there, yet he wasn't alone. There was another guy standing really close to him, he had jet black hair and a shit eating grin.  
  
"C'mon, if you really like sex as much as you say why are you being such an asshole about sucking my dick?"   
  
"I just…" Sanji shrugged "I don't feel comfortable doing it in a dirty fucking bathroom." he explained, embarrassed.  
  
"Just fucking suck it! I sucked you dry, man!" the guy insisted.  
  
"I don't wanna!" Sanji repeated "Let me out of here, c'mon." he said as he tried to push the guy away from the door.  
  
Everything happened really fast. The guy was bigger and stronger than Sanji, and used his advantage to force Sanji down on his knees and bring him to his crotch level.  
  
Before Sanji could react he was already choking on the guys erection, as he pounded inside his mouth like it was nothing.  
  
"No!!" Sanji managed to scream out in horror, and everything around him faded for good as he bolted up in a sitting position in his bed.  
  
It was a nightmare. The umpteenth one in three damned days in a row. Ever since the night of the concert, where he'd been harassed by Bellamy, he couldn't afford to let his eyelids drop shut without dreaming about being violated in every possible way.  
  
Sanji wiped the sweat off his brow, his breath ragged as he turned on the bedside lamp with a shaky hand. The room lit up enough for him to be able to take off his sweat soaked shirt and search for a dry one.  
  
He felt awfully nauseous, but his legs were so weak that he could have never made it to the bathroom, so he just lied back in his damp sheets to stare up at the ceiling.  
  
Sanji would have never thought that his incident with Bellamy would have triggered that kind of nightmares, he never thought it would bring back so many awful memories. He had never told anyone about the things he had endured in the past, not even Zoro. He had locked those memories of abuse into a drawer in his mind and thrown away the key.  
  
When he was much younger and had just started experimenting with other boys, not everyone was nice and inexperienced, some were older and violent, and did and expected Sanji to do to them things that he wasn't yet comfortable to do with anyone.   
  
He had been forced to give his first blowjob, and it had been so awful that he had spent the entire night throwing up, as an aftermath. Sanji never told a living soul, and only learned to start being smarter about the people he picked. He didn't let those things scar him, or at least he thought so, until Bellamy unlocked those drawers with his abuse.

He was young and naive, he couldn't see what had happened to him as actual harassment or abuse, he just thought he had somehow deserved what had happened to him, because leading on someone but then not giving them what they truly wanted felt like betrayal of some sort.   
  
What Sanji learned from these experiences was that he needed to better his skills and be a lot more opened to experimenting outside of his comfort zone… Even if it meant feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, filthy and so on. With time all these bad feelings faded away along with those memories, he learned to be in charge and learned to do only what he liked and when he wanted, never letting the past keep him from enjoying his sexuality.  
  
After what had happened with Bellamy, though, everything started to take a new meaning and Sanji could finally see it from a different angle. He had been taken advantage of so many times when he was younger, guys had been so horrible to him and the only way that his mind had to protect Sanji was to forget as much as it could, to bury the horror as deep as possible under as much dirt as it could.  
  
All the weight from those years was crushing down on Sanji like an avalanche and he felt so lonely and miserable that he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to be pitied, didn't want anyone's sympathy, he just wanted to feel loved and wanted for the person he was rather than desired for the way he looked and from the things someone had heard about him.  
  
He was ashamed for what had happened, he had even started wondering what his fans thought about him… Did they love him as much as he thought? Or did they think he was a whore, just like Bellamy? Why did it have to feel like such a crime to enjoy sex as much as he did? Why was it so bad to find an escape in sex? To use it as a way to not feel anything else, just raw, primordial pleasure? He'd rather be fucked into next century than put a blade to his wrist, after all…  
  
Most importantly, though… How could Zoro be truly in love with him, if those were the things that people thought about him? There was just no way that Zoro could love someone like him, it was ridiculous.  
  
Yet again, Sanji knew he could have found peace only in Zoro's arms, in one of his strong embraces and in the way he used to press his lips to Sanji's hairline. He needed the ridiculous heat irradiated from the mosshead's body to soothe his nerves, needed the sound of his snoring to lull him back to sleep, the calmest of them all.   
  
How was he going to survive the rest of his days without Zoro? He was starting to think it was going to be impossible. Even if he had Nami looking out for him, she still had her own life and her own love to look after, she couldn't babysit his sorry ass all the time and Sanji didn't even want her to.  
  
Was he even meant to survive? He had his fair share of doubts, if he truly had to be honest, but for the time being he was going to grit his teeth and keep holding on.  
  
His head fell softly to the side, his eyes fixated on his cellphone laying on the top of his bedside table. He reached out to grab it, hesitantly, he unlocked the screen and found the usual few Instagram notifications, a couple from Twitter and didn't even dare thinking about his Facebook page, probably flooded with private messages either from perverts or fans inquiring about Zoro incessantly.   
  
He hovered the contact list with his thumb for a few seconds then tapped on it, his finger slowly scrolling down to the _M_. He started at the word _Marimo_ for some interminable seconds, remembering how many times he had called or texted Zoro after a bad dream or just out of boredom, and how many times Zoro had actually either picked up or written back in the dead of the night. Only this time Sanji would have never got an answer, and no matter how much he wanted to even just hear Zoro's breath through the speaker of his phone, he shut the contact list and locked the screen, letting his mobile drop on the mattress.  
  
Sanji brought both hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes and finding them wet. What time was it again? He hadn't even seen it while checking his phone, yet he preferred to just look at the clock sitting on his nightstand. It was 4:37, an improvement from the night before, it was 2:48 when the nightmares began to torment him.   
  
Sanji heaved a deep, long breath, then flipped on his stomach to try and catch a few more Zs before the dawn actually broke. It would have been so much better if he could have just gone to work, Zeff couldn't understand how important it was for Sanji to have something to keep him busy, yet he knew very well how much he could keep fucking up in the kitchen. Maybe he could just ask his father to let him clean the kitchen, or even the restrooms… Anything would have done.  
  
Sanji's phone buzzed twice and he nearly fell off the bed. He knew he should have probably silenced the phone completely, those social network notifications were annoying as hell during the night. He picked up the cell again to see what had just nearly given him a heart attack, and a preview of a text from Nami showed up.  
  
Sanji's heart skipped a beat. Texts so early in the morning often bore more bad news than good, yet he proceeded to read the entirety of the message.  
  
 _'hey there, how are you doing? sorry for writing to you at almost 5 am but i drank so much coffee while studying for next week's test that i can't even keep my eyes shut… Vivi and I are going to the mall tomorrow afternoon/evening, would you like to tag along?'_  
  
Sanji's eyes began to fill with tears all over again. He didn't know whether to be incredibly grateful for Nami, or to be angry for being pitied. Then again, Nami wasn't that kind of person, she would only do this sort of things when someone she cared about really needed it, so he tried to shake that uneasy feeling off of him.  
  
He licked his lips and began to type up his reply.  
  
 _'its ok, u caught me while still awake haha. i really dont wanna bother u guys, u are already doing too much for me. thanks anyway. goodnight beautiful.'_  
  
He hit send without even rereading, and saw that Nami read the message right away, but instead of showing the usual 'Mellorine is typing…' Sanji read that she was actually recording an audio note. What in the hell? Was she going to yell at him through voice messages?   
  
The audio arrived a few moments after and Sanji turned on the volume just a couple notches, you never know when Nami would start yelling like a demon.  
  
 _"Oh my God, Sanji… Why do you have to be like this? It isn't like we're babysitting you, we want you to come with us so we can cheer you up and maybe grab a bite together. We love you, jackass. We'll pick you up. It's no longer an offer. Try to get some rest. 'Night 'night!"_  
  
No yelling, no annoyance in her tone, Sanji couldn't help the small laugh that erupted from his throat, and shook his head. He didn't feel like making an audio himself, so he just tapped up a quick reply.  
  
 _'alright, there's no arguing with the queen [crown emoji]. i'll see you guys tomorrow x'_  
  
 _'good boy xx'_  
  
Sanji's smile grew a little wider, and his stomach felt slightly less knotted up. He set his phone back on the nightstand and plugged it in to charge, at least he had something to look forward to the next day, even if thoughts of Zoro and awful memories probably weren't going to leave him alone for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sanji's slumber was still scattered in sparse nightmares, making him agitated and unable to rest properly. At 8 AM he managed to eat a small breakfast and try going back to sleep, the morning light making things look somewhat less scary, and succeeded in waking up after three hours straight of solid, _nightmareless_ sleep.  
  
He wasn't used to waking up at such an hour, not even on a Sunday, at least not since he turned old enough to work for his father at the restaurant. It felt weird and somewhat uncomfortable, but he had got some well deserved rest and he really couldn't complain about that.  
  
He sat up in his bed and looked down at the sheets with a sigh, knowing very well that he should have changed them again because of how much sweat he had soaked them in. He needed a shower too, badly, or maybe a bath… Either way he needed to get up from his bed and get some shit done.  
  
Sanji was about to do that when he caught a glimpse of his phone and noticed that someone had messaged him on Whatsapp, so he furrowed his eyebrows and picked up the device from the nightstand. He unlocked the screen and found out that the sender was Nami, once again. Was she calling the invitation off? That would have definitely been a kick in the shin, but it couldn't have been helped.  
  
 _'how's my singer? did you manage to get some sleep? i just wanted to tell you that Vivi won't be able to make it until 6:30 pm but i wanted to see you sooner, so… would it be a problem if i picked you up in an hour? we could go grab a cup of coffee or even lunch if you still haven't eaten. let me know!'_  
  
Whoa. What?  
  
Sanji nearly dropped his phone. He had never gone out alone with a girl, not to mention Nami. What the hell! He needed a moment to process everything. Of course it wasn't a date, nor could it mean anything romantic to Sanji, but it still made a chill ran up his spine.  
  
What was the problem, anyway? He was getting used to having normal conversations with Nami, even if her beauty could hurt his eyes, he was getting used to spending some time alone with her. Why did he have to make such a big deal out of it?  
  
He sucked in a deep breath and then got to typing his reply. Of course he would have liked not to be alone with his mind for so many hours. He could change the sheets at night, there was no problem, and he could definitely get ready in an hour if he wanted to.

Yes, there was no problem at all.  
  
 _'hey there! im fine, i got some sleep… not nearly enough of it but i'll manage haha. and sure, if u don't mind being alone with my annoying ass, i'd like that.'_  
  
He hesitated, staring at the message he had just written and chewing down on his lipring. Did he sound too dramatic? Demanding? Desperate? Well, whatever, he was all of the above and it was time to deal with it. He tapped the send button and quickly stood up to fish some clean underwear and clothes to wear, before bolting into the bathroom for a quick shower, bringing his phone with him.  
  
He washed and only later checked for Nami's positive and enthusiastic reply, then went ahead with getting ready. He wore a pair of black ripped skinny jeans that he stuffed into his New Rock boots style 474, a Sister Of Mercy shirt and a studded vest on top. He didn't bother putting on a full face of makeup, nor did he care about filling in and finishing drawing on his half shaved off eyebrows, he just moisturized his face and styled his hair until his phone started buzzing insistently with a call.   
  
Nami had arrived.  
  
Sanji ran out of the bathroom, nearly tripped over the pair of shoes he had left in the middle of the bedroom and quickly shrugged on his stuffed leather jacket, grabbed his bag and took off. He tried not to break his neck while he climbed down the stairs and cursed colorfully when he struggled opening the old front door of the building, then grinned and waved at Nami when he saw that she was waiting for him right outside of her car.  
  
"Are you out of breath?" Nami asked with a cocked eyebrow.  
  
"Nah…" Sanji tried not to wheeze, then rolled his eyes "I had just woke up when I read your text." he admitted, his shoulders sagging.  
  
Nami let out a crystalline laugh and shook her head "You could have said so!" she shook her head and moved around the car to get to the driver's seat "Let's go, you must be starving."  
  
"Whatever." Sanji smirked and got into the car himself.  
  
He was actually feeling pretty pumped and happy, like he hadn't had in a long while, so he figured he had definitely done the right thing accepting Nami's invitation. He patted his pockets as he searched for his cigarettes and instantly remembered that he had left them right on his desk.  
  
"Fuck!" he groaned.  
  
"What is it?" Nami asked, a hint of worry in her voice.  
  
"I left my cigarettes at home." Sanji sighed in a defeated tone.  
  
Nami deadpanned at him "I thought something bad had happened."  
  
"Well it is for me!" Sanji cried, dramatically.  
  
"You wanna go get them?" Nami asked as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"Thanks!" Sanji said as he ran out of the car and back to his building.  
  
Alright, maybe that wasn't the best start to that outing, but he was sure it was definitely going to improve. Or at least he hoped so.  
  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  
The ride to the mall was quiet and relaxed, both of them were still kind of tired, so they only exchanged a few words and let Nami's radio do all the talking. There was a mixtape blasting through the speakers, there were some Nightwish songs, a bit of Epica, some Lacuna Coil and also New Years Days. Nami had always been a great supporter of women in bands, especially as singers, and that was the reason why she mostly listened to bands with front women.   
  
"You know, we should actually duet some time." Sanji hinted causally, while they had just left Nami's car in the garage of the mall.  
  
"What?" Nami asked, her eyebrows creasing "Are you serious?"  
  
"Yeah, why the hell not?" Sanji smirked "I mean, you got a beautiful voice, we could do a Lacuna Coil cover, one of these days." he went on, shrugging a shoulder.  
  
Nami tried to bite back a huge grin and just played it cool, looking ahead of her as they rode the escalator and nodded her head "Yeah, sounds cool. We could do that."  
  
Sanji gulped back a laugh and nodded as well "Cool, then."   
  
That was truly the least he could do after everything Nami had done for him, and he would have truly enjoyed dueting with her… After all he had definitely had fun during that collaboration with Freakshow, he didn't need the spotlight to be always and only on him all the time.  
  
The two friends took a small tour of the foodcourt, trying to decide what they wanted for lunch, and Nami dared Sanji to try and eat at a fastfood just for the hell of it. Sanji wasn't going to budge, as he dragged Nami in front of an organic food restaurant that she did sigh a lot at the sight of, but still accepted to get inside of.  
  
A few minutes into enjoying his food, though, Sanji began to feel Nami's eyes burning against his skin in a very intense manner. He had a feeling it was going to happen at one point, he knew she was going to try and analyze the situation until she could start bombarding him with questions about how he was holding up. That was the downside of going out with her alone and not with Vivi, and if he said he hadn't seen that coming he would have lied.  
  
"What is it?" Sanji asked, a small sigh following his words.  
  
Nami shrugged as she stabbed a roasted tomato with her fork "Just thinking… How come you were up so late, last night?"   
  
Sanji looked down at his glass of water and shrugged a shoulder before he could take a sip "I've been having some troubles sleeping." he replied in all honesty.   
  
He didn't know if his sincerity came from the knowledge of how useless it was to lie to Nami, or because he actually needed someone to talk to. Maybe it was actually a mixture of both reasons.  
  
"I see…" Nami paused as if she was pondering the right thing to say "Is there something specific or…?" she left the sentence hanging, tilting her head to the side as she scrutinized the guy sitting across from her.  
  
Sanji's stomach knotted up instantly at the thought of the nightmares, the memories and Bellamy. He dropped his gaze to the table, unable to look at Nami in the eyes, too ashamed to admit any of those things. Yes, there was the thing with Zoro that was the biggest one, but he definitely didn't need anything more to pile up onto the ruins of his heart and mind.  
  
"Sanji?" Nami softly called out for him.  
  
"Hm?" he gave her a fleeting glance, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.   
  
He couldn't stop thinking about how much of an irredeemable, damaged piece of trash he was. He felt pathetic and worthless, he couldn't believe he had been so stupid to think that going out for lunch with Nami would have made anything better. Everything was still there, all the cracks in the wall, all the shards of glass were scattered around and all the wounds still open, still dripping with blood.   
  
"Sanji are you alright? Talk to me."   
  
Nami's hand moved to rest on top of Sanji's, but he had fallen so deeply into his own personal hell that when he felt her touch he jumped in his seat.  
  
"Sanji!" Nami exclaimed as she retreated her hand, not expecting such reaction. "I-I didn't mean to scare you…"  
  
Sanji's eyes grew wide as he stared at her mortified "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Nami! I didn't…" he shook his head, unable to actually say something that made sense in return.   
  
"Did anything happen? You gotta tell me, sweetie. Please?" Nami pleaded, and her eyes looked so incredibly worried that Sanji's heart dropped to his stomach.  
  
"I'm freaking out…" Sanji began.  
  
"I can see that." Nami frowned.  
  
"Something happened the night of the concert." he admitted, and just saying that felt like the boulder on his chest had begun to roll away.  
  
Nami's eyebrows drew together even tighter "You can tell me, don't worry." she encouraged him with a small nod.  
  
Sanji licked his lips, he was still fighting himself to find the courage he needed to confess something that he was incredibly ashamed of. So he decided to start out his tale from another perspective.  
  
"Do you think I'm a slut?" he asked, bluntly.   
  
Nami's eyes grew the size of the moon and her jaw dropped slightly "What the fuck are you talking about?!"  
  
"Just answer my question." Sanji insisted, his expression resolute.  
  
Nami shook her head slowly "I don't. I never did." she shrugged her shoulder "I slept with loads of girls myself, never once considered either one of us a slut. We enjoy sex, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that."  
  
A knot formed in Sanji's throat upon hearing such words. Nami saw it the same way Sanji did, she had never been one to judge, but by that point Sanji had genuinely no idea about what people (yes, even his friends) could think of him.  
  
"Apparently some people think I am…" Sanji went on, his voice cracking "I have even been offered money in exchange of sex."  
  
Nami's face warped instantly with rage, her eyes darkened and her voice dropped half an octave "What? Who the fuck did this?"  
  
Sanji began to nervously and insistently scratch at his right wrist, absentmindedly. "A dude managed to get backstage, he was kind of a big guy, too. He threatened and humiliated me, treating me like some kind of prostitute who'd just sleep with anyone, just because they asked." his voice kept cracking throughout the entire speech, so he cleared his throat "Said that there are people who go around saying that I'm an easy fuck." he felt tears welling up in his eyes and struggled not to let then roll down his cheeks. He looked away while Nami processed everything he had said.  
  
"Did he hurt you?" Nami asked, her calm was as scary as Zoro's, and it made Sanji's heart skip a beat. He shook his head, still sucking back his tears. "If he ever shows up again to one of our gigs you point him out to me, I'll hurt him so bad he'll regret even laying his eyes on you."  
  
Sanji let out a small, hollow laugh. "Security had him banned from the venue, I don't know what happened afterwards."  
  
"They should have slammed him into a cell and left him there to rot." Nami growled.  
  
It wasn't like Sanji didn't appreciate Nami's anger, but he felt so completely hollow that he couldn't even feel relief at those words.   
  
"I haven't been able to sleep since. I keep dreaming about being…" Sanji choked on the last word and let his eyes drop shut.  
  
Nami's hands both flew to Sanji's, squeezing them tight "You're alright, honey. You're fine. Nothing happened."  
  
Sanji nodded slowly. He couldn't tell her anything else. He couldn't tell her about the demons that Bellamy had awaken inside of him.   
  
"I'm so sorry this happened to you, you should have told us!" Nami kept going.  
  
Sanji let out an hollow laugh "And what? Look like an idiot and spend the rest of the night feeling even more miserable?" he shook his head "Alcohol and dancing made things a lot easier."

Nami looked down at her meal with a deep sigh. She couldn't respond to Sanji's words, clearly, yet her aura irradiated all the sadness and frustration that came with impotence.  
  
"I'm sorry I dumped this all over you." Sanji apologized as he took another sip of water. He didn't even think about finishing his food, his stomach would have pushed it back up the moment it traveled down his throat.  
  
Nami shook her head, her warm hazelnut eyes locking back with Sanji's baby blues "Don't say that, it isn't a burden, I'm just so mad that I can't do anything about it." she ground her teeth together, her jaw tightening as she looked away.  
  
Sanji frowned, his fingers ran through his golden locks "I never do this, it's out of character. I usually just… Put on my best, most irreverent mask and face the world like I'm constantly unscathed by anything."  
  
Nami nodded "I know that."   
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows, he was unprepared for someone to see through his act, but by that point it was kind of ridiculous to think that no one could tell he was hurting. Though in the past he was pretty damn sure not everyone could always tell what was actually going on with him.  
  
"I like this side of you better, though… It's more humane." Nami went on, a small smile creasing her lips "Showing it every now and then isn't too harmful." she shrugged a shoulder.  
  
Sanji snorted "It is," he smirked "I don't wanna appear as weak as I am… Especially now that he's--" he bit his tongue. He didn't wanna talk about Zoro, but his mind always went there on autopilot. He palmed his face with both hands and hid behind them for a while.  
  
"No, don't do that. Go on!" Nami pressed. She had been probably waiting for that all along.  
  
Sanji shook his head, his face still shielded by his hands. "No, we won't do this too, I already told you something embarrassing."  
  
Nami tried to remove Sanji's hands from his face by grabbing his wrists "Sanji you gotta deal with this whole thing. Are you just gonna let Zoro disappear from your life forever? After all these years?"  
  
Sanji instantly dropped his hands to the table, his anger brewing all of a sudden as such words were uttered.  
  
"He chose to. I can't do shit about it, he hates my guts and I lost him forever." Sanji sneered between his teeth as he tried to be as quiet as possible. Causing a public scene was the last thing he needed.  
  
"Lost him forever!" Nami snorted "Do you hear yourself speak? Zoro is in love with you, this kind of things doesn't just magically stop in the blink of an eye."  
  
Sanji groaned softly, his eyes rolling into the back of his skull "Just shut the fuck up about this, how the fuck can he love a piece of shit like me? I could never love myself, either."  
  
"But he does, that's the whole point. He has been in love with you for as long as I can remember!" Nami retorted a little louder.  
  
"Shh!" Sanji hushed her and looked around to see if anyone was staring, but everyone seemed to be minding their very own business. "Then why the fuck has he never told me about it?" Sanji asked softly, tilting his head to the side.  
  
"Because he never thought you could love him back, and he didn't want to fuck things up between the two of you." Nami explained like it was the most obvious thing ever.  
  
Sanji felt a tug to his stomach and one to the heart. His face warmed up as his cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. Zoro had a point, if that was his reasoning behind the whole ordeal, because Sanji had always made it perfectly clear that he didn't believe in love and Zoro knew it very well. But on the other hand, Sanji never could have placed his feelings for Zoro, and he never even thought about how he could have reacted upon hearing such a confession coming straight from Zoro's lips.  
  
He might have run away, in all honesty. There had been a time in which he would have absolutely fled, without looking back. All those information were running wildly through Sanji's head, making it spin as his heart threatened to burst through his chest.  
  
"Nami, I can't live without him." Sanji began, his voice shaky "I'm barely alive, even now… I don't think I can do this for so much longer."   
  
"Baby…" Nami whispered, taken aback. She immediately moved her hands on top of Sanji's, for the umpteenth time, to try and comfort him.  
  
"I love him… I love him so much I can't even believe it. I never felt like this and it feels like it's tearing me apart from the inside!" Sanji growled, one of his hands went up to clutch at his heart as if he wanted to rip it off. A few tears rolling down his sharp cheekbones.  
  
Nami's hand squeezed around Sanji's "I know you do, honey. I know." she leaned forward to wrap her other arm around Sanji's neck and pulled him in to press a kiss to his forehead. "You haven't lost him yet, I promise." she whispered against his skin before sitting back down.  
  
"How haven't I?" Sanji wiped the tears away "He doesn't wanna see me, he doesn't wanna talk to me…" he shook his head.  
  
"Just because he isn't willing to take the first step, that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to try!" Nami tried to encourage him "You have all the rights to try and engage any sort of communication with him. Try texting him, or whatever. You don't even have to call him right away but… Just do something. Anything."  
  
Sanji stared at her like an abused puppy dog "I'm not brave enough. I'm so fucking scared."  
  
"Sanji…" Nami sighed, looking like she was searching for the right words to comfort her completely broken friend "I know how terrified you are, but really… The only time to be truly brave is when you're scared shitless." she offered him a smile, her thumb swiping softly over the back of his hand.  
  
Sanji felt like crying even more. Was Nami actually real? Or was she just something he was hallucinating? Because she was seriously too much of a blessing to him. He couldn't believe it.  
  
"Jesus… That was deep." Sanji chuckled softly through the tears, and Nami sniggered herself.  
  
"I know, right? I can be wise too, at times!" she said in a merrier tone, clearly happy to see that she had managed to tear a small laugh from her friend.  
  
"Thanks… I-I just… I don't know what to say." Sanji shook his head as he rubbed at his nose and then tried to dry his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "We must have looked dramatic as fuck to others.*  
  
Nami shrugged "Screw 'em. They can think whatever they want."  
  
Sanji nodded without adding a word. He was completely drained of all his energy, he didn't know how he was going to face the rest of the evening. He felt like he'd have needed to sleep throughout the rest of the year.  
  
"Aren't you gonna finish your lunch?" Nami asked, nodding towards Sanji's plate.  
  
Sanji looked down at his food with a grimace "Of course, wasting food isn't an option." he said as he began to forcefully start eating again.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Zoro hated being injured, it meant that he had to take things slowly, not strain himself and basically sit around doing nothing. He couldn't train, he couldn't lift anything too heavy, he couldn't drink, he couldn't do anything that could take his mind off things. Surely Ace and Luffy helped immensely, trying to keep him occupied in any way they could, be it playing videogames or watching movies and series, or just chatting with him about the most trivial kind of things to lighten up his mood, but it didn't always work as much as they would have liked.  
  
He had received a call from Barto the day after the injury, he sounded concerned and even offered to pay him a visit, but the last thing Zoro needed was for Bartolomeo to come over to his house. He had appreciated the concern, but he definitely didn't have the time nor the will to see Bartolomeo and listen to weird musings and what he usually blabbered about. Zoro had tried to dodge every single reference to the concert, especially when Barto tried to talk him into going back to drum for the Crows, he nearly threw his cellphone against the wall.  
  
One night he had browsed YouTube to find more videos from the concert, and the more he watched Sanji on stage the more he missed him with every single fiber of his being. He could see small changes in Sanji's behavior, he saw how different he looked on stage, the light that always shone in his eyes while performing wasn't there and it made Zoro's heart ache. He had thought about calling him at one point, but he had dropped the phone as soon as he almost hit the call button.  
  
He was going insane, he became more and more aware of that, and he didn't know how he could stop things from being so damn awful. Zoro didn't know what to do anymore, his chest ached constantly, he was tired all the time from overthinking, his body felt numb from the lack of sleep. He missed Sanji like the air that he breathed, yet he was too stubborn (or maybe even too scared) to do the only possible right thing.  
  
Exactly three days into his recovery, Zoro raised his hand to say bye to Luffy as he saluted his brothers before leaving the house to go to Usopp's, hopefully without getting lost on the way.  
  
"Can you believe Usopp actually dropped out of school to become a tattoo artist?" Ace commented with a huff of laughter.  
  
Zoro shrugged his left shoulder "He's great at drawing, he did the right thing."  
  
"No, I totally agree," Ace nodded as he flipped through the TV channels "I'm just surprised Yasopp let him go through with it."   
  
"We didn't go to college, we're just fine. At least he's still studying for something." Zoro said as he stared longingly at the beer can in his brother's hand.  
  
"Luffy is definitely going to start asking our parents permission to drop out, too." Ace went on, oblivious to Zoro's gaze.  
  
"He's done that for a long time already, they should let him off the hook." Zoro said as he sighed and stuffed a handful of paprika flavored chips into his mouth. His right arm stung slightly, reminding him about the injury.  
  
Suddenly Ace's phone went off, he had All American Massacre by Wednesday 13 as a ringtone, and Zoro couldn't keep himself from air drumming to the song, using only his left arm, as soon as it started. Ace was nodding his head to the rhythm as he picked up his phone from the coffee table and checked the caller ID.  
  
"What the fuck?!" Ace's eyebrows furrowed.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked as he leaned closer to check the phone screen himself, his eyes widened and his eyebrows drew together as well "What the fuck?" he echoed.  
  
A grinning face that reminded greatly of a golden haired Luffy was flashing on Ace's cellphone screen, the name Sabo stood right above the picture. As a family, they never really did keep in touch with loads of relatives, mostly because Mihawk didn't have many living relatives, and Shanks' side of the family disliked the fact that he got married after his fiancée died of childbirth, and… Well, he got married to a man. Yet there was one kid who had never really cared about what his parents ever thought of the family Shanks had built for himself, he actually adored it with all himself, and that kid was Sabo, Shanks' nephew.  
  
Technically Sabo was strictly Ace and Luffy's cousin, but being the very well adjusted and close family they were, Zoro became quickly accustomed to being Sabo's cousin, too. Sabo's parents had always been a couple of homophobic, judgmental, hypocritical snobs, while Sabo had always been the complete opposite of them. He had always done everything he could to anger them, he slept with loads of guys, became a goth just like his cousins, blasted metal music at night, got a huge tattoo of Daenerys Targaryen's dragons on his back, got expelled from two schools, and ran away from home at sixteen to have his own life.  
  
Ace, Luffy and Zoro didn't get much time to see him, especially since he had become part of a freak show as a fire eater/sword swallower and would constantly tour the country, but when they did it was always an absolute blast. Seeing his call on Ace's phone definitely had taken the brothers aback, because you truly never know when he could be storming inside your house.  
  
"Put him on speaker." Zoro said as he nudged Ace. Anticipation was coursing through his vein as the ringtone kept screaming at both brothers.  
  
"Alright, alright." Ace nodded as he accepted the call, then pressed the speaker button. "Sabo?" he inquired.  
  
 _"Guess who's practically a block away from your house."_  
  
Zoro could hear the shit eating grin in Sabo's voice and it was so infectious that he couldn't help but grin himself. That was one hell of a nice twist for the day, especially since his mood was so terrible.  
  
"I don't know whether to say that you're the best or the worst." Ace laughed out as he slowly shook his head.  
  
 _"Are the uncles home?"_  
  
"No, they're at the dojo, actually it's just me and Zoro at home." Ace precised.  
  
 _"N'aw, where's Luffy?!"_  
  
"He's at Usopp's." Ace replied.  
  
 _"Oh well, I'll be sticking around for a while, no worries."_  
  
Ace and Zoro exchanged a look of worry mixed with excitement, because there was never any way of telling for how long Sabo could stay at their house. One time he had stayed over for two months straight, and while it was one of the best fun they ever had, Mihawk tended to not really like guests staying over for an exaggerated amount of time.  
  
"Well, we're here waiting!" Ace announced with a shrug and a smirk.  
  
 _"You better!"_ Sabo said before ending the call.  
  
Ace and Zoro stared at each other sort of puzzled, but definitely in a good way.  
  
"What the hell just happened?" Zoro asked, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
Ace shook his head "I don't know, but I guess we're about to find out."   
  
"The hard way." Zoro added with a nod.   
  
Well at least the evening was surely going to take an interesting twist, one that wouldn't bore Zoro and that hopefully was going to make him feel better, at least for the rest of the day. He was very fond of his cousin, and he and the rest of the family hadn't seen him for almost two years now.

Was it the right timing? Zoro didn't know, but a change of routine could only do him good.  
  
The doorbell rang a couple times. It could only be Sabo, so both brothers sprung to their feet to get to the door and greet their cousin.  
  
Ace pulled the front door open, and right behind it was a guy as tall as him, slightly slimmer than he was, roughly shoulder length dirty blond hair framed his features. A scar from accidentally burning himself adorned the area of his left eye, yet it didn't diminish his handsomeness one bit. The bridge of his nose was pierced and so were both of his nostrils, his grin held some metal too, as he sported four small spiked piercings on his lower lip that all together formed the so called shark bites. He was wearing a black Victorian, frilly button down shirt and a pair skin tight, black leather pants that were stuffed into knee high boots, and an average amount of chains, spikes and other sort of accessories adorned his waist, wrists and neck.  
  
"Oh my God, you look fucking amazing!" Ace gawked, jaw slightly slacked at his cousin's appearance.  
  
"Oh, please. Let me inside the house before lying to me, at least!" Sabo joked before he could hug tightly each one of his cousins.  
  
"Come on in, dude! This is such a cool surprise!" Zoro commented as he broke away from the hug and stepped aside to let Sabo in.  
  
"I have just finished a tour with my company and we were like an hour away from here, so… Here I am!" Sabo explained, looking as excited as a child as he stepped inside.  
  
"Man, you should let us know when you guys are close by, you know how much we'd love to see you perform!" Ace protested.  
  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Sabo sighed, scratching the back of his head and bashfully looking down at the floor. "It's just always so frenetic when we go on tour, and I forget everything I'm be supposed to do."  
  
"So, how long will you stick around this time?" Zoro asked.  
  
"A week? Two, tops." Sabo nodded "Don't wanna get kicked out by uncle Mihawk this time around." he sniggered.  
  
"I won't let him." Zoro laughed softly.  
  
His chest felt so much lighter, and in that moment he thought that Sabo's timing had been absolutely perfect... Until he started thinking about the kind of questions that Sabo could begin to ask, and that made his stomach knot up all over again. Maybe the timing wasn't so right, after all.  
  
The three boys moved to the kitchen to get something to drink while Sabo told them about the tour, then asked a bit about Luffy and Shanks and Mihawk. Zoro had kept mostly quiet as he chugged down some soda and just let Sabo and Ace get into a very animated discussion about fire eating and sword swallowing that he didn't even pay too much attention to.  
  
"What about your band, guys? Is it still going steady? I want news!" Sabo asked, dropping the bomb. It was only a matter of time, after all.  
  
Zoro stiffened up, he was sort of unprepared to answer, not because he hadn't seen the question coming from his cousin, but because he literally never had to tell this to anyone who didn't know about it already.  
  
Ace glanced at Zoro and shifted nervously in his seat. He was probably looking for a sign, for a word, for anything really to know what he could and couldn't say, but Zoro dropped his gaze and left him completely alone in the ordeal.  
  
"Uh… We're touring a bit out of the city with another band, at the moment," Ace started, voice laced with hesitancy "we, uh… We're doing pretty well but, for now Zoro has decided to take a break from it, so…" he nodded, leaving the phrase hanging.  
  
Zoro pressed his tongue against the inside of his left cheek. He knew more questions were going to come and he really couldn't dodge all of them, it would have been completely impossible. Not to mention the fact that Sabo knew Sanji as well, and he was probably going to wonder and ask about him, too.   
  
Once again: bad timing.  
  
"Oh… That's…" Sabo started, clearly not knowing how to respond. He was too polite to pressure either one of his cousins, yet he definitely wanted to know more.  
  
"There's been a bit of a mess, I was involved in it too, with…" Ace went on, Zoro lifted his eyes to look at him as he spoke "With Sanji, and… Yeah." he nodded "It is our fault if Zoro had to make this decision."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened at those words. He wasn't expecting Ace to publicly take the blame, nor he expected him to be the one to explain briefly what had happened to spare Zoro the pain. That had been truly amazing of him.  
  
"Thanks." Zoro mouthed, and Ace smiled softly.  
  
"Woah, that's…" Sabo lifted his eyebrows, his gaze shifting from Ace to Zoro "I'm so sorry to hear that," he frowned "I was just gonna ask how things were with Sanji."   
  
Yes, even Sabo knew. The entire planet and probably some alien beings from other galaxies knew about it, and Sanji was the only one who didn't. Yes, Zoro had got the message by that point: he should have told him.  
  
"They suck," Zoro nodded "they couldn't be worse."   
  
Sabo's frown deepened, and he moved a hand to rest on Zoro's shoulder "I'm incredibly sorry, but believe me… It's hard to think about you two not being able to make up for whatever's happened."  
  
Zoro smiled a hollow smile and shrugged, his right arm stung but he didn't even flinch "I honestly am not sure about that anymore."  
  
Sabo squeezed Zoro's shoulder softly, in an affectionate manner "Look why don't we go out, huh? I have some stuff to buy, because I lost one of my bags while on tour so I'd really need to get to the mall. And then we could tell Usopp and Luffy to join us for dinner or something?"  
  
Zoro wasn't too keen on going out, but he could have used the distraction, especially now that the bomb had been dropped and the secret was out.  
  
"I guess?" Zoro said as he turned to Ace.  
  
"Sure, yeah! I mean, Luffy's gonna freak out when he finds out you're here!" Ace laughed in excitement.  
  
"I can't wait to see him, either!" Sabo laughed himself.  
  
And so it was decided. The three young men all got ready to go out, and in thirty minutes they were on their way to the mall, music from Sabo's iPod blasting through Ace's car speakers and their voices making a loud choir for everyone to hear.  
  
The mood had lightened up, and from the moment they set foot into the mall the only things the boys talked about was how Sabo had managed to lose an entire bag filled with makeup products, cosmetics of sorts and pretty much everything he needed to wash and take care of himself. So the purpose of their trip to the mall was that of rebuilding the bag that he had either abandoned somewhere, or that had been stolen from him.  
  
As usual, many people turned their heads to look the guys as they strolled through the mall, their skins were thick by that point, they didn't care if people found it odd to see a bunch of boys all dressed in weird black clothes, with tons of leather bracelets and chokers, spikes and chains. They didn't care if people couldn't stop commenting on the makeup they wore, everything washed over them like it was nothing, and people seemed to be way too disappointed by their lack of comebacks.   
  
"Yeah, they're always staring at the scar on my face like I'm going to melt in front of them or something," Sabo smirked as they made their way to the Nyx Cosmetic store "but the best part is when I tell them that I got it while mastering my fire eating skills. The way the blood in their faces drains completely is just too much fun!" he laughed.  
  
"I can only imagine the reactions you get when you add that you also swallow swords." Ace added with a grin.  
  
"Cousin," Sabo turned to look at him and placed a hand on his shoulder "that's something that gets you laid like nothing else does."  
  
"Jesus…" Zoro whispered as he let a laugh erupt from his throat, his head shaking slowly.  
  
"You gotta teach me, honestly." Ace nodded with his eyebrows raised.  
  
"I thought you had a boyfriend, already?" Sabo asked with a frown.  
  
"And I love him so much that I wanna swallow his entire sword down." Ace added.  
  
Sabo and Zoro nearly threw themselves to the floor in hysterics.

"You're gonna have to introduce him to me, these days." Sabo said after he had regained some composure.

"I will, don't worry." Ace assured him with a nod.  
  
They stayed into the store for a good twenty/thirty minutes as Sabo had to spend half a fortune to replenish at least part of his collection, and in the meantime he also bought a couple of black lipsticks as a gift for Zoro and Ace.   
  
They wandered inside a Hot Topic to see if there was anything remotely nice to buy, some accessories or pieces of clothing that they could have fit into their closets, but they didn't really feel like digging into piles of nothingness, so they left the store a few minutes after entering it.  
  
Sabo would have liked to find a store that also sold body and face paint, since he often smeared himself in black and white paint for his shows, but the mall they were at didn't have a more theatrical makeup store, so they settled for having a drink.  
  
"I wish I could ask you guys so many things, I am so sorry I only get to see you like… Every two years." Sabo commented with a frown as they sat by a small round table, nursing beers (and a coke for Zoro).  
  
"It's alright, we get that you're a drifter," Zoro shrugged "we learned that, by now." he smirked softly.  
  
"It's great, but also exhausting." Sabo sighed "And you guys, Luffy and the uncles are my only family, so it's hard to stay away from you so much." he licked his lips, looking down at his beer.  
  
Zoro felt so bad for Sabo, he had always been the biggest rebel of the family, running away from his parents, never looking back, yet he was incredibly fond of his cousins and uncles. He didn't know how hard it must have been for him to make the decisions he had at such a young age, but he had done a great job at building up his own life, as crazy as it was.  
  
Zoro's eyes wandered around as his ears were focused on listening to Ace and Sabo talk, and it was then that Zoro nearly dropped the coke he was holding in his hand.  
  
"Holy shit." he muttered, eyes not leaving the spot they had settled on.  
  
"What?" Ace asked.  
  
"Fuck…" Zoro mumbled as he set the coke on top of the table.  
  
"What is–" Ace's tone went from exasperated to surprised "Oh."  
  
"Oh!" Sabo echoed.  
  
The three pairs of eyes were now all staring into the same direction. The bar they were sitting at wasn't very far away from a Victoria's Secret store, and inside, picking up pieces of lingerie, were no other than Nami, Vivi and… Sanji.  
  
"Man, this is your chance!" Sabo said suddenly as he clapped a hand on Zoro's back.  
  
Zoro's heart was racing so fast in his chest that he could feel it hammer its way up his throat. His arms felt numb, and a million thoughts were running through his mind, yet the only one that mattered was the one that told him to run.  
  
"I gotta get out of here." Zoro said as he shook his head.  
  
"Zoro, calm down…" Ace said in a soft tone.  
  
"Zoro, it really is the perfect chance to talk to him! Even just say hi!" Sabo insisted.  
  
"Shut up, it's not!" Zoro growled lowly, his gaze dark and threatening as he whipped his head in Sabo's direction "I'm not ready, and he isn't alone."  
  
"You aren't either." Sabo underlined with a nod.  
  
"That's not the damn point!" Zoro groaned.  
  
Ace stood up and patted on Zoro's back "C'mon, let's get out of here."  
  
Zoro looked up at his older brother and let out a sigh of relief. Thank God Ace understood the situation… Or maybe he felt horrible enough to do whatever Zoro wanted. Either way it was a win.  
  
"Ace!" Sabo protested.  
  
"We can't force him, he's not a kid." Ace shrugged "Plus we gotta go pick up Luffy and Usopp, right? Let's go."  
  
"Alright…" Sabo sighed as he reluctantly stood up.  
  
Zoro felt like he was stuck to the chair, his eyes glued to the figures moving behind the glass. Nami and Vivi were all smiles as they picked up corsets and bras, but Sanji looked a million miles away. He wasn't all dolled up as usual, he wasn't wearing any makeup and there was no trace of a smile on his lips. Zoro was probably imagining things, because from that distance it might have been impossible to say, but he looked thinner, and perhaps even a little paler than usual.  
  
Zoro's chest ached at the sight, he would have wanted to be able to burst into the store and hold Sanji into his arms, never letting go of him, but at the same time he wanted to run away. Run as fast as possible, as far as he could from all the heartache that Sanji could cause him. So he did, he stood up and walked away, leaving another shard of his heart on the table, and didn't look back.  
  
Ace and Sabo kept quiet, respectfully, as the three of them made their way to the garage. Zoro's gaze was stuck ahead, his eyes burned and his stomach was all knotted up. He felt like the biggest, most stupid coward on the planet for not seizing the moment just like Sabo had suggested... But what did Sabo know, anyway? He was always away, and didn't know anything that had ever happened between Zoro and Sanji, nor did he precisely know how things had gone down the drain with Ace's involvement.  
  
Zoro looked back. He saw the store in the distance, and saw Sanji walking out of it. His heart skipped a beat and it felt like an invisible hand had gripped tightly around his throat. He lowered his gaze, felt his heart drop to his stomach, and his gaze went to look ahead again.  
  
Like a robot, he followed his brother and his cousin to the car and took the backseat, resting his head back and letting his eyes fall shut. As soon as the engine roared back to life the music coming out of the speaker made Zoro's eyes snap open again.  
  
Sabo. What an asshole.  
  
"Can't you skip this song?" Zoro groaned.  
  
"Nope, it's one of my favorites." Sabo said as he grinned at Zoro through the rearview mirror.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, as the three Finnish cellos filled the car and Brent Smith's voice reminded him exactly how he felt.  
  
“ _I'm not strong enough to stay away._ _  
_ _Can't run from you_ _  
_ _I just run back to you._ _  
_ _Like a moth I'm drawn in to your flame,_ _  
_ _Say my name, but it's not the same._ _  
_ _You look in my eyes, I'm stripped of my pride._ _  
_ _And my soul surrenders, and you bring my heart to it's knees._ _  
  
_ _And it's killin' me when you're away, I wanna leave and I wanna stay._ _  
_ _And I'm so confused, So hard to choose._ _  
_ _Between the pleasure and the pain._ _  
_ _And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right._ _  
_ _Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind._ _  
_ _And I'm not strong enough to stay away_ _  
  
_ _I'm not strong enough to stay away_ _  
_ _What can I do_ _  
_ _I would die without you_ _  
_ _In your presence my heart knows no shame_ _  
_ _I'm not to blame_ _  
_ _Cause you bring my heart to it's knees_ _  
  
_ _And it's killin' me when you're away, I wanna leave and I wanna stay._ _  
_ _And I'm so confused, So hard to choose._ _  
_ _Between the pleasure and the pain._ _  
_ _And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right._ _  
_ _Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind._ _  
_ _And I'm not strong enough to stay away_ _  
  
_ _There's nothing I can do_ _  
_ _My heart is chained to you_ _  
_ _And I can't get free_ _  
_ _Look what this love's done to me_ _  
  
_ _And it's killin' me when you're away, I wanna leave and I wanna stay._ _  
_ _And I'm so confused, So hard to choose._ _  
_ _Between the pleasure and the pain._ _  
_ _And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right._ _  
_ _Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind._ _  
_ _And I'm not strong enough to stay away_ _  
  
_ _Not strong enough, strong enough_ _  
_ _Not strong enough, strong enough_ _  
_ _To stay away_ _  
_ _Not strong enough, strong enough_ _  
_ _Not strong enough, strong enough_ _  
_ _I'm not strong enough to stay away"_   
  
The more time passed, the more Zoro realized that yes, he wasn't strong enough to stay away from Sanji forever. It was more than just being drawn to his flame, it was his heart not being able to exist if it couldn't beat for Sanji, it was his mind being constantly haunted by thoughts of 'what if…?' and memories of all the beautiful moments they had shared. Yes his heart and soul were chained to Sanji, and maybe it was about time he let himself be stripped of his pride again and just… Try. Something anything.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you enjoyed the introduction of two more characters, haha! Some of you had been wondering about Chopper, so here he is! Also, I couldn't really leave my lovely baby Sabo out of this, could I? 
> 
> Until next time!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter needs to start out with two very important things! 
> 
> 1) My girlfriend FINALLY drew for me the official art of SIO Zoro and Sanji! And you can find them at this link http://majesticfassy.tumblr.com/post/151162500476/i-havent-been-on-tumblr-for-two-years she did an incredible job, and they look so perfect and spot on I could cry!  
> 2) One of my readers and dear friends, made a mindblowing video edit for SIO, that I like to address as an actual trailer for a movie about this story! You can find it here https://www.instagram.com/p/BK1VkD8j8Rn/?taken-by=zoxsan and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did!
> 
> Now back to the usual author notes! Thank you SO much for always being so amazingly patient and supportive, I don't know if I would have ever come so far if it weren't for you all! You guys are seriously the best readers I could have ever asked for, and I swear I'm not just saying that. This update isn't as late as the past ones, but I still hope it's gonna be worth the long wait. I'm working on chapter 22, already, and I'm going to try and keep at it without taking the usual few days of break after I post a new chapter, as I always do. 
> 
> Well, enough of my damn blabbering, you're free to read, now!

The sound of a small, plastic hanger falling on the clean tiles of the floor went unheard, completely silent as loud music and idle chatter filled the store. Sanji couldn't hear all of that, the sound of his heart was deafening as it hammered into his ears, his eyes were so wide that they burned. No one noticed, no one saw, but Sanji would have recognized _that_ green mohawk among an ocean of people.  
  
Ace was with him, and someone else too… Sanji couldn't quite focus on anything except Zoro's features as he walked far away from the bar table he had been sitting at. Sanji didn't know exactly how he felt, but it was nasty, it was something extremely close to sheer panic and he felt completely paralyzed. His whole body was numb, his ears muffled, his eyes could only truly see the back of Zoro's head as he walked towards the escalator.  
  
He felt a hand on his shoulder but didn't turn to look to whom it belonged, he was still completely enraptured by the view. His brain started working fast and messily as he tried to figure out whether he should have ran outside to reach Zoro, or if he should have just stayed where he was. Of course he was rooting for the second option, especially because he would have never had the courage to face him… Not after the night he had had, even if Nami's talk had switched something on inside of him.  
  
A voice in the distance called out to him, probably the owner of the hand that had just squeezed his shoulder to get his attention. Sanji finally came back to reality, he turned to look at the expression of complete confusion that warped Nami's features.  
  
"Are you okay?" Nami asked.  
  
Sanji didn't say a thing, he just pointed his finger at the figures that reminded him of Zoro and Ace, then his mind began to compute. If those two were out together without Luffy, it could only mean that they had made up, and maybe Zoro had gone back home, too.  
  
"Holy shit." Vivi said as she popped up by Sanji's other side.  
  
"Drop everything, babe. Let's get out!" Nami ordered as she started pushing Sanji towards the door.  
  
"Nami, what the fuck?!" Sanji growled as he stumbled forward, nearly running into one of the clerks. He mumbled an apology to the girl and turned around to look at Nami "What do you think you're doing?" he asked.  
  
"You gotta go talk to him! Just like I told you this afternoon!" Nami said as she tried to keep pushing him out of the store.  
  
"I'm not ready! I would mess up! And what if he saw me first and he's just running away?" Sanji explained as he tried to keep his voice down.  
  
"Guys, they're practically on the escalator!" Vivi warned them, and Nami used all of her strength to finally get Sanji out of the store, no matter the protests.  
  
"You're both insane!" Sanji cried out as he tried not to fall on his ass.  
  
He couldn't possibly run up to Zoro and talk to him. Not to mention that Ace was with him, and he didn't really want to deal with both of them at that moment.  
  
"He isn't alone, Nami. I don't wanna talk to him while he's with others!" Sanji snarled through his teeth.  
  
"He's right, there's Ace too, I don't think it could end pretty…" Vivi said with a frown.  
  
Nami sighed, hanging her head as she listened to both Sanji and her girlfriend. Sanji was beyond grateful for Vivi's words, he knew they could have definitely done the trick.  
  
"You're right…" Nami started, she lifted her eyes to shoot Zoro and Ace one last look from over Sanji's shoulders. "Is that Sabo?" she asked as her eyes squinted.  
  
"Who?" Vivi arched an eyebrow.  
  
Sanji stiffened, but dared not turn around and potentially ending up locking gazes with Zoro, in a moment when he'd rather prefer the floor cracked open and swallowed him whole.  
  
"Sabo is Ace, Luffy and Zoro's cousin, and the blond guy next to them reminded me of him." Nami explained briefly.  
  
"That's unlikely, he's always touring the country with his company." Sanji commented, even though he had actually thought about the blond guy being Sabo, himself. The more he thought about it, the less possible it seemed, anyway.  
  
Nami tilted her head at Sanji's words "You're probably right." she sighed.  
  
"But Ace was definitely with him, so I guess… They made up?" Sanji spoke in a soft, broken tone of voice.  
  
He felt kind of betrayed, even if he probably didn't have any right to. Ace was Zoro's brother, after all, they had to live together, so that was probably a very good reason for Zoro to forgive him. At the same time, though, Sanji couldn't help but being bitter about it, he would have wanted to be forgiven too, maybe even before Ace. He knew it wasn't a challenge, yet he couldn't help but feeling that way, even if he knew it was stupid and childish.  
  
"I guess he did…" Nami said with a small nod, her eyes going back to look at Sanji's.  
  
"They're gone, you don't have to worry anymore, sweetie." Vivi said as she gently squeezed Sanji's wrist.  
  
"I wanna go home, I can get a cab, I don't wanna bother you guys." Sanji said out of the blue.  
  
He needed to spend some quiet time alone, he needed his heart to stop racing in his chest and his legs to quit trembling.  
  
"Don't be silly, you wouldn't bother us!" Vivi said as she shook her head.  
  
"Of course we'll drive you back home! There isn't any problem!" Nami said as she flicked Sanji on the arm "Don't say stupid things."  
  
Sanji looked towards the escalator after the girls assured him that they were up for dropping him home and another wave of panic pervaded him.  
  
"Can we wait a little bit, though?" Sanji said as his eyes were still glued to the strangers riding the escalator.  
  
"Yes, we can." Nami said as a soft laugh escaped her lips "Don't worry." she wrapped an arm around his neck and pressed a kiss to the side of his head.  
  
Sanji blushed furiously and his eyes squeezed shut. He was still so incredibly thankful to have Nami and Vivi in his life, even if Nami embarrassed him like not many people could.

 

 

 

* * * 

 

 

 

 

A near stroke experience later, Zoro and the boys had picked up Luffy and Usopp from a McDonald's they had holed up in, after Luffy had insisted for pretty much the entire day that Usopp tried tattooing him, and Usopp had resorted to buying him food to take his mind off the terrible idea.  
  
Upon seeing Sabo, Luffy knocked over the chair he'd been sitting on to launch himself at his cousin, resulting in the two of them falling to the floor, hitting one of the cleaners who dropped a tray with tons of litter piled up on it, and getting kicked out of the restaurant. Usopp nearly died of embarrassment, while Ace and Zoro couldn't stop laughing their asses off all the way to Ace's car.  
  
"I guess we can never go back to that McDonald's…" Luffy dropped casually as he climbed inside the car.  
  
"That's not funny! Is the closest one to my house and now I can't set my foot inside of it anymore!" Usopp groaned as he scooted over to the further side of the car, letting Luffy and Sabo in.  
  
"Oh, c'mon! They were all looking at Luffy and I, you're fine." Sabo sniggered as he threw the car door shut.  
  
"No fucking way!" Usopp cried as he shook his head.  
  
Everyone apart from him laughed, and Ace turned on the car.  
  
"Guys, what if we go buy some grocery and cook dinner for Shanks and Mihawk? It would be a nice way to say hi, for me." Sabo suggested all of a sudden.  
  
"You're just scared that Mihawk is gonna kick you out the moment he sees you." Ace smirked at his cousin through the rearview mirror.  
  
Sabo rolled his eyes "Maybe…"  
  
This time even Usopp laughed, and Ace backed up the car to drive to the nearest grocery store to buy something for dinner, even though they collectively sucked at cooking.  
  
"If Sanji were here he'd definitely know how to make something amazing out of all this." Luffy sighed as they dropped the bags on the kitchen table.  
  
All eyes flew automatically to Zoro who deadpanned at them and started emptying the bag he'd been carrying.  
  
"I won't start crying just because I heard his name, don't worry." he commented dry.  
  
"We know that." Usopp nodded, yet stepped on Luffy's foot on purpose.  
  
"Ow! Why'd you do that?!" Luffy growled as he shoved Usopp.  
  
"Because!" Usopp snarled back.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and shut out the small banter that came afterwards. He was way too aware of the fact that Sanji would have cooked the best dinner ever even with the simple ingredients they had bought, but he wasn't there and Luffy needed to stop having a dig at it.  
  
His mind wandered back to a few hours earlier, when he had seen Sanji inside the Victoria's Secret store. The scene had poorly been pushed aside for Zoro to function normally around his family, but he couldn't really stop thinking about it. He couldn't keep from thinking that while he was surrounded by his beautiful family, Sanji barely had his father to rely on, and Zoro was thankful for Nami and Vivi being there for him.  
  
Zoro looked at the people surrounding him once again, all busy trying to do their part as they pulled things out of the bags, set the table, grab pots and pans. During those family gatherings Sanji would have always been present, bossing everyone around and throwing insults here and there because no one would do as they were told. Sanji was part of the family just as much as every single one of them, and no matter how much Zoro tried he couldn't feel truly and fully happy.  
  
He missed seeing Sanji with his sleeves rolled up and an wearing an apron as he moved around the kitchen like it was his own. He missed the smell of his cooking and its incredible taste, just like he missed lying about how much he actually liked his dishes. He missed Shanks yelling at Sanji for smoking into the kitchen and being slightly jealous to see him cook for his boys, but in the end always being grateful for Sanji's efforts.  
  
It's those simple things, the smallest details that makes someone's life beautiful, and Zoro was slowly starting to see how everything looked a lot duller without Sanji. No matter how much they cursed at each other, how many times they resorted to kicks and punches, at the end of the day they could rely on each other and have each other's backs, and the lack of all of this was making Zoro completely hollow.  
  
Yes, he still smiled and laughed every now and then, he was still happy to be around his family but there was no spark anymore. There was still that ache in his chest, that uneasiness in his stomach, that feeling of being incomplete, and all that sadness looming over him like a black cloud.  
  
"Zoro, are you still here with us?"  
  
A voice tore him away from his musings, and his head snapped back up. His eyes wandered confused among the people that were staring at him.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked as his eyebrows furrowed. 

Sabo briefly pointed at what Zoro was gripping in his hands "You've been staring at those cobs for quite a while. You don't wanna use those as dildos."  
  
Ace, Luffy and Usopp snorted with laughter as they kept getting everything ready for dinner.  
  
Zoro's eyes grew the size of the moon as he looked down at the foam tray with two corn cobs in his hands, then back at Sabo, and flung the entire thing at his face.  
  
By that point Ace, Luffy and Usopp were kneeling on the floor as they held their stomachs in hysterics.  
  
Zoro didn't complain about the joke, it was the kind of things that kept him relatively sane in those dire times. He laughed with his family and tried to stop thinking too much as he went back to actively help them prepare dinner for his parents.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
"Boys?" Shanks called out, his voice followed by heavy foot steps.  
  
His face was the first one to appear on the threshold of the kitchen, and he immediately let out a surprised exclamation upon setting his eyes on his nephew.  
  
"Oh my… Sabo?!"  
  
"Apparently, yes!" Sabo sniggered as he walked up to his uncle with a huge grin plastered to his face and a glass of white wine in his left hand.  
  
"This is such a great surprise!" Shanks cried out as he hugged Sabo.  
  
Mihawk popped out shortly after, eyebrows drawn together in confusion at the commotion, and then slightly lifted them up as he actually saw Sabo all wrapped up around his husband.  
  
"Oh, you're actually here." Mihawk said, a hint of surprise actually perceivable in his tone of voice.  
  
Zoro couldn't help but smirk at his father's reaction, and the way in which all the color had drained from Sabo's face over the sheer terror that Mihawk could infuse into people.  
  
"Uncle Mihawk…" Sabo said tentatively, his grin fading slightly as he pulled away from Shanks.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't kick you out," Mihawk reassured him "yet."  
  
Sabo's features relaxed as he heaved a sigh of relief and everyone else but he and Mihawk laughed.  
  
"Did you make dinner?!" Shanks gasped as he sniffed the air in the kitchen "And I can't smell anything burn, I'm impressed." he nodded.  
  
"Yeah well, I'd wait to taste it before saying anything." Ace curled his lips as he jerked his chin in the direction of the stove.  
  
"We can always order Chinese or something." Luffy chimed in.  
  
Zoro was smirking all the while as he listened to everyone speak. He was feeling peaceful and grateful for being surrounded by his family, even if it wasn't as complete as he would have liked it to be. He absentmindedly took his usual seat by the kitchen table, sighing contently at the feeling of comfort.  
  
"How's my injured child doing?" Shanks said as he was suddenly standing right beside Zoro, lifting the short sleeve of his shirt to check on his healing wound.  
  
"The fuck?!" Zoro exclaimed, flinching and tearing his arm instinctively away from Shanks.  
  
"What the hell, Zoro! I was just checking on you!" Shanks complained.  
  
"What happened to you, anyway? I meant to ask but forgot." Sabo inquired as he sipped on the last drops of his wine.  
  
Mihawk rolled his eyes into the back of his skull "Did you really have to ask in front of your uncle?" he groaned.  
  
"W-why?" Sabo frowned.  
  
"What happened to him is…" Shanks started as he straighten up, placing his hand on top of Zoro's head, just to have it batted away by him "His father decided it was an amazing idea to spar with real blades instead of wooden ones, when Zoro's mind was clearly not ready for it."  
  
"Jesus Christ…" Zoro muttered as he covered his face with both hands.  
  
"This will probably never stop being funny." Luffy failed to whisper to Ace and Usopp who tried to bite back their laughs.  
  
"Zoro is going through a hard time, and my husband decided it was the right moment to wield an actual katana against him, and ended up slicing our son up." Shanks went on.  
  
"You make it sound like I gutted him." Mihawk deadpanned.  
  
"You could have!" Shanks retorted "You're lucky it was just an arm!"  
  
"Alright, alright, I get it. Now I know, no need to argue over it!" Sabo tried to end it with a nervous laugh.  
  
"You just released the Kraken, boy. It won't be easy putting it back to the bottom of the ocean." Ace said as he patted Sabo's shoulder.  
  
"I noticed..." Sabo bit his lower lip, then threw Mihawk a panicked glance "He's so gonna kick me out."Just like Ace had foretold, forcing the kraken back to the bottom of the ocean wasn't exactly easy. Shanks and Mihawk argued for a good fifteen minutes, no matter how many times Zoro had tried to put the whole story to rest, and all the while Sabo wanted to crawl into the fridge and freeze to death.  
  
It was only after Luffy had stepped into the conversation saying that he wanted to drop out of school that the attention focused on him and how Mihawk and Shanks were adamant on him continuing his studies, to which everyone else retorted stating that none of them had gone further to school and they were all doing just fine.  
  
A good hour after those banters, the family finally sat down to eat dinner and enjoy each others' company like it rarely happened as of lately. Everyone wanted to hear all about Sabo's adventures, the places he had visited, the people he met and all the weird things his companions were able to do.  
  
It was incredibly cozy and relaxing, and Zoro's mind had finally emptied of all the thoughts that were disrupting his calm, and he had been so actively drawn into the conversation that he never even once managed to let his mind wander. The food had certainty done its part, and Shanks had finally caved in and let him drink some of the wine and beer that everyone else was enjoying, making everything even easier.  
  
An hour bled into the other, laughter turned into yawning, talking turned into mumbling, and bed time finally arrived. Sabo offered to wash the dishes, and Shanks said that he would have helped him out, since he was apparently in the mood to keep chatting.  
  
"You wanna share my bed or Zoro's?" Ace asked, fingers running through his hair before everyone left the kitchen.  
  
"That's dirty, ooh!" Sabo smirked.  
  
"Sabo, please." Ace shook his head.  
  
Zoro was sort of hoping he wasn't going to pick his room, because he just wanted to go to sleep and he knew that the moment he and Sabo were going to be alone the blond would have started asking all the questions he shouldn't have.  
  
"Fine, fine… I'll sleep with you, if Smoker isn't gonna be jealous."  
  
Zoro pursed his lips, knowing very well that his parents still didn't know that Ace was seeing someone, now.  
  
"What?" Shanks said, eyebrows drawn together "Who is Smoker?" he pronounced the name like it was the weirdest word to ever roll off his tongue.  
  
Mihawk arched an eyebrow and sat back down on his chair, clearly ready for another hour of bantering. Ace turned to glare daggers at Sabo, who had already caused too much trouble in such a short span of time.  
  
"We're going to bed, goodnight!" Luffy said as he literally dragged Usopp away with him, and Zoro took it as his own cue to abandon his older brother and finally run to the safety of his room.  
  
"Night!" Zoro echoed as he slithered away with Luffy and Usopp.  
  
He knew nothing bad would have happened, but Ace should have been able to talk about Smoker to their parents in his own time, and when he would have been more comfortable. Sabo didn't mean any harm, just like with the whole commotion he had accidentally caused by bringing up Zoro's injury, but it was too funny that he just kept doing the wrong thing over and over again.  
  
"Dude, Ace's gonna tear Sabo a new one." Usopp laughed as they went upstairs.  
  
"Seriously, he's like a train wreck!" Luffy laughed himself, shaking his head.  
  
"He doesn't even mean to cause all this shit, but…" Zoro shrugged, sniggering himself at how amusing it all was.  
  
"That's the funniest part! It's like that Ben Stiller movie, what's it called?" Luffy asked as they reached the second story of the house.  
  
"Meet The Parents?" Usopp suggested.  
  
"Yes! He just kept accidentally making things worse and worse, even if he really didn't mean it! That's Sabo!" Luffy laughed out loud, and so did Usopp and Zoro agreeing on the comparison. It was definitely spot on.  
  
"Goodnight, guys." Zoro said once they reached Luffy's room.  
  
"Night Zoro!" Usopp nodded with a smile.  
  
"Goodnight, Zoro… Will you be alright?" Luffy asked naturally.  
  
Zoro's eyebrows furrowed in confusion "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
Luffy shrugged "Just making sure."  
  
"You're weird." Zoro shook his head.  
  
"Probably." Luffy smiled, then pushed the door of his room open, waving at his brother one last time before stepping inside.  
  
Zoro smiled himself, then moved on to his own bedroom. His bed looked more inviting than ever, so he didn't lose too much time in shutting the door behind himself, strip down to his boxers, and finally dove into his bed.  
  
He hadn't touched his phone for the entire evening, he had left it on his nightstand the moment he had stepped back home, after going grocery shopping with the rest of the boys. He wasn't expecting anyone to really look for him, maybe he would have found the usual social media notifications, but he had decided to take a break from those too, so he wouldn't have checked them.  
  
He shuffled underneath the covers, then reached out to grab his cellphone just because he had downloaded one of those stupid games that would have definitely helped induce his sleep. He grabbed the phone, unlocked the screen and immediately dropped it with an exclamation, as if it had burned him.  
  
Zoro sat up, his heart drumming against his ribcage and his breath suddenly ragged. He stared down at the screen of the phone that was now lying in his lap and still couldn't believe that the only notification he had was a WhatsApp text from Sanji.

It was happening, there was no turning back now, it was Zoro's chance too, he never thought it would have been Sanji to make the first move and that was truly blowing his mind. Along with his nearly exploding heart, of course.  
  
Zoro picked up his phone again with a shaky hand, and his trembling thumb swiped down to finally tap and open the message.  
  
_'i fucking miss you'_  
  
If Zoro's heart had threatened to rip through his chest up until then, he was pretty sure that it had stopped for more than just two seconds. His lungs felt frozen, his throat blocked as if concrete had just been poured down his mouth.  
  
Sanji missed him, and he missed him too. So damn much, so much that he didn't know if his body was actually going to resume functioning again.  
  
Zoro was just trying to figure out how he was going to act, what he should have replied, but in that span of time he saw that Sanji had started typing up again, and his blood turned to ice in his veins.  
  
_'fuck i shouldn't have said that im such a fuckin loser'_  
  
Zoro's heart dropped to his stomach. That was just so typical of Sanji, impulsively sending a text just to regret it shortly afterwards. Zoro would have laughed if he hadn't been feeling like he were on the verge of a heart attack. Sanji was still typing.  
  
_'or maybe i should have and i did well'_  
  
_'i dont care about looking like a fuckin fool anymore bc i miss u too much'_  
  
Zoro's stomach ached, and his head felt light. He didn't know what his feelings were actually doing, he was going through a storm of emotions. The two sides of him were clashing, one still trying to be stubborn and telling him to beware, but the other one was prevailing as it told him to just let go of all this anger and be happy, to forgive and move forward.  
  
_'i saw u at the mall today, i mean it could have been anyone else but not many people have a huge head covered in moss'_  
  
So Sanji had seen him, he didn't think he would have, and for a moment he felt a small rush of panic surge but being quickly washed away by the rest of the text. Zoro's eyes fluttered shut for a few moment, and a teary laugh escaped his lips. What an idiot. Sanji could make fun of Zoro at any moment in life, even after everything that had happened, but there was no way Zoro could be mad… Not anymore.  
  
Zoro knew that Sanji was on a roll, so he let him write as much as he needed to, resulting in one of his usual monologues.  
  
_'i saw ace with u too u guys made up im happy'_  
  
Zoro tensed up right away. That was a low blow and he knew it, he could read the venom in those words even if he couldn't hear them being uttered, even if he couldn't see the ill-concealed scorn painted all over Sanji's features.  
  
_'i saw someone else too… u got urself a blond boy toy at last?'_  
  
Zoro's fingers loosened their grip on the cellphone and let it slide out of his hand again, to land on the mattress still facing upwards. That was just uncalled for, Sanji never knew where was the line between what was acceptable and what wasn't. That was why the shitstorm had started in the first place and what made Zoro rethink immediately where he actually stood.  
  
There was a small pause during which Zoro kept staring at the slowly blackening screen of his cellphone while Sanji had stopped typing. He didn't want to reply now, not anymore, and he had wished Sanji wouldn't have bothered texting him at all. Zoro just wanted to switch off his phone and go to sleep, even if Sanji's words were going to torment him like a damn poltergeist.  
  
Another couple buzzes. The screen lit up again. Sanji had resumed his writing and Zoro left the phone on the mattress as he unlocked the screen to read what bullshit he had come up with, now.  
  
_'fuck i truly am an asshole i shouldnt have said that im so sorry zoro'_  
  
Zoro's throat knotted up and his eyes fell shut again as he took in a shaky breath. Reading his name written by Sanjj had definitely done a number on him… Why was it so easy for that damn blond to break him? He felt so pathetic.  
  
_'please answer me dont let me write a novel of bullcrap'_  
  
Zoro shook his head and let out a sharp breath. He grabbed his phone again and got to typing.  
  
_'yeah u are a fucking idiot thats no news. and i got no boy toys it was sabo u jerk'_  
  
Zoro didn't even bother rereading such few words and just pressed the send button. He didn't feel like adding anything else just yet, not after the amazing boy toy stunt that Sanji had managed to pull.  
  
_'sabo??? so it was really him??? He's back???'_  
  
What a question mark enthusiast.  
  
_'yeah he's staying over for a couple weeks'_  
  
Zoro was starting to feel more and more at ease. His heart and stomach were still on edge, but he was able to finally lay back down in his bed instead of being as tense as a violin string.  
  
He still had a hard time believing that he was really talking to Sanji, though. It felt incredibly surreal, because they hadn't had any kind of contact for such a long time but falling back into conversation with him had been so ridiculously easy.  
  
_'i see thats cool'_  
  
Zoro knew that Sanji was probably keeping from writing more, perhaps asking Zoro to tell Sabo he said hi, or even telling him that he would have liked to meet him after almost two years of not seeing him.  
  
_'im sure he'd like to see u after all this time'_  
  
Zoro hit the send button and waited for an answer, feeling like he was just dancing around the real reason they were texting in the first place. He stared down at his words, lower lip worried between his teeth in the process, then decided it was time to pull out the stick he had voluntarily stuck far up his ass, because if Sanji had done it, then it was about time he did it too. While Sanji was typing his own reply, Zoro beat him to it and sent something else.  
  
_'i fuckin miss u too'_  
  
The phrase _'Cook is typing…'_ suddenly disappeared to make room for a single world _'online'_. Had he died? Possibly, even if Zoro hadn't really hoped for that outcome.

Should he text again and ask if he was okay? No, no, that would have sounded maniacal, he should have just waited at least another while to do that. He couldn't have possibly made a false step, Sanji had been the one to write that as an opening to their conversation. Zoro convinced himself that he was merely overreacting to the whole situation, maybe he should have just locked the screen to stop obsessing over it, or he should have randomly browsed through Instagram or something to keep busy.  
  
Maybe he should have downloaded another game, one of those stupid games that are able to suck you in for hours on end. Yes, that sounded like a fair option. Zoro opened the Play Store and began to browse through the game section in search of something that looked even just remotely funny or interesting.  
  
Buzz buzz.  
  
Alright, he didn't need a new game, Sanji was still alive. Zoro heaved a sigh and opened WhatsApp once again, directly on his conversation with Sanji.  
  
_'i miss being at ur house and sleeping cuddled up to u. this bed is so small and lonely. fuck i even miss listening to u snore like a shitty truck'_  
  
There was a fluttering inside Zoro's stomach, but at the same time he couldn't help the laugh that erupted from his throat. What an idiot, he really missed his stupid comments so much, he missed every kind of interaction he could have had with Sanji like air, and now it was like breathing again.  
  
_'its not like u never fuckin snored u princess'_  
  
Zoro wrote, a smirk curling his lips, his eyelids felt heavy but he didn't want to give in to sleep.  
  
_'i'll show u a fuckin princess when i'll stick my foot up ur ass'_  
  
Zoro's smirk turned into a full grin as he replied.  
  
_'a class act as usual'_  
  
There was another pause, and this time Zoro thought that Sanji was perhaps mustering up the courage to say something else… Or maybe he had just fallen asleep. It had happened often in the past, when Sanji couldn't sleep he would call Zoro up and be lulled to sleep to the sound of his voice. Text messages worked too, at times.  
  
He had no idea as to where the conversation was headed. He didn't know whether Sanji was going to just stop replying, but Zoro's heart was once again on the verge of climbing out of his esophagus to abandon his body forever.  
  
Fuck. He missed him so much, even if his brain was still sounding all the alarms it could, Zoro's chest was aching from how much he would have wanted to just sit on his bed with Sanji sitting across from him, speaking nonsense. To swipe his fingers across Sanji's hands and arms, to card them through his gold and black locks. But the ghost of what had happened was still there, rattling chains and serving as a grim reminder of how things had crumbled to the ground.  
  
Once more Sabo's words came back to him, as clear as if he was hearing his cousin's voice in his ears telling him that he should have talked to Sanji, that he should have forgiven him, because to Sabo it was just impossible to think about them being apart from each other. To top it all off _Not Strong Enough_ by Apocalyptica began to pour back into his mind, each word carving Sanji's name on every inch of Zoro's flesh. Sabo was right, not even Zoro had ever thought it was possible for he and Sanji to stay away from one another… How could they have let things get so awful in such a brief span of time?  
  
Zoro's phone vibrated while thoughts of all kinds were swarming through his head. What was he going to read next? Another joke? More sour words? He tapped on the notification and went on reading.  
  
_'do u think u will ever be able to forgive me?'_  
  
Zoro choked on his own breath. What was he supposed to say? Of course Zoro would have wanted to forgive him, forgetting was a whole different story, though. Could he ever trust Sanji again? That was another important question that he wasn't exactly sure he could answer, either.  
  
One question at a time. There was no rush. He wasn't going to lie to Sanji, not even under the influence of the way he felt about being able to exchange texts with him.  
  
_'i think i could just not through whatsapp messages'_  
  
Zoro read those nine words over and over before he could actually tap the send button. Was it too cold of a message? Maybe, but it was the truth. Talking about important matters through written speech wasn't a thing to Zoro, he would have needed to see him in person to do that.  
  
_'thats something i guess'_  
  
Came Sanji's answer just a few seconds later. A small crooked smile tugged at the corner of Zoro's lips. He was being reasonable, at least, so Zoro decided to add something to his own previous answer.  
  
_'the fact that u asked to be forgiven is already a big deal to me'_

Zoro caught his tongue stud between his teeth and started chewing on it, nervously. He did mean what he had said, knowing that Sanji was actually willing to apologize made butterfly wings flutter into his stomach. It was a big step into the right direction, no matter what, even if it was still only behind a small screen.  
  
Buzz buzz.  
  
Zoro's teeth stopped clicking against the piercing but still held it firmly between the two rows pearly whites. The message popped up right below his own, since the screen hadn't gone into standby.  
  
_'ur so fuckin cheesy omg'_  
  
Zoro snorted, shaking his head and pursing his lips as his teeth let go of the tongue stud. Sanji was still typing, so he waited for him to send more as he nibbled on his lower lip.  
  
_'well if u want me to apologize in person… in three days we gotta perform at the Punk Hazard… we went there once for a Wednesday 13 concert, remember?'_  
  
Zoro's heart stopped beating once again. What Sanji had just asked felt like a punch square into his solar plexus that knocked the wind out of him. The information that had reached his brain was enough to send it into a metaphorical blue screen of death mode.  
  
He remembered the Wednesday 13 concert like it had happened just a couple days before. It had been such a beautiful night, Sanji had held his hand the whole time and afterwards they had slept together in Zoro's bed, curled one against the other like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow. It had been one of those nights in which Zoro knew that there was just no turning back in his feelings, he kept falling in love with Sanji harder and harder every day. That night he had softly grazed Sanji's lips with his own while the blond slept, and murmured a drunken _'I love you'_ under his breath before falling asleep. They were eighteen, and Zoro always wondered if Sanji had heard him or not… He was wondering even now.  
  
Was it fate that made The Crows play at Punk Hazard for the next gig, the one were Sanji would have wanted to meet Zoro? Or was it casualty? Did Sanji remember _everything_ about that night, or was it a venue just like any other to him?  
  
Zoro started to think that his mind was definitely overworking, everything was about to be blown out of proportion and he couldn't afford that, not in such a delicate moment. He needed to focus and not let his brain be overwhelmed by the past, he needed to think about the imminent future and how he needed to act, and the decisions he had to make.  
  
He didn't think he could watch his band perform without him, it would have been too much for him. It was too soon, even if he had been the one to quit, but at the same time it could have been the right environment for a talk with Sanji.  
  
The vibration of the cellphone made Zoro snap out of his internal turmoil. He unlocked the screen and read Sanji's message.  
  
_'i guess u either passed out or decided to stop answering. either way goodnight.'_  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't think he was taking that long to reply, Sanji was being a drama queen as usual, so he decided to respond right away.  
  
_'im right here i just got caught into memories from the gig u mentioned. anyway i will think about it ok?'_  
  
There wasn't a better answer he could provide, he'd rather stay home than torture himself by watching The Crows without him, and then having to face all of them and possibly their fans. That wasn't an ideal night, nor an ideal way to talk things out with Sanji, no matter how loud Sabo's voice was, in the back of his head.  
  
More buzzing.  
  
_'alright. goodnight marimo.'_  
  
A tug to Zoro's heart. He had always hated that nickname with a passion, but it had inevitably grown on him. He knew that Sanji said it with affection rather than actual mock, nowadays, and Zoro had surely missed that little detail, too.  
  
_'night curly brow. even if u shave them off they're still curly to me.'_  
  
Was Zoro's reply, and it was followed right away by Sanji's last answer:  
  
_'jerk'_  
  
Zoro smirked, then let out a long, shaky sigh. He felt even more exhausted than when he had got into bed. His mind was exhausting, his emotions were exhausting, and the last thing he had thought would happen that night was start texting Sanji back and forth. It still felt so surreal that Zoro had to go back and check on his phone if it had truly happened… He was pretty sure he was going to check it in the morning too, just in case.  
  
He tried to get comfortable underneath the covers again, he plugged his phone to charge the battery and set it down onto the nightstand. He didn't know if he was going to be able to actually fall asleep, not with all the adrenaline still coursing through him, not with all those thoughts crowding his mind, so many and messy that he feared his skull could collapse.  
  
Sanji wanted to see him, but Zoro still didn't know if he was ready to see him. Texting was one thing, it still did the trick but it was slightly more impersonal, having to face Sanji could have meant total ruin. Words accompanied by tones and facial expressions could take a whole different meaning, and as it was very common between the two, it could have resulted into an ugly fight. A physical one at that.  
  
There were so many factors to consider, and Zoro's head was so loud that he would have wanted to chop it off, but instead he resorted to putting it underneath his pillow and trying to flush everything out through meditation.  
  
Slowly, relentlessly slowly, his mind started to empty, his heart rate slowed to the common rhythm of sleep. Zoro drifted off, hands still balled into fists and head still stuck under the pillow. His jaw began to unclench, his shoulders relaxed and soon all his muscles would have gone to sleep with the rest of the body… Unless his dreams were going to turn agitated and uneasy.  
  
Come morning, maybe Zoro was going to make up his mind.  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A spoon rattling against ceramic as a coffee was being slowly but insistently stirred, the sounds of a newspaper being opened, the pages turning making as much noise as a mower. A voice distant and distorted unable to properly reach the deaf ear it was supposed to call out to. Written words and a bright white screen cascaded and flashed before vacant eyes, the smell of rich, spicy tea unable to reach uninterested nostrils.  
  
A heavy, large hand suddenly and none too gently placed on a sore, unprepared shoulder. Sanji flinched so hard he nearly knocked over the mug placed underneath his nose. It took him more than just a few moments to readjust into the room, reality coming back to him like a bad dream.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you, these days?"  
  
Sanji lifted his bloodshot eyes up to meet his father's worried look. Somehow Sanji thought he had never saw Zeff's brow so deeply creased, and his words still fell upon inattentive ears.  
  
"Sanji? Are you alright?"  
  
He heard him this time. Sanji blinked a couple times, then scrubbed a hand down his tired face.  
  
"Sure." he replied, then looked down at the mug of rapidly cooling tea.  
  
"Bullshit." Zeff replied.  
  
Sanji heaved out a sigh, then busied himself with large sips of tea. It wasn't too cold, yet, the taste was still rich and the temperature enjoyable.  
  
"I know I'm barely home these days, but it's hell down at Baratie. Still, I worry about you. You look like shit."  
  
Sanji snorted into his tea, then licked it off his upper lip as he set the mug down onto the table "If you didn't kick me out you'd have an extra pair of helping hands," he started, gaze locked with Zeff's "and not just _any_ hands." he added.  
  
"I did it for your own good, you were going to hurt yourself or mess up the dishes, and you know it!" Zeff started "You need to be focused, and your mind is never where it's supposed to be, until you've solved what's been haunting you."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes so far in the back of his skull that he could have easily passed out "This is the opposite of helping me, you shitty geezer."  
  
Zeff sat down again, across from Sanji. The young man could feel his father's eyes burning on his skin as he stared down at the amber beverage inside the mug. After the heartfelt moment they had shared a while back, Sanji and Zeff hadn't had much time to spend together. Sanji didn't feel like he owed Zeff a change of attitude, nothing changes overnight after all, especially not after he decided to fire him.  
  
"I can't have you in the kitchen, you'd literally set fire to it. Your lack of focus is too dangerous." Zeff explained in a soft, gentle tone. Sanji could tell he was making an effort again.  
  
Another sigh, sharp and exasperated, left Sanji's lips. "I'm literally losing my mind, here. I got nothing to keep me busy unless I go to practice. I think I cleaned up my room five times in one day." he shrugged "I don't sleep, because I constantly get nightmares, I just…" his voice died, he pressed his lips together as he looked over at his father.  
  
He didn't know whether he was supposed to say those things, but since Zeff wouldn't leave him alone the only thing to do was trying to bring him up to date with what was going on with him lately. More or less, leaving many details out.  
  
"Have you been eating properly?" Zeff asked.  
  
Sanji tilted his head to the side "When I remember, yeah."  
  
Zeff took that as an alarming sign, or at least Sanji figured out as much, since his features creased even further, and his complexion faded to a much paler shade of pink. Food was the most important thing for Zeff, it was the same for Lianne, his wife and Sanji's mother. They had passed all their knowledge of the power of food on to their son, and Sanji knew how different types of food could affect one's health. Zeff and Lianne would have never let Sanji skip a meal, nor feed him anything remotely unhealthy or that wouldn't have given him the energy to face his everyday routine. When Lianne stopped eating almost completely, Zeff knew that something was seriously wrong, hence why his reaction to hearing that his son was barely eating.  
  
"You're not allowed to touch the stoves, but I need someone to clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes." Zeff began "Even though you didn't even sleep, so I don't have much use for someone with no energy." he added shortly after.  
  
Sanji perked up. Was he taking him back to work? he tried to play it cool, even if his inner self was screaming in joy. Going back to the Baratie would have definitely kept his mind off the thoughts that were eating him up.  
  
"I could always come by after the dinner service?" Sanji suggested, clearing his throat "I can try and get some sleep, so I could be more useful."  
  
Zeff stood up from his seat "Alright. You can start by cleaning up these," he said as he gestured towards the mugs on the kitchen table "I'll see you tonight."  
  
Sanji gave a curt nod "See you tonight." he echoed as his father left the kitchen and the apartment.  
  
His eyes stared at the empty corridor of the house even after the front door had been clicked shut. This wasn't going to wash away completely the anguish that gripped him with its iron fist, but it was still a small start. Sanji needed the distraction and needed the little money he could maybe gain.  
  
Was he really going to be able to sleep, though? He didn't think so. Especially not now that his mind had automatically gone back to the night before, and the chat with Zoro. He felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden, he kept thinking about Zoro being willing to forgive him, but at the same time not wanting to see him. But then again… What if Zoro actually decided to show up to the concert? How would he react to that? What was he supposed to do?  
  
His head was going to burst. Or maybe his chest was going to burst. Or most likely both his skull and ribcage were going to explode.  
  
Sanji stood up and went to his bedroom, where his phone was still lying on the nightstand. He sat down on the unmade bed, his lack of warm clothing made a shiver run down his spine. He grabbed the cellphone, his finger hovering the WhatsApp icon as he decided whether he should reread the conversation with Zoro, or if he should just message Nami to tell her about it.  
  
Reading the convo again wasn't going to change anything, it was just going to make him obsess over Zoro's words even more, talking to Nami was his only option. He tapped on the icon and right underneath Zoro's name was Nami's, he opened their conversation and started typing up a message.  
  
_'hello beautiful. how are u doing? you're probably at school now but i really need to talk to u. call me asap'_  
  
He hesitated sending. Was it too tragic? Yeah, probably. Did he care? Nah, he truly needed Nami's input, no matter what she was going to say, he couldn't keep bottling everything up, that part of him needed to fuck off and let him live. Sanji tapped the send button and threw the phone on the mattress.  
  
He needed to put something into his stomach really badly, but at the same time he wasn't sure he would have been able to keep it down. Maybe he could have tried with the tea again, he hadn't even had half of it while Zeff was there. Tea and some cookies, or maybe a plain piece of toast. Yeah, tea and toast sounded like the best option. He could do that, his stomach could manage.  
  
Sanji walked back the kitchen as he turned on the ringtone of his phone, so he wouldn't miss a possible answer from Nami, or maybe… Who knew… Zoro could have contacted him again? Yeah, that was very unlikely, but he couldn't help his hopes.  
  
He set the phone on the table as he set up the kettle and turned on the toaster. Maybe he could have spread some jam on the bread, too, the sugar would have definitely given him more energy. Sanji's brain was working frantically on possible recipes, finding more and more things to add to his breakfast as a mean to escape any other kind of obsessive thought about Zoro. Well at least it seemed to be working, even just a little bit.  
  
It was when the toaster rang and the slices of bread jumped out that Sanji's phone went off, making him drop one of the toasts in surprise.  
  
"Fuck!" he hissed as he collected the toast from the floor then grabbed his phone, and as IAMX's _President_ blasted through the speakers, Nami's beautiful face appeared on the screen. Wasn't she at school?!  
  
"Hello?" Sanji answered, brow creased in confusion.  
  
"Hey, are you alright? That text worried me, so I got out of class to call you."  
  
Sanji's heart dropped to his knees. How incredibly sweet was she? He couldn't believe it.  
  
"Aw, you absolute sweetheart, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have written you that, I should have waited!" Sanji cried out, shaking his head "I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."  
  
"Oh, please!" Nami scoffed "I'm not gonna get in trouble, and I don't even care if I do… Tell me what happened."  
  
The kettle whistled. The water was boiling. Sanji turned it off and moved to pour the water into the mug, careful not to spill it and not to accidentally burn himself.  
  
"Well… I did something, last night…" Sanji started, way too vaguely. He took a seat as he placed a teabag into the mug.  
  
"You better not be about to tell me that you hurt yourself, or I'll kick your ass!" Nami sneered, clearly trying to keep her voice down.  
  
"No!" Sanji furrowed his eyebrows "No, not _that_ kinda something!"  
  
A relieved sigh came from the other end of the phone "Thank God… What is it, then?"  
  
Sanji nervously chewed down on his labret as he stared down at the steam rising from the mug "I… Texted him." he knew there was no reason to say his name out loud, Nami knew who he was referring to.  
  
"Oh my–!" Nami nearly shouted. Sanji imagined her as she slapped a hand against her mouth to keep from making too much noise. "Holy shit! You did?!" Nami went on, her voice was almost a whisper.  
  
Sanji nodded, even if Nami couldn't see him "I did… I can't believe I actually did it."  
  
"I'm so proud of you, oh God!"  
  
Sanji felt blood rushing to his cheeks, he was probably blushing like an idiot "Th-thanks…"  
  
"So? What did you say? Did he reply?!"  
  
"He did…" Sanji ran his tongue between his lips, they were slightly chapped but he didn't really notice "I told him I missed him. I nearly fucked up, though…" he confessed as he rolled his eyes.  
  
Nami let out a small chuckle, and Sanji imagined her beautiful orange hair waving as she shook her head. "I'm so happy! Did you text for a long time?"  
  
She was so full of questions, but Sanji had definitely expected it.  
  
"Not so much…" Sanji shrugged a shoulder, then dropped two spoonfuls of cane sugar into his tea and began to stir it "I asked him to forgive me, but he said he wants me to apologize in person."  
  
"Oh shit! He totally wants to see you!"  
  
Sanji's lips scrunched into a hollow smile "Yeah… Don't really know about that." he sighed, eyes fixated on the amber inside the mug.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Sanji could hear the frown in her voice. It nearly broke his heart all over again.  
  
"I seized the day… Asked him to come to the show, but he said he has to think about it. It isn't a no, but it isn't even a yes." he explained, then took a small sip of tea. It was hot enough to warm his entire body, and had some sort of relaxing influence on him.  
  
"Well…" Nami paused right away as if she was scrambling to find the right words to say.  
  
Sanji wasn't looking to be pitied, anyway, he had just felt the need to share last nights texting session with her.  
  
"It's alright… I didn't expect things to just magically be fixed again." Sanji said with a small, hollow laugh.  
  
"Look, you showed him that you care. You proved that you wanna fix things, that you want his forgiveness. That means a lot, I'm sure he agrees with me."  
  
"He… Did write that. Sort of." Sanji bit his lower lip, he remembered the texts by heart. He had read them so many times. "He said that me wanting to apologize is a big deal, but he couldn't handle such a conversation through texts."  
  
"See? That's great! Maybe he'll even come to the concert!"  
  
Sanji truly appreciated the enthusiasm, but he was incredibly skeptic "Yeah, right… That's unlikely."  
  
"Don't be so pessimistic!" Nami let out an exasperated sigh "Don't give up hope, until yesterday you thought he didn't even want to hear from you anymore!"  
  
"He said he misses me." Sanji cut her off abruptly, his voice breaking as he processed that concept once again. It made him so emotional.  
  
A muffled little squeal came from Nami's end of the phone, and Sanji smirked as a small tear rolled down his cheek, completely unexpectedly.  
  
"Oh my God, Sanji… This is so great! I'm stupidly happy!" Nami cried out in a small, excited voice that made Sanji laugh through a few tears.  
  
"Fuck, I love him so much!" Sanji choked out as he covered his eyes with a shaky hand.  
  
"Sanji, he might really come to the gig…" Nami said softly.  
  
It was like a switch had been flicked on in Sanji's brain. He let the hand drop to the table, his eyes the size of the moon and his cheeks tear stricken as he exclaimed "We need to play _Spit It Out_." he blurted out "Just you on the keyboard and my voice."  
  
Nami exclaimed herself "Yes! Holy shit, yes!"  
  
They both bursted into a little, excited laugh, and Sanji wiped away the tears that kept rolling down his cheeks.  
  
"We could even rehearse tonight! Just you and me at my place!" Nami suggested, she sounded nearly more excited than Sanji.  
  
"At what time do you get out of school?" Sanji asked, his brows furrowing as he thought about work that night "I got a shift at Baratie after dinner time."  
  
"You do? I thought Zeff kicked you out?!"  
  
Sanji let out an hysterical snigger "I guess it's my lucky day."  
  
"Fuck, we should celebrate but we got too much to do!" Nami whined "I'll be home at two, can you make it?"  
  
"Yes, yes." Sanji quickly nodded, so much that it hurt his neck.  
  
"Perfect! I gotta go, or else the professor will murder me. See ya later!"  
  
"Later!" Sanji said before ending the call.  
  
He stared down at the table for a few moments as his mind processed the entire phonecall. He didn't want to get his hopes up, if he let his heart get too involved and Zoro didn't show up – like it was most likely going to happen – it was going to crush him badly. He should have preserved his heart and his sanity, but the excitement and positivity that Nami had infused him with were taking over completely.  
  
With a stupid grin on his face, Sanji began to spread some strawberry jam on the piece of toast that hadn't landed on the floor, as he hummed _Spit It Out_ to himself.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Days came and went, and Sanji got into juggling work and practice again like he had never really stopped. Zeff let him cook a few times, but he mostly did cleaning work and got paid cash whenever his shift ended. Of course he had only done three days of work, but it had already made him feel a lot better – he had a lot less time to think, and focused all his energy into scrubbing things clean and keeping his voice perfect.  
  
Nami was doing a great job at trying to keep Sanji's spirit up, maybe a little too much, especially since Zoro was very likely not to show to the concert. It would have probably killed Sanji, but what could he do? Dropping by at the drummer's house was out of question, Sanji didn't think it was a good idea, especially not with his parents and brothers around. Hell, there was even Sabo in that house, now… Too many people. Not that they would have been alone, the night of the concert but… It was a completely different thing.  
  
"So you're singing tonight, right?" Zeff asked as he pushed his specks back up the bridge of his nose. His eyes lost into the list of things he needed to buy for the day.  
  
"Yeah," Sanji said as he stared at his granola yogurt. His stomach was completely shut, there was no way he could force any food inside of it.  
  
"Then you should definitely eat, or you won't have any energy." Zeff said in a monotone, he licked the tip of his index finger and flipped a page.  
  
Sanji grimaced "I can't even drink water, right now…"  
  
"Well, you got the brunch shift, so you better eat. I don't want you to pass out around the kitchen." Zeff insisted.  
  
"I _won't_ pass out." Sanji rolled his eyes.  
  
"I guess Zoro will be there, tonight?" Zeff asked, nose still buried into the notebook, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
Sanji dropped the spoon he had been fiddling with. His heart suddenly hammering into his chest, stomach knotting up even more as his cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink.  
  
"W-what?" Sanji nearly squeaked out "No! I-I mean… Maybe. I don't know."  
  
Sanji saw Zeff's lips curl into a smirk, the kind of devious smirk that he definitely didn't want to see across his father's face. Especially not while they spoke about someone that Sanji was in love with, that was creepy as hell.  
  
"What the fuck are you smirking about?!" Sanji growled.  
  
"Nothing… Just thinking about this risotto we'll make for lunch." Zeff said with a shrug.  
  
"Oh, fuck off!" Sanji cried out, throwing his head back.  
  
"I just want you and Zoro to make up once and for all, I can't stand living with a zombie anymore." Zeff said as he shut the notebook and took off his reading glasses.  
  
Sanji exclaimed "So you wanna get rid of me?"  
  
"I wanna get rid of the zombie, you stupid Eggplant." Zeff deadpanned as he shook his head "Do I really need to point this out?"  
  
Sanji didn't answer and just went back to glare down at his untouched breakfast. No matter how much Zeff was trying to change things between them, and no matter how pleased Sanji could be with it, he could still get pretty uncomfortable. Before everything with Zoro had fallen apart, Sanji and Zeff had never talked about love, nor even about sexual orientation, for the matter.  
  
Sanji had never hidden his sexuality, but he had never openly talked about it either. Still, Zeff had figured it out with time and maybe… Who knew… He had already seen something that bound Sanji and Zoro way before. But then again, the two barely spoke to each other in general, and not even in a very civilized manner.  
  
"You never know what could happen in life, Sanji… You really don't wanna lose a chance at true love." Zeff broke the silence again.  
  
A shiver jolted down Sanji's spine upon hearing those words, he lifted his eyes back up on his father, his sad and tired eyes were casually reading through the shopping list once again. Sanji stared at the crease in his brow, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and lips and wondered if he would have still looked somewhat younger if Lianne would have been there.  
  
Zeff's words were wise and imbued with pain. He had loved and lost to the cruelty of life, he would have wanted to love longer and harder, he would have wanted to have a normal life with his wife and his son, but fate had taken it away from him. Loss had destroyed him from his very core and had damaged Sanji almost to the point of no return.  
  
"Dad…" Sanji breathed out, his throat knotting up as soon as his eyes met his father's.  
  
"You'll do great tonight." Zeff nodded, eyes glistening with tears that weren't going to fall.  
  
"You can bet your wrinkly ass I will." Sanji joked, a crooked smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.  
  
Zeff laughed softly and shook his head "Eat your fucking yogurt, shitty Eggplant."  
  
Sanji huffed with laughter and picked the spoon up from the floor in order to toss it into the sink and take a clean one. He definitely needed to eat his fucking yogurt.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sanji's cellphone usually went off like crazy during the day of a concert, fans either began to tag him into photos, or tweets or statuses on their social media accounts, or the rest of the Crows kept writing on the group chat or calling him for details and such. That day was not so different, and Sanji was about to go crazy with the sound of the mobile vibrating against any kind of surface and making the most annoying noises.  
  
Fans had in fact tagged him wherever they could, some even messaged him to make sure that they could get a photo with him – like he never stopped to hang out with them, and the Crows just wouldn't settle on a time to meet. To top it all off, Brook had bailed on them in the morning because he had got a bad case of influenza and there was just no way he could accompany them, so they would have had to load the drum kit into Franky's van, leaving not that many seats.  
  
Sanji was painting his nails with the conversation open, as he watched his friends freak out through messages, and he didn't dare use his fingers to type anything and risk ruining his manicure. Not to mention the fact that he was actually dying to ask Luffy and Ace if Zoro was going to tag along, even just as a spectator. The more he thought about it, the harder his stomach churned and hurt.  
  
Messages in bubbles kept popping up as Sanji shook the bottle of black nail polish, making the small iron spheres inside click. Vivi was the only one who was chill enough to actually settle the situation once and for all:  
  
_'its no big deal guys, nami and i can take my car so franky and robin can take the van with all the instruments'_  
  
She wrote, then added in another message:  
  
_'sanji can ride with us, too'_  
  
He felt a tug to his chest. Sanji really missed the times when he would be the one to ride in the backseat of Ace's car with Zoro, and as he still desperately clung to hope… He really expected one of his brothers to say something.  
  
_'sounds great luffy and i can take my car too'_  
  
Ace replied, and Sanji's heart dropped to his knees.  
  
_'just u and luffy? i thought sabo was coming too'_  
  
Nami asked. Sanji bit his lower lip, he would have definitely wanted to type _'and zoro'_ right after her message, but he refrained from doing so.  
  
_'yeah yeah he is'_  
  
Ace replied promptly, making Sanji want to plant his face into the kitchen table. Maybe Ace and Luffy wanted to keep Zoro as a surprise, maybe they were just going to show up at Franky's with the mosshead without telling anyone. Or maybe Zoro just wasn't going to come and Sanji needed to accept this possibility.  
  
Only a few hours separated him from the truth, and it was impossible for him to calm down. He even ended up painting up to his finger by accident, and he had to manage his anger so that he wouldn't just fling bottle and brush at the wall. He wondered if there were any pills to calm down the awful rush of anxiety that was gnawing at him, but at the same time he didn't want to be too fucked up on stage.  
  
Why couldn't he just be relaxed, for once? Stress and anguish are the enemies of a good performance, and he was imbued in them.  
  
After his phone buzzed three, or maybe four more times, Sanji finally gave his input to the conversation, since he had been the only quiet one.  
  
_'thats fine by me i'll ride with nami and vivi. at what time do we meet at frankys again?'_  
  
He typed quickly, so that he could begin fixing the mess he had made all over his finger. He truly hoped he was going to have enough time to put together an outfit for the night without destroying his manicure, and without arriving late as fuck at Franky's.  
  
_'5:30 punk hazard isnt too far away thankfully'_  
  
Franky replied, and Sanji just sent a thumb up emoji in response. He still had three hours to get everything ready, and possibly get rid of the crippling anxiety that was going to make it impossible for any sound to leave his throat. He was sure he had seen some valerian pills on Zeff's bedside table, maybe he could have stolen a couple.

In the end he wasn't able to find any pill, so he just stuffed his duffel bag with fancy black clothes and makeup, and ready or not, Sanji was out of his door well in advance to walk all the way to Franky's. Of course he could have taken his own car, but since he was most likely not going to be able to even tell what a steering wheel was for, at the end of the night, it would have been completely pointless. Plus, stretching his legs in the cold could only do him some good, loner strolls always seem to make life a bit better.  
  
He let the cold envelop him like an old friend as he shrunk into the layers of clothes he was wearing and tightened the fake fur coat against his body. His fingerless gloved hands immediately reached for a crumpled cigarette inside a half crushed packet, and failed to light it up twice, as his fingers quickly started to lose sensibility in the chill. The first puff of tobacco didn't exactly warm him up, but certainly felt like a poisonous blessing to his tensed nerves.  
  
His long legs took large strides towards his destination, the pace steady but not too hurried, as people rushed by his sides, faces buried into large scarves, their eyes hidden by baggy hats. Everyone oblivious to the pain he harbored inside, oblivious to everyone else's struggle, the world went on at its own wild pace, unsympathetic, uncaring. It hit Sanji like a cold slap in the face to realize that nothing would ever stop, not even if he died. Life goes on, no matter the hurt that shatters you from the inside, no one really cares about your suffering, and if they do they'll never be able to fully comprehend it.  
  
Sanji kept sucking on his cigarette, the cold gripping at his chest and gnawing at his heart, yet he wasn't going to stop just like the rest of the world. He had a show to put on, an audience to entertain, friends to please, because even if you're dead inside _the show must go on_ , just like Freddie taught him. Just like Zeff did, even if he went on poorly, he still did it.  
  
He emptied his heart and mind, only focusing on how the cold was stinging his face and drying his lips, making his eyes water with harsh gusts of icy wind. He was getting closer and closer to Franky's place, and for a moment he thought about slowing down and getting there as late as possible, just to avoid any kind of human interaction.  
  
The closer he got to the house, the closer the concert felt, and with it the realization that Zoro was most definitely not going to be there. Sanji lit up another cigarette, trying to sedate the anguish welling up inside of him, the bitter taste of tobacco wasn't as disgusting as the taste of his unbridgeable sadness.  
  
His feelings may have been excessive and over the top, but he truly couldn't help the way he felt, the presence or the absence of Zoro that night was going to hold a very big meaning. Yes, he might have texted Sanji that he missed him and that he could have forgiven him, but words are volatile even if written down and stored inside a mobile device memory. Actions speak so much louder, if Zoro's words were true he would have acted.  
  
Yes, Sanji should have acted too if he wanted to be forgiven, but he was too fearful. Mustering up the courage to write to Zoro had already been consuming enough, to actually go to Zoro's house to speak to him could have resulted in having the front door slammed right into his face, and Sanji wasn't strong enough to bear with that kind of rejection. Hell, he didn't even know how he was going to react if – or more likely when – Zoro wasn't going to be at Franky's or at Punk Hazard.  
  
Sanji needed to silence his over dramatic thoughts and suck it up, he needed to fucking chill. He took one last harsh drag of cigarette and threw it on the sidewalk, crushing it underneath the weight of his heavy combat boots. He could already see cars parked in front of Franky's house and a few colored manes that belonged to his friends, a green one stood out among them all, but it was the wrong one.  
  
_Fucking Bartolomeo._  
  
Well at least his awful anguish was turning into annoyance, that was definitely a step further into forgetting about his pain. Even if just momentarily.  
  
Nami, Vivi, Franky, Robin and Bartolomeo simultaneously turned to look at him as he approached them, they were all smiles, except for Robin's small smirk and Bartolomeo's very uncomfortable expression. Good, he needed to stay away from him as much as possible.  
  
"Hey, handsome." Nami grinned.  
  
Sanji blushed, no matter the cold. Was he ever going to stop feeling like that around women? He mentally punched himself square into his nose as he finally came to a halt a foot away from Nami.  
  
"Hey, everyone." Sanji greeted as he raised a hand, then adjusted the strap of his duffel bag on his left shoulder.  
  
Ace, Luffy, Usopp and Sabo were nowhere to be seen, and with them Zoro, too. Their absence alone made his stomach churn unpleasantly. Fucking perfect.  
  
"Where are the others?" Sanji asked as he lit up another cigarette. His voice was probably going to be affected by the excess of nicotine, but he didn't care.  
  
"Late, as usual," Franky shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"Luffy said that Ace came home late from work." Bartolomeo chimed in with a trembling voice.  
  
Sanji shot him a dirty look, and the green-haired man quickly looked away, nervously nibbling down on his lower lip.  
  
"He probably got tangled into Smoker's bedsheets and couldn't get out on time." Nami commented casually as she whipped out her phone.  
  
"Nami!" Vivi gasped, as Franky laughed like an idiot. Bartolomeo was clearly trying not to laugh, too.  
  
"Whatever. They better get their asses here, soon." Sanji said in a monotone as he puffed away on his cigarette.  
  
"I'm sure they'll show up in a few minutes." Vivi tried to reassure Sanji, her lips curling into one of her sweetest and most beautiful smiles.  
  
At least there were still women in the world, that thought alone made Sanji feel slightly better as he tried not to obsess over the thought of who exactly was going to show up in a few minutes.  
  
"So, Sanji, are you gonna sing with Freakshow again?" Franky inquired. He didn't know if it was out of pure curiosity, or just to make conversation.  
  
Sanji hadn't actually thought about it, he furrowed his eyebrows as he let tobacco fill his lungs. He hadn't heard from Eustass since the night of the previous concert, so he had no clue.  
  
"Dunno, maybe?" Sanji shrugged a shoulder as he exhaled smoke out of the corner of his mouth "I haven't heard from Kidd, but something tells me he either takes it for granted or doesn't wanna do it anymore."  
  
"That would be too bad, your presence made the entire song so much better." Robin commented, quite unexpectedly.  
  
Sanji arched an eyebrow and looked at her "Y'think?"  
  
Robin wasn't the talkative type, she was more of a silent observer, and she had never actually talked to Sanji about his performances. Of course she had complimented him after gigs, but that was it, she never went into details. It was somewhat bizarre, but made Sanji feel all warm inside, he loved that kind of compliments.  
  
"I really do, I hope to see you doing it again. It would be a shame if they wouldn't want that anymore." Robin went on, a real smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.  
  
"Woah, thanks Robin..." Sanji muttered, a sheepish grin spreading across his lips as he bowed his head slightly.  
  
The screeching of a hard braking had everyone jump out of their skin, and as Sanji turned around with a colorful string of curses, he saw Luffy launching himself out of Ace's car.  
  
"Sorry we're laaaaaaate!" Luffy shouted.  
  
Sanji's heart dropped to his knees, all his limbs petrified in anticipation. They had arrived. Who else was going to step out of the Chevrolet?

Usopp scrambled out of the car as if it had burned him and glared daggers at Ace, as he stood on trembling legs.  
  
"You guys are fuckin' crazy, I ain't riding with you anymore." Usopp commented as he massaged his stomach with a hand.  
  
"C'mon, it was fun!" Luffy bursted into a loud laugh as he looked back at his ill looking boyfriend.  
  
"It was horrible!" Usopp cried, even while Luffy wrapped his arms around him.  
  
"Sorry, sorry! My bad!" Ace said as he stepped out of the car with his hands raised "Took too long at work."  
  
Sanji was staring at the scene unraveling in front of him but he couldn't really see it. He was trying to spot someone else in the car, but after Ace had thrown the door shut it seemed to be completely empty.  
  
"Aw, was Smoker being really good?" Nami teased Ace, but Sanji didn't really see anyone's reaction to that.  
  
Zoro wasn't there. He needed a moment to process it, even if he had tried to prepare himself to that possibility. It was the most likely outcome, after all. He stopped puffing on his cigarette and just left it to hang from his lips as he stared down at the glistening asphalt.  
  
"I thought Sabo was gonna come, too?" Franky asked.  
  
"Yeah, he is. But he'll come later 'cause he had to meet with his company," Ace explained "it was a last minute kinda thing. But he got his motorbike, so he'll be fine."  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
"Sanji?" Vivi called out.  
  
Sanji lifted his head, a chunk of ashes fell off the tip of his cigarette and fluttered away with the wind. He felt the cold gripping and squeezing his heart, but he managed to crack a smile at the girl.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You alright?" Vivi asked.  
  
Suddenly the weight of fourteen eyes was dropped onto him, and it was then that Sanji's mask fell back upon his face.  
  
"Why shouldn't I be?" Sanji huffed with a hint of laughter, as if she'd asked the silliest of questions.  
  
"I-I… Don't know? You just looked… Distant." Vivi explained, tentatively.  
  
Sanji shrugged "I was just trying to remember the lyrics from _Death March_ ," he lied through his teeth "Robin and Franky made me realize I kinda forgot them."  
  
"Oh… Alright." Vivi said, then exchanged a quizzical look with Nami who didn't add anything else.  
  
"So, shall we roll?" Franky asked as he clapped his huge hands together.  
  
"Before we go…" Robin cut in.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at her. That was such an odd behavior for the woman, she was usually very quiet and never really interrupted conversations. What was going on? His eyes went to Franky, who looked mildly surprised by her behavior as well.  
  
"I gotta tell you something that I only can talk to you about now." Robin went on.  
  
Alright, what the fuck was happening?  
  
"Oh my God, are you pregnant?" Luffy impulsively asked.  
  
"What? No she isn't!" Franky replied right away, then looked at Robin with a concerned expression in his eyes "You aren't, right?"  
  
"How brave." Ace commented with a shake of his head.  
  
"No, I'm not pregnant. This isn't about me, not really," Robin sighed, as her attention went back to the others "I'm not just a friend of the guys in Freakshow, I'm actually part of their record label company."  
  
"You what?!" Nami shouted.  
  
"What the fuck?!" Ace echoed her.  
  
The cigarette slipped out of Sanji's lips as he gawked at her, unable to say anything that could have made any sense. She was from Baroque Records, and she had never said anything?  
  
"Wait, were you spying on us?" Nami asked as her eyes squinted in a menacing way.  
  
"Did you use Franky to spy on us? You better not break his heart!" Luffy growled as he stepped closer to her.  
  
"I… Knew about it." Franky confessed as his gaze dropped to the ground, shamefully.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck is going on here? Are you fucking with us?" Sanji finally found the strength to speak. "What the fuck are you both talking about?"  
  
"You knew she is from Baroque Records, and never said anything?" Ace chimed in.  
  
"You probably fucking knew, too!" Sanji roared in Bartolomeo's direction.  
  
"Of course I did, but I couldn't tell you!" Bartolomeo said in his defense.  
  
"Why the fuck not? Why all the fucking mystery?" Sanji barked out, ready to lash out on Bartolomeo just for the hell of it.  
  
It was the perfect excuse to finally let out all the pent up anger he felt in Bartolomeo's regards. He still had no idea about what the fuck was happening, but he was so ready to knock out all of Bartolomeo's teeth.  
  
"Sanji, calm down!" Franky shouted as he stepped in between he and Bartolomeo.  
  
"I won't calm down, he's a fucking piece of shit and I'm gonna tear him the fuck apart!" Sanji yelled, his throat scratching painfully from the effort, his cheeks burning up in rage.  
  
"I didn't do anything, he just fucking hates my guts for no reason! I've always just idolized him!" Bartolomeo shouted from behind Franky.  
  
"You wanna fuck Zoro, that's what you wanna do, you damn leech!" Sanji roared as he tried to launch himself at Bartolomeo, but Franky held him back.  
  
"Stop screaming like fucking baboons!" Nami yelled "You guys are fucking impossible! Let Robin speak!"  
  
Sanji froze and stopped struggling. His face suddenly heated up as the embarrassment for what he had just said washed over him. He never wanted to say those things out loud, at least not in front of everyone. He knew they were all staring at him, so he limited himself to looking down at the ground as he lit up the umpteenth cigarette of the day.  
  
"I didn't use Franky to spy on you guys, I just really like him," she began, as Sanji's eyes were still glued to the asphalt "but I did have to study you and your talent, to make sure that our company could chose you to be part of our team."  
  
Sanji perked up at those words, his head snapped back up to look at Robin "W-what do you mean?" he asked, incredulous.  
  
"Baroque Records would like you to sign a contract, to become part of our label as professionals." Robin smiled.  
  
No. That couldn't be really happening, he had to be asleep.  
  
"Are you– what the f–" Ace slapped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"We… We are gonna become professionals?" Luffy asked, out of breath.  
  
"This is a joke, right?" Nami asked, a nervous laugh erupting from her throat.  
  
"No guys, this is _very_ real." Robin nodded.  
  
Everything was happening in a bubble, a parallel universe with its own time and space, Sanji felt his heartbeat slow down and miss several beats, but it was all just an illusion. The wind had been knocked out of him by the mere force of a few spoken words, words that could punch a hole through his chest with the strength of a battering ram.  
  
The world around him blurred as he looked down at his cigarette as it laid down on the ground, smoking away into the wind. The events unfolding before him were getting more and more absurd.  
  
Oh how things change. Words that would have made Sanji the happiest man in the world were actually crushing him like an ant. He should have rejoiced at the news, but he couldn't even manage to stretch his lips into a smile.  
  
How awful is it when even the possibility of crowning your biggest dream can't make you happy any longer?  
  
Because it wasn't just his dream, it was a goal that he shared with the most important person he knew, with someone he treasured far more than his dream itself. How could he be happy for the Crows to become professionals when Zoro wasn't there by his side? Sanji would have wanted to see his permanent frown relax into an expression of utter surprise, his eyes light up in sheer joy. Sanji would have wanted to turn to him and receive a bone crushing hug that swept him off his feet as Zoro's throaty laugh resonated in his ears. But he wasn't there, and maybe he wasn't going to be there ever again.  
  
So how could he be happy about that? How could he even accept the deal he was being offered?  
  
Sanji found his way back into his usual universe, time and space readjusted and as everyone was still stuttering and blabbering about Robin's words, Sanji took a step ahead and all eyes flew right to him.  
  
"We cannot accept." Sanji said dry.  
  
"Sanji, what the–" Nami attempted to protest.  
  
"Forgive me Nami, but this is _my_ call. You don't get to decide this," Sanji went on as he briefly turned around to look at her "Zoro isn't here with us, and I have to decline the offer."  
  
A coy smirk appeared on Robin's lips, one that made Sanji furrow his eyebrows in bewilderment. He had just told her that he had no interest in signing up with her label, how could she still be smirking?  
  
"That's the whole point," Robin began "we want the original line-up, or else there's no deal."  
  
Sanji's eyes grew so wide that if they weren't firmly attached to his head, they would have most definitely rolled out off their sockets.  
  
"No Zoro, no contract." Robin added, just to made things crystal clear.

"Oh…" Sanji's eyebrows shot up, this time.  
  
"We mean no disrespect to Barto," Robin gestured towards the substitute drummer "but he doesn't officially belong in the band, and he's usually part of the Freakshow crew, which is another major band signed with our company."  
  
"None taken, Robin!" Bartolomeo let out a nervous chuckle as he scratched the back of his head.  
  
"No, he doesn't belong at all." Sanji echoed Robin's words in a quiet sneer.  
  
"If you're able to fix things with Zoro and bring him back to the band, we'll be happy to see you join our team." Robin continued, smirk plastered to her lips.  
  
How could anyone blame Baroque Records though, Zoro wasn't just the drummer, he was one of the main authors and the other founder of the band. How could a band really function without a part of its mind and heart? Sanji knew that very well, and it was somehow relieving to know that they felt that way.  
  
"That's gonna take some effort…" Ace commented with a sigh.  
  
Sanji's head snapped in his direction and their eyes met. They still hadn't had that infamous conversation that Ace was pressing about, but after spotting him at the mall with his brother, Sanji was pretty certain he wanted to talk about his reconciliation with Zoro. Of course he got off easier, he was his brother and had a boyfriend, Zoro couldn't possibly hold a grudge against him forever, but it still annoyed Sanji. Most of all, Sanji was annoyed by the nearly exasperated way in which he had suggested that getting Zoro to come back to play with the Crows was going to be hard. Like he was never one of the reasons why he left in the first place.  
  
"I'm sure you'll find a way," Robin's eyes slowly scanned everyone around her "this is what you all dreamed of from the beginning, isn't it?"  
  
There was a small chorus of _'yeahs'_ , so the brunette's smirk bloomed into a grin as she gave a curt nod.  
  
"Then make this extra effort and I'm sure you'll finally make this dream come true." Robin concluded her speech and took one step back, as if she was trying to return to her more introverted role in the group.  
  
Everyone was left shaken by what had just happened, by the phrases that had just been pronounced, so they were all sort of lost into their own thoughts. Franky was the only one who probably already knew all about this, so he clapped his hands together once again to gain everyone's attention back.  
  
"I think we should get going, what do you say?" Franky suggested.  
  
"Sure, sure… Let's all go." Nami agreed as she promptly followed Vivi towards her black Maserati.  
  
Everyone else murmured their agreements and went to their respective vehicles for the luckily brief journey. Sanji hesitated, mostly because his brain still couldn't fully process what had just happened. He was the last one to get into the designated car, and when he did it, he did it slowly and with his head hanging low, not even noticing the luxury he was surrounded with.  
  
"You okay, sweetie?" Vivi asked as she turned around to look at Sanji.  
  
"Yes, Vivi. Don't worry about me." a hollow smile curled Sanji's lips moments before his gaze fell back to his lap.  
  
Nami didn't add anything as Vivi fired up the engine, and Sanji was enormously thankful for that. He didn't need to hear more words, didn't need more confusion added to his already overloaded mind. Sanji listened to the car purr back to life, but ignored the music coming from the speakers as he started to think about what his course of action was going to be.  
  
Of course the most efficient way for Zoro to come back to the band was to simply tell him about the Baroque Records offer. At the same time Sanji thought that no matter how inviting the deal could have sounded, Zoro could have still refused to come back. Zoro had been willing to give up on his dream to stay away from Sanji since the beginning, it wasn't so crazy to imagine that he would have passed on the opportunity to sign in with a record label.  
  
What had happened between him and Ace had ruined more things that Sanji could have ever thought. He had lost the person he loved the most, compromised the band leaving it with a substitute drummer, and now the only record label that really counted for underground bands in the country was only willing to let the Crows sign a contract if Zoro would have come back to them. It was like tipping a Domino tile and causing a chain reaction of pure crap.  
  
Sanji didn't know how he felt about all of that, in fact he felt completely powerless. He couldn't deny that he was glad about not being able to sign up without Zoro, because he just wouldn't have wanted to do it without him. Still he thought about all the work, the sweat and the tears that had cost him and the others to get to where they were now as a band, and it felt so awful.  
  
It was a lot like having the possibility of achieving their dreams at an arm's reach, but having two broken arms. The fulfillment was standing there, so close yet so unreachable, Sanji could almost touch it but his hands couldn't grab it. It felt like utter defeat and failure, but most of all Sanji felt like he had betrayed not only Zoro, not only himself, but the rest of his friends. Everyone was irremediably being affected by the chain reaction, and Sanji hated it.  
  
For a moment he thought it would have been so much easier to give up and announce his defeat. To just roll over on his side and close his eyes, letting the vultures enjoy the feast of his sorry self. He could call it a day, disband and leave the others free to do whatever they wanted… But would it be fair? Would surrender be the right solution? The proper ending for the fighter that Sanji truly was?  
  
Lianne wouldn't have allowed him to, even when he was just a little kid she always wanted him to fight for his rights and beliefs, to never give up. Zeff would have told him just the same, hell he had told him numerous times lately to go and live his dream, get back what made him happy. Zoro… What would have Zoro wanted? Did he still care about Murder Of Crows? Was he still willing to leave everything behind to save their dream? To save what they had always had? Sanji wasn't so sure, but he was done blaming him.  
  
The only hope for Murder Of Crows to become professionals was that Sanji actually got the chance to properly apologize and fix things between he and Zoro, no matter how broken they might have been.  
  
Sanji's hand hovered the pocket of his coat, his slender fingers slithered through the soft faux fur and traced the silhouette of his cellphone, as he debated whether he should have told Zoro about the deal or not. Doing so would have made Sanji look awfully materialistic and uncaring of Zoro's feelings, if he only messaged him to let him know that they needed him back if they wanted to sign a label contract.  
  
The band was incredibly important, it was all of Sanji's life, but if talking about business could have jeopardized his chance at fixing things with Zoro… Well, that was a risk he was definitely not going to take. Sanji's hand moved to rest back in his lap, away from the phone as he had made up his mind. They probably didn't have to give Robin an answer that exact same night, so the only thing that he was going to focus on was deliver a great performance.  
  
"I'm sorry Zoro wasn't there…" Nami suddenly spoke up.  
  
An ice cold spike pierced through Sanji's heart at those words, roughly pulling him back to reality.  
  
"Don't be." Sanji said dry, his eyes setting on the blur of the world they were speeding past.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all want to kill me right now, lmao – I just wanted to remind you that you can follow me on my One Piece sideblog on tumblr at marimoyaro for updates on the story (even if I don't log onto tumblr as often as I used to) or just see me reblog loads of ZoSan crap, and rant about OP chapters. Until next time, love ya!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I wasn't planning on dropping this chapter for Christmas, but consider it as a gift from me to all of you! Even to those of you who don't celebrate it, haha!
> 
> I don't have very much to say this time, apart from thanking all of you for your constant and amazing support! Every review is cherished and I'm always going to try and reply to them all. You're all incredible!
> 
> Now on to the chapter! Enjoy!

Sanji's throat burned, he had spent the last ten minutes emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet of the changing room, while someone kept banging on the door to ask him if he was doing alright.  
  
"I'm fucking dying! Leave me alone!" Sanji shouted, not really sure about who had been trying to check on him for all that time, since he was too busy throwing up to recognize muffled voices.  
  
"Shit! You need anything?"  
  
Was that Ace's voice? It certainly was way too deep to belong to Luffy, and it most definitely wasn't Bartolomeo's.   
  
"You fucking off would make me feel great." Sanji groaned as he wiped off his mouth with some toilet paper.  
  
Well at least that stall was clean, he would have probably puked thrice as much if it was a nasty looking and smelling one.  
  
The banging and calling from the other side of the door stopped altogether, so it was safe for Sanji to assume that Ace had actually granted him his wish. At least he could do one thing right.  
  
He didn't need anyone's help, it wasn't a bug, wasn't intoxication, Sanji knew that at one point his stomach would have betrayed him like that, all the stress and anguish that had piled up within him was bound to be unloaded somehow. At least it had happened before the show and after soundcheck! Throwing up on stage was definitely not on his bucket list.  
  
Sanji straightened back up, brushing off his knees and flushing the toilet. He regretted not having brought along a toothbrush, but he was definitely going to spend several moments rinsing his mouth with water, and then chewing some gum before the show. He checked the time on his phone, not caring about the notifications from his social network accounts, and realized that he hadn't stolen too much time from his preparation.  
  
He unlocked the door and violently flinched back as he saw Ace standing right in front of him, arms firmly folded across his broad chest, half of his makeup done and stage clothes already on. His expression was severe, the intensity reminded Sanji both of Shanks and Luffy, but at the same time Sanji could read the concern in his glare.  
  
"What the fuck?" Sanji grunted.  
  
"You bolted off stage like a maniac! How could you expect no one to worry about you?" Ace started, spreading his arms.  
  
"Now you're worried about me?" a sarcastic snigger erupted from Sanji's throat. "Don't make me laugh." Sanji shook his head. He tried to push past Ace, but he grabbed him by the arm "Let go of me." Sanji deadpanned.  
  
"Sanji, I need us to be alright again." there was no hint of mocking or anything similar in Ace's voice, but Sanji laughed once again.  
  
"Just 'cause you made up with Zoro and you feel bad about me?" Sanji asked, tone dripping with irony.  
  
Ace hesitated for a moment, his jaw dropped slightly but no sound came out so he shut it again.   
  
"I saw you at the mall." Sanji explained with a shrug "Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get ready." The more the blond tried to yank his own arm away from Ace's fingers, the tighter he gripped at it. "I said let go!" Sanji growled lowly.  
  
"Look, I tried to tell you, but you never wanted to speak to me!" Ace insisted.  
  
"If you don't take your hand off me I'll knock you the fuck out, Ace." Sanji threatened, his tone low yet menacing.   
  
"Don't walk away, Sanji," Ace said right before letting go of Sanji's arm "please." he added, pleading with his eyes, too.  
  
Sanji didn't move, he stood still. He was still mad at Ace for spilling everything to Zoro without his consent. Sanji knew he couldn't avoid him forever, he was part of the band and Luffy and Zoro's brother – not to mention the fact that they used to be very close friends, before the shit storm.  
  
"You told him everything, when we could have avoided all of this. We could have already signed the damn contract, but no, you had to do it your own way without even asking!" Sanji bursted, still trying to keep it down as much as he could.  
  
"I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't confess, Sanji!" Ace promptly replied, placing both palms on his own chest "The truth is bound to come out at some point, it's as inevitable as death! Would you rather Zoro found out much later? The consequences could have been a lot worse."  
  
Sanji snorted "Worse than this shit?" he said as he gestured around the room "Worse than not being able to see the person I love the most on this earth for fucking ages? To have him hate my guts?"  
  
"Sanji," Ace let out a long, drawn out sigh, head hanging for a moment before he could look Sanji in the eye again "would you have realized that you're in love with him, if all this shit hadn't happened?"   
  
The anger dropped from Sanji's features, suddenly faded away from his whole body. His jaw dropped slightly, his eyes grew wider as his entire system froze.  
  
No. The answer was simple. He probably wouldn't have. He would have continued living the same life, probably would have slept with countless more guys until the weird feelings he had for Zoro would have slowly disappeared in the midst of his self destruction.   
  
He would have still had Zoro by his side, a Zoro that kept everything bottled up and would grow more and more tired of Sanji, to the point where whatever bound them together would probably pulverize and be swept away by the wind.  
  
"Th-that's not the point, we–" Sanji tried to speak, but it was like concrete had been poured down his throat.  
  
"We shouldn't have done it in the first place," Ace shrugged "but we did, and we need to deal with the consequences."  
  
A tear escaped Sanji's control, but he quickly wiped it off with the palm of his hand "Yeah, you got a boyfriend and your brother back. I'm left with a fistful of fucking dust and the constant feeling of putting an end to my fucking pointless existence."   
  
Ace's jaw tightened, then without thinking about it too much he took a step forward and held Sanji in his arms. Sanji froze up, his entire body stiffening, he was still trying to resist him, still trying to hold himself back together… But the reality was that he needed that more than he ever knew. He melted against Ace, his arms still hanging along his sides, but face burrowed on Ace's shoulder as he cried softly.  
  
"Don't even try thinking about killing yourself, you idiot." Ace whispered as he rubbed soothing circles on Sanji's back "We all love you, you're gonna be fine, I promise. I promise, Sanji."  
  
Sanji didn't say anything, he just stood there, motionless and completely overwhelmed by his emotions as Ace tried to comfort him. He was tired. So tired of fighting everyone, of keeping a distance, of staying angry and unforgiving. Being in Ace's arms was such an unexpected relief, especially in such a hard time. Quietly, Sanji returned the hug, in a silent way of giving up the fight and forgive Ace.  
  
One step at a time. Maybe things were going to truly, yet slowly get better.  
  
When they finally went back to the changing room, Luffy was grinning but didn't say anything. Sanji ignored it, but couldn't deny the fact that now that he and Ace were alright again he was feeling much better. It was another step in the right direction, and maybe Ace would have told Zoro about it… Put in a good word.  
  
There were no signs of Bartolomeo, it wasn't exactly something that would upset Sanji, all the contrary, but maybe the situation between the two was definitely getting way out of hand. Sanji knew he should have stopped lashing out on Bartolomeo for every single syllable he uttered, but it was awfully hard. Still, in that very moment, he couldn't help but appreciate the fact that he had already gotten ready and left the room, it was a lot less stressful that way.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
Getting ready completely absorbed Sanji's mind, he didn't have time to still grieve over Zoro not being there, he just thought about dressing up and baking his face. At one point he nearly brought his eyeliner all the way up to his ear, though, when the door of the changing room slammed open and someone shouted like a maniac:  
  
"Sorry I'm late! I lost my way twice!"   
  
"And I thought my brothers sucked." Ace commented with a head shake.  
  
Sanji turned around in his seat to see who had nearly given him a heart attack, and saw Sabo grinning at him like an idiot. He had arrived, too, but there was no sign of Zoro. Sanji let out a small, defeated sigh. He was pretty disenchanted by that point, it hurt but it couldn't really upset him more than he already was.  
  
"Man, you look amazing, Sanji! How are you?" Sabo cried out as he walked up to the singer in a few long strides.  
  
Sanji smiled. He would have wanted to be happier to see Sabo, but it was impossible.   
  
"Shut up," Sanji rolled his eyes and stood up to hug Sabo with just one hand, as he held his eyeliner brush in the other one "you're the one who looks fantastic. You must work out like crazy!" he commented.   
  
He wasn't being fake, he truly meant what he said. He was genuinely glad to see Sabo after two long years, but his tone and expression couldn't betray what he felt deeper inside of him.  
  
"It must run in the family." Sabo shrugged, his grin still wide across his face.  
  
"You gotta get ready too, right?" Luffy jumped up. He was already all dressed up and ready to go on stage, with his smudged eyeliner, Stratovarious shirt, ripped black jeans and New Rock boots.  
  
"Yes!" Sabo nodded as he turned to his youngest cousin. "If you still want me to." he added with a small tilt of the head.  
  
Sanji's eyes squeezed into a thin slit, oblivious as to what could Sabo possibly mean. Was he supposed to play an instrument with them or something? Sanji truly didn't remember him being able to play the violin or anything else. Did he perhaps play the drums?  
  
"I see you're…" Sabo's eyebrows drew together as he stared at Sanji "unconvinced?"   
  
"I just…" Sanji blinked a few times as his eyes wandered from Sabo to Luffy, and then to Ace, unable to comprehend what was going on.  
  
"Uh… In the group chat we all agreed that Sabo could do some pretty cool fire eating stunts while we play, remember?" Ace told Sanji, as if he was reminding him of something that they had talked about a ridiculous number of times.  
  
"What?!" Sanji cried out, his eyes shot wide but his eyebrows furrowed ever so deeply. "When?!" he added, his hand automatically going to pat over the pocket of his jeans to fish out his phone and check for himself.  
  
"Well… I think it was when Sanji wasn't really answering that much?" Luffy cut in with a quirked eyebrow.  
  
"Oh..." Ace and Sabo said simultaneously.  
  
Sanji's hand stopped. He couldn't find his phone, anyway. It was probably already stuffed inside his duffel bag, but he believed them nonetheless. He had been pretty distracted, it was true.  
  
"I like it when you guys take decisions without my actual input, thank you!" Sanji said in a quirky, sarcastic tone.  
  
Ace and Luffy exchanged a quiet glance, and a guilty one at that.  
  
"If it's problem, I won't–" Sabo immediately said, only to be cut off by Sanji and his raised hand.  
  
"No, Sabo. It's fine," Sanji shook his head as he looked at him "I have no problem with your participation. I've always thought that adding fire to a show would make everything cooler."  
  
A small grin quickly spread on Sabo's face, he gave a small nod while Sanji spoke "I promise you won't regret it." he winked.  
  
"We're truly sorry, Sanji." Luffy said, almost before Sabo could finish his own sentence.  
  
"We know it's your call to make important decisions." Ace echoed right after.   
  
Sanji turned back in his seat to face the mirror again "This wasn't anything too big," he said as he dipped the brush back into the small jar of gel eyeliner "so don't worry. But don't do it again."   
  
No one really answered, but an uncomfortable silence settled over the room as they finished getting ready. It wasn't about being bossy, or about being the only one who had a say in the band, but it was about respecting the leader of the Crows. The only leader left. Sanji still found it hard to believe that they could still do things without even the smallest of words coming from him.

Roughly twenty minutes of silence in, when Sanji was well done with his entire face of makeup, he stood up with a sigh and looked at the guys who were all completely done with their preparations and were just all fiddling with their phones.  
  
That wasn't the right atmosphere to go and kill it on stage, that was the exact atmosphere that surrounded Sanji 24/7 and he didn't want to inflict that on others. He couldn't let everyone feel low, they had to deliver a great performance for their fans and Sanji wouldn't have been the leader he claimed to be if he just ended up upsetting his band.  
  
"Guys," Sanji started, and suddenly all three guys were staring up at him "I'm truly sorry for lashing out like a fucking idiot." he shook his head, letting his eyelids drop shut in the process "You didn't do anything wrong, I just… Overreact. It's because–" Sanji hesitated. He didn't want to sound weak or melodramatic, he didn't have to tell them what was the precise reason for his moodiness. "I haven't been feeling a hundred percent myself, lately," he shrugged "I hope you'll forgive me."  
  
"Don't worry, man," Sabo was the first to sit back straight in his seat. The upper part of his face, a little further below the bridge of his nose and the underside of his chin and neck were completely painted black, while the rest of his face was painted white. He cracked a warm, sincere smile "I know what it's like to be constantly under pressure. Apology accepted."  
  
"Yes, apology accepted," echoed Luffy right after, a grin spread widely across his childish features. "We know what you're going through."   
  
"It's all good, Sanji," Ace smirked "but what you just did means a lot. Thank you."  
  
Sanji felt like a boulder had just been lifted off his chest. Constantly being snappy and rude had always been part of him, not because he really meant to be horrible, it had always been his defense mechanism. That mechanism, though, had been part of what had set in motion the several events that had led to the shitty situation he was in.   
  
He had slowly realized that people did care about him, they did love him for who he was and for how good of a singer he was. The crippling fears and doubts that had always entrapped him were starting to slide off, letting go of him. He needed to show those people that he cared for them, and loved them just as much.  
  
Not everyone was an enemy. Not everyone was trying to get something out of him. His Crows were his family, and they were still there for him, for better or worse.   
  
"Let me finish putting on my war gear, and we'll go blow this place up." Sanji smirked.  
  
"Hell yes!" Luffy roared, as Ace and Sabo hollered as an excited response.  
  
It had taken just a few words, a sincere apology, a genuine smile, and Sanji already felt warm inside, he was happier and calmer. He felt like his friends had his back, and that no matter what was going to happen out there, he wouldn't have been alone.  
  
"We'll be right outside, yeah?" Sabo said as he carried what looked like a heavy bag, probably filled with torches and everything he needed for his part in the show.  
  
"Sure, I'll be out in ten." Sanji said as he began to kick off his combat boots in order to shuffle out of his everyday clothes.  
  
He watched the three guys swan out of the room, leaving him to wear his attire for the night. He already had his white contacts in, so he pulled on a pair of mesh stockings that he hooked to a frilly garter belt. He wore a simple black miniskirt, and a solid black bralette that formed a pentagram on his chest. High platform on his feet, an o-ring choker around his throat, and after throwing on a duster entirely made out of black tulle, he was ready to conquer the world.  
  
Sanji looked at himself in the mirror and thoughts of making Zoro lose his mind made his lips curl in a small, melancholic smile. He looked fucking ravishing, and definitely like the Crow Prince that he was. He pushed the door of the changing room open and saw the guys from Freakshow speaking with the rest of the Crows.  
  
"Holy fuck, Blackleg." Kidd commented as soon as he spotted Sanji.  
  
"Well, shit." Law said right behind, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.  
  
Sanji cracked a grin. He definitely hadn't lost his appeal. He had all eyes on him, and it was giving him the biggest rush of adrenaline.  
  
"Hello boys." Sanji wriggled his fingers in greeting, without properly waving, and moved to stand between Sabo and Luffy.  
  
"You're a vision, holy shit." Sabo said as he eyed Sanji up and down.  
  
"I know." Sanji said casually as he adjusted the duster on his shoulders.  
  
Sabo laughed at that, and Sanji could see the way in which Usopp's cheeks flushed red and how Ace had suddenly tensed up. There was no escaping how gorgeous he was, and all those reactions were feeding his ego and confidence.  
  
"Where the hell did you get that bralette from? It's stunning!" Nami commented.  
  
"Oh God, please do tell because I need one." Vivi echoed right beside her.  
  
A small laugh left Sanji's lips as he slightly tipped his head back "Online, I'll text you the site." he winked.  
  
"You came!" Ace suddenly cried out, as he had his back turned on everyone.  
  
Sanji's heart stopped and a metallic taste settled on top of his tongue. He turned around to look into the same direction as Ace so quickly that he nearly lost his balance and toppled over.  
  
"I keep my promises." a disembodied, unfamiliar voice came from the penumbra, only to reveal a face that Sanji didn't really know.  
  
It wasn't Zoro.   
  
Ace threw an arm around the tall, bulky frame of his boyfriend to press a kiss to his lips.  
  
"Get a room!" Sabo, Franky and Luffy howled, making everyone else laugh.  
  
A sharp pain pierced through Sanji's chest, leaving him breathless as he watched the couple being happily reunited. He looked away, trying too keep his eyes from watering and messing up his makeup. He took that as his final cue to give up hope.  
  
"We shouldn't play _Spit It Out_." Sanji whispered, as he stepped closer to Nami.  
  
The redhead turned to look at him with furrowed eyebrows "Yes, we will."   
  
"There is no point." Sanji went on, keeping his voice down, while everyone was focused on Ace and Smoker.  
  
Nami took Sanji's hand and squeezed it "Yes, there still is. Even if just for you, you owe it to yourself."  
  
Sanji didn't say anything. Nami was probably right. _Shamandalie_ had helped him, too. _Spit It Out_ could have been just as therapeutic… Perhaps.  
  
"You're up in five, guys," Bonney suddenly shouted at them "we'll finish getting ready. Good luck."   
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows at the absence of Perona, but he figured she'd probably be in the front row for Murder Of Crows.   
  
All of a sudden and seemingly spawning out of thin air, Bartolomeo walked past Sanji, ready to get on stage. Sanji bit his lower lip, that was his chance to keep making things right – or better at least – and after sucking in a very deep breath, the singer called out for him.  
  
"W-what?" Bartolomeo asked, stopping in his tracks.  
  
"Do a good job, alright?" Sanji said, awkwardly.  
  
Bartolomeo stared at him for a few moments "Uh, sure."   
  
Sanji nodded without adding anything else and gestured to a bewildered Bartolomeo to just get on stage.   
  
That was as close as he could get to an apology. He needed to flush out all the negativity, even if he had a burning desire to murder Bartolomeo with the force of his kicks. He watched as Luffy went up the ladder right after Bartolomeo, but stopped on the highest step to turn around and gift Sanji with one of his biggest and brightest grins. Sanji couldn't help but return the smile, even if the nervousness of the moment had mixed with the bitterness of the realization that everyone had their special person there with them… And he was the only one on his own.  
  
Ace followed right after, he gave Sanji a supposedly encouraging pat on the shoulder and a warm smile that Sanji sort of ignored, without giving any reaction in return. He turned to look at Smoker standing a foot away from Vivi – it was clear that the two weren't familiar with each other, and it somehow made Sanji feel slightly better.  
  
A pair of arms came out of the blue to wrap around Sanji's neck, while he wasn't paying attention, and only when a pair of breasts were pressing against his own chest, and his face was blinded by a few orange strands of hair, he did realize that Nami was hugging him.  
  
"Be great, Sanji," Nami whispered in his ear, making his face heat up all of a sudden "I expect nothing less. I'm right behind you and I got your back, alright?"  
  
"Y-yes…" Sanji stuttered out, awkwardly.  
  
Nami pulled back with a grin and proceeded to climb up on the unlit stage, silently taking position behind her synth.  
  
A mantle of smoke slowly rose from the floor of the stage, hazing and concealing the band members that were already on their marks, as dim blue lights were switched on. The excitement of the crowd was palpable and audible, and that infused Sanji with that extra dose of courage and confidence that he was looking for.  
  
"Sanji!"   
  
The singer jumped in surprise, and turned to find Sabo standing beside him, a big smile spread across his painted face.  
  
"Go get 'em, tiger!" Sabo continued with a wink "I'll be with you for the second song."  
  
Sanji nodded, a weak smile accompanying his movement as he did. Sabo had really scared him as he was lost in thought, but at the same time he had appreciated the extra encouragement.  
  
"See you in a bit." Sanji managed to say before finally making his way up the ladder, while the crowd chanted the band's name as they rhythmically clapped their hands.  
  
His courage pervaded him altogether, at last, providing all the strength he needed to strut up the stage as the audience boomed in excitement and the lights turned white and clear. Sanji grabbed the mic stand and rose a hand to the ceiling.  
  
"The Crows are coming to get you, Punk Hazard!" Sanji shouted into the microphone, unleashing the pure euphoria of their fans as the music began to play and Sanji started to immediately sway and dance to the beat.

Sanji was determined to deliver an amazing performance, no more halfhearted singing, no more holding back of any kind. His voice was like an explosion of talent and emotions, the music powerful and crushing. The audience was going absolutely ballistic as they jumped and screamed the lyrics at the top of their lungs.  
  
That was what performing on a stage was, roughly a couple hours of raw emotions, the beauty of a message shared with the crowd, an unconditional love between the band and the fans. A concert is sweat, tears, at times bruises and blood, a concert is a burning throat, ringing ears and lost voice, for a million different beautiful reasons. Because you're still alive, because you want to stand up for something, because music can shake your very core and make you feel things that nothing else can.   
  
Every person in the room had their own different story, their very own reason for either being upon the stage or for bouncing in front of it, yet everyone felt like one big family for a few hours. A place where you could feel like you finally belong somewhere, that there is actually a place in the world for every outcast, every broken heart, every lonely soul. A place where all hearts beat in unison, to the incredible rhythm of their favorite song, to the deepest emotion buried inside of each and every one of them.  
  
The first song always sweeps you away, it threatens your heart to rip out of your chest, it makes your ribcage vibrate along with the beat of the drums. The first song always feels like the shortest one, exactly like the very last song, and just like always, _The Crows Are Coming_ ended too quickly, but made everyone shout in pure joy.  
  
"Good evening guys, how is everyone doing?" Sanji asked into the microphone, and everyone screamed back at him that they were doing great. Sanji's fruity laugh resonated through the venue "So am I, because I'm here with all of you."  
  
More screaming, or rather shrieking. A couple of _'I love yous'_ came from the middle of the first two rows, where usually Sanji's fanclub stood immovable.  
  
"I love you, too." Sanji purred into the microphone, and more shrieking pierced through the air.  
  
"Isn't it a little early to kill fans off, Sanji?" Ace asked from his side.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you're right." Sanji shrugged.  
  
All the way in the back of the venue, a deep, low snigger went unheard by the rest of the people. The man was standing a few feet away from the rest of the crowd, a big hood covered the greatest part of his face. A much tinier boy stood besides him, big brown eyes shone in the darkness as he excitedly bounced on his heels, a huge grin plastered on his face as he stared at the stage, spellbound.  
  
"Thank you so much for taking me here!" the boy cried out, looking adoringly at the man standing beside him.  
  
"It was such a shame that you'd never seen the Crows live." the man smirked down at the boy.  
  
"I know, I know! But I never thought I'd come see them with you!" the boy went on gushing, before he turned to look at the stage again.  
  
"You can get closer if you wanna, don't mind me."   
  
The boy looked back at the man, a hint of worry suddenly painting his delicate lineaments "Doesn't it hurt you to be here?"  
  
The man shrugged, his features still perfectly hidden by the hood and the lack of illumination "Not really," he lifted his eyes back on the stage "it could have been much worse."  
  
The boy nodded "Alright, I'll be back later!" he smiled and took off to try and find a way to squeeze through the crowd and get closer to the stage.  
  
The man tried to watch the boy's movements into the crowd until he completely lost sight of him, then went back to focus on the stage.  
  
"We have a guest with us, today, a very dear friend and part of our Crow family," Sanji explained "so give your warmest welcome to Sabo and his incredible fire eating skills, that will accompany our show!"  
  
Sabo entered the stage shirtless, breathing fire and making everyone scream in excitement.  
  
"Hopefully he won't set fire to the entire band," Ace commented "and venue." everyone laughed.  
  
Sabo walked up to Ace's microphone only to make his answer audible to the entire audience "I'll do my best."  
  
"Alright, alright… It's time for more music, boys, so behave." Sanji broke up the little banter "I think it's also time for a little story."   
  
"It's _Storytime_." the man at the back of the venue whispered to himself, at the exact same time in which Sanji shouted it out. A lopsided smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.  
  
The music went on relentless and powerful, shrouded in flames. It was one of the most beautiful and spectacular performances that Murder Of Crows had ever delivered. The audience was ecstatic as they bounced, headbanged and sang their hearts out to the first four songs of the setlist. The band was impeccable, even Bartolomeo sounded better than usual, the success they had all collected up until that point was boosting everyone's confidence.  
  
Sanji was truly feeling the atmosphere, he was deep into his character, lost and enraptured by the music. His throat burned slightly for the excess of nicotine from early that evening, yet it wasn't effecting his voice too badly, it was still warm and rich, hitting high notes the way it was supposed to.   
  
And so it kept going, as minutes spilled over, one song left place to the other. There were less covers this time, the band had opted to play the majority of their original creations. Unusual, but it was most definitely time for it to happen, especially if they were aiming to sing that damn contract, at one point. They were halfway through _Blood On The Snow_ when a feeling of uneasiness settled over Sanji like a suffocating blanket.  
  
There was no shaking it off, the second to last song was going to be _Spit It Out_ and Sanji was dreading that moment like a public execution. Switching one song with another random cover wouldn't have messed up the setlist or the show in the slightest, after all. It could have been done, they were going to get off the stage in any case, so he could just hurriedly inform everyone of the change and then go back to the stage like nothing had happened. No one would have really known.  
  
Arguing with himself while trying not to mess up or forget song lyrics was one awful and hard job, so he didn't really have much time to wrack his brains over it, but the rest of his body reacted to it all the same. Sanji stopped moving as much as he usually did, he became more static and less emphatic. The theatrical song was definitely suffering from it, because Brook's violin wasn't there either, but Sabo's fire eating fortunately caught more attention than the slight faults in Sanji's performance.  
  
The song ended, the music stopped and Sanji's head became louder than the uproar of the audience. Usopp and Franky killed the lights and any background sound, cueing the band to quickly make their way down the stage. Sanji approached Nami right away, they still hadn't even climbed down the ladder when he bumped his shoulder against hers.  
  
"I can't do it, let's play something else." Sanji said quickly and bluntly, his tone low enough to only let Nami hear.  
  
The young woman furrowed her eyebrows and shot him a glare in the penumbra "Don't give me this crap, Sanji. We talked about this, already."   
  
Sanji shrugged "I know, but I just _really_ can't do it. He's not even here, there's no damn point!"  
  
Nami pushed Sanji aside and away from the ladder as soon as they touched the backstage floor "You owe this to yourself, Sanji. You sang Shamandalie, already," she repeated for the umpteenth time as she searched for Sanji's vacant eyes "you are going to kill it out there, people absolutely love it when you pour your heart out!"  
  
Sanji's eyes kept wandering away from Nami's severe gaze. She was right and he knew it, but the need to stay in his comfort zone was stronger than any kind of reason.  
  
"Look at me, Sanji," Nami called him out, firmly "look at me, because I know how strong you really are. You can do this."  
  
Sanji stared at her reluctantly, jaw tightened, teeth grinding together. He truly didn't know why Nami would insist the way she was, singing to a crowd while Zoro wasn't around wouldn't have done him any good. Why would he have to do that for himself? He knew perfectly what he was going through, he certainly didn't need a reminder.  
  
"There's no fucking point, doing it for me is useless. I know how I feel way too precisely." Sanji snarled through gritted teeth.  
  
"Oh God," Nami groaned, rolling her eyes "when you sang _Shamandalie_ you made people cry, not because you're their favorite singer, but because your emotions poured right into their hearts. How often has this happened?" she asked, spreading her arms.  
  
Sanji lowered his eyes. She was right. He couldn't deny that. Something magical had happened the night he had sung _Shamandalie_. He had created the rawest and most intimate connection with his fans and he hadn't really realized it. He had just seen himself as the idiot who had cried in front of an audience, but he had made everyone else cry, too. Sanji still couldn't give himself the credits he truly deserved, because he kept feeling inadequate… Even when everyone told him the contrary.  
  
The rest of the band was starting to be worried by the fact that both Sanji and Nami were still there instead of being back on stage.  
  
"Uh… Guys?" Ace called out in a questioning tone.  
  
Sanji shot him a glare, and Nami lifted her hand without breaking eye contact with Sanji.  
  
"Not now Ace, we gotta be quick." Nami answered.  
  
"Yeah… That's what I was gonna suggest." Ace muttered to himself.  
  
"Alright…" Sanji murmured, eyes still not crossing with Nami's.  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you." Nami said as she crossed her arms on her chest.  
  
Christ, why did she have to be like that?  
  
"Alright, let's do it." Sanji repeated, this time slightly louder and adding more words to the first one.  
  
"Then let's fucking make people bawl their eyes out." Nami grinned.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes and shook his head, the hint of a smile curling his lips as she patted his arm and quickly went up the ladder. He hesitated once again, his mind kept trying to find excuses and ways to wriggle free of the situation, when in the end the only thing to do was go up that goddamned stage and sing that god forsaken song.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
The man in the back was still watching in the darkness, concealing himself as much as he could. His right foot tapping on the floor in sync with the music, along with the almost imperceptible way in which his head was rhythmically nodding. He was tense though, as if anticipating something that could shake him from the inside, yet he wasn't running away, he was standing still on the spot, eyes glued to the stage. No one could have ever spotted him from a distance, especially not during the performance. Everyone was too enthralled in the hype of the moment.  
  
The man furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to make out something, anything, from the back of the room, but only when a blue light began to shine he could see Sanji behind his mic stand and Nami by her keyboards. It was just the two of them, looking down as a slightly familiar tune began playing as an introduction to their last song of the show. Or at least, given the time, it was safe to assume it was either the last or second to last one.  
  
The realization settled on him slowly, yet suddenly, like raindrops starting to unexpectedly soak the hood that was hiding his green mohawk and concealing his features. His heart began to hammer so fast and hard in his chest that he could hear it beat into his ears, like strikes on a tom. Sanji was holding onto the microphone, head lowered as he ever so gently nodded his head to Nami's keyboards, and when his voice began resonating through the venue, a chill jolted down Zoro's spine.  
  
His eyes widened. He couldn't believe his ears, couldn't believe his eyes. If he thought that Sanji singing _Shamandalie_ was the deepest he could go, he truly didn't know how much things had changed. How much Sanji had evolved, or at least reverted back to the person he used to be. The person that had been scraped off by the roughness of life, a long while ago.  
  
 _"And if you're hurting  
I will replace the noise with silence instead  
Flushing out your head  
  
If you like it violent  
We can play rough and tumble  
Fall into bed  
And I won't breathe so you can recover"_  
  
Zoro's eyes fell shut for a moment as the lyrics sunk inside of him. They were in every pore of his skin, in every cell, in every bone. It was hard to believe that those words didn't come directly from Sanji's mind, because knowing him as well as Zoro did, he could have seriously thought they were all his. Then again, Zoro perfectly knew how big of a connection Sanji felt with Chris Corner, so it wouldn't have really been absurd to think that those could have been Sanji's words.   
  
He couldn't help the images in his head as Sanji's warm voice sung about tumbling into a bed. Zoro recalled those times in which their bodies had been pressed flush together, the way in which their lips locked together like they belonged against each other. The taste of Sanji's tongue, the bitterness of the tobacco mixed with the excessive sweetness of strawberry vodka. Sanji's arms around his neck, his own fingers buried into Sanji's golden, silky hair.  
  
A shiver ran down Zoro's spine. Time didn't stop, the music was going on.  
  
 _"When you're in pieces  
Just follow the echo of my voice  
It's okay  
Tune into that frequency"_  
  
And Zoro did. Letting Sanji's voice enrapture him completely, and all the memories he had recalled a few moments before were back full force. Zoro could nearly feel Sanji's breath against his skin, his hands on his neck, fingernails scraping at the tender flesh.   
_  
"Don't fight your reflex  
Embrace the instinct  
You can feel your way  
Through the burden we face in the end"_  
  
He had held back oh so many times, not just lately, but in the past, too. There had been so many occasions in which Zoro could have just yanked that stupid blond against him to kiss the life out of him, but he never could. He still couldn't tell if all those missed opportunities had been something to regret. Zoro firmly believed that Sanji wouldn't have been ready to have all of his best friend's feeling dumped on him. Sanji had built himself in a way that rendered him allergic to everything even remotely romantic, Zoro knew that back in the day Sanji would have ran like the devil, miles away from him.  
  
 _"Cause it breaks my heart  
That we live this way  
I know people need love  
Them people never play the game  
And we talk the talk  
We communicate  
Them people need love  
Those people never play the game"_  
  
Zoro couldn't see Sanji's expression from all the way to the back, but he could hear the pain lacing his voice, dripping from the high notes he held. It was the most heartbreaking thing of all… That they lived that way. Forced to be apart for all the cowardice, the misunderstandings, the spite, and all the mistakes that had piled up through time. All the things left unsaid, when all they had ever needed was love, indeed.   
  
It wasn't easy. Nothing had ever been between them. Such peculiar, strong personalities would clash all the time, especially when they were meant to spend a large amount of time together. But Zoro enjoyed even the fights, until the moment in which a line was crossed. Those moments in which something excessively cruel would slip Sanji's control, and Zoro had to take a break from him.  
  
Zoro could only hope that coming clean, forgiving and settling all of that mess would make things easier.  
  
 _"Pleasure for pleasure  
It eases consequence  
And love for a fall  
But I know you love to take a risk  
  
The past is weakness  
Don't beg the question when the answer is war  
There are moments when I'm overcome"_  
  
Zoro tipped his head back, there were tears pricking and burning at the corners of his eyes that he refused to spill. Sanji was crying, it was imperceptible, but not to Zoro's knowing ears. He had heard Sanji cry in so many different ways and so many times, that he could have known even if he were to lose ninety percent of his hearing.  
  
Sanji was crying and no matter how hard he tried to hold it back, now Zoro was crying too, quietly and without letting anyone even know of his presence. Wasn't it true that Zoro shouldn't have pushed for answers, when those answers did in fact escalate into a full blown war? Yet living a lie, in complete denial would have caused things to rupture to the point they would have been too damaged to fix.  
  
Order comes out of chaos, after all. Maybe to make things actually work between the two of them they had to completely break before. A fracture, or a wound that took long enough to heal for Zoro and Sanji to grow stronger and wiser, to change some of their perspective. At least that was what had happened to Zoro, and to some degree Zoro was sure that it had happened to Sanji as well.  
  
 _"Cause it breaks my heart  
That we live this way  
I know people need love  
Cause them people never play the game  
And we talk the talk  
We communicate  
Them people need love  
Those people never play the game  
  
And it breaks my heart  
And it breaks my heart  
People need love"_  
  
The song ended and Sanji's voice faded into the darkness of the venue, beautiful and filled with agony. It was something so genuine that Zoro's skin rose into goose flesh with the uncontrollable flow of emotions.  
  
A grin tugged at the corners of his lips, he watched as Sanji brought both hands to his face, overwhelmed by the roaring and the explosive applause that he was met with at the end of the song. He saw him shake his head and take a deep bow before clapping his hands to his public.  
  
Zoro didn't know that he could ever in his life feel his heart almost overflow with love and pride, but that was the exact way to convey how he felt in that moment. He was so incredibly proud of Sanji, he didn't think he could ever put it into words.  
  
He rubbed a fist against both his eyes, drying them off as he listened to Nami claiming that she was incredibly sorry but that was going to be the last song for the night. Zoro knew that Sanji was probably too worn out by the emotional performance he had just given, so it would have been only fair to end the show there.  
  
The rest of the band swarmed back on stage as they waved, greeted by the screaming of the crowd. They all hugged Sanji, who was standing at the center of the stage, even Bartolomeo, then proceeded to form a line and bow to the public, blowing kisses and throwing extra guitar and bass picks to the sea of raised, demanding hands.  
  
Zoro's hands were hurting from how hard and for how long he had been clapping, his upper teeth sinking into his lower lip. Everyone had been great, everyone had been a beast on stage, even Barto had given a great performance and he was feeling a little jealous. He missed hanging out with the band, missed being scolded by Nami during practice, the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his veins while he stepped on a stage. Everything good in his life was missing, and it was like having an amputated limb that he just couldn't get used to not having.  
  
Zoro felt a tap on his arm and when he looked down with a scowl, he was met by Chopper's gigantic grin. How was the boy so ridiculously short he didn't know, but Zoro found it somewhat endearing, just like everything else about him. Yes, even if he could come across as a little weird, at first.  
  
"I'm so happy! This was so amazing, Zoro!" the boy exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down as he faced the stage once again.  
  
"I'm glad you liked it." Zoro spoke directly into Chopper's ear, trying to be heard from over the shouting and the loud music.   
  
Chopper turned around to reply into Zoro's ear as well "I hope next time you'll be on stage with them."  
  
A smirk tugged at the corner of Zoro's lips as he gave a curt nod "I'd love to, if they'll have me."  
  
Chopper let out a loud yelp, that still couldn't surpass the noise of the venue, and Zoro laughed at his reaction.  
  
"I gotta go for a while, now. Enjoy Freakshow, alright?" Zoro cocked an eyebrow.  
  
Chopper nodded vigorously "Yes, yes! I'll get myself a coke and check out the merchandise!"  
  
"Alright! I'll introduce you to the guys later, yeah?" Zoro asked, still practically shouting into Chopper's ears. He hated shouting over music and loud crowds, but it was his only way to be heard.  
  
Chopper let out a series of incoherent shrieks of both joy and surprise that were once again drown by the racket. Even if he couldn't hear them properly, Zoro still laughed at the comical reaction.  
  
"Don't die, I'll see you in a bit." Zoro winked at him, then made his way to the exit of the venue in a hurry.  
  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  
"I'm sorry we couldn't do one last song, but–" Sanji shook his head as he quickly climbed down the stage ladder. He massaged his tense neck, pressing his fingers into the knotted muscles, he was going to need one hell of a scalding shower after the show.  
  
"Shut up, it's alright! We know you're drained after _Spit It Out_." Nami shook her head and rolled her eyes, then started to try and fix the smudges below Sanji's eyes with her fingers.  
  
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows slightly at Nami's attention, but smirked a moment later. She wasn't exactly the mother hen type, but he figured that she had probably started thinking of him as a son or something. He had whined and vented to her that much.  
  
"Your voice is fuckin' incredible, Sanji. These goosebumps won't leave my skin!" Sabo cried as he shoved his arm almost into Sanji's face, so that he could see the tiny bumps on his flesh.  
  
"Oh my God," Sanji pursed his lips, wanting to just cover his face with both hands but having Nami still touching up his face. He needed to invest in waterproof makeup.  
  
"Sanji, I'm so proud of you!" Luffy shouted as he jumped from the ladder to Sanji's back, almost making him tumble over Nami.  
  
"What the fuck, Luffy?!" Nami barked, then huffed as she stepped away from Sanji.   
  
Vivi was chuckling at the whole scene right before stepping into the picture with a towel and a bottle of sparkling water for her girlfriend, who sighed out a thank you and pecked at her lips.  
  
"Shit!" Sanji yelped once Luffy landed on him. "You're nuts!" Sanji shook his head as he laughed.  
  
Luffy always needed to take everything to the next level of crazy, but Sanji loved him exactly for this aspect of his. He felt incredibly grateful that things were back to being okay with him, Sanji couldn't have bore with Luffy's looks of disappointment any longer.   
  
"Seriously Sanji," Ace chimed in, making Sanji gasp softly "you were amazing." he smirked, arching an eyebrow.  
  
Sanji nearly melted to the floor, not because of how gorgeous Ace obviously looked, but because of how much he had missed that kind of interaction. He had been so angry at Ace, for all that time, that he hadn't realized how much he had missed his friend.   
  
Sanji seriously felt like he was going to explode from all the gratitude that was piling up inside of him, filling him to the brink. There was only one thing that could have made it perfect, but it was too late to obtain it now. He could definitely settle for what he had at the moment, it made his heart swell and his chest felt so light.  
  
"Thank you, all of you." Sanji nodded in genuine gratitude, then turned his head enough to catch a glimpse of Luffy still riding his back "Please Luffy, get down."  
  
"Oh! Right!" Luffy sniggered as he got off Sanji's back. "Barto, let's go help Usopp and Franky with all the stuff we left on stage!"  
  
"Sure! I'm coming!" Bartolomeo said as he promptly moved to follow Luffy, but stopped in front of Sanji. He looked uneasy, chewing his lower lip as if he wanted to say something but was too scared of opening his mouth.  
  
Sanji couldn't really blame such behavior, since he was always ready to chew him up and spit it out at any given moment.  
  
"Hm?" Sanji arched an eyebrow as he watched Bartolomeo turn the deepest shade of red.  
  
"You sing like a god. I actually cried listening to you." Bartolomeo admitted with a nod, then let out a nervous chuckle and ran after Luffy.  
  
Sanji was left stunned, rooted to the spot. He didn't even have the strength to turn around and watch as Bartolomeo ran back on the stage. He wasn't expecting that from Bartolomeo, especially not after how awful he had always treated him, but it had hit him harder than any other compliment. After all... wasn't Bartolomeo one of their biggest fans?  
  
"I need a smoke." Sanji announced as he quickly disappeared into the locker room to pick up his faux fur coat and his pack of smokes with very shaky hands.

 

 

 

* * * 

 

 

  
  
The emotions he had felt on that stage had left him utterly powerless, and the compliments received from his friends had been the coup de grace for his poor little black heart. Sanji made his way to the back door of the venue to light up his cigarette and smoke in peace, while his brain couldn't shut up about his performance.  
  
If _Shamandalie_ was the story of Sanji and Zoro as kids, the best friends who had developed feelings that went past friendship, _Spit It Out_ was an actual declaration of love. It was the deepest part of Sanji's heart and soul coming out and laying at the feet of the man he loved more than anything and anyone else in the world. It was everything Sanji would have been willing to do for Zoro, it was Sanji stripping from his armor and standing naked with a gush on his chest and his bleeding and beating heart in his hands. And he had allowed everyone to see it.  
  
Nami had been right all along, as usual. Singing _Spit It Out_ was something he truly owed to himself. It felt like the natural step forward, after exposing himself and his shame in front of everyone with _Shamandalie,_ it had been only fair to wear his heart upon his sleeve with _Spit It Out._ The audience had felt it once again, this time probably even more intensely, because it wasn't just sadness that spilled from Sanji's lungs, it was the raw love he felt for Zoro, and there is nothing quite as powerful. Or so they say.  
  
That was why Sanji felt so immeasurably exhausted, and the nicotine entering his lungs felt like a blessing to his agitated heart. He leaned back against the wall, right foot pressed against the dirty bricks as he tipped his head back and exhaled melancholic coils of smoke into the infinity of the black night sky.   
  
He still wished with all of himself that Zoro would have been there to listen to him – he could see the Marimo's stupid face every time he closed his eyes, anyway. He had sang his heart out as if Zoro was really there to listen to his declaration, to know how much he truly loved him, and it killed him that he hadn't been there to witness it. Maybe it would have made things better, maybe it couldn't have patched up their broken hearts or fixed the cracks in their relationship, but at least Zoro would have known how Sanji felt.  
  
"I thought you didn't sing sappy love songs."  
  
What the fuck was that? Auditory hallucinations?   
  
Sanji was petrified. His eyes grew impossibly wide as he still stared ahead of him, his lungs ceased to function and his heart stopped pumping for an interminable handful of moments. All the blood in his limbs felt completely drained and a thin layer of sweat began to cover his neck and brow.   
  
It couldn't have really been him, it was ridiculous. It was simply impossible. Sanji was clearly going insane.   
  
He let his foot stomp back onto the concrete, and his fingers let the cigarette slip from his loose grip. Sanji turned slowly to his right, from where the gravelly disembodied voice had come from… And there he was. Standing in the dim yellow glow of a street lamp, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, the green mohawk sat disheveled on top of his stupid head like an unkempt bush.  
  
Sanji shook his head slowly, way too convinced that he was clearly hallucinating. He had definitely passed out and was now stuck in the silliest of dreams. It couldn't be reality, Sanji knew that Zoro hadn't come, he had come to terms with it and reluctantly accepted it no matter the pain it caused. Zoro couldn't just be standing there like nothing had happened, like Sanji's heart and stomach hadn't been turned into mush by anxiety and anguish.  
  
The singer was so incredulous that when he started breathing again, his chest and lungs hurt with the pressure of his state of shock. Sanji thought he was going to die for a moment, or rather, he was growing more and more sure that in fact he had already died, and his personal limbo was being stuck in a reality where Zoro would stand right before his eyes but he could never reach him.  
  
Sanji had no idea how to react, shock had totally hazed his mind. His heart rate was increasing by the second, his breathing was ragged, irregular and harsh. There was a tingling in his fingers that should have alarmed him, but his legs were starting to feel so sore that he nearly collapsed on his haunches.  
  
"What the fuck?!" Sanji managed to shriek out, tears starting to flow uncontrollably from his eyes. He had to clutch at his chest, sinking his own nails so deep into the fake fur that he thought he could just tear it up to claw his heart out.  
  
Was it a panic attack? Maybe. A stroke? That was a possibility, but Sanji didn't have the brain functions to make a self diagnosis and try to somehow avoid whatever was happening to him.  
  
He was overwhelmed by his emotions, he was shocked, panicked and angry, all at the same time, and his body was responding to such wave of clashing feelings by self destroying. Or at least that was what Sanji thought.  
  
"I didn't say I wouldn't come, did I? I said I had to think about it." Zoro said with a shrug.  
  
Sanji gasped, or rather let out a strangled moan. Zoro had just answered him, he couldn't possibly be a vision, nor a dream, everything Sanji was going through felt way too real. He didn't like the calm and cockiness that was radiating from Zoro, it was very like him, but in that moment Sanji would have liked more compassion, or at least a much less detached attitude.  
  
"You're a fucking asshole! I'm going to fucking rip your head off!" Sanji barked out at the top of his lungs, feeling his throat burn. "I can't believe you–" a sob broke Sanji's voice completely, and he couldn't keep on speaking any longer. He could only cry, cry from the weird mixture of anger and relief.   
  
Zoro had witness the entire performance of _Spit It Out_ , he had witnessed everything that had happened on stage. He had seen Sanji spill out his feelings in front of everyone, just like Sanji had fantasized. It was hard to believe, but it was so very true.  
  
"You wish you could." Zoro teased, his grin turning even more mischievous.  
  
"Don't you fucking test me, you shitty moss headed bastard!" Sanji kept shouting, his voice turning hoarse with effort.   
  
"Never in my life I thought I could be so happy to hear you insult me." Zoro huffed with laughter as he shook his head.  
  
"Oh, fuck off!" Sanji cried out, shaking his head as well.  
  
"Come here, you fucker." Zoro slipped his hands out of his pockets and spread out his arms, inviting Sanji to run right into them.  
  
That was all it took for Sanji to launch himself at Zoro and jump on him, while the other man was quick enough to catch him in his arms and hold him tight above the ground. Sanji wrapped his legs around Zoro's waist and took his green head between his hands, as he felt Zoro's arms firmly looped around him to keep him in place. He stared into Zoro's dark eyes and saw that all the cockiness was gone and the warmest light was shining just for Sanji.  
  
"Will you try to snap my neck?" Zoro asked, a sharp eyebrow shooting upwards.  
  
"I very well could," Sanji nodded. He still couldn't believe he was feeling Zoro's skin underneath his palms and Zoro's arms around his waist "but I'll spare you, just this once."  
  
Zoro's lips stretched into a smile as he bit his bottom lip "You sappy little shit, I can't believe you sang _Spit It Out_ for me."  
  
Sanji's eyes widened and he let go of Zoro's face to punch him in the shoulder, blushing violently "Fuck you! It's all your fault if I turned into a mushy piece of shit!" he sort of mumbled the latter part of his answer.   
  
It was still somewhat embarrassing to admit he was indeed in love with the idiot algae he was holding onto. Not to mention how infuriatingly gorgeous he looked as he stared up at him like he was the most amazing starry sky.  
  
"Shut up." Zoro sniggered as one of his hands moved up to sink into Sanji's damp golden hair, pulling him in to seal their lips together.  
  
Sanji whimpered against Zoro's lips, he had missed that feeling so much that he wanted to start crying all over again. His hands slid back up to cup Zoro's cheeks, gently but firmly, as if he was afraid he could vanish the moment he opened his eyes again. Sanji melted into the kiss, parting his lips just enough to welcome Zoro's tongue inside his mouth.  
  
They kissed desperately and breathless for what seemed like an eternity, gripping one onto the other for dear life, trying to pull one another as close as possible. The world that was surrounding them didn't exist anymore, time was meaningless, everything else was futile as they stood against the darkness together for the first time in what felt like forever.  
  
Eventually Sanji reluctantly pulled back with a pained groan, in need of air. Black lipstick was smudged all over his chin and right below his nose as he panted and laughed at the makeup he had transferred to Zoro's face.  
  
"What?" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, but wasn't able to stop smiling "The fuck are you laughing at?" he insisted.  
  
Sanji shook his head "You've got all the lipstick I put on tonight, all over your face!" he laughed, crystalline and carefree for the first time in ages. He felt inebriated with bliss.  
  
"Well, that's because you need a kissproof lipstick. It's all over your face, too." Zoro rolled his eyes, then waited for Sanji to be done pissing himself laughing.  
  
The blond burrowed his face into the crook of Zoro's neck, inhaling his scent and instantly feeling like he had found his way back home after a long, perilous journey. Now that he was in Zoro's arms he couldn't help but wondering how he had survived without him up until that moment.  
  
"You're really here?" Sanji asked, his voice brittle against Zoro's skin.  
  
"I really am." Zoro nodded, carding his fingers through Sanji's hair.  
  
"You're not gonna disappear again, are you?" Sanji went on, a shiver ran down his spine as he felt Zoro's touch.  
  
"I promise I won't, I'm here to stay." Zoro reassured him in a low, soothing voice.  
  
Sanji reared back to look into Zoro's eyes, and in that very moment he felt like all the wounds in his heart were suddenly healing up, and a comfortable warmth settled into his chest.  
  
"You forgive me?" Sanji asked. He had assumed he had been forgiven already, but he needed to make sure.  
  
Zoro cracked his trademark crooked smirk, he probably found Sanji's question amusing "I do."  
  
"I'm sorry I was an asshole." Sanji went on despite the answer. He was probably going to need an irrational and uncountable amount of reassuring.   
  
"I know," Zoro nodded "you really are."  
  
"Hey! Don't be a shit, now!" Sanji furrowed his eyebrows. It was only alright if he said that to himself.  
  
Zoro let out another laugh as he threw his head back, and it was quickly becoming Sanji's favorite sound and sight. He could barely believe how cheesy he was feeling, just a while ago he would have made himself gag.  
  
"C'mon let me down, I feel like an idiot!" Sanji protested, just to feel less cheesy. He could feel his cheeks burn no matter how cold it was out there.  
  
Zoro obliged without a word, putting him back down on his feet. Sanji dried the tears that were still resting on his cheeks, he didn't even want to know how gross he probably looked.  
  
"Hey, Cook." Zoro called him out.  
  
"Huh?" Sanji raised his eyebrows as he kept trying to blindly fix whatever makeup was left on his face.  
  
"I love you." Zoro said, making it sound like the most natural and obvious thing in the world.  
  
Sanji felt a tug to his heart, and tears started pooling all over again at the corner of his eyes, as if a dam had been opened.  
  
"Fuck, I just finished crying!" Sanji whined as he looked up at the sky for a moment, in the idle attempt to suck his tears back. His heart was hammering into his chest once again. He looked back at the smug looking moss-head in front of him and sucked in a deep breath. It was finally time "I love too. A stupid amount." he admitted, at last.  
  
"Shit…" Zoro breathed out, instantly dropping his head.   
  
Was he… Crying?   
  
"Zoro?" Sanji arched an eyebrow as he gently grabbed Zoro's chin to raise his head again, and when Zoro finally did look back up at him, Sanji could see his teary eyes just for a moment because he was kissing him all over again.

Sanji melted into the touch of Zoro's hands cupping his cheeks all over again, the kiss was deep and rough with all the need to be together, feel together. There wasn't hunger for something more, only the joy of being reunited after everything they had been through. The sheer happiness of being into each other's arms.  
  
Sanji gripped at Zoro's shoulders, holding onto them for dear life until he brought one of his hands up to card through Zoro's hair. He didn't know if he needed to breathe anymore, he felt like kissing Zoro would have been the only way to stay alive in that moment. So they kept kissing and kissing. Salt and nicotine, lipstick and the little blood that spilled from a chapped, ripped lip. The sound of ragged breaths and soft moans. Sanji couldn't recall a more perfect moment in his entire life.  
  
"F-fuck…" Zoro growled out as he pulled back, gasping for air. He rested his forehead against Sanji's, his eyes fell shut as he tried to even out his breathing.  
  
Sanji licked his lower lip, tasting the blood coming out of the little cut that Zoro's teeth opened. "I thought you could hold your breath for much longer." Sanji panted out teasingly, a small smirk pulling at his lips as his eyelids dropped shut too.  
  
He felt content, fulfilled. He knew his once pretty makeup had probably smeared into corpse paint, but couldn't care less. He focused on Zoro's breath against his own lips and on the way his hands rested with a soft grip on his hips. Exactly where they belonged.

Zoro huffed and pulled back only to softly headbutt Sanji "Shut the fuck up."  
  
"Ow!" Sanji moaned softly, his eyebrows knitted together "You fucking idiot."   
  
Zoro sniggered softly, a shit-eating grin slowly spread on his lips, making Sanji frown even more.  
  
"The hell are you grinning at?" Sanji inquired, a hint of amusement audible in his voice. Just seeing that moss-head's grin infected him with an uncontrollable urge to smile himself.  
  
"You said you love me." Zoro singsonged.  
  
"Oh my fucking God." Sanji rolled his eyes as his cheeks flushed violently.  
  
There it was. Now Zoro was probably going to harass him endlessly for being sincere and open for once. He was probably going to print out posters and sell them as band merch, maybe he'd plaster the city with them as well. If Sanji wasn't so happy to finally be reunited with Zoro, he would have most likely kicked his face in.  
  
"Let me relish this glorious moment, Mr Crow Prince. I deserve it." Zoro cocked an eyebrow as he tugged Sanji closer to him.  
  
"No, fuck off! Don't embarrass me!" Sanji sneered as he dodged Zoro's kiss by burrowing his face into the crook of his neck.  
  
His face felt literally on fire. He couldn't quite wrap his head around what had just happened, still. Sanji had finally been able to confess his feelings for Zoro, and Zoro had finally spat it out, too. He was in Zoro's arms, no matter the teasing, Sanji was exactly where he belonged and he couldn't even quantify his happiness.  
  
Take that, Bartolomeo!  
  
The thought made him grin against Zoro's neck. Now he really wondered what that little shit was going to do about the news. What exactly would have been the news, anyway? Sanji wasn't an expert on relationships, but he assumed that they probably were a couple, now?  
  
Gross.   
  
But then again, if he thought about how good it felt to be kissed and cuddled by Zoro… That was the very _opposite_ of gross.  
  
"Do you wanna come to my place, later?" Zoro asked softly, his lips pressing softly against Sanji's hair.  
  
Sanji's brain stopped wandering and fantasizing at those words. The blond reared back to look into Zoro's eyes, his eyebrows drawn together in what could only be read as fear or concern. Something deep inside of him made a mild panic surge from the abyss of his mind.   
  
So many things crowded his head all at once, making it really hard for Sanji to think straight, or to just take the request as a normal invitation. The word _slut_ resonated in his ears, Bellamy leering over him and offering him money in exchange of sex flashed before his eyes. The nightmares, the memories, the abuse he had forgotten about. He knew Zoro would have never hurt him, he knew he wouldn't have waited for so long just to get into bed with him. He had had plenty of occasions for that.  
  
Yet Sanji didn't want Zoro to be like all the others, he didn't want to kiss and just automatically jump into a backseat, pop into a stall or whatever. Sanji knew that what he felt for Zoro was real and that sleeping with him would have held a deeper meaning… But it was really hard for him to separate things, in that very moment. What Sanji finally had was something special, something more valuable than any riches, any record contract and any other materialistic possession. He wasn't going to taint it, nor let it slip through his fingers.  
  
Sanji hadn't realized for how long he had been staring at Zoro, long after the drummer had posed the question, and it was apparently starting to worry him.  
  
"You alright?" Zoro scowled, squinting for a brief moment at the bizarre reaction of the singer.  
  
"I-I…" Sanji started, his cheeks were probably going to melt off at some point, if they kept igniting like a damned griddle. He was trying to collect the best words to convey his thoughts, but in that moment his mind had short-circuited.  
  
"If you don't wanna come over, that's fine." Zoro went on, his expression unaltered as he was probably still trying to figure out what went wrong.  
  
"I do!" Sanji finally sputtered. Of course he wanted to go to Zoro's, his every fiber longed to be as close as humanly possible to him. It was what could have come afterwards that irrationally frightened him.  
  
"What is it then?" Zoro kept pressing, he was visibly growing more concerned by the moment.  
  
"Shit! This is so embarrassing!" Sanji whined as he tried to sink into his coat to hide from Zoro's gaze.   
  
He couldn't believe the ridiculous turmoil inside of him, he felt like a teenager all over again. Sanji hadn't been awkward about sex in such a long time, he was sort of ashamed of himself.  
  
"Sanji, what the fuck is going on?" Zoro insisted, his tone was still concerned but definitely laced with a tiny bit of exasperation.   
  
"I don't wanna do it, okay?" Sanji finally groaned out, eyes screwed shut in an idle attempt to fend off his shame.  
  
"What the fuck…" Zoro repeated, almost in a whisper.  
  
Sanji opened his eyes again, only to see Zoro's trademark stern scowl glowering at him. Panic pervaded Sanji as soon as he saw that expression, his fear of having fucked everything up immediately devouring him.  
  
"L-look, this is stupid, I-I'm sorry, but–" Sanji tried to somehow take back what he had confessed, but Zoro pressed his hand against his mouth to cut him off.  
  
"Shut up for a second!" Zoro growled in annoyance "I only asked you to come sleep over, like we always did." even in the dim light Sanji could see red tinting Zoro's cheeks.   
  
Sanji's eyes grew wider as he heard those words. He felt so damn stupid. Zoro had never really forced him to do anything, he had always been the one who stopped Sanji before he could do anything they would have both regretted. Slowly, Zoro dropped his hand from Sanji's mouth, allowing him to speak again.  
  
"You… Probably have black all over your palm." was all Sanji was able to say as he looked down at his feet, embarrassed.   
  
Ah, yes. Dodging the subject. Sanji could have won gold at the Olympics for that specialty.  
  
Zoro snorted, his cheeks a slightly paler shade of crimson "I have black lipstick and foundation everywhere, for that matter."   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking stupid." Sanji sighed, lifting his eyes back on Zoro. His expression was still stern, but definitely more relaxed. "I just…" he paused, thinking his words through.  
  
Suddenly a metaphorical light bulb lit up by the side of Sanji's head as an idea popped up in his mind. It was going to sound completely stupid, especially because it didn't suit Sanji at all, but he had ultimately stepped way out of his comfort zone, so... Why not take it to the next level?  
  
"You should take me out to dinner, first." Sanji announced, resolute.  
  
Yes. That's was what would have made Sanji feel more at ease. Something closer to normalcy. A nice date with Zoro would have definitely put some of Sanji's fears at ease.  
  
"Y-you mean like a date?" Zoro asked, his voice sounding comically higher than normal.  
  
"Yes," Sanji gave a curt nod, ignoring Zoro's high pitch "let's go on a date. I wanna do that."  
  
Zoro blinked as he stared at Sanji in utter bewilderment. Sanji arched an eyebrow at Zoro's lack of reaction. As odd of a request it might have sounded, coming from Sanji, he wanted things with Zoro to be different. Because Zoro had always been the great exception. Zoro was the _only_ exception. Things with Zoro were supposed to be special.  
  
"What? Don't I deserve it?" Sanji began, arms folding across his chest. "I don't deserve to go on a date?" he repeated, to make his point even clearer.  
  
"I didn't say that!" Zoro exclaimed, defensive.  
  
"Well, you did think it, though." Sanji scoffed, he was starting to grow frustrated by the second.   
  
Why did Zoro have to ruin it? That was rude.  
  
"What?!" Zoro cried out. "Holy shit, Sanji. I didn't say or do anything! I was just surprised you'd ask to go on a date," he shrugged, puzzlement still plastered on his features "that's all."  
  
Sanji didn't know whether his face had ever stopped being a dark shade of pink, because he had technically never stopped blushing. Or at least that's how it felt, as warmth had concentrated to his cheekbones and ears.  
  
"Isn't that what normal couples do?" Sanji shrugged, his eyes unable to stay locked with Zoro's in the embarrassment of the moment.  
  
His gaze dropped to the concrete as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Zoro's silence weighted like a ton of bricks being unloaded over his head. Sanji didn't even know why he was striving so much for normality, it had never been something he'd ever wanted to achieve. He'd always searched for the complete opposite.  
  
"So…" Zoro started, but Sanji still stared down at the floor "We're a couple now?"  
  
The blood froze in Sanji's veins, quickly draining from his face and ears. Had he fucked up, already? God, why did it have to be so complicated?  
  
"I…" Sanji began, eyes shooting up to meet Zoro's again "We…" he kept his mouth open but no sound would come out, not even a breath.  
  
Zoro shook his head, smirk stretching his lips as he grabbed a fistful of Sanji's faux fur in order to tug him closer.   
  
"We can do whatever you want." Zoro said in a low, warm voice that coursed through Sanji like electricity "But we're eating Japanese, and not that weird French cuisine you always babble about."  
  
It was like a switch had been turned on inside of Sanji, and all his body was fueled with outrage "How dare you insult French cuisine, you uncultured swine!"  
  
Zoro bursted out in a loud laugh before wrapping his arms around Sanji and pressing his lips to the side of his head "I missed getting on your nerves, too."  
  
Sanji shook his head softly, rolling his eyes "I'm pretty sure you'll do a great job at that, and you'll regret it soon."  
  
Zoro kept laughing like the giant bag of dicks that he was, and Sanji couldn't help but smirk softly, as he was wrapped in his embrace. He leaned into the hug, calm spreading through him once again as he felt Zoro's warmth against him, and the bubbling of his laughter in his chest.  
  
"Sanji! Sanji, are you still out here?"  
  
A feminine voice called out to Sanji, and for some reason both he and Zoro felt compelled to exchange a worried glance.   
  
"Sanji, Eustass is–" Nami appeared right outside the backdoor, eyes the size of the moon as she stared at the couple, utterly baffled.  
  
Zoro and Sanji gawked at her in return, while they were still wrapped up together.  
  
"What the f…" Nami whispered.

 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two months, I know, I know. But honestly writing this story gets so hard at times, especially when I want it to be really good and do it justice. I want to thank you all for being so patient and extremely supportive, for leaving the sweetest comments, reviews and messages on my tumblr. Thanks to all of you who added me on my SIO/ZoSan instragram (everyone else can still add me at cigsandbooze, but make sure to let me know you're a SIO reader, because the profile is set to private and I don't add everyone that adds me) and watched my livestreams.
> 
> Special thanks goes to my girlfriend, and a few very special people who perfectly know who they are. Thank you for being always here for me and supporting me like no one else could do.
> 
> Enough blabbering now, enjoy the chapter!

Moments went by as the three people were frozen like a photograph, a snap taken right at the time of a baffling occurring. Sanji and Zoro still clung to each other, their heads turned to the back door of Punk Hazard, Nami was frozen on the threshold, a foot on the concrete, the other still inside the backstage.  
  
Finally, as if someone had resumed the scene after setting it on pause, Nami tore herself from the door frame to take a few strides in the direction of the busted duo. Expression threatening, fists tightened by her sides, the red contacts made her glare look even deadlier.  
  
"N-Nami…?" Sanji managed to stutter out as she raised her hand only to lower it with all her might on Zoro's cheek.  
  
Sanji's eyes couldn't really grow wider than they already were, but he watched as Zoro's head turned underneath the strength of the slap and heard him grunt.  
  
"Well," Zoro let go of Sanji just to turn his entire body towards Nami "you got my attention."  
  
The drummer had kind of seen it coming. Not only because of Nami's threatening glare, but because of the way he had alienated everyone who wasn't his direct family. He knew Nami would have been the angriest one, and she had always been very physical about her rage. Especially when it came to Zoro and Luffy.  
  
"You fucking idiot!" Nami barked at the top of her lungs.  
  
Zoro gave a curt nod and a single-shouldered shrug "Can't argue with that."  
  
Sanji had automatically taken a step back and was left staring at the scene developing before his eyes. Completely unable to deal with Nami's actions and Zoro's chill reaction.  
  
"How dare you drop everything like… I don't even know!" Nami brought her hands to her head, pent up frustration violently pouring out of her like water from a fractured dam. "You abandoned us like assholes do with old dogs! Oh my fucking God! I can't even put into words how mad I am!"  
  
Sanji had no idea of how Nami felt. He was gaping at the anger painted all over her features, at the redness tinting her ears and cheeks. She had been keeping all of this to herself and never once told Sanji about it. Of course she had been mad at the beginning of the ordeal, but he truly had no clue about how she had been holding up all this time. Now that he was left to think about it, he kind of felt like an asshole for not even once putting his own misery aside to ask about Nami's.  
  
"I shouldn't have vanished, I know." Zoro nodded, there was still an angry red five fingers mark on his cheek, yet It didn't seem to affect him even in the slightest. "But would you rather I constantly lashed out at both Ace and Sanji, ruining everything to the point of non return?" he asked, an eyebrow cocked as he waited for an answer.  
  
Sanji felt the most uncomfortable of tugs to his stomach, heat suddenly pooling into his cheeks. Guilt still gnawed at him, hearing Zoro's words was like picking at a scab that was still too fresh. He folded his arms across his chest, somehow trying to make himself look smaller.  
  
Nami bit her lower lip, her gaze dropping to the concrete as she slowly shook her head. If she was going to start crying Sanji would have probably lost his shit.  
  
"No, I know…" Nami started, her head slowly rising again to meet Zoro's eyes "But it still hurt like a bastard. You shouldn't have dropped off the face of the earth! I missed you, goddamn it!" she growled as she shoved Zoro with force, yet not really managing to move him much.  
  
Zoro's lips twitched as if he wanted to say something, but at the same time not being able to. Just like usual. He hadn't really changed too much, Sanji could see that. What he did, though, was something a lot more eloquent than words, and something Zoro wouldn't really usually do.  
  
"Quit trying to hurt me," the drummer muttered as he simply pulled Nami close to him to wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace.  
  
The biggest grin spread across Sanji's face, and a sense of warm happiness enveloped him. He covered his mouth with his right hand and shook his head, the grin wasn't planning on going anywhere.  
  
"You're a fucking idiot! I hope Sanji told you, too!" Nami whined as she rested her chin on Zoro's shoulder and held him as tight as she could. Her lower lip was still tucked between her teeth, but she was smiling nonetheless.  
  
"I did, don't worry." Sanji let out a teary laugh as he shook his head, tightening his arms around himself as he smiled at the two people he adored the most on that earth.

"He did, yeah." Zoro smirked as he glanced over at Sanji, his arms still looped around Nami.  
  
They stayed like that for a few more quiet moments, then Nami pulled back from Zoro's embrace to quickly wipe a couple stray tears off her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. Her eyes wandered from Zoro to Sanji, then set back on Sanji.  
  
"Are you two…?" Nami's eyebrows furrowed quizzically, as if she had just figured out what had happened moments before she had walked in on the two guys.  
  
"Idiots?" Zoro asked, then let his eyes flutter shut and gave a curt nod.  
  
Simultaneously, Sanji raised his eyebrows "Humans? No." he shook his head.  
  
He was actually dying to tell Nami about the news. Every fiber in his body wanted to scream out that Zoro still loved him, and they had finally become a couple. Yet he couldn't help but being an idiot, just like Zoro had correctly said.  
  
"Fuck off! You're more than idiots!" Nami groaned, rolling her eyes.  
  
"He's here, Nami. He couldn't stay away," Sanji casually shrugged as he briefly tipped his head towards Zoro "he's whipped." he nodded.  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" Zoro growled as he turned to Sanji, face flushing a dark shade of pink.

Nami folded her arms underneath her breasts, shifting her weight to her right leg as she stared at the guys with a raised eyebrow "You look like the creepiest clowns, you got black smeared all over your faces."  
  
Zoro's first instinct was to vigorously and quickly wipe his mouth off on the sleeve of his jacket, Sanji looked at him and softly shook his head. He was still a klutz, that certainly hadn't changed either.  
  
"I'm gonna need to fix my face, shit." Sanji sighed. There was no way he would risk ruining his coat just to clean off his face.  
  
"Well make it quick, alright?" Nami ordered. Yes, because she rarely asked, when it came to work.  
  
"Aye, my lady." Sanji gave her a curt nod.  
  
He still didn't like being ordered around, but Nami had always been like that. And after everything she had done for him lately, she could definitely order him around how much she wanted. For a short period of time, of course.  
  
Nami kept a straight, stoic expression as she nodded back to Sanji, but the seriousness slowly dropped from her face as she cut the distance between her and Sanji in two long strides. A grin threatened to split her face in a half as she threw her arms around Sanji's neck to hold him as tightly as she could. She burrowed her face into the crook of Sanji's neck, making him shiver as he felt her warm breath against his skin.  
  
"I'm so happy for you, you have no idea!" Nami whispered, once she found her way to Sanji's ear.  
  
Sanji's eyes fluttered shut at those words, his chest warmer than ever as he hugged her back just as tightly. He was never going to thank her enough for all the patience and love she had put into caring for Sanji when everything else was falling apart. Sanji had always found a good friend, a funny friend to hang out with and buy lingerie with, in Nami, he never thought one day their friendship would reach such a point. Not that he was complaining, not at all.  
  
"I couldn't have done it without you." Sanji whispered back. He didn't want to cry again, but Nami was really making it a challenge. Before he could even realize it, Nami pressed her painted lips against his cheek as the only answer she could give him.  
  
"A little more black shouldn't really hurt you." Nami smirked as she pulled back. She winked at Zoro, then swanned back inside the backstage.  
  
Sanji touched the part of his cheek were Nami's lips had left a lipstick mark with his fingertips, then turned to look at Zoro, who was staring at him with the sliest of smirk curving his lips.  
  
"What's so funny?" Sanji asked as his hand dropped to his side.  
  
"You are." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, then nodded towards the back door "Shall we?" he asked.  
  
Sanji glanced at the door, a grimace warping his features as the thought of having to share Zoro with the others hit him. He wanted to keep holding him in the outside cold, in the dim light of the backstage door. He wanted to keep kissing him until his lipstick would be completely gone from his lips, until Zoro's lips bruised from Sanji's teeth abuse.  
  
But he knew they had to check back in with reality, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives in a parking lot. Someone was bound to find and interrupt them again, at some point, there was no escaping that.  
  
It still felt somewhat weird to have Zoro right there with him, just like it felt absolutely odd that Sanji could just look at him and finally don't see restraint in Zoro. Sanji could run his hands over Zoro's chest and through his hair without him moving away or complaining. He could kiss Zoro and not be pushed away, and that was one of the most amazing feelings he had ever experienced in his life. And now that he knew what it was like to kiss someone he was in love with, Sanji didn't want to stop.  
  
"C'mhere, first." Sanji said as he took a fistful of the front of Zoro's jacket, and roughly yanked him in to swallow any possible complaint in his mouth.  
  
Zoro was still smirking against Sanji's lips, but quickly relaxed as he deepened the kiss, hands holding Sanji's slim hips firmly, yet gently. Sanji pulled back a few seconds afterwards, eyelids drooped and a content expression painting his features as he stared at Zoro's slightly black stained lips.  
  
"Ready now?" Zoro asked, but didn't let go of Sanji's hips.  
  
"Not really," Sanji scrunched his nose.  
  
He slowly snaked his arms around Zoro's neck. Though he found it so cheesy, it also felt so good to push his fingers through Zoro's mohawk and massage the back of his head.  
  
Sanji felt Zoro shiver underneath his touch, his eyes suddenly fluttered shut as he lowered his head to give Sanji's hand more access to the soft skin on the nape of his neck.  
  
"Neither am I." Zoro confessed with a purr, making Sanji laugh.  
  
He was pretty sure he had never actually heard Zoro make that kind of sound, yet he felt like it could quickly become one of his favorite sounds ever. Sanji worried his bottom lip between his teeth, and tasted the metal from the small cut. He could feel that Zoro was still slightly tense, and it made Sanji smirk ever so slightly.  
  
"Well… We still got later tonight," Sanji shrugged, casually "don't we?"  
  
Zoro opened his eyes again, there was a light in his eyes that made Sanji's heart skip a beat. Had Zoro always looked at him with that same gaze? Sanji wasn't sure he'd ever seen that soft glint shine into the deep brown of Zoro's eyes. No one had ever looked at Sanji like that, there was nothing impure into that gaze, it was… Love. Yes, it was love. Sanji could finally recognize it.  
  
"Of course we do, if you want." Zoro's voice was soft and warm as he gave Sanji a curt nod.  
  
He was making sure that Sanji really wanted to spend the night at his place, and if Sanji would have been able to melt into a puddle of himself, he most definitely would have. He didn't know what he had done to be so lucky to have Zoro. To still have him, actually, despite everything.  
  
"Let's go, then." Sanji smiled as he pulled away from Zoro to walk back inside, but was suddenly stopped by Zoro's hand holding his.  
  
Sanji looked down at their hands, then up to Zoro's very serious expression, and once again risked exploding right there and then. It was the simplest, most innocent gesture, they had held hands countless times before, but this time it held a higher meaning.  
  
They were a couple, now. It was a symbol of their love for each other, a symbol of them belonging together, and it felt so stupidly powerful that it nearly brought Sanji to tears all over again. Fuck, he was starting to morph into a fountain or some shit, how pathetic.  
  
"You need another moment?" Zoro asked, eyebrow cocking as he searched for Sanji's gaze.  
  
"Fuck off." Sanji muttered as he looked away, not letting Zoro see that underneath the half removed make up his cheekbones were reddening all over again.  
  
Sanji tugged on Zoro's hand as he started in the direction of the back door, and for the first time in too long of a while, he heard the sound of heavy footsteps following in behind his own.  
  
It was insane. Every small sound or gesture made Sanji's heart flutter. All the tiny details meant something so much bigger to Sanji than he could have ever imagined. Even the warmth of Zoro's hand around his could have made him emotional. He tried not to think about it too much, at least not in that moment. He still had one last stage performance to deliver, and he needed to make Zoro proud of him. Not to mention how much he wasn't in the mood to be made fun of by the others.  
  
They had just taken a few steps towards the threshold when Zoro stopped abruptly, and Sanji turned around to shoot him a confused look.  
  
"Is everyone in the backstage?" Zoro asked, his trademark scowl back on his face.  
  
Sanji frowned as well at the question "Huh? I don't know. They should be," he shrugged a shoulder "why?"  
  
Zoro pursed his lips.  
  
Was he nervous?  
  
"You better not chicken out and run away, because I'm gonna run after you and break both of your legs." Sanji threatened, both his eyebrows lifted as he spoke.  
  
"No, what the fuck?" Zoro snorted "I didn't mean it like that," he shook his head "I only wanted to know how should we act."  
  
Sanji's bewilderment only increased. He didn't say anything in return and just kept staring at the man standing in front of him.  
  
"Like…" Zoro rolled his eyes, huffing. Yep, he still didn't like explaining himself. "Should we just walk in holding hands like nothing ever happened?"  
  
"Ohh…" it finally dawned on Sanji. Zoro wanted to know if they had to make any particular entrance. A smirk tugged at the corners of Sanji's mouth "Yes, that's the best entrance we can make. That'll give them a stroke."  
  
Zoro grinned "That's what I was talking about."  
  
"Shall we?" Sanji asked one last time to make sure Zoro was ready. Even if really… Maybe it was Sanji who still wasn't.  
  
"Yeah, just–" Zoro licked his thumb and then brought it to Sanji's face to try and take off all the smudged lipstick and eyeshadow off his face.  
  
Sanji grimaced in the process "Why you gotta be gross?" he said, without really moving away, nor slapping Zoro's hand off.  
  
"You love me, so embrace my grossness," Zoro said, completely concentrated in what he was doing "also you are the gross one, with all this black on your face."  
  
Sanji snorted and rolled his eyes, yet kept still until Zoro was done cleaning him up. Or attempting at it.  


"You done?" Sanji arched an eyebrow when Zoro finally took his hands off of Sanji's face.  
  
He wanted to be annoyed, but he simply couldn't. Not when Zoro was being so thoughtful and his concentrated expression was making Sanji want to pepper his face in kisses.  
  
"Hm, kinda." Zoro said as he tilted his head to the left and to the right.  
  
Sanji pursed his lips and shook his head. He definitely had his doubts on how much black Zoro could have cleaned up by using just one finger, yet he appreciated the effort.  
  
"Trust me, it's definitely better than the corpse paint from before." Zoro nodded as he resumed holding Sanji's hand in order to walk inside.  
  
Sanji laced their fingers together, absentmindedly giving Zoro's hand a squeeze "I'm sure I looked great even with runny makeup." he smirked as he started again in the direction of the backstage.  
  
"Yeah, you looked like you're in Satyricon or something." Zoro teased as he walked right beside Sanji.  
  
"Shut up." Sanji rolled his eyes as they finally stepped inside, and were suddenly surrounded by Freakshow's slightly muffled music, coming from the stage.  
  
No one from the Freakshow crew was obviously around, they were all busy either on the sides of the stage, or at the lights and mixer console. Sanji could spot The Crows all huddled up by the stage ladder as they watched the concert from down below. Ace and Smoker weren't around, they were probably off to get drinks for everyone, but Bartolomeo was right there, standing a little too close to Sabo who didn't seem to mind at all. That was weird, but Sanji didn't think too much of it, except maybe for the fact that he couldn't wait to rub the recent development into Barto's face.  
  
Yes, Sanji really couldn't wait to show everyone that Zoro was there, after all, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to take even one step further ahead. He had stopped halfway towards the stage and Zoro was now frowning over at him.  
  
"You alright?" Zoro asked, eyebrows drawn impossibly close together as he studied Sanji.  
  
"Yeah, I am! Stop asking!" Sanji bursted, and he had definitely been loud enough for everyone to turn around and gawk at both of them.  
  
There was a loud cry of " _Zoro_?!" then everyone ran towards the couple who was standing dumbstruck in the same exact spot they had stopped in.  
  
"You're here, bro! I can't believe it!" Franky said as he pulled the drummer into a bone crushing hug.  
  
Luffy, Usopp and Sabo were standing aside with knowing grins, it was easy to tell that they had known all along he was coming. Weren't he as happy as he was, Sanji would have gladly murdered the three of them with his bare hands.  
  
"I'm so happy you came! Did you watch Sanji's performance of Spit It Out?!" Vivi asked right away. She definitely didn't play around.  
  
Sanji lowered his eyes for a moment, a small grin playing on his lips as he heard Zoro snigger.  
  
"I did, yeah. I'm still recovering from that, actually."  
  
Sanji's head snapped up to stare at Zoro with wide eyes. Had he truly said that? In front of all their friends? Shit. He knew he was turning redder than a tomato, he wished he could vanish for a couple days at last.  
  
"I didn't think you'd be this quick to bring him back, Sanji," Robin chimed in, making everyone but Zoro and Sanji laugh "great job!" she smirked.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked, bewilderment suddenly painting his features.  
  
"Z-Zoro!" Bartolomeo finally had the chance to slip into the confused conversation, rudely interrupting Robin.  
  
"Hey, Bart." Zoro smiled softly at him, and Sanji casually shifted as close has humanly possible to Zoro.  
  
"Bart…" Sanji spat out under his breath.  
  
Zoro's eyebrow shot upwards, Sanji didn't think he'd heard his whisper, but apparently he'd been wrong. The drummer wrapped a strong and possessive arm around Sanji's neck, pulling him closer and making his stomach flutter. Sanji didn't know whether he should have been embarrassed or proud, but he felt his cheeks flaring up as he straightened up and wrapped an arm around Zoro's waist.  
  
Bartolomeo's jaw dropped at the gesture and his eyes grew so wide that Sanji thought they were going to fall off of their sockets. Yes, that was the reaction he'd hoped for. A gigantic grin spread on Sanji's lips and he pulled Zoro even closer than he already was.  
  
"Holy shit!" Bartolomeo cried out, making Sanji's grin grow even bigger. He looked like he was about to have a stroke or something, but Sanji didn't have time to comment or inquire because suddenly everyone was shouting.  
  
"I knew it! I knew it!" Luffy yelled as he pumped both fists in the air.  
  
"About fucking time!" Sabo laughed out as he raised his eyebrows and clapped his hands together.  
  
"I _super_ agree with you, bro!" Franky sniggered as he nudged Sabo with his elbow.  
  
"Oh my God! Sanji, Zoro, I'm so happy for you guys!" Vivi covered her mouth with both her hands, then all but threw herself at the couple to hold them both tight.  
  
"Don't kill them, babe! They just got together!" Nami teased.  
  
"This is too good," Usopp said as he snapped a photo of Vivi crushing Sanji and Zoro with her affection and excitement.  
  
"Usopp!" Sanji growled as soon as he realized what he had just done "Don't post that anywhere! I probably look like shit!"  
  
"You don't!" Usopp rolled his eyes "But I promise I won't."  
  
"Sanji!" Nami gasped all of a sudden, making everyone stare at her with a quizzical frown "You should tell Kidd whether you're gonna sing with him or not!"  
  
"Fuck!" Sanji gasped, himself. He turned to look at Zoro, he didn't want to miss any moment with him, even if they had plenty of time ahead.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked, arching an eyebrow "It's not like I'm gonna disappear, or anything.".  
  
Sanji snorted "Like you've never done that."  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes "Shut your face."  
  
"I can't be bothered," Sanji huffed, then looked over at Nami "I should redo my whole makeup, I don't feel like."  
  
"That's fine, I'll go tell Shachi." Usopp winked at Sanji, cracking a smile.  
  
"I'll go with you!" Luffy cried out way too loudly, as he threw an arm around Usopp's neck.  
  
"Thanks, guys!" Sanji smirked, content.  
  
"We should fucking celebrate, guys!" Sabo said as he clapped a heavy hand on Zoro's shoulder "I've been waiting for this moment for years!"  
  
"Oh my fucking…" Zoro growled lowly as covered his eyes with a hand.  
  
"You what?!" Sanji yelled out, one octave too high.  
  
"Honestly…" Bartolomeo chimed in softly, his cheekbones red tinted as everyone's gaze flew automatically to him "I was kind of waiting for this to happen, too." he looked down and a sheepish smile curved his lips.  
  
Sanji couldn't believe his ears. That made no sense whatsoever. Bartolomeo had always had the biggest crush on Zoro, how could he be waiting for he and Sanji to get together? He could accept such statement coming from their friends, who had known about Zoro's feelings for Sanji for such a long time. Bartolomeo's confession sounded plain impossible.  
  
"What? Really?" Zoro scowled, clearly taken aback.  
  
"Y-yeah, really…" Bartolomeo went on, but he still didn't look up at them. "I-I... I can't deny I've always liked Zoro, b-but…" his face was turning completely scarlet. He was so distressed that it was a surprise he didn't pass out or started crying. "I'm a big fan of yours, first! A-and… And I've always known about the special bond you two shared, a-and I'm so, so, so sorry I made things hard for you."  
  
Everyone kept quiet. Zoro's eyes were comically wide as he listened through Bartolomeo's unexpected confession. Sanji didn't know how to feel, but he was gaping at Bartolomeo probably the same way as Zoro was.  
  
How the fuck could that be true? Sanji didn't think he could believe it.  
  
"You're so full of shit." Sanji blurted out, unable to control himself.  
  
Bartolomeo's eyes darted in his direction, confusion painted all over his features.  
  
"I'm serious!" the almost outraged looking guy retorted.  
  
"You've tried to get into his pants a lot more than I did," Sanji kept vomiting uncontrollably, not caring about the fact that the two of them weren't having a private conversation. "You did everything in your power to try and ruin everything that Zoro and I had. And now you dare say that you're happy for us, and this is something you've been hoping would happen?"  
  
"Cook, let it go." Zoro sighed as he briefly tightened the grip of his arm around Sanji's neck.  
  
"Like fuck I will, I'm not shitty Elsa!" Sanji growled in response to Zoro. He felt legitimately like he was about to combust from rage. That was a load of crap, even if Barto could mean it.  
  
The bewilderment on Barto's features was slowly melting into despair. Sanji could see the color drain from his face and tears welling up into his waterline. That suited him, if he wanted to keep being smart with Zoro he could, but Sanji wasn't going to buy any of his crap.  
  
"We weren't together, he had his right to try and hit on me." Zoro commented all of a sudden.  
  
Sanji had never pushed anyone away quicker than he did Zoro in that moment. He wriggled away from his boyfriend to shoot him the dirtiest of looks, he couldn't believe his ears.  
  
"What did you just say?" Sanji asked, his glare was deadly but Zoro was unnervingly unaffected.  
  
"He was free to hit on me, just like you were free to hit on every other guy you've ever been with," Zoro shrugged, his expression completely blank "still that didn't change how I felt about you in the slightest. Bartolomeo has tried his hardest, yes, but he still miserably failed." he effortlessly explained with a shrug.  
  
Bartolomeo let out a soft moan as he dropped his head.  
  
"Sorry, pal. Nothing you didn't know." Zoro went on.  
  
"That's alright." Bartolomeo nodded, but his head was still lowered.  
  
Sanji didn't know what to say, but he could feel multiple pairs of eyes burning against his skin and making him feel like he was completely naked. He shouldn't have picked that very moment and place to start that argument, he really regretted that. Yet he also felt incredibly warm inside, because of what Zoro has just said. It was even bigger than a simple ' _I love you_ ', it was such a beautiful declaration of love and Sanji definitely didn't want to start bawling his eyes out for the millionth time that night.  
  
"Sorry…" Sanji muttered out.  
  
He was apologizing to everyone in that room, for everything that had ever happened and every stupid thing he had ever done... And that he was apparently still doing.  
  
"I'll leave you two alone now," Bartolomeo nodded, a weak smile playing on his thin lips "I'm gonna see if Shachi and Penguin might need a hand."  
  
Sanji looked at him embarrassed and just nodded his head. Bartolomeo was officially out of the band, because Zoro was back. He wondered if he was still going to be part of the Crows fandom, though.  
  
"I'll go with you," Sabo chimed in, a charming grin stretching his lips.  
  
Bartolomeo's eyes lit up all of a sudden "O-oh… Alright, thanks!"  
  
Sabo winked at him, then turned to the others before disappearing with Bartolomeo past the pit door "See ya later!"  
  
"Are they serious?" Nami commented.  
  
Sanji mentally blessed her for being one hell of an ice breaker.  
  
"Sabo is totally gonna nail him," Franky snorted "what a legend."  
  
"Quiet." Robin said in such a calm tone that it actually chilled everyone's blood.  
  
"S-sorry babe. I _clearly_ super kiddin'." Franky nervously chuckled.  
  
Despite everything, even how weird it was that Sabo was apparently going to hook up with Bartolomeo, and that Franky had just been called out by Robin, Sanji's mind was still set on Zoro's words from just a few moments before.  
  
"I'm always an asshole, huh?" Sanji commented, soft enough for only Zoro to hear it. The small smile stretching his lips was hollow.  
  
"Yeah, but at least you acknowledge it." Zoro replied with the shrug of a single shoulder, cracking a crooked smirk a second later.  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes. He didn't have any energy left for that kind of banter, he had been going through the biggest roller coaster of events and emotions and he was actually exhausted. He just wanted to crawl underneath a pile of comforters and sleep for a century or two.  
  
In that moment he felt Zoro's arm wrap around his neck again, and his heart started hammering in his chest when he felt Zoro's lips getting closer and closer to the shell of his ear.  
  
"But you're _my_ asshole, so don't worry." Zoro whispered, his warm breath caressing Sanji's skin.  
  
"Fuck off, oh my God!" Sanji whined as he covered his eyes with a hand.  
  
Zoro was the absolute worst. Sanji couldn't believe the nerve he had to almost make him cry in front of everyone. If that wasn't enough, he went on and planted a kiss to Sanji's temple, making Nami, Vivi and Franky shout like they were watching a baseball match or something.  
  
"I'm gonna cry, you guys are too adorable." Vivi groaned out as she fanned herself with both hands.  
  
"Stop!" Sanji whined as he tried to wriggle out of Zoro's grip again.  
  
"Hey, hey! What's going on, here?" Ace's voice suddenly made everyone stop, and turn to look at him. "Holy shit... You guys made up?" he grinned, his arms were overflowing with beer cans.  
  
"About time," Smoker commented as he appeared beside Ace, his hands full of wine bottles. "Ace told me plenty about you."  
  
Okay, but… Why was the floor still intact, underneath Sanji's feet? Couldn't it just crack open, already? That would have been quite helpful.  
  
There was no time for anyone to say or do anything, beside laugh, because Luffy and Usopp were back too, with food in their hands, and Chopper walking along with them with sparkling eyes and an inhumanely large grin spread across his face.  
  
"Zoro, look who I found all alone in the pit!" Luffy sniggered as he tilted his head towards the boy standing on his right.  
  
"Oh my God! You're Sanji! The Crow Prince!" Chopper yelled as soon as his eyes landed on Sanji.

A whirlwind of voices and people all arriving at the same time, everything and everyone was louder than ever, and Sanji was starting to feel somewhat dizzy. His eyes landed on the young boy that was staring at him like he was the very best thing after sliced bread. He had the biggest pair of hazel eyes, sitting on childish features that probably made him look younger than he actually was. He looked considerably shorter than Luffy, and had light brown, incredibly messy hair – probably due to the headbanging, if he had watched the concert.  
  
Sanji's eyebrows creased as he understood that Zoro actually knew the boy. Confusion permeated his being, as his eyes darted from Zoro to the boy, then to Luffy's excited expression. Though Sanji couldn't tell if he was more excited about the food or the boy that had just shouted at him.  
  
"I see you met Luffy!" Zoro smirked down at the boy, then turned to look at Sanji, who was still dumbfounded. "This is Chopper, he's young but already a doctor," he explained, not that it made complete sense to Sanji, still "And a fan of ours." he added.  
  
"Chopper?" Sanji's left eyebrow quirked, quizzically. He still couldn't understand how Zoro and this young man knew each other. Hadn't Zoro disappeared from earth's radars?  
  
"It's just a nickname!" Chopper quickly dismissed it, waving his hands "My real name's actually Tony!"  
  
"Oh, that's fine," Sanji shrugged. He didn't really care what his real name was, it wasn't an important piece of information.  
  
"And I'm not a proper doctor yet, I'm still studying to become one!" Chopper went on with a nervous laugh, his left hand scratching the back of his head.  
  
It was still quite impressive, no matter how much Chopper tried to shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal. He was probably the same age as Luffy, if not a tad younger, and he was already a doctor? Or at least, becoming one?  
  
"You patched up Zoro pretty damn well, anyway! Didn't you?" Luffy laughed out as he clapped Chopper several times on the back, the nervous laugh coming out in strangled bursts in result.  
  
Sanji's eyebrows drew together impossibly close. That's when things got clearer, yet simultaneously more confused. So Zoro had gone for a hospital trip and met Chopper on that occasion, still that certainly didn't make Sanji feel any better.  
  
"Patched up?" Sanji groaned as he looked over at Zoro with an inquisitive frown "What the shit happened to you?" he went on, worry laced with annoyance dripped from his words. That damn muscle-brain always injured himself.  
  
"It's nothing," Zoro dismissed it right away with s shrug "just my arm. It's already pretty much healed." he assured Sanji with a curt nod, that definitely didn't put Sanji's mind and heart at rest.  
  
"You went to the hospital for nothing?" Sanji arched a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
"It was a blade wound." Chopper dared chiming in.  
  
Sanji saw indignation warp Zoro's features as his jaw tightened and his eyes darted over to Chopper in a scolding glare.  
  
"A blade?" Sanji cried out. He should have known. It wasn't like Zoro wasn't accustomed to that kind or wounds, but Sanji still didn't approve of it. Never did, especially not after the scar that runs from Zoro's left pectoral to his right hip. "You and your father have been sparring with real swords again?" Sanji scolded with a huff.  
  
"He didn't do it on purpose," Zoro rolled his eyes, arms moving to fold across his chest in a defensive stance "it was my fault, I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have."  
  
"I can't believe you…" Sanji sighed, exasperated.  
  
"It's so beautiful to see them doing this again, isn't it?" Nami commented way too loudly, and definitely on purpose.  
  
"The married couple is back, full force!" Usopp went on, triggering a series of hysterical giggles that made both Zoro and Sanji freeze and turn to stare at their friends.  
  
"Let's celebrate!" Ace shouted as he thrusted a couple of beer bottles into Sanji's and Zoro's hands, then moved on to distribute booze to everyone else.  
  
In the midst of the commotion, the shouting and whooping, Sanji bit his lower lip as he looked at Zoro. He was sincerely concerned about Zoro's arm, now. He didn't even want to know in which condition he might have been sparring with Mihawk. Could he have been drunk? Or just out of his mind for the grief? Anything could have been possible.  
  
"What?" Zoro asked as he twisted the cap of the beer bottle open with his teeth.  
  
Always a brute. But Sanji didn't comment on it out loud.  
  
"Will you show me the wound, later?" Sanji asked softly, chin jerking in the general direction of Zoro's arm.  
  
Zoro didn't say anything in response and just nodded. Sanji smiled softly and twisted the cap of his bottle off before taking a large sip of lager, only to have a kiss stolen from him the moment he wasn't looking.  
  
"You'll make me spill my beer." Sanji muttered, his cheekbones flushing slightly as he sheepishly looked over at Zoro's grin.  
  
"Nah, I wouldn't let you waste any of it." Zoro shrugged a shoulder.  
  
"Let's go dance, you guys!" Luffy yelled as he began to push Zoro and Sanji towards the door to the venue.  
  
"This is how you truly spill beer." Zoro commented with a laugh.  
  
"I fucking hate your family." Sanji rolled his eyes, making Zoro laugh even harder.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Industrial metal greeted them loud and aggressive, like it was supposed to. The audience dancing and shouting lyrics back at Freakshow, the darkness of the venue was brightened by red and blue lights flickering on the stage.  
  
Zoro had missed all that. He had missed the loudness, the colored lights shattering the darkness, thick fake smoke penetrating your throat, the smell of alcohol and the stench sweat. But most of all he had missed sharing all of that with his friends. Experiencing it all with Sanji.  
  
It still felt insane to be there. It was surreal that he had actually managed to cast everything aside, his nervousness included, and finally kissed Sanji like he meant to. Zoro probably looked cool on the outside, but he had been terrified on the inside. His heart had been on the verge of exploding when Sanji had jumped into his arms the way he had always dreamed.  
  
He thought he'd never made a better decision in his entire life than getting out of his house and letting an eighteen years old drive him to Punk Hazard. Zoro's lips still tingled with the ghost of the feeling of Sanji's mouth on them. The taste of nicotine still lingered atop his tongue. His fingers were probably still stained in black lipstick, but he didn't care.  
  
Zoro held Sanji's hand as Luffy stirred them in the direction of the back of the venue, he knew the others were somewhere behind them but the place was so crowded that he could barely orient himself, even if they were inside. Once they had reached a small portion of the venue where people weren't trying to knock each other out by moshing, Luffy quit pushing and pulling his brother around.  
  
"Usopp and I need a refill!" Luffy shouted from over the music, showing his empty bottle to Zoro and Sanji.  
  
Zoro didn't reply, he didn't feel like yelling an answer, so he just gave him a thumb up and leaned against the wall behind him. They definitely had a good view of the stage from that spot, but the acoustics wasn't as great. A shame, yes, but way too common for smaller venues like that one.  
  
Sanji casually encased himself between Zoro and the wall, a hand slipping into the back pocket of Zoro's jeans that made the drummer gasp in surprise. He was lucky that his surprised sound got drowned by Bonney's guitar and Kidd's booming voice. He glanced over at Sanji who was intently watching the concert, sipping on his beer every now and then. It was so natural and relaxed, and Zoro's chest felt warm and overflowing with all the things he felt for Sanji.  
  
"So," Zoro began, catching Sanji's attention right away "you sang with them, last time?"  
  
"Yeah, it was fun." Sanji nodded. It sounded like he was trying to diminish the event, for some reason, but Zoro didn't think anything of it.  
  
"Why didn't you do it tonight, too?" Zoro kept going before swigging his lager. He probably knew the answer already, but hearing it directly from Sanji's lips would have been a lot more rewarding.  
  
"You know why." Sanji replied, eyes rolling and lips curling into a small smirk before downing some lager.  
  
"Me?" Zoro arched an eyebrow "I know nothing." he shook his head and took another sip of beer.  
  
"Just like Jon Snow." Sanji added. He went back to looking ahead "It's 'cause I gotta babysit you."  
  
"You jerk." Zoro snorted.  
  
Sanji didn't look back at him, his eyes were still focused on the stage as his head softly bounced to the rhythm of the song playing. "Will you dance with me?"  
  
Zoro froze. He never danced, he was probably awful at it, too. He was more of a headbanger kind of guy, he always watched the others going nuts on the dance floor while he sipped huge glasses of strong alcohol.  
  
"What's that?" Zoro dared asking.  
  
"Dance with me?" Sanji repeated, this time his head turned to face Zoro.  
  
"No fucking way." Zoro huffed with laughter.  
  
He didn't want to make a fool out of himself, not that night. Why would he want to ruin it?  
  
Sanji cocked an eyebrow and detached himself from the wall, moving away from Zoro as he simultaneously rounded to grab him by the front of his jacket.  
  
"That was a rhetorical question, Marimo." a mischievous grin spread on Sanji's mischievous face as he tried to tear Zoro away from his little safe corner.  
  
"Gimme a break, you know I don't dance!" Zoro protested, remaining safely anchored to the wall with the aid of his weight. "And I'll spill my beer!"  
  
"C'mon!" Sanji whined, snatching the beer from Zoro's hand and just placing them on the floor, close to the wall "Just this once? For me?"  
  
Why was Sanji even allowed to make that voice? Why was he allowed to let his big blue eyes glisten like that in the darkness? Why was he allowed to pout with those plump lips?  
  
It was so unfair. Zoro was completely powerless before Sanji.  
  
"You're so fucking annoying." Zoro grumbled as he pushed himself away from the wall and allowed Sanji to grab him by the jacket again, and tug him towards the rest of the dancing crowd.  
  
"I'm fucking amazing." Sanji corrected him as he backed up a couple more steps.  
  
"Watch it!" Zoro warned him, not quick enough to prevent him from bumping into a bigger and much bulkier blond dude.  
  
"Ah, shit." Sanji gasped, quickly turning around to offer the stranger an apology that was actually never uttered.  
  
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows as he watched Sanji freeze at the mere sight of the man that cracked him a weird looking grin.  
  
"I didn't even have to look for you, this time." the man spoke in a raspy voice as he stepped closer into Sanji's personal space.  
  
"How the fuck did you get in?" Sanji sputtered.  
  
"Through the front door, baby!" The man shrugged as he barked out a laugh, looking absolutely pleased with himself for his clever answer.  
  
Sanji seemed unable to work up an answer, he was just staring at the other man, petrified. Zoro didn't know who the person was, didn't know if he was someone that Sanji actually knew but his guts told him to stay very alert.  
  
"I knew I'd find you," the man went on speaking, his grin looking grotesque into the dim lit venue. "You gotta pay for getting me fucking banned from a club," one of his massive hands shot up to roughly grab Sanji's chin. "Just because you're a picky slut, a cock is just a cock!"  
  
The singer looked so small and defenseless as the other man screamed abuse into his face, his fingers pushing into Sanji's pale skin enough to bruise it. He was screwing his eyes shut, his entire body was shaking.  
  
Sanji was scared.  
  
He was terrified, and that was so unlike him, he was always capable of fending for himself, but in that moment he looked ready to give up and let the other man do whatever he pleased. The other man's hand was already trying to sneak underneath Sanji's skirt, while the singer didn't even try to stop him.  
  
And Zoro saw red.  
  
He threw the hardest punch he could muster, hitting the bastard into his cheekbone. There was a crack of bones, and the man flew a couple feet aside only to land on the sticky linoleum floor.  
  
"Zoro!" Sanji cried out.  
  
Zoro turned to look at Sanji, his chest heaving as he breathed heavily. His heart broke as soon as he saw the terror in Sanji's eyes. It reminded him of the afternoon in which Zoro told him he didn't want to see him anymore.  
  
Zoro reached out a hand to gently cup Sanji's cheek, and the blond immediately leaned into the reassuring touch, closing his eyes.  
  
"Are you alright?" Zoro asked, still struggling to be heard from over the music.  
  
Sanji opened his eyes again. They glistened with the tears he was holding back, but he still nodded. He still confirmed that he was alright, and that lifted a weight off Zoro's chest.  
  
"That's g–" Zoro's sentence was briskly cut off by a punch. He stumbled to his left for a couple feet but still managed to stand still.  
  
"You fucking asshole, what the fuck do you want?" The man growled as he charged at Zoro once again.  
  
Zoro turned around and was quick enough to dodge the other punch that was being aimed at him. The bastard actually had the nerve to come at him again, after laying his dirty hands on Sanji.  
  
"You're the asshole that should mind his fucking business." Zoro retorted as he spit a bit of blood out and onto the floor.  
  
He briefly raised his eyes to throw Sanji a quick glance, and found him frozen again, only this time with his hands sunken into his golden locks. Sanji looked traumatized, and it was taunting Zoro. He wanted to kill the person that had made Sanji feel like that.  
  
"I was actually trying to _fuck_ my goddamn business, but you had to stick your shitty nose into it!" the man went on as he rounded to try and clock Zoro in the face, again.  
  
Zoro's jaw clenched and his eyebrows twitched at the man's words. He couldn't believe how shallow and awful he was, he was dehumanizing Sanji and treating him like a sex object. A sack of meat with no feelings or opinions that was just a good fuck.  
  
Zoro wanted to destroy him.  
  
He caught the man's fist in with his left hand and began to squeeze it as hard as he could, then proceeded to bend it backwards until it almost touched the wrist. The man screamed in pain and tried to use the other fist to deliver a blow to Zoro's face, but Zoro caught that one too and did exactly the same thing.  
  
"Fucker, let go of me! Stop it!" the man groaned as he was slowly forced to his knees, desperately trying to ease the pressure to his joints.  
  
Zoro couldn't hear the cracking of bones, it was definitely a disappointment, but he enjoyed the pain that warped the man's features probably a little too much. He deserved every moment of that suffering for the pain he had caused to the man Zoro loved.  
  
Just when he thought he had won, a burning hot pain pervaded the center of his face. Warm blood trickled down his nostrils and his vision blurred white. He let go of the man's fists to cover his face with both hands. The fucker had managed to headbutt him pretty hard.  
  
"Fuck! Zoro!" Sanji let out a strangled cry, then proceeded to hurl himself at the man and landed a powerful kick at his kidneys.  
  
The man howled in pain and his legs nearly gave out, but he was so infuriated that he succeeded at turning around and clasping both hands around Sanji's throat so hard that he lifted him off the floor. Sanji's hands grasped at the man's wrists, he gasped for air to no avail.  
  
Zoro didn't waste to much time wiping off blood, he shook his head quickly as if he was trying to regain the full function of his senses. In two long strides he was near the man again, this time he twisted his fingers into the dirty blond mop of hair that sat atop his head and violently yanked him to the floor. Sanji fell on top of him, but managed to squirm his way out of his hands.  
  
"Dirty fucking asshole!" Sanji coughed, massaging his throat with one hand.  
  
Zoro seized his occasion to straddle the bastard and started pummeling his face like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow. He couldn't even hear the music anymore, he was completely enraptured in the violence he was perpetrating. He never thought he could kill anyone, but if he killed the man underneath his fists he wouldn't have minded.  
  
"Stop, Zoro! You'll fucking kill him! Don't!" Sanji shouted as he idly tried to pull Zoro away.  
  
His warnings were falling upon deaf ears, and Zoro had too much adrenaline pumping through his system for Sanji's strength to be enough to stop him. The other man was trying to fight back, he tried a few times to strangle Zoro the same way he had wanted to do to Sanji, but Zoro had simply kept on punching him.  
  
"Please, Zoro! Stop it! You'll go to jail if you keep going, stop this!" Sanji yelled again. He tried tugging at Zoro as hard as he could, still to no avail.  
  
Suddenly Zoro felt two more pairs of arms yanking him up and away from the almost completely unconscious body of the bastard. He was being dragged a few feet away from the man and he tried wriggling away with as much might as he could muster, but the people holding him back were doing a damn good job at it.  
  
"Oi! Knock it off!" Ace yelled into his ear.  
  
It was almost as if a spell had been broken, and Zoro quickly readjusted to reality. Ace and Smoker were the ones keeping his arms in a vicious grip, so hard that it actually hurt. He quickly whipped his head back ahead of him, eyes frantically looking for Sanji. He found him standing over the bastard's body with a hand through his own hair and the other covering his own mouth.  
  
Fuck. Had he seriously murdered the scumbag?  
  
"Shit…" Zoro breathed out. His voice getting swallowed by the music that he had suddenly started hearing again.  
  
"If you killed him you're gonna be screwed," Ace growled "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"  
  
Zoro's head turned again to look at Ace, face warped with the same anger from a few moments before.  
  
"He was molesting Sanji, he fuckin–" Zoro couldn't even bring himself to say the words that were going through his head.  
  
He bit his tongue and shut his eyes. His head hung, almost surrendering to the horror that was flashing in his mind. Sanji being touched inappropriately in front of his eyes, and the thought of what could have come next nearly made him launch himself at the bastard all over again.  
  
"He did what?!" Smoker barked over the loud line of bass and drums that was filling the air.  
  
"You fuckin' heard me." Zoro snarled, then looked back at Sanji again. "Cook!" he called out to him "Cook!" but he just couldn't hear him, he wasn't reacting at all he was just staring down at the scumbag, motionless. "Sanji!"  
  
The singer perked up and let his arms fall along his sides as he immediately looked over at Zoro, still being held back by his brother and Smoker. The fear in his eyes was still there, still heart wrenching, and Zoro wanted to chase it away somehow.  
  
"That bastard is gonna answer to me." Smoker announced as he released his hold on Zoro and walked past him.  
  
Zoro and Ace watched as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs from the back pocket of his jeans, then crouched down to probably check his vitals.  
  
"He's still alive, you're lucky." Smoker informed Zoro as he rolled the bastard on his stomach and proceeded to cuff him.  
  
No one had noticed the small crowd of people that had turned away from the stage to stare at what was happening behind them. Zoro had caused a commotion that could have definitely got him kicked out of the venue, but he didn't care. 

Sanji threw one last glance at the man who was being forced to stand up by Smoker, then looked back at Zoro. He seemed lost in an unfamiliar place, he looked confused as if the things that had happened were things someone else had experienced. He started in the direction of Zoro, walking slowly and not caring about the several pairs of eyes that were staring at him.  
  
"He looks so weird, what the hell happened?" Ace asked, his voice low enough for only Zoro to hear.  
  
Zoro's gaze was fixed on Sanji as he replied to his brother "That piece of shit was trying to touch him in places that he shouldn't even have thought of. And he just couldn't fight back." he explained simply.  
  
"That fucking pervert..." Ace growled under his breath, "I'll see if Smoker needs me to go with him. And take care of your nose."  
  
"Go ahead," Zoro muttered, then brought a hand up to touch his nose. He had completely forgotten about it, but it didn't feel broken. He wiped off the blood that had run down his lips and chin with his sleeve, and watched Ace walk towards Smoker and the scumbag. Zoro really hoped he was going to be taken care of in the way he most deserved.  
  
Sanji stopped a few inches away from Zoro, his gaze a million miles away from there. Zoro was full of anger towards the man that had ruined their perfectly happy moment, they were supposed to celebrate.  
  
"Are you alright?" Zoro asked, his hands balled into fists to tame the urge to touch Sanji, to make him feel protected. He knew he was distraught, and touching him without his consent could have only made things worse.  
  
Sanji didn't say one word in answer, but he slowly brought his arms up to loop them around Zoro's neck. He burrowed his face in the crook of the drummer's shoulder and heaved out a shaky breath against his skin.  
  
"I wanna go home…" Sanji whimpered, his lips tickling the skin of Zoro's neck ever so slightly.  
  
Zoro wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist, as those words vibrated through his chest. He knew people were probably still watching them, but he couldn't really care. He pressed his lips to Sanji's cheekbone, then rubbed slow, soothing circles into Sanji's back. He would have definitely wanted to still enjoy the rest of their night at the venue, but it was time for Sanji to rest.  
  
"I'll take you home. But first let's get outta here for a while, yeah?" Zoro spoke softly into Sanji's ear.  
  
Zoro felt Sanji nod in response, then watched as he pulled back to catch his lips in a chaste and gentle kiss.  
  
"You can't drive, I always forget about it." Sanji teased him, but with a very soft smile just barely curling his lips.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes and shook his head "Shut up. I'll have to get my brothers, or someone else."  
  
"Alright." Sanji gave a curt nod, and Zoro pecked his lips one last time before taking his hand to guide him through the crowd and towards the exit.  
  
No one tried to stop them for photos, nor for any other kind of interaction. Zoro truly hoped he hadn't scared their fans off, but on the other hand he was glad no one tried to bother them on their way out.  
  
Once they were outside, Zoro watched Sanji breathe in the cool air and let his eyelids fall shut. He looked like he was trying to regenerate himself, and that definitely made Zoro feel better.  
  
"Asshole, you broke my fucking nose!"  
  
Zoro couldn't believe it. He slowly turned to look at the voice that had just barked at him and found Smoker and Ace holding back the handcuffed piece of shit. Zoro felt Sanji tense by his side, so he wrapped an arm around his shoulders to make him feel protected.  
  
"You aren't really helping your case, pal." Smoker commented in a monotone. He pushed his cellphone into the pocket of his jacket and jerked his chin in the direction of Sanji. "I'm gonna need your deposition, but you can do that tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, I just wanna go to bed, now." Sanji said in a hushed tone.  
  
"Yeah, so that freak standing beside you can fuck you just the right way!" the scumbag went on.  
  
"Wash your mouth before you speak about him." Sanji sneered between gritted teeth.  
  
Zoro squeezed his shoulder to let him know that it was okay. He didn't need to defend him. Zoro knew that guy was completely insane, he couldn't take any offense from demented insults.  
  
"I told you to watch that damn mouth, Bellamy." Smoker grumbled.  
  
_Bellamy_. That was a name he definitely wasn't going to forget.  
  
"Now I know why my brother broke your nose," Ace commented "he should have done worse, though."  
  
Bellamy spat into Ace's face, and Smoker punched him so hard on the back of his neck that he fell to his knees.  
  
"Take him away from me or I'll slaughter him." Ace growled as he wiped spit off his face.  
  
Just as Ace uttered those words, a police car siren howled as it approached in great haste. They were probably the backup that Smoker had called with his cellphone.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll lock him up." Smoker nodded and pulled Bellamy back up to his feet as soon as the car stopped.  
  
"Do you need me to go with you?" Ace asked.  
  
"No, just go home. I'll call you." Smoker saluted the officers and watched as they slammed Bellamy in the back of the car.  
  
"I could testify?" Ace went on.  
  
In another moment Zoro would have probably laughed at his brother's insistence. He clearly also wanted to spend more time with his boyfriend, that's why he was pushing.  
  
"Alright. My car is that way." Smoker pointed at the packed parking lot, then looked at Zoro and Sanji "Night guys."  
  
"Night, and thank you." Zoro gave a curt nod.  
  
Sanji didn't say anything, he just waved. The screeching of the police car tyres on the concrete and the siren going off again, made him flinch in surprise.  
  
Ace walked up to them, a frown curving his lips downwards. "I'm sorry about everything, we were supposed to celebrate."  
  
"We can still do that," Zoro nodded "just some other time."  
  
"You alright, Sanji?" Ace asked, concern lacing his words  
  
"Yeah, don't worry." Sanji nodded with a small smile.  
  
"Give these to Usopp," Ace threw his car keys to Zoro "he can drive y'all back."  
  
Zoro caught the keys "Sure. Thanks."  
  
Ace raised his hand in goodbye, then jogged towards Smoker's car, himself.  
  
"Guess we'll have to find Usopp." Zoro sighed.  
  
"Hopefully your lil bro didn't get him too drunk." Sanji commented.  
  
"Shit…" Zoro sighed.  


 

 

 

* * * 

 

 

 

It took Sanji and Zoro approximately an hour to actually find Usopp and Luffy. Going back inside the venue proved difficult, since people had sneaked outside to take photos with them and ask Zoro all kinds of questions.  
  
Was he alright? Where had he been? Was he going to go back to Murder Of Crows? Did they really see him kiss Sanji? Were they dating, now?  
  
Zoro was sort of prepared to be bombarded with all those inquiries, but all he wanted to do was get Sanji home and let him rest. Still, fans were valuable and important, and Sanji didn't seem to be too irritated by them, they both took photos and chatted with everyone a bit.  
  
Everyone was in the backstage, eating the rest of the food that had been offered to them by the Punk Hazard staff. Luffy was wolfing down a humongous portion of french fries while Usopp and Chopper gaped at him in concern. They were probably wondering if he was ever going to explode or just slip into a comatose state. Nami, Vivi and Robin were all sipping red wine while Franky told them one of his terrible jokes – he was definitely failing to make the ladies laugh as they stared at him unimpressed. Poor guy. Sabo and Barto… Well, those two were still M.I.A.  
  
"Zoro!" Luffy suddenly shouted, spitting out half a french fry when his eyes settled on his brother. "Where the hell have y'all been? Where's Ace?"  
  
Everyone was startled by such loud reaction, but were suddenly drawn to look at Sanji and Zoro, standing awkwardly a few feet away from them.  
  
"Uh… Something happened and Smoker had to go to the police station. Ace went with him." Zoro explained with a shrug.  
  
"What? Why?" Luffy asked, his eyebrows drew together.  
  
"Did it happen here or…?" Nami asked, her eyes wandering from Zoro to Sanji.  
  
Zoro noticed that Sanji's gaze lowered as soon as Nami looked at him. Did she know something he didn't?  
  
"No, no. Nothing happened here." Zoro lied through his teeth, only to ease off Sanji's tension.  
  
"Why is there a bruise forming around your nose, Zoro?" Robin inquired.  
  
Well, crap. Why did everyone have to be so curious and observing?  
  
"Did you get into a fight? Without me?" Luffy asked, clearly disappointed about not having been able to join in.  
  
"Guys, we just came to tell you that we wanna go home," Sanji cut right to the point "Ace left us his car keys. You gotta drive, Usopp."  
  
Sanji snatched the keys out of Zoro's pocket and tossed them to Usopp who promptly caught them before they could land onto Luffy's fries.  
  
"Alright…" Usopp nodded, but as he was about to stand up his boyfriend held him down with a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"But we don't know where Sabo is!" Luffy weakly protested.  
  
"Yeah, I know where he is." Nami commented, triggering snorts and giggles from Vivi, Robin and Franky.  
  
"He's got his bike, anyway." Zoro shrugged.  
  
"I should get going, too," Chopper rubbed his hands together to get salt and oil off of them "I got a morning shift at the hospital."  
  
"Will you be alright on your own?" Zoro asked. He had almost forgotten about Chopper having to drive back home alone.  
  
"Of course I will! And your concern definitely doesn't make me happy, you asshole!" Chopper squealed in a merry tone that earned him quite a few weirded out stares.  
  
Zoro had started to get used to that odd behavior of his, so he just smirked and rolled his eyes "Alright then."  
  
"So where the hell is your cousin?" Sanji asked.  
  
"If you listen very closely you can hear Bartolomeo's moans from the toilets." Franky replied only to make Nami and Vivi burst out laughing.  
  
"What th–" Sanji growled, a disgusted expression warping his features.  
  
Zoro couldn't believe what he was hearing at first, even if he should have definitely known. He wasn't exactly jealous, but knowing how obsessed with him Bartolomeo had always been, it felt kind of odd to know that he was hooking up with Sabo.  
  
"Guys, there's more important matters we should be discussing." Robin chimed in before setting the half empty glass on the coffee table in front of her.  
  
"Oh, that's right!" Nami raised her eyebrows, then stared up at Zoro.  
  
"What?" Zoro scowled, then looked for Sanji in search of an answer or reaction to Robin's words.  
  
Sanji looked sort of bewildered, his eyebrows shot up just like Nami's, but then his front teeth sunk into his bottom lip as if he was keeping his excitement at bay.  
  
"Yes, of course I'm coming back to the band. I heard this question only twenty times, tonight." Zoro spoke way ahead of everyone, absolutely certain as to what the topic of the discussion was going to be.  
  
"That wasn't even an option, I would have shot you if you didn't." Sanji huffed.  
  
Now he was back to being puzzled. His eyebrows knitted together impossibly close as he scanned the room to see a bunch of oddly excited faces.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Zoro growled. He was already starting to get annoyed.  
  
"I actually work for Baroque Records," Robin started, and Zoro's eyes immediately flew to her "the others have recently discovered this too. But what's really important is that we want you to sign with us." she smiled, like she hadn't given Zoro some of the most important news of all times.  
  
"We did it, Marimo," Sanji's voice came to Zoro disembodied, as he kept staring at Robin, incredulous "we're gonna be pros!"

He was completely overwhelmed.  
  
Robin had just dropped a huge bomb like it was nothing.  
  
A positive bomb, an incredibly positive one, but it was still a bomb.  
  
He was sort of used to her personality by now, Zoro knew she could threaten to take someone's life with the sweetest smile stretching her lips, or being morbid and grotesque by keeping the most relaxed of tones. Yet he truly couldn't believe the calm she had used to reveal something so crucial and unexpected.  
  
"I think I'm getting a stroke or something." Zoro muttered, and everyone but Robin bursted out laughing.  
  
"That would be less than ideal, we wouldn't let the band sign with us, without you as part of it." Robin explained with the same calm tone from a few moments before.  
  
She was truly scary as hell, he wondered how Franky was still alive.  
  
"Oh…" was all Zoro could manage to utter.  
  
His brain had partially short circuited, he could only stare at Robin in complete disbelief. Zoro could feel everyone else's eyes burning his skin, boring into it, but he couldn't quite bring himself to add anything else to the conversation. He couldn't even hear the way in which Chopper was squealing at the exclusive news he had just heard.  
  
How could have Robin just omitted the small little detail that she worked for Baroque Records?  
  
He could have probably suspected it since she was friends with the guys from Freakshow, but he wasn't that much of a Sherlock Holmes type of guy. Also he was definitely the last one to know about that, Sanji had never mentioned this opportunity. Of course he wasn't blaming him or anything, Zoro was well aware he was the one who had dropped out of the band of his own will. Yet he did appreciate the fact that the record company wouldn't have taken in the band without him. That truly meant the world.  
  
"I think you broke the Marimo, Robin."  
  
Everyone laughed again, and Zoro seemed to finally jerk awake from that sort of daydream. He blinked a few times and turned his head to look at Sanji, who was still sporting the same soft, exhausted smile from a few minutes before. There was the most beautiful light shining in his big blue eyes, the same light from the first time they had kissed that night. Zoro felt the now familiar fluttering of butterfly wings in his stomach, and his lips slowly curled into a smile that twinned with Sanji's.  
  
"We did it…" Zoro gave a small nod. He was only now reprising Sanji's words from some seconds before, but the singer grinned nonetheless.  
  
"I guess we can sign, then." Sanji told Robin, and Zoro went back to look at the woman.  
  
"Mhm, I guess you can." Robin nodded, a knowing smirk replacing her usual small smile.  
  
Everyone started cheering and hugging each other. Luffy knocked over his french fries portion and didn't even seemed to care about it. Zoro didn't even realize that Sanji had jumped up on him until he felt his lips pressing hard against his cheek, and his arms and legs constricting him like a python.  
  
"I still can't believe this!" Sanji laughed as he tipped his head back.  
  
Zoro promptly looped his arms around Sanji's waist to support him, and got infected with Sanji's laughter. That's how he wanted to see the love of his life, happy and carefree, without anything or anyone threatening his sanity. He kissed Sanji's throat as soon as it was exposed, then shook his head at his words.  
  
"Neither can I!" Zoro admitted, a huge grin threatening to split his face in a half.  
  
"Oh my goodness, that's too much for my heart! They're too cute, look at them!" Vivi shrieked, making Zoro and Sanji stare at her in horror.  
  
"I still can't believe you finally got together, I've been shipping this for years." Franky confessed with a curt nod, making the others laugh.  
  
"Shipping this? Christ…" Zoro snorted and shook his head. He knew that his cheekbones and ears had flushed red, but couldn't do much to hide it.  
  
"You guys need to fucking stop!" Sanji faked a whine as he slid off of Zoro. He knew Sanji was probably enjoying every single moment of that, no matter his poor attempt at denying it.  
  
"I'm pretty sure even our parents have been waiting for this to happen since we were all kids." Luffy chimed in.  
  
"Stop it!" Zoro barked, his face felt like it had literally caught fire. "Let's just go home!"  
  
"Alright, alright!" Luffy huffed "You're no fun at all." he complained with a roll of his eyes, then stood up from the couch.  
  
"Wait a sec!" Nami almost shouted "When are we supposed to actually come sign the contract?"  
  
Nami was right. Thank goodness for her. Everyone turned to look at Robin, who had resumed sipping on her glass of red wine.  
  
"On Monday morning, I'll text you the details as soon as I speak to my boss." Robin informed them before refilling her glass with the almost empty bottle or Pinot that stood on the coffee table. She sighed at the sight of how little was left.  
  
"Alright, then," Sanji clapped his hands together "we can fuck off now."  
  
"Yes, let's." Zoro agreed, eyebrows shooting up as he nodded.  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  
After waving everyone goodbye, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy and Usopp managed to sneak out of the back door of Punk Hazard perfectly unnoticed by any fan. Coming down of the high of just a few moments before had left Sanji completely powerless, exhaustion didn't even begin to cover it.  
  
He still hadn't truly recovered from the encounter with Bellamy, yet at the same time he was having a hard time believing it had actually happened. That asshole had had the nerve to show up to another one of their concerts, and only with the intent of trying to fuck him. Again.  
  
Just thinking about it again made Sanji want to simultaneously cry and throw up. He didn't think he could have been so utterly terrified of Bellamy, last time he had been able to defend himself. Yet the more Bellamy threatened him, the more Sanji was reminded of the nightmares, of all the abuse he had endured but buried deep inside his mind.  
  
Sanji quietly climbed into the backseat of Ace's car, his mind still filled with ugly images, his heart still heavy with fear and disgust. If Zoro hadn't been there, Bellamy would have probably got what he wanted and Sanji couldn't have rebelled to him. He felt so disgusting in that moment, he could barely breathe.  
  
"You alright?" Zoro asked as soon as Luffy turned on the radio, and Usopp started up the car.  
  
Sanji didn't look at him but nodded.  
  
"Are you sure?" Zoro kept pressing.  
  
"Yeah…" Sanji sighed, then leaned his entire side against Zoro.  
  
He was too tired and traumatized to even be alive in that moment, he didn't want to discuss the details of what was going through his brain. Not in that particular moment at least. It was like he could still feel the rough palm of Bellamy's hand sliding across his thigh, the stench of his breath still ghosting over his face.  
  
Sanji felt Zoro's arm wrap around his shoulder, and for a moment he tensed up, his mind unable to tell the difference between Zoro and Bellamy. Then Zoro's lips pressed against his temple soft yet long, and his mind finally recognized the difference. Sanji closed his eyes and relaxed into his boyfriend's protective embrace.  
  
_His boyfriend_.  
  
Sanji still couldn't believe he could call Zoro that. It was so weird.  
  
"Does your nose hurt?" Sanji blurted out as the car backed up and pulled into the street.  
  
He immediately regretted asking and screwed his eyes shut as he mentally cursed himself. He didn't want to start that conversation. He was such an idiot.  
  
"It's a bit sore, but I'll live." Zoro answered, but didn't delve into any sort of third degree about Bellamy and what had went down just an hour or something ago.  
  
Sanji could barely believe that, but it was Zoro, after all and Zoro perfectly knew how to handle him. He was such an open book to the other man, it was insane, but also something that Sanji was incredibly grateful for.  
  
Sanji wrapped an arm around Zoro's torso, burrowing his face into his neck and inhaling his scent. He could have probably sat there, all curled up around Zoro forever. He would have been the happiest person on earth just doing that.  
  
Zoro's hand moved from Sanji's shoulder to his jaw and gently tugged on it so that Sanji would pull back and look into his eyes. Zoro stared at his lips for some seconds, then brushed his nose against Sanji's in the sweetest way ever before placing a soft kiss to Sanji's lips.  
  
Sanji didn't know whether he should have cried or kissed him back, but he opted to cup Zoro's cheek and part his lips as he tentatively pushed the tip of his tongue against Zoro's own lips. Zoro obliged and welcomed Sanji's tongue in his mouth right away with slow brushes from his own.  
  
Kissing Zoro was the most mesmerizing yet thrilling experience Sanji had ever had. It made him melt, it made him tremble like it was the first time he had ever kissed somebody. The truth was that Sanji had never kissed someone out of love, and kissing Zoro truly made him feel like he was doing it for the first time.  
  
Sanji pulled back, his vision slightly hazed as he sheepishly smiled at Zoro, who kissed the tip of his nose before Sanji had a chance to rest his head on Zoro's shoulder.  
  
"I got you." Zoro murmured, and a small, happy tear escaped Sanji's eye, right before he slipped into a brief yet comfortable slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is most likely to have at least two more chapters, I still haven't perfectly figured it out, yet.
> 
> Check out those amazing fanarts of SIO, too!
> 
> http://marisdrawings.tumblr.com/post/157103358645/zoro-and-sanji-from-my-friends-one-piece-rock
> 
> http://namstermonster.tumblr.com/post/156113301962/finally-its-been-a-while-since-the-last-sio
> 
> http://namstermonster.tumblr.com/post/151546882427/inktober2016-day8-this-sexy-drummer-dressed-up
> 
> http://namstermonster.tumblr.com/post/151327179802/we-continue-the-inktober-challenge-with-my
> 
> http://truedesireworks.tumblr.com/post/156750024836/fanart-for-helswriting-aka-marimoyaro-s-amazing
> 
> http://truedesireworks.tumblr.com/post/156750024836/fanart-for-helswriting-aka-marimoyaro-s-amazing#notes


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am! Finally giving you chapter 24 of this story, after so many months of not being able to write anything. I’ve been angry at myself for letting you all down and making you wait for so long, but I also feel so very lucky to have you guys as my readers. You’ve always been so supportive, patient and lovely, and I will never be able to thank you all enough for all the love you give me. I just hope you’re going to enjoy this chapter.  
> Once again, I’m very rarely on tumblr, so you might want to reach me on instagram at @cigsandbooze (drop me a message saying you’re a SIO reader if you follow me, because the profile is on private)   
> This being said, on with the show!

Darkness.

Quiet darkness.

A peaceful absence of light, color, of senses.

A small jump every now and then, and a feeble light filtered through thin slits, confused music played in the background before everything went back to black silence.

There was no dream, no nightmare that Sanji could sweat through, waking up with a voiceless scream and tears streaking his cheeks. He had been so completely exhausted that he didn't notice being lifted up and carried from the car all the way to Zoro's bedroom.

"W-where…?" Sanji muttered, his eyes cracking open into the dim light of Zoro's bedside lamp.

"It's my room, Cook…"

Sanji blinked and rubbed his fists against his eyes. He tried to locate the drummer in the room and found him by the foot of the bed as he stripped down to his boxers.

"Am I still dreaming?" Sanji furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Zoro's perfectly sculpted body showered in orange light.

"Nah." Zoro turned to look at him with a crooked smirk, then moved to sit beside Sanji.

Sanji's brain was still hazed by the slumber. There weren't many thoughts going through his mind, nor memories from just a couple hours before. Yet for some horrible reason, the moment in which Zoro moved to zip down Sanji's boots, he automatically flinched, retracting his legs so hard that he nearly toppled off the bed. Mindless panic pervaded him, his heart threatened to rip through his chest as he stared at an horrified Zoro.

"What th-" Zoro furrowed his brows as deeply as humanly possible "I wasn't gonna hurt you!"

Sanji could taste metal in his mouth, the taste of pure terror. His breath hitched in his throat as he stared at Zoro with wide eyes. His mind was all of a sudden alert and vigil, but his body still belonged in the realm of dreams. He could feel a soreness in his muscles, the tension in his nerves barely leaving his lungs enough room to expand.

How could he explain it? How could he tell Zoro the reason why his body had reacted so suddenly? So defensively. It had been automatic, the natural reaction of a traumatized being. The same way an abused dog would shrink back when an helping hand would come to their aid.

He felt so incredibly stupid and ashamed. Zoro could never harm him, he knew that very well, but in that moment of vulnerability his defenses had switched on instinctively.

After nights and nights of endless nightmares of being abused, harassed and taken advantage of, and after feeling Bellamy's hands around his throat and on his thighs, Sanji's body and mind were on edge. Ready to escape.

"I-I know… I-I just…" Sanji stumbled through his words, cheeks flushing red and a knot quickly forming in his throat.

Fuck. Why was he such a lost cause?

"Bellamy's not here, don't worry." Zoro's voice was warm and reassuring, yet Sanji's stomach started cramping.

"Shit…" Sanji muttered through gritted teeth.

It was so humiliating to feel the way he did. Why would his body retract at Zoro's touch, yet freeze when Bellamy's dirty fingers pressed against his skin?

If he closed his eyes he could live it all over again, worse than any replay. He could smell Bellamy's breath, a pungent mixture of beer and tobacco, how cold and rough his palms felt against his bare throat and thighs.

He would have wanted to plant his foot square into his ugly mug with all his strength, but his body had refused to cooperate. It was almost as if he had unwillingly resigned to his faith. He was a whore, someone to be used, misused, abused and thrown away. Nothing more, nothing less. A still doll to Bellamy's petty revenge. To anyone else's will.

"Sanji, you're scaring me."

For how long had he been silently glaring at his lap? By that point Sanji really thought sanity was no longer part of him.

"I'm so sorry…" Sanji whispered, his eyelids fluttering shut as he pressed both hands against his face.

He had dreamed of that moment for so long, he had longed to feel Zoro's lips against his own, his hands on his skin, his arms around his body, and now… Now his mind was betraying him in the worst possible way.

"There's no reason."

Sanji's head snapped in Zoro's direction. A severe expression painted the drummer's features, and a chill ran though Sanji's spine.

"Are you pissed?" Sanji tentatively asked. He was so scared of ruining everything just for being stupid.

Zoro's eyebrow jolted up "What?" he shook his head "Why should I?"

"'Cause I'm a fuckin' idiot?" Sanji huffed, then slowly got to removing his platforms.

"Hey, look at me." Zoro called out.

Sanji tensed up, his fingers still working on the zipper as he turned to look at Zoro.

"You're not an idiot." Zoro slowly shook his head, as to make his point even clearer.

"I am…" Sanji insisted as he finally managed to kick off his boots.

"You're traumatized." Zoro continued.

"I brought it onto myself." Sanji retorted right away.

"Fuck off!" Zoro suddenly bursted, and Sanji widened his eyes at him "Don't you dare saying that kinda shit!"

Sanji's bottom lip worried between his teeth. Zoro's reaction had been harsh, and he should have expected it. Sanji's natural retort would have been to click his tongue and insist on the fact, reminding his boyfriend that he had called him a whore too, once. Yet he managed to hold his tongue, physically biting down on it. That would have been the stupidest move he could have made, especially that particular night.

An awkward, heavy silence settled over the two. Sanji was fairly sure he'd ruined the entire night, as he watched Zoro shuffle back and fumble with the covers until he managed to tug them down to tuck himself in.

"Come here?" Zoro arched an eyebrow as he settled on his side of the bed, his left arm moving to settle between the back of his head and the pillow.

Sanji wanted to melt right against Zoro's body, underneath the weight of one of his arms and the warm comforter. Yet he was still feeling like an idiot, he shouldn't have said the things he had, and he was really scared to have ruined the moment.

"Only if you aren't mad at me." Sanji finally allowed himself to utter. He knew Zoro didn't exactly look like it, but how could Sanji be sure?

Zoro rolled his eyes "I ain't," he sighed "I just hate when you say stupid things about you."

Sanji began to unbutton his jeans, his eyes wandering around the room just to avoid Zoro's gaze "I can't help it…" he tugged them off, then grabbed the hem of his hoodie and t-shirt to tear them off simultaneously.

"I'm the only one who can insult you."

Sanji whipped his head back in Zoro's direction, only to find the drummer staring at him with a smug smirk spread on his lips. It wasn't exactly false, after all they always spent the majority of their time throwing insults at each other.

"So you can call me a whore?" Sanji asked, an half shaved off eyebrow quirking right before his face was momentarily hidden by the clothing he was removing.

"Don't be an idiot," Zoro grumbled "anything but that. And you know it."

He still could remember perfectly the time in which Zoro actually did accuse him of being a slut, but he also remembered how much he had apologized to him. Apart from that one time, though, Zoro had never called him any of those slurs. Only the entire rest of curse words known in the English language. A mutual thing.

"I know…" Sanji spoke softly, then tossed his hoodie and shirt over the back of a chair, and on top of his jeans. While he did so, Sanji saw Zoro standing up to go rummage through his drawers.

There was still a bandage wrapped around Zoro's bicep, definitely the wound that the young doctor had been referring to earlier. Sanji furrowed his eyebrows upon seeing the white cotton band, he had completely forgotten about it. He wondered how deep it had been and how much it had hurt, but he was also sure that Zoro probably hadn't even felt more than a slight burn. Sanji was just about to open his mouth to inquire about it, but the drummer was quicker to speak.

"Here…" Zoro said as he threw a t-shirt at him. Sanji promptly caught it and unfolded it to take a look at it.

It was Zoro's favorite Avenged Sevenfold shirt. An old and slightly torn one. It was plain black, with the deathbat printed on the front and the name of the band surrounding it. It was so old that the black had started fading to a dark shade of blueish grey, but Sanji knew how much Zoro loved it and couldn't help but bite his lower lip as a warm smile curved his mouth.

"What? You want another one?" Zoro asked, sounding slightly disappointed, too.

Sanji looked at him from over the shirt and shook his head "No, no. It's fine…" he brought it closer to his face to examine it "It stinks like you, too." he smirked.

"I never washed it, that'd be why." Zoro replied as he sat back down, ready to slide under the covers again.

"Ewwww!" Sanji whined as he whipped Zoro with the t-shirt.

"I'm kidding!" Zoro laughed as he blocked the stroke with his arm, protecting his face.

Sanji laughed as well, obviously aware of the joke, he shook his head and finally pulled on the t-shirt. No matter what had happened in the several hours prior to that very moment, from the aggression to being irrationally scared of Zoro's touch, Sanji was now finally feeling safe. He was with the man he loved, on the bed they had shared countless times, wearing one of his shirts.

"I missed you so much…" Sanji admitted in a small voice, golden bangs falling over one of his eyes.

The warmest smile spread on Zoro's lips "Missed you, too… Stupid cook…"

Sanji rolled his eyes, a smirk still playing on his mouth.

"C'mhere…" Zoro gently tugged on the short sleeve of Sanji's shirt, pulling him in to lay close to him.

Sanji didn't put up any sort of fight and shuffled underneath the covers, curling up against Zoro and burrowing his face into the crook of his neck. He heard the soft noise of Zoro switching the light off, then felt Zoro's arms loop around him. A smile spread on the blond's lips, and he thought that he had probably never felt that happy in his entire existence.

Sanji splayed one of his hands flat over Zoro's bare chest. He could feel the beat of his heart thud against his palm, and that little feeling made him smile even harder. He didn't have to question anymore what was real and what wasn't, even if he still couldn't quite believe that he was snuggled up to Zoro, that thumping made everything feel very real.

Suddenly a thought ran through his mind, he had seen Zoro's nose bruise throughout the latest hour, yet he had been either too busy sleeping or freaking out to actually check on it. Sanji ran his tongue between his lips, then let out a small breath before speaking.

"How's the nose?"

Zoro hummed, a small shrug serving as a prelude to his answer "I've had worse. It doesn't really feel broken."

"You sure?" Sanji went on, he looked at Zoro's nose in the darkness, even if he couldn't see it. Bellamy had headbutted him pretty hard.

"Yes, I'm sure." Zoro said in a patient, almost sort of yielding tone.

"Shouldn't you get, uh…" Sanji stopped to furrow his eyebrows as he tried to recall the name of the kid from earlier that night "Cha-… Chopper? To, uh… Check it?"

Zoro let out a drawn out sigh, but a small laugh followed right after "Would it make you feel less worried if I did?"

"Definitely, yeah." Sanji was truly worried, and also felt guilty for what had happened. After all, Zoro had gotten injured because he was protecting him.

"Then I will." Zoro assured him, then turned his head just slightly enough for him to press his lips against Sanji's forehead.

"Good." Sanji's eyelids fell shut, and a content little smile curled his lips as soon as Zoro kissed his forehead.

Lying alone in the darkness had been terrifying for Sanji for the past few days. He wasn't afraid of monsters or burglars lurking in the shadows, he was scared of the horror inside his head. Ghouls and ghosts could never be as creepy and terrifying as the humans who had put Sanji through hell.

Lying in the comfortable darkness of Zoro's room, on that small, hard mattress, underneath the comforter and being curled up against Zoro's warm body… It made Sanji feel invincible. Nothing and no one could hurt him there, even the nightmares felt light years away from him. The sound of Zoro's relaxed breathing, of his heartbeat, the few cars speeding by, everything was like a lullaby to Sanji.

"You'd already met him, hadn't you?" Zoro's words broke the peaceful quiet of the room. The phrase weighting like a ton of bricks being unloaded all over Sanji's body.

And to think that he had been convinced Zoro had fallen asleep, already.

Cold suddenly pervaded his body, a sharp pain made his hand fly up to clutch his stomach. He couldn't have wriggled out of this one, couldn't have kept running away from reality, from his past. No matter how great the shame, he couldn't keep doing this alone, couldn't keep Zoro in the dark any longer. Pushing the man he loved away, once again… He couldn't do that anymore.

"Yeah…" Sanji sighed, his eyes wandering around the unlit room, as if that would have made things easier.

Zoro was awfully quiet, and Sanji couldn't help but shift and squirm uncomfortably against the drummer's body. That silence was killing him like the most sadistic murderer, with several, slow stabs to his chest and abdomen.

"I shouldn't have left you." Zoro grumbled, finally.

Sanji's eyebrows shot up, nearly disappearing into his hairline.

"W-what….?" the singer couldn't quite wrap his head around that statement. Or at least why he'd say that after what Sanji had just said.

"I shouldn't have abandoned you, I've always been around. Even just to, you know... Listen to your problems." Zoro went on.

Sanji braced himself on the mattress, using his left elbow as a support as he looked down at Zoro's face in the dark. He couldn't believe he was actually saying that, after everything that had happened, Zoro could still only think about Sanji's safety instead of his own.

"Look… You went away, yes. But… I can't fully blame you." Sanji started, and watched as Zoro shifted slightly backwards to mirror his pose. He couldn't keep lying to himself, nor to Zoro, and everything that had been running through his head for all that time was pushing and pushing against the ruptured dam of Sanji's mind "I wasn't a victim in all this, I did my part. I treated you like shit more than it was acceptable, and instead of talking to you and telling you about how fucking jealous of that Bartolomonster I was, I just... I fucked your brother."

Sanji didn't think he would have been capable of vomiting all of that, he never thought he could have been able to admit everything out loud… But if Zoro could push all the crap aside and confess his love for him, then Sanji could do the same and come clean about his own issues.

Zoro was completely still and quiet, all of his muscles had tensed up and Sanji had a feeling he had stopped breathing, too. The singer sat up, then turned briefly to feel around and find the switch of the other bedside lamp. He needed to look Zoro in the eye, he couldn't keep doing this with the lights turned off.

When he flicked on the switch and turned back to look at Zoro he found him staring up at him with his lips pressed tightly together and his hands balled into fists. Sanji swallowed thickly and shifted slightly in his seat, just to regain his confidence and composure.

"I'm sorry, for everything that I've done…" Sanji shook his head "For being an asshole, for stepping all over you and pushing you away. You've always been my person… You've always been the one I loved, but couldn't see it." he shrugged a shoulder as he kept speaking, not even noticing the way in which his own voice trembled and how tears were welling up in his eyes.

"Sanji…" Zoro's eyebrows drew together and his nostrils flared.

"I… I've been scared of losing you for so long, yet I kept doing everything I could to keep you at a distance. To not-" Sanji furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to give sense to his words "I was so scared of ending up like my father, I just-!" his voice died in his throat, drowned by a sob.

"It's enough, cook. It's enough…" Zoro said as he got up on his knees and cupped Sanji's cheeks with both hands "I know…" he briefly hunched his shoulders as he continued "I've always known."

"There's…" Sanji attempted to speak as another sob broke his voice "There's so much I've done, that you don't know… Things I-I couldn't even r-remember." he shut his eyes, allowing tears to flow past his eyelashes.

Zoro's thumbs promptly wiped them away, and the gentle grip on his cheeks became somewhat firmer "What do you mean? What other things?" he asked, a hint of worry in his tone.

Sanji shook his head "Bellamy… Is just one of many." he blinked his eyes open again, inhaling a sharp breath as he looked at the horror warping Zoro's features.

"What are you-?"

"I haven't slept since the first time I met Bellamy," Sanji sniffled, then tried to wipe his own nose with the back of his hand "I see things, the moment I close my eyes… Things I thought were just nightmares."

Zoro's hands slowly fell from Sanji's face to his shoulders, his jaw was slacked, the look on his eyes was that of a desperate man who couldn't stop the tidal wave that was about to engulf him.

"I was young, Zoro… And naive." Sanji went on "Older guys wanted me to do things I wasn't comfortable with, and… I thought I was just… Not daring enough?"

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?!" Zoro almost shouted out.

"Don't yell!" Sanji placed a hand over Zoro's mouth "What was I supposed to tell you? I was embarrassed! I was… Figuring out my sexuality, I thought it was normal."

Saying all of those things out loud was like removing a massive boulder off of his chest, even if it had probably rolled right onto Zoro's.

"I just…" Zoro opened his mouth only to shut it again, clearly overwhelmed by Sanji's words.

"I'm sorry, Zoro… I'm sorry I dumped all of this on you." Sanji shook his head, and ran a hand through his hair. Only now realizing that if he hadn't ruined the night earlier, he had certainly done it now.

"It's alright… I wanted to know. I didn't think it was so bad, and I kind of-" Zoro scrunched his face as he searched for his words "I feel like shit for never noticing."

Sanji rolled his eyes and shook his head "You're unbelievable."

"What?"

"You can still find a way to blame yourself." Sanji sighed.

"Well, I was your best friend, wasn't I?" Zoro retorted.

"I was the one keeping it from you. I would have never wanted you to find out." Sanji wiped the rest of his tears away with unsteady hands "Stop thinking you did everything wrong."

"I still would have really liked to fuck up the faces of those bastards, the way I did with Bellamy tonight. You're a person, not a fuck doll." Zoro growled out, looking away from Sanji as he gritted his teeth together.

"You can't go around murdering people who think I'm a fuck doll, anyway." Sanji said as he placed his hand over the fist in Zoro's lap.

"They'd deserve it." Zoro kept on, as he looked back at Sanji, his fist loosening to take Sanji's hand into it.

"I can't believe I nearly lost you forever." Sanji commented softly, as Zoro's murderous desires brought a tiny smile to his lips.

"Good thing I stopped being a stubborn fuck." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, and in that moment Sanji wrapped his arms around his neck to plant a kiss to his lips.

Sanji felt Zoro's arms moving to snake around his waist as he was pulled into Zoro's lap. The kiss deepened naturally, as Sanji tipped his head to the left to gain more access to Zoro's mouth. All the awful feelings from a few moments before were gone, erased from the warmth irradiated from Zoro's body, and the taste of his kiss. When did the mossbrain brush his teeth, anyway? He certainly wasn't going to break that perfect moment by asking, but Zoro himself, did.

"Ow, ow, shit…" Zoro whined as he pulled back and held his nose with both hands.

"See? You need to get it checked." Sanji groaned as he curled his lips, watching his boyfriend squeeze his eyes shut.

"Mihawk can fix this. He knows how." Zoro said in a nasal voice, eyes still screwed shut.

"Mihawk is no doctor, babe." Sanji rolled his eyes.

"What did you call me?" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, the nasal voice forgotten as he stopped feeling his nose to stare at the singer.

Sanji blinked several times, not fully realizing what had just happened, nor why Zoro was gawking at him like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Huh? What-?"

"You just called me _babe_ …" Zoro snorted, then muttered out a long string of curses, when the harsh breath made his nose hurt worse.

"I did?" Sanji arched an eyebrow. He hadn't even really noticed it slipping, it had felt so natural that he couldn't see the reason why Zoro would make such a big deal out of it. Or maybe he did, but he didn't care. "So what? Aren't you my babe, now?" a mischievous grin quickly spread on his lips.

"My nose can't take this, at the moment. Have mercy." Zoro closed his eyes, clearly trying his hardest to suppress the laugh that would probably make him pass out from pain.

"What a weakling." Sanji commented as he pressed a kiss to Zoro's forehead, avoiding the lips in order to spare him any further nose pain.

"Fuck off…" Zoro grumbled as he watched Sanji sliding off of him.

"Let's sleep, and tomorrow Mihawk can chop off your nose." Sanji said as he took Zoro's hand and tugged on it to make him lie back under the covers with him.

"He'd totally do that." Zoro sighed and slid back underneath the covers.

Sanji wrapped himself tight around Zoro's figure, relishing the contact with his warm skin and firm muscles "Don't worry, big boy. I'll protect you." he purred against Zoro's neck.

"Goodness… You'll just get me killed." Zoro whined in a shaky breath, making Sanji burst into a cackling fit.

He knew that Zoro was probably referring to more than just unleashing Mihawk's rage, especially by the way in which Zoro's crotch area had grown harder against the leg that Sanji had thrown over him. A smirk of pride curled Sanji's lips, even as he finally drifted off to sleep.

His chest felt so incredibly lighter, his mind almost hollow as he felt Zoro's lips press against his forehead one last time. So much had happened in just one night, probably a week worth of events all crammed up in the space of a handful of hours. Yet Sanji had let go of so much fear and pain, that he could have probably started floating in the air. He felt at peace, he felt like he was finally where he belonged, he felt mended, he felt blissful.

Perhaps the nightmares weren't going to reach him, that time.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

An incessant growling resonated in the back of Sanji's head. Or was it the sound of the room shaking all around him?

The blond woke up abruptly from his dreamless sleep, startled by the sudden noise. His breath itched in his throat, his heart pounding furiously as he sat up and frantically gazed around the room. He was mildly disoriented, but he could still remember he was in Zoro's room, especially since the drummer was snoring at his left.

Once his senses were almost completely back to their normal function, Sanji finally figured out what had startled him awake like that.

His fucking phone, vibrating angrily on the bedside table.

Sanji groaned, rolling his eyes at the offending object and nearly flopping back onto the mattress when his father's name flashed on the screen of his phone.

Shit.

He hadn't said anything to Zeff.

Hadn't told him that he wouldn't have gone back home.

_SHIT!_

Sanji reached for his phone so quickly that he knocked it off of the nightstand "Fuck!" he murmured as he stretched towards the floor to pick up the cell and read the two digits number of calls he hadn't picked up. All from his father.

He threw Zoro a quick glance, making sure that he was still sound asleep. He actually looked dead, in that moment, so Sanji checked if he was still breathing by placing his hand underneath his nostrils. Yeah, he was still alive.

Sanji stood up, trying to make as less noise as he could, then cautiously opened the door, hoping to everything sacred that it wouldn't creak like a motherfucker and wake the entire household up. He didn't even know what was the time, he'd been more concerned about the number of times Zeff had tried to reach out to him.

10:03, on a Saturday. Perhaps Mihawk and Shanks were still in bed, and he didn't risk running into either one of them alone. He definitely wasn't looking forward to that, because he had absolutely no idea what Zoro and his brothers could have told them. Sanji could have been killed a lot more easily than Zoro.

He quickly scanned the corridor, then tiptoed to the bathroom. He had to walk to the opposite end of the hallway, and it felt miles away. His bare feet didn't make that much of a noise on the parquet, and for extra precaution he also held his breath until he was safe inside the bathroom. Sanji locked the door behind him, then rested against it, finally heaving out a relieved breath.

Sanji looked back down at the phone and tapped the call button on Zeff's number. He screwed his eyes shut even before he heard his father's voice, knowing all too well that he was going to be yelled at.

"What the fuck, you idiot?! I was gonna call the fucking police!"

Yep. He was shouting.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I should have told you I wasn't gonna come home, last night!" Sanji sighed, trying to keep his voice down.

"You were supposed to come into work, too! I was worried sick!"

Sanji scrunched his face and pulled the phone away from his ear, fearing that his father's voice could pierce his eardrum.

"Dad, would you stop fucking yelling?!" Sanji groaned, rolling his eyes.

"I'll fucking scream your stupid ears off, you shitty Eggplant! You weren't murdered, so I'll just kill you myself!"

Sanji sighed, yet he couldn't help but crack a small smile and shake his head at his father's words. Harsh, yes, but that was his way of showing that he cared.

"I'm at Zoro's." Sanji said in a quiet tone, then tucked his bottom lip between his teeth.

There was a long pause, Sanji knew that Zeff was probably processing the information he'd just received. Sanji could imagine the look of surprise on his face, the creases of his brow and the line between his eyebrows suddenly softening as his expression relaxed.

"Oh…" Zeff finally managed "Well… You can take the day off, I guess." he muttered in a grumpy, but clearly loving way.

The smile on Sanji's face blossomed into a grin "Yeah, that'd be nice…"

"You're working two shifts tomorrow."

"No, no!" Sanji suddenly remembered about the date they were supposed to go on, and Sanji couldn't boycott his own slice of heaven like that "I'm… Busy, sort of. Tomorrow…"

"Well, you got a job, Sanji, you can't-" Zeff tried to protest, but was promptly cut off.

"I'll work today's dinner shift, yeah? And I'll take morning and lunch, tomorrow!" Sanji tried to bargain. He waited for an answer with his lower lip still worried between his teeth.

"Okay, that sounds fair…" Zeff agreed to the proposition "But I'll make you work your ass off." he added, so that he wouldn't sound too accommodating.

"That's alright…" Sanji nodded. The warmth in his chest from the night before slowly making its way back.

"You still should have told me." Zeff repeated.

"Yes, I'm sorry, dad. I should have." Sanji ran his fingers lazily through his hair, eyelids falling shut as he rested his head back against the door.

"Well… I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later." another content sigh left Sanji's lips as he heard the beep of the call being ended, then he moved the phone away from his ear.

He stayed still against the door for a few more minutes, staring down at the floor, a blissful smirk still playing on his lips. Zeff was happy for him, even if it wouldn't have sounded like it to most people. Sanji knew it, especially after the talk about love that Zeff had given to him. His father was probably smiling just like Sanji was, with a mug of coffee in his hand and a crumpled newspaper sitting on the table right before him.

Sanji checked the time again, it was almost 11 and he could have definitely used at least one extra hour of sleep, especially in Zoro's bed. Since he was still in the bathroom, Sanji decided to quickly use the toilet before cautiously unlocking the door, and pad his way back to Zoro's room. He could hear some noises coming from one of the four rooms, yet he couldn't tell which one it was exactly, so he ridiculously started running with his heart in his throat, and nearly tripped inside the room in the exact moment in which Shanks and Mihawk's door cracked open.

"Fuck, that was close." Sanji hissed as he bent over, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Zoro grumbled as he lifted his head to look at him with only one eye open.

Sanji perked up and blinked a few times "Uhh… Nothing?"

Zoro grunted, then face planted into the pillow again "Get back here."

Sanji was starting to feel even more like an idiot, but he thanked the stars for blessing him with an equally stupid boyfriend, who'd rather sleep until past noon than ask more questions. He crawled back under the covers, and Zoro immediately wrapped one of his arms around Sanji's mid section and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Are you alright?" Zoro hummed as he burrowed his face into the crook of Sanji's neck, making him shiver.

"Yeah, I just had to pee." Sanji explained as his fingers absentmindedly went up to card and twirl through green strands of hair. "I nearly ran into your parents."

Zoro snorted "This would explain why your heart is beating so damn fast."

"Oh my God…" Sanji screwed his eyes shut as he let out a laugh "Is it loud?"

"Yeah, sorta…" Zoro sniggered as he looked back at Sanji, eyes nearly shut as a dopey smirk curled his lips "That would be the first time you're actually shy to meet them."

Sanji rolled his eyes "I liked you better when you snored."

Zoro raised his eyebrows "Then you'll like me better pretty soon." he said as he tightened his grip on Sanji's body, yawning against his shoulder.

"You dumbass." Sanji muttered as he felt his ribcage nearly crashing underneath the pressure of Zoro's arms.

"Hmm… I don't know if I'm more hungry or sleepy." Zoro said, unable to bite back another yawn.

Sanji yawned himself, infected by his boyfriend "I could make you some breakfast, if you wanna." he began to trace random patterns over Zoro's bare shoulder. Circles and swirls, and maybe a few little hearts, feeling Zoro shiver ever so slightly underneath his fingertips.

"Fuck, I miss your cooking!" Zoro groaned as he swept a hand across Sanji's hip and moving to grip his shirt on the small of his back.

Sanji felt a fluttering in his chest, not really expecting that kind of response. He knew Zoro liked his cooking, it was clear as day, yet he never usually complimented it out loud. He wasn't as vocal as his brothers about it.

"How couldn't you?" Sanji smirked, softly scratching at the sensitive skin on Zoro's neck "Shanks is a decent cook, but he'll never compare to me."

Zoro hummed at the feeling of Sanji's nails on his neck, a grin playing on his lips "Don't let him hear you." he sniggered as he ducked his head to plant a soft bite on Sanji's neck.

The blond moaned louder than he intended, the bite sending electricity jolting through his entire body. He definitely didn't expect that.

"Shh! I said don't let him hear you!" Zoro laughed, pulling back to look at Sanji.

"You're a shitty bastard!" Sanji whined. His cheeks were starting to feel a little too warm for his taste, so he made sure to burrow his face into the crook of Zoro's neck.

"What are you gonna cook m-… Oh shit!" Zoro moaned, suddenly feeling Sanji's mouth wrapping around the skin where neck and shoulder meet.

Lips and tongue sucking and flicking at the flesh until Sanji was satisfied with his work. Sanji pulled back with a pop, then admired the purple patch of abused flesh with a mischievous grin.

"You fucker…" Zoro breathed out as his fingers brushed against the saliva covered area.

"You didn't like it?" Sanji asked, eyebrows raised and an almost angelic expression on his face.

"Fuck off." Zoro growled as he pushed Sanji into the mattress and kissed the air out of his lungs.

Sanji laughed softly into Zoro's mouth, wrapping both his arms around his neck and pulling him even closer. He parted his lips to welcome Zoro's tongue inside, piercings clicking togerher, Sanji's head tipping slightly to the side as their tongues brushed together and Zoro rolled his hips into his.

Sanji wanted him. He wanted him desperately. Especially as Zoro shifted his entire body over Sanji, elbows resting at each side of Sanji's head, and knees at each sides of his hips. Sanji nearly cried out into Zoro's mouth, biting the drummer's bottom lip and desperately sucking on it.

"I thought you wanted to cook for me…" Zoro blurted out, eyes hazed by desire as he stared at Sanji.

"Shit…" Sanji sucked in a shaky breath as he let his head fall against the pillow again. He scrubbed a hand down his face, eyes screwed shut as he tried to regain his composure. "Yeah…" he swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the way in which Zoro's bulge was pressing down against his own erection. "And you're supposed to take me out to dinner, right?" he managed to say, opening his eyes and cracking a smirk.

Holy shit, why did Zoro have to be such a good kisser? Wasn't he some sort of a virgin? Sanji didn't recall anything that Zoro had told him about kissing other guys, or practicing in any way. He must have been a natural… Born killer. Yes, because Sanji was on the verge of a stroke.

Of course he wanted all of that to happen, but not in that moment. Not when Zoro's family could have blatantly heard them, or worst… Opened the door to check on Zoro and find them going at it. No way, Sanji wanted none of that.

Zoro groaned, resting his forehead against Sanji's chin as he let out a small laugh. "You're right," Zoro said before pulling back to look at Sanji in the eye "you deserve to go on a date."

The sincerity shining in Zoro's eyes, the low tone of voice, the way in which he was smiling down at him nearly made Sanji combust. His entire face flushed in the deepest shade of red, so he had to push Zoro off of him.

"Damn right I do!" the blond arched his eyebrow and sat up "And you've got morning breath, so." he shrugged.

"You asshole!" Zoro growled, slapping Sanji's leg as he started laughing.

"C'mon… I'll make you the best breakfast of your life." Sanji announced as he stood up, trying to cover his absolutely raging hard on by tugging his t-shirt as low as he could.

"Promises, promises." Zoro sighed as he rolled out of bed and went to pick up some clothes from the closet. The massive bulge in his boxers impossible not to be noticed as he strutted towards the piece of furniture.

Sanji let out a shivering breath. He could have definitely used an ice cold shower.

"Hey, look at me." Sanji sighed before starting to chew on his lipring.

Zoro rounded to look at Sanji, a sharp eyebrow cocked as he waited for the singer to actually say something else. This time Sanji was truly looking at his face, instead of letting his eyes wander lower.

"You know that I…" Sanji struggled to get the words out. He felt so embarrassed, and it was the most frustrating feeling ever. He had never been that sheepish about sex, he didn't know what the hell was going on. "Shit…" he gazed up at the ceiling as if he needed guidance from above. He could feel Zoro's confused eyes burning on his skin, and he was sure that even his neck and chest were reddening up.

Zoro folded his arms over his broad chest, patiently waiting for the Sanji.exe to actually start working again. The tiniest of smirks was tugging at the corners of Zoro's lips, and once Sanji saw it he had to hold back from commenting on it.

"Look," Sanji groaned, fighting the urge to cover his face with both hands, and just limited himself to scratching the back of his neck "I really wanna do this… With you."

The teeny tiny smirk on Zoro's lips cracked into a full blown grin "I know," he snorted "you think I'm mad at you, or something?"

Zoro had to be thankful that Sanji loved him as much as he did, because he would have kicked that grin right off of his face, otherwise. He was already embarrassed enough, there was no need to make fun of him.

"I don't know?" Sanji said in a frustrated high pitch "I just stopped us from… Wherever we could have ended up doing, and I know this is stupid as fuck coming from me. I don't know what's going on with me!" Sanji bursted, almost hysterically.

"Just chill out!" Zoro groaned, then shook his head before taking a few steps towards Sanji "What you told me last night... I remember all of it. I'll stay true to what I promised you, I won't leave you just because we didn't do it right away!" he grimaced, as if the taste of those words rolling off of his tongue was sour as hell.

Sanji lowered his gaze to the floor. He knew he wasn't being scolded, and he didn't feel like he had been, but Zoro's words hit him like a train. Sanji somehow really feared that not having sex with Zoro right away could have compromised something. As if the only thing that truly mattered was just… _That_. For all his life Sanji had never wanted Zoro to be tainted, to become just like all the other boys he had slept with. That was the main reason why he'd never even tried seducing him, and Zoro was just proving to him that there was just no way he'd be like everyone else.

"Hey," Zoro softly chucked Sanji underneath his chin, so that he would look up at him "you alright?"

Sanji nodded, yet the same guilty expression stayed plastered on his face "Why did I wait so long for this? For… _Us_?"

Those words weighed a thousand pounds, and spilling them out made Sanji feel so much lighter. He watched as Zoro's expression turned into something unexplainable, his eyebrows raised and his eyes fell shut as he let out a huff of air.

"It wasn't just your fault." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, and Sanji threw his arms around his neck to pull him into a bone crushing hug.

"But it's always been you," Sanji spoke against Zoro's earlobe "I just couldn't see it."

Zoro's arms went to loop tightly around Sanji's waist "Stop. Don't you dare making me fucking cry."

Sanji bursted out laughing and pulled back to look at Zoro as he too laughed, but his eyes were glistening with the tears he didn't allow to come out.

"You fucking dork." Sanji shook his head before planting a hard and long kiss on Zoro's lips "C'mon, give me a pair of pants so we can go downstairs."

"I was gonna do that, but you wanted to get emotional!" Zoro shrugged.

"Shut the fuck up." Sanji shoved him away and slapped his ass once he turned around to start again in the direction of his closet. "Your nose is still bruised, by the way." he added while Zoro rummaged through his stuff.

"Yeah, it feels bruised, but I'll be fine." he didn't even turn around as he threw a pair of sweatpants at Sanji.

"You promised you'd get it checked." Sanji reminded him as he effortlessly caught the pants with one hand.

"And I will, as promised." Zoro's voice came muffled, as he was just in the process of tugging on a t-shirt. "Ow! Shit!"

"Did you poke your nose?" Sanji asked, a knowing smirk curling his lips as he slipped on the sweatpants.

The only answer he received was a groan, and Sanji could only respond with a laugh.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Never had Zoro thought that so much could happen overnight. The whirlwind of emotions and events had been absolutely insane, there was no better word to describe it. He didn't think he would have fought off a maniac in the hour that followed the most anticipated moment of his life. Nor did he expect to hear such an unexpected and serious confession, like the one that Sanji had made once they were into Zoro's bedroom.

Zoro and Sanji usually spoke about everything, or almost everything. Tipically, the blond would actually overshare, especially when it came to his sexual adventures and experimenting. Zoro would always be the one to beg him to stop being gross, and basically stop reminding him that too many people had laid their hands, bodies and mouths on the one he loved.

Coming to know about people abusing of Sanji in such an awful way had awaken a rage and disgust that Zoro had to fight back as hard as he could. He would have wanted to explode and break the bones of all the disgusting beings who had made Sanji suffer… Who had made Sanji hide and bottle up all of that pain inside of him.

Zoro always knew that Sanji was really tough, he had survived so many awful things, fought against life and tried to pursue his dreams no matter the obstacles. He knew that there was something broken inside of him, something that kept him from being the happy, kind kid he used to be, yet he never expected the damage to be so dramatic. Sanji was so much stronger than anyone could think or know, but even the strongest wall can fall apart when the bricks are too consumed.

Zoro wanted to take it all away, all that pain and suffering, inhale it through his kisses, absorb it through his caresses. He would have wanted to bear that pain if it meant that Sanji could be happy again, if it meant that the gorgeous smile on his face would always reach his beautiful blue eyes. But he didn't have to... He didn't have to be a hero, didn't have to wage war on anyone, all he had to do was being there and letting Sanji love him, and his smile was now shining brighter than any star.

As they made their way downstairs, their bare feet making soft noises and their fingers entwining like they had been made to fit together, as Zoro watched Sanji's hair fall over his eye, he couldn't stop smirking. He felt stupidly happy and grateful, to just being able to reach a hand out and touch Sanji again was a blessing. To be able to call him his boyfriend was even more incredible.

He gave Sanji's hand a squeeze, making the blond look up at him with a raised eyebrow and a quizzical smirk. He couldn't get enough of the way in which his blue eyes stared into his, the curl of his full lips, the deep voice that said things he'd ever only just dreamed of.

"What's so funny?" Sanji asked after a few moments of Zoro just staring at him.

"Life, I guess." Zoro shrugged.

"Hmm…" Sanji hummed, shrugging a shoulder himself "I guess so, too." a sheepish smile tugged at the corner of the blond's mouth.

Zoro was still absorbed in his own musings and reverence of the gorgeous human being that was standing right next to him, when Sanji abruptly came to a halt, face warped with shock.

Zoro's eyebrows drew together impossibly close "What the-?" he began to mutter as he too turned his head to look in the same direction, and the sight made him freeze just like Sanji.

Mihawk and Shanks were there. Of course they would be up at that time of the morning, how couldn't Zoro think of that? Not that they could have avoided them forever, especially since they were in the same house, but Zoro wasn't particularly looking forward to the teasing that was going to follow. By the way in which Sanji's face was rapidly turning a dark shade of red, he wasn't ready either.

Mihawk was staring at them, his stoic expression was slightly more surprised than usual, one of his sharp eyebrows raised as he sat in his usual spot by the kitchen table, steamy mug of coffee in hand. Shanks was standing right next to him, a hand still placed on the back of his husband's neck and the other holding a matching mug of americano, his expression was that of a deer caught in the headlights.

Zoro didn't know what to do, nor say, so he kept quiet and still, as if that lack of action would make him invisible to his parents. Sanji was as still as a statue, and Zoro had begun to wonder whether he had forgotten to breathe or not.

It wasn't like they had been caught by a couple of parents that would have been hateful towards them being both guys. It wasn't like they had been caught doing something despicable, illegal or disgusting. Yet all the things that had happened hadn't just washed away, nor disappeared into thin air, it was something that Sanji clearly was ashamed of, and something that could have made Zoro's parents dislike him. Zoro on the other hand, was just not ready to all the questions, the comments and remarks that would have followed. It felt like it was definitely too soon for that, not even the couple had completely processed everything yet.

"What did you put in this coffee?" Mihawk asked as he stared down into his mug. Surprisingly enough, he'd been the first one to break the ice. No one would have expected it, especially not Zoro who was staring at him wide eyed.

Shanks slowly shook his head "No idea, didn't think you could hallucinate with a morning coffee."

"Why do you still own the dojo when you could do stand-up comedy, I wonder." Zoro commented with a roll of his eyes.

He couldn't deny that the tension had slightly given in, but he still couldn't help his reactions towards his parents being sarcastic.

"Because of how much of a kill joy you are." Shanks commented as he cocked an eyebrow in Zoro's direction.

"Uh... Morning, I guess?" Sanji attempted to open his mouth, the phrase coming out shaky and unsure.

There was a slight curl in Mihawk's lips as he brought his mug to his mouth to take a long sip of his coffee, and a huge grin threatened to split his face in a half.

"Welcome back, Sanji." Shanks said with a nod "There's still some coffee left, if you'd like."

A trembling sigh left Zoro's lips, his eyes falling shut for just a few moments as he felt like a huge boulder had been lifted off of his chest. Those were probably the best words Shanks could have used in that moment, and it made Zoro feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"Yeah…" Sanji huffed out a sound between a laugh and a sob, tears were suddenly streaming down his face when Zoro turned to look at him, but he quickly rubbed them off as he nodded "I'd like that, thanks."

Shanks placed the mug down on the table and in a few quick strides cleared the distance between he and Sanji, only to wrap his arms around the blond and hold him into a fatherly embrace. Zoro couldn't hear the words that were being whispered between the two, but recognized more sobbing mixed with laughter as he watched his father and boyfriend sharing a moment that made his throat knot up.

"Should we hug?" Mihawk asked with an arched brow, which made Zoro laugh out harder than he had intended.

"Shut up, dad." Zoro shook his head, then wiped off a tear that had escaped his control.

"I'm so happy that you two are together," Shanks said as he pulled back from the hug, and placed both hands on Sanji's cheeks "so happy to see you here again, I've missed you." he went on as he thumbed Sanji's tears away.

"Please," Sanji cried out, closing his eyes for a moment "stop making me cry!"

Everyone laughed at that, and Shanks let go of Sanji's face to shake his head and move to brew some more coffee.

"You alright?" Zoro asked, placing a hand on Sanji's arm and squeezing it softly.

"Yeah," Sanji smiled at him, furiously wiping at his face.

"He threatened you, didn't he?" Mihawk chimed in "He told you not to go near the kitchen, right? He's too possessive."

"What the fuck has gotten into you, this morning?" Shanks bursted all of a sudden "Did Louis C.K. bite you, or something?"

"Loius C.K. is funny, at least." Zoro commented with a quirked eyebrow.

"Oh my god…" Sanji had to cover his face with both hands, and Shanks let out a laugh that was definitely louder than necessary.

"First I get accused of being too serious, and now this," Mihawk groaned "there's absolutely no way of winning with this family."

"Aww, my poor baby." Shanks cooed as he bent over slightly to press a kiss to Mihawk's temple.

"He's still a better cook than you." Mihawk commented.

"Oh shit!" Zoro covered his mouth, and Sanji let out a loud gasp.

"Good!" Shanks looked up at Sanji "Looks like you won't be leaving this house ever again, I quit my position!"

There was another round of laughs, and then Shanks picked up his apron from the small rack it was hanging from, and handed it to Sanji.

"I'm too tired to give a damn about making breakfast for these monsters, anyway." Shanks shrugged, and Zoro saw the way in which Sanji's nostrils trembled and his lips twitched.

Zoro looked down, a sheepish smile grazing his lips as he thought to himself that all was well now. Every piece of the puzzle had fallen into place, and all of a sudden he couldn't even believe how rough things had actually been just twenty four hours earlier.

Sanji gently plucked the apron from Shanks' fingers and mouthed a _'thank you'_ , to which Shanks replied with a deep nod and a smile. Sanji wore the apron and Zoro's heart skipped a beat, all the small things he had found himself missing with his whole heart were finally taking place again. Shanks bantering with Mihawk over Sanji cooking, Sanji adjusting the strap of the apron as he began to gather all the ingredients to make breakfast. Zoro made his way to take his usual seat by the table, right across from Mihawk who had resumed his reading. The smile from a few moments before was still plastered on Zoro's lips. The only thing that was missing in that perfect scenario was…

"Holy fucking shit!!"

Mihawk and Shanks simultaneously turned their heads to glare at the kitchen door, where the imprecation had been shouted from. Zoro furrowed his brows and turned to look in that same direction, only to find the missing pieces he'd just been thinking about.

"Sorry… I know. No shouting," a sheepish Luffy whined as he grimaced at his parents, Usopp stood beside him with his eyes glued to the person standing by the stove, "but Sanji is here! Making breakfast! This is the best thing that has happened in such a long time!" Luffy shouted again, throwing both hands in the air and launching himself at Sanji.

"Whoa! Easy!" Sanji was holding a pan in one hand and a spatula in the other, so he just froze with his arms in the air as he was nearly squeezed to death by his own bassist.

"It’s not like you didn’t drive him here, last night?" Zoro asked, scowling at the loud pair.

"Well, I forgot about it!" Luffy shouted, probably causing a permanent damage to Sanji’s ear.

"I did remember it, but it was just so good to see him here! This is really the best day ever!" Usopp laughed out excitedly, and went to hug Sanji while Luffy was still all looped around him.

Everyone laughed, and Sanji just shook his head and hugged those dummies even if he was still holding the pan and the spatula in his hands. Zoro turned to look at Shanks and found him beaming at him, yet he didn't find it creepy nor awkward, he was too happy to think that.

"Am I awake? Like... Is this just a dream? Will I wake up to being miserable as shit, or…?" Zoro asked his father with a shrug.

Shanks shook his head "I promise you this is very real."

To make the point clearer, Mihawk rolled up the newspaper and swatted Zoro across the head as hard as possible.

"Ow! What the fuck?!" Zoro cried out, pressing a hand down on his head and glaring daggers at Mihawk.

"You're awake, see?"

"Fuck off…" Zoro muttered, and his parents kept laughing at him.

The late breakfast turned into an actual feast, as it bloomed into a full blown brunch and Shanks began to help Sanji in the kitchen, even if the majority of the cooking was all done by the blond. The meal, as delicious as it was, was more of an excuse to celebrate Zoro and Sanji's reunion, than anything else. Not even Mihawk could help but smile (even if it was very subtle and almost imperceptible, because he still needed to be as stoic as humanly possible) all the time, because it was probably the merriest day ever in a long while.

Luffy commented on Sabo's absence, since he had clearly forgotten quite a few details from the night before, and Sanji had just smirked to himself when Zoro had explained that he had probably spent the night somewhere else. Luffy still failed to remember what had happened the night before and everyone but Mihawk laughed at how clueless he was.

Shanks hadn't passed on the opportunity to tell Sanji about the accident that caused Zoro to get his arm wounded, making his husband mutter curses underneath his breath, Zoro roll his eyes into the back of his skull, and Sanji shake his head. Usopp and Luffy stuffed themselves stupidly full of food, and passed out on the kitchen floor while everyone was still chatting and sipping coffee or a little booze. They only woke up when Ace made his entrance and loudly expressed his joy of seeing Sanji and Zoro together again, and Shanks' eyes were frantically moving from Ace to Zoro, still trying to figure out if everything  had truly been put behind.

"You're back!" Luffy shrieked out, rubbing one of his eyes and standing up from the floor. Usopp shouted in pain when Luffy accidentally stepped on his hand in the process of sitting back in his chair.

"What the hell is even going on, here?!" Ace laughed, shaking his head.

"Celebrating Zoro and Sanji, pretty much." Shanks filled his oldest son in.

"Oh! That's cool!" Ace grinned "I didn't wanna interrupt, I just need some rest." he explained vaguely, long fingers running through his dark hair.

"Yeah, I can imagine." Sanji smiked knowingly, Zoro shot him a glance to see if he was going to make some embarrassing remark, but was surprised to see that he had just limited himself to lighting up another cigarette.

"Yeah, so…" Ace jabbed his thumb back in the general direction of the stairs, his cheekbones pinking up because of Sanji's words.

Despite his father's worry, Zoro didn't hold that big of a grudge against his brother any longer. Though what had happened between Sanji and Ace wasn't erasable, it had been water under a bridge and he perfectly knew now that Sanji wasn't in love with the brunet. Zoro stood up to get an extra glass from the cupboard behind him, poured some rum into it, and handed it to Ace. Sure they had sort of celebrated the night before, and he and Ace had made up a while ago, yet Zoro felt like that moment held a deeper meaning.

"Care to join us, just for a second?" the drummer asked.

Ace's eyes went from Zoro's gaze to the glass, then back to his brother's eyes "Sure… Why not?" he smirked, and took the glass from Zoro's hand.

"I guess your boyfriend kept you up all night?" Mihawk asked, making everyone gasp in surprise and Ace choke on the first sip of rum.

"Mihawk!" Shanks groaned, slapping him on the shoulder.

"What?" Mihawk asked, sharp eyebrows furrowed together "Why do we gotta tiptoe around this, still?"

"I-it's fine…" Ace tried to answer as he kept on coughing. "I was, uh… I was at his workplace, actually."

Zoro tensed up all of a sudden, and so did Sanji as he sat beside him. He glanced at his boyfriend and saw that he was now staring down at his knees, fists tightened into his lap. It wasn't a good idea to talk about what had happened the night before, not while Shanks and Mihawk were there. Not even Luffy and Usopp knew what had actually happened.

"What? Why?" Shanks asked, frowning in confusion "He's a cop, right?"

"Yeah, he is. There was just some commotion yesterday, after the-" Ace tried to explain, but was briskly interrupted by Sanji standing up.

"Uh, I think I drank too much rum or something, I- uh… I don't feel very good, excuse me." the blond stammered as he exited the kitchen in a hurry.

"Yeah, I don't feel great either. I ate too much." Usopp commented right away, and Zoro couldn't tell if it was genuine, or just a way to help Sanji out with masking his discomfort. The drummer was thankful, one way or another.

"You guys are exaggerated." Shanks shook his head.

"I'll go check on him…" Zoro announced as he too stood up, and shot Ace a meaningful glare.

"I won't tell…" Ace mouthed with a small shake of the head, to which Zoro replied with a curt nod.

"Hey, Zoro…" Mihawk grabbed him by the wrist on his way out, making him stop and look down at him "What's wrong with your nose?"

Zoro's blood froze in his veins.

"The idiot ran into a freaking door, last night. He was so wasted!" Ace replied with a snort and a shake of his head.

Zoro sighed and rolled his eyes, pretending to be embarrassed by what Ace had said. "It happens even to me, at times."

Mihawk didn't look completely sold, but Shanks was definitely more worried about Zoro's nose than anything else.

"Let me see, c'mon." Shanks said as he stood up from his seat to check on Zoro's nose.

"I'm fine, don't sweat it." Zoro groaned.

"Shut up." Shanks hushed him and began to touch and feel Zoro's nose, making him squirm "See? It's slightly broken."

"One hell of a tough door, huh?" Mihawk commented.

"I gotta go, dad…" Zoro protested, but to no avail, because Shanks had already placed his hands on each side of Zoro's nose.

"It'll only be a minute, breathe in."

"Fuck…" Zoro knew what was coming, so he quickly did as told and Shanks snapped his nose back into place. "Fucking shit!" Zoro cried out, one single tear escaping his control.

"Here…" Ace handed Zoro an ice pack wrapped in a clean rag, that he had promptly prepared for him as soon as he understood what Shanks was about to do.

"Thanks…" Zoro grabbed the ice pack and glared at Shanks before pressing it against his throbbing nose and leaving the kitchen.

He didn't know where Sanji could have gone precisely, but his best guess was the bedroom, so he walked upstairs. Zoro knew he could trust Ace not to tell the truth to their parents, he wasn't worried about that, but he knew how fragile Sanji was, and how embarrassing it had been for him, the night before.

Zoro found the door of his room cracked slightly open, so all he had to do was give it a gentle push to reveal Sanji lying spreadeagled on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey…" Zoro called out softly, ice pack still covering half of his face.

"Oh…" Sanji sat halfway up, propping himself up on his elbow as he furrowed his brows at Zoro "The fuck happened?"

Zoro snorted, moving the ice away "What you wanted," he shrugged a shoulder "Shanks fixed my nose."

Sanji let out a small laugh and sat up completely, holding out his arms and wriggling his fingers invitingly "C'mhere, you huge child."

Zoro rolled his eyes "Don't even start."

"C'moooooon…" Sanji whined, tilting his head to the side.

Zoro let out a sigh and walked up to the bed to sit down on the edge, allowing Sanji to grab his face with both hands to inspect his nose from up close.

"Yeah, it was a little crooked before, it's better now," Sanji commented "couldn't have your pretty face ruined, you would be the only ugly one on stage and I can't have that." he shook his head, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Zoro grumbled, while Sanji squished his cheeks with his hands.

Sanji laughed softly, then carefully pecked the point of Zoro's nose, making him groan softly "I'm sorry, babe." he shook his head "It's my fault." he sighed, his smirk fading little by little.

"Don't start again," Zoro chucked him under his chin "that fucking asshole headbutted me, not you."

Sanji pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. No matter what Zoro kept repeating to him, he still couldn’t help feeling even just slightly guilty for Zoro getting hurt.

"Did Ace…?" Sanji tentatively asked.

"No," Zoro shook his head "he won't tell, he'll keep it vague."

"Good…" Sanji let out a sigh, then raised an eyebrow as if he had just remembered about something important "Fuck, I gotta go report what happened."

Zoro had nearly forgotten about it, too "Ah shit, you do…"

"I gotta go to work, too! This was supposed to be our quiet day together!" Sanji began to whine, and it sounded to Zoro as if he was about to break down crying.

"Hey, hey! Easy!" Zoro placed his hands on Sanji's shoulders, squeezing them softly "I ain't going nowhere, we can spend tomorrow together, all day long."

Sanji looked as distressed as ever, but Zoro's words seemed to have done the trick "Also… You can't take me on a date like this, your nose looks gross."

Zoro groaned, throwing his head back while Sanji wrapped both arms around his neck and laughed against his skin "Fuck you!"

"After you'll take me out to dinner." Sanji singsonged, lips pressing against the vein of Zoro's neck.

Zoro's eyes widened, and he immediately had to swallow thickly. So… Was it really gonna happen, the next day? Something he had fantasized about for the biggest part of his life… Was it going to become a reality?

"Alright…" was all Zoro could manage to say.

"But… Can I come sleep here, after work?" Sanji asked, innocently and meaning it, as he pulled back "I don't think I'd be able to sleep, alone."

Zoro had to hold back a moan. How could Sanji go from zero to a hundred, and then from a hundred to zero like it was absolutely no big deal? That should have been against the law. Zoro needed his heart to be intact.

"Of course, you can." Zoro sighed.

"Thank you…" Sanji whispered as he pressed his lips against Zoro's.

"Whoa! Shit!"

A voice made both of them jump in surprise and stare at the doorway in bewilderment, just when the kiss was about to get a lot more heated.

"I'm sorry, but the door was open and-" Ace raised his hands, trying to defend himself.

"What the fuck, Ace?" Sanji cried out "Where you peeping, or something?"

"No!" Ace growled "I was just-" he blushed as he rolled his eyes, as if he couldn't believe the accusations that Sanji had just made "What the hell! I just wanted to remind you about the statement you have to give. Smoker just texted me." he folded his arms across his chest and looked away.

"Yeah we were… Just saying that." Zoro said, then grimaced at how stupid that must have probably sounded. Especially after Ace had just walked in on them making out.

"Right…" Ace stared at his brother, then sucked in a big breath "Uh, look. Our parents know nothing, if you wanna go down to the station Smoker is still on duty. He'll try and make it quick." he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah… Okay." Zoro nodded "Thanks."

Ace hesitated to say or do anything else, then just quickly disappeared, pulling the door shut as he went away.

"What the fuck just happened?" Sanji stared at the now closed door.

"I have no idea…" Zoro shook his head "But we should probably get going."

"Yeah…" Sanji sighed "We should."

And as they fought tooth and nail against the urge to tear each other's lips apart, they managed to get ready as fast as lightning, muttering some dumb excuses as to why they were leaving so suddenly, and they were on the road. By foot. Because of course Zoro didn't have a car, and Sanji's was back at his place.

They decided to take a cab once they were halfway to the police station, because Sanji was stupidly tired and Zoro kept trying to walk off into the dumbest direction, and if they had kept at it they'd probably reach the place in approximately three months.

The place wasn't too busy, probably because of the time of the evening, or who the hell knew. None of them was a police station expert, thankfully. It did feel uncomfortable to walk in there with an healing and slightly purple nose, though, Zoro couldn't lie about that. He sort of felt guilty for fighting Bellamy the way he had, and all of a sudden he remembered that he could have been there with a murder charge… Hadn't Ace and Smoker came on time.

"You alright?" Sanji asked, searching for Zoro's vacant eyes.

"Huh?" the drummer quirked an eyebrow, then nodded in answer "Yeah, sure…"

Sanji didn't seem fully convinced, so he was the one to take it upon himself to ask for Smoker at the reception, since Zoro's mind was still wandering. The drummer nervously touched the bridge of his nose, trying to somehow cover up the bruising area. Yes, maybe it had been self defense, he had been protecting Sanji, but he couldn't shake off the nasty feeling of having to deal with serious accusations.

"Thank goodness, he's still here." Sanji let out a relieved sigh, as the receptionist called Smoker through the intercom.

"Yeah?" Zoro raised both his eyebrows, a relieved breath left his lips, too. "That's great. It feels shitty being here." he confessed, rubbing at his brow in frustration.

"Yeah, police stations are like hospitals," Sanji commented, but then caught up quickly with the distress in Zoro's tone and body language "what's wrong, though? You look like you're about to throw up, or something." he frowned.

Zoro shrugged "I don't know, it's stupid." he tried to dismiss his feelings so that Sanji wouldn't worry.

"C'mon, tell me!" Sanji pressed, but in a lower tone of voice.

"It's nothing, I told you." Zoro went on, between gritted teeth.

"You did nothing bad," Sanji lowered his voice even more, eyes scanning their surroundings to make sure that people weren't staring "you were just helping me."

Zoro remained quiet for a second. Of course Sanji would know exactly what was going through his head in that very moment. He wanted to reply, telling Sanji that he had been an idiot for not controlling himself, and that something serious could have happened, but he didn't get the chance.

"Hey guys," Smoker got their attention "sorry for making you wait. I was a little caught up."

Zoro turned in the direction of the voice, but Sanji was quicker to speak up.

"Oh, don't be. We should have come earlier." the blond apologized with a nod and a small, yet bright smile.

"That's alright, we'll be quick." Smoker motioned for them to follow him, and took off in the direction of his office.

Sanji squeezed Zoro's wrist briefly in encouragement, before they started following him. Zoro found it bizarre, to say the least, that the roles were suddenly reverted. Sanji had been the nervous one back home, and now it was Zoro who couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and how easily he could have ended a life and ruined his own. Not that Bellamy hadn't deserved what he got, because Zoro would have absolutely done it again, if needed, but he only now was realizing how dangerous he could be and how important Mihawk's teachings about control were.

Once they were inside, Smoker asked a series of questions to the couple, he wrote down everything on a computer file, as he smoked one of his huge cigars. Zoro wasn't a fan of smoking in general, but while he had gotten used to the smell of Sanji's cigarettes, cigars were something he truly couldn't stand. That trip to the police station was a complete nightmare.

"Alright, I got everything I need," Smoker started, pulling the cigar out of his lips "I'll file for a restraining order, too, but rest assured that the son of a bitch will serve some serious time in prison."

"Is Zoro safe from any sort of charge?" Sanji asked, before allowing himself to heave out a breath of relief.

Zoro's heart skipped a beat at those words, and his eyebrows drew together as he waited for Smoker to say anything about him.

"Of course he is," Smoker snorted, cigar being shoved back between his teeth "he did what I would have done, too. But next time try to, you know…" he made an eloquent hand gesture towards Zoro.

"Not put people in a coma, yeah." Zoro muttered, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Yeah, that." Smoker nodded, and Sanji's eyes nearly fell out of his sockets "He's not in a coma, don't worry." he added quickly to reassure the blond.

"Oh, alright!" Sanji let out a nervous chuckle, then allowed himself to breathe for a moment before asking "Can we go, now?"

Smoker stood up, trying to fit his button down shirt back into the waistband of his pants, but failing miserably "Yeah, yeah… I'm gonna go, too. I'm exhausted."

"Ace kept you up all night?" Sanji smirked.

"N-no… No, what?" Smoker fumbled, his cheekbones quickly reddening up, while both Sanji and Zoro failed to hold back their laughter "Get the hell outta here!"

And so they did, trying to hold in their laughter before Smoker sent their asses to jail for making him look like an idiot. They left the police station as quickly as they could manage, not wanting to spend another single moment in there.

"I should go to work." Sanji announced with a sigh, and shoving his hands down his pockets.

Zoro pursed his lips, stoic expression going back to harden his features as he looked at Sanji. He didn't really want to be separated from him, just as much as Sanji didn't want to. It was silly, they both knew it, but after being apart and angry at each other for such a long time, they would have wanted to share every second together.

"Yeah, I guess you should." Zoro commented with a nod.

"Don't give me that look." Sanji sighed, and Zoro raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not giving you a look." Zoro shrugged, he couldn't control the expressions he made, and he didn't even know what his face was truly doing in that moment.

"Let's call a cab, though… I don't want you to end up in an ocean or in another country, just 'cause you're directionally challenged." Sanji suggested, keeping a perfectly straight face.

"That shit’s getting real old." Zoro growled, rolling his eyes.

"It might," Sanji shrugged a shoulder "but it ain't getting any less real."

"Fuck right off!" Zoro grumbled as Sanji laughed "But yeah... It'd be a lot less effort." he agreed, nonetheless.

"Good, so I can hold your hand in the cab." Sanji smirked, and Zoro had to look away as his face flushed a deep shade of red.

The blond laughed softly and placed the cigarette between his lips as he fished out his cellphone in order to search for the taxi number he had dialed earlier.

"I think I'm gonna drop by the dojo," Zoro said all of a sudden, while Sanji’s call was still on hold "I haven't properly worked out in a while." he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Sanji didn't have time to reply right away, because he had finally been redirected to the cab service, and someone had actually answered. Zoro pressed his lips together and watched the way in which Sanji's mouth moved while he spoke, the way his head tilted to the side as he waited for an answer, how his thumb flicked at the cigarette to get rid of the extra ashes. He was so stupidly in love with all of these little details, things others might have found to be the most insignificant things. He had missed them all, and he was completely obsessed with them, now.

"Alright, so the cab will be here in ten minutes," Sanji announced, looking away for just a moment, so that he wouldn't exhale any smoke in Zoro's face "and sure, the dojo is closer to the Baratie, than your house."

Zoro nodded at Sanji's words, then looked down when the blond tried to sneak his hand into Zoro's pocket, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket until Zoro figured out that he wanted to pull his hand out, so that Sanji could hold it. Stupidly romantic.

Was that his life now? Well that was corny as hell, but he couldn't really complain.

"You could come get some food, too…" Sanji started speaking again, his tone vague as he looked down at their entwined fingers "before you go back home."

Zoro arched an eyebrow, and for a very valid reason, an uncomfortable feeling settled into the pit of his stomach "I'd rather not run into Zeff, actually… Just yet, y'know." he tossed, trying to sound as harmless as possible.

Sanji looked up at him, probably not expecting the negative answer "No, that's…" Sanji shrugged his shoulders "You're right. That's fine. I'll just come after work, yeah?" he asked, tentatively.

Sanji might have thought that Zoro could have suddenly changed his mind about the blond sleeping over at his house, but of course that was not the case. He just felt sort of uncomfortable about seeing Zeff, after such a long time, and by the backdoor of the Baratie.

"Yeah, that's cool." Zoro nodded.

"He's not mad at you, you know?" Sanji almost spoke over Zoro "Just saying."

How could he do that? How could Zoro just refuse to meet Sanji's father, when Sanji had just cooked a gigantic meal for his family? That was incredibly unfair on his part. He needed to suck it the hell up.

"Then I'll drop by, if you can take a little break." Zoro said firmly, yet genuinely. It didn't feel as an obligation, he just needed to push any kind of nervousness aside and face the man. If the occasion presented itself, of course.

The smile that appeared on Sanji's face was bright enough to lighten up the sky, his eyes shining with the happiness of a child. Zoro's heart skipped several beats, as he watched a soft shade of red tinting Sanji's cheeks up.

"Sure, I'll need my cigarette break, of course." Sanji said as he remembered about the cigarette that was burning away in his other hand. He gave a nervous chuckle before bringing it to his lips to take a deep drag of tobacco.

"Of course, you will." Zoro smirked, then took the cigarette right out of Sanji's lips, and smothered any of Sanji's protests with a long, deep kiss, that was broken by the loud honking of the taxi driver.

"Rude fuck." Sanji muttered as he pulled away from Zoro, glaring at the cab that had just stopped in front of them.

Zoro just sniggered it off, and climbed into the back seats along with his boyfriend.

The ride was silent, as Sanji played with Zoro's fingers in his lap, tracing random patterns on the back of his hand, and tickling his palm as gently as ever. Zoro could feel weariness creeping up over him, now that they were just sitting inside the car, after all they hadn't really gotten that much sleep.

"Will you be alright at work?" Zoro suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Sanji furrowed his eyebrows "Why shouldn't I?" he asked, puzzled.

"Dunno… We didn't sleep much?" Zoro said with a shrug.

A sarcastic snort found its way out of Sanji's throat "I have slept a total of one… Two and a half hours per night, lately," Sanji arched an eyebrow at Zoro's concern "last night was the best sleep I've gotten in so long, just thanks to your stupid ass being with me." he smiled softly.

Right. Zoro hadn't really thought about that, even if Sanji had told him. He smirked, flattered to know that he had actually been helpful to Sanji "You give the best compliments."

"I sure do." Sanji raised his eyebrows, a cheeky grin threatening to split his face in a half.

Zoro was about to kiss that big, goofy smile off of his face, but the taxi came suddenly to a halt and the driver turned in his seat to look at them, thumb jerking in the direction of the building on his right

"This is it, sirs." the man announced in none too enthusiastic way.

Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he had interrupted them for the second time in a few minutes, or else he would have punched him in the face. The man was just doing his job, after all.

"Uh, yeah!" Sanji said as he looked over at the dojo on their right "I'll just walk from here."

Zoro gave a curt nod, then handed the cab driver the money they owed him and slipped out of the car along with his boyfriend.

"You truly feared I was gonna get lost on my way here, huh?" Zoro asked. He hadn't even tried to protest when Sanji had given the driver the address of the dojo, instead of the Baratie's.

"Yeah, and I don't have time to come find you in a liquor store or a park, or…" Sanji shrugged a shoulder "A jungle, or some shit."

"Fuck you." Zoro said automatically.

"You really can't wait, can you?" Sanji smirked, and Zoro felt his cheeks catch fire.

"Just go the fuck to work, alright?" Zoro muttered, his face was burning up and he was already done with the amount of times his face had flared up that day. He needed an off button for this damn blushing problem.

"Alright, alright," Sanji rolled his eyes, then pecked at Zoro's lips "I'll see you later."

Zoro nodded, then watched Sanji turn around on his heels and start walking in the direction of the Baratie. He stayed there until Sanji disappeared around a corner, lighter being pushed back in his pocket as he had just lit up the umpteenth cigarette of that day, then finally Zoro sucked in a deep breath and unlocked the front door of the dojo.

As he walked through the unlit facility, he couldn't stop wracking his brains about the following day. Where could he take Sanji to dinner? What could they do afterwards? Skipping directly to sex didn't sound that nice. Maybe they should have hit a club, or something?

Goodness, why did it have to be so complicated? Zoro knew jack about all that stuff. He truly just hoped he was going to make Sanji happy and loved, instead of making it look like just another meaningless fuck. That should have been easy, right?

Then why the hell was he freaking out so damn much?!

 

**To Be Continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I had to interrupt the chapter here, but I needed this chapter to be just about the day after the reunion and the Bellamy incident. I might have material for two more chapters, but as usual, we’ll see. I’ll definitely try not to make you wait a hundred years for the next chapter, but I can’t promise anything. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought of this chap ;)


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